Chitter Chatter Late on a Saturday Night

October 29, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

It’s been a weird day.

Weird in a not-so-good way, so I’m very thankful that today is almost over and I get

to start again tomorrow.

Thanks, God, for your new mercies. I will be intentionally soak

ing them all in tomorrow.

To be honest, I would love to have a virtual coffee date with you all right now. Unfortunately, I’ve reached my max for caffeine with an Americano and a Diet Coke, both since 2:00 today, and I need to sleep tonight. Enough said. :)

Instead, we can just talk while I finish up my late-night, day-off snack of tortilla chips and melted, buffalo flavored Velveeta. Seriously, it’s good, but I was also raised on processed cheese, so I think it always tastes good…I think certain friends I have who were raised on dairy farms would disagree with my thinking.

😉 I will tell ya, though, that over in Indonesia, I missed Velveeta so badly that I once had a friend bring me a huge two pound block of it when she came back after Christmas one year.

It was glorious. And I didn’t share…at all.

I’ve been trying to pull three mile runs in the mornings when I go out.

That’s almost double what I was running for so long that it feels like a lot. The good news is, I think I might actually be ready to run this 5k next weekend. I’m not looking forward to running in the cold…or being cold, in general, but I do like the whole chocolate everywhere thing. I WILL run for chocolate.

:)

And as a bonus, since packet pick-up is only Thursday and Friday, and since I also have praise team Thursday night, Tobin took Friday off.

We’re gonna trek downtown, pick up my stuff, then go check out an Indonesian restaurant…possibly the only one in all of Chicago. Bring on the sate and rendang and pisang goreng…woohoo!

I could not be more excited about Indonesian food.

And I NEVER got excited about it when we lived there. Funny.

While I’ve tried to not obsess on the blog about weight loss, today was monumental.

I’m a pound UNDER my pre-baby weight.

I saw a number on the scale today that I thought I might never see again…and I loved it so much that I went for a three mile run…and then ate a bagel. (It was worth it, since I know you’re all wondering!) And tomorrow night at my weekly workout with friends, we’re gonna celebrate with these.

If you’ve never tried one, you should. For an energy bar, they’re pretty amazing. And I like that they’re not full of grainy stuff…I don’t feel like I’m eating cardboard.

So I love my daughter.

Really. But somewhere between Tuesday and today, she decided that one hour naps AND shorter nights are enough for her. She has been giving me about an hour nap each afternoon and sleeping about an hour less at night, too. I am not sure what to think of this… it kinda makes me grumpy if I think about

it too long. I always enjoyed my afternoons when she was napping because I could catch up on blogging and squeeze in some strength training and shower before she even woke up.

Life as we know it has changed.

Thankfully, she is generally JOYful just to run through the house and get into things. I love that about her, minus the getting into things part.

😉 And just look at what she built all by herself today…she truly amazes me. :)

Every year I spend $1 in the Target Dollar Section.

(Ok, ok, so I spend a LOT more than a dollar every year, but THIS dollar is for something specific…) I joke that it’s the best dollar I ever spend…but that might be true. I buy a little day planner that’s the perfect size…I write my life in it and take it everywhere I go. I actually bought one at Michael’s a couple weeks ago because Target didn’t have theirs out yet, but as I was wandering through the Dollar Section today, I saw this.

And I totally spent another dollar because it’s way too perfect.

Think God is trying to remind me of something

?

After a day like today, JOY is hard. My heart is not ok, and I’ve cried more than I want to admit. I feel broken, I feel lost…and the only thing remotely salvaging tonight is the fact that I know God is there…and that He’s able to fix broken and find lost.

And His mercies are new Every.

Single. Morning.

Praise Him for that.

I need to wind this up…long, emotional days require extra sleep, and you don’t need to ask me twice to sleep. 😉

G’nite.

Sig

Filed Under: coffee, just life, Maelie, random, running, where I am

October Thunder

October 23, 2011 by · 2 Comments

God gave me a little gift tonight.

Thunder.

Oh, I do love a good thunderstorm.

So I’m curling up on the couch under a blanket and having a little chat with you all before I hit the hay way too late.

Again.

God has been impressing on my heart the word obsession lately, and it’s challenged me to think through the things I obsess over and whether they are worthwhile. That will probably be a blog post for another day…but let’s just say that

it’s making me re-evaluate my idea of balancing things.

