Behind the Scenes: On Anniversaries and Selfies

Anniversary2013

Just throwing this out there…

I’m not a selfie taker, typically.

I’ve got nothing against those of you who can magically hold out your iPhone and, almost instantaneously, snap the most perfect, flattering, photo of your gorgeous face and hair and then post it to facebook for all the world to see.

I’m just not that person, usually, but it’s all good.

I can appreciate your gifts.

Anyway. 😉

So we went out on a date to celebrate our 11th anniversary on Sunday night. (A day late…BOO on migraines. Yay for babysitters who can do a last-minute switch on nights.) 😉

As most of our anniversary dates tend to be, this one didn’t turn out quite like we envisioned. (If I told you some of the unique ways we’ve spent our anniversary…let’s just say it would be an entertaining series of blog posts. ;))

However, that’s ok…we’re learning to embrace the surprises that come along.

So we started our big night out at Costco.

Yes, we did.

We got ice cream and then walked around and bought some cleaning supplies that we needed because, let’s face it, the key to a happy marriage is making sure the bathrooms are clean, right? 😉

Then we made our way over to a restaurant we’ve driven by a hundred times. And every time we’ve driven by, I’ve said, We need to go there for dinner sometime.

So we did.

It was this little Mexican place, El Molino, and while it’s not in my top ten, the green salsa was pretty awesome, as were the enchiladas. I’d go back. :)

The service was super fast, and after dinner, we were faced with almost two hours before we told the babysitter we’d be home.

What to do, what to do?

Hmmmm…remember that time three years ago when we had a four week-old and were looking for a place to live and we saw a bunch of houses, some that were in slightly sketchy areas of town? Let’s go find them!

Guys, we totally did.

Pulled the GPS up on the phone and drove all over town. (Technically, all over two towns.)

We managed to find the first house we looked at, and the sight of that one only made me breathe thanks over and over that God had other plans for us.

We think we found another one (but the new owners had painted it rusty-icky-brown…really?!), and we’d liked this one a lot, but it didn’t work out. That’s more than ok…we love where we are. :)

And after that we were kind of over the whole, let’s-go-find-the-houses-we-didn’t-end-up-renting, thing. (Especially because I felt like a total creeper… ;))

So we went to Dunkin’ Donuts. We wanted coffee because we just did.

Or, maybe I did.

That’s because I’m breathing. 😉

Our mistake was that we went INTO the store instead of just doing drive-thru. So, of course, we walked out with donuts, which we totally needed after ice cream and too many chips-and-salsa-plus-dinner.

It is a good thing we went in, though, because it gave us the perfect opportunity to document our adventure-filled, so-not-predictable, anniversary date With. A. Selfie.

Complete with a very-slight, sneak peek of my, in-my-husband’s-words, psychodelic vest.

The same vest he went practically-to-the-moon-and-back to get for me. (Thinking that might be another post in itself, though…come back next week?  Trust me, it’s worth it. ;))

In all of this, selfie-pic-taking-included, I smiled.

We haven’t had an easy road. This marriage thing has been a lot of things…and easy hasn’t been one of them.

But the smiles in this selfie? They’re real.

For all of the hard moments, the days when we wondered whether we should even keep doing this anymore…this year.

This moment.

I’m thankful.

We know it’s worth it and that it always will be.

I love this guy, I do.

I’m so blessed to walk this thing called life with him by my side.

And I could gush and gush here, but I hope the smiles say it all instead.

Here’s to selfies that document what words often can’t.

**********************

On Tuesdays, I link up at my friend, Crystal’s place, for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time and stop by for some of my favorite reads of the week written by my sweet, blogging sisters. They’ll make you laugh, cry, and remind you of how good life is and how fun the stories can be behind the camera lens. :)

Thanks for stopping by today, friends!

crystalstine.me

Sig

Behind the Scenes: We’re Not Just Picking Flowers Here…

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When I first look at this picture, I think,

Mel, couldn’t you have at least gotten this from another angle? Really? It’s your precious girlie picking a flower!

And then I answer myself with a loud, resounding, NO!

Because this is not really a story about picking flowers at all…but I hope you enjoy my drama storytelling, anyway. 😉

On Sunday afternoon we left town around 12:45 p.m. and headed to Madison, Wisconsin, for Tobin’s uncle’s birthday party.

