Infinitely Mae

August 24, 2011 by · 1 Comment

I failed mommyhood today.

Like, an epic failure…it was not pretty.

I’m not sure why…but I was frustrated, annoyed, not at ALL patient, and almost-mean… to my daughter.

I hadn’t seen her most of the morning because I was busy with something and Tobin had the morning off. I literally spent an hour with her, and all of a sudden she was just…difficult.

Translation: she was ONE.

It was hot, she was getting into everything, and so I thought that was the perfect opportunity for her to play in her pool. We suited her up, I plopped her in, and all was good.

For two minutes.

Then she decided to play the game, I-love-to-get-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-my-pool.

40 times.

In between those times, she’d take handfuls of rocks, play with them, try to stick one (or more) in her mouth. You know, the fun things that one year olds do to drive their mommies crazy. :)

And somewhere in there I just got annoyed.

I had been trying to watch my girl and catch up with a friend on the phone at the same time…and Mae was making that hard.

I gave up after about twenty minutes and took her inside, gave her an afternoon bottle, and put her down for her nap.

And then I felt horrible.

What was it that Mae was doing SO wrong? Nothing, really. Other than being herself.

She woke up around 4:15, which gave me time to play with her before I had to leave for my hair appointment.

As I was soaking up the Mae-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-cuddle moments, I started to make up a song for her.

And some where in the song, the words, And you are infinitely Mae, came out of my mouth.

She giggled, I smiled…and then I realized how true those words were.

It’s exactly who she is… the best possible Mae in

the world.

There is no other person in the world who can be Maelie better than she can.

Sure, she will do things that get on my nerves.

Of course she’s going to get into trouble…she’s one year old and curious.

Yes, she will put rocks in her mouth occasionally because that’s just what kids do.

And every day, she will melt my heart because she’s my girl.

We’ll have days like today sometimes.

When they happen, I need to do two things.

Work on replacing my impatience with love. And have more grace for myself, too.

I love my Mae… and all that she is.

Even on days like today.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning

A Few Pictures of Life

August 23, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Just because I can…a few moments.

Enjoy. :)

First up? My daughter clearly th inks she has someth

ing in common with her dogs.

(I had nothing to do with this other than taking the photo.)

This pic? Shows you what happened when a certain girl, who shall remain nameless, sat outside late at night for over an hour talking to her friend on the phone. While barefoot. In the grass. (Even the Calamine is really not helping.

I am very, very itchy.)

We decided tonight that cool people have bonfires in the rain.

Next time it rains, you can come over and we can have a fire… and then YOU will be cool, too.

:)

And… here

he is! This isn’ t a grea

t picture, but seeing Mark Schultz in concert was so great.

What an awesome musician!!! Still waiting to meet him…next time. :)

Sig

Filed Under: just life

Little Blessings (Pt. 6)

August 22, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

:) Two happy puppies who, despite being overly exuberant at the thought of breathing, truly make me smile.

I need that today.

:) A daughter who gets into everything…but at least she keeps me laughing most of the time!

:) Have you ever eaten this? You should.

:) Catching up with a friend and missing her like crazy. It’s good that I m iss her because that means the friendship

is still there across the miles.

:) Roasting marshmallows and remembering with my hubby.

:) Watching Maelie push her car up and down the sidewalk because she’d rather PUSH it than RIDE in it. Funny girl.

:) W atching my dogs try to climb

a tree to get to

a raccoon.

The mental image of them climbing a tree is just funny.

:) Back Porch time…definitely a good way to end a day.

:) Finding the blessings in a day that wasn’ t an easy one.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life

Oh, Yeah…

August 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So tonight I FINALLY got to see my

Favorite. Christian. Artist.

in concert.

I have waited six years for this.

Between being overseas and our life never matching with his concert schedule… yeah, it was a long wa

it.

So. So. Good.

I took a couple pictures, but they’ re not g

reat.

Maybe I’ll share them tomorrow when I have energy to get up to

get the memory card out of

the camera.

:)

I’m off to bed…g’nite!

Sig

Filed Under: just life, music

A Perfect Blogging Night

August 19, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

My blogging nights don’t usually look like this.

But this week they h ave

a few times.

:)

Yes. And Love.

So, so Love.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, writing

Future Skateboarder?

August 16, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Tonight Maelie had her first skateboarding lesson, courtesy of our wonderful friends/neighbors.

First she was content to just ride.

Then? It w as time for

a trick.

And of course, we needed to celebr ate the

accomplishment with

a big smile!

She looks pretty proud of herself, doesn’t she? :)

Sig

Filed Under: friends, just life, Maelie

Observations From the Couch in My Living Room

August 15, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I am tired.

