How He Meets Me

August 1, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I’m an extrovert.

That one, little word carries a lot

with it.

It means that I thrive on being social. I need people. I can handle a day or two alone just fine, but to be my happy, crazy self, I need to be around people… preferrably those who can handle my happiness and craziness.

(‘Cause if they can’t, they’re usually grumpy which puts a damper on the happy-crazy Mel-ness that sometimes overabounds.) Ok, did I seriously just type that sentence? :)

It also means that

I talk.

Sometimes a lot. And not just to the wall, either.

Thankfully my daughter can handle me talking to her all day long…and I think she’s learning a few things, too.

(Apparently she had a lot to say during church yesterday…I wasn’t sitting there, though.) And also, thankfully, God has placed some wonderful people in my life who let me talk AND who like to talk, too, teaching me to be a better listener.

When I look back at the last year, I’m surprised I didn’ t go crazy.

I spent, sometimes, strings of three or four days alone with no vehicle and, other than my husband at night, no adult interaction.

Amazingly, I survived, though I’m not always sure how.

Since that time, though, a lot has changed.

I’ve made some friends, I’ve got places to be sometimes, and it’s good. I like to be busy. But when I get to days like today, I struggle.

Today = Monday (ugh), no car, no plans, and (almost) no nap from the girl.

Those days are hard.

While some people who like to be busy thrive on having some alone time, too, for some reason I’m not that way. I think my quiet, semi-alone time might come when I am blogging.

Or sleeping.

I almost slink into a depression when I have nothing going on…and have to remind myself

to not be that way.

But one thing God has shown me in the last couple of months is how He meets me exactly where I am with what I need, not always with what I think I need. Sometimes it’s through a phone call from someone I haven’t talked with in awhile. Other times it’s through friends who are free for coffee and/or the park.

Sometimes He gives me an extra-long nap from Maelie so I can curl up and watch a movie or read a book and have some down time. Other times He meets me with silence and teaches me to be still…something I am continually working on.

The words, God, please meet me exactly where I am today, are uttered from my lips daily.

And He never fails.

He doesn’t always provide things in the way I expect, but He is still good…He’s my Father and He knows what I need.

I’m so thankful for that.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am

A New Favorite Song

July 11, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Tonight will be short and sweet.

I had a really great workout with friend s

tonight and now

am enjoying a little “me” time before it all starts again tomorrow.

:)

Laura Story’s song, Blessings, has been a chart topper for a couple months now. I like it still, even though I think it’s slightly overplayed right now. But the message remains the same, and it’s changing people’s lives…that’s what’s important.

A few days ago, a friend posted another song of hers on Facebook, Grace,  and I love it…maybe even as much as Blessings. I think  it’ s becau

se of the place I am in life right now.

Fixing some things.

Trying to refocus.

And definitely leaning heavily on His grace.

But give it a listen…good stuff. Really good.

Have a blessed night!

 

 

 

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, music, where I am

Not Knowing

June 13, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I let myself stress out over something over the weekend.

This week is VBS at Immanuel, and I volunteered to do games

for the 2nd-4th graders.

I know some of you are groaning right now, thinking, that sounds like about the most UNfun thing ever.

But you need to understand that I truly do enjoy things like that…and especially that age of kids.

They just crack me up…they live and act with complete abandon, not caring who might be watching. (5th grade? That’ s another

story. :))

And so I was really looking forward to the chance to hang out with kids that age again and be a “teacher” again.

But the one thing stressing me out was that I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

Part of that came from the few Type A tendencies that I have and part because I’m still kinda new and figuring things out…and it’s been over a decade since I’ve helped with VBS, too.

While I love to be spontaneous, I cannot be put into a situation where I have responsibility and not have the details planned.

But because of the circumstances, I literally had to go into things this morning semi-blind.

I guess we call it trusti

ng, huh

?

I woke up a little earlier than usual, spent some time reading my Bible on the porch, and felt A LOT better.

And then I had that moment…duh, Mel. Did you pray about it?

Not enough.

Those few moments spent with my Father

? Were worth so much more than the days I spent worrying about something that, in the end, was no big deal.

I showed up, hung out with some cool kids, played some games.

And I decided today that sometimes it’s ok to not know… but simply to trust.

And? I get to go back tomorrow.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: church, encouragement, what I'm learning

Comfort

June 10, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Maelie gave us a little scare tonight.

She’d been sleeping for over an hour when we heard her cry out through the monitor.

