where I am

Five Minute Friday: Broken

July 25, 2013 by Mel · 38 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Broken

The word hurts.

It does.

Broken.

There are so many things in life that I have allowed to break me…from hurt feelings to parents splitting up to struggling for a baby to being forced to start over in a new place.

And I think sometimes it’s ok to break…to get to that point where there’s nothing left to lean on but my Father.

Because that’s what He does…He takes those who are broken, and when we let Him,

He fixes us.

Heals us.

Glues those broken pieces back together in the way that only He can.

I think back a few years ago…when we stared down so many unanswered questions…life just felt broken.

So broken.

And now I look back, and I just smile…because He knows what He’s doing.

I see that in the little girl who fills my days and the new place that has become our home; in the ways He has led our family and the things He does each day in our lives.

And I’ll take those pieces of life that have been put back together by my Healer any day.

Because they’re beautiful.

Thank you, Father, for taking the broken and making it so much more beautiful than I ever could have dreamed.

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And, could I ask a little favor, sweet friends?

If you haven’t had a chance yet to hop over to CausePub, would you take the time to read my story and vote? I submitted A Moment of Love, and am hoping like crazy that it will be accepted into their book project; the proceeds from this book will go to Blood:Water Mission in Africa.

You can go here to vote for it. Thanks so much!

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Oh, the Places We Eat Breakfast…

July 23, 2013 by Mel · 29 Comments

Becky, Mel, & Missy

So when you look at this picture, I’m sure you think, Awww. Three friends.

Maybe even, awww, three best friends.

You’re getting closer. 😉

We are, in fact, three best friends who have just had breakfast in the driveway at 6:30 a.m.

But there’s a little more to the story. Because there always is and because I like to be a storyteller. (I think it might be my gift.)

Anyway. 😉

Missy and Becky are actually sisters. Like, blood sisters…but we’re all sisters because we just are.

We grew up together from the beginning…like, from the very. beginning.

I don’t remember a time in my life when these girls weren’t part of my life.

Since the two of them are sisters, they are obviously about as close as sisters can be, but they let me be included in that.

They don’t know that it means the world to me to be included in their family. Really.

The three of us got into all kinds of ~~trouble~~ adventures while growing up, and we have so many memories…from summers spent at the community pool to tree climbing to canoeing (one of us may or may not have fallen out of a canoe one day…) to camping out…

We just had the best time.

As happens with most friendships, we’ve gone different directions, but right now, the two of them live within an hour and a half of each other…so when I go back to Iowa, I get to see them both.

Often, at the same time which is pretty much my favorite thing ever…and when it happens, we always, always, take a picture.

On this last trip to Iowa, that didn’t look like it was going to happen, though. I’d stopped to see Becky on my way to my hometown, and Missy was coming back to Illinois with me for a few days, but we didn’t think it would work out to see each other at the same time.

Until someone *brilliant* in the group devised a plan. 😉

Knowing that Missy and I would be passing through Becky’s area around 6:30 a.m., I suggested we meet for breakfast at her house.

The problem?

Was that Becky’s kiddos would still be asleep…and let’s face it, at that hour, it’s always nice if the kids stay asleep. Plus, I didn’t know if Maelie would be awake or asleep or bouncing out of her carseat.

And so we decided to have breakfast together in Becky’s driveway.

Missy and I hit a drive-through on the way for McMuffins and hash browns, and Becky made the coffee and chocolate milk, and we pulled up to her house and parked the van to see…

…something that I wish I had taken a picture of…

Becky had set up the cutest little table and camp chairs in her driveway just for us.

For an hour, we sat there and chatted and ate and drank really good coffee (because Becky makes really good coffee :)) and then ended with the we-need-to-snap-a-photo-of-our-time-together picture.

I treasure these moments, these photos.

I’m so blessed to have these two beautiful women in my life…they are my heart-sisters, and I love them.

And I think this whole breakfast-in-the-driveway thing is kind of a cool tradition.

It’s one I’d like to keep.

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Thanks for stopping by for my take on life behind the iPhone camera lens. 😉 I love this link up on Tuesdays over at my friend, Crystal’s place!

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll hop over for some sweet and crazy and fun and sometimes-sad stories of what actually goes on behind the pictures we share.

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And, could I ask a little favor, sweet friends?

You can go here to vote for it. Thanks so much!

Filed Under: adventures, Behind the Scenes, blessings, friends, just life, remembering, where I am, writing

A Wall to a Foundation: A Guest Post

July 22, 2013 by Mel · 2 Comments

I was never that girl…

…the one invited to sleepovers and parties, the one who had boys lining up for her, the one who was beautiful and had the latest, most perfectly-tight-rolled, Guess Jeans or Keds with the Real. Blue. Tag. on the back of them.

Gotta love the 90’s. 😉

Life in a public school was difficult and so was feeling like I had that group of friends who understood me and had my back.

I remember that day in freshman choir when I realized just how much I wasn’t accepted.

She stood behind me in our second soprano section of singers and kicked the back of knees.

Over and over.

For fun.

I’d always known she was mean, but this seemed like a new low, even for her…and when I turned around with tears in my eyes, she laughed.

The other girls joined her.

And the bricks?

Well, I started to build with them…

Please click here to read the rest of my post, A Wall to a Foundation.

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Today I’m so excited to be guest posting at my dear friend’s space.

Christine is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, a powerful prayer warrior, and an inspiring dreamer. She writes at Living Joel 2:25, and I was so excited when she asked if I’d like to be part of her Rebuilding the Walls blog series! Please stop by and check out her space…I know you’ll leave inspired and encouraged.

Thanks for reading today, sweet friends!

Filed Under: barefoot, encouragement, family, friends, guest posts, remembering, where I am, writing

A Moment of Love: I Need Your Vote!

July 19, 2013 by Mel · 4 Comments

Hi, friends!

So a pretty cool opportunity came up about a week ago. One that I am already so in love with, I hope it’s something I’ll be able to participate in often in the future.

CausePub is an organization that is putting together a crowd-published book called Couch Rebels…meaning lots of people contributing stories for one publication.

If you have ever traveled abroad or placed yourself in an environment that is uncomfortable from what you are used to, you’re a Couch Rebel. It is within those times of choosing to be uncomfortable that we learn, grow, and experience the incredible things life has to offer… and then tell those stories for the rest of our lives. (causepub.com)

The sale of this book will benefit Blood:Water Mission in Africa, which I think is beyond awesome.

320 million Africans are without access to clean water. For every copy of Couch Rebels sold, the organization, Blood:Water Mission, will be able to provide three people with clean water for one year. The goal of this Cause is to sell 15,000 copies, which means that 45,000 lives can be directly impacted through your participation in this CausePub project! (causepub.com)

And I’m thrilled to have the chance to participate!

I’ve submitted the following story, but in order to be part of this publication, I need your help! Would you consider stopping by here to read and vote for it? Thanks so much!

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There are those moments in life that leave an imprint forever; this is one of them.

My husband and I spent five years living and working in Indonesia. Life there…well, it differed drastically from what we’d always known, and many of those differences were good.

They were differences we embraced.

But there was one…one that was so in-my-face and obvious; wherever we went, there were so many people in need.

In every facet of life, it seemed, there were people hurting…from those with housing needs to being hungry; and others unable to send their children to school or lacking the funds for desperately needed medical care.

And then there were people in the kind of need I’d never seen before…

To read more of this story and vote for it, please click here.

Filed Under: barefoot, culture shock, encouragement, Indonesia, remembering, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Confessions of a Former Park Street Girl

July 16, 2013 by Mel · 43 Comments

Today’s photo comes courtesy of a girl who doesn’t necessarily love going back to her hometown.

The why of that is far too long and complicated to get into…it’s just difficult.

I go so Mae can see her grandparents…

…so I can see my family and a handful of friends who live there.

But it’s hard to be in a place that hurts…so much heartbreak and un-belonging. (I’m in the business of making up words these days. ;))

One of the ways I survive (and I say that carefully…it’s obviously not real survival ;)) is by running. I run here, but running there is different because that physical run often turns into a head-on sprint into my past.

Last Tuesday morning, I went for a run through the neighborhood I grew up in.

So much of it hadn’t changed and yet it felt foreign.

I had run from my mom’s house, past my elementary school, through my old neighborhood, down by the park and public pool, around the lake, and on my way back, I decided I needed to run back by the place I’d lived for the first fourteen years of my life.

I really wanted to take a full-on picture but didn’t want to look like a creeper. Instead, I settled for wrestling my iPhone out of my sweaty armband and snapping a photo of the street…but my house is the white one that you can kind of see through the trees. 😉

Running by it was bittersweet…out of my years spent in C-town, those spent in that house…on that street…are the ones that I’m (mostly) ok with revisiting. There were special moments in that neighborhood…bike rides with friends on sidewalks that are still there, getting knocked out with a baseball in the side yard one spring, sledding down our hill every winter, 4th of July fireworks-watching from our backyard.

I do smile when I think of those things, even the baseball knocking out part. 😉

But what I’m kind of glad you can’t see in this picture is the stop sign at the end of the (very long) block.

It’s the corner of Park and Kirby, and it’s an intersection I wish never existed. Ever.

Because when I was ten, that’s where my closest friend in the neighborhood died.

Car accident.

I’m brave enough to drive through it now, but I couldn’t for years. Years.

I ran through it, and while I tried to put out of my mind what had happened there 24 1/2 years ago, the tears still sprang to my eyes.

Some memories are embedded too deeply to ever be erased, I guess.

I’ve tried giving thanks over and over for my hometown, for the pain it holds, for the memories that are there, for the pieces of my heart that will always be tied to this town of 9,000.

I find it hard to say thank you for pain, but He does work through it. He gives and He reminds that He is always good, even when families shatter to bits and girls are mean and friends leave this world way too soon.

Just a few confessions from the small-town piece of my heart I left behind 21 years ago.

Thanks for taking a walk down Park Street and memory lane with me today.

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Happy Tuesday to you all! Today I’m linking up at my friend, Crystal’s place for some sweet and silly and sometimes-tear-jerking storytelling…the kind where we show you pictures and tell you what’s really going on behind the camera lens.

Thanks for taking the time to read my words…I hope you’ll hop over and read more about what’s happening in the lives of some of my favorite bloggy-sisters!

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, just life, remembering, running, where I am

Embracing the Chaos: A Guest Post

July 12, 2013 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Hi, friends!

Today I’m super excited to be writing over at my sweet friend, Kristin’s place, The Riches of His Love.

I met Kristin through the God-Sized Dream team, and she was kind enough to let me share a piece of my heart in her space. I hope you’ll take some time to hop over here to read about the crazy and the chaos (and also the lessons) that came from driving a motorbike in Indonesia. 😉

And maybe from crashing into a few bushes, too…

You’re totally curious now, aren’t you?

😉

Filed Under: blessings, culture shock, encouragement, guest posts, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Beautiful

July 4, 2013 by Mel · 70 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Beautiful

It’s one of my favorite words that she says…beautiful.

Except she doesn’t say it that way.

Flowers are beaufitul.

Mommy is beaufitul. (according to her, anyway!) 😉

The car is beaufitul. (I adore her.)

It’s one of the few words we won’t correct because it’s just so darn cute.

Really, the word, beautiful or beaufitul or however you want to say it…

Is the word I would use to describe this journey.

The journey of mommyhood and being a wife and finding community and dream-chasing.

Oh, it hasn’t been easy…and the days haven’t been perfect.

But when I look back at the end of each day, there is always,

Always

Always a reason to smile.

Life is beautiful.

The blessings He gives are beautiful.

And I’m going to soak up each precious gift He chooses to give.

Especially when those gifts come in the form of a beautiful little girl who says the word in about the most adorable way possible.

Beaufitul.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: In Between

June 27, 2013 by Mel · 54 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: In Between

It’s true what they say…the days are long but the years are short, and we’ve “only” got three years behind us.

I can’t believe how fast it went…how that precious, tiny little girl grew up into such a little lady…one who even steals my headband for certain birthday celebrations. 😉

We celebrated her last week, and it was the strangest mix of joy and disbelief…but really?

Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I. Am. So. Blessed.

Not only am I the one who gets to spend my days with this awesome girlie, but I get all the in between moments…and sometimes those are the best of all.

In between swimming and trying out her new scooter, I get that quick snuggle and I love you, Mommy.

In between a fun morning at the park and the ride home, I get to hold her hand while we walk to the van.

My sweet Mae, let’s hang on to those in between moments and soak them up for all they are.

I hold every one of them in my heart.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, where I am

Behind the Scenes: It Broke Me

June 25, 2013 by Mel · 24 Comments

There are things in life that change us forever.

And this is my story of one of them.

I remember the man.

Not this man…no, this is not my photo.

As my husband put it, There are just things we didn’t feel that we should photograph.

After all, why take a picture of something that made such an indelible, permanent, imprint in our minds and on our hearts?

The man, though…there was just no way we could forget him.

For the first time we saw him, it was shocking.

He didn’t have any legs.

And we’re not talking leg-loss, below-the-knee…no, he didn’t have any part of his legs at all. When a car would drive by with a handout, he would use the strength of his arms to pull himself near the curb where he would hold up his dirty, paper cup and hope for enough coins or even a paper bill to make a difference that day.

We grew accustomed to seeing him and would always have a Rp 1,000 bill ready…about enough to buy him noodles or rice.

Tobin would stretch down from the driver’s window to make sure the money made it into the cup.

It was a tiny way we could help.

But it never got easier to see him. Never.

There was a piece of my heart that always wondered what his story was…too many circumstances prevented me from ever finding that out.

But there was an even bigger piece of my heart that just shattered all over the broken sidewalk where he made his home during the days. That would happen when we’d pass him or any of the many people like him.

The man in this photo reminds me so much of the man we saw so often…because I look at his picture and I wonder what his situation is.

I wonder if he can walk or even get around without someone to help him.

I wonder if he even has someone to help him.

I wonder his story and if there’s a family or a friend…someone, anyone who might love him.

There are stories like this all over the world, not just in Indonesia…but everywhere. Even, literally, around our corners.

