Biting My Tongue

October 4, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So…yeah. I actually wrote a pretty good post for tonight.

I’ m happy with the things I said.

But I’ m not happy about how I said the

m.

A few months ago I wrote a post about how I wanted the things

I write to glorify my Father.

And I’m still processing whether the things that came out in what I wrote tonight were s aid in

a w

ay that gives Him the glory.

Not so sure about that one.

So, tonight, I’m going to sit here and think about what it means to bite my tongue (figuratively ;)) when it comes to the blog.

Bummer…I know you were all hopin’ for some deep thoughts from Mel.

We’ll get there.

And if you’re really dying for some deep thoughts, pop back over to the post I linked.

It was good for me to read it again; maybe it will make you think, too.

:)

G’nite!

Sig

Filed Under: what I'm learning, writing

Contemplating Joy

September 25, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

My sweet blogging friend, 10 cheap generic mg nolvadex

engirl.blogspot.com/”>Sara, passed away late last night.

She is at peace, in the presence of both her earthly fat

her and her Heavenly Father, pain free, and dancing.

Dancing…I’m sure of it. :) There are so many reasons to find joy though  my heart aches for her family and friends.

Please keep them in your prayers this week as they say goodbye.

This morning I went to sign in to my blog to find out it was

hacked. Big time. What a mess.

Yeah, it stressed me out, but I was able to leave it alone and go on with my morning. Maybe thinking about Sara just put things in perspective…it is only a blog.

And five hours later, it was back up.

I realized when changing Mae’s diaper right before I had to leave for church that her rash had gotten worse and that she now had it by her mouth and on her feet as well. No church for the girl…home with daddy it was.

Despite her rash, though, Mae was a really happy girl today, full of laughter and giggles…and joy.

And I went to church this morning, discovering all three of these things within less than an hour of when I had to be there.

I was full of anything but joy…but I was aware of it, and I prayed that God would give me that joy.

I found a friend right before praise team practice, let some tears flow, and moved on, determined to smile.

Friends, it is true that God gives joy, even on the bad days.

There were So. Many. Reasons. To. Smile. today.

:) Time at church that left my heart happy.

:) I really, really love to sing. And we sang my very favorite song ever today. That was special.

:) Absolutely gorgeous sunshine, which defied the weatherman for the second day in a row.

Yahoo!

:) Time to get a few things done and to…ahem…cook. (Still not sure if I find joy in cooking, but whatever.)

:) A sweet end to the Packers/Bears game.

:) Good friends (and Bears fans!) to watch the game with.

:) All of us laughing hysterically at the antics of Mae…there will be a picture posted very, very soon of her toddling around in her too-big footie pj’s. So, so funny.

It did my heart good to laugh that hard!

:) A bit of reflecting and realizing what a gift Sara was to so, so many people. I will miss her but am so thankful for the piece of her heart she left with each of us.

God is Good.

And He gives Joy.

Love.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, what I'm learning

Finding Adventure

September 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

“Attitude: The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure.”

My favorite quote.

Ever.

We’ve been completely blessed to have some of the most awesome adventures…many, things I never even dreamed I’d get to do.

Like…surf the waters of the Indian Ocean. Hike through a remote jungle in Sumatra. Drive a motorbike in an over-crowded city with no driving rules…and not die. (The not-dying part is big.) Swim in the Amazon River. Snorkel in the Caribbean. Ride an elephant in Thailand. See the Towers in Kuala Lumpur.

Yeah, I’m going somewhere with this.

Cause I’ve also had other adventures that don’t involve being halfway around the world.

Like…leaving home when I was barely eighteen years old to make a life for myself. Watching God take a shy, afraid-to-talk-in-public girl and turn her into someone who could give speeches and sing solos and do something for Him. Falling in love at the one time in life when I did NOT want it. Marrying him anyway.

(THAT has been an adventure. ;)) Dreaming…and seeing the goodness of God when He worked things out according to His plan and not mine.

Giving birth to the most amazing little girl.

Learning to love in a way I never dreamed possible. Leaving all we’d known (again) to start a new life in a new place. Seeing God bless…again. 😉 Learning to love a place I never thought

I could.

Those? Are adventures, too.

The quote above was shared with us by a couple we met while backpacking in Cape Town.

They had taken a year off from life, sold everything, and were seeing the world.

I was envious, I was fascinated, and I clung to each story they shared.

Because a theme emerged…no matter where they were or what the situation…there was an adventure to be had. One that would stretch them, amaze them, teach them. And make them better people.

We spent less than two days with Brad and Dennyse, but I have never forgotten them or the wisdom they passed on to us through this quote and the stories that came with it. It’s a mentality that we, as a couple and now family, have tried to practice.

Adventure is all around us…and it’s all about attitude.

Whether we’re living a crazy life in Southeast Asia or a more “normal” one in the Midwest.

Whether we’re taking a trip to Bali or a drive to the South to see some dear friends.

Whether we’re off on a romantic getaway or a family road trip.

There’s adventure.

Today I woke up. (A little late, but I needed the sleep…) I made coffee, worked out, had breakfast, and got the girl up. She’s finishing her breakfast now, and then we’ll probably play outside and go for a walk while the weather is still beautiful.

Then I’ll get some things done around the house, get a few thank-you’s written (hopefully!), and head to work for a few hours.

It’s normal…it’s life.

But there are adventures even in normal.

And I hope I never, ever forget to find them.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Living Love

September 10, 2011 by · 2 Comments

So I’ll be the first to admit that the blog has been a little dry the past few weeks.

Like I said before, I’m not exactly uninspired…just lacking good sentence structure, maybe

? 😉

Or the emotional ability to be transparent.

It’ s been an overwhelming week.

Exactly one week ago, we were facing a very busy eight days before leaving for vacation and talking about how much time we’d need to spend on the fence to get it finished before we go. (This was to make life easier for the people taking care of our dogs. Two crazy dogs + no fence = no fun for anyone.)

Then? Less than an hour into the project…

It snapped. (Literally.)

On the second fence post hole, which my husband was using a power auger to dig, he hit a rock, it jerked, and broke his wrist. Tobin actually finished the holes and did some more work on Sunday, too, but by Sunday night, we knew that he needed x-rays.

Monday morning it was confirmed that his wrist was broken, and we spent that day wondering how on earth this fence was going to be finished in time.

That’s when Jonny, our friend and neighbor, told him not to worry…that the fence would get done.

During the past several days, Jonny and his son have spent countless hours at our house, finishing the fence this afternoon.

And I have to admit to you that I had a hard time accepting this kind of generosity at first…how on earth do you return this kind of love

?

Because that’s what it is, friends…LOVE.

I have been so challenged this week by that word and all it carries with it.

Because Love

is a Verb.

And this week we’ve seen that Love.

Living Love.

It’s so, so easy…to say it, to believe it…

But to actually demonstrate it?

Well, when it’s shown…it reflects Christ.

And that’s what we’ve seen this week.

.. through our dear friends.

Some people have questioned the changes in our lives this past year…including joining a Lutheran church. But as we returned from Indonesia last year and began searching for a new church, we pretty much threw out denomination as a deciding factor.

The two deciding points for us were that the church lives the Bible and that we see the love of Christ in the people of our church…not in the words they say but through their actions.

It’s humbling; at times, it’s difficult to grasp; but it’s genuine.

And we’re learning to accept it…as a gift from people who love us, knowing that it’s not possible to repay. Just to love back.

And if this lesson in love weren’t enough, yesterday I came home to see that our yard had been cleaned up. (We have a dozen raccoons living in our trees who had made quite the mess.) I found out later that our sweet neighbors, who are in their 80’s, had come over that morning while Mae and I were gone and cleaned up the yard.

Five big lawn bags worth.

Living Love again.

I can’t look at my yard right now without tears filling my eyes.

Because…we’re loved. Not just by our friends and neighbors but by

our Father.

The One Who sent His Son to live out Love on this earth and give us that perfect example.

Exactly what we’ve seen this week.

I know I have a long way to go, but if there’s one thing I want for myself, for my husband, for my daughter…it’s the capacity to Love just as we’ve seen this week.

To Live Love.

Our clean yard.

:)

Jonny working on the fence and helping Mae put her handprint in cement. :)

What about you

? How have you seen living love in your life?

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, friends, what I'm learning, where I am

I Am FREE!

September 4, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I am FREE

to run,
I

am FREE to dance,
I am

FREE to live for You.


I am FREE.

..I am FREE.

We sang this song at church this morning…and as we were singing it, I couldn’t help but realize how well it sums up the past year of our lives.

While we have chosen to look at the positives in the past (well, mostly ;)) Tobin and I will both admit that, at times, being a Christian felt a lot like being a slave. So many rules and do’s and don’ts…it felt like there was no freedom to be the people God created us

to be.

“For freedom in Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Galatians 5:13

I love these verses…THIS is exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out all year.

Christianity is about living for God in the freedom we have in Christ. The things that used to bind us DON’T anymore. We’re not held in bondage to sin any longer because of the gift of love from our Father in the form of the greatest sacrifice the world has ever seen.

Does being free mean that I can use the grace lavished on me as an excuse to do whatever I want

? No…it’s not about self, but about loving others, something my husband and I have tried to be so intentional about. We’re not there yet, but God is teaching us.

And we’re trying to learn.

Today, I am FREE…

To live for Him!

And I might just do a little dance while I live.

Sig

Filed Under: church, what I'm learning, where I am

Infinitely Mae

August 24, 2011 by · 1 Comment

I failed mommyhood today.

Like, an epic failure…it was not pretty.

I’m not sure why…but I was frustrated, annoyed, not at ALL patient, and almost-mean… to my daughter.

I hadn’t seen her most of the morning because I was busy with something and Tobin had the morning off. I literally spent an hour with her, and all of a sudden she was just…difficult.

Translation: she was ONE.

It was hot, she was getting into everything, and so I thought that was the perfect opportunity for her to play in her pool. We suited her up, I plopped her in, and all was good.

For two minutes.

Then she decided to play the game, I-love-to-get-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-my-pool.

40 times.

In between those times, she’d take handfuls of rocks, play with them, try to stick one (or more) in her mouth. You know, the fun things that one year olds do to drive their mommies crazy. :)

And somewhere in there I just got annoyed.

I had been trying to watch my girl and catch up with a friend on the phone at the same time…and Mae was making that hard.

I gave up after about twenty minutes and took her inside, gave her an afternoon bottle, and put her down for her nap.

And then I felt horrible.

What was it that Mae was doing SO wrong? Nothing, really. Other than being herself.

She woke up around 4:15, which gave me time to play with her before I had to leave for my hair appointment.

As I was soaking up the Mae-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-cuddle moments, I started to make up a song for her.

And some where in the song, the words, And you are infinitely Mae, came out of my mouth.

She giggled, I smiled…and then I realized how true those words were.

It’s exactly who she is… the best possible Mae in

the world.

There is no other person in the world who can be Maelie better than she can.

Sure, she will do things that get on my nerves.

Of course she’s going to get into trouble…she’s one year old and curious.

Yes, she will put rocks in her mouth occasionally because that’s just what kids do.

And every day, she will melt my heart because she’s my girl.

We’ll have days like today sometimes.

When they happen, I need to do two things.

Work on replacing my impatience with love. And have more grace for myself, too.

I love my Mae… and all that she is.

Even on days like today.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning

Strength

August 2, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So more than any other day since beginning this blogging excursion, I really don’t feel like spilling my heart.

It’s what it is…some days are like that, I guess.

It wasn’t a particularly bad day.

It was actually a good day…I got to have pancakes and coffee with a dear friend, and we ended up talking for, um…hours.

That’ s alway

s nice.

:)

But sometimes with those heart-to-hearts, emotions spill…and I’ m left feeling fragile.

The old Mel would have seen this as a negative thing, but today I’m convinced that God gives us days like this to remind us that it is His Grace on which I should be leaning.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Cor. 12:9-10 (ESV)

Just that kind of day.

So very thankful for His grace that sustains me.

Sig

Filed Under: what I'm learning, where I am

How He Meets Me

August 1, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I’m an extrovert.

That one, little word carries a lot

with it.

It means that I thrive on being social. I need people. I can handle a day or two alone just fine, but to be my happy, crazy self, I need to be around people… preferrably those who can handle my happiness and craziness.

(‘Cause if they can’t, they’re usually grumpy which puts a damper on the happy-crazy Mel-ness that sometimes overabounds.) Ok, did I seriously just type that sentence? :)

It also means that

I talk.

Sometimes a lot. And not just to the wall, either.

Thankfully my daughter can handle me talking to her all day long…and I think she’s learning a few things, too.

(Apparently she had a lot to say during church yesterday…I wasn’t sitting there, though.) And also, thankfully, God has placed some wonderful people in my life who let me talk AND who like to talk, too, teaching me to be a better listener.

When I look back at the last year, I’m surprised I didn’ t go crazy.

I spent, sometimes, strings of three or four days alone with no vehicle and, other than my husband at night, no adult interaction.

Amazingly, I survived, though I’m not always sure how.

Since that time, though, a lot has changed.

I’ve made some friends, I’ve got places to be sometimes, and it’s good. I like to be busy. But when I get to days like today, I struggle.

Today = Monday (ugh), no car, no plans, and (almost) no nap from the girl.

Those days are hard.

While some people who like to be busy thrive on having some alone time, too, for some reason I’m not that way. I think my quiet, semi-alone time might come when I am blogging.

Or sleeping.

I almost slink into a depression when I have nothing going on…and have to remind myself

to not be that way.

But one thing God has shown me in the last couple of months is how He meets me exactly where I am with what I need, not always with what I think I need. Sometimes it’s through a phone call from someone I haven’t talked with in awhile. Other times it’s through friends who are free for coffee and/or the park.

Sometimes He gives me an extra-long nap from Maelie so I can curl up and watch a movie or read a book and have some down time. Other times He meets me with silence and teaches me to be still…something I am continually working on.

The words, God, please meet me exactly where I am today, are uttered from my lips daily.

And He never fails.

He doesn’t always provide things in the way I expect, but He is still good…He’s my Father and He knows what I need.

I’m so thankful for that.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am

Being Happy

July 25, 2011 by · 2 Comments

So, in general, I’m a pretty upbe

at person.

I think that’s mostly because I’m an extrovert, energetic, and tend to do crazy things that most people don’t do. Those things (aka: energy) often translate as being happy/upbeat.

I guess that’ s a good thing.

Tonight I was chatting with a friend about happiness, and a few thoughts stuck in my mind. So much that you get to read about being happy instead of a week in pictures…we’ll save that one for tomorrow.

😉

For a long time I struggled finding contentment in day to day life.

This happened mostly once I got married.

Life settled into a routine, and I needed things that would keep it interesting. I guess I get bored easily? A few years later, we headed to Indonesia, which definitely kept life entertaining… and full of surprises, so it was never boring.

Then we moved back…had a baby, moved to a new place, basically started over…and had a year full of change.

Now we are just days away from closing on this house.

It’s exciting, overwhelming, and slightly scary to think about such a commitment.

This is going to be life. And don’t misunderstand me…I love my life.

But sometimes, on those boring days when it seems that routine is trumping fun and spontaneity, it’s easy for me to slump into a short depression.

I’m realizing now, more than ever, that on some days, happiness will need to be a choice I make.

And even if I’m not feeling it, I’ll need to choose to be joyful because of the many ways that I’ve been blessed. And on those happy days when the joy is just bursting, I need to soak up every second of it…and probably spread it to others. (Which usually happens, whether they want it or not!) :)

I also realized that part of happiness is being content with the stage of life I am in.

I’ve had a few good cries lately…weeping.

Literally. (My eyeliner ran…the stuff that lasts all day and can usually handle a cry or two.)

I saw some pictures from Indo that just tugged on my heart, and I sobbed over those people and places that were such an integral part of my life. Tears fell for a time in my life that I can never have again.

The time that was so good, so hard…and so full of memories.

Some days I want Indonesia back…but I still want my life now, too. Funny how we always want more…it seems that way, anyway.

