My God-Sized Dream: I Dreamed Some Dreams…

May 28, 2013 by · 36 Comments

We’ve been walking the path of God-sized dreams together for a few months now. Will you share an update with us about your dream? Let us know where you are with it–the happy and the hard. Tell us how we can pray for you and your dream too.

In 2005 we packed our bags for parts unknown.

Bandung, Indonesia.

Looking at a map, I was pretty sure it was about as far away as I could get from the Midwest, the place I had always called home.

Nevertheless, we did it. We crammed our lives into a suitcase and seven rubbermaid containers, shipped our dog on an airplane, said goodbye to all we knew, and we did it.

Moved to Indonesia.

And it became home.

At the time, we had no idea that we were living a dream.

We were aware that living and teaching overseas was something we’d wanted to do for awhile.

We were even more aware that God had called us to do it. So we answered with a yes.

And we fumbled and faltered and rejoiced and celebrated and cried and loved and lived and so many other things.

It changed us forever.

We lived out a dream, one we didn’t even know we had dreamed.

And months ago…maybe even years ago…another little dream crawled into a corner of my heart. I wanted to take the Indo-stories and experiences my Father had given to me and put them all into one place.

Write a book.

I even gave it a title. Lessons from Indonesia: On Life, Love, and Squatty Potties. 😉

And so when my friend, Holley, accepted me as a member of her God-Sized Dream Team last November, what I expected to pursue wholeheartedly during this time was writing this book.

After all, this was the dream I had in my heart.

And I wrote the book.

I did.

Hours upon hours at a corner table in the Starbucks on 31, more hot-turned-cold cups of coffee than I can count, and more smiles and tears, too…

…and it sits on my laptop and on my nightstand and in the hands of a friend…in the form of 120ish pages and 37,000 plus words. It is my heart and soul, the place where I bled love and life and happy and sad and so many memories…and it is a dream in every way.

That rough draft, read by one other person so far, represents the journey to a dream…one that I need to keep pushing forward to achieve…by writing book proposals that I don’t know how to write yet and handing it to people…even if it’s scary and makes me bite off all of my fingernails. 😉

I was fully aware that this dream I’d dreamed was a dream that I wanted to chase with abandon.

But over the last few months, there have been other things that jumped into my path.

For example…this space.

Yes, it’s been around for awhile. :)

And I guess I never really set out to make my blog a dream when I started it all in 2011. It was always my safe place, a place to laugh and cry and love and share it all. Of course, like any blogger, having an audience is nice, but it wasn’t my dream at the beginning.

And then?

These beautiful women from all corners started to stop by. Leave some comment love. Invite me to their spaces and into their hearts and lives.

A community was created and the dream to keep writing and sharing and loving people through my words was born. Or maybe another dream just grew.

And a few months ago, I let a dream…one that had been locked up tightly…out into the open. I let the whole world know that I want to write for (in)courage someday.

There it is again. :)

And I thought that maybe this whole letting-my-dreams-spill-out thing was over.

Two big dreams, and I’d shared them both.

But God has a funny way of working in hearts when we make the decision to go with His plan. And He brought something else into my life.

Mercy Ships.

Not as an I-need-to-do-this-now dream, but definitely as something that has made an impact on my heart and could be a possibility for us down the road. That’s a bit frightening and heart-pounding to think about. So, for now, we’re just lifting that one up and placing it into His hands.

Now, several months after the dreaming began, I find myself looking at three, and probably more, dreams that have somehow taken root and grown and changed me.

Some days it’s all I can do to simply catch my breath and make the choice to walk another day by His side in obedience.

Walk hand in hand. Not run ahead. Not drag my feet behind.

The truth is that, with these dreams, I’m not sure where I am.

Yes, I’m pursuing publishing a book.

And. Slowly.

This process is not for the faint of heart. I’m finding that out, and the reality of how difficult handing my words over to other people is…well, it’s breaking me and it’s harder than I ever thought it would be.