I made a small-world connection last week at Firefly with a guy who is shooting a movie, and he wanted to use the exterior of our house for a few scenes. He shot a couple of them today, and it was cool to kind of see what goes on with something like that.

In chatting with him after that, I found out that he graduated from college with one of my good friends that I taught in Indonesia with.

Small world just became microscopic.

Goodness, connections are funny things, huh?

Sundays just make me really happy.

I love going to our church…and while no service is perfect with a 16 month-old, I always leave feeling challenged and encouraged.

This Sunday made me even happier because after Mae was down for her afternoon nap, I wrote my Patch article and took a nap myself.

It was wonderful, and I fell into such a deep sleep that I had a very hard time waking up.

I had the sudden realization today that next month is November, and I’m not sure what to do with that.

I suppose I should look on the bright side and realize that I can decorate for Christmas…I really love putting up the tree and decorations.

And…ahem…eating the cookies.

😉

The thunder is still going strong outside, and I’m tempted to keep writing, but I know I need to crash if I’ m going to get up for a run in the

morning.

I’m hoping it will continue for a bit longer because, in my opinion, there’s nothing better th an f

alling asleep during a thunderstorm.

I wish they could happen every day.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: just life, random, where I am

Finding JOY

October 21, 2011 by · 1 Comment

I had a really rough day yesterday.

The kind of day that, when faced with blogging at the end of it, I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t write, I couldn’t think…so I wrote fluff.

Like, real, stupid fluff. Very rarely does the quality of my writing stoop to that level.

Last night when finally got into bed, I felt my fingers grasp the small silver circle I wear on a chain around my neck.

It’s simple. It contains the stamp of a small flower and three letters.

J.O.Y.

I wear it in memory of my friend. I wear it to remind myself of the JOY I have because I have a Father Who loves me and values me. I wear it to help myself remember to choose that JOY each and every moment.

And I have to be honest with you that last night I wanted to do anything but choose it.

In fact, I would have been happier to throw it all out the window.

It wasn’t a good day. It started off fine, but by afternoon, it wasn’t so good.

I couldn’t string a sentence together to s

ave my life. There’s no post for the Patch this week.

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I felt worthless.

Tobin and I had a pretty good argument which ended, as usual, with me in tears. I got to leave for grocery shopping with eyes so puffy and red that I felt everyone staring at me.

It ended up being a late night, and by the time I literally crawled under the covers, all I wanted to do was forget about everything, including the JOY I’m supposed to have.

That JOY…that choice.

The one that says, I’m going to make the best of this and be happy with life no matter what I’m given.

And that’s when I thought about her…that girl. Gitz, who was so joyf

ul. I didn’t visit her condo, the one she stayed in 24/7 for years. I didn’t ever meet her in person, only in the words of life that she spoke through her blog. I didn’t read her complaints… I read her joyful words.

In one of her posts, she wrote the following, and I thought through those words last night.

A reader asked her, “How do you manage to stay so positive

? So happy? Don’t you ever just get really mad?”

Here’ s her an

swer.

I suppose the cop out answer, while true, is that I just don’t have the energy to be mad. Seriously. It takes so much effort and energy to wallow. And it’s not any fun.

I live 99.8% of my time alone, and if anger was all I had to
live with I would lose my mind.

I think, for me, it has been about learning to want what He wants for me more than what I want for myself. It’s a tall order and I don’t say that flippantly. But my joy has truly come from Him finding His joy in me rather than me finding my joy in what I desire.

It doesn’t mean I don’t long for different, it just means I find peace in fulfilling rather than understanding.

In the knowledge that this life isn’t about me, it’s about Him.

The thing I try to remind myself of, as I am without all the things that I wish I had to make me happy, is that my biggest need is Him. More than I need to be outside in the fresh air, more than I need to move without pain, more than I even need Dad… I need His will to be done in my life whether it is comfortable or not. There is not one thing that feels comfortable about my world right now, but I need Him more than I need to change my circumstances.

It’s still brutally hard. I have to remind myself of these facts every day. It doesn’ t always come easily.

But it doesn’t make the truth any less true.

And the truth is that I can choose the joy.

So I do.