It’s a two hour drive.

ETA with a potty break thrown in there: 3:00 p.m.

Right. On. Time.

But, no. Oh, no.

Our first mistake was getting on I-90 which was kinda like downtown Chicago after a Bulls game.

Times about a hundred gazillion.

Traffic was creeping…and I do mean creeeeeeeeeeeping.

We sat in it for a good fifteen minutes before we were able to inch our way toward the first exit we saw.

We’re poring over the GPS, trying to find an alternate route, already running super late, and have just turned onto Route 72 when we hear that little voice from the backseat.

I need to go potty!

It’s our first road trip with her being potty trained. {OF COURSE she needs to go potty…it’s Murphy’s Law at its finest and most inconvenient. ;)}

We stop at the first gas station we see and We. Make. It.

Whew.

But we’re Tobin and Mel and Maelie…the fun never stops with just a potty break! 😉

She spots a field of flowers as we’re walking back to the van. Down the hill from where we’re parked.

I’m wearing heels. (Of course…when am I not? But still.)

I WANNA PICK A FLOWER!

Knowing that the easiest thing to do in this situation is to Just. Let. Her. Pick. The. Flower…I kick off my heels and we run down the hill to find the very best one.

Realizing at this very moment that this is potentially a perfect picture for my Tuesday post, I whip out my iPhone and snap a picture as fast as I can before we run back up the hill to the van.

And, yes, I remembered to go back for my shoes. 😉

Soon we’re off again, down or up or whichever way we were going on Route 72. (I’m thinking I need to write a song here…)

The drive is going smoothly for about six minutes, which is a record for us on this trip, friends.

Things. Are. Most. Definitely. Looking. Up.

And then we see? The brake lights.

There’s a train. It’s. Not. Moving. At. All.

People are turning around, and I just think, Can’t you wait a few measly minutes for a train?

And then Tobin points out that people on the other side have gotten OUT of their cars and are walking around. Clearly, this train is not moving anytime soon.

We sit for a few minutes, thinking that maybe our presence will bring some good luck and things will get moving again. Not a chance. Like the multitudes, we backtrack and find another route. (At this point, the GPS tells us we’re going to be about 30 minutes late.)

Finally on our way (again) we head toward Rockford. We are Just. About. There. when we pass over I-90, which I think may have a new name in my mind now. (It does not belong here.)

Traffic is moving.

We’re encouraged that perhaps we can hop back on the freeway and make up a few minutes.

Our next mistake: We get back on the freeway.

Because we’re optimistic like that. 😉

No sooner had we actually entered the highway when we saw brake lights and it backed up.

We crawled.

Crawled.

Actually, I’m pretty sure I could have gotten out of the car and, literally, crawled faster.

OY.

At this point, I think the phrase, And WHY are we doing this?, may or may not have escaped my lips.

But by now, I just need to focus on something else, so I pull out my phone and tap out a text message to a friend. It’s all, Hope you’re having a good day, we’re stuck in traffic, haha, but she knows me well enough to know that I’m just not telling her exactly how frustrated I am.

It takes up a minute of our forever-into-eternity, long trip, and then I look up.

Still traffic.

Twenty more minutes before we hit Rockford, which is normally a 40 minute drive for us. Sunday? It took us

An. Hour. And. 40. Minutes.

Good grief, have we done something wrong?! Don’t answer that.

Thankfully the rest of the trip was uneventful except for one more little stop right before we arrived at our destination just a few minutes before 4 p.m.

Happy party, fun to catch up with people we hadn’t seen in a long time, there was cake, all is good.

Except there’s a drive home, ya know?

We planned it and got off the freeway Completely. Before. We. Even. Arrived. In. Illinois.

Take THAT, I-90.

😛

Home in two hours and a few extra minutes. Praise Jesus.

Except I have to go through Rockford next week, and I have no idea how I’m going to survive it.

Lots of prayer?

More detours?

Please. Send. Chocolate.

**********************

Happy Tuesday, sweet friends! On Tuesdays I link up with my sweet friend, Crystal, at her space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to hop over and read about the real and messy of life that happens behind the photos we take.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Mother’s Day Memories…and a Confession

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.

