Little Blessings (Pt. 21)

February 5, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) My daughter’s newest phrase…belly “butt”. Golly, we laugh hard. Every. Single. Time.

:) Music. Praising God with people I love.

:) Random lunch dates that leave me encouraged.

:) Awkwardly wonderful conversations that I’m sure will make me smile for days.

:) Seasons. I am learning to appreciate winter…in more than one way.

:) Super Bowl fun…the friends were the best part.

And the food. Then the football. Not so much the halftime show…

:) A reason to look forward to Mondays. Got a few of them, actually.

:) My Father, Who is enough for every thirst and every need.

:) His precious promises.

:) Not being able to give up the blog-every-day thing yet…because I needed to count my blessings first.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, football, friends, just life, Maelie, where I am

Stretched

February 2, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Today I pulled 3.5 miles on my treadmill, which is pretty great considering the ridiculous situation with my knee. (It hates me.)

But before I run, I always take a few minutes to stretch. If I don’t, I pay for it by the second mile and can’t go nearly as far. I have to take the time to stretch out my legs…otherwise I hurt. I mean, I hurt anyway, but I have far more endurance when I take a few minutes to stretch those muscles.

I think God is doing the same thing to me.

He’s got me in this season of life that I’d rather not experience.

You see, I like spring and summer. I like it when things are turning green and flowers are appearing and the sun is shining. I like taking walks and drinking coffee on the porch and playing at the park.

I like those happy times.

Yet I’m not so much a fan of winter…when things are dead and buried…often being repurposed, but still.

Ugh.

The gray, the wet, the slush that too often follows a beautiful snowfall. De. Press. Ing.

I’ve been hanging out in winter.

For some reason there are things God is asking of me right now…ways that He is stretching me.

He’s stretching my Trust in Him.

He’s stretching my Obedience to Him.

He’s stretching my Faith in Him.

And if we’re being honest here, it hurts.

There are days when I feel like my faith is crumbling to the ground, moments when I don’t feel like trusting, even those times when I don’t want to obey.

Times when I feel like I’m dying more than I’m living.

But just like those stretches that are so necessary before a good run, I have to believe that He’s taking my heart and turning it into something better.

That He’s taking me and using me for something greater than I could have imagined.

That He’s making me a little more like Jesus.

If I’m willing to endure the stretching.

And I am.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am

Don’t Ya Love It…

January 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

…when your awesome, thought provoking, blog post for the night completely messes up the formatting of the entire blog and you have to delete it

?

NO clue what I did wrong, but yeah. Good times.

Bummer, ’cause I was excited to tell you all

about everything I’m reading/planning to read… all that stuff.

(Yeah, that’s what I wrote about…but it had some fun Mel humor in there, too.) 😉

Honestly, it’s been a cruddy week. I wish it was full of smiles and laughter, but I feel like the gray that chased the sun away this afternoon kinda matches the funk I’ve been in for a few days.

Looking for some JOY tonight… I think

I know what I need to do to find it.

We’ve been studying the Beth Moore book on the fruits of the Spirit in Thursday morning Bible study, and honestly, they’re all thought provoking. But this past week, the one on the faithfulness of God really stuck out and made an impression. I don’t remember her exact words, but she basically eluded to the fact that when something in life is hard, God will often deliver us through it rather than from it.

He’s teaching me. I’m learning. I don’t know if I’m learning enough yet, but I know He’s doing things. Changing my heart. Making me a little more like Him.

It hasn’t been a great week, but it does encourage my heart to know that my Father, the Giver of all things good, loves me, cares for me, wants what’s best for me.

And is faithful to me.

Just a little thought tonight. Hey, tomorrow’s Wednesday. Halfway there.

Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Scattered Purpose

January 30, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So, I couldn’t do it…I almost did.

I almost consciously let the day go by without writing.

And I couldn’t. I was watching the clock tick later and later, knowing that I had to make the decision soon.

Honestly, the first time is going

to be painful. I’ll probably cry.

And then I’ll find it easier to take a day off here or there.

I decided I couldn’t take the pain tonight. (Mostly ’cause my abs are killin’ me from last night’s workout, perhaps?!) No, really…I just couldn’t.

