Five-Minute Friday: Worship

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Worship

Music is in my soul…it’s always been there.

It whispers and sometimes dances loudly throughout my days…

Whether we’re going to the potty or reading stories or playing on swings, it seems there is always a song going on at our house.

And while I know that music isn’t the only way to worship, it’s a big part of how I do.

And because my days are spent with a sweet toddler girl, she is starting to reflect that. It usually comes in the form of Jesus Loves Me or You are My Sunshine or Bushel and a Peck or another of our bedtime songs.

I hear the joy in her voice, and even more in her heart, as she learns what it means to sing her heart out and worship, even if she doesn’t completely understand just yet.

It’s something that fills my heart and reminds me that the way I live speaks to her heart…And I need to shine Him always.

Perhaps one of my sweetest reminders happened just last night.

With hubby out of town, I had to take Mae to praise team practice with me.

During our second song, I heard a little voice. One that grew stronger and joined with our voices.

Hers.

She was singing, praising, worshiping…and it was beautiful.

She’s already starting to shine Him.

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Five Minute Friday

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Behind the Scenes: About a Friend

Sometimes I worry about the words I write…not so much what other people think of them, although that happens sometimes.

I mostly worry about them when I’m writing about someone…because I want my words to give a voice and a true reflection of what that person means to me.

Or, to us.

So today I’m pulling out the tissues…just because I know I’m going to need them…and telling you a story.

One that’s worth telling.

It’s about a friend.

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There are a lot of titles that this picture could have.

Mae’s First Day of School.

Maelie and Her Buddy From Across the Street Showing Off Their New Backpacks.

Two Days Before Brenton Left For College.

All of the above…

When we moved here three years ago, God knew what He was doing.

We didn’t.

We didn’t know north from south (I still don’t), left from right (especially when driving), or where to even begin looking for a house in this brand new state. (And, honestly, one I’d never imagined living in.)

Almost by accident, we stumbled on a Craigslist ad for a two-story, blue house in C’ville.

I actually told my husband I wasn’t interested in seeing it.

Thankfully, he insisted we look anyway.

Long story short, we moved in six days later…into a house in a neighborhood and town where we knew not a soul…

But we hoped it would become home, and it did.

And there are so many aspects that have helped make this place home, but today, this is about some special friends.

You see, there’s a family across the street…and it didn’t take long for us to connect with them. (Potentially because we always needed help moving the furniture we were buying? 😉 Kidding, kidding…)

No, we connected with Jonny, Kris, and their son, Brenton, within the first few weeks…and soon they weren’t just our neighbors; they had become our friends.

At the time, Brenton was fifteen and just a cool, high school sophomore. (No sarcasm here…we think he was pretty cool. :)) We’d see him here or there, and he would stop to talk to us sometimes.

He didn’t really connect with Maelie at the beginning, but that’s not a surprise. I don’t know many fifteen year old boys who make it a point to sit down on the floor and try to entertain a baby girl.

But around the time Mae turned one, Brenton started talking to her and playing with her more. One night his family came over for dinner, and she sat on his lap for a long time.

It wasn’t long before she was saying his name.

And a few months later, we had her bedroom windows open, which faced their house. She saw him come home from work and yelled as he was getting out of his car.

Brenton!

To her surprise?

Maelie!

Brenton!

Maelie!

It continued back and forth as he stood on their front porch and she pressed her nose against the screen in her window.

And that’s what continued for the next two years…little moments like that.

He’d come over and see her when she was playing outside.

Once they “shoveled” the sidewalk together.

She pushed him on the swing (really) the day he graduated from high school.

Little moments, nothing huge…but things that made an impact.

It’s no secret that Brenton became someone that Maelie really loves…and someone we love, too.

He was a high school student, busy with homework and friends and music, work and college searches. He didn’t have to take the time for a little girl…and honestly, no one would have blamed him if he didn’t.

But he did.

And he made a difference in her life…and ours, too.

This picture was taken last week, on Mae’s first day of PK3 and two days before Brenton left for college.

The two mamas behind their iPhones were both a little weepy for similar, but at the same time different, reasons…because seasons change.

Just like it was time for Mae to begin school (even if it’s just a few hours a week), it was time for Brenton to go off to college.

We said goodbye to him the next day, and the day after that, he left.

Mae is little and she doesn’t understand goodbyes yet…but I know she will miss him.

In fact, just a week ago, she looked at me. Mommy? Brenton’s my hero. And I think there’s some truth to that statement that she might not understand just yet.