This morning I woke up and went for my run. Two miles in the somewhat-freezing cold, and I smiled the whole time.

I came home, got my girl ready for the day, and we headed to church to help with something. After, we went out with two friends who always make me smile…and it was good.

My heart was happy, and the truth is, I know that every day won’t be like this…but there is still so much JOY in my life around me, even on those days when I can’t see it.

But if Sara could find it, I know I can.

I miss her. But I also know that, at this very moment, she is more JOYful than she’ s ever been.

And that’ s pretty cool.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am

Missing Moments

October 19, 2011 by · 2 Comments

It’s barely early afternoon, and I already know I won’t be getting the Mommy Award today.

Tuesdays and Wednesdays are busy…and stressful. Because I leave for work at 4:30, I have to make sure that Mae and Tobin have something to eat for dinner…and pb & j is really only ok every other week or so.

They like REAL dinner…can’t say I blame them too much. 😉

I’ve also been slightly procrastinating a blog post that I need to finish by tonight to keep myself on track…and I haven’t found the time to string the words together yet.

And in between getting all of that ready and spending all day with my girl, I’ve found myself losing my patience with her 

so much more quickly.

I think part of it is Mae’s age, but I KNOW that most of it is me.

Mae is dying to be close

to me all the time and wants to help me do everything. Her idea of being helpful

? Throwing EVERYTHING into the kitchen garbage.

No matter what I try, she just can’t seem to understand that not everything belongs in the trash can…she just loves to “help”.

It’s almost as cute as it is annoying, and I truly think she’s trying to be helpful, but after fishing things out of it over and over all morning, I finally lost it.

And I yelled.

The look on her face said everything, and I knew I’ d completely messe

d up.

I took a few deep breaths, counted, and went over to her.

I love kids and how quickly they forget.

She held her arms up, and when I picked her up she gave me a hug. I sat down with her on the couch and talked to her about staying out of

the garbage.

I know she doesn’t get it yet.

But that’ s not the point.

I also asked her to forgive me and prayed with her.

I know she doesn’t get that yet, either, but that’s really not the point.

I’m finding that on busy days when I have an agenda and so many things I feel like I need to accomplish, I miss out on the moments that make up a day.

My girl is 16 months old, and she’s already growing up too fast.

She’s down for a nap now, and she’ll probably wake up just before I leave for work.

I’ll get a few minutes with her, and then I won’t see her again until tomorrow morning.

Another day gone.

And how many of those moments did I take today? I sat down to read a few books with her, I played the stacking toy with her, I took a (very, very) short walk outside with her.

But I don’t w ant to miss

those precious hugs, those sweet giggles, those times I can’t get back…any of them…because I’ m too focused on

making dinner or finishing a blog post or making a grocery list.

I don’t want to miss a day.

A moment.

A second.

Tobin and Maelie might have to order a pizza more often, but at least I’ll know that I spent my days in the best possible way I could.

Because I didn’t miss any moments.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Maelie, where I am

Dancing in the Rain

October 18, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

It hasn’t been a horrible few weeks at all.

In fact, life is really good, and we KNOW we’re blessed.

It’s just that sometimes the little things start to get overwhelming, and then suddenly…

WHOOSH!

The rain just starts to fall.

It’s been a long six weeks for Tobin.

We were eagerly counting down to today, hoping that his cast would come off. Today at the doctor, he was told at least two more weeks.

Thankfully, everything’ s in place.

No surgery.

We (primarily Tobin) have spent a lot of our extra time lately looking for/ at used cars.

We’re thankful that when we returned to the States a year+ ago that we could buy a reliable minivan. We are so, so grateful for that, and for the last year, we’ve been able to get by with just one car thanks to our incredible friends loaning us their extra car for a significant amount of time and beca

use Tobin could bike to work in the summer.

Now that the weather is getting colder and there are more places that Maelie and I can/have to be, it’s just becoming necessary to find another vehicle. (Read: cheap, old, point-a-to-point-b car.)

That’ s not a

s ea

sy as it sounds. In f act, thinking of it these d

ays gives me a headache.

This morning, our most promising one fell through…it needed more work than it was worth.

I’m really trying to focus on the silver lining here.

Though we are becoming desperate for another vehicle, the last thing we want is a car that’s going to drain our bank account.