I spent the afternoon writing my next article for the Patch…I think it’s around 80% finished though I definitely need to work on some grammar issues I’ve got going. Does anyone else use the word really way. too. often.?

It’s like a disease. 😉

And as I sat at the computer this afternoon writing about life and blogging and everything in between, there was a word that kept nagging me.

Purpose.

To be honest, I’m struggling with finding mine right now.

I know I’m supposed to be a wife.

A mommy. A friend. A sometimes-writer, always-blogger.

A follower of Him.

But I have this nagging feeling that there’s something more, something I’m missing.

I pray and ask Him for more direction, but I just feel so scattered. Some days I’m convinced I’ll write the next best-seller, others I think I’ll go a completely different direction and go back to teaching. And still some, I’m content with life as it is, convinced that it’s His purpose for me.

But today’s not one of those days.

I have to continually remind myself that my Father’s purpose for me is far greater than I can imagine and that He simply asks me to trust.

I truly believe that this season for me is meant to be exactly what it is…being home with my family. Writing for free when I have time. 😉 Being a friend. Loving others…or trying to. Living a life for Him.

If it’s meant to be more, then I’ll know it. At least I trust that I will.

Reminding myself of that tonight…that there’s a time for everything, and each of those times are planned by Him.

He knows. He sees. He’s good.

And He’s enough…even when I feel scattered.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am

Just a Talk

January 29, 2012 by · 1 Comment

I didn’t really write much yesterday…so it’s been almost two days since I’ve shared any deep thoughts.

Confession? I was dying to sit down and write tonight, even if it IS closer to 11 pm than it is to 10. 😉

I’m having my post workout bowl of oatmeal with chocolate chips, finishing off a diet coke…and dying for a chat with you all. I think it’s funny (and ironic?) that though last Tuesday is long past, I still want to write every day.

I think I could be certifiably nuts.

But, as a side note, you really should put chocolate chips in your oatmeal. It takes away the need to add sugar and makes the really, really healthy, grainy stuff I eat (’cause it has a ton of protein) taste WAY better.

Now I’ll quit talking about oatmeal ’cause, chances are, you really don’t care. :)

Though you might care about the chocolate chips.

I do. 😉

Andre is lying at my feet…and it’s moments like this that I soak up.

I so rarely have cuddle time with him withOUT Sammy. He is still the sweetest, happiest dog in the world…and I find myself wondering where the last 8 1/2 years went. I know it’s the inevitable when you get a pet, but at the same time, I think every pet owner always wishes they could be the one exception. He’s wonderful. And healthy…and while there are no signs of him even slowing down, it still makes me sad to think that he’s getting older.

Ok, enough of that. I do NOT need to cry at 11 pm.

So I’ve unofficially committed myself to a 10-mile race in May.

YIKES.

That’ s a loooooooot of running.

So far I’ve talked two friends into joining me, and I think it will be good. (aka: I won’t die.) I’m planning to do a half in June, so really, it’s perfect timing.

And the fun part? I get to write about it after!

Yeah, I know I’m dork.

I’ll just admit that yes, I find JOY in running and writing.

Could I get any dorkier

?

Don’t answer that. 😉

Unfortunately my training needs to start for that race sooner rather than later. I should probably make a plan, oh, tomorrow. I am a teeny bit excited. :)

We leave for Spain five weeks from Tuesday. I haven’t booked hotels. I still tear up when I think of leaving Mae. I have no shorts that fit. (Very true.) We don’t have rides to the airport yet. (Anyone? Anyone? ;)) It feels surreal.

But at the same time, it feels good. Tobin and I have needed to do this for awhile. Not necessarily go to EUROPE…but take some time to invest in us. In all honesty, we’ve spent most of our anniversaries traveling between here and Indo or moving…I think six out of nine.

We always said we’d do something big for our 10th…and here it is!

So as uncertain as I am about a few details, I have to remind myself that some of the crazy trips we’ve taken in the past have left us with some of the best memories we have as a couple. No marriage is perfect, and we’ll be the first to tell you we’ve had our challenges. And nine day trips to Europe don’t fix things.

But they do give intentional time to focus on the relationship. And the good stuff.

There’s SO MUCH good. And I’m really thankful for that.

And now that I’ve spilled my heart about pretty much everything…

Go have some oatmeal.

