Five-Minute Friday: Grace

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Grace

JulieMelKristin(thanks, Julie, for this one!) :)

I spent last weekend with some of the most amazing sisters ever. (To be fair, I don’t have any blood-related sisters, and I always wanted one. Or thirteen. So I like to think that God is just making up for it now with an abundance of them. ;))

I had looked forward to this conference for so long, and there were so many necks I couldn’t wait to hug. So many cups of coffee I wanted to drink while seated at a little table with friends over long, deep conversations.

Some of it happened…as much could be squeezed into an already jam-packed schedule.

And some of it didn’t.

There were some of you, beautiful sisters, who got a quick hello and a hug, and while I know that can convey something, I know how I wanted to find time for so much more.

photo

This week? Well, it’s been a lesson in giving myself grace.

Of accepting that sometimes, no matter how we plan things, they just don’t quite work out like we want them to. And the simple fact that sometimes there’s not enough time.

My Father…He’s been whispering this thing of Grace to me over and over in the last few days. Reminding me that it’s ok. 

That community can connect and love even despite distance and lack of sit-down-in-person cups of coffee.

If you and I had a chance to meet last weekend, I am So. Very. Glad. Y’all are beautiful and treasured…and I’m not just saying that.

This community? I never knew the magnitude of its impact until the hugs started happening and the tears started to fall and I could see it all for myself.

CrystalMel

And if we didn’t connect in person, pull up a chair and we’ll keep talking, keep loving…through computer screens and twitter and our blogs. And someday soon, I hope we’ll sit down for that coffee at a cute little table in a corner.

Grace.

Grace in what happens, grace in what doesn’t.

So, so blessed by grace.

Love to each of you, whether you are part of my (in)RL community, my online one, or both. I’m so thankful to have you in my life. :)

Smilebooth

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

This?

photo-1

This is cake.

It’s my love language. (Well, one of many.) 😉

And this particular piece of cake? It was eaten on Sunday, late morning.

After my roomies had left.

After I’d said (and cried over) a lot of goodbyes.

After I’d made a quick jaunt to this sweet little coffee shop with a dear friend.

I just needed a little time to think…about an amazing weekend spent surrounded by so many of my beautiful sisters.

Well, I also needed something amazing to eat as I attempted to cram all of those sweet, awesome, swag goodies into my suitcase. Trust me, friends…when they tell you to bring an extra suitcase, Just. Do. It.

Says the girl who checked a 50.5 pound bag and toted a way-too-heavy carry-on through the airport. 😉

Anyway, back to Allume.

Amazing.

Life-changing.

Love-led.

Spirit-filled.

It was overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming.

And, honestly, I can’t begin to process it all just yet. (Hence, the reason this post is #1 of about 212…)

Because I’ll want to tell you about how the country of Uganda wiggled its way into my heart, probably forever.

Or how I was blessed to meet with an agent and take another step with my book.

About how I met some truly fabulous women who are just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

And those posts will come, but they’re not quite here yet…I’m still processing, still smiling, and a teeny tiny part of my heart is grieving that the weekend is over. Yep, still rockin’ the ENFP all over the place. 😉

But I can begin with cake.

And?

This.

GSDT Allumephoto credit: Melissa Aldrich, Quiet Graces

My beautiful sisters.

This group of women who daily inspire me in my walk with Jesus. They live with passionate abandon, they prayer-cover those who struggle, they give an abundance of hugs, they laugh loud and love even louder.

They listen to my stories and share theirs with me.

We do life together…and even if it’s more through computer screens than at coffee tables, I will hold them in my heart forever.

More stories on the way…probably 211 of them. 😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Together

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. And this week?

Insanely. Awesome.

I’m actually doing a live FMF in a room with a bunch of my sweet sisters who have all come together for Allume, an amazing conference that is already blessing my socks off.

So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Together

So here’s the thing.

This group…my community…we’ve been together for a long time. We’ve been together in the way we share our stories and our laughs, our tears, our prayers…

Our hearts.

Through screens and words and pictures.

For months I have looked forward to finally being together in real life with them…to hug necks and let the tears drip and let them know what they mean to this girl who has fumbled for community for way too long.

Now we’re together…in the same room.