Facebook reminded me, Twitter reminded me, pretty much everyone reminded me.

There’s nothing wrong with being reminded of that…because I’m a mama, a blessed one…and I love the fact that I’ve been able to celebrate the last three Mother’s Days with an amazing little girl by my side. (And, well, three years ago, I was about to pop, so there was definitely a reminder that she was about to be in my arms, too!)

MaeMommyPumpkinDays

And my husband and daughter treated me like royalty…I got flowers, a sweet card, more hugs and kisses than I can count, a cardigan I’d been drooling over but couldn’t bring myself to spend the money on, my favorite dinner and CAKE, shared with our favorite friends, and a NAP. Two-ish hours long and worth capitalizing every letter in bold. (The CAKE was worth capitalizing, too…long story, but I love CAKE {and my friend who made it!}. I think we’ve had this conversation a few times on the blog…) 😉

It was truly a special day, but I have to confess something…something I know that many can relate to.

There were so, so many Mother’s Days when I just hated the day. Hated the celebration, dreaded going to church with the inevitable, identify-yourself-if-you’re-a-mom thing. Stuffed down the wound that my mommy arms were empty and my heart even emptier.

I think it makes it hard for me to completely enjoy a day like this when I know there are so many women out there who ache when it rolls around…maybe for the same reason it was hard for me, or maybe not. They duck their heads and swallow the tears when the mamas at church stand up and receive applause.

I almost feel guilty for celebrating a day that I know brings so much heartache to so many…maybe it’s because I wish it could just be a day when we’re all celebrated.

I’ve been blessed beyond measure, and my story is happy. But to those of you who are hurting, I’m sorry.

You were on my heart yesterday…I just want you to know that.

Sig

A Reminder of His Protection

I don’t love to fly.

Which could actually be shocking to many of you, considering that my life, in general, has deemed traveling by plane very necessary.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that takeoffs and landings, especially, scare the b-geebies out of me. This, coming from a girl, who has endured at least two hundred of them. Yep, I still sweat and grip the armrests so tightly that my knuckles turn white.

So, you can imagine the kind of conversation that ensued when, Saturday morning I trudged out of bed (yes, I usually trudge for the first few minutes…not exactly a morning person), and his first words to me…

This is crazy…a plane coming from Bandung overshot the runway in Bali and landed in the ocean. 

So, like any curious, former-Bandung-Indo-resident, Bali-lovin’, girl would do, I immediately headed to the computer to watch a clip with him.

It kind of shook me up to see it.

We’ve flown all over Indonesia. Once, even with that very airline. We’re also (still) aware of the fact that several of the airlines there don’t meet safety requirements, and runways in several major Indo airports teeter toward the too-short length. There is one, in fact, that has been “officially” deemed too short, but it’s one we never actually landed on.

Seeing the footage sent chills up and down my spine as I recounted the many times we’ve landed on that very runway. (Prayers being uttered during every landing by yours truly. ;))

Once we watched the footage together (and laughed at how one of the announcers pronounced Bandung (friends, its Bon-doong, not Ban-dung ;)) we had to process it out, you know.

Or, at least one of us did. :)

Indonesia and Bali are both on our list for next year. We’ve been wanting to take Maelie there before she gets too much older…plus, if we’re going that far, we have to do Bali so this girl can hit a surfboard for a few hours. 😉 Well, and so we can introduce our girl to this little slice of paradise that is so special to us.

But, true to my personality type, I immediately freaked out. I guess there’s no way Maelie will see Bali now!

:)

It’s moments like that when I’m glad to be married to a rock-solid, albeit-slightly-a-little-too-steady, ISTJ like Tobin. Because his response?

Why not?

He gets it, and it was a short, not too earth-shattering (thought maybe plane-splitting ;)), reminder that my Father has it all figured out. The fact is that if our time to go…and if God chooses a plane crash for that…then there’s not a lot I can do to stop it.

I just have to trust that He’s got it all worked out for good…and I know He does.