My get-out-of-the-house job is kind of up in the air right now…because the owners aren’t sure what’s happening with the shop.

I’m really trying to have a positive attitude either way, but sometimes it’s just nice to know what’s going to happen, isn’t it? Yeah. I’m actually thinking of hopping over to Starbucks and working a couple mornings a week  there…we’ ll see what happens.

No matter what, I’m giving thanks that Tobin has a good job, and that we’ll be ok if I don’t work.

I’ve really tried to be intentional about choosing JOY lately…both because I know God commands us to be joyful in all things, but also because I want to live that kind of life, just as my sweet friend Sara did.

Some days I’m going to flail and flounder, but I really do want to learn to choose that JOY…and not only to choose it but to live it.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Sig

Filed Under: where I am

Worth

October 9, 2011 by · 1 Comment

So…it’s been way too long since I’ve had a coffee date with a friend withOUT having to chase a little girl around the confines of a Starbucks.

I am, in fact, dying for some girl time and a good cup of coffee, but I guess that will have to wait a bit longer. Tonight, I’ll have to settle for a mug of java and writing to you all from my couch. At least the girl is in bed, and I am semi-able to tune out the Packer game. 😉

It’s been kind of a funky weekend.

We thought we had plans to go

look at a couple cars yesterday morning, but those changed so we ended up having nothing to do. Around 11, Tobin asked if I wanted to go to St. Charles for lunch, and I immediately jumped at the chance. (There are some of the coolest places to eat there…and, truthfully, I was dying to do something.)

So we hopped in the car and drove 30 minutes…only to find this.

People everywhere, not a parking spot to be found…or a free t

able at a restaurant, for that matter.

We turned around, went through the McDonald’s drive-thru (for Tobin and Mae…I ate a Clif bar ;)) and went home.

Fail.

Thankfully there was a bit of redemption to the day.

We had hired two babysitters to come watch Mae that night so we could go to an event that our church organizes called What’s For Dinner? Basically, couples are randomly assigned to groups throughout the year and take turns having dinner with different people. We had a lot of fun…and it was great to get to know some new people. And, as a bonus, Maelie loved her babysitters, and they loved her…so all was good.

Still… definitely a non-normal Saturday.

And today, I’ve just been tired and blah.

It started out okay. I had praise team this morning, but Maelie wanted nothing to do with sitting in church, so once again Tobin spent the service in the nursery with her. And I spent the service feeling guilty. To be honest, those kind of mornings are pretty rough.

So we came home, fed the girl some lunch, played with her a bit, and put her down for her afternoon nap which, thankfully, she took. And it was long.

I puttered around waiting for a friend to stop over to borrow something, and then I decided I just needed to clear my head so I cranked up my iPod and went for a run.

At least it got me thinking….

And as a d isclaimer, th

is is not a pity party. It’s where I am, but if you want, you can go now. I’ll still love you.

:)

It got me thinking about the word Worth.

What is my value to others? Should I have value to others

? Is that what’s important?

This morning I made a passing comment to a friend that sometimes I felt frustrated that I’m just Mel. I’m not reallly, really good at any one thing. I sing, I play guitar and piano, I write, I’m a wife, I’m a mommy…and while I try to do those things well, I don’t always feel like I do.

I spend far too much of my time worrying about what others think of me.

I’m human.

I want my friends to value me and have a place in their lives for me. I want to know that I actually add something to the lives of those around me.

I don’t want to spend my life just being, though there is definitely a time and a place for that.

I guess I just want to feel like I’m worth something.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Hang on with me, k? 😉

I was tossing these ideas around in my head as I jogged around Carpenter Park,and my thoughts went back to 1 Corinthians 13, the Love

chapter. Which, of course, I had to read. :)

It was humbling to consider these words.

Especially in light of my overly-human characteristics, my desire to be better at things than I am…and sometimes, to be more than the person God created me to be.

There are days when I’d love for someone to think, Wow, she can really sing; or Yikes, she can rock a guitar; or What a great mom.

In the end, though…it’s about love.

I could be all of those things, but if I don’t have love, I am nothing.

Worthless.

I’m not sure I have much to add after that…it definitely gave me something to think about as I search for where I find my worth, my value.

Of all the things I want to be remembered for, I’d most like to be known for Love.