Today I tear up when I look at this picture, but I know it’s one we’ll keep forever.

Thank you, Brenton, for taking the time to be part of Maelie’s life…it means more to us than you will ever know.

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It’s Tuesday and time for one of my favorite link ups over at my friend, Crystal’s space.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

If you’ve got some time today, hop over for the sweet and funny, the silly and sappy, and sometimes the tear-jerky stories that happen behind the camera lens. They’re told by some of my favorite writers and friends…and their words will make your day. :)

crystalstine.me

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On Accountability, Compassion, and Being a Playground-Mama: A Guest Post

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As the mama of a sweet, but spunky, three year-old, I know what it’s like to have what I like to call playground-mama moments.

Oh, and they come in all different shapes and sizes…and levels of embarrassment, too.

For instance, there might be the kind when I unleash my words at whoever-or-whatever may-or-may-not-be harming my child.

My first memorable one was around the time Mae was 18 months old.

A later walker, she was finally steady on her feet and running everywhere. She couldn’t get enough exploring, climbing, sliding, and jumping.

One day near Christmas that year, I took her to the playplace at the mall near our house. She was running around, squealing in all of her cuteness (and there’s a lot of it!), loving every second, when…Bam.

Like, physically, bam.

Some too-big-for-the-playplace boy came barreling around a corner, running right over her.

I ran to her, made sure she wasn’t hurt, and then I unleashed…

My Playground-Mama Fury…

Today I’m excited to be guest posting at my friend, Gindi’s space. Gindi is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, and she has been such an amazing encouragement to me in the last year. I’m honored to share my words on her blog today. You can go here to read the rest of my guest post!

Happy Monday, friends! :)

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Five-Minute Friday: Last

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Last

Oh, goodness.

Well, when I saw the prompt, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about…but it’s kind of one of those things I’d rather erase from my mind forever.

So we’ve all been there…gym class.

For the sake of this story, let’s go back to the *joyous* days of middle school.

It’s time to pick teams for scooter hockey. (Did anyone else play that?)

And there she sits…Mel. Awkwardly, criss-crossed legs, too short uniform shorts, wearing a red t-shirt, Mel.

Watching the others being picked one by one.

By one.

By one.

Until there’s only one.

And then Mr. Captain finally calls out her name, and she stands up.

Walks over to the team that has to take her but doesn’t really want her.

And all the joy of that day’s game is gone…because she feels like she doesn’t belong.

I’m grown up now, but occasionally those feelings still creep back…the kind that say,

You’re not good enough.

You don’t have a place here.

And maybe that’s why I’m so glad that even if I’m one of those who is picked last sometimes (and maybe we all are) that I’m still precious in His sight.

I belong.

We all do.

And if we were choosing teams for scooter hockey tonight, friends, I’d want you all on my team. 😉

Five Minute Friday

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Behind the Scenes: The Finish

Hey, friends…breakin’ the rules a bit today and posting a video.

(Special thanks to my friend, Chris, for shooting this gem, a word I use loosely here.) 😉

Raceway Wood 5k Finish from Tobin Schroeder on Vimeo.

I’ve been a runner for several years…runner, as in I’d go out and run/walk/run some more, maybe a mile or two at a time.

About two years ago, determined to get that pesky baby weight off, I decided to really run…and started training and doing 5k’s and worked on slashing my time down. I’m still no star, but I can pull around a 28:00 5k, sometimes-a-little-faster-sometimes-not, and I’m happy with that. Running is something I enjoy, and it’s a good way to have a little me time before the crazy of a day begins.

I crank up my playlist of worship music, sing along, spend some time in prayer…and though the hardest thing is to take the first ten steps, I am always, always glad I took the time for it each morning.

This past Saturday I ran a 5k at a place in our community called Raceway Woods. It was actually a famous racetrack several decades ago, and this 5k was the first organized race event there since the late 60’s. A few friends and I signed up, and since I’ve been running and training (well, for the most part) this summer…heck, why not?

Let me tell you one thing, friends.

Ignorance is bliss.

Well, as much bliss as can be found in a place that has so many hills.

I look decently strong at the end of this video, but what you can’t see is all…and I do mean ALL…of the behind the scenes.

The race itself was SO. HARD.

I had no clue…zero…what I’d signed up for, other than 3.1 miles. Maybe that was why I actually showed up for the race. 😉

The first mile was a breeze because it was downhill. I pulled it in 8:18…and my quickest pace on a 5k is around a 8:45…needless to say, that was good motivation to keep my feet moving.

At the beginning of the second mile, there were a few smaller hills…nothing horrible, nothing I loved. Just kind of in-between.

And then, toward the end of the second mile, I encountered it, huffing and puffing what felt like my last-ever-earthly breaths.

It stared me down like Mt. Everest towers over an ant.

I. Couldn’t. Run. It.

In fact, I’m not exactly sure how I made it up that hill, but I eventually found the top of it. (I think it took a long time, though…and potentially for part of that mountain climb, I even slipped into a semi-delusional state.)

And while mile #3 was nowhere near as hilly, it was mostly gravel.

Gravel = just not as fast.

So you see me pushing with all I have at the finish, but really, I just want this race to be over.

Over.

Finished.

Finito. (Is that a word? It is now. ;))

Two days later, I’m still feeling it. It’s mostly good pain, but it’s pain.

And maybe it’s not so much the pain of the actual race but the fact that last week was so up and down, just like that 5k. I had some really amazing highs (hello, getting published!) and some heartbreaking lows (maybe later).

Maybe it’s a good metaphor for me…this race.

Maybe it’s the reminder my heart needs that I can’t always call the shots and run a smooth, perfectly flat (or even downhill!) course. There are going to be those twists and turns and climbs that make me come to the point where I just have to push on in a strength that’s not my own.

Maybe it’s a reminder, too, that sometimes the pain we feel is good, even if it still hurts…because it’s a reminder that He heals.

And, that He can still work in spite of the pain.

I’m still in processing mode, but I don’t think it’s an accident that I ran that race on this particular Saturday.

My time was slower…and it took me a day or so to be ok with it.

31:27.

Thirty-one minutes and twenty-seven seconds of sweat and tears. (No blood this time, thankfully.)

And a reminder that He’ll stick with me and help me finish strong, no matter what the course looks like.

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! As usual, I’m hanging out at Crystal’s place, joining some of my favorite bloggers for our weekly link up.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to hop over for some funny and sweet stories that are guaranteed to give you a deeper glimpse into the moments that make up our days. Thanks so much for stopping by, friends!

crystalstine.me

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Five-Minute Friday: Small

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Small

Ok, a confession?

In this great, big, bloggy world…I sometimes feel so very small.

Tiny .

And often insignificant.

For almost two years, I wrote just to write…and while it was good, there was always that part of me that wished for a community, the kind that would read my words and invite me to read theirs.

I’m not even really sure how it happened, but one day that changed, and suddenly there was this beautiful and amazing community surrounding me.

It would take much longer than my five minutes to list them all, but they surrounded me with their hearts and words and prayers…and these beautiful ladies have become my family, though I’ve met very, very few of them in real life.

And it isn’t that I became big once I meant them.

It’s just that God used each of my sisters to remind me that I am a small part of it all…but an important part.

All of us…

We each have a voice, and that voice matters.

It may not be one that shouts from rooftops, gets a thousand retweets a day, or that many comments, either.

But it’s still important, and He can still use it to reflect His glory. 

Father, thank you that you can work through the small and insignificant…

Thank you that, despite me, you still choose to use me and my voice.

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Five Minute Friday

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Behind the Scenes: THE. VEST.

She stood on the American Idol stage in March of 2010.

Didi Benami.

RainbowVest

Oh, she had a good voice…and I noticed that a little as I heard her sing her heart out for all of America to hear and vote.

But mostly?

I was staring at her vest.

It was the most colorful, crazy, fun, piece of clothing that this hippie/boho-clothes lover has ever seen in her life.

I swooned.

It might be the only time I’ve. Actually. Really. And. Truly. Swooned. over an item of clothing.

Oh, I enjoy clothes.

But this vest was in a league of its own.

The next day I hopped online, just to see if anyone happened to love her vest as much as I did. It was that short, online, browsing session that confirmed two things for me.

First…Yep, a large portion of the female population of the world adored it.

And, second? Forever. 21.

I couldn’t get to their website fast enough.

I scoured the site and the internet until I found one in my size. (Let’s just say that the U.S. viewers…those lucky ducks…they got American Idol TWELVE WHOLE HOURS BEFORE I did…therefore, they got a huge jump on the cool-vest-shopping.) I found it on the Canadian Forever 21 site, and the price tag ran around $40. Plus shipping to the U.S.

Hubby said no.

