Today Iโm linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.
Join me!
The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.
Todayโs Topic: Afraid
Really? Really? Do we have to talk about fear today of all days?
Gotta admit that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the FMF topic for today.
Being the emotional worrier that I am, I very much think about the what if’s of life a little too frequently. Before I make a decision…or even get to the point where I might be ready to make a decision…a thousand of these must be considered.
This mama heart…the one that spends her days with the most wonderful little toddler girlie…has a very afraid heart when it comes to the thought of more kids. Oh, it’s been on our minds and in our hearts for a while, for those of you who have wondered.
Gotta be honest, though, and admit how scary that is for me. Babies don’t come easily for me and T. Pregnancy struggles and loss before Maelie were hard enough. I can’t imagine them after.
This fear…this time of truly being afraid…has ruled so much of where my heart is when it comes to more.
Part of me wants to never again subject myself to the pain of loss, while the other part feels a loss for the thought of never trying to have more.
I’m afraid…I am. In some ways, it’s very much like being afraid of the dark…not knowing what ‘s out there. Letting my mind wonder…and not allowing my heart to trust. And in this kind of dark, my Father whispers. I like His whispers because they’re loud and clear. Put Your trust in Me. You don’t need to be afraid.
And so…we trust. Pray for us?
When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3 (NIV)