(Worked out an hour and a half with friends.)

Therefore, I am sitting on my couch and NOT moving.

My brain is also tired. (I’ve been writing a lot lately.)

So I’m just going to tell you what I see from my current vantage point.

You are sooooooo lucky.

  • Three loads of unfolded laundry in a basket about a foot from me. I am so overjoyed at the thought of MORE laundry. And while we’re on the subject, can anyone tell me why having one baby more than doubled the amount of laundry I do?
  • Maelie’s primary-color shoppin

    g cart is full of random items. This means one of two things: either my husband threw all the toys from the floor into it OR my daughter is learning the concept of shopping.

    I choose the latter.

    :)

  • Maelie’s pack ‘n play takes up a lot of space in our living room. While I don’t wish for her to grow up too fast, it will be nice when we can put it away.

  • I have a hot pink Wii remote that I totally forgot I had. Which just goes to show you how often we actually play. I think we use it more for streaming Netflix.

  • Mae’s baby monitor is plugged in across the room. I am so frustrated that the battery life in those monitors is down to about three hours. Seriously?! Now we have to leave them plugged in all the time or get up two times during the night to switch them.

    Um, no thank you.

  • We have a stained glass decoration hanging up that was a wedding gift. It is cool enough that

    I will post a picture for you sometime.

    But not now. I’m too tired and don’t want to get up to actually take a photo.

  • I pulled out a couple scrapbooks two weeks ago to show a friend some pictures. They are still sitting on my dining room table. I, um, think I maybe need to clean more often.
  • We have a kind of small TV We originally bought it when we moved here just so we’d h ave something

    and to give us time to save for a big one. And during that time we realized that we hardly turn it on…and that we’d rather spend the money on something else.

  • However, that TV is sitting on an end table.

    (Still.) I really, really need to go to IKEA for a TV stand. Anyone up for a little shopping

    ?

There are probably a hundred more things I could observe, but I’m tired.

G’nite, world!

Sig

Filed Under: just life, random

Little Blessings (Pt. 5)

August 14, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

:) 19 STEPS! Woot woot!!! I was so busy watching her feet and counting steps that I forgot to actually look at her. That was yesterday.

Today? She’s been all over the place!

:) Watching a friend open a gift I couldn’t wait to give to her. Seriously… as much

as I love presents, I love to give them even more.

:) Having a piano and the music it brings to our house. We are so, so thankful to finally have one. Neither of us can stay away from it. And it’s becoming a tradition for us to serenade Maelie to sleep at night.

Tobin plays and I sing.

Tonight we picked How Beautiful, a song from our wedding…and I had flashbacks of Beth and Melissa singing it.

Good memories. :)

:) A really great morning at church.

We love being part of Immanuel.

:) A two-day headache that is (for now) GONE.

:) Lazy Sunday afternoons with the girl napping, Tobin watching baseball, and me napping and watching a little Netflix.

:) Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. Love.

:) Waiting for a sweet friend to have her baby…any day now!

And I do mean that…she’s, what, 12 days overdue?! Can’t wait for little lamb to arrive!

:) Wagon rides that turn into Maelie training to be a surfer when she stands up while I’ m pulling her.

Wouldn’t it be fun if we were both surfers?

:) The end of the first round of Biggest Loser. I’m six pounds down, which isn’t as much as I wanted, but it’s a start.

Here’s to round two…I’m shooting for twice that.

So proud of all my fellow Losers and thankful for the encouragement they are to me.

:) A new week.

I don’t love Mondays, but they are a fresh start, and I kinda feel like that’s a good thing right now.

:) Grace…given to me when I most definitely don’ t deserve i

t.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life

Friday Caffeine

August 12, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

We’re going to change pace a little and have coffee Friday instead…’cause goodness knows, I need it. 😉

Last night I met up with a friend in St.

Charles, a college roommate from ’98-’99, and we hadn’t seen each other since I graduated in 2001. Talk about a blast from the past!

And you know what? It was amazing how we could pick up right where we left off. So many things about us haven’t changed, and the things that have? Were good. We had So. Much. Fun. catching up on life and sharing stories and wondering, repeatedly, why it had taken us a year to get together when we lived less than an hour from each other.

This is a friendship I want to hang on to…and I already can’t wait til we can get together again!

And all of that to tell you that we met at 6:30 at the coolest pub called The Office…and left after midnight.

