Chattin’ on a Thursday Night

September 22, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Hey friends.

I’m sitting here with my Diet Pepsi, wondering how long my eyes are going to remain open.

It’s been a busy day. Bible study and awe som

e, made-me-think-too-much video; hanging with the girl and squelching some crabbiness (thankful for naps!); getting some things done around here including making dinner for hubby and Mae; picking Tobin up from work; hair appointment; praise team.

Whew. I’m tired.

It’s been an emotional week.

Good stuff…some of it.

Some not so.

I’m hurting. I’m trying so hard not to dwell on the impending death of a friend.

I can’t believe the ache and tightness I feel in my chest when I think of her family and friends surrounding her, walking her Home. And letting her go. On the flip side, I truly smile with JOY when I think of her pain free, body completely healed, in the presence

of her Savior.

It’s a strange paradox to smile through pain.

And Sara consumes most of my thoughts and prayers these days.

I am thankful for that and what He is teaching me about JOY when things are hard.

When we don’t understand. When we can’t see but know that He can.

So I finished my song…the one I’ve been working on for two years.

(That bold line above is directly from it.) I was literally waiting on the bridge for two years, and it finally came two weeks ago.

I have to admit that I’m happy with how it turned out.

There are two people I want to hear it…then maybe I’ll post it here.

But I also admit to you that I’m not a songwriter or, really, a singer for that matter. I’ve wrestled with why I was even writing it for a long time because I have no intention at this time of doing anything with it.

I think it may have been part of the healing process for me in dealing with the losses through our failed adoption and miscarriage.

My heart feels more ready to move on now, if that makes sense. 😀 (Yeah, there’s a smile. A big one. Because I’m choosing JOY today.)

In “finishing” it, (aka: being able to chord it on the piano and sing it at the same time…yay for multitasking!) I feel like God is preparing our hearts to start praying about the adoption road again.

Two years ago, we swore we’d never repeat it…and yet, time does heal.

And He heals.

Praise God.

We really have no idea what the future holds for us as a family, but we know that our Father does.

And that’s enough. So right now, we’re praying. Just praying. Taking things slowly and waiting on His timing.

Thanks for praying for us, too, friends. :)

And because this is getting way too heavy…

This week I got rid of all the bad food in the house. (Ok, I need to rephrase that.

There’s still a little in the house because the other two residents need to survive!) I’m drinking protein shakes, eating a LOT better, and treating myself with the occasional Clif Bar.

Four days later my pants are already looser.

Woot woot! (However, I do not want my weight to become an obsession, so we’re not going to talk about it

too much on here. If you’re that interested, e-mail me. ;))

I will say, though, that I am very thankful

that I somewhat enjoy working out and eating things like rice cakes and zucchini. True story.

This has been a random collision of emotions tonight. Thanks for riding along.

Some nights my thoughts are allowed to be all over the place, right? 😉

G’nite, friends. You bless me.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, music, prayer, where I am

Choose Joy

September 21, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

To be honest, I’ ve tried to write this post about twel

ve times.

The words just aren’t there…because sometimes, there are none.

L ast J

anuary I started a blog. And in starting that blog, I also looked around.

Found a few blogs. (Or more than a few…ahem.) Have visited them several times a week since then.

I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve gotten angry a few times…but it’s been so good to be a small part of this kind

of community.

And one of the blogs I stumbled upon was written by a woman named Sara.

(aka: Gitzen Girl) Gitz’s blog immediately became one of my favorites. She has a way of sharing her heart, her faith, her JOY… through her words.

In fact, she chose the title Choose Joy for her blog…and I truly believe that she has demonstrated

that through her life.

It was only after reading a few pieces she’d written that I poked around her blog a little more and found her story. Sara isn’t just a writer with a gift; I found that she is a writer with heart, and through her words allowed her readers, her friends, to share her life and her struggles.

Sara suffers from Ankylosing Spondylitis. (You are really better off reading her explanation. :)) She hadn’t left her home for years. She missed her own father’s funeral. She missed out on so many things that are part of normal life that each of us take for granted.

And yet, she didn’t complain.

She just loved.

It was what she did so well…for all of us.

Even those, like me, who never got to know her in person.

But we still knew her because she wanted us to.

Last week Gitz found out that her battle is almost over.

She’s on her way Home.

When I pulled up her blog yesterday and began to read, the tears just flowed.

Then they turned into sobs, and I realized just how important this online community of friends is.

We may not be physically next to each other to offer a hug or a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, but we offer so much more…

Just as Gitz did.

We offer our lives and our hearts…out for the world to see.

A chance to know us just a little.

Or a lot.

I never had the chance to meet Sara, but I can tell you that she is leaving a huge hole in this circle of friends. Not only will I miss the JOY she shared each time she’d write….

I’ll miss her.

My sister in Christ.

And my friend.

Sara wrote a beautiful piece that I actually read a few months ago when she first wrote it. For a girl searching for “home” for the last year, I guess it met my heart where it was at the time.

And now, it takes on a completely new meaning.

Eight months is not a long time to know someone, and yet Sara has passed on a lifetime of wisdom to each of us.

And that wisdom is simple…no matter what,

Choose Joy.

I want to hang on to those two words for the rest of my life and never, ever forget them. Never let them leave my heart or my life. I will choose to find the joy that surrounds me each and every day.

Thank you, Gitz, for all you are.

I will miss you, my friend.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, where I am, writing

The Great Schroeder Adventure…Day 7

September 17, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So…I deprived you of precious Children’s Museum pictures yesterday. Sorry about that.

Here is Maelie in all of her cuteness as she explored everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING…and it was so much fun to watch. I’ll be honest that the first picture is not exactly what I would choose, but we got a good laugh out of it and that’s why we posted it :)

 

 

 

 

This morning we headed to watch Z play soccer. Maelie loved playing with a zillion kiddos and wandering around making new friends. Then we headed to Corky’s for lunch. Let me just add here that all BBQ is NOT created equal. Most definitely worth the drive. (And the calories, which I will spend all of next week running off…) For those of you interested, I had a BBQ chicken sandwich, slaw, and hush puppies. And we shared BBQ nachos, which there is no photo of because they didn’t last long enough for me to get the camera out. Oh, yum…

Then we spent the afternoon back at the house before going to some friends’ house for dinner, friends we stayed with two years ago when we were advisors at PFO. It was so good to see them again. (This is a picture of me with Natalie, who we stayed with during PFO, and Sarah, our good friend from Indonesia.)

The Great Schroeder Adventure starts to wind down tomorrow. We’ll be leaving Mississippi in the early afternoon, and we’re hoping to make it more than halfway before stopping for the night. I should be able to blog, but if I can’t, it’s because the hotel doesn’t have internet.
It’s been really great to see friends…to let our worlds collide a bit. It’s always different to see friends from Indonesia in the U.S. but cool to see how the friendships remain…and how they aren’t limited by location.

I’ve been so blessed by the people I’ve met through each chapter…each friend adds something different to my life.

So many reasons to be thankful.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, friends, just life, Maelie, The Great Schroeder Adventure

Living Love

September 10, 2011 by · 2 Comments

So I’ll be the first to admit that the blog has been a little dry the past few weeks.

Like I said before, I’m not exactly uninspired…just lacking good sentence structure, maybe

? 😉

Or the emotional ability to be transparent.

It’ s been an overwhelming week.

Exactly one week ago, we were facing a very busy eight days before leaving for vacation and talking about how much time we’d need to spend on the fence to get it finished before we go. (This was to make life easier for the people taking care of our dogs. Two crazy dogs + no fence = no fun for anyone.)

Then? Less than an hour into the project…

It snapped. (Literally.)

On the second fence post hole, which my husband was using a power auger to dig, he hit a rock, it jerked, and broke his wrist. Tobin actually finished the holes and did some more work on Sunday, too, but by Sunday night, we knew that he needed x-rays.

Monday morning it was confirmed that his wrist was broken, and we spent that day wondering how on earth this fence was going to be finished in time.

That’s when Jonny, our friend and neighbor, told him not to worry…that the fence would get done.

During the past several days, Jonny and his son have spent countless hours at our house, finishing the fence this afternoon.

And I have to admit to you that I had a hard time accepting this kind of generosity at first…how on earth do you return this kind of love

?

Because that’s what it is, friends…LOVE.

I have been so challenged this week by that word and all it carries with it.

Because Love

is a Verb.

And this week we’ve seen that Love.

Living Love.

It’s so, so easy…to say it, to believe it…

But to actually demonstrate it?

Well, when it’s shown…it reflects Christ.

And that’s what we’ve seen this week.

.. through our dear friends.

Some people have questioned the changes in our lives this past year…including joining a Lutheran church. But as we returned from Indonesia last year and began searching for a new church, we pretty much threw out denomination as a deciding factor.

The two deciding points for us were that the church lives the Bible and that we see the love of Christ in the people of our church…not in the words they say but through their actions.

It’s humbling; at times, it’s difficult to grasp; but it’s genuine.

And we’re learning to accept it…as a gift from people who love us, knowing that it’s not possible to repay. Just to love back.

And if this lesson in love weren’t enough, yesterday I came home to see that our yard had been cleaned up. (We have a dozen raccoons living in our trees who had made quite the mess.) I found out later that our sweet neighbors, who are in their 80’s, had come over that morning while Mae and I were gone and cleaned up the yard.

Five big lawn bags worth.

Living Love again.

I can’t look at my yard right now without tears filling my eyes.

Because…we’re loved. Not just by our friends and neighbors but by

our Father.

The One Who sent His Son to live out Love on this earth and give us that perfect example.

Exactly what we’ve seen this week.

I know I have a long way to go, but if there’s one thing I want for myself, for my husband, for my daughter…it’s the capacity to Love just as we’ve seen this week.

To Live Love.

Our clean yard.

:)

Jonny working on the fence and helping Mae put her handprint in cement. :)

What about you

? How have you seen living love in your life?

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, friends, what I'm learning, where I am

Little Blessings (Pt. 7)

September 7, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

:) Getting to sit down for the first time since noon.

(It’s almost 10 p.m.)

:) Iced coffee. Even better when it’s free.

:) My hubby rockin’ a bl

ack cast almost to his elbow.

It is as cool-looking as cast can be.

:) A faithful dog named Andre who is sitting by me,

giving me his sweet, puppy smile.

Oh, wait. I have a sandwich.

That’s why he’s sitting by me.

😉

:) Starting to feel a little better? This cold is kicking my butt.

:) Awesome friends and neighbors who are going way above and beyond friendship right now to help us finish the fence before we leave for vacation.

We love them and are so, so thankful for them.

(This blessing isn’t little. At all.)

:) Netflix streaming. Maelie loves Blues Clues. :)

:) Watching my daughter climb steps and go down a “big” slide by herself at the zoo today.

:) One of the best weekends I’ve ever had. Really. Even though Tob broke his hand. (It probably wasn’t his best weekend, though!)

:) Loving life.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, random

Labor Day

September 5, 2011 by · 2 Comments

It was fun…well, most of it. :)

We actually had a really wonderful weekend… which I may chat more about later this week.

But to day

actually started out with my hubby taking a (planned) trip to the ER for x-rays.

The results? A broken hand.

His right one.

(Which, by the way, has been broken since Saturday.) Not good at all. Pray for him, please…it’s Tob’s busy time at work, and he’s feeling extra pressure to be productive because we’ll be on vacati

on all next week. Right now he has a temporary cast until he goes to see an orthopedic doctor later this week…then he’ll get the real deal. There’s some concern with the particular bone that he broke, so please pray for complete healing and patience for both of us.

Definitely NOT what we

were expecting, but nothing surprises God.

Moving on from the broken hand, though, we did have a good day.

We had a kind-of-last-minute lunch with some friends down the street we hadn’t seen for awhile. It was good to catch up a bit and eat probably the best burger I’ve had in months. :)

While Maelie was napping we played a little bocce ball, and Tobin managed to beat me left handed.

Well, then. I guess we know who reigns supreme in bocce world…even with a broken hand.

We headed across the street for a cookout with some friends (including some new ones :)) and it was a lot of fun. Maelie loved being the center of attention, probably a little too much.

Great food, yummy dessert, and just good to hang out with cool people. :)

Then we came home and ended up hanging out on our lit-by-white-Christmas-lights porch with our friends/neighbors Tim and Lex. Some good chatting…and some deep conversation.

Good stuff.

It really was a wonderful day.

Feeling very,

very blessed.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, Maelie, Tobin

Thankful

September 2, 2011 by · 4 Comments

Today…I’m thankful for a lot of things, but right at the top

of the list these days is my friends.

For those who are there to laugh with over silly things…just because it feels good to laugh.

For those who let me cry when I need to and don’t point out that I tend to be drama some times

.

For those I can call at really random hours just to say, “Hi.”…and that “Hi” usually turns into 20-30 minutes of much-needed chit-chatting.

For those who never change…so even if it’s been months or years, we can always pick up and start again.

For those who tell me things I need to hear even if I don’t want to hear them…and tell me in a way that doesn’t crush me but makes me think.

For those who will spend an afternoon, sometimes a long one, hanging out and drinking coffee…when there are other things they could (and probably should) be doing.

For those who take the time to love my daughter and treat her like she’ s one of the coole

st little girls ever.

For those willing to share life with me…someone they may or may not have known for long.

For those willing to listen and love and accept.

For those who forgive me when I screw up big time.

(Have had a few of those lately…)

For those willing to randomly break into song with me, especially in public.

Bonus points for public.

For those who take the time to read the random, often goofy, musings of a wife and mommy who loves to write.

For those who Love.

Love you all back.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends

This and That

August 29, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

First up, because Mae and I are really into self-photos right now…or maybe just I am. 😉

:) I love this picture.

She was totally being a goof, even though you can’t tell. It made me laugh.

(And? My hair looks really good. I like those days.)

And a few other things…not sure if they are all deserving of smiley faces, but I will go ahead and tack them on in an effort to smile through ALL things.

:) Worked out tonight.

I still feel out of shape.

I did run a ten(ish) minute mile Saturday morning, though, so maybe I am getting there again. My goal is to break 30 on the next 5k I do.

We shall see.

:) I am not so happy with the biker dude two blocks down who decided to roar past my house three times this afternoon while Mae was napping.

T he third time

he woke her up for good. Grrrr…this mama marched herself outside to let him have it good.

And then chickened out.

:) I found my new favorite nail polish.

Less than $2 at Target, dries in a minute…and doesn’t get all clumpy, which has always been my experience with that kind of stuff. Maybe I can even paint Maelie’s toenails soon!

:) Andre = annoyed with Mae. He crawled under the porch furniture today and wouldn’t come out until she was napping.

That may have something to do with the fact that she was crawling all over him. Sammy, on the other hand = LOVES her. (And licks her to death until I yell at him to stop.) Haha.

:) I made these tonight. It is probably a good thing I worked out. (And I totally tweaked the recipe…I don’t deep fry ANYTHING.

It works fine to just pour little oil into the pan.) Make them for yourself…they’re really yummy!

(But don’t forget to work out after you eat them.)

:) I realized I never posted (or finished, for that matter) my deep blog post from a few days ago. Guess I better get on that, huh? Funny how I can write something in my head for days, but I sit down at the computer and the words leave. No fair.

:) Starting to get a teeny bit excited about going on vacation. (Though I am an expert packer, I do not necessarily enjoy the prep part of taking a trip.) Really, really looking forward to seeing friends we’ve missed. I can’t believe I get to hug them in TWO weeks! (This one is totally deserving of a smiley face!)

:) I think…that is all.

:) G’nite!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, random

Infinitely Mae

August 24, 2011 by · 1 Comment

I failed mommyhood today.

Like, an epic failure…it was not pretty.

I’m not sure why…but I was frustrated, annoyed, not at ALL patient, and almost-mean… to my daughter.

I hadn’t seen her most of the morning because I was busy with something and Tobin had the morning off. I literally spent an hour with her, and all of a sudden she was just…difficult.

Translation: she was ONE.

It was hot, she was getting into everything, and so I thought that was the perfect opportunity for her to play in her pool. We suited her up, I plopped her in, and all was good.

For two minutes.

Then she decided to play the game, I-love-to-get-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-my-pool.

40 times.

In between those times, she’d take handfuls of rocks, play with them, try to stick one (or more) in her mouth. You know, the fun things that one year olds do to drive their mommies crazy. :)

And somewhere in there I just got annoyed.

I had been trying to watch my girl and catch up with a friend on the phone at the same time…and Mae was making that hard.

I gave up after about twenty minutes and took her inside, gave her an afternoon bottle, and put her down for her nap.

And then I felt horrible.

What was it that Mae was doing SO wrong? Nothing, really. Other than being herself.

She woke up around 4:15, which gave me time to play with her before I had to leave for my hair appointment.

As I was soaking up the Mae-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-cuddle moments, I started to make up a song for her.

And some where in the song, the words, And you are infinitely Mae, came out of my mouth.

She giggled, I smiled…and then I realized how true those words were.

It’s exactly who she is… the best possible Mae in

the world.

There is no other person in the world who can be Maelie better than she can.

Sure, she will do things that get on my nerves.

Of course she’s going to get into trouble…she’s one year old and curious.

Yes, she will put rocks in her mouth occasionally because that’s just what kids do.

And every day, she will melt my heart because she’s my girl.

We’ll have days like today sometimes.

When they happen, I need to do two things.

Work on replacing my impatience with love. And have more grace for myself, too.

I love my Mae… and all that she is.

Even on days like today.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning

Little Blessings (Pt. 6)

August 22, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

:) Two happy puppies who, despite being overly exuberant at the thought of breathing, truly make me smile.

I need that today.

:) A daughter who gets into everything…but at least she keeps me laughing most of the time!

:) Have you ever eaten this? You should.

:) Catching up with a friend and missing her like crazy. It’s good that I m iss her because that means the friendship

is still there across the miles.

:) Roasting marshmallows and remembering with my hubby.

:) Watching Maelie push her car up and down the sidewalk because she’d rather PUSH it than RIDE in it. Funny girl.

:) W atching my dogs try to climb

a tree to get to

a raccoon.

The mental image of them climbing a tree is just funny.

:) Back Porch time…definitely a good way to end a day.

:) Finding the blessings in a day that wasn’ t an easy one.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life
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