And don’t forget the chocolate chips. 😉

G’nite, friends.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, running, travel, where I am, writing

Being Held

January 26, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So yesterday’s mail brought a new ch

apter in Maelie’s life…or at least, the beginning of a new chapter.

The POTTY CHAIR!

(Goodness…I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready for this thing we call potty training!)

Right now, it just sits in the downstairs bathroom, and she’ll sit on it, play with it, haul it into the living room. You know, the things 19 month-olds are supposed to do with a potty chair. 😉

Tonight she was sitting on it and saying, “Potty, potty!” So we did what any intelligent, sure-their-daughter-is-a-potty-training-prodigy, parents do…we removed the diaper and plopped her, cute little naked butt and all, on the chair.

She thought it w as gre

at and giggled and squealed for a couple minutes.

(But, alas, no actual potty.) As we were trying to pick her up to put her diaper back on, she fought us and ended up pinching her finger on something.

Oh, she cried. Squealed. Howled.

She. Could. Not. Be. Comforted.

I finally managed to get the diaper back on, her pants pulled up…and I held her close as she cried. The tears flo wed for several minutes, and

we ended up in the front room on the couch snuggling under a blanket as we shared a pillow.

It’s where she felt safe.

Eventually the pain (must have) lessened because she hopped down for a minute to go play in her kitchen…only to return, running to mommy’s arms, where she snuggled up again for several minutes.

This scenario repeated for probably half an hour…each time, she’d come running to me and want to be held.

What a beautiful picture. And reminder.

It’s been a couple months.

And there is far more meaning to those previous five words than most of you know.

To say it’s been hard, difficult, challenging…only scratches the surface.

Heart-wrenching, tear-stained…are far more accurate.

But those snuggles tonight reminded me that just as Maelie found comfort in her mommy’s arms, I can also always, always find comfort in my Father’s arms.

Even if I leave them to go try something on my own, I know I can always return to be held.

Loved.

Comforted.

When I talk about the last two months, I also need to interject that things are getting better. There’s no such thing as a perfect day, but I have a Hope that is certain…and that? Is comfort. :)

My Father is so very Good, and He held me and loved me exactly as I needed during that time. And I know He always will whenever I need Him to.

That’s incredible.

What love.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, Maelie, where I am

Just Because…

January 25, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Just because I can

?

No, truthfully…I sat down at the blog tonight because I want to. It felt strange for the entire day to go by without feeling pressure to sit down and write my required daily post. Maelie went down for her nap, and I ran three miles on the treadmill. Showered. Folded laundry and put it away. Picked up the house. Sent a couple e-mails. Got a lot done. It’s amazing the feeling that comes with freedom.

:)

And, yet, somehow I missed something. Sharing my heart, maybe.

It’s been an encouraging week. A few little things here and t

here that are giving me glimpses of what the future might look like. Nothing big, nothing too exciting, but something to make me feel that I have a purpose outside of being a mommy.

It will be fun to tell you more about that…later. :)

But I have to admit to you that yesterday, I almost signed on for another year of blogging every day because I was so afraid to let it go. And I make no promises…who knows? Maybe I will blog another 365.

Oh, wait…366. It’s leap year. 😉

But for now, I’ll just write because I love it. And that’s enough. :)

My hubby bought me a present to celebrate blogging for a year. I’ve really wanted to see this movie since it was in the theatre, and he came home with it today. So…this is what we’re doing tonight. After we eat ice cream ’cause I saved my calories for it. :)

It’ s a good night.

Back soon.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am

A Year

January 24, 2012 by · 6 Comments

Ok, so I literally typed the title of this post, and that’s how long it took for the tears to start streaming down my cheeks.

I have no idea why I’m crying.

No…actually, I think I have a little one.

A year.

A YEAR.

Golly, that’s a long time.

A year ago, I sat down and stared at a blank text box wondering how to start this new adventure. I decided to tell you the basics…why I do what I do.

I really had no idea at the time what barefootmel.com might turn into. Possibly, a place to share my heart on those days when God was speaking loud and clear. Or a place to share pictures of the new things my sweet, then-baby, girl was doing. Or a place to tell my funny culture-reentry stories. Or a place to cry. Or laugh. Or be crazy, adventurous, often-emotional me.

Mel.

Just being me on any given day, in any given mood.