It’s like a big, happy-dance-all-over-the-room dream come true…I kind of can’t believe that I get to be with each of you, letting you know just how much each of you mean to me.

The community that occupies a giant piece of my heart is finally an in real life one.

I kind of feel like dancing…

Anyone for cartwheels? 

😉

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

MaeMommyHopscotch

I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her. 

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Behind the Scenes: An Indonesia Moment

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I let myself go back tonight.

It’s not a place I go often, but I do revisit once in awhile, whether through pictures, video, memories, even reading a random book sent to us by our organization before we even began our journey.

There are times when it’s good for the soul…and just plain good for my heart…to remember.

I know it’s something I’ll never have again.

But I do like to have those moments when Indonesia feels so real again…so close I can almost taste the nasi uduk and gepuk or even the pisang goreng. I can hear the call to prayer, the constant honk of car horns, the little beep of a passing motorbike. I can even smell the not-always-wonderful scents that permeated Jl. Cihampelas during a Saturday drive to CiWalk.

Sometimes I worry that the memories will fade…not just in my heart, but the hearts of others. I think of our sweet pembantu and wonder if she will ever hug my daughter. If we will ever hug her again.

It hurts sometimes.

And tonight, well…I knew I’d go sometime.

I went to the cupboard…and I dug through and found the very last packet of Indonesian coffee, one I’ve literally been saving for a night when I knew I’d want it. (And, clearly, patience was my shining virtue because the expiration date…which I totally ignored…was approximately a year ago. Give or take four months.) 😉

I plopped on the couch…and as I sipped and savored and remembered the many, many mornings when I’d begin a day of teaching 4th grade, coffee mug in one hand, drinking this exact beverage…it was like the memories and moments flooded back into my heart.

It felt like a beautiful, wonderful lifetime ago and at the same time, just a tiny blink spanning then and now, too.

I guess that’s the way it is with memories we hold so deeply…they feel like forever snapshots, ones that we tie into that corner, hoping that our hearts will always be strong enough to hold on.

And as the happy tears fill my eyes…but they only brim, they don’t drip…I give thanks for these moments.

The kind when I can smile and know that it was good.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Ordinary

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Ordinary

What do you want to do today, girlie?

It’s a question I ask her often…and I usually get the same response.

I want to play at home!

This sweet little girl…as much as she loves going to school and play dates and park fun and adventures…she revels in the ordinary magic of a day.

Her favorites?

Coloring together on the back porch.

Playing in the sandbox.

Swinging or sliding or kicking the hot pink and orange ball around the side yard.

Hide and seek.

Walking the neighborhood and visiting friends we love.

Stories, songs, and princess-playing.

Coffee dates and chats with friends. (True.) 😉

Sometimes I wonder if I’m giving her a life that’s too ordinary…and then I smile.

This little girl has learned the value of finding the magic and wonder in the little moments that I so often take for granted.

Dear, sweet girl…thank you for finding a reason to celebrate each moment. You know what? I celebrate YOU. Even in the most ordinary of moments.

Because you?

You are extraordinary…and my life is so much more just that because you are in my days.

MaelieSilly

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: When You Just Need a Refill

There’s a scene that greets me every morning, usually before six, that looks something like this.

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For a coffee guzzler drinker like me, this particular scene could be considered tragic…because it means I actually need to get up out of my chair, leave my blanket behind, and shuffle to the kitchen for a refill. Yes, I’m freezing in the morning and am usually wrapped up as much as possible while I do my Bible study… 😉 

That refill? It’s just what needs to happen because I know it’s not good for anyone…and I do mean anyoneif I choose to face by day with just one cup of caffeine. 😉

Maybe that was a bit of a stretch…but it’s so fitting for where my heart sits right now.

I am totally that empty coffee cup, the one with just the last few drops left…the one that is begging for a refill, for the good of everyone.

Friends, my words are gone, and I feel like I’m running on the fumes.

It’s been that way for the last few weeks as I’ve tried to write, tried to share…and nothing comes.

It frustrates me…I compare myself with others who are so good, with those who manage to string such amazing words together for days in a row, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.

Which also tells me something…that, potentially, I’ve found too much of my identity in being a writer and not enough in being His daughter.

