I Will Sing

February 25, 2011 by · 3 Comments

I love music.

I sing

all day long…really. Sometimes I pull out my guitar and sing for Maelie. (She loves it because she doesn’t know any better yet. :)) Sometimes I just belt out a random tune. Sometimes I make up songs about things like…well, let’s just hope that Maelie’s first words aren’t something about dirty diapers. đŸ˜€Â Sometimes I butcher “Defying Gravity” and once I even tried to sing the ending of “Think of Me” from Phantom.

Um, no.

It seems there is always a song in my head and usually on my lips. I just love music and the powerful way it speaks to me.

So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that my daughter is already “singing”. And, at times, sounding better than her mommy.

:)

Last night was praise team practice. (Yes, the cold is at least better enough for me to try singing, but I kept the volume down. :)) It was fun…there was enough humor in the group (Titanic, anyone? And my heart will go on and on…) to keep us laughing, and most of the songs I could at least figure out.

Then we got to the last one.

It’s a Chris Tomlin and one of my favorites.

But it’s also one that I’m not sure I can sing in public.

There’s too much intense emotion that wells up within me when I hear it…imagine trying to sing it. I got through the words in practice, but I couldn’t think about the meaning at all.

Or the time in my life that it points back to.

A time where I was looking so hard for God in the middle of something…and I just couldn’t see Him. I wanted to…but my eyes were blinded by so much.

Loss. Grief. Lack of faith.

One thing that keeping this blog has done for me? It has forced me to revisit some of the tough things in life. And that’s good…I need to process things.

But the thing is…I’m tired of the ashes.

I want beauty.

I want to stand up and shout that He’s my God…and He is Everything…and that the things He’s done are amazing!

On days that are full of sunshine…AND on days that are filled with shadows.

On Sunday we’re going to sing a song…

It might make me cry. It might make me smile.

It might make me lift my hands and say, “God, You are so, so Good.”

But no matter what…I Will Sing.

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win.
I can sing when

I lose my step and I fall down again.
I can sing ’cause You pick me up, sing ’cause You’re there,
I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to

You in prayer.


I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know
That I’ll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name

?
I know I am loved by the King…and it makes my heart want to sing.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, music, remembering

I Love Thursdays

February 24, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

It’s Thursday. One of my favorite days of the week.

I really, really love Thursdays.

This is the day of the week that life is a little different for me and my girl. Oh, sure, at random times during the week we will get out and do different things.

But Thursday is the day I go to the Mom’s Bible Study at Immanuel.

To say that it is a highlight of the week is an understatement…it is THE highlight.

One of the biggest reasons I dreaded moving here is because we didn’ t know anyone.

That left me with two choices: shut down and never make any friends; or, get out there and make some new ones.

Neither of those choices really appealed to me. I’m not the type to completely shut down and never be social…but go knocking on someone’s door looking for a friend

? Especially in a new place where I don’t know my way around

? Yeah, that’s not me either.

Thankfully God met me where I was and sent me a friend, who knocked on my door instead (literally) and introduced me to a bunch more friends through her Bible study.

The first time I went, I wasn’t sure. My small, narrow mind had never been around a group of women from a Lutheran church. (If you know my background, you’ll understand this…no offense taken, I hope!) But after the second time, the walls started to come down, and I realized I’d been judgmental for far too long.

What I found when I let those walls crumble

? The most amazing group of women who are so Christlike…and real. I need real…not superficial.

This group of women, in every sense of the word, saved me. They scooted over and made some room at their table, accepting me for who I was, exactly where I was…which basically meant they were dealing with a lonely, emotional, sleep-deprived, new mommy in the middle of the biggest changes of her life. And they were cool with that.

And? They even took time to ask me about it all. That meant so much to me.

I so look forward to our study every week. Sometimes we spend more time talking and laughing than we do studying…and sometimes it’s the other way around. But we all need that laughter and conversation as much as we need to gain insight from God’s Word.

That’ s called being human.

I feel so blessed that, at a time where I had no idea what life would look like or how my intense need for social interaction would be met, God had it all figured out.

“Mel, you have no idea, but I’ve got some great people waiting for you…you’ve just got to trust Me.”

I’m so glad I did.

I think it’s funny that at Bible study today, a few women were talking today about reading my blog. (I am so glad someone read that ridiculous post about my hair a couple weeks ago. :)) I had already planned to blog about this today…and I almost changed my mind.

But when God does something cool…it’s worth writing about.

I love stepping back and seeing how God provided something I never thought He would.

I am beyond blessed… and so thankful.

Yeah, I love Thursdays. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, encouragement, friends

His

February 17, 2011 by · 1 Comment

Ever have one of those weeks?

Yeah, I’m in the middle of one.

It’s just been off…nothing completely horrible, just nothing really going right.

Maelie is sick…it’s just a cold, but I know she doesn’t feel well, and it hurts my heart that I can’t make it better.

