On Accountability, Compassion, and Being a Playground-Mama: A Guest Post

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As the mama of a sweet, but spunky, three year-old, I know what it’s like to have what I like to call playground-mama moments.

Oh, and they come in all different shapes and sizes…and levels of embarrassment, too.

For instance, there might be the kind when I unleash my words at whoever-or-whatever may-or-may-not-be harming my child.

My first memorable one was around the time Mae was 18 months old.

A later walker, she was finally steady on her feet and running everywhere. She couldn’t get enough exploring, climbing, sliding, and jumping.

One day near Christmas that year, I took her to the playplace at the mall near our house. She was running around, squealing in all of her cuteness (and there’s a lot of it!), loving every second, when…Bam.

Like, physically, bam.

Some too-big-for-the-playplace boy came barreling around a corner, running right over her.

I ran to her, made sure she wasn’t hurt, and then I unleashed…

My Playground-Mama Fury…

Today I’m excited to be guest posting at my friend, Gindi’s space. Gindi is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, and she has been such an amazing encouragement to me in the last year. I’m honored to share my words on her blog today. You can go here to read the rest of my guest post!

Happy Monday, friends! :)

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Five-Minute Friday: Last

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Last

Oh, goodness.

Well, when I saw the prompt, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about…but it’s kind of one of those things I’d rather erase from my mind forever.

So we’ve all been there…gym class.

For the sake of this story, let’s go back to the *joyous* days of middle school.

It’s time to pick teams for scooter hockey. (Did anyone else play that?)

And there she sits…Mel. Awkwardly, criss-crossed legs, too short uniform shorts, wearing a red t-shirt, Mel.

Watching the others being picked one by one.

By one.

By one.

Until there’s only one.

And then Mr. Captain finally calls out her name, and she stands up.

Walks over to the team that has to take her but doesn’t really want her.

And all the joy of that day’s game is gone…because she feels like she doesn’t belong.

I’m grown up now, but occasionally those feelings still creep back…the kind that say,

You’re not good enough.

You don’t have a place here.

And maybe that’s why I’m so glad that even if I’m one of those who is picked last sometimes (and maybe we all are) that I’m still precious in His sight.

I belong.

We all do.

And if we were choosing teams for scooter hockey tonight, friends, I’d want you all on my team. 😉

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: On Anniversaries and Selfies

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Just throwing this out there…

I’m not a selfie taker, typically.

I’ve got nothing against those of you who can magically hold out your iPhone and, almost instantaneously, snap the most perfect, flattering, photo of your gorgeous face and hair and then post it to facebook for all the world to see.

I’m just not that person, usually, but it’s all good.

I can appreciate your gifts.

Anyway. 😉

So we went out on a date to celebrate our 11th anniversary on Sunday night. (A day late…BOO on migraines. Yay for babysitters who can do a last-minute switch on nights.) 😉

As most of our anniversary dates tend to be, this one didn’t turn out quite like we envisioned. (If I told you some of the unique ways we’ve spent our anniversary…let’s just say it would be an entertaining series of blog posts. ;))

However, that’s ok…we’re learning to embrace the surprises that come along.

So we started our big night out at Costco.

Yes, we did.

We got ice cream and then walked around and bought some cleaning supplies that we needed because, let’s face it, the key to a happy marriage is making sure the bathrooms are clean, right? 😉

Then we made our way over to a restaurant we’ve driven by a hundred times. And every time we’ve driven by, I’ve said, We need to go there for dinner sometime.

So we did.

It was this little Mexican place, El Molino, and while it’s not in my top ten, the green salsa was pretty awesome, as were the enchiladas. I’d go back. :)

The service was super fast, and after dinner, we were faced with almost two hours before we told the babysitter we’d be home.

What to do, what to do?

Hmmmm…remember that time three years ago when we had a four week-old and were looking for a place to live and we saw a bunch of houses, some that were in slightly sketchy areas of town? Let’s go find them!

Guys, we totally did.

Pulled the GPS up on the phone and drove all over town. (Technically, all over two towns.)

We managed to find the first house we looked at, and the sight of that one only made me breathe thanks over and over that God had other plans for us.

We think we found another one (but the new owners had painted it rusty-icky-brown…really?!), and we’d liked this one a lot, but it didn’t work out. That’s more than ok…we love where we are. :)

And after that we were kind of over the whole, let’s-go-find-the-houses-we-didn’t-end-up-renting, thing. (Especially because I felt like a total creeper… ;))

So we went to Dunkin’ Donuts. We wanted coffee because we just did.

Or, maybe I did.

That’s because I’m breathing. 😉

Our mistake was that we went INTO the store instead of just doing drive-thru. So, of course, we walked out with donuts, which we totally needed after ice cream and too many chips-and-salsa-plus-dinner.

It is a good thing we went in, though, because it gave us the perfect opportunity to document our adventure-filled, so-not-predictable, anniversary date With. A. Selfie.

Complete with a very-slight, sneak peek of my, in-my-husband’s-words, psychodelic vest.

The same vest he went practically-to-the-moon-and-back to get for me. (Thinking that might be another post in itself, though…come back next week?  Trust me, it’s worth it. ;))

In all of this, selfie-pic-taking-included, I smiled.

We haven’t had an easy road. This marriage thing has been a lot of things…and easy hasn’t been one of them.

But the smiles in this selfie? They’re real.

For all of the hard moments, the days when we wondered whether we should even keep doing this anymore…this year.

This moment.

I’m thankful.

