So, in general, I’m a pretty upbe

at person.

I think that’s mostly because I’m an extrovert, energetic, and tend to do crazy things that most people don’t do. Those things (aka: energy) often translate as being happy/upbeat.

I guess that’ s a good thing.

Tonight I was chatting with a friend about happiness, and a few thoughts stuck in my mind. So much that you get to read about being happy instead of a week in pictures…we’ll save that one for tomorrow.

😉

For a long time I struggled finding contentment in day to day life.

This happened mostly once I got married.

Life settled into a routine, and I needed things that would keep it interesting. I guess I get bored easily? A few years later, we headed to Indonesia, which definitely kept life entertaining… and full of surprises, so it was never boring.

Then we moved back…had a baby, moved to a new place, basically started over…and had a year full of change.

Now we are just days away from closing on this house.

It’s exciting, overwhelming, and slightly scary to think about such a commitment.

This is going to be life. And don’t misunderstand me…I love my life.

But sometimes, on those boring days when it seems that routine is trumping fun and spontaneity, it’s easy for me to slump into a short depression.

I’m realizing now, more than ever, that on some days, happiness will need to be a choice I make.

And even if I’m not feeling it, I’ll need to choose to be joyful because of the many ways that I’ve been blessed. And on those happy days when the joy is just bursting, I need to soak up every second of it…and probably spread it to others. (Which usually happens, whether they want it or not!)

I also realized that part of happiness is being content with the stage of life I am in.

I’ve had a few good cries lately…weeping.

Literally. (My eyeliner ran…the stuff that lasts all day and can usually handle a cry or two.)

I saw some pictures from Indo that just tugged on my heart, and I sobbed over those people and places that were such an integral part of my life. Tears fell for a time in my life that I can never have again.

The time that was so good, so hard…and so full of memories.

Some days I want Indonesia back…but I still want my life now, too. Funny how we always want more…it seems that way, anyway.

I don’t apologize for crying over Indo…but I do know that I need to appreciate and love each piece of life while choosing to live in the present. Maybe for me, that means not looking at so many pictures of then and focusing on taking snapshots of now. Maybe it means not writing about it so much. (Though I am already working on my book on Indonesia, so we’ll see how that goes.) It definitely means focusing on the many blessings that surround me.

I’m ending this post even though it seems slightly incomplete.

Maybe I’ll finish it another day.

Just my thoughts and where I am tonight.

Love you all.