On the Little Things, Too Many Selfies, and Hope

July 3, 2014 by · 10 Comments

hope
First of all, thank you to all of you who cheered for me last Wednesday when this new space went live.

That meant so much. It still means so much. :)

And I have to admit that I do catch myself coming back to read through the comments…and to smile at how pretty it all is, too. It feels like home.

Earlier this week, a friend shared that she loved the new look. And I joked with her…Yeah, now I need some words to go with the new look! 😉

Aahhhh…the words. Or, the lack of them.

But I’ve promised myself that this *new* space comes with no pressure. No comparison. Only the freedom to be Mel.

And yet, sometimes I just miss writing.

And it’s late and the raindrops are pounding the roof, and I’m wide awake because I accidentally took a power nap at 10 pm…and I’m smiling because sometimes God gives us the sweetest blessings in the little things. (And, apparently, in a lot of selfies…keep reading.) 😉

Last week Tobin took Friday off to get some work done in the yard. Mae and I were gone for the morning, and that afternoon the three of us went to buy some new bushes and make a stop at Costco. On the way home I mentioned that a Slurpee sounded good, so we stopped at 7-11. Mae’s first.

slurpeetonguesOf course, we had to document it. Here’s to Slurpee tongues!!! (Cherry for Mae, Watermelon Punch for me.) 😉

And then maybe…just maybe, it became the weekend of selfies because isn’t that just how life goes sometimes? Yes, yes it is. Especially when it involves a bucket of deep fried cheese curds for dinner. And a concert with Mandisa. (Who was AWE. SOME.) 😉

bucketofcheesecurdsBecause I feel this is important, necessary information…I did not eat them all myself. 😉

selfieMandisaYou have to look really close, but yes. Yes, Mandisa IS in the background. I’m so cool.
But do I have any pictures of my daughter dancing? Nope. Apparently I was too wrapped up in taking a picture of myself and the singer on stage.
OOPS.

And after a fun day spent with friends, too much fried food for dinner, and (of course) a record number of selfies taken (for Mel, at least) 😉 we headed home and pulled in well after midnight.

And then there was Sunday, and God gave me a gift. And another selfie, but this one was purely for memory’s sake…I mean, if YOUR BFF was in town, wouldn’t YOU take one, too? See…I thought so. 😉

beckymelselfieI love her. A lot. And that’s all that really needs to be said.

And I look back over these pictures, and I smile because God knew. He always does. He knows what we need, even on days that just don’t make sense.

And there have been a few of those lately.

Last week I came home and found this on my porch…and while it doesn’t seem like much, that sweet daisy and the few words and the love that came with it brought hope to a heart that was hurting. There’s more to the story, but that’s for another day…for now, this. The reminder that I’m loved and very, very blessed.

daisyI just smile…because God has the best ways of taking care of us, doesn’t He?

And the truth is that it has been a bit of an up and down week, and I’m not even sure how I feel about things even at this (ridiculously late) moment, but then I see this…

maeshoulderride…and I’m reminded of the beauty that He can bring in the messy, broken, imperfect.

He’s always got us…and so we can breathe thanks for that Hope.

So glad to have your here, friends!

Photo Credit: Justin Ried

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, friends, just life, Maelie, where I am

A New Space for A New Journey (And a GIVEAWAY!)

June 25, 2014 by · 69 Comments

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For years, I’ve stared at it.

The boring space that is A Barefoot Life. Really, friends…it was boring. I’m just being real here. 😉

Maybe what I wrote wasn’t always boring, but there’s so much that’s appealing about a pretty blog. And as a polka dot lovin’, flip-flop wearing, fashion-adoring girl, it just seems right that the place I live online should be cute too, huh? Can I get an AMEN?! 😉

And my sweet friend, Lisa? Well, one of her callings in life, at least according to me 😉 is to design pretty blogs. And she did an amazing job, didn’t she?!

Oh, I’ll be coming back here all day (and probably all of forever…) just to gaze at the beauty that SO not my gift at all. I’m so very thankful that someone I love is gifted in this area. :)

In thinking through my blog redesign…the one I’ve been wanting to do for a year, at least…it was hard. I had no direction because I was going through that kind of season. You know, one of those.

What’s my purpose? Who am I exactly in this great, big, bloggy world?

Because let’s be honest, friends…this bloggy world IS big. And it IS easy to feel like a tiny drop in a sandbox bucket.

Over the past few months, God has been whispering something. It’s not always been something I’ve wanted to hear, but He’s been pretty loud and clear.

He’s not calling me to write a book (right now, at least) or to be some big, awesome, word star. He’s just calling me to share my words.

Beautiful or messy, profound or just chatter…for the people who need them. And that probably won’t be the entire world…though that would always be nice. :)

He just wants me…Mel. My heart, my willingness, my words…for me to take those and use them for Him and let Him do the rest.

It has taken a long time for me to embrace that and not just be ok with it.

But today?

Today I’m completely owning my new tagline…Live the Adventure. Tell the Stories. (<====Tweet this!) 

And there’s actually a funny story about how He gave me that tagline. It was somewhere, in the air, between Doha and Chicago, as I fretted over situations and processed a dream that had come to an end when I opened my email during our layover in Qatar. It was in those moments of grief and even a little fear that I heard my Father whisper…

Live the Adventure…it’s what I’ve created life to be. And then Tell the Stories…the people you love, the places you go, all I’m doing in you.

That’s it. And I kind of love it. A LOT.

So welcome to my new place…same site but a whole lot prettier. Thanks again, sweet Lisa! :) 

I can’t wait to share the adventures with you…the ones that happen as I slowly traipse my way around the world and the even better ones that happen in my own backyard.

I hope you’ll join me for all of them!

Here’s to a new space for a new journey…I can’t wait! :) (<====Tweet this!)

                                                           

I’m so glad you’re here, and I want to say thank you with a happy, fun, summer giveaway. Use the rafflecopter below to enter to win some of my favorite things! (Sorry…U.S. residents only.) :) 

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First up…what’s summer without COFFEE? (Really, what is LIFE without coffee? But we might have to go into that another day…) 😉 And, psst…Dunkin’ Donuts has any-size iced coffee for 99 cents all summer from 3-6 pm! WooHoo!) And if, for some sad reason, you are nowhere near a Dunkin’, let me know, and I’ll throw in $10 so you can get yourself some good coffee. It’s not like that gift card won’t get used around here…ahem. 😉

Finding Spiritual Whitespace…it’s one of my new favorite books. In fact, I’m reading through it for the second time so I can journal it out in detail. (I never do that with books. I’m doing that with this one, though…it’s that good.) It will probably take me six blog posts to talk about why it’s my favorite. But if you’re craving rest and intimacy with Jesus, you need to read this…Bonnie shares a journey of heartbreak, healing, and hope. It’s inspiring. And I think, no matter who you are or where you are in life, her words will resonate somehow.

My sweet friend and blog designer also has an Etsy store with some of the most beautiful prints I’ve ever seen, and Lisa is offering a free print from her store to the winner…you get to choose! Be sure to hop over and check out her amazing designs…they are seriously gorgeous. (I need more walls in my house just so I can buy more of her prints!) And as a bonus…the money raised from all sales goes to help fund her family’s adoption. How cool is that?! :)

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Last up…check out one of my new favorites. Ok, so it took me a loooooong time to embrace dresses and skirts again…five years of being forced to wear them might do that to just about any woman. But gotta admit that they’ve stolen my heart this summer, and Target has some cuuuuute dresses right now…this one was an awesome $11. Ok, ok, I had a $5 gift card and got a sweet 20% off with Cartwheel. 😉 Take this $20 gift card and pick up something fun to wear. 😉

MelDress400
Thanks again for being here, friends. I wouldn’t want to walk this journey with anyone else!

(And I’ll pick a winner on Sunday. Or, rather, Rafflecopter will.) 😉

Photo credit: plugged mind

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, coffee, encouragement, friends, giveaway, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

In Summer…

June 23, 2014 by · 15 Comments

flipflopswave
This is, like, the most bizarre time to blog ever. EVER.

It’s late on a Sunday night. I just finished a weekend of volleyball playing, topped off by a sprained hand (Awe.Some.) and being mama alone 24/7 thanks to hubby working about that many hours on the big company move. I just put my girl to bed amid the longest and loudest giggle fest we’ve ever shared…You are so very welcome, I say to my neighbors who have the blessing of windows that face their house.

We’re kind of all tired, to say the least. And some one of us is most definitely subsisting on Coke Zero and Tylenol as she sort-of types, under the glow of Christmas lights, while a purple My Little Pony with freakishly-yellow hair stares her down.

I can’t make these things up, friends. 😉

But the words…well, they’re burning. Through all of that, even.

And so, on this late-June evening, here they are. Because I’ve kind of been thinking through some things.

So, I love summer.

LOVE it. (Profound, I know.) 😉

In fact, I might be doing a little Olaf-dance around the back porch in between sentences right now. In summerrrrrrr!

So good. SO.

Summer for me signifies lazy days. A bit of sleeping in on those non-running mornings. 😉 Coffee on the back porch. (Friends welcome!) Park adventures with my girl. Backyard swimming. Constant flip flops, or even bare feet. So much of fun to be had.

And in some ways, summer feels like medicine for my heart…an actual excuse to live out days that don’t always seem like they have a lot of purpose other than to just be.

And it feels like I’ve been living a strangely similar, summertime world this past year as I’ve fought purpose. Meaning.

Seriously, God…what?! Why am I here?

This isn’t one of those sob story posts because I think we all deal with the idea of purpose at some point in our lives. Seasons change and we find ourselves wondering just exactly what lies in the word, purpose. That’s ok.

At least I’m telling myself that it is.

Last fall I went to a writing conference. When I boarded that plane, I fully intended on going to that conference, learning how to be Super-Blogger-and-Book-Writer-Mel, coming home and rocking the word-world.

Well, I went, it was really good, and God moved in some huge ways, I came home…all good news, right? 😉

But as for rocking anything…notsomuch.

I came home not sure anymore. My rough draft just sat there. And sitting, it has been doing, for eight months. Eight. There have been ideas floating around here and there for it…ideas that I’ve typed into my iPhone, and that’s it.

I came home to a blog that became a (very) sporadic place to share life. It was starting to look like a chore, even feel like one.

And I fought purpose, because why? Why would God give me such a deep desire to write and then literally strip the words away?

Honestly, friends…I feel like I’ve been fighting for word-air for MONTHS. It’s been hard. I see people who dash out beautiful posts, deep thoughts, life-changing messages, and I fall into the comparison trap and figuratively bury my head under a pillow. Or maybe sometimes I really do. Bury my head, that is. 😉

Maybe tomorrow will be better, I tell myself. But then the words are still gone and my heart feels like it’s fading, too.

My season is changing. It is. And I hate to admit that.

Because there was a time when I thought I might be the next big blogger, and instead He said, No. No, Mel…you’re going to be the next big follower of Me. That’s all I need from you.

This space is going to look different in a few days. I’m going to introduce it to you on an extremely random day during the week (think Wednesday) 😉 and share a little about life…just to let you know where it’s all going.

I’m kind of excited for the change. And, let’s be honest, I’m just excited for a pretty blog, because it’s way pretty. WAY. :) (Ok, now I really can’t wait to show y’all!)

I’ll be giving away some of my favorite things, too, because I like to give gifts and make people smile. (And who doesn’t like FREE stuff?!)

So I hope you’ll come back to see the new space and maybe to chat with me, too. :)

I’m still not exactly sure what my goal is in this great, big writing world, but I’m not sure that matters right now. I think He spoke purpose to me a long time ago…and I just need to listen. And now…well, now I just want to live out my season completely, whatever it looks like. Wherever it is. And follow Him through all of it.

Even if it sometimes just doesn’t make sense. And even if it always feels like summer.

And so it goes right into this space.

I can’t wait to tell you all about it. :)

Photo Credit: Bermi Ferrer

Sig

Filed Under: barefoot, just life, where I am, writing

You Are Four

June 14, 2014 by · 6 Comments

MaeOnHike600
Dear baby girl, the one who’s not so much a baby anymore…

My Maelie Naomi.

Today you are four. FOUR. As in, years old. Wowza, where did the time go?

I was telling a friend tonight, through a stifled giggle, about life exactly four years ago. I was so enormously pregnant that I refused to even take a picture.

And yet I knew, somehow, that the little person inside me was worth the hugeness…that she was going to burst into my life and change it forever.

That, my sweet Mae, is exactly what you have done.

Each year, as I take the time to look back, I realize just how much you have changed me. Just how much better my life is because you fill my days.

I hear your howling and singing, the first things to alert me that you are ready to greet each new day. Sometimes I ask you to turn down the volume, but the truth is? I love your exuberance. And I love YOU even more.

Howl away. Really. :)

I see the joy you find in the simplest things…in playing outside, in a new little pony, in jumping on the bed only to leap into my arms for a hug…you see the beauty everywhere and you embrace it completely.

I love that about you.

We’ve watched you grow and change so much in the last year…your first year of school already behind you, several haircuts and jeans sizes (quit getting so tall already!) passed, many new skills and words, too. OH. You are just soaking up every piece of life around you.

It’s amazing.

You talk about wanting a baby sister. Sometimes you pretend you already have one. And often, we’ll stop what we’re doing to pray for one.

Sweet girl, I would love to see that happen for you. For all of us. And watching your faith grow as you kneel and ask Him for such a deep desire is something that melts me and breaks me all at the same time.

You are learning lessons, already, in resting in God’s will and trusting Him. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

But I really, really, hope that this is the year you will get to be a sister. Because I think you’d be an amazing one.

There are so many people who love you…when I pause to look around at this community, I see just how blessed we are with the people who love you…and you love them right back.

Please, sweet girl…never stop. Never stop loving people.

It’s a bittersweet night for me…the last night of having a three year-old in the house. I stroke the hair away from your face, watch your chest rise and fall as you sleep, and I know these days are numbered. This doesn’t last forever.

But I also know something else…I know a lot of somethings, but this one thing sticks out more than anything.

God gave us the most precious blessing in you…and every day is a gift.

I’m so glad I get to spend this life with you.

Dream big and love even bigger, my sweet girl.

He’s always got you. You are His forever.

All my love,
Mommy

MelMae600

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, community, family, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, where I am

The Dream in Front of Me

June 9, 2014 by · 2 Comments

toysfloor-final
It’s a slow morning, the kind when we don’t need to go anywhere.

I’ll always take one of those. :)

Our morning routine is often the same…I’m up early for quiet time and (most days!) a good workout. I get the coffee going and have my first, of many a few cups.

She sleeps until about 7 a.m. and then greets the day, usually with howling or singing…and though I sometimes grumble when I hear those first signs that she’s up, the truth is that I LOVE her exuberance at the thought of a new sunrise and the life that awaits in the coming day.

Part of this routine is the same, too…up for breakfast and a bit of TV while this mama finds the coffee (again) and sits at her computer to pound words and paragraphs that might just form a post.

And so, on this particularly slow morning, I find myself sinking even further into the routine.

I look up, startled by the clunk of the mailbox. (Yes, our mail comes early.) 😉

How is it 9:00 already?

I peek into the living room to see her sprawled on the couch…almost a zombie…munching the last of her Apple Jacks from the bowl, eyes glued to Jake and the Never Land Pirates.

And I? Have just woken up from my own little zombie state, too…definitely not a useless daze, but one in which I remained for far too long…

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, sharing a dreaming lesson He’s teaching me through my precious daughter. Join me?

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Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Nothing

May 29, 2014 by · 28 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Nothing

I was up early this morning.

We didn’t have to be anywhere until 10:30 and I’d already squeezed two workouts into yesterday. It was truly a morning off, and I wanted to write.

I made the coffee, I gave myself some time to wake up, I read a few verses. And then I sat down, hoping the words might flow.

There were a few attempts, but it soon became clear that it wasn’t the morning for writing.

I had nothing.

And so I poured a cup of coffee and wandered to the back porch with my laptop, hoping for some inspiration. Even the cool, perfect morning (and the equally perfect caffeine) 😉 just didn’t do it.

Nothing. No inspiration.

Friends, it’s been a dry season…and it’s been pretty quiet around here, too. I can’t quite explain it or even understand why the words just aren’t there. There have been times it’s been frustrating, and other times it’s been a relief.

But mostly…well, mostly I just wish I could write.

I miss it. A lot.

And sometimes I feel like nothing when I can’t get the words out.

I know the truth…and so I tell it to myself over and over…that though it feels like there’s nothing, it’s a great big something. It’s just that my something looks much different.

And so I embrace it the best I know how…

…in a park date with my daughter, flower planting with a sweet friend, a mug of coffee on a perfect (if wordless!) morning, a visit from Indo friends, even sunshine and a bit of a sunburn.

None of those are nothing…in fact they are pretty incredible somethings.

And I’m whispering thanks…because He is good.

And because I know that someday the words will be back, too. :)

coffeemug-final

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, coffee, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, where I am, writing

A Lesson from Qatar + A Bucket List

May 22, 2014 by · 2 Comments

So a couple months ago we took a trip to Indonesia. This post has been a long time coming…and it took awhile to write, so we’re going back a couple months. 😉

Doha.

That’s in Qatar.

Here you go…a map, just so you don’t have to go and look it up. :)

qatar
So we layed-over in Doha, Qatar, both going to and coming home from Indonesia. When we first booked our flight with Qatar Airways, I had to look it up on a map. Where is this mysterious country? Is this even a country? (Ahem…clearly, geography was not my strong suit. Actually, it was, but I missed out on this one.)

So I located it, a little peninsula of a country sticking out into the Persian Gulf and, in my opinion, just a bit too close to the country of Iran, but whatever. A motto in my life is to embrace the world, and so I at least try to do that.

So I can’t really tell you, probably due to my lack of coherence (and sleep) at that point in my day, exactly what my first impressions of Qatar…or, at least the airport, were. I remember that we took stairs off the airplane, boarded a big bus, and took a ride to the actual airport, where we went through security again and then made our way to a lounge for eight hours. (Hubby and a guy from Britain decided to strike up a conversation about the missing Malaysia Airlines plane at this time. Gee, thanks…just what I want to talk about as I’m traveling. by. PLANE.)

But the lounge was nice. It needed more beds…really…but comfy chairs, showers, food, and the coolest coffee maker ever more than made up for the lack of places to ACTUALLY. LIE. DOWN. 😉 (And I tried to take a picture of the coffee machine and got yelled at…yep, apparently using my iPhone in the food area of the lounge was a big no-no. Though the woman who scolded me had no argument to back up her scolding. Just trust me…it was cool.) 😉

QatarCoffeeBut I DID sneak this picture of my COFFEE. IN. THE. LOUNGE. (Hand slap.) 😉

Anyway, back to my purpose in telling you all of that. 😉 Since the food was all-you-can-eat, we chose those hours to make up for the less-than-stellar airline food we’d been served, which had gone mostly uneaten. (Except for the bread, the cheese, and the little KitKats.) 😉 And, oh, the food. It was a spread of yummy deliciousness…pastries, breads, sandwiches, fruit, and hummus.

I swooned over that hummus. (And ate as much as I could without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I did feel a little sick. A little.) 😉

It was while I was munching on, yet another, triangle of pita doused in hummus that I realized it…Eating hummus in the Middle East should have been added to my bucket list. You know, the bucket list I’ve been saying I would write for years and never actually HAVE?

Yeah, that one.

The reality is that I probably should write it soon before all that’s left is for me to go skydiving. Because I will never go skydiving, so there.

If you’ve had a conversation with me regarding the trip we took, you may know that really the only negative thing I have to say about our trip to Indonesia involves laying over in Qatar…probably something we will not choose again. (Though the hummus was good.) But there was a takeaway from our time there, and for that I am thankful. (Oh, and I also bought a mug and a little stuffed camel, so I guess I took those things away, too.) 😉

I took away the inspiration to write a bucket list for us. Me in particular, but I’m hoping Tobin and Mae will jump in, too. They’re invited, and so are you. :)

So here it is…the beginning of it all at least, complete with my happy little commentary.

And, of course, subject to additions for the rest of my life. 😉

Skills

1. Learn to play another instrument and actually play it somewhere. (If anyone will let me!)
2. Sell a piece of my art.
3. Publish my book. (Finish it first, I guess…and then find an agent, too!)
4. Become fluent in another language. (I seem to have a good head-start in Indonesian…) 😉
5. Learn to roast coffee beans.
6. Speak at least once at a writer’s conference.
7. Build a coffee table.

Travel

1. Visit the pyramids in Egypt.
2. Take a boat ride on the Nile and maybe even swim there. (I know, I know. Let’s not talk about the crocodiles, k?) 😉
3. Shop the markets in Turkey. (Must. Buy. A. Cute. Bag.)
4. Take a mommy/daughter trip to another country.
5. Do an overland safari in Africa.
6. See Machu Picchu in Peru.
7. Visit Australia and hold a koala. (Except for Antarctica, it’s the only continent we have left.)

Personal/Parenting/Family

1. Adopt a child.
2. Visit an orphanage with Mae.
3. Read 100 chapter books aloud with Maelie.
4. Return to Indonesia as a family for an extended period of time to serve.
5. Spend a year as a family doing acts of kindness for others.
6. Let Mae choose any adventure she wants to take for her 10th birthday and just go.
7. Do something wild and unexpected for a friend.
8. Do something wild and unexpected for a stranger.

Crazy

1. Buy plane tickets, pack our suitcases, and just go…all in the same day.
2. Buy a home in Bali for retirement someday.
3. Take our friends on a crazy, other-side-of-the-world, getaway for my 40th birthday.
4. Buy a motorbike/scooter in the U.S. (T made me add U.S. ’cause I had one in Indo…) 😉
5. Go a month without using a car at all.
6. Get a tattoo.

Physical

1. Break 27:00 on a 5k.
2. Run a 10k in under one hour.
3. Run a half marathon.
4. Do CrossFit for six months.
5. Learn to do yoga.
6. Run a 5k as a family. (All of us. Running.)
7. Complete a triathlon. (Shakin’ in my Nikes already…)

Spiritual

1. Read through the Bible in six months.
2. Memorize the book of Philippians. (I’m 3/8 of the way done. At least I used to be.) 😉
3. Lead an overseas mission trip.
4. Spend a year volunteering for Mercy Ships in Africa.
5. Go to Uganda with Sole Hope.
6. Learn to love like Jesus.

Did I miss anything? (Of course I did…every time I proofed this list, I kept adding to it!!!) 😉

What would you add?

Here’s to a beautiful life…join me? 

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, bucket list, family, friends, just life, Maelie, marriage, Tobin, where I am

Less Words…

May 15, 2014 by · 16 Comments

This might be the kind of day when I heart-spill a little too much.

So if I do, forgive me. :)

It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I’m up early because…well, because I’m trying to get into a good routine, and as much as I’d love to sleep much, much longer, this is my time to get things done.

I have to admit to you that I wish I were drinking coffee right now. We’ve got a big ‘ol container of Bailey’s Mudslide Coffee Creamer in our fridge right now (it was the only size they had) and OH. Yes, it DOES make me want to drink coffee all day. (As if it takes creamer to do that…) 😉 But, alas, I am not drinking coffee.

YET.

See, I’m also trying to be better about getting up to run early in the morning. I’ve been good during the last few months about doing lots of strength training and cardio/strength, but I need to get back to running more often. And my rule? No coffee til the run is over.

I know. Oh, I know. ‘Tis a bit brutal. 😉

I’m pondering life and love and the fact that my sweet three, almost-four, year-old finishes PK3 today. It has been such a good year for her, and I’m finding myself thinking back to the times when I would finish a year of school; especially when I was younger, I would always be devastated to say goodbye to my teacher. Clearly that emotion has been passed, straight on, to my girlie.

She cried yesterday when she told me she had one more day. I don’t WANNA leave Mrs. H! Or Mrs. B!

And, oh, how there is that piece of me that would gladly let her remain there forever…but we go forward anyway.

And with a few tears because that’s how a lot of us roll, I think, whether we’ll admit it or not.

And along with the whole finishing PK3 thing comes other milestones to remind me that my little girl is growing up so fast. A ballet recital on Sunday in a sparkly costume with her hair all pretty and MAKEUP. So not ready for this one…

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A real, kid birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate the BIG FOUR. Not ready for that one in a completely different way…

Swimming lessons to come. That one I’m excited for…she’s been asking, and I want it for her.

So many changes every day…the pants get shorter and the cute little shirts don’t cover her belly anymore. Her aqua toenails peek over the edge of he flip flops, and I realize it…

…I wasn’t looking, and she grew up.

So time marches on, and while the snuggles and kisses remain, the I-love-you’s are a daily thing, and we laugh and dance together because it’s just what we do, I know it’s going to change.

That’s the part I don’t want to come.

I think back to the things I’ve always wanted so much for her…

To know that she’s loved so much…

…accepted as she is…

…and beautiful. SO beautiful.

Those things…they start with me.

And God has been doing some things in my heart when it comes to my daughter.

I was in Houston a few weeks ago with some pretty awesome sisters, and during our time there, a friend and I took a little break outside for a bit to sit by the pool in the glorious, Texas sunshine. (You know, that thing we haven’t seen much of in FOREVER here? Yep.) 😉 We were chatting up life…the two of us are in different parenting seasons…and I was soaking in all she had to say. The mama of four daughters, she gets this…

And I admitted to her that I felt like the blog was wearing me down and all I wanted to do was just be mommy. (But please, my readers, don’t run away.) 😉

As we continued to talk, I confessed that I felt like the time and energy I’d spent trying to build and comment and connect had depleted me more than filled me. That was a hard confession because I love…LOVE…this community. I want to be here…writing, sharing, doing life together.

And God isn’t saying to give that up…but He IS saying to step back a little.

That’s why it’s been so quiet in this space. It’s been a word battle anyway lately, but I also haven’t spent as much time at the computer. The majority of my day is spent with my girl…how it should be anyway. And nights are a little different, too…I used to spend them commenting and answering comments and reading blogs…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But you see, I have a husband, too. He and I are desperately trying to find our dance again. We’ve both kind of forgotten how that looks, but it definitely doesn’t involve computer screens.

It’s such a confusing place to be…knowing I’m meant to be a writer, but being aware that to everything there is a season. And I think it’s my season to write less. A lot less.

I miss connecting with my community as often. I miss the twitter parties and late nights…and while I may show up once in awhile, it’s no longer the commitment I sprint out of praise team for. It’s an added blessing when my day allows it.

And so, for this season, the rough draft still sits. The blog is a bit quieter. And the words flow through my heart more than they do through my fingertips.

But I’m good with that because it’s where I need to be.

And now I need to go…because four miles, a pot of coffee, and a sweet, three year-old princess await me.

Life is so incredibly beautiful…and I don’t want to miss any of it.

20130820_082827

 

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, community, encouragement, just life, Maelie, marriage, running, Tobin, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Grateful

May 8, 2014 by · 9 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Grateful

Mae&MommySelfie2

This little girl is going to finish PK3 next Thursday. Hold me, ’cause I hardly know what to do with it all.

I’ll never forget the first day of PK last August. It was an emotional day, one when the tears just flowed. I was honestly surprised that I cried, but when I think about it…well, it doesn’t surprise me anymore.

I get it now…how quickly the days go, how the months seem to fly, how they just grow so fast. It’s sweet and it’s sad, but it’s all good.

This thing called mommyhood…the beautiful gift wrapped in love and crazy and hugs, a bit more crazy and even more love…well, it’s wonderful. Sometimes it feels like a wreck, especially on the days when the temper tantrums abound…but at the end of the day, yep.

My heart just bleeds gratitude. And so much LOVE.

I’m so grateful that I get to raise this girl. I feel so lucky. And even more blessed.

Last week we were playing with my phone. Lately it’s been a struggle to get her to actually look at the camera and smile at the same time…but the first thing she wanted to do?

Mommy, let’s take selfies! (Yes, she knows that word…ScArY.) 😉

And so we took a string of them. Some smiley, some goofy, some sweet…and the quality of them is terrible because I didn’t take the time to adjust the flash, check the lighting, or even to wipe the smudged makeup from the corners of my eyes. I just snapped the memories, and to me…well, they’re perfect memories.

And that sweet afternoon lives in my heart forever, too…and I’m so grateful.

Grateful that He chose me to be her mama and that we get to spend our days together. The tears threaten to spill over when I think of the years that are flying, but I wouldn’t trade a bit of it.

Thank you, Father, for my girl. :)

I am so very blessed.

Mae&MommySelfie

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, where I am

Here

May 6, 2014 by · 12 Comments

bike canvas

I was walking through Hobby Lobby the other day and I came across this. And I had to have it.

Bonus? It was 50% off…I think I paid $7 for it. (I really, really, loooove that store.) 😉

Yes, it’s a bike and not much else. No inspirational words, no deep thoughts to ponder, just a bike.

A bike.

And yet, it somehow struck a chord with me.

So we’ve been home from Indonesia for about four years and back from our visit for 38 days.

38 times I’ve woken up in the morning, most days with at least a smile because this really is such a good place. I love it.

But there have been more-than-a-few days, too, where there’s that ache in my chest followed by a quick, whispered prayer. Father,  I miss it. Why?

That’s a hard thing to admit to y’all…that my first words of the day have sometimes been of wondering and questioning, instead of trust.

It seems that the theme of my life, the story He has for me right now, revolves around the word, Here.

I. Am. Here. Deep, I know…but a concept every single one of you can relate to, due to the fact that you are…well, you are in your here, whatever that may look like, and wherever it may be. 😉

When I was little, I dreamed of another place…anywhere but my small town, where belonging never did happen. I didn’t want my here.

In college, I longed for a place with a bit more freedom.

I got married, and I longed for more because being married is tough stuff and a continual, day by day, process. Still.

In those first years of marriage, it was a longing for His Great Big Plan…wherever that took us.

And when that plan took us to Indonesia, we longed for home…far too often.

And now, here…well, sometimes we long for there.

It’s a jumble of always being Here. And, often, wanting there.

And it’s been a slow process…to accept that where He has me is always what’s best. It is because…well, because it is, and because it has to be.

My plan isn’t better than what He’s got…you’d think I’d have learned that a long time ago.

So if He’s got me here…well, here is where I should be.

And so I wrestle…and surrender. Wrestle again, surrender some more.

The truth is that my heart is torn between countries and continents, the crack separated by an ocean. It hurts…some days more than others and a few blessed ones, hardly at all.

In all of it, though, there’s been that reminder. Mel, you are blessed. And no matter how you’re feeling, and no matter where you are, there are always blessings. And you need to count them.

And so I count.

The sunny days, the rainy ones too. The days when Mae and I dance together and the days when mama and daughter struggle. The times when the adventures abound and the moments when they don’t. The living room picnics and the pony-playing. The sweet days and the hard ones, too.

All of it.

And maybe that’s what that bike meant to me, the second I saw it…Life is an adventure waiting to be lived. Here. Where I am. (<====Click to Tweet!)

How can I live it today?

Well, I doubt I’ll be riding a bike, but I think there will be some dancing with my girl. Some coffee drinking. Some playing outside. We might even take a walk to the park.

And maybe I’ll find a place to hang my new picture, too. :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, community, encouragement, Indonesia, just life, what I'm learning, where I am
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