Lately I’ve been
fighting distraction.
Though I can be a little scattered, I tend to be focused on the important things in life throughout my day…especially on being a mommy.
The past few weeks, I feel like I’ve let distraction and worry interfere with my relationship with Maelie.
I’ve been tired and less motivated to play with her. I more easily give into her pleas for another “Melmo” episode or graham crackers in the middle of the day.
And while there haven’t been any really serious repercussions from this, there have definitely been more crabby moments (for both of us) and temper tantrums (not for both of us). 😉
I had a conversation last night with a friend and I mentioned that I felt as though I wasn’t being a very good mommy to my girl…and admitting that out loud made me really stop to consider…
How I don’t want to miss those moments I can’t get back. Like this one…goodness, she did her own hair! The only part I had in this was flying down the stairs like a crazy, superhero-ish chica to grab the camera before she took everything out. 😀
How my daughter is watching everything I do. And how, when she watches me, I want her to observe me being the best mommy possible.
That my attitudes and speech are all-too-easily mimicked by her…as evidenced by her repeating the word crap today. Yeah. And my first thought? Did I really say that? Yep, five seconds ago…
That I want to make good memories with my daughter…and not just remember the temper tantrums and less-than-wonderful moments. I want the nights when she snuggles up to me while I sing and the days we chase each other through the house “playing” hide and seek to outweigh those other things a million to one.
We are finishing up the Beth Moore Bible study, Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit in my Thursday morning study. It’s been excellent…and we’re on the very last one, self-control. I am seeing more and more, not just how important it is for me to have self control in my life…but it’s also important that I choose that control when it is so much easier to do or say something else.
Today was good.
Much better than the past weeks have been.
We giggled together and did some spinning. Read books and played with baby dolls. Went on an “adventure”. (aka: anything outside the house ;))
Tonight I had to leave before she went to bed to get a few things done. When I got home she was still awake, and so I went upstairs to see her. She reached out her arms with the biggest smile on her face, and I picked her up, held her close to me, and sang the song we sing every night…All Through the Night. She fell asleep in my arms, I kissed her, and put her back in her crib.
Those are the moments from this precious time that I want to remember.
You sound like such a wonderful mommy. Mae is blessed to have you and Tobin to love and dote on her and take these pictures of her that she will look at over and over when she is older. I’m so happy you and Tobin get to be parents.