It took both me and Tobin a few seconds to decipher her cry. Like any parent knows…it’s true that you can tell the difference between their cries.

Often Mae will cry from her crib in protest if she wakes up in the middle of the night. (Yeah…she’s not a fan of the sleeping thing.) When she does this we usually ignore it unless it continues for more than a couple minutes, which it hardly ever does.

However, this cry was not a whiny, I’m-so-not-wanting-to-be-in-my-crib cry. It was a I-need-you-now cry.

And it was Loud.

It’s funny that Tobin and I almost argued about who would go check on her. I won for a minute but told him to come up with me anyway.

When I opened the door Mae’ s nur

sery, it only took me a second to realize why she was crying. She’d gotten her leg wedged between the bars in her crib and it was twisted against the wall. It was virtually impossible for her to free herself from the position she was in.

But with the help of Tobin, her leg was free in just a few seconds. She cried a bit longer and wanted to be held and comforted by both of us.

Five minutes later, she was asleep again and is (hopefully) out for the night. (Thank you, God, for a daughter who sleeps peacefully through most nights. Really, thank You.)

After that little episode, I decided I needed to regroup and fight the writer’s block I’d been attempt ing to battle through for an hour with a long soak

in the tub. (Just a side note here, I take a lot of baths. That is to make up for the FIVE YEARS I spent without access to a bathtub.

For some reason, I felt you needed to know that.)

And while I was soaking and trying not to think,

I related my experience with Mae tonight to that of the Father.

How He recognizes our cries and responds to them.

He doesn’t always comfort us in the same way, but rather He gives us what He knows will best help us in that particular situation.

Sometimes that need is just a friend to listen or cry to.

Sometimes it’s an encouraging verse or Scripture passage. Sometimes it’s an e-mail or note from a friend.

Sometimes it’s a hug. Sometimes it’s alone time to teach me that He is enough.

But He always comforts, reminding me that He is near, even if I don’t always feel His presence.

Just my little piece of wisdom for tonight.

:) Happy Friday!

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, encouragement, what I'm learning

Rejected…Again

May 11, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

😉

Tonight after I picked him

up from work, Tobin and I headed to church for the blood drive being held there.

We have both donated blood quite a bit in the past, minus the five years we spent in Indo.

Really, neither of us have a reason NOT to donate.

We can handle the needle stuff, we’re both healthy, and we

both have good veins. (In fact, nurses used to comment on how quickly I could fill up that bag with blood. True.) And strangely, I find watching them put

the needle in my arm fascinating.

(I know, I know.)

We went through the initial Q & A, and I met the requirements, but Tobin almost didn’t. He hasn’t been back from Indonesia for quite a year, but in the end because of where in Indo we were, he got to give.

But I didn’t.

You know the dreaded finger prick

? (Yeah, that’s the worst part!) Both times they tried, my iron was too low.

So I was rejected.

Bummer.

Truthfully, I tried to laugh it off, but I was frustrated.

Mostly frustrated that I hadn’ t ea

ten a steak before I tried to give. :)

I supposed it could be worse. I mean, there are much more horrible things than not being able to give blood, right?

But to me, donating blood is a small way to be Christlike.

Maybe that pint of blood I give every once in awhile will play a part in saving someone’s life.

Just like the blood he shed saved me.

Life will go on today even though they wouldn’t take my blood.

But without the blood of my Savior, life wouldn’t go on.

Today I was rejected. (In a small, insignificant, almost silly way.)

But please don’t reject him. Because the blood he gave was the most precious gift in history.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, uncategorized, where I am

Giving It All

May 4, 2011 by · 3 Comments

A few scattered thoughts tonight.

😉

So I struggle with insecurity, and I’ve talked about that before. I think a lot of it goes back to life as a less-than-gorgeous, more-

than-slightly-awkward pre-teen/teenager.

Thinking back to that time when I was so unsure about myself…everything, and I do mean everything made me nervous. From trying out for the basketball team to running hurdles and playing in a band concert to singing a solo…every one of those things made those butterflies do backflips.

That’s a hard thing to get past.

Even in high school, I didn’t love being in front of people. I stayed with music because I really enjoyed it, I ran cross country, and I was in FFA. But that’s about it as far as extra-curricular activities go. FFA actually was pretty leadership-oriented.

On several occasions I had to get up and give speeches. Yeah, I wanted to throw up every time, but somehow I survived…without puking. :)

Then comes college. Heck, I was studying to be a teacher…that kinda meant I needed to get used to talking in front of people, right?! The first few speeches I had to give and lessons I had to teach were torture. Tor.Ture. I didn’t sleep at all the night before and would get so nervous that I’ d practically cry.