I’m posting this video because, praise God, other than some minor injuries, everyone made it off the plane safely, which seems like a miracle when you see the plane. (It is also, in fact, shocking how close to shore that plane is.) We used to hang out at Kuta Beach and watch the planes come and go from just a mile or two away…crazy to think that a plane went down just that distance from where I surfed and boogie boarded. Wild.

Thanking my Father today for His protection of these precious people.

(P.S. My apologies for any potential ads that may precede this video…I tried to find the least-offensive one, but who knows what’s gonna show up. ;))

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: How I Live

What’s a typical day in your life like right now? How can you see God’s hand in the middle of the “small” and ordinary too?

When I first saw the topic for this week, I smiled and started singing a song.

One that, for reasons unknown to me, somehow made it onto my running playlist about a year ago and became a favorite. I especially love the chorus.

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Looking back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did, it’s how you live

“How You Live” Point of Grace

Though it may sound a bit flaky, I try to live my life in this way…with the music cranked up (sometimes literally), looking for the adventure in every step, and dancing throughout my days, too. (As long as there’s coffee. ;))

On a perfect day, I start with a run.  I usually do between three and four miles, but  I only did 2.4 this morning…on Monday nights I work out with friends, and our workout went late last night and was topped off by a frappuccino and a chat with my dear friend :), so I didn’t push it. I’m not Super-runner Woman, either (though I would look good with a cape, huh?!)…it’s something I became intentional about in order to shed those baby pounds and turned into something I enjoy.

When I get home from running (before 7 am) I get the coffee going and get ready for the day.

Key word here = coffee. I drink a ton of the stuff. True confession. But not black…always with creamer. Bailey’s Creme Brulee is my favorite. Mmmmm.

I’m a stay-at-home-mom, and it’s the job title I wear most proudly.

I’m mama to the most incredibly wonderful, spirited, sweet girl, Mae. Ever the non-napper, she almost always gives me a wonderful night’s sleep, so she usually isn’t awake before 7:30. (Unless we’re in time change mode. Ugh.) I love that it gives me time to hop through the shower and get ready somewhat before she’s up.

Once Mae is up, it’s the usual. Breakfast, sometimes-playtime, sometimes-Sesame Street. If she goes the tv route, I use that time to do some Bible reading and blogging. It’s when most of my daytime writing gets done. A lot of people start their mornings early. early. early. with spending time with God. I have found  that it  simply doesn’t work well for me.

I love Him.

But my mind is not coherent enough before my run to focus. Instead, I crank up a pretty sweet playlist of praise songs for my run and worship Him in that way. I love it, and I usually sing along. 😉

The  rest of our day varies, depending on the day. Some days we head to church for Bible study or to help with Feed My Lambs; the other days we’ll chill at home and  do art projects or read stories or play princesses or bake. (She’s a huge play doh fan right now, too.) We save errands for the afternoon, usually, because my ever-so-sweet girl mostly-dropped her afternoon nap last summer. (She takes about one a month.)

It’s a simple day, usually, and sometimes there will be more writing or catching up online interspersed with what we do.

MaeMommyPumpkinDays

My main goal as a stay-at-home mama  is to simply enjoy her and be the best mommy to her that I can be. The days are already passing too quickly, and she’ll be off to preschool in just five short months. Tear. 

My hubby usually gets home around 5:30, and  we’ll spend a little time together as a family,  eat dinner, and then it’s off to bathtime and bed for the non-napper girl we have. :) She’s usually in bed and asleep before 7:30 which gives us some time to unwind. Sometimes T and I will play a game or watch a movie; sometimes we’ll do our own thing…me, usually write; him, catch up with his favorite blogs or watch a TV show. Fun fact: we really love playing cribbage. I know it’s an old-people game, but it’s fun! You should try it. 😉

Being a SAHM was not something I ever thought I’d be, but I love it. I’ve realized, too, that it’s something I should never take for granted. My husband works hard so I can be with my girl, and I know there are a lot of mamas who wish with everything in them that they could be home with their kids, too. I am extremely blessed, and so thankful I can spend my days with Mae. :)

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One of the things God has over-and-over convicted me about is my prayer life. I grew up always thinking that to pray, I needed to stop what I was doing, fold my hands, close my eyes, and talk to Him in that way. And while there are times for that, I try to make prayer part of my lifestyle…and I talk to Him throughout the day. Sometimes in a sentence, sometimes longer. While I’m washing dishes, vacuuming, or even changing a diaper.