So there are facts. A lot of them.

I’m writing a book. Actually, it’s written. (I’ll still shout out an Amen! for that one. It feels good. ;))

But, more accurately, I’m writing a book proposal. (Or trying to.) Yep, this wordless thing also carries over to proposals, and I’m currently staring down a 15-day deadline. (Double yikes.)

The timing for this whole where-are-my-words? thing isn’t great. All year I’ve been looking forward to this amazing blogging conference…the one where I will have a chance to learn from and connect with so many awesome women and friends, in real life, that up until now I only know through computer screens. There’s also the opportunity to talk with publishers…kind of a necessary step toward becoming published. And here I am, throwing myself into a mix of writers when I don’t feel like one myself.

I know it’s a lie…one that the enemy desperately wants me to believe. One I can’t choose to believe. I can’t.

Because there’s also Truth.

A lot of it.

The truth is that I’m a bit empty…in a dry and desperately-needing-a-refill season. The kind where I spend more time soaking up than pouring…and though it’s hard, I have to continually tell myself that it’s not bad.

The truth is also that there are times…like now…when He asks me to sit at His feet and just be. To wait and listen and still praiseand be filled with Truth and His love and rest in the fact that I’m His daughter and that His plan for me will be fulfilled when it’s time. 

I know this time of filling is so important…but it’s not what I had planned on for this season.

I had planned. No surprise to Him, though.

So I got up again this morning. Shuffled to the kitchen. (Yep, totally wrapped in my blanket…the turquoise and brown zebra print one, since I know you care about such details… ;)) Made the coffee. Sat down with my first mug and open my Bible. It’s 6:05 a.m. and the scene above is staring me down right now.

I think it’s time for a refill.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Wishing you all a great day! If you’ve got time, I know you’ll love the stories my friends are sharing today! You can click on the link below to find them. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

Hey, friends. :)

Just up front, I don’t know why I feel the need to explain this, but I do. It’s not me defending myself…I promise. Just a this-is-why explanation. With a cute picture at the end. 😉

So, it’s October…and I have to admit that I’ve been waiting for this month for a loooooong time. Not only do I love fall and pretty much all things pumpkin spice (who doesn’t?!), but it’s also the month when I finally get to wrap my arms around the necks of so many amazing women who have walked this dreaming and writing journey with me in the last year.

I almost want to actually get up and do a cartwheel in the living room, but it’s early, and I’m tired, so I’ll refrain from that…but I will let out a virtual

Squeeeeeeeee!

Thanks for letting me do that. 😉

This is also the month when a lot of my blogging community is participating in the Nester’s 31 Day’s series.

I love the idea…blogging for 31 days (the entire month) about a specific topic. (I actually did my own version of it a couple years ago.) And I’ve gotta be honest here…I’m dying to participate.

But I know me…and I know my current season. I’m very aware of a certain book proposal and chapter edits that are hanging over my head. (Good stuff but time consuming, to say the least.) I’ve gotta keep my head on straight (haha…does that ever happen?! ;)) and focus on the dream and taking the opportunities that are there…I might not have them again.

And?

I’ve also got this great little girl…and the days are slipping by.

Too quickly.

To the point where I want to run upstairs and interrupt her beautiful sleep at 6 a.m. just so I can hold her in my arms before she gets any bigger.

This season, God is also calling me to something great beyond writing: He’s calling me to embrace being a mommy completely.

I don’t say no well.

But I said no to blogging 31 days…not because I think it’s a bad idea. (In fact, I think it’s an awesome one!) But because, this season, He’s got greater things for me.

Things like…

...stepping away from the computer and going to the park.

...leaving my phone in the house and going outside to swing with my girl.

…putting down my Kindle and picking up a story to read with her.

…Pounding out a book proposal and editing like crazy when she’s sleeping. (Had to throw that in…it’s my reality. :))

All of those things.

Plus…taking the time to skip down sidewalks while holding a handful of flowers.

maeskipping

Ok, ok, maybe I’ll leave that to her…but I might grab her hand and join her one of these days! 😉

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time today and stop by if you can…the hearts of these beautiful women who share their stories will encourage you as you read what’s happening behind the camera lens. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig