Eternal Praise

May 9, 2011 by · 6 Comments

I really love to sing. I think I’ve mentioned that a few times. In fact, if you were a fly on one of the walls in my house, you’d probably have purchased earplugs by now.

😉

Cause Mae and I sing all day long.

Just a week or so ago I sang on Praise Team at church.

It was a bigger group of us, and it was so much fun to sing and praise God with this particular group of singers.

And there was a man in our group by the name of Don.

That man could sing.

I’d heard him sing a few times for different services, often on the praise teams, and even once as the entertainer at the Italian Festa put on at our church.

He had a rich tenor voice that wa s ju

st so beautiful.

For the last part of the service, he was standing just a few feet away from me, and during practice I remember smiling as I heard his voice booming out. I turned back to watch him for just a second.

I would have looked longer and stopped to savor those moments of music if I had known.

Just a few hours later Don lost consciousness, never regaining it.

He went to Heaven just a few days later.

I’ ve kind of been going back and forth as to whether to go to the funeral or not for the past few days.

I didn’t really know him or his family and finally decided not to go but will definitely be keeping his

family and friends in my prayers tomorrow as they celebrate his life and say goodbye.

But it’s interesting how, even though I never knew Don, his last moments have had such a deep impact over the last week.

Last night I was thinking about that Sunday and how close I was, physically, to that tenor voice.

Just days later, that same voice (but probably even better, if that’s possible!) is wowing Heaven and being sung to the very face of Jesus.

That’s just jaw-dropping amazing.

And not only is it amazing, but it will continue. He’ll keep singing with that same voice, praising the Father he loves, and someday we’ll all get to hear it again when we’re singing right along with him.

Singing and praising for eternity.

That’s just what I’m thinking about today. I’m so thankful for the promise of eternity and no more tears or goodbyes.

Someday.

Sig

Filed Under: music, remembering, where I am

Open Mic Night…

April 29, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I survived.

I did.

I wish my stinkin’ nerves didn’t always get in the way of everything, but by the last song, I was actually having a good time.

(So I’m really glad I saved my favorite song for last.) Oh, and I had some pretty fabulous impromptu backup singers for Let It Be. They are so cool.

😀

One of them asked me why I was doing this on the way there. I believe that question came after I said something to the effect of, And WHY am I doing this

? :) So her question was totally legit.

And deserved.

It was always on my bucket list. (The one I’ve never officially made.

I better hurry up and make one before I cross of all the items…cause then I will really have to do some crazy stuff! ;)) I love to make music. Coffee shops make me happy. Hanging out with friends makes me really happy. I think everyone should do things once in awhile that are wildly out of their comfort zones.

All of those reasons, I guess.

The first time was scary, but I’d do it again.

Yay for new experiences that stretch us.

And yay for adventures…I do love those!

:)

There are no photos of me singing.

(That’s really ok.) But here’s one with two pretty awesome friends…who also sang some pretty sweet harmony on a certain song.

:) Love them.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, coffee, friends, music

Diet Coke, Anyone?

April 28, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Ok, we are on the second week in a row of Diet Coke instead of coffee and a big fat headache.

Oh, shoot. That’s a bummer.

I blame it on the weather. Frustrating.

Today if you came over, you wouldn’t find me vegging on the couch…I’m not feeling quite as bad as last week. I’m just feeling busy, and (of course) headaches tend to show up on my busy days.

So I have clearly overcommitted myself in the next few days, especially since my in-laws will be in town for two of those days. I am trying to breathe and smile since most of what I have committed myself to are things I truly enjoy. Like music and coffee and more music. Oh, and royal weddings.

For a brief moment I entertained the idea of inviting a bunch friends over to watch with me at 3 a.m. But when the first person I mentioned it to was like, “Um, no,” I accepted the fact that none of them are as crazy as I am. I am still going to watch it. I will even wake up for a bit of the pre-wedding coverage, but I doubt I’ ll make it through the whole thing.

I’m going to watch the whole shebang in all of its pre-recorded glory at a decent hour.

(Thanks, Alison.)

I kinda wonder what it must be like to be Kate Middleton.

The girl is beautiful…and truly carries herself like a princess. I love it that she is so classy and just the girl next door.

