In Summer…

This is, like, the most bizarre time to blog ever. EVER.

It’s late on a Sunday night. I just finished a weekend of volleyball playing, topped off by a sprained hand (Awe.Some.) and being mama alone 24/7 thanks to hubby working about that many hours on the big company move. I just put my girl to bed amid the longest and loudest giggle fest we’ve ever shared…You are so very welcome, I say to my neighbors who have the blessing of windows that face their house.

We’re kind of all tired, to say the least. And some one of us is most definitely subsisting on Coke Zero and Tylenol as she sort-of types, under the glow of Christmas lights, while a purple My Little Pony with freakishly-yellow hair stares her down.

I can’t make these things up, friends. 😉

But the words…well, they’re burning. Through all of that, even.

And so, on this late-June evening, here they are. Because I’ve kind of been thinking through some things.

So, I love summer.

LOVE it. (Profound, I know.) 😉

In fact, I might be doing a little Olaf-dance around the back porch in between sentences right now. In summerrrrrrr!

So good. SO.

Summer for me signifies lazy days. A bit of sleeping in on those non-running mornings. 😉 Coffee on the back porch. (Friends welcome!) Park adventures with my girl. Backyard swimming. Constant flip flops, or even bare feet. So much of fun to be had.

And in some ways, summer feels like medicine for my heart…an actual excuse to live out days that don’t always seem like they have a lot of purpose other than to just be.

And it feels like I’ve been living a strangely similar, summertime world this past year as I’ve fought purpose. Meaning.

Seriously, God…what?! Why am I here?

This isn’t one of those sob story posts because I think we all deal with the idea of purpose at some point in our lives. Seasons change and we find ourselves wondering just exactly what lies in the word, purpose. That’s ok.

At least I’m telling myself that it is.

Last fall I went to a writing conference. When I boarded that plane, I fully intended on going to that conference, learning how to be Super-Blogger-and-Book-Writer-Mel, coming home and rocking the word-world.

Well, I went, it was really good, and God moved in some huge ways, I came home…all good news, right? 😉

But as for rocking anything…notsomuch.

I came home not sure anymore. My rough draft just sat there. And sitting, it has been doing, for eight months. Eight. There have been ideas floating around here and there for it…ideas that I’ve typed into my iPhone, and that’s it.

I came home to a blog that became a (very) sporadic place to share life. It was starting to look like a chore, even feel like one.

And I fought purpose, because why? Why would God give me such a deep desire to write and then literally strip the words away?

Honestly, friends…I feel like I’ve been fighting for word-air for MONTHS. It’s been hard. I see people who dash out beautiful posts, deep thoughts, life-changing messages, and I fall into the comparison trap and figuratively bury my head under a pillow. Or maybe sometimes I really do. Bury my head, that is. 😉

Maybe tomorrow will be better, I tell myself. But then the words are still gone and my heart feels like it’s fading, too.

My season is changing. It is. And I hate to admit that.

Because there was a time when I thought I might be the next big blogger, and instead He said, No. No, Mel…you’re going to be the next big follower of Me. That’s all I need from you.

This space is going to look different in a few days. I’m going to introduce it to you on an extremely random day during the week (think Wednesday) 😉 and share a little about life…just to let you know where it’s all going.

I’m kind of excited for the change. And, let’s be honest, I’m just excited for a pretty blog, because it’s way pretty. WAY. :) (Ok, now I really can’t wait to show y’all!)

I’ll be giving away some of my favorite things, too, because I like to give gifts and make people smile. (And who doesn’t like FREE stuff?!)

So I hope you’ll come back to see the new space and maybe to chat with me, too. :)

I’m still not exactly sure what my goal is in this great, big writing world, but I’m not sure that matters right now. I think He spoke purpose to me a long time ago…and I just need to listen. And now…well, now I just want to live out my season completely, whatever it looks like. Wherever it is. And follow Him through all of it.

Even if it sometimes just doesn’t make sense. And even if it always feels like summer.

And so it goes right into this space.

I can’t wait to tell you all about it. :)

Photo Credit: Bermi Ferrer



  1. Hi Mel! I found your blog through the Mommy & Marriage (in) courage group and this post couldn’t resonate with me more! I have been going through a season of restlessness as a writer, blogger, and mom and am excited to see what you have in store! I love what you said about God gently telling you that all he wants is for you to be a follower of him. It seems so simple but it’s so hard! And sometimes our human hearts want more! Anyway, I’m rambling now, but excited to join you on your journey.

  2. First of all, the photo: Love. It.
    Secondly, I’m sorry about your hand. Wish you could blame that one on age…but not yet!
    Thirdly, you are a gifted writer. The beauty of writing is that the words won’t fade, and your manuscript will still be there when you are ready to pick it up again. You are finding that other things are fleeting, such as your girlie growing up before your eyes. I am glad you are paying attention, and that your heart is open to God’s leading!
    Blessings and healing, my friend!

  3. Oh yay! I can’t wait to see the finished site!! :)

  4. Mel,
    I’ve been going through a similar experience — just when I think I know what direction I’m taking in life it seems to change or just come to a stand-still.
    I’ve spent the past few months feeling like I have no purpose to my life so I start thinking how I could do this or that or…. And then nothing really comes to fruition and I again feel like there is no meaning or purpose to my life. [sigh]
    I pray that whatever direction you are taking will will give you contentment.
    And I cannot wait to see your new blog!

    • Thank you so much for the prayers…and I’ll say a prayer for you, too. Those days of wondering about purpose…they’re hard. I’m so thankful that all He asks is for us to follow Him and trust that He’s got a plan. A good one! :) (((hugs)))

  5. I love you !! That’s all !!

  6. You seem to be having an epiphany there. I hope it all goes where He wants it to go. Sounds like He’s leading you right now – and I’m sure the end will be great! Good luck!

  7. I love you, my friend! What a beautiful heart you have. I’m so blessed to know you, and I’m super excited for Wednesday!!

  8. Well it’s been a while since I’ve stopped in…been focused on other things than blogs over the past many months (including only posting very sporadically on my own blog!). But I always smile when I do pop in and see what you’re up to, my blog-world-friend-who-I-would-probly-get-along-with-really-well-in-real-life. (that was hard to type.)
    Anyway…looking forward to seeing what’s happening with you and wanted to say “hi” and hope all is well. :)

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