Eventually… a person kind of gets to

a breaking point. And I reached it.

At some point, this had to stop. I couldn’t keep going through life like this.

And so I made a choice…the choice to just do life. And the choice to quit worrying about what other people thought. And the choice to not be nervous. (Which still doesn’t always work…)

That was so hard.

I remember clearly when I was raising money for my mission trip to Peru.

I had to write letters…and that wasn’t bad. But I also had to speak at my church and sing a solo that night…and that was just about enough to put me over the edge.

Getting up in front of people like that…to me…is like completely throwing yourself out there,

nothing hidden, for everyone to judge. I was so stinkin’ nervous that night that I actually cried before I went up on the stage. I hated being that nervous.

Hated it.

The first ten or so minutes were absolutely awful, but once I got going, it wasn’t as terrible. I then realized, Hey, I can do this! And what a fantastic feeling to finish my talk, get

to the song, and not even be nervous anymore. (I’m pretty sure that’s the only time I’ve ever sung a solo and not been nervous.)

And even though I’ve gotten a lot better about being in front of people since that time, it’s still hard. And it translates to more than just talking or singing or playing an instrument.

The blog often makes me nervous.

Especially when I post things that I know not everyone will agree with. I feel like the bravery that it takes to push the publish button also brings with it a large, red “X”.

Shoot me down, shatter me.

My words are yours to tear apart.

The blog started out as a journey to process life and the things we were going through.

It turned into so much more. A place to have an opinion. A place to share my life, as much

as I choose or

choose not to, with my readers.

A place to have a voice.

And sometimes it scares me to have that voice that could potentially reach thousands of people. (Although I doubt that will happen!) But it’s also kind of a cool thing that so many people could be reading what I write.

I was thinking of all this and how it compares with having a relationship

with God. Sometimes He asks us to do things that are so far out of our comfort zones. He doesn’t ask us to hide behind our insecurities, giving only those things that make us comfortable, sharing just those talents that come easily.

He asks us to put it all out there.

Give it.

Throw it!

He wants it all…no matter the cost. Some things will be scary, some things will make us cry, and some things will change life to the point that it will never be the same.

But He asks for ALL.

What is my ALL?

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

How He Loves

May 2, 2011 by · 1 Comment

“All you need is love.” –The Beatles

I don’t typically quote the Beatles, although I do think there is some truth in this statement.

Love is that all-encompassing value.

No matter what we believe, where we stand on issues, or what personality type we are,

love is…and should be…that integral, overriding aspect that covers.

I’ve been thinking about love and what it looks like.

As a child growing up, I think I loved with the capacity that a child can. I wasn’t typically mean to other kids, I tried to be polite and helpful, and even though I struggled making friends, I’d go out of my way to be nice to the new kid. I even regularly gave away my belongings, which I think frustrated my mom.

:) I guess, in a child’s world, that’s love.

As a teenager, I was shaken and shocked by the amount of non-love I saw. Whether directed toward me or not, it was all around…a daily battle. To me, love was taking that time to accept all people…talk to them, speak kind words, and leave the meanness behind.

As an adult, love took on such a deeper, more sacrificial meaning. As a wife, I have learned (and still am learning) that love often means putting aside what I want for the good of my husband. It means pay attention to his needs and making those sacrifices when necessary for what is best for him. And for us.

It’s hard…and I fail far more often than I succeed.

As a mom, to quote what a friend said yesterday, love is being willing to throw myself in front of a Mack truck for my daughter…I’d do it without even thinking.

Although the love I have for my friends is different from how I love my husband and daughter, I do love them. As a friend, there’s nothing I’d rather be than there…even if it means staying up all night to cry, staying out late to laugh, or using up

all my cell phone minutes to listen.

That’s friendship, and I’m there…it’s how I love.

But how do I love my enemies?

One of them is dead…yeah, I consider Osama Bin Laden one of my enemies.

Pure evil, the kind that makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Last night when the news leaked out, my Twitter feed was full.

I have to admit that my initial reaction was right along with several that I read, Oh, yeah! We got that sucker!

Thankfully, I made myself stay silent…and consider things. I am learning that it’s not always best to share my emotional reactions with the world, especially in a place where my thoughts can be re-tweeted for all to see.

A friend even texted me, and I replied with a “YAY!”