I love that He hears me…and that He listens no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

I also love that my daughter is learning the value of speaking to her Father, too, no matter where she is in her day. Often, we’ll pray for Putra, our Compassion child…his picture is on our wall in the kitchen, and she likes to look at it. Mae knows that we can talk to God about him, and that we can do it while we’re playing princesses, too. :)

In relation to my dream(s) and pursuing them in daily life, my biggest goal is to place them in His hands each day and pray for opportunities. Right now, my sweet friend is reading through my book, and I’m good with that…in some ways, it’s a break I can use to reflect on what He’s asking of me and what could potentially be next. As for my other dream of writing for a bigger blog, I talk to Him about it…and just keep doing my thing…

…writing  in this space, which I truly love. I really do, even if the number of blog posts a week has dwindled a bit. (I’m trying to focus on content more instead of word count. Please don’t count the number of words in this post. ;))

I’m trying to be faithful with the smaller things…and trust that He’ll bring the big things when it’s time. His time.

More than ever, right now, I’m content with that, and it’s a good place to be.

Just living the life He’s created for me, following Him in obedience, and trusting that His plan will happen.

And it’s Tuesday! Hop over to the lovely Holley Gerth’s place to read more stories of what God is doing in the lives of my dreaming sisters! We’d love for you to join us. :)

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Joy Surrounding Me

JOY

What brings you joy, especially when it comes to your God-Sized Dream?

I love this question and am so very overwhelmed by it all at the same time.

Joy.

JOY.

JOY.

The word has such a different meaning now than it did just two years ago.

My husband and I were in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of our marriage. It was a daily struggle to move forward and to choose love and joy in spite of the challenges that seemed to overtake our days.

Around this time, I had gotten into the groove of blogging, and my writing was definitely something that brought joy…a place to release and be…no matter what I was feeling that particular day.

As I slowly started to become connected online with some different bloggers and friends, I came across a blog.

The writer is someone many of you may know at least through her words. And I became privileged to know her through them, too, even if we never exchanged an in-real-life, friend hug.

During those days of wondering and waiting and unknown, I found myself drawn into her story, inspired by her words, and taken by her heart for our Father.

Someone asked her the question, “How do you manage to stay so positive? So happy? Don’t you ever just get really mad?”

And her reply, specifically this part of it, changed me.

The thing I try to remind myself of, as I am without all the things that I wish I had to make me happy, is that my biggest need is Him. More than I need to be outside in the fresh air, more than I need to move without pain, more than I even need Dad… I need His will to be done in my life whether it is comfortable or not. There is not one thing that feels comfortable about my world right now, but I need Him more than I need to change my circumstances.

It’s still brutally hard. I have to remind myself of these facts every day. It doesn’t always come easily.

But it doesn’t make the truth any less true.

And the truth is that I can choose the joy.

So I do.

From this post at Sara’s blog.

Knowing Sara for the few months I did changed my perspective. Reading her words taught me how to Choose Joy, even on the days that were hard.  (Hard to me, nothing compared to what she endured.)

And I share this with you to tie it back into my answer to the question…

What brings you joy, especially when it comes to your God-Sized Dream?

Honestly, it’s the beauty He brings to each of my days.

Sunshine in the form of a little girl I am privileged to love and raise and spend my days with. I love her so much it brings tears to my eyes.

My husband and the way he loves me through each day, never settling and always striving for something more.

Heart friends…those near me and those so far away that heaven will be our reunion…who bless me with love and laughs, encouragement and prayer.

A new community of women who have inspired and blessed me along the journey to a dream.

Words…and the little gift He has given me in being able to use them to encourage others.

The sunshine streaming through the windows today.

A text or prayer of encouragement from a friend.

Printing off my rough draft and giving it to a friend. :)

A cup of coffee on a cold winter morning.

What I learned, and am continually learning, through my friend’s life is that there is JOY surrounding me.

It’s everywhere.

And it’s my choice…despite my circumstances, I can choose to find it in each day.

Maybe this is somewhat of a generic answer…I hope you don’t see it that way.