I don’t apologize for crying over Indo…but I do know that I need to appreciate and love each piece of life while choosing to live in the present. Maybe for me, that means not looking at so many pictures of then and focusing on taking snapshots of now. Maybe it means not writing about it so much. (Though I am already working on my book on Indonesia, so we’ll see how that goes.) It definitely means focusing on the many blessings that surround me.

I’m ending this post even though it seems slightly incomplete.

Maybe I’ll finish it another day.

Just my thoughts and where I am tonight.

Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, Indonesia, what I'm learning, where I am

Foolish Choices

July 15, 2011 by · 1 Comment

Yesterday Maelie and I stopped in at the salon

where I get my hair cut. I needed to change my appointment, and since we were driving by, I figured we’d stop in and say hello.

We had to wait a few minutes before the girl who cuts my hair was free, and we weren’t in a hurry, so we kind of just hung out, chatted a bit…you know, what ENFP’s do best.

:)

While we were there, there was a woman paying for her haircut who lo oke

d pretty close to tears. She had super short hair, but it didn’t look bad, and I would never have thought anything of it if she hadn’t look so devastated.

The lady who had cut her hair said something to the effect of, Don’t feel so bad. I know it’s not what you wanted, but it’s looks good.

Of course, whether I was trying to eavesdrop or not, this totally piques the curiosity. (Especially when this is where I get my hair cut!

:))

I didn’t even have to ask, though.

It turned out, this woman, who’d had pretty long hair, had tried to give herself a haircut she saw and liked…and, um…no.

My first thought was, Duh, who does that

? Then I stopped myself, mostly because I’ve taken plenty of snips at my own head, though I’ve never tried to actually give myself a full haircut.

And? I was reminded of a time

when I did something similar…and the consequences were costly.

I was a junior in Bible college, and let’s just be blunt here…I’d bend rules wherever possible. And that included bleaching my hair to a very unnatural shade of blonde. Had I actually bleached it the right way, I would have probably been better off.

But, no.

I used Sun-In.

Every day.

For months.

You can only imagine the horrible shape my hair was in by the time I decided it was time to stop and return to the world of brunette glory.

I made an appointment to get it colored…and let’s give Mel a few points for brains here. At least I didn’t try to color it on my own…I knew better by then.

The day arrived, and I went into the salon. The guy colored it, but once he finished…

He knew.

I knew.

We. All. Knew.

This wasn’t good.

My hair took the color fine, but it was SO dry…SO breaking off.

Really…it was bad.

I had one option left…cut it all.

I ended up with the shortest haircut I’ve ever had…I think all of my hair was an inch long or shorter.

Thankfully, I’m cute and can pull it off. 😉 Just kidding.

For someone to go from shoulder-length, super blonde hair…to boy-short, dark brown hair

? That’s a shock to the system.

I couldn’t look in the mirror for a week without thinking I was seeing someone else.

And for a few hours, I wore a hat, hoping that by covering

that costly mistake that it would somehow be erased.

It wasn’t. (Obviously.) And it’s not like I could hide for very long.

I had to sing at church the very next morning and had classes on Monday…no hats allowed.

So, in my mind, my foolish choice was displayed for the world to see.

It was completely humbling.

And I tell you all of that…of course, because I love a good story, but also because there was a lesson to be learned there. Or more than one lesson…

One of the consequences of choosing to do things my own way.

Yet another on what it’s like to face those consequences with others watching.

And still another about the Grace of my Father and how He salvaged the wreck I had created.

I made a poor decision, and there was a costly consequence…well, at the time. My hair grew back when I actually took the time to grow it out. I ended up loving that haircut and kept it for about a year and half.

Sometimes we mess up… choose to do things our own way and pay for those mistakes.

I am so thankful for a Father Who loves me and extends His mercy and grace to cover those mistakes…and can even make something beautiful out of them.

Yet, while I am thankful for those things, I pray even more that He will keep me from making those foolish choices in the first place.

Amen?

Amen.

P.S. I looked for a good pic of that haircut but couldn’t find one (that’s scanned, anyway). This one was taken after it grew out a bit, but it’s still ok. And you get to see one of my buddies from Peru. Good memories. :)

Sig

Filed Under: hair, remembering, what I'm learning
«Previous Page
Next Page»