It’s true…broken is everywhere, and it comes in many forms. This man’s brokenness was more obvious that some, but the truth is that, in some way, we’re all broken.

Sometimes pictures are hard to look at, and the stories behind them even more difficult to hear.

But I know how this man…and the crippled man on Jalan Pasteur and the too many children with empty eyes and the hundreds, even thousands, of others….changed my heart.

Yes, they broke it, too…but they changed it at the same time.

Or, maybe, my Father used them to change it.

I still struggle with how it’s possible to love everyone.

It’s not.

But I can love the people who are around me, those God brings into my life…and that looks different with every person.

There’s no “how-to” with Love…it’s just simply a choice. And it’s one I want to make every day.

That’s the story behind why I posted this photo…

Thank you for taking the time to read it.

(Special thanks and photo credit to Eki Akhwan of Bandung Daily Photo. Used by permission.)

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It’s Tuesday, and one of my favorite link up days! My friend, Crystal, invites us all to her space to share the real of life behind the photos that make up our days.

I hope you’ll hop over and read some incredible stories of the things that take place behind the camera lens.

Filed Under: barefoot, Behind the Scenes, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Oh, the Silence

June 24, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

To most people, silence is golden.

I think of that often, especially since I’m mama to the sweetest…and possibly most talkative ever…toddler. We DO have a good time…we also do a lot of chatting. 😉

So for me, if there’s too much silence, something is wrong.

Which is actually funny if any of you knew me at all between the ages of 0 and 20-ish.

I kind of didn’t talk much. Or, really, at all.

And then I decided enough was enough…and maybe I started making up for the two decades I didn’t talk. 😉

Honestly, it’s been a test in maturity for me. I can truly talk someone’s ear off…I really have to be careful to keep a rein on my tongue and decide when to use my words and when to use my ears. Because, in my mind, there’s almost nothing better than sitting down with a friend and chatting it up for hours.

And hours.

And even more hours, if we have those hours. 😉

And for a long time in this space, it was the same way. Talk, talk, talk (aka: write, write, write) all the time, every day, without fail.

I began to find my worth in the number of times I hit the publish button on this page.

I was learning anything but silence during that time.

And then it happened…about a year ago. Instead of writing seven days a week, it went down to six. Then five, then four, and I sat at four for quite awhile. And then somewhere in there it went down even further to two or three.

I began to struggle for words…and for a writer, that’s similar to a struggle for air.

And I fought God more than you can possibly imagine.

What’s wrong with me, God? Where are the words? Where are the deep thoughts and lessons?

I felt useless.

Instead of basking in the gift of silence, of reflection, I was fighting it, determined to be noisy and heard.

Oh, Mel.

Mel.

Mel.

How often I act like this in life.

Instead of sitting and listening, whether it’s to a dear friend or my husband or my daughter or God…I beg for someone to listen to my words.

Friends, it’s become my time to be silent-er. (I do believe I just made up a new word.) 😉

Actually, it’s been that way for awhile; I just haven’t wanted to admit it.

That’s why this place has been so quiet lately.

There are still a few blog posts each week, but I’m well aware that I don’t share nearly as much as I used to.

The truth is that there’s a lot going on in my heart, and while it feels like He’s been putting me through the fire a little lately, I know His purpose is to refine me.

I’m seeing that refining and taking the time to process some really cool things…and, hopefully, I’ll be able to find the words for them soon.

And that’s really, really good.

I’m moving forward on a couple of dreams that I haven’t talked about too much here. Yet. 😉

One is in the works…being a contributing writer. And I’ve gotta tell you, friends…it’s been nothing short of incredible to watch God move on this one.

Ooohhh, I really can’t wait to tell you more soon!

And I’m taking a big, scary step and going for another dream today.

I don’t know when I’ll have an answer to this one, but I do know that if I don’t take this step…though it feels more like a gigantic leap off the edge of a cliff?! 😉

I’ll always wonder and wish…and just regret that I let the Chihuahua of Fear win. (Nope, you annoying, little, ankle-biter…you’re not winning this one.)

I’m believing that He’s got good plans always…even when I can’t see them just yet.

I. Just. Need. To. Trust.

And take the time to be still and know that He is God.

He’s. Got. It. All.

So thanks for hanging with me through the quieter days in this space, for stopping by and leaving comment love, for connecting and Tweeting with me…for just being there.

I’m so blessed by each of you.

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Five Minute Friday: Broken

Behind the Scenes: Oh, the Places We Eat Breakfast…

A Wall to a Foundation: A Guest Post

A Moment of Love: I Need Your Vote!

Behind the Scenes: Confessions of a Former Park Street Girl

Embracing the Chaos: A Guest Post

Five-Minute Friday: Beautiful

Five-Minute Friday: In Between

Behind the Scenes: It Broke Me

Oh, the Silence

Mel

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