He wasn’t mean about it…I mean, we’re talking $50ish.

We were living and working overseas and extra money wasn’t something we had a lot of.

I was pregnant, and my six-month belly was already popping waaaaaaaaay out. (A local thought I was at nine months around then, FYI.) 😉

And $50 from our small salary was a lot.

So I let a tear drip…and then I let it go.

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We moved back to the U.S. a few months later, had our baby girl, settled into life here.

But I never really forgot about the vest.

Occasionally I’d pop over to Ebay to see if one had miraculously surfaced. In a potentially bored (or desperate?) moment, I once even checked Craigslist.

I know.

HA.

HA.

😉

Once every few months…I’d look for a few minutes. Just to see if someone had gotten bored with their wardrobe and needed to rid themselves of the coolest vest the world has ever seen. :)

I always came up with zero search results.

Then, toward the end of June this year, it was about time to look again, so I did it.

Hopped over to Ebay…and GUESS? WHAT?

I’m pretty sure the neighbors heard my joy.

There it was!

In my size!

And, oh…the bidding war that was already happening. (With five days left, there were already ten bids on it.)

Clearly there are other people out there who agree that this vest is fantastic.

Hubby and I (ok, mostly hubby) are pretty good at figuring out Ebay. We don’t bid right away, we simply watch and attempt to trump at the end. I quickly did the math and realized that at the very moment the auction ended, I’d be in the car headed to Iowa.

And so I asked him to please-please-oh-pretty-please watch the auction for me and do our usual, trump-all-the-bidders, thing at the end.

I told him how much of my birthday money I was willing to spend on it. (I’m just throwing out here that it wasn’t that much…because I don’t want you to think I throw money around like crazy. :))

He set a reminder in his phone, I left a few days later for Iowa.

I was so busy catching up with my dear friend early into the wee hours of the morning that I actually forgot about it. (I know.)

The next day, I shot him a quick text.

Remember the vest?

Guess what, friends?

He. Remembered. It…

And? He. Got. It.

:)

I arrived home a few days later, and there it was on my dining room table in all of its rainbow glory. (Pardon the drama. ;))

I waited until our anniversary last weekend to wear it for the first time. :)

I love it.

I know there are probably a lot of people out there who look at it and think, Wowza, that’s kind of crazy. I’d never wear that.

And that’s ok.

It’s totally cute.

It’s totally me.

And it makes me break into a silly, cheesy grin (possibly accompanied by a song…) when I see it. 😉

And I have the sweetest-ever hubby, one who went out of his way to make sure I could have a completely unnecessary, once-in-a-liftetime, in-his-words, psychodelic…vest.

TheVest

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Happy Tuesday, friends! This is one of my favorite parts of the week…the Behind the Scenes link up at my sweet friend, Crystal’s space.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to stop by and read about the crazy and fun, the sweet and sentimental, (and sometimes the vests!) of life behind the camera lens. The writers are some of my favorite people, and I know you’ll love their stories! :)

crystalstine.me

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Five-Minute Friday: Lonely

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Lonely

It was one of those days.

The kind when she would pack her bag and trudge to school, not sure who might be there to greet her.

Say hello.

Notice her.

Something. Anything.

And, like so many other days just like it…the loneliness abounded.

And she built a wall around her heart, wondering if anyone would ever want to tear it down.

Sometimes, friends, I let myself think back to that time in my life when I was so lonely.

It was hard and is not a time I revisit often.

But, truth?

I think we all have those lonely moments.

I still do, sometimes.

The challenge for me now…and it really is a challenge sometimes…is to not let them be a bad thing.

Yes, this extrovert thrives SO. MUCH. when she is around her friends and those who love her.

But there can be so much beauty in the lonely, too…the kind of beauty that comes with allowing myself to be wrapped in my Father’s arms.

When I let Him take my loneliness and teach me to rest in Him and the fact that He is enough.

I often just look at all He’s done…all He’s given…the ways He has blessed me with So. Much. Community…and I smile.

Yes, there are lonely days.

But there are so many blessings, even then.

MomsBibleStudyI love this picture of my amazing Bible study friends…truly a gift from God. They’ll never know how much they mean to me. :)

Five Minute Friday

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Behind the Scenes: On Anniversaries and Selfies

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Just throwing this out there…

I’m not a selfie taker, typically.

I’ve got nothing against those of you who can magically hold out your iPhone and, almost instantaneously, snap the most perfect, flattering, photo of your gorgeous face and hair and then post it to facebook for all the world to see.