(I really want to have coffee with her.) She is just the type of girl I want to see actually become royalty. (Listen to me, I sound like she’s going to be my princess or something!) As happy as I can be for a girl I don’t know, I’m happy for her.

😉 I wish her and Prince William a lifetime of happiness and love. (And may the paparazzi stay far, far away.)

Maelie has been a superb napper this week.

This is a very good thing since from the second she’s gone to sleep, the guitar has been in my hands for hours. I truly love to play and sing. Sometimes I wish I was better, but the fact that not all the notes are perfect doesn’t take away the pleasure of it. I love music.

And as stinkin’ nervous as I am about tomorrow night, I’m also looking forward to it. Music is one of my favorite things.

I also got to do something tonight I hadn’t done in eleven years…play handbells. I was not good. But it was still fun, there was a lot of mercy extended to me, and I’ve been blessed with the ability to laugh at myself, which was necessary several times tonight. Then I had praise team practice…it was nice to know most of the songs for once. 😀

I’ m starting to get the itch for real spring to show up.

Really, enough with these mid-40’s days. I’M COLD! AND I WANT TO BE WARM!

Ok, I’ ll quit ranting about the weather today.

Soon enough I’ll be complaining that it’s too hot.

Wow, I’ve been random today, which is pretty much the way I am when it comes to coffee…ahem, Diet Coke.

But I want to end with something from Bible study that really challenged me.

I’ve mentioned that we started a new Beth Moore study on the Fruits of the Spirit, and it’s good. Really good. She was talking about being filled with the Spirit and said, “There is nothing our fleshly desires can give us that is worth what they take from us.”

Wow. Powerful. I’ve been thinking about that today, and I’m not sure what it means for me…yet. But I’m thankful for those little things that God keeps giving me to think over and process. He’s working in my heart even if the words to verbalize what He’s doing aren’t there yet.

Wishing you all a wonderful (almost) Friday! Thanks for stopping by!

Sig

Filed Under: coffee, encouragement, music, what I'm learning, where I am

I Will Sing

February 25, 2011 by · 3 Comments

I love music.

I sing

all day long…really. Sometimes I pull out my guitar and sing for Maelie. (She loves it because she doesn’t know any better yet. :)) Sometimes I just belt out a random tune. Sometimes I make up songs about things like…well, let’s just hope that Maelie’s first words aren’t something about dirty diapers. 😀 Sometimes I butcher “Defying Gravity” and once I even tried to sing the ending of “Think of Me” from Phantom.

Um, no.

It seems there is always a song in my head and usually on my lips. I just love music and the powerful way it speaks to me.

So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that my daughter is already “singing”. And, at times, sounding better than her mommy.

:)

Last night was praise team practice. (Yes, the cold is at least better enough for me to try singing, but I kept the volume down. :)) It was fun…there was enough humor in the group (Titanic, anyone? And my heart will go on and on…) to keep us laughing, and most of the songs I could at least figure out.

Then we got to the last one.

It’s a Chris Tomlin and one of my favorites.

But it’s also one that I’m not sure I can sing in public.

There’s too much intense emotion that wells up within me when I hear it…imagine trying to sing it. I got through the words in practice, but I couldn’t think about the meaning at all.

Or the time in my life that it points back to.

A time where I was looking so hard for God in the middle of something…and I just couldn’t see Him. I wanted to…but my eyes were blinded by so much.

Loss. Grief. Lack of faith.

One thing that keeping this blog has done for me? It has forced me to revisit some of the tough things in life. And that’s good…I need to process things.

But the thing is…I’m tired of the ashes.

I want beauty.

I want to stand up and shout that He’s my God…and He is Everything…and that the things He’s done are amazing!

On days that are full of sunshine…AND on days that are filled with shadows.

On Sunday we’re going to sing a song…

It might make me cry. It might make me smile.

It might make me lift my hands and say, “God, You are so, so Good.”

But no matter what…I Will Sing.

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win.
I can sing when

I lose my step and I fall down again.
I can sing ’cause You pick me up, sing ’cause You’re there,
I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to

You in prayer.


I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know
That I’ll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name

?
I know I am loved by the King…and it makes my heart want to sing.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, music, remembering

A Powerful Mommy Moment

February 6, 2011 by · 58 Comments

I’m not even sure I know how to write about this.

It took

me over a week just to put the feeling into words.

But I’ll try.

One of the hardest things my husband and I have gone through in our married life was in 2009 when our plan to adopt fell through. I blogged a little about it here and here.

At that time, I almost completely lost the ability to write…hence the reason there are really only two posts about the subject.

However, one thing I found solace in was music…it was like an escape for my soul. Whether drowning out the world with my iPod and headphones or belting out a tune while strumming my guitar, it helped me survive when life felt like it would never be ok again. And one Friday afternoon in my classroom, the words to a song just came to me. The chorus? Came in like ten seconds.

The verses took about an hour. The bridge…I’ m still waiting on.

Sometimes in the mornings, Maelie will play on the floor and I’ll pull out my guitar and sing to her. Last Friday, in an attempt to get her to spend more time on her tummy, I decided it was a good day for some music. I strummed through a few familiar songs and then played the one I wrote two years ago…a song I really hadn’t touched since then. I’m used to her cooing or bopping to the music, but when I started singing that one, she stopped and stared at me intently, almost as if she understood what I was singing about.

And then I realized, Now I get it, too.

It was a moment that brought tears…but so many reasons to smile, too.

I am so very thankful for my daughter…not just for her but for what I’ve learned through her. That my Father is so amazingly Good. That there is healing after loss.

That it is possible to love even through sadness.

I am just so filled with overwhelming gratitude to God for my sweet girl.

Maelie Naomi, I love you so much.

Thank you, Father, for broken dreams that turn into something more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Thank you for holding my hand through it all. Thank you for seeing when I couldn’t.

There I Am

It wasn’t what she’d dreamed,
She’d always had a plan.


It wasn’t what she wanted,
And she didn’t understand.
Every night she prayed
For a way to make it through.
In the sleepless nights she heard His voice,
“I will carry you…

Chorus

I was there, and I still Am.
I am right beside you holding your hand.


Though you can’t see,
Trust that I can.


No matter where you go,
There I Am.”

Disclaimer: So I did attempt to record this (it’s only part of the song), but my computer’s not the greatest for this kind of thing.

And I don’t really write songs. And I desperately needed to change one of my guitar strings.

And… I was really freaked out about posting myself singing on this blog.

So a little mercy, please. :) And…ok, just listen to it.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Sig

Filed Under: adoption, being mommy, Maelie, music, remembering, what I'm learning

The Words I Would Say

February 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I had the most precious cuddle time with my girl this morning.

Th at is

a very rare thing.

I don’t mean that she isn’t sweet or huggable…just that she’s never really been a cuddler. (With me, anyway… she does cuddle with Aunt Kris once in awhile.

:))

We’ve been waiting for her top two middle teeth to come through for the past couple weeks…and we are still waiting. And while we wait, she is cranky and doesn’t feel well. But this morning she decided that instead of being fussy, she would cuddle up close, which was an amazing surprise, and I loved it.

I just sat on the couch and held her, and it was probably the best part of my day.

And while I was holding her, I was thinking about parenting and all that we’ve learned since Mae was born in June.

Like how little sleep we can actually survive on.

Or that she consumes the majority of our time…and that’s ok. And that time for just the two of us is precious because it doesn’ t happen of

ten.

And that having a daughter is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

I heard the song “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets awhile ago, and it immediately connected w

ith my heart.

Not all of it applies, but the chorus especially made me think of Maelie and the things that I want her to know about life…well, as soon as she’s old enough to understand. :)

This is such a great song…and I found several different versions on Youtube if you like free. But it’s definitely worth your m oney

on iTunes, too.

:)

The Words I Would Say

Three in the morning,
And I’m still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I’d say,
If we were face to face,
I’d tell you just what you mean to me,
I’d tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You’re going to do great things,
I already know,
God’s got His hand on you so,
Don’t live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don’t forget why you’re here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I’ve already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You’re going to do great things,
I already know,
God’s got His hand on you so,
Don’t live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don’t forget why you’re here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You’re going to do great things,
I already know,
God’s got His hand on you so,
Don’t live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don’t forget why you’re here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, Maelie, music
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