So it was a semi-short night of sleep for me, but I’m good. Caffeine and power naps are wonderful. 😉

Movin’ on to other things…

For the last month, Mae has made it pretty clear that she’s over napping twice a day, which has definitely shaken up the routine we had figured out. What I do love is that she’s flexible with napping. She’ll go down to sleep as early as 10 a.m. and sleep for a couple of hours…but if she does that, I am almost guaranteed no afternoon nap,

so that makes the afternoon long. For the past few days I’ve kept her awake until about 2:30, and two out of three d

ays, she took a great afternoon nap. (And today, I took one, too! :)) My girl is growing up…definitely an adjustment for both of us.

Summer is winding down.

Our Bible study group met at parks throughout the summer, and yesterday was our last one. I have to admit I was a bit sad, although I enjoy going to Bible study, too.

There’s just something about summer…it feels so free. Back to life, I guess, huh?

Not that I have anywhere I have to be, but I’m starting to really feel the need to fill up my life a little more. There are a couple things going on at church/school soon that I can help with, and I’m working on my book. I’m already about 1/4 of the way done with it, which I’m happy about. Now I’m just hopin’ everyone else likes to read my stories as much as I like to tell them. :)

And? I’ve been going back and forth on getting a part time job a couple nights a week…more on that later if it actually pans out. We shall see.

I’ve been on the craziest eating schedule for the last two weeks.

I eat breakfast, but I almost never eat lunch,

and then I eat dinner. And I’m not hungry at all. No idea what’s goin’ on with my body.

Says the girl who had pudding for lunch. (Does that count?)

That’s something you don’t know about me yet. I LOVE pudding. Especially with Cool Whip.

Mmmmmm…

And while we’re on the subject of food…tonight I made funnel cakes. I was really wanting to watch State Fair, and so I got all domestic and made them, forgetting that I can’t eat them. Seriously…bad childhood experience that had something to do with eating two in one night, and I was up all night throwing up.

I stomached two bites, and we took the rest to the neighbors. And after making those and cleaning up the mess, I’m too tired to watch the movie.

Another time, I guess. It’s more fun with a friend or two anyway, especially if those friends will belt out all the songs with me.

😉

And for some reason…I can’t think of anything else remotely exciting that might be happening right now. So I guess I’ ll drink the last bit of coffee from my mug and ca

ll it a night.

Thanks for reading.

Sig

Filed Under: coffee, friends, just life, Maelie

If I Could…

August 9, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

…go back in time and relive one day of my life, which would I choose?

Pardon me while I shamelessly use a blogging prompt today. I spent quite a bit of time writing this morning and have a tired brain.

:)

Regret is a funny thing.

You always hear it in Christian circles…forget the past and press toward

the future. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I do think it’s unhealthy to spend too much time living in the past…it makes the present less than what it should be if we’re always focused on the things that have happened.

Things we wish for and can never have again because time just doesn’t work that way.

God doesn’t work that way.

But if I could go back…there was a day.

In April 2010.

I was still in

Indonesia but only for a few more days. I went to school to spend a few hours saying goodbye to people I knew I needed to have that closure with.

It was hard, and I cried practically the second I walked in the door and saw Laura L.

I spent part of that day having lunch with my former students. We sat on the Big Boat (new and improved, for all you BAIS people ;)) and ate and talked.

It was sweet…like old times.

They filled me in on all the latest happenings in 6th grade, who liked who ;), and where everyone was going for summer break.

They talked about my ever-expanding belly, the baby girl inside, and begged (once again) for me to tell them her name. I wouldn’t.

Then it came time for the bell to ring, and we knew it.

This was it.

I could have cried because inside, my heart was just shattering. But I also knew that if I let those emotions go that I would probably sob uncontrollably, and I didn’t want some of my favorite students ever to remember me that way.

So I let the tears brim but choked down the sobs as we hugged goodbye.

I watched them disappear into the school as I stood on the playground fighting the strange paradox of thankfulness and grief.

I have often thought back to that day and wondered if I should have done things differently.

If it was ok to let them know how much I loved them and would miss them in the form of just letting the tears go.

Honestly, I don’t know if I went back and repeated this particular day that I would change a thing. But I wouldn’t mind going back just so I could hug them all. :)

My Father gives second chances…He has done that over and

over for me. I don’t know what form that might come in, but I believe that He will give me another chance to see these students.

And whenever that is, I’ll let the tears flow.

Truthfully, as painful as parts of my life have been, I have no regrets. There are things that I wish I could change, but I wouldn’t go back and change them because each were stepping stones to bring me to where I am.

And I love where I am.

So if I could go back? I would just want to hug those precious students once more, chat it up again, and enjoy one more lunch with them on the Big Boat.

Sig

Filed Under: Indonesia, just life, remembering
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