I have a long way to go.

God, help me to Love.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, what I'm learning, where I am

A Reminder

October 8, 2011 by · 2 Comments

A short but sweet thought tonight.

We hired a b

abysitter tonight.

(Two, actually.) We had plans and these girls came highly recommended, so they

came over and spent four hours with Maelie. (Well, two of them she was sleeping, but still.)

As I was driving them ho me tonight,

they kept saying, “Your daughter is amazing.”

That made my heart smile.

But inside, I thought, I know.

I know how amazing she is, but sometimes I forget to look at the little things that make her just that.

Like…

her cheesy, scrunchy-face smile,

her still-slightly-off-balance toddle as she runs toward me,

watching her chase the dogs, giggling as loudly as possible, (it’s WAY too cute ;))

her sweet personality and love for everyone,

her desire to be close to us all the time,

the way she grins and squeals when she sees us first thing in the morning,

the way she’s growing and changing and learning,

the beautiful creation of God that she is,

and so,

so much more.

It was a good reminder to me tonight.

I am so thankful for my girl and all she is.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Maelie, where I am

Just Being

September 29, 2011 by · 2 Comments

Just a little thought for y’all tonight.

..mostly ’cause it’s late and I have barely started the FOUR mongo loads of laundry I need to finish before we leave at noon tomorrow.

Can we say procrastination?

All together now…

1…………..2……………3…

Ok, you get the point. :) Anyway.

Today in Bible study we were talking about Job’s friends and how they came and sat with him for seven days after he’ d lost so much.

They didn’t say anything…they just sat near him and gave him permission to grieve as he needed to…and to be.

My first thought was, Yikes! Seven days? That’s insane!

I’m not sure I could sit with someone and be quiet for that long.

However, it was an interesting concept to think about in terms of this week.

I don’t know if grief is the right word for what I’ve been feeling.

I guess, in some ways, yeah.

I’m grieving the loss of a friend I connected with online.

I’m missing her already.

I’m aching for her family and those closest to her.

It hurts…and there’s definitely a void. That hurt hasn’t consumed my thoughts continuously, but it’s been there in the back of my mind since she died.

And there’s nothing wrong with feeling any of that.

While I am in no way comparing myself to Job, the concept of just needing “to be” hits home

right now.

It’s interesting how that happens sometimes and how we respond to it.

For me, just being means needing a lot of time to process. (Maelie took awesome naps this week.

:)) I’m generally a talker, and while I’ve shared what I’m feeling with a couple friends, most of my processing has been either through the blog or internal.

It also means pulling back on life and taking things slower. For me, being less social, whether I want it or not.

Maelie was also sick this week…three d ays in

a row at home. Not what I would have chosen, but that time gave me a chance to think. (And sleep. I did take a couple good naps this week. :))

It also means weird things like working out at 10 p.m., which I did three times this week when I had a sudden burst of energy. Or cleaning out my closet because I have the sudden motivation to do so…can’t say that cleaning is ever at the top of my list, though! 😉

I think sometimes we all need that in our lives…a chance to just be. No expectations, just time to process.

Does that make any sense?

I’m not sure it does, either, but it’s where I am tonight.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am

How I Live

September 26, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

On Monday nights

I usually work out with a group of friends.

But tonight, it was rainy and two of my friends weren’t feeling well, so it was canceled.

I already had my workout clothes on so I decided to go for a rainy, almost-in-the-dark run.

While I enjoy running with a friend, I also love a good put-my-headphones-in, crank-my-ipod-up, run by myself.

I always use the same playlist when I run…it’s a mix of praise and worship (mostly) and a lot of the songs have some good beat because that makes me run faster.

(At least I tell myself that. :)) And I leave

it on shuffle, so I never know which song will be next…from my list of 100 or so songs.

Tonight I started running, and I was feeling pretty blah. It rained most of the day, it’s been an emotional weekend, and I spent a good part of the day either at the doctor with Mae or waiting (too long) for a prescription to be filled.

The first song that played was one that, to be honest, I usually skip when I hear it start. I’m not even sure how it ended up on my playlist…kind of random.

But I love how random to me is planned to God.

Here are the words.

How You Live.