And my dream of being a contributor for another blog…well, that one is in the works. It’s not for (in)courage, a space that I still love and would, someday, still love to write for. But there’s another opportunity, one that I am truly excited to watch unfold. Hopefully I’ll be able to share more soon. :)

And moving to Africa to live and work on a ship? God has said a clear, Not now. I am ok with this…more than ok.

In all of this dreaming, He has been teaching me the beauty of now.

I’ve dreamed some dreams within the last several months, and though things don’t look at all like what I pictured they might, I am truly enjoying the journey.

And I’m so blessed by each of you who have been part of it.

Happy Tuesday! Today we’re spending some time reflecting on our God-Sized dreams at Holley’s place. We’d love for you to hop over and be part of what God is doing in some amazing hearts and lives.

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: (in)courage, adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

What’s Coming…

May 26, 2013 by · 12 Comments

I ran a 5k yesterday.

It wasn’t my first, and it won’t be my last because I’m a runner, and even if I gripe and complain sometimes about the actually running part that comes with being a runner, it really is my escape and a loved and necessary piece of my life.

I hadn’t particularly trained well for this race.

I’ve been running about twice a week and throwing in a Tabata workout here and there, but my last two 5k distances were minutes over what I was expecting to pull in a race. So I think it’s safe to say there was some discouragement (and grumbling ;)) when I rolled out of bed yesterday morning at 6 a.m.

A friend picked me up at 6:50ish, and we headed down to the race area. She had looked at the course map, but I had decided a few days prior that I had no interest in seeing where the race was going or what hills may or may not be included. (I hate hills. With a fiery passion, perhaps.)

All I knew was that there was a finish line, one that I would be very happy to see.

And that was enough.

I pinned on bib #914, stuck the little timer-thingy (proper term, please?) on my shoelace, trotted down to the starting line with my friend, and we were good (well, ish) to go. 😉

melbeforerace

Here’s me before the race…and before I found out about all the hills. That’s why I’m smiling. 😉

The first mile is typically the hardest for me, but when I heard the time shouted out at the marker, it was encouraging to know I was still going to break 30:00 if I could maintain my pace. It seemed though, as I was approaching the halfway point…and perhaps the ridiculously painful hill (One of about TWELVE…ok, ok, I’m exaggerating. I think there were four or five.) that this feeling of I-can’t-do-this-anymore began to overtake my mind, and I couldn’t shake it.

I made the decision at that moment, as I literally struggled to keep my feet moving, to do two things.

First, I started singing whatever song about being strong that I could think of. (I’d left my headphones in the car.) Steven Curtis Chapman’s His Strength is Perfect, won that little contest. As a side note, I haven’t heard that song in probably a decade…no clue where it came from.

Perhaps I needed the truth found in those words?

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone; He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.

At that moment, truer words had never been spoken. 😉

And, second, I started looking around me.

Also at that moment, we were running the part that went near the river.

Confession? Even in my pain, it was pretty.

And the beauty that surrounded me pushed me through that mile and into the next, where the adrenaline finally kicked in and my strength returned. I wouldn’t say the last mile, plus the dinky little .1 added to it, was a walk (or run) in the park, but I crossed the finish line…

…the one I was beyond thrilled to see…

and there was such relief. Like, I’m-pretty-sure-there-were-tears-in-my-eyes, relief.

In the end, I was so thankful, I hadn’t known what was coming (aka: THE HILLS). Not only would I have most likely psyched myself out of trying and pushing myself completely if I had known how hard it would be, but I would have been too focused on just getting to my goal to find something beautiful along the journey.

How true is that in life?

How many times do I wish with everything in me that I knew exactly where the crazy of life was taking me?

…or that I could know how it will all turn out?

…or even simply for a promise that it will be beautiful?

I get so caught up in wanting to know what’s going to happen that I forget to focus on the gifts that come with each step along the way.

The lessons from that 5k run and the grueling 28 minutes and 58 seconds (yay for breaking 29!!!) yesterday are planted in my heart forever.

