Choose Joy

September 21, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

To be honest, I’ ve tried to write this post about twel

ve times.

The words just aren’t there…because sometimes, there are none.

L ast J

anuary I started a blog. And in starting that blog, I also looked around.

Found a few blogs. (Or more than a few…ahem.) Have visited them several times a week since then.

I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve gotten angry a few times…but it’s been so good to be a small part of this kind

of community.

And one of the blogs I stumbled upon was written by a woman named Sara.

(aka: Gitzen Girl) Gitz’s blog immediately became one of my favorites. She has a way of sharing her heart, her faith, her JOY… through her words.

In fact, she chose the title Choose Joy for her blog…and I truly believe that she has demonstrated

that through her life.

It was only after reading a few pieces she’d written that I poked around her blog a little more and found her story. Sara isn’t just a writer with a gift; I found that she is a writer with heart, and through her words allowed her readers, her friends, to share her life and her struggles.

Sara suffers from Ankylosing Spondylitis. (You are really better off reading her explanation. :)) She hadn’t left her home for years. She missed her own father’s funeral. She missed out on so many things that are part of normal life that each of us take for granted.

And yet, she didn’t complain.

She just loved.

It was what she did so well…for all of us.

Even those, like me, who never got to know her in person.

But we still knew her because she wanted us to.

Last week Gitz found out that her battle is almost over.

She’s on her way Home.

When I pulled up her blog yesterday and began to read, the tears just flowed.

Then they turned into sobs, and I realized just how important this online community of friends is.

We may not be physically next to each other to offer a hug or a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, but we offer so much more…

Just as Gitz did.

We offer our lives and our hearts…out for the world to see.

A chance to know us just a little.

Or a lot.

I never had the chance to meet Sara, but I can tell you that she is leaving a huge hole in this circle of friends. Not only will I miss the JOY she shared each time she’d write….

I’ll miss her.

My sister in Christ.

And my friend.

Sara wrote a beautiful piece that I actually read a few months ago when she first wrote it. For a girl searching for “home” for the last year, I guess it met my heart where it was at the time.

And now, it takes on a completely new meaning.

Eight months is not a long time to know someone, and yet Sara has passed on a lifetime of wisdom to each of us.

And that wisdom is simple…no matter what,

Choose Joy.

I want to hang on to those two words for the rest of my life and never, ever forget them. Never let them leave my heart or my life. I will choose to find the joy that surrounds me each and every day.

Thank you, Gitz, for all you are.

I will miss you, my friend.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, where I am, writing

Finding Adventure

September 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

“Attitude: The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure.”

My favorite quote.

Ever.

We’ve been completely blessed to have some of the most awesome adventures…many, things I never even dreamed I’d get to do.

Like…surf the waters of the Indian Ocean. Hike through a remote jungle in Sumatra. Drive a motorbike in an over-crowded city with no driving rules…and not die. (The not-dying part is big.) Swim in the Amazon River. Snorkel in the Caribbean. Ride an elephant in Thailand. See the Towers in Kuala Lumpur.

Yeah, I’m going somewhere with this.

Cause I’ve also had other adventures that don’t involve being halfway around the world.

Like…leaving home when I was barely eighteen years old to make a life for myself. Watching God take a shy, afraid-to-talk-in-public girl and turn her into someone who could give speeches and sing solos and do something for Him. Falling in love at the one time in life when I did NOT want it. Marrying him anyway.

(THAT has been an adventure. ;)) Dreaming…and seeing the goodness of God when He worked things out according to His plan and not mine.

Giving birth to the most amazing little girl.

Learning to love in a way I never dreamed possible. Leaving all we’d known (again) to start a new life in a new place. Seeing God bless…again. 😉 Learning to love a place I never thought

I could.

Those? Are adventures, too.

The quote above was shared with us by a couple we met while backpacking in Cape Town.

They had taken a year off from life, sold everything, and were seeing the world.

I was envious, I was fascinated, and I clung to each story they shared.

Because a theme emerged…no matter where they were or what the situation…there was an adventure to be had. One that would stretch them, amaze them, teach them. And make them better people.

We spent less than two days with Brad and Dennyse, but I have never forgotten them or the wisdom they passed on to us through this quote and the stories that came with it. It’s a mentality that we, as a couple and now family, have tried to practice.

Adventure is all around us…and it’s all about attitude.

Whether we’re living a crazy life in Southeast Asia or a more “normal” one in the Midwest.

Whether we’re taking a trip to Bali or a drive to the South to see some dear friends.

Whether we’re off on a romantic getaway or a family road trip.

There’s adventure.

Today I woke up. (A little late, but I needed the sleep…) I made coffee, worked out, had breakfast, and got the girl up. She’s finishing her breakfast now, and then we’ll probably play outside and go for a walk while the weather is still beautiful.

Then I’ll get some things done around the house, get a few thank-you’s written (hopefully!), and head to work for a few hours.

It’s normal…it’s life.

But there are adventures even in normal.

And I hope I never, ever forget to find them.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Living Love

September 10, 2011 by · 2 Comments

So I’ll be the first to admit that the blog has been a little dry the past few weeks.

Like I said before, I’m not exactly uninspired…just lacking good sentence structure, maybe

? 😉

Or the emotional ability to be transparent.

It’ s been an overwhelming week.

Exactly one week ago, we were facing a very busy eight days before leaving for vacation and talking about how much time we’d need to spend on the fence to get it finished before we go. (This was to make life easier for the people taking care of our dogs. Two crazy dogs + no fence = no fun for anyone.)

Then? Less than an hour into the project…

It snapped. (Literally.)

On the second fence post hole, which my husband was using a power auger to dig, he hit a rock, it jerked, and broke his wrist. Tobin actually finished the holes and did some more work on Sunday, too, but by Sunday night, we knew that he needed x-rays.

Monday morning it was confirmed that his wrist was broken, and we spent that day wondering how on earth this fence was going to be finished in time.

That’s when Jonny, our friend and neighbor, told him not to worry…that the fence would get done.

During the past several days, Jonny and his son have spent countless hours at our house, finishing the fence this afternoon.

And I have to admit to you that I had a hard time accepting this kind of generosity at first…how on earth do you return this kind of love

?

Because that’s what it is, friends…LOVE.

I have been so challenged this week by that word and all it carries with it.

Because Love

is a Verb.

And this week we’ve seen that Love.

Living Love.

It’s so, so easy…to say it, to believe it…

But to actually demonstrate it?

Well, when it’s shown…it reflects Christ.

And that’s what we’ve seen this week.

.. through our dear friends.

Some people have questioned the changes in our lives this past year…including joining a Lutheran church. But as we returned from Indonesia last year and began searching for a new church, we pretty much threw out denomination as a deciding factor.

The two deciding points for us were that the church lives the Bible and that we see the love of Christ in the people of our church…not in the words they say but through their actions.

It’s humbling; at times, it’s difficult to grasp; but it’s genuine.

And we’re learning to accept it…as a gift from people who love us, knowing that it’s not possible to repay. Just to love back.

And if this lesson in love weren’t enough, yesterday I came home to see that our yard had been cleaned up. (We have a dozen raccoons living in our trees who had made quite the mess.) I found out later that our sweet neighbors, who are in their 80’s, had come over that morning while Mae and I were gone and cleaned up the yard.

Five big lawn bags worth.

Living Love again.

I can’t look at my yard right now without tears filling my eyes.

Because…we’re loved. Not just by our friends and neighbors but by

our Father.

The One Who sent His Son to live out Love on this earth and give us that perfect example.

Exactly what we’ve seen this week.

I know I have a long way to go, but if there’s one thing I want for myself, for my husband, for my daughter…it’s the capacity to Love just as we’ve seen this week.

To Live Love.

Our clean yard.

:)

Jonny working on the fence and helping Mae put her handprint in cement. :)

What about you

? How have you seen living love in your life?

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, friends, what I'm learning, where I am

I Am FREE!

September 4, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I am FREE

to run,
I

am FREE to dance,
I am

FREE to live for You.


I am FREE.

..I am FREE.

We sang this song at church this morning…and as we were singing it, I couldn’t help but realize how well it sums up the past year of our lives.

While we have chosen to look at the positives in the past (well, mostly ;)) Tobin and I will both admit that, at times, being a Christian felt a lot like being a slave. So many rules and do’s and don’ts…it felt like there was no freedom to be the people God created us

to be.

“For freedom in Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Galatians 5:13

I love these verses…THIS is exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out all year.

Christianity is about living for God in the freedom we have in Christ. The things that used to bind us DON’T anymore. We’re not held in bondage to sin any longer because of the gift of love from our Father in the form of the greatest sacrifice the world has ever seen.

Does being free mean that I can use the grace lavished on me as an excuse to do whatever I want

? No…it’s not about self, but about loving others, something my husband and I have tried to be so intentional about. We’re not there yet, but God is teaching us.

And we’re trying to learn.

Today, I am FREE…

To live for Him!

And I might just do a little dance while I live.

Sig

Filed Under: church, what I'm learning, where I am

Crying Out to Him

September 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Maelie’s naps have kind of been hit or miss lately.

This week was ok…she napped plenty but usually woke up once or twice, crying, and would then go back to sleep.

Today she went to sleep around 1:30 in the afternoon, and other than crying for a few minutes, was out immediately.

I figured she was so tired she’d sleep for hours.

So I was surprised when she woke up around 2:00…screaming. And it wasn’t an I-completely-protest-this-nap cry…it was an I-need-to-be-held cry.

I went up to her nursery, where I found her peeking at me over the rail of her crib, tears streaming down her cheeks, arms held out to me.

(Yes, it did melt my heart, since I know you’re all wondering!)

I picked her up, and she immediately snuggled as close to me as possible. I sat down in the chair with her and rocked her for awhile, singing a few songs, while she held me and cuddled up.

And I have to admit that as much as I was sad that she was upset, I absolutely loved that she wanted to be held and cuddled and close.

For that moment, I was it.

A few minutes later, I kissed her, put

her in her crib, and she went right back to sleep for another two hours.

(YAY!)

But as she was sleeping, I couldn’t help but think through what

had just happened and draw a parallel.

Just as Mae wanted me…and only me…I wonder how often I want my Father.

And only Him.

It is so easy to let the people in our lives be it.

To let them be the ones who listen to us when we’re hurting, laugh with us when life is just good, cry with us when it’s not. And there’s a time and a place for that…many times and places, in fact. That’s why God gave us friends.

But He desires that we treat Him just as Maelie treated me today…because He is just that.

He is It.

The One Who can comfort and love and listen and care… no matter what.

Just where I am tonight.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, encouragement, just life, Maelie, where I am

Sunday…um…Coffee?

August 28, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Ok, just so we’re clear…I’m not drink ing

coffee.

I am, in fact, drinking Powerade Zero, the strawberry flavor.

Go for the lemon-lime should you want to try it…just sayin’. I’m also eating E.L. Fudge cookies, but not too many. It does say something about my impressive willpower that I’ve had these cookies in my possession for FIVE days and still have over half the package left. :)

If you hopped by today, the first thing you’d notice is that we’re missing a screen on our back porch. Should something too interesting pass by our house, I’m afraid that my dogs might just jump right out of the porch.

Hopefully Tobin will get back from Home Depot soon and replace the screen before anything too memorable happens! And the screen is being replaced because our obnoxious spirited dogs got a little too excited when the neighbor came over the other night. Heck, another screen needed to be replaced, too, so it’s good timing.

You will also notice that I am, very happily, typing On. My. Macbook. No, it’s not new. It’s just that my lovely computer, the one that’s been with me since

the beginning of this blogging journey (and before), decided to completely DIE this week.

Monday night, it just turned off.

Wouldn’t turn back on at ALL.

I got really scared and thought it was gone for good…it wouldn’t turn on for over 24 hours. Then, it decided to tease me…by turning on and dying immediately or within minutes. Over and over for a couple of days. On Friday it turned on and stayed on…and I haven’t had a problem since. We have a few theories…let’s hope we’re right and Mr.

Mac won’ t need any fur

ther attention. ‘Cause the Apple Hospital is not exactly high on my list of where I’d like my money to go.

The Maelie girl is currently going strong on what could be her longest nap all week…she’s at an hour and a half, which should tell you something about the week we’ve had. I’m a little worried that the nap may be coming to an end because there’s a lot of noise going on outside. Thankfully, Mae is still asleep for now…maybe she’s like her mama and can sleep through just about anything.

We can hope. :)

So I used to love vacation planning…when I had an ocean to look forward to. Now I am learning a new type of planning…and it’s good, but it feels weird to book a hotel for one night halfway to our destination, where we’ll be staying with friends.

No hotel needed. I am not sure we’ve ever done that. Nevertheless, we are heading out in two weeks…because we’re weird and we don’t actually vacation during the summer. We wait til everyone goes back to school.

At least this year we did. :)

We’ll be gone for 9ish days and are cramming in Green Bay, St. Louis, and Southaven (MS). The majority of our time will be spent in Southaven with friends from Indonesia and meeting up with a few other friends from our days with NICS. It will be really fun to revisit that part of our life.

So, yeah…lots of stuff going on.

It’s sorta been that kind of week. You know, the kind, where you seem to soak up the ocean of Grace you were previously drowning in…and find that you need more? I am so thankful for the grace I experienced this week…all of it undeserved…from my husband, from friends, from my Father.

Sometimes I feel like I’m falling apart.

Then I think of that song by Josh Wilson…

God, I want to know You more,
maybe this is how it starts.
I find You when I fall apart.

So thankful for others who love me, who forgive me…and for what I am learning from their example.

That wasn’t an easy sentence to write, but it’s true.

Well, I need to get back to planning.

And drinking my Powerade. 😉

Sig

Filed Under: just life, random, where I am

Just Mae…and the Cool That She Is

August 18, 2011 by · 1 Comment

I love my girl…and I blog about her often.

I do spend the majority of my time with her, so I guess this is forgivable, right? 😉

The past few days I have j ust

fallen in love with her even more.

I’m not sure if it’s because she’s becoming more independent and more able to reciprocate love…or maybe it’s just because she keeps getting cuter!

The things she says (or tries to say), the things she does, the way she’s becoming this cool, little person…it’s just amazing to watch.

On Sunday and Monday we had several good walks and lots of time outside, and watching her move and explore was just fun…the few steps turned into many, many more.

She adds new words (or at least things that sound like words!) to her vocabulary every day.

She barks at our dogs, which totally cracks me up.

She sees certain neighbors outside and crawls (or toddles) toward them while shouting at them in her Maelie-talk.

Tuesday we had a date with a friend to get Starbucks and walk to Grafelman Park (our favorite!). It’s an outing we take at least every couple of

weeks, and as I sat there and chatted with my friend, I loved watching Mae explore even more.

She’s not afraid of anything, including eating wood chips…can’t say I’m too thrilled with that one! :) I noticed it again today outside in the yard as she was reaching for a not-very-small bug… total curiosity, zero fear.

I stopped for a moment and thought, My daughter is so COOL!

I love how the qualities she displays mirror exactly what Christ meant when he talked about having the faith of a child…innocent, pure, curious, accepting, willing-to-take-risks.

It’s amazing what children can teach us.

Just where I am with mommyhood…loving it even more and loving my Maelie-girl more than ever, too.

Blessed.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Maelie, uncategorized, where I am

Strength

August 2, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So more than any other day since beginning this blogging excursion, I really don’t feel like spilling my heart.

It’s what it is…some days are like that, I guess.

It wasn’t a particularly bad day.

It was actually a good day…I got to have pancakes and coffee with a dear friend, and we ended up talking for, um…hours.

That’ s alway

s nice.

:)

But sometimes with those heart-to-hearts, emotions spill…and I’ m left feeling fragile.

The old Mel would have seen this as a negative thing, but today I’m convinced that God gives us days like this to remind us that it is His Grace on which I should be leaning.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Cor. 12:9-10 (ESV)

Just that kind of day.

So very thankful for His grace that sustains me.

Sig

Filed Under: what I'm learning, where I am

How He Meets Me

August 1, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I’m an extrovert.

That one, little word carries a lot

with it.

It means that I thrive on being social. I need people. I can handle a day or two alone just fine, but to be my happy, crazy self, I need to be around people… preferrably those who can handle my happiness and craziness.

(‘Cause if they can’t, they’re usually grumpy which puts a damper on the happy-crazy Mel-ness that sometimes overabounds.) Ok, did I seriously just type that sentence? :)

It also means that

I talk.

Sometimes a lot. And not just to the wall, either.

Thankfully my daughter can handle me talking to her all day long…and I think she’s learning a few things, too.

(Apparently she had a lot to say during church yesterday…I wasn’t sitting there, though.) And also, thankfully, God has placed some wonderful people in my life who let me talk AND who like to talk, too, teaching me to be a better listener.

When I look back at the last year, I’m surprised I didn’ t go crazy.

I spent, sometimes, strings of three or four days alone with no vehicle and, other than my husband at night, no adult interaction.

Amazingly, I survived, though I’m not always sure how.

Since that time, though, a lot has changed.

I’ve made some friends, I’ve got places to be sometimes, and it’s good. I like to be busy. But when I get to days like today, I struggle.

Today = Monday (ugh), no car, no plans, and (almost) no nap from the girl.

Those days are hard.

While some people who like to be busy thrive on having some alone time, too, for some reason I’m not that way. I think my quiet, semi-alone time might come when I am blogging.

Or sleeping.

I almost slink into a depression when I have nothing going on…and have to remind myself

to not be that way.

But one thing God has shown me in the last couple of months is how He meets me exactly where I am with what I need, not always with what I think I need. Sometimes it’s through a phone call from someone I haven’t talked with in awhile. Other times it’s through friends who are free for coffee and/or the park.

Sometimes He gives me an extra-long nap from Maelie so I can curl up and watch a movie or read a book and have some down time. Other times He meets me with silence and teaches me to be still…something I am continually working on.

The words, God, please meet me exactly where I am today, are uttered from my lips daily.

And He never fails.

He doesn’t always provide things in the way I expect, but He is still good…He’s my Father and He knows what I need.

I’m so thankful for that.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am

There’s No Place Like…

July 28, 2011 by · 4 Comments

Home.

Sig

Filed Under: where I am
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