You, my friends, have been such a part of this journey. You make me smile when you comment…and sometimes you make me cry, too. You make my heart happy when you talk about something I wrote.

Well, most of the time…there are always those posts that make us all wonder (myself included) what exactly Mel was thinking.

And then we just laugh, and that’s good, too.

I don’t often talk about how scary it was to move “home” to the States, though I tell plenty of the funny stories.

A year ago, I was still in scared-and-shocked mode. I was still figuring out this how-to-function-in-America thing.

And when I sat down to write that first day, I didn’t know that this would be where I threw all of that out there.

For you to read, offer advice, sometimes laugh (or roll your eyes!), and just be there.

Just the fact that you were here for me this year…means so much.

I think the tears came today, partly because I realized that I no longer have an obligation to my blog every day. I won’t be intentionally finding time every day to write, though I still plan on three times a week.

Or more.

It feels strange, almost sad…like a death. And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to tear myself away from the blog…because eventually there’s going to be a day when I don’t write.

But that’s a good thing…I think.

Words are such a gift…one for which I’m incredibly thankful. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t write…couldn’t share my heart. I can’t always do that when I’m speaking, but when I write, it just works. For me, it works.

But maybe the tears also came today because I have a lot to be thankful for. Including you. Thanks to each of you…for being a friend. For reading. For laughing. For loving me.

It’s been a life-ch

anging year.

And, most likely, I’ll be back tomorrow.

:) Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, remembering, where I am, writing

A Thankful Moment

January 22, 2012 by · 2 Comments

I had a little moment tonight.

It was sweet, it was sad, it was tear-jerking…it made me thankful.

I had to run to my (insert sarcasm) favorite grocery store to pick up a few things. Thankfully my list was short, but still…not my favorite activity to do ever.

But that’s ok…I’ll suffer so we can eat. 😉

I was trying to make it as quick of a trip as possible, and for the most part, it was.

But as I got to the checkout, I realized I’d forgotten coffee creamer…which is definitely not a good thing in our house.

So I reluctantly turned my cart around and headed back to get it.

It was then that I heard her

laugh…it was loud.

Joyful. That kind of laugh that makes you look because you want to see the child making such a happy sound just so he/she can brighten your day.

When I saw her, my heart skipped a beat. I smiled, but I had to fight back tears.

This little girl had some pretty severe burns/scars on her face.

It was sad for me to see…but I noticed something.

She was just oozing JOY.

Completely. Maybe it was because she was allowed to stay out past her bedtime to go to the grocery store

? :) As a kid, that would have made me happy!

It was one of those moments that made me smile and cry at the same time. And one that made me wish I had my sweet girl in my arms…just so I could love on her. Hold her close and be reminded that each moment is precious…

Part of me wondered this girl’s story, but I knew it wasn’t my place to ask. So I just smiled, moved on…

…and let that moment soak in while I silently gave thanks…over and over…as I finished my shopping and paid the cashier.

Sometimes I forget to say thank you for the things that seem so simple…a healthy daughter. The freedom to run and laugh. The ability to walk through the grocery store.

May I never forget to be thankful for those things.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, where I am

In My Imperfect

January 20, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I had a moment today.

The kind I wish

or~~ –>

I could take back, the kind that makes me cringe and shudder.

The kind worth blogging about…for just those reasons.

It wasn’t a bad day…just one tainted by that imperfect

moment when the human in mommy comes out in front of the daughter.

Something happened, and it made me mad.

(Someone hacked my blog again and posted some inappropriate stuff, just so you don’t speculate too much.

:)) A brief phone call trying to figure it out…followed by a few choice words uttered by yours truly.

I’m sure she didn’t hear them, she didn’t repeat them, they didn’t faze her whatsoever.

But they fazed me as I tossed them around in my head, over and over, wondering why I’d chosen them.

A few moments later, I moved on.

Yeah, I said a couple bad words.

A million will judge, and yet ONE loved.

He didn’t say it was ok; he simply died to save me…despite my imperfect.

It was a good reminder today. That I am not perfect. That I will make choices I shouldn’t…and need to accept the forgiveness of which I am so undeserving…and move on.

He is Love, He is Forgiveness, He is Life.

And He is all of those to me though I am imperfect.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, Maelie, where I am
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