I’m just not that person, usually, but it’s all good.

I can appreciate your gifts.

Anyway. 😉

So we went out on a date to celebrate our 11th anniversary on Sunday night. (A day late…BOO on migraines. Yay for babysitters who can do a last-minute switch on nights.) 😉

As most of our anniversary dates tend to be, this one didn’t turn out quite like we envisioned. (If I told you some of the unique ways we’ve spent our anniversary…let’s just say it would be an entertaining series of blog posts. ;))

However, that’s ok…we’re learning to embrace the surprises that come along.

So we started our big night out at Costco.

Yes, we did.

We got ice cream and then walked around and bought some cleaning supplies that we needed because, let’s face it, the key to a happy marriage is making sure the bathrooms are clean, right? 😉

Then we made our way over to a restaurant we’ve driven by a hundred times. And every time we’ve driven by, I’ve said, We need to go there for dinner sometime.

So we did.

It was this little Mexican place, El Molino, and while it’s not in my top ten, the green salsa was pretty awesome, as were the enchiladas. I’d go back. :)

The service was super fast, and after dinner, we were faced with almost two hours before we told the babysitter we’d be home.

What to do, what to do?

Hmmmm…remember that time three years ago when we had a four week-old and were looking for a place to live and we saw a bunch of houses, some that were in slightly sketchy areas of town? Let’s go find them!

Guys, we totally did.

Pulled the GPS up on the phone and drove all over town. (Technically, all over two towns.)

We managed to find the first house we looked at, and the sight of that one only made me breathe thanks over and over that God had other plans for us.

We think we found another one (but the new owners had painted it rusty-icky-brown…really?!), and we’d liked this one a lot, but it didn’t work out. That’s more than ok…we love where we are. :)

And after that we were kind of over the whole, let’s-go-find-the-houses-we-didn’t-end-up-renting, thing. (Especially because I felt like a total creeper… ;))

So we went to Dunkin’ Donuts. We wanted coffee because we just did.

Or, maybe I did.

That’s because I’m breathing. 😉

Our mistake was that we went INTO the store instead of just doing drive-thru. So, of course, we walked out with donuts, which we totally needed after ice cream and too many chips-and-salsa-plus-dinner.

It is a good thing we went in, though, because it gave us the perfect opportunity to document our adventure-filled, so-not-predictable, anniversary date With. A. Selfie.

Complete with a very-slight, sneak peek of my, in-my-husband’s-words, psychodelic vest.

The same vest he went practically-to-the-moon-and-back to get for me. (Thinking that might be another post in itself, though…come back next week?  Trust me, it’s worth it. ;))

In all of this, selfie-pic-taking-included, I smiled.

We haven’t had an easy road. This marriage thing has been a lot of things…and easy hasn’t been one of them.

But the smiles in this selfie? They’re real.

For all of the hard moments, the days when we wondered whether we should even keep doing this anymore…this year.

This moment.

I’m thankful.

We know it’s worth it and that it always will be.

I love this guy, I do.

I’m so blessed to walk this thing called life with him by my side.

And I could gush and gush here, but I hope the smiles say it all instead.

Here’s to selfies that document what words often can’t.

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On Tuesdays, I link up at my friend, Crystal’s place, for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time and stop by for some of my favorite reads of the week written by my sweet, blogging sisters. They’ll make you laugh, cry, and remind you of how good life is and how fun the stories can be behind the camera lens. :)

Thanks for stopping by today, friends!

crystalstine.me

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Five-Minute Friday: Story

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Story

Messy.

Ugly.

Unloved.

Unwanted.

For years, this is how I thought my story would end up.

For years, I lived with the belief that I was these things.

Oh, how wrong I was.

You see, He was using those moments, those tears to write my story.

He took the ugly pieces, the messy ones, the ones that made me feel like I had no place at all…and He wove them together into something I could have never pieced together on my own.

usoutside

He gave me a man (the one I celebrate 11 years with on Saturday!) to love me and take care of me.

He gave us a sweet, precious, gift of a daughter.

He gave us community and family and friends…a place for our story to be written.

A place to belong.

He’s led us step by step…sometimes with just enough light for the next step, but always leading.

My Father?

He’s the best author.

Because He can take any story…any storyand turn it into a beautiful one.

And no matter how long this chapter is, or where the next one lies, I know something.

I know that it will be good because He is Good.

Five Minute Friday

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