I didn’t mean that YAY! in a negative, I’m-so-glad-this-jerk-is-dead way…just a what-a-victory-for-the-U.S. way. The people who suffered unspeakable loss on 9/11 now have some type of closure. After what they’ve been through, they deserve that much.

But a man is still dead. That man…as evil as his actions were…stood before God and gave an account for what he had done. And then he received his punishment…where he will spend eternity.

No matter how terrible someone is, the thought of him…or anyone…spending eternity there makes my stomach twist and turn.

Because God is not willing that any…ANY…should perish.

No matter what they’ve done.

On the day of 9/11, I was teaching third grade at a small Christian school in Wisconsin. I remember a certain boy from that class, who was usually on the quieter side and always very thoughtful, asking, “Miss Osmun, (yeah, I wasn’t married yet :)) can we pray for Bin Ladin?”

Holy cow, did he really just ask if we could pray for our enemy?

This eight year old boy?

And so we prayed…and he prayed the most heartfelt prayer of all. “God, I pray that Osama Bin Laden will get saved.”

We moved on from that moment, but I never forgot it. How at a time when it was so natural to not love a person, this third grade boy chose to love.

He chose to love just as our Father does…regardless of what we’ve done or how awful we are.

Because He knows that there’s still hope for us.

That’s just how He loves.

And now we have that opportunity again.

Hang on with me, ok?

Because Bin Laden is gone…and there’s nothing we can do to change that. (And I’m not even going to enter in to whether it was right to kill him or not. I, personally, think there are arguments for both sides.) But there are plenty of evil people still out there…enemies, as we would term them. People who do unspeakably awful things that we can’t even fathom.

And while understanding them may be impossible, praying for them is not.

Neither is loving them.

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

Who is God asking you to love today

?

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Diet Coke, Anyone?

April 28, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Ok, we are on the second week in a row of Diet Coke instead of coffee and a big fat headache.

Oh, shoot. That’s a bummer.

I blame it on the weather. Frustrating.

Today if you came over, you wouldn’t find me vegging on the couch…I’m not feeling quite as bad as last week. I’m just feeling busy, and (of course) headaches tend to show up on my busy days.

So I have clearly overcommitted myself in the next few days, especially since my in-laws will be in town for two of those days. I am trying to breathe and smile since most of what I have committed myself to are things I truly enjoy. Like music and coffee and more music. Oh, and royal weddings.

For a brief moment I entertained the idea of inviting a bunch friends over to watch with me at 3 a.m. But when the first person I mentioned it to was like, “Um, no,” I accepted the fact that none of them are as crazy as I am. I am still going to watch it. I will even wake up for a bit of the pre-wedding coverage, but I doubt I’ ll make it through the whole thing.

I’m going to watch the whole shebang in all of its pre-recorded glory at a decent hour.

(Thanks, Alison.)

I kinda wonder what it must be like to be Kate Middleton.

The girl is beautiful…and truly carries herself like a princess. I love it that she is so classy and just the girl next door.

(I really want to have coffee with her.) She is just the type of girl I want to see actually become royalty. (Listen to me, I sound like she’s going to be my princess or something!) As happy as I can be for a girl I don’t know, I’m happy for her.

😉 I wish her and Prince William a lifetime of happiness and love. (And may the paparazzi stay far, far away.)

Maelie has been a superb napper this week.

This is a very good thing since from the second she’s gone to sleep, the guitar has been in my hands for hours. I truly love to play and sing. Sometimes I wish I was better, but the fact that not all the notes are perfect doesn’t take away the pleasure of it. I love music.

And as stinkin’ nervous as I am about tomorrow night, I’m also looking forward to it. Music is one of my favorite things.

I also got to do something tonight I hadn’t done in eleven years…play handbells. I was not good. But it was still fun, there was a lot of mercy extended to me, and I’ve been blessed with the ability to laugh at myself, which was necessary several times tonight. Then I had praise team practice…it was nice to know most of the songs for once. 😀

I’ m starting to get the itch for real spring to show up.

Really, enough with these mid-40’s days. I’M COLD! AND I WANT TO BE WARM!

Ok, I’ ll quit ranting about the weather today.

Soon enough I’ll be complaining that it’s too hot.

Wow, I’ve been random today, which is pretty much the way I am when it comes to coffee…ahem, Diet Coke.

But I want to end with something from Bible study that really challenged me.

I’ve mentioned that we started a new Beth Moore study on the Fruits of the Spirit, and it’s good. Really good. She was talking about being filled with the Spirit and said, “There is nothing our fleshly desires can give us that is worth what they take from us.”

Wow. Powerful. I’ve been thinking about that today, and I’m not sure what it means for me…yet. But I’m thankful for those little things that God keeps giving me to think over and process. He’s working in my heart even if the words to verbalize what He’s doing aren’t there yet.

Wishing you all a wonderful (almost) Friday! Thanks for stopping by!

Sig

Filed Under: coffee, encouragement, music, what I'm learning, where I am

The Importance of Community

April 27, 2011 by · 3 Comments

The word ” community”

came up a lot when we were living overseas.

Over and over, it was stressed to us that living in commun

ity was important. I didn’t always exactly understand it…or do it well…but in the past few weeks,

the concept has come up in my mind again.

When you’re the new girl in town, “community” can be tough.

When we first moved here, I wanted nothing to do with the community in which I was being forced to reside.

But before long, I loved it. Really, truly loved it.

I live

in the “Old” area of Carpentersville, Illinois.

I love it…it’s like this “oldish” neighborhood with homes that have tons of character.

Personally, I love it that my house does not look like every other house on the block. The neighbors actually come out of their homes and talk to each other. Kids in the neighborhood ride

their bikes and stop to play with our dogs.

The couple diagonal from us hangs with the neighborhood kids and bakes them cookies. (And sometimes they share cause they’re just cool like that.) The older couple next to us are so sweet and love our Mae…they even brought her the cutest little furry stuffed bunny for Easter. Our neighbors across the street have become some of our closest friends and Aunt and Uncle to Maelie.

I love my neighborhood/community…really, who wouldn’t?

Beyond my immediate community, there’s the general area in which I live.

It’s several smaller villages (Seriously, that’s what they’re called…no idea why. Anyone?) that make me feel like I live in a small town…but with everything we’ll ever need within ten minutes of our house.

A few months ago some friends and I discovered a little coffee shop that hosts open mic night every other week. Yours truly is lending her vocal cords and guitar strumming to them this Friday…and hoping she doesn’t scare away the entire place or get banned forever. 😉 I was in there just chatting with the owner yesterday, and I love how I walk into her shop and we start talking like we’ve known each other for years.

I love, love, love my community.

Then there’s the aspect of church community. This one took a little longer.

We tried a few churches in this area when we first moved here and were very disappointed…maybe our expectations were too high? I don’t know. We ended up going to our current church because it’s where I attend a weekly Bible study…and we found an unexpected home there.

Wonderful people, great worship, and we’re being challenged and fed…which is so important to us.

In the past few months I’ve slowly joined a little of the blogging community, specifically through a few websites where I read and comment often.

Today, one of those sites posted this video that I just thought was amazing. It is so, so, exactly what the (in)courage community is all about. It’s worth your time to watch, but if you don’t have the time, at least check out

the site. I love it.

Last week one of the regular writers for this blog lost her daughter.

It was a beautiful thing to see the (in)courage community come around her family to support them, love them, and pray for them. It was also a reminder that community doesn’t always have to be physically present…that we can support and love each other online, too.

And…I’m excited to announce that in a couple weeks, I’ll be the daily guest blogger for this site…which I am so, so pumped about!

(But what I’m writing about? You’ll have to wait until then. :)) I so admire the (in)courage writers and am humbled that they are allowing me to share a piece of my heart with them and with all of you. I can’t wait!

I’m so thankful for community…and the many ways it has blessed me.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, encouragement, where I am

He Did It With Love

April 22, 2011 by · 1 Comment

On Wednesday Tobin bought me flowers.

Beautiful, vibrant, orangey-red gerber daisies.

My favorite.

We’d had a disagreement the day before, and I can’t say I had my most beautiful moments

during it.

I most definitely didn’t deserve flowers after it, either.

But he brought them home anyway, put aside his pride, and gave me something I didn’t deserve.

And he did it with love.

A little extra love for him crept into my heart that day, too.

And for the past few days they’ve been on our dining room table, brightening up the room and making me smile when I see them.

And reminding me of Christ.

Of how he freely gave me the ultimate gift of Love, despite my sin and many, many less-than-beautiful moments.

Of how he put aside his pride and endured the most humiliating, painful death just so I may live.

Even though I most definitely don’ t deserve i

t.

And he did it with love.

That makes me smile.

And love him more, too.

Thank you, Jesus, for a gift I can only receive and never repay.

May I live each day to reflect your love.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, Tobin
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