We know it’s worth it and that it always will be.

I love this guy, I do.

I’m so blessed to walk this thing called life with him by my side.

And I could gush and gush here, but I hope the smiles say it all instead.

Here’s to selfies that document what words often can’t.

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On Tuesdays, I link up at my friend, Crystal’s place, for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time and stop by for some of my favorite reads of the week written by my sweet, blogging sisters. They’ll make you laugh, cry, and remind you of how good life is and how fun the stories can be behind the camera lens. :)

Thanks for stopping by today, friends!

crystalstine.me

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Five-Minute Friday: Story

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Story

Messy.

Ugly.

Unloved.

Unwanted.

For years, this is how I thought my story would end up.

For years, I lived with the belief that I was these things.

Oh, how wrong I was.

You see, He was using those moments, those tears to write my story.

He took the ugly pieces, the messy ones, the ones that made me feel like I had no place at all…and He wove them together into something I could have never pieced together on my own.

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He gave me a man (the one I celebrate 11 years with on Saturday!) to love me and take care of me.

He gave us a sweet, precious, gift of a daughter.

He gave us community and family and friends…a place for our story to be written.

A place to belong.

He’s led us step by step…sometimes with just enough light for the next step, but always leading.

My Father?

He’s the best author.

Because He can take any story…any storyand turn it into a beautiful one.

And no matter how long this chapter is, or where the next one lies, I know something.

I know that it will be good because He is Good.

Five Minute Friday

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Five Minute Friday: Broken

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Broken

The word hurts.

It does.

Broken.

There are so many things in life that I have allowed to break me…from hurt feelings to parents splitting up to struggling for a baby to being forced to start over in a new place.

And I think sometimes it’s ok to break…to get to that point where there’s nothing left to lean on but my Father.

Because that’s what He does…He takes those who are broken, and when we let Him,

He fixes us.

Heals us.

Glues those broken pieces back together in the way that only He can.

I think back a few years ago…when we stared down so many unanswered questions…life just felt broken.

So broken.

And now I look back, and I just smile…because He knows what He’s doing.

I see that in the little girl who fills my days and the new place that has become our home; in the ways He has led our family and the things He does each day in our lives.

And I’ll take those pieces of life that have been put back together by my Healer any day.

Because they’re beautiful.

Thank you, Father, for taking the broken and making it so much more beautiful than I ever could have dreamed.

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Five Minute Friday

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And, could I ask a little favor, sweet friends? :)

If you haven’t had a chance yet to hop over to CausePub, would you take the time to read my story and vote?  I submitted A Moment of Love,  and am hoping like crazy that it will be accepted into their book project; the proceeds from this book will go to Blood:Water Mission in Africa.

You can go here to vote for it. :) Thanks so much!

couchrebels

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Behind the Scenes: Oh, the Places We Eat Breakfast…

photo(13)Becky, Mel, & Missy

So when you look at this picture, I’m sure you think, Awww. Three friends.

Maybe even, awww, three best friends.

You’re getting closer. 😉

We are, in fact, three best friends who have just had breakfast in the driveway at 6:30 a.m.

But there’s a little more to the story. Because there always is and because I like to be a storyteller. (I think it might be my gift.)

Anyway. 😉

Missy and Becky are actually sisters. Like, blood sisters…but we’re all sisters because we just are.

We grew up together from the beginning…like, from the very. beginning. 

I don’t remember a time in my life when these girls weren’t part of my life. 

Since the two of them are sisters, they are obviously about as close as sisters can be, but they let me be included in that.

They don’t know that it means the world to me to be included in their family. Really.

The three of us got into all kinds of trouble adventures while growing up, and we have so many memories…from summers spent at the community pool to tree climbing to canoeing (one of us may or may not have fallen out of a canoe one day…) to camping out…

We just had the best time.

As happens with most friendships, we’ve gone different directions, but right now, the two of them live within an hour and a half of each other…so when I go back to Iowa, I get to see them both. :)

Often, at the same time which is pretty much my favorite thing ever…and when it happens, we always, always, take a picture.

On this last trip to Iowa, that didn’t look like it was going to happen, though. I’d stopped to see Becky on my way to my hometown, and Missy was coming back to Illinois with me for a few days, but we didn’t think it would work out to see each other at the same time.

Until someone *brilliant* in the group devised a plan. 😉

Knowing that Missy and I would be passing through Becky’s area around 6:30 a.m., I suggested we meet for breakfast at her house.

The problem?

Was that Becky’s kiddos would still be asleep…and let’s face it, at that hour, it’s always nice if the kids stay asleep. Plus, I didn’t know if Maelie would be awake or asleep or bouncing out of her carseat.

And so we decided to have breakfast together in Becky’s driveway.

Missy and I hit a drive-through on the way for McMuffins and hash browns, and Becky made the coffee and chocolate milk, and we pulled up to her house and parked the van to see…

…something that I wish I had taken a picture of…

Becky had set up the cutest little table and camp chairs in her driveway just for us. :)

For an hour, we sat there and chatted and ate and drank really good coffee (because Becky makes really good coffee :)) and then ended with the we-need-to-snap-a-photo-of-our-time-together picture.

I treasure these moments, these photos.

I’m so blessed to have these two beautiful women in my life…they are my heart-sisters, and I love them.

And I think this whole breakfast-in-the-driveway thing is kind of a cool tradition.

It’s one I’d like to keep. :)

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Thanks for stopping by for my take on life behind the iPhone camera lens. 😉 I love this link up on Tuesdