A Barefoot Life

When I went I away to college, I was barely 18. (Read: just weeks into adulthood.)

There were a lot of rules going on at my small, Baptist college (another day, maybe ;)) but the one that nearly destroyed my college career was the you-can-only-miss-three-weeks-of-classes-per-semester, any-more-and-you-fail rule. No exceptions.

At face value, this rule didn’t seem like much. Who plans on missing that much school?

What I didn’t factor into the equation was the possibility of sickness.

Two weeks into the semester, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. I missed my three weeks, but I was adamant that I would not fail my classes and headed back to school even though I probably shouldn’t have just yet.

It was a tall order to fill…if I missed any one class another time, I would automatically fail it. (Let me just point out here that at a college with 7 a.m. classes, oversleeping was an entirely realistic possibility. Especially for a girl who loves her sleep. :))

I went back determined…and I did ok for a couple weeks until I heard two girls talking about me. (They have no idea, to this day, that I heard their conversation.)

She’s never going to be able to do it. She’ll give up and go home.

At the time, the words sliced like a knife. I couldn’t believe that at a Bible college, people were being anything less than supportive. (A bit naive, perhaps? ;))

I found myself tucked into a corner in my dorm room that night, knees huddled to my chest, crying my eyes out…So. Ready. To. Just. Quit. I had started to believe what those girls had said was true…that I could never do it. That I should just give up.

I’m not sure at the time if it was more because I wanted to prove those girls wrong (which I totally did…YAY me!) or if I wanted to obey God. I knew He wanted me to be a teacher, something I had dreamed of for years, and a failed semester with all of that wasted money would only put that dream even further out of reach.

And so I stayed, wading through life a day at a time, praying I could somehow do it all. I didn’t come out of that semester with straight A’s, but I did make it.

***************************

And now here I am. Still Mel.

A little wiser and maybe-a-little older. 😉

Wife, mommy, friend, blog-writer, hopefully, soon-to-be, published-author.

There are those days when the enemy whispers discouragement and frustration into my already-doubting heart. The sad thing is, sometimes he uses people to do it.

I had a situation recently where someone said something that literally about destroyed me…they had a hard time believing I’d follow through.

The logical part of me gets that…I do, I really do.

I’m extremely fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I get passionate about something and dive ALL-IN, sure that the entire world around me can’t wait to join in the fun.

But the emotional, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve side needed to get the tears out first.

And after I’d cried about it for probably-too-long, I talked to God. I even admitted to Him that sometimes I have a hard time following through. As if He needed me to tell Him that. 😉

But He was so Good, bringing me back to this scene from college, one that I had almost let ruin me and my future, because I’d allowed a lie to creep into my heart and take root.

The lie that said I couldn’t do it. Just because someone else didn’t think I could.

We dreamers…that’s including any of YOU who have ever had a dream…are in a vulnerable place. It takes courage and confidence and strength to put those dreams out there for the world to see. It takes even more of the above to push forward and follow those dreams with a curious audience watching. It puts us in a place where it’s very possible there will be word-throwing and ability-bashing.

And sometimes failure.

We just have to keep going. Trusting. Following what He’s called us to do.

I’m not going to tell you all that I’ve completely forgotten those words that were said to me. I’m extremely thankful that there’s been resolution, and I’m holding nothing against that person. Hugs have been exchanged, all is good.

But I’d be willing to bet that it’s not the last time this kind of discouragement is going to creep in, but rising above it and pushing forward is what my Father wants me to do.

Remembering that it isn’t about proving someone wrong…it’s about following what I’m called to do.

My dear friends, dreamers…follow your calling. Don’t let people get you down. Do what you know you need to do, and never forget that

The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
1 Thess. 5:24 (NIV)

Want to read more stories of how God-Sized Dreams are being realized? Click on the button below and hop on over…we’re linking up every Tuesday to share what God is doing!