(Point of Grace)

Wake up to the sunlight
With your windows open
Don’t hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress
Use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want
But want what you have
And don’t spend your life lookin’ back

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
Cuz it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

So go to the ballgames
And go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children
Dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don’t run from the truth
‘Cause you can’t get away
Just face it and you’ll be okay

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
You won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

Oh wherever you are and wherever you’ve been
Now is the time to begin

So give to the needy
And pray for the grieving
E’en when you don’t think that you can
‘Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
Make peace with God and make peace with yourself
‘Cause in the end there’s nobody else

Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Lookin’ back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did
It’s how you live

I needed to hear that song today. As I jogged along, I soaked in the words, knowing full well that God intended for me to hear and process every single one of them today.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Gitz and how she lived.

She lived the words of this song and so much more.

Her life was about living fully and loving completely exactly as the person God created her to be.

That’s such a leg

acy to leave.

Several of her friends are getting tattoos with the words, Choose Joy, in her handwriting.

I love it. I even begged Tobin to let me get one, but I know how he feels about tattoos…and, well. I choose to honor him.

And I choose to remember her…in other ways.

And after hearing that song today, I know without a doubt that the best way any of us can honor her memory is by how we live. Living completely for God, loving people well, and running the race until it’s over and we get to hear the words that she heard Saturday night.

Well Done.

Sweet Sara, thank you for how you lived.

Sig

Filed Under: where I am

Chattin’ on a Thursday Night

September 22, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Hey friends.

I’m sitting here with my Diet Pepsi, wondering how long my eyes are going to remain open.

It’s been a busy day. Bible study and awe som

e, made-me-think-too-much video; hanging with the girl and squelching some crabbiness (thankful for naps!); getting some things done around here including making dinner for hubby and Mae; picking Tobin up from work; hair appointment; praise team.

Whew. I’m tired.

It’s been an emotional week.

Good stuff…some of it.

Some not so.

I’m hurting. I’m trying so hard not to dwell on the impending death of a friend.

I can’t believe the ache and tightness I feel in my chest when I think of her family and friends surrounding her, walking her Home. And letting her go. On the flip side, I truly smile with JOY when I think of her pain free, body completely healed, in the presence

of her Savior.

It’s a strange paradox to smile through pain.

And Sara consumes most of my thoughts and prayers these days.

I am thankful for that and what He is teaching me about JOY when things are hard.

When we don’t understand. When we can’t see but know that He can.

So I finished my song…the one I’ve been working on for two years.

(That bold line above is directly from it.) I was literally waiting on the bridge for two years, and it finally came two weeks ago.

I have to admit that I’m happy with how it turned out.

There are two people I want to hear it…then maybe I’ll post it here.

But I also admit to you that I’m not a songwriter or, really, a singer for that matter. I’ve wrestled with why I was even writing it for a long time because I have no intention at this time of doing anything with it.

I think it may have been part of the healing process for me in dealing with the losses through our failed adoption and miscarriage.

My heart feels more ready to move on now, if that makes sense. 😀 (Yeah, there’s a smile. A big one. Because I’m choosing JOY today.)

In “finishing” it, (aka: being able to chord it on the piano and sing it at the same time…yay for multitasking!) I feel like God is preparing our hearts to start praying about the adoption road again.

Two years ago, we swore we’d never repeat it…and yet, time does heal.

And He heals.

Praise God.

We really have no idea what the future holds for us as a family, but we know that our Father does.

And that’s enough. So right now, we’re praying. Just praying. Taking things slowly and waiting on His timing.

Thanks for praying for us, too, friends. :)

And because this is getting way too heavy…

This week I got rid of all the bad food in the house. (Ok, I need to rephrase that.

There’s still a little in the house because the other two residents need to survive!) I’m drinking protein shakes, eating a LOT better, and treating myself with the occasional Clif Bar.

Four days later my pants are already looser.

Woot woot! (However, I do not want my weight to become an obsession, so we’re not going to talk about it

too much on here. If you’re that interested, e-mail me. ;))

I will say, though, that I am very thankful

that I somewhat enjoy working out and eating things like rice cakes and zucchini. True story.

This has been a random collision of emotions tonight. Thanks for riding along.

Some nights my thoughts are allowed to be all over the place, right? 😉

G’nite, friends. You bless me.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, music, prayer, where I am
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