I hope that, whatever the dream God has rooted deeply in your heart, you’ll always find joy along the journey of realizing that dream.

I truly can’t wait for the day when my book is in print and I hold it in my hands.

Or for the day that I’ll hopefully have the chance to write for one of my favorite spaces.

But, today, I am embracing the joys God has given along the journey to those dreams.

For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy.
Psalm 63:7 (ESV)

As we do each Tuesday, a bunch of us are linking up with Holley Gerth and sharing all God is doing when it comes to our God-Sized Dreams! We’d love to have you join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Rest

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Rest

For about a year, early in our marriage, I worked at a coffee shop that was close to our house.

I loved it…really, that kind of job is geared toward someone like me. Chatting, coffee, people…yep, it was fun.

Even the early mornings were enjoyable enough, though they required me to get up at 4:30 a.m. :)

When Friday night would hit, though, all of those pre-sunrise mornings would catch up with me, and my body would literally crash.

And early.

It wasn’t uncommon for me to be completely out before 8 pm.

One of the stories my hubby loves to tell from that year was from a certain week. Nothing in particular stands out from that week, but for whatever reason, my body was so tired, I fell asleep around 7 pm on Friday night.

And while that’s not earth-shattering, the time I got up the next day is.

One. in. the. afternoon.

He jokes about how much he got done while I was, literally, sleeping the day away…not only did he go grocery shopping (bless him to the moon and back for that one!), but he went to Menards, bought an invisible fence for our dog, and installed the entire thing before I was out of bed.

:)

I’m not going to make excuses for myself.

Clearly my body needed that rest, and when it finally got it…in the form of 18 hours?

I couldn’t believe the difference.

I felt so much more awake…alive…able to actually function.

And it’s the same way with resting in our Father.

Sometimes we go and go and go…trying to do everything in our own strength, forgetting that we have the strength of someone else.

We don’t have to do it on our own.

And when we finally slow down for that rest…for that encouragement…for His presence…it’s only then that we can continue on and feel alive again.

I am so guilty of pushing forward on my own, trying to get through my days in my own, human strength.

God, I need you. So much.

Help me to find my rest, always, in You.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Little Blessings (Pt. 62)

Just a night for counting blessings…join me!

:) Sweet memories with my hubby. 366 days ago, we kissed under the Eiffel Tower. (Sorry, I don’t have a picture of that; we were too busy…um…kissing. ;))

us@eiffeltower

:) Hand-holding days with my girl…I want to savor every one because I know a day is coming when she won’t want to hang on anymore.

:) Unexpected blessings like chatting with a friend and a random lunch date.

:) Beautiful sunshine to make a cold day seem a little less so.

:) Music and the freedom we have to praise Him in this place.

:) A surprise conversation today with someone I’d never met who understood my Indonesia life a little. What a blessing that was to this still, sometimes-homesick, heart.

:) New friends who have spoken Truth, love, and encouragement into my life.

:) Old friends who also speak that same Truth, love, and encouragement.

:) Hard lessons and the reminder of the importance of daily surrender.

:) A Father Who loves me…even when I have those many, many moments a day when I am unlovable.

And, P.S. I couldn’t resist posting this picture just one more time. :)

best eiffel shot

What are some of the ways He’s blessed you this week?

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: What Mama Did

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: What Mama Did

It’s a day I have waited for…and dreaded at the same time.

That day when I cross the line, officially, from child to adult. No, not my eighteenth birthday, but I rang that in a few weeks ago.

I’m leaving for college.

It’s time to go…time to get out of here, or more like high speed it out of here on I-35 in my awesome ’85 Olds.

And I know I don’t do goodbye well…or see ya later…or even hello, but what the future holds for me is bright. I just know it.

And I leave behind the place that started me…and the people who were the pieces of that beginning, too.

She was one of my biggest influences, my mom…and life turned out much differently than any of us had ever planned. Circumstances were unfair, the consequences of decisions affected us to the core, and when I packed my bags on that sweltering August day, we knew that I was leaving as a much different person than I had been before they ended.

Her and my daddy.

And my last two years there, it was just me and her. She was strong and did what she had to do, but the situation changed us all forever.

And now I’m me…not the same as I was, but still pieces of it.

Sometimes stumbling, faltering…and I learn again to rest in His grace and remember that there is always a brand new day coming where His new mercies abound.

Almost seventeen years later, I think about the new journey that day began.

I kiss my husband.

I love on my daughter.

I thank God for the many, many blessings He has so graciously given.

Included in those blessings, are those pieces from my beginning. My daddy. My mama.

And now, I continue on in her shoes.

And I hope that, one day, when my daughter is asked to reflect, she will write of me with thankfulness and love for all we shared.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

More of the Still

It has been one of those seasons…over and over, there have been reminders from Him.

Sometimes quiet whispers, sometimes not-so-quiet, and a few in-my-face. 😉

For some reason, God keeps bringing this verse into my life…literally. I can’t even count the number of times it’s come up on the radio, in sermons, in reading…in the past few weeks.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

At first it was a little weird to me that this verse, one that spent most of my life hidden away in the sometimes-elusive Old Testament, has now become such a precious promise to me…but I’m so amazed at all that He’s teaching me through these twelve words.

So it’s probably not news to most of you that I’m an open person…and I’m well aware of the amount of heart-spill that happens on these pages. It may surprise you, though, that I do have a filter, though it’s not always in the proper place while I’m doing that heart-spill. 😉

I have struggled with this for a long time…and, combined with my sheer love of words and talking and sharing, I’ve almost exhausted myself.

And probably shared too much.

So this verse is more than a promise to me from God…it’s also a challenge.

You see, friends, He is fighting for me. He’s fighting for all of us…and He’s fighting for the good.

Always the good.

He just asks that we be stilland that involves so much more than physical stillness, which I believe is an important part of choosing to sit and be, too.

It’s learning to have a quiet heart…one that can be silent enough that when He speaks…I can actually listen. I have to admit that I’m not so good at that. Some people are internal processors, and I am anything but…I always feel the need to talk and share and bounce my thoughts off of those closest to me.

Right now, He’s asking one thing of this heart…

To be still.

And what He’s asking of me means a lot of things.

Rest. (I need to stop my literal burning of the midnight oil. My new goal is in bed by 11, up at 6:30. Yes, seven-ish hours. Ambitious, I know…honestly I’ll be happy with seven good hours, but that extra 30 minutes would sure be nice.) 😉

Quiet. I have got to learn the art of thought before words, of consideration before expressing. It’s not my strength, and I think I have gotten better, but there’s room for improvement. :)

Less Words. This place is going to be quieter for a few weeks. I have to admit to you that it just about kills me to only visit here a few times a week…as in three, maybe four. (No more.) Tuesdays, Fridays, and another day in there. And it’s not permanent…but for a season, I need to step back.

Not walk away…just distance myself a bit. For lots of reasons.

For one thing, my rough draft is getting so close…and while I don’t want to force the words out, it does feel as if it’s coming more easily, and I’m SO excited to see this dream continue to grow.

More importantly, my daughter is growing up WAY. TOO. FAST. She is at the most amazing age…and we are truly having the best days together. I want to soak up each and every one completely. :)

As I’ve gotten busier during the past two months, I’ve noticed a decrease in the time I spend encouraging others. I want to intentionally make time for coffee or a chat, for writing a note or having a text conversation, and even for prayer. Relationships are huge part of my life.

Which brings me to my hubby. Since beginning his new job, it feels like we see much less of each other…and I want to be able to give him quality time together…not time that is spent distracted by what I feel needs to be written.

I also want to really focus on filling at this point.

As a writer, I often feel like I spend so much time pouring…and it’s time to fill up.

I’m blessed. Through connections and some amazing women in my life, both in-real-life and online, I’m part of two different studies and have three incredible books to read, books that are speaking Truth to me in ways that are so needed and such blessings.

I love how He knows and meets me exactly where I need to be met…without me even asking.

So please be patient with me for the next few weeks, friends. There won’t be new thoughts every day…though I will still be here at least a few times a week…but I’m not going to push it. Just take the opportunity if it’s there and I can. :)

I want you to know that you truly bless me just by being here, reading my words, and allowing me to share part of my heart with you.

Please pray that during this time of stillness I will really learn to be still.

Thanks so much…love you all!

Sig