The snow is melting.

Yay for warmer temperatures…but with everything so soggy and disgusting AND with no sun, the whole day just feels kind of blah.

Gray, gray, go away!

I feel like I haven’t been the best wife possible this week. I’m learning a lot about humility and extending mercy to my husband, leaving some room for him to be human. (I’m also thinking I need to revisit Micah 6:8 very soon…)

My dogs are driving me crazy. I love them…but sometimes their exuberance at ALL the wrong times (aka: Maelie’s naptime) makes me want to lock them in the bedroom. And Sammy fell through the ice on the river this morning…maybe Tobin can tell that story sometime.

:) Don’t worry, he’s fine. He just came home very, very WET!

And very, very happy…which is not exactly what we want…that dog has no fear.

Tobin and I are in the process of waiting on something huge. It’s something I want SO badly, and the reality is that there is nothing I can do about it right now. I need to just open up my hands… so please pray for us.

If He wants it for us, it will happen.

God is doing a lot in my heart right now, but I’m having a hard time finding the words to share that…and that scares me.

I’m a writer…and when I can’t find words, it just feels wrong.

I’m also a feeler and it’s easy for the drama queen tendencies to come out more often when my days aren’t bursting with joy.

I also think that feelers have more discouraging days because we have such high expectations for life…so really, there’s nothing wrong with life right now. (Although I could definitely use some more sun!)

A sweet blogger friend posted this passage a few days ago.

It’s one of my favorites, and reading it makes me feel like my Father wrote it just for me.

“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you.'”

Isaiah 43:1-4a (ESV)

So cool…I love His promises.

I. Am. His.

No matter what.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning

Filled

February 12, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So yesterday was hard…and honestly, it got more difficult even after I posted.

But that was yesterday.

Today His mercies are new, and I have seen them all over my day.

I love how things that seem so small turn into such blessings.

Like three hours spent with a friend helping her do some “mindless-but-necessary-and-important teacher stuff”. (And it really was important, so it’ s ok for me to

say that. :)) We h ad

some good conversations that were convicting for me…things that I really need to think ab out.

So I’m thankful.

Or like a comment from a new blogging friend who is going through some of the same things I am.

Or linking to an absolutely phenomenal post that so connected with me exactly where I am right now.

I wanted to copy and paste the entire thing here, but my husband informed me that it’s not a good idea in the blogging world to do that. So I’ll have to trust you, my wonderful readers, to head on over here and check it out. It is worth your time and will leave you smiling really, really BIG. đŸ˜€

Although Mela’s entire writing was great, there was one thing that just stuck with me.

And that? Is worth repeating.

“My fears could have counted me out.

I felt the enemy telling me to keep my head down, go through the motions and keep my mouth shut. But, as I pushed through, God’s plans, and the faith He provides, kicked in.”

Sometimes I feel like that.

Like so many aspects of life would be easier if I just gave into fear and didn’t share the things going on in my heart.

That’s why it was so hard to start my own blog…because I know myself.

I know the Mel inside who has so many passions and strong beliefs that have been kept silent because of fear. And I want to scream them all out at once, but I know that’s not practical at all, either.

:)

And anyway, some of you would probably run screaming.

So I’ll refrain, for now.

But I have so many hopes for this blog…not just because I want a ton of readers and hits. That’s not the point, although I would definitely take more blog traffic. :)

It’s because I believe I have a story…a lot of them, in fact. God is doing some big things in the middle of some crazy life changes.

I got one of the biggest compliments ever yesterday in an e-mail. A friend told me I had a true gift for writing.

I’m not sure anyone has ever told me that before.

And it meant so much to my heart. In a non-prideful way, it was exactly what I needed to hear to keep going.

So yesterday I was drained, but today I am filled.

And ready, once again, to write from the places in my heart that most people haven’t seen yet.

Thanks for reading.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, writing

Drained

February 11, 2011 by · 2 Comments

Do you ever have days

when you just feel drained?

Today was one of those days.

It wasn’t a bad day…I think I’m just feeling the effects of a late night, a busy morning/early afternoon, a nasty headache, and honestly…writing yesterday’s post exhausted me emotionally.

So today will be short and sweet, which isn’t always bad. :)

I’ve been trying to read through some of the Psalms

this week. On Monday I read Psalms 16 & 17 and found so many promises that connected with exactly where my heart is right now.

(Here are a few… you get my paraphrased versions.

:))

He is my Lord; I have no good thing apart from him.

The Lord is my portion.

I have a beautiful inheritance.

I have set him before me; because he is at my right hand, I won’ t be shaken.

He hides me in the shadow of his wings.

I will behold his face in righteousness; when I awake I will be satisfied with his likeness.

Love those two Psalms.

And I love how, even though I’m feeling drained, His precious promises fill me up.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning
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