Yes, I will probably be a little more intentional about training for races in the future…

But maybe I’ll be a little more intentional about finding beauty along the way, too.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, encouragement, just life, running, what I'm learning, where I am

My God-Sized Dream: Rejection

May 21, 2013 by · 24 Comments

What part of your dream feels the riskiest? Have you ever had people misunderstand or disagree with your dream? What do you do when your dream is scary or when others don’t support you?

I was never that girl…the one boys lined up for, the one girls invited to their slumber parties, the first one picked for a team, the cool one.

And though those feelings were always present while I was growing up, the worst years were middle school and into high school.

Kids were mean, just because they could be…maybe it was fun for them?

I’ll never forget that day during my freshman year of high school.

It had actually started out a few weeks before as I was sitting at lunch with a few of the “friends” I usually ate with. We’d been talking about a few random things, and I confessed that there was a boy in my algebra class that I thought was really cute.

For some reason they thought this was information worthy of bringing up repeatedly, even if he was within earshot. Because, you know, it’s fun to be fourteen and Completely. Obnoxious.

Have I mentioned how much I don’t like mean people? And mean girls are even. worse.

They would talk about it often, seemingly day after day after day.

And what I didn’t know one day as I took my usual spot at the table? That they’d planned a little something.

How nice of them. 😛

One of them leaned over and whispered to me, Hey,                         wants to eat lunch with you.

I remember giving them a strange look and questioning them, but these “friends” insisted that he was expecting me to go over to his table.

Reluctantly I glanced over his way, and he saw me. My heart was pounding, but I took the risk and I picked up my things and stood up to walk over to him when all of his friends (and he was surrounded by at least eight or ten guys) grabbed their trays and left the table, leaving him alone with me walking toward him.

He looked at me, and we both realized what they had planned. And the look on his face said everything.

Sorry, I’m not interested.

Let’s just say I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I’m pretty sure I went straight to the bathroom stall, my favorite one on the end, for a good cry.

Rejection.

It hurts, stings, leaves a mark. It damages self-confidence.

I’m mature enough now to realize that those awkward, teenage years don’t define me as a person. I don’t think of them often, and I certainly don’t dwell on the day when I realized that those friends really weren’t friends at all.

But when it comes to dreaming?

Dreaming God-Sized dreams like writing books and being a blog contributor? (And maybe even working on a medical ship someday? ;))

I fear rejection. It kinda makes me shake in my pretend boots. (Hey, it IS flip-flop season. ;))

The day I handed over my rough draft to one of my dearest friends…the actual, physical, letting-go of the draft was painful. Here was my heart and soul on paper, and she was only the first in a long line of people who will eventually (hopefully) read it.

What if she hates it? (P.S. Thankfully, she didn’t. :))

What if I really am a terrible writer?

What if I get a bad review or a nasty critique?

What if there’s not a publisher out there who likes it?

Or, worse, what if no one buys my book?

I suppose these are things all writers stare down at some point…but this is somewhat new territory for me. And if I think about it all for too long, I start to feel overwhelmed.

And sometimes?

Completely terrified to keep moving forward…because, honestly, those next steps scare me.

And, for me, next is a book proposal. I kind of did things backwards, not realizing I could submit a proposal without actually finishing the book. But, hey…live and learn and do things in creative ways, huh? 😉

And I have to be honest and tell you that I listen to the enemy’s whispers far too often.

I let him tell me that my writing is no good and that no one will want to read it and that I’m a nobody in the bloggy world.

Thankfully, I know the Truth, but there are always those doubts.

Because with risk comes the possibility of failure. Of rejection. Of a confirmation of those feelings of inadequacy.

I have certainly failed in my life, and I’m not finished with failure, I’m sure.

From being a wife, mommy and friend to writing, dreaming, and doing, there are those days when I feel as if I’ve failed miserably.

Each day I have to remind myself that I’m His.

That this dreaming? It’s for Him.

And so I’ll pick up that rough draft again and pore through it. Pick out a few chapters. Send them with the proposal.

Allow my restless heart to beat fast and furious as I wait for a response, knowing that on the journey to a dream, there’s always risk.

But along with that risk is the opportunity for the Giver of my dreams to bless unexpectedly and wildly.

And that’s what makes this dreaming and doing worth it.

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Happy Tuesday, sweet friends! Thank you for stopping by and reading my words. If you’d like a glimpse into the heart of some amazing dreamer friends of mine, you can find us linking up at Holley’s place. We hope you’ll join us for some inspiration and encouragement!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, remembering, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: Another Dream?

May 14, 2013 by · 38 Comments

For next week take this “do what you can” step for your God-sized dream: Share about your favorite nonprofit organization. They are all God-sized dreams in action. How have they inspired you?

Friends, I just want to warn you that this turned into a novel. But, hey, if my dream is to write a book… 😉 Please read it anyway. Maybe it will change your life…I hope so. I know it changed mine.

~Mel~

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It’s safe to say that my husband and I have a heart for other cultures, overseas ministry, and making a difference in the lives of people we meet.

We spent several years with an amazing organization, the Network of International Christian Schools. (NICS) During that time we were living in Bandung, Indonesia, and working at Bandung Alliance International School (BAIS); Tobin as the IT Director/Yearbook Teacher, and I taught mostly upper elementary with one, extremely memorable, year of teaching preschool/art/random math. 😉

It was life-changing, to say the least, and opened our eyes to what truly experiencing another culture looks like. We loved Indonesia, and we also loved the people there; because when you live in another country that long, whether you plan on it or not, those people find a place in your heart. And sometimes occupy a large territory of it, too.

We stayed five years.

Therefore, I AM 5% Indonesia…and no one can take that from me. (However, if I live to be older than 100, I may need to reconfigure the percentage. ;))

Being part of NICS changed our lives…and lives are being changed all over the world. If you happen to be a teacher and are interested in overseas teaching, this is the organization to check out. There are twenty schools around the world in some amazing places.

In reality, the chance to be part of NICS and BAIS was a dream come true, even if we didn’t know we were dreaming it at the time. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And then we moved “home”…though, since living overseas, the word home is extremely relative.

We bought a house and are putting our roots down deep. I suppose things would look different if we didn’t have a family, but we do…and we want Mae to have a place to call home.

God has blessed us above and beyond what we could have dared to hope for…an amazing neighborhood and community, an incredible church, friends who are family and now a part of our hearts and lives forever.

But does that mean we’ll never go again?

There was a time in the last two plus years when I would have told you, Absolutely not; we’re here to stay. Forever. Probably with a theoretical foot stomp thrown in there because I’m like that. 😀 I look around me, and sometimes I just have to catch my breath because I’ve fallen in love with where we are. Pulling up those roots would tear up my heart, and I think I’ve always had it in my head that this is it.

And it really could be.

But God has a funny way of stirring a heart and reminding it that He’s got it all planned, and those plans are mapped out beautifully, according to what He knows is best for us. Not what we think we know.

He hasn’t called us to do anything else yet.

And He may not; so we stay and pour what we have into our lives here and now. I love this place and am incredibly thankful each and every day that we are blessed enough to call this place our home.

But I have to tell you a secret, one that made me literally weep all over the keyboard of my Macbook last week.

Lately, my heart’s been wondering…Could it be that we might go again?

I don’t know…I just don’t. 😉

What I know is that I came across this.

Mercy Ships.

I did not go looking for it. In fact, until last week, after Holley gave our assignment for this week, I’d never even heard of it.

I actually discovered it when a friend from Indonesia posted his sister’s blog on Facebook…she is a nurse for Mercy Ships Africa.

So, of course, I had to check out the website, which linked to a 60 Minutes special. (Which I’m going to post. Which you need to watch.)

I cried the entire way through it…all the while, letting more dreams take root in a corner of my ever-bleeding-for-someone heart. Because, of course, my husband and I don’t have medical degrees. Or plans to get them. Hey, it’s best to stay within your giftings. 😉

But in browsing their website, I discovered something…or a few somethings.

First, people raise their kids on these ships. For a long time, we talked about how wonderful it would be to raise Maelie on the mission field. And there’s a school…school = teachers. I do love to teach.

But guess what? They also need a writer…someone to write publications for press, someone who can give a glimpse into this amazing ministry, someone who can love these people and share their stories.

Can someone please come to my house and attempt to calm down my ever-racing, I-want-to-do-this, heart? :)

And, lo and behold, they need IT . Folks, he’s good. If the guy can deal with Indo technology for half a decade and not lose his sanity, I’m pretty sure he could deal with it anywhere. Even on a floating vessel. 😉

Those of you who know me will not be surprised that my ENFP brain couldn’t spin fast enough. Let’s go! Let’s go! it shouted…and potentially still IS shouting.

I may or may not have started packing our bags. 😉

And I’ll admit to you that I had to cry this out for a few days before I came to the place of truth. That place that said something like, Mel, not now. Maybe someday, but not now. Ok, that voice was most likely my husband. 😉 

It’s a truth I had to wrestle with…the one of joy in where He has us for now; the contentment of praying for His will and going if someday, He does say, Go; but staying if He says stay.

That wrestling ended up being good because a peace took over my heart, and I handed it to Him. I love that I can trust Him to show us if this might be in His plan…when it’s His plan. That day is not today…and it probably won’t be for several years. (Though He could definitely surprise us! Hello, Indonesia? Neither of us saw that one coming…)

But what I know is that I found myself completely fascinated, burdened, and stirred by this ministry that has somehow missed my radar for so long. It’s one where people are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus to some of the poorest of the poor…

Loving people.

Saving lives.

Making an eternal difference.

All of the workers pay their way for the privilege of being part of what Mercy Ships does. These God-Sized dreamers are my new heroes.

Would you consider supporting someone who is part of this amazing ministry?

You can go here to do that.

Friends? I think there might be another God-Sized dream taking root in my heart.

I have no idea what it looks like, but I can’t wait to watch.

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And here’s the clip from 60 Minutes…the best 12 minutes you will spend this week. If for no other reason than simply having your eyes opened, will you watch it? I want to be honest and tell you that this news clip is somewhat graphic and difficult to watch…and they warn you of that on the video. I ask you to watch it anyway.

Thanks for stopping by today, friends! On Tuesdays I link up with my dreaming sisters at our sweet friend, Holley’s place. Will you join us and see what God is doing in some brave and beautiful hearts?

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Mother’s Day Memories…and a Confession

May 13, 2013 by · 6 Comments

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.

Facebook reminded me, Twitter reminded me, pretty much everyone reminded me.

There’s nothing wrong with being reminded of that…because I’m a mama, a blessed one…and I love the fact that I’ve been able to celebrate the last three Mother’s Days with an amazing little girl by my side. (And, well, three years ago, I was about to pop, so there was definitely a reminder that she was about to be in my arms, too!)

MaeMommyPumpkinDays

And my husband and daughter treated me like royalty…I got flowers, a sweet card, more hugs and kisses than I can count, a cardigan I’d been drooling over but couldn’t bring myself to spend the money on, my favorite dinner and CAKE, shared with our favorite friends, and a NAP. Two-ish hours long and worth capitalizing every letter in bold. (The CAKE was worth capitalizing, too…long story, but I love CAKE {and my friend who made it!}. I think we’ve had this conversation a few times on the blog…) 😉

It was truly a special day, but I have to confess something…something I know that many can relate to.

There were so, so many Mother’s Days when I just hated the day. Hated the celebration, dreaded going to church with the inevitable, identify-yourself-if-you’re-a-mom thing. Stuffed down the wound that my mommy arms were empty and my heart even emptier.

I think it makes it hard for me to completely enjoy a day like this when I know there are so many women out there who ache when it rolls around…maybe for the same reason it was hard for me, or maybe not. They duck their heads and swallow the tears when the mamas at church stand up and receive applause.

I almost feel guilty for celebrating a day that I know brings so much heartache to so many…maybe it’s because I wish it could just be a day when we’re all celebrated.

I’ve been blessed beyond measure, and my story is happy. But to those of you who are hurting, I’m sorry.

You were on my heart yesterday…I just want you to know that.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, where I am

My God-Sized Dream: What to Give, What to Give

May 7, 2013 by · 31 Comments

Find a way to pay it forward. You’ve been encouraged in your God-sized dreams by your sisters here the last few months. How can you spread that encouragement forward by investing in other dreamers? It can be small and simple or BIG and wild. Ask God what you can do and get creative.

I read this last week.

I maybe went to hide under the bed after I read it. Or, maybe I just thought about hiding. 😉

And then I spent several days tossing it around in my head…

What to do, what to do…

What to give, what to give…

And then I landed on a Great. BIG. HUH?!

Zero direction. God? I’m a little confused.

So I walk a little on the crazy-dreaming side sometimes. Big surprise, huh?! 😉 I tend to come up with grand schemes and plans in my head, plans that often are really a little too far out there. (That’s why I am married to T…he keeps my head from completely floating off into the clouds.)

I’m also a gift-giver which does not always go well with being crazyish…again, thank you, hubby, for keeping me grounded enough that I don’t give away our second car or an all-expenses-paid trip to Bora Bora.

Kidding, kidding. 😉

It’s just that when I read this, God said Give.

Give what, God? What do I possibly have to give?

How do I invest in another dreamer when I’m wading through what exactly my own dreams look like?

And then I just took some time to think about my dreams…what He’s doing with them, where (I think) I’m headed with them, and what might be the next step.

I’m in that season of waiting and searching and praying…I’m not exactly sure what comes after dashing out a 37,000 word rough draft. I’m not exactly sure how to pursue being a writer for a bigger blog when it seems that sometimes I can barely keep up with my own space and life. And I’m scared of Twitter, too…which seems to be a necessary aspect to anything these days.

There, I said it. Really. Any and all Twitter advice would be greatly appreciated. 😉

Anyway, as I was tossing these things around in my brain and in my heart, He reminded me of a few things.

Prayer and encouragement.

They seem small, but I think of the times that, out of the blue, someone has sent a text of encouragement or offered a prayer for me…those mean so much to a tired and struggling heart.

And maybe that’s where I am right now, too…I may not have anything wild and crazy or earth-shattering to give or share, but I can

Pray.

Encourage.

Love.

And maybe there was a gentle reminder, too, that my eyes don’t always need to be on me. Maybe in this season of waiting and praying, He’s asking me to look and see what I can do for others…

Maybe someone needs a friend.

Or a safe place to cry.

Or a shopping buddy…I’m really good at that one!

Or a chitchat over coffee. I do that really well, too.

I’m praying God will keep my eyes open to what those around me might need.

How are you doing, friend? Is there something I can pray for? Do you just need a word of encouragement? Leave me a comment or send me an email. I’d love to pray for you.

And, who knows? Maybe I’ll be giving away an all-expenses-paid trip to the tropics someday soon. 😉

It’s Tuesday! My dreaming sisters and I are hanging out at Holley’s space. Come by and say hello…we’d love to see you there!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, prayer, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Brave

May 2, 2013 by · 48 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Brave

There’s this part of me that thinks I’m brave.

For one thing, I’ve done a few crazy things in my life…

Swimming in the Amazon with the pirañas.

Moving to another hemisphere.

Learning to surf in most-likely-infested-by-sharks waters.

Vine swinging in the jungle.

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Yep, that’s totally me. 😉 

I used to thrive on those moments that made me feel spectacular, the ones that were exhilarating, the ones that literally took my breath away.

But bravery? Comes in more forms than adventures that may teeter on the side of foolish.

When I think of bravery…I think of those people who inspire me.

Those sisters who write with abandon and passion and choose to stand on Truth even when lies are screaming all around.

Those dear dreamers who take their stories and lives…the broken but redeemed, cracked but shining,…all completely beautiful, and use them to bring Him glory as they chase with abandon what He’s called them to do.

Those sweet friends who walk in His grace and shine Him each day, no matter what happens.

Those are the ones who are brave. 

Inspiring.

And I’m so thankful for them. For each of you.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, friends, remembering, where I am

My God-Sized Dream: A Letter to My Sister

April 30, 2013 by · 34 Comments

Encouraging words from others help recharge us too. So take this “do what you can” step for your God-sized dream: Write a letter of encouragement to another dreamer in your life.

Honestly, when I saw this week’s challenge, I hit a wall. In so many ways, there were a dozen people I wanted to write to; and in some ways, I felt as if the words were hiding…they just wouldn’t come. But the more I thought about it, the more I was reminded of this woman…my friend and practically-sister.

She may be a dreamer in a different way, but she inspires me every single day. I know she’ll inspire you, too.

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Dear Missy,

We are sisters, you and me. You’ve known me every single day of my life…you know it all…and, still, you choose to be my friend.

Do you remember those days? The ones when we chased each other between trees, sometimes climbed them, played Barbies, sang sometimes-off-key-and-always-loudly around the piano, put on plays…and between those things, told each other our dreams?

Always, always…your dreams were this: grow up, get married, have a family.

Absolutely beautiful dreams.

And those dreams? They became reality.

I missed your wedding…you walked down the aisle while I was traipsing through Amazon jungles. But I thought of you.

And I smiled.

A year and a half later, I sat on your couch and held J, just days old. Though she didn’t join your family in the way you may have expected, she was yours from the beginning, beautiful, and belonging in every way.

I smiled again.

And then I got married, and the day before the wedding you told me about L, growing in your tummy. (Do you remember that I jumped and squealed?)

Four more have followed since then…and now there are six amazing blessings who surround you with love.

I smile even bigger.

I didn’t smile the day you told me. I cried buckets for you as you watched the other half of your dream walk away from it all…leaving hurt and confusion and a mess of wondering. But instead of watching you fall apart, I watched you, my brave and beautiful friend, pick up and go on, your faith strengthening with each step.

That made me smile.

Dear friend, the one who has more secrets on me than anyone, the one who knows of deep struggles, the one who has always been there even if the miles keep us apart…you have been a blessing and an inspiration to watch.

You have lived your dream…and lived it with a full embrace, even if it changed along the way.

You inspire me, your life speaks of Grace, you shine Him completely.

And that makes me smile.

Keep shining. Keep loving. Keep dreaming.

I love you, my sweet heart-sister.

In memory of Barbie bathtub fails, hidden tape recorders, and leading each other around blindfolded…

Mel

Missy&Mel

**************************

Happy Tuesday, friends! As always, my dreaming sisters and I are linking up at the lovely Holley Gerth’s place…we hope you’ll join us and be encouraged by the words of some incredible, dream-chasing, women.

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, family, friends, God-Sized Dreams, remembering, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: For Good

April 16, 2013 by · 18 Comments

Sometimes we feel alone not because we need to be with others but because God wants to be with us. Our lives are busy–especially when we’re pursuing a dream–and God may want to pull us aside for a bit.

{You’re Made for a God-sized Dream, Chapter Six}.

The most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it. Set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen. 

I don’t do alone well.

Nor, still.

That is not something I’m proud of; it’s simply a fact.

I feel most energized, physically, when I’m out running around, doing things, surrounded by people.

But this season? Has been very different.

Lonely would be the word I would use to describe it.

Not so much the kind where I am never around people; more, the kind where I’m struggling with things I’m not able to process with those around me…

…thoughts of feeling like my broken past defines my future. ..

…and that it means I can’t be somebody because of where I came from.

Time alone with Him was long overdue.

So, in some ways, taking a set time to be with God was a good assignment for me this week; in other ways, I was dreading it.

And my time with Him didn’t come in a way I would have planned it, but instead in the form of an exhausted, emotional, late-Sunday-night drive. The kind where, the tears were so thick and blinding, I probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. 

But I needed to be with Him…in a place where I was sure it was just Him and me.

And maybe it’s where I found honesty and where He spoke…or, maybe, I listened.

I cried out to Him, literally, and somewhere near the McDonald’s on 25, He answered with this.

I’m Tired I’m worn…my heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes, I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

I think that maybe…

Maybe…

On this journey to a dream, He is teaching me what it is I truly long for.

Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn,
Cause I’m worn

True, I dream of writing a book. The initial words are on the paper. I’m (slowly) tweaking, starting to research book proposals…moving forward. I’m excited about it. 

But I think I dream of more…the kind that makes a difference, does something positive.

The kind of more that reflects His love, demonstrates His grace, screams of His redemption.

I want to know that He can take someone who is so broken and still use her for His good.

That’s what I dream of.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

It’s Tuesday, and my dreaming sisters and I are linking up at our friend, Holley’s place. We’d love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, music, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

A Reminder of His Protection

April 15, 2013 by · 2 Comments

I don’t love to fly.

Which could actually be shocking to many of you, considering that my life, in general, has deemed traveling by plane very necessary.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that takeoffs and landings, especially, scare the b-geebies out of me. This, coming from a girl, who has endured at least two hundred of them. Yep, I still sweat and grip the armrests so tightly that my knuckles turn white.

So, you can imagine the kind of conversation that ensued when, Saturday morning I trudged out of bed (yes, I usually trudge for the first few minutes…not exactly a morning person), and his first words to me…

This is crazy…a plane coming from Bandung overshot the runway in Bali and landed in the ocean. 

So, like any curious, former-Bandung-Indo-resident, Bali-lovin’, girl would do, I immediately headed to the computer to watch a clip with him.

It kind of shook me up to see it.

We’ve flown all over Indonesia. Once, even with that very airline. We’re also (still) aware of the fact that several of the airlines there don’t meet safety requirements, and runways in several major Indo airports teeter toward the too-short length. There is one, in fact, that has been “officially” deemed too short, but it’s one we never actually landed on.

Seeing the footage sent chills up and down my spine as I recounted the many times we’ve landed on that very runway. (Prayers being uttered during every landing by yours truly. ;))

Once we watched the footage together (and laughed at how one of the announcers pronounced Bandung (friends, its Bon-doong, not Ban-dung ;)) we had to process it out, you know.

Or, at least one of us did. :)

Indonesia and Bali are both on our list for next year. We’ve been wanting to take Maelie there before she gets too much older…plus, if we’re going that far, we have to do Bali so this girl can hit a surfboard for a few hours. 😉 Well, and so we can introduce our girl to this little slice of paradise that is so special to us.

But, true to my personality type, I immediately freaked out. I guess there’s no way Maelie will see Bali now!

:)

It’s moments like that when I’m glad to be married to a rock-solid, albeit-slightly-a-little-too-steady, ISTJ like Tobin. Because his response?

Why not?

He gets it, and it was a short, not too earth-shattering (thought maybe plane-splitting ;)), reminder that my Father has it all figured out. The fact is that if our time to go…and if God chooses a plane crash for that…then there’s not a lot I can do to stop it.

I just have to trust that He’s got it all worked out for good…and I know He does.

I’m posting this video because, praise God, other than some minor injuries, everyone made it off the plane safely, which seems like a miracle when you see the plane. (It is also, in fact, shocking how close to shore that plane is.) We used to hang out at Kuta Beach and watch the planes come and go from just a mile or two away…crazy to think that a plane went down just that distance from where I surfed and boogie boarded. Wild.

Thanking my Father today for His protection of these precious people.

(P.S. My apologies for any potential ads that may precede this video…I tried to find the least-offensive one, but who knows what’s gonna show up. ;))

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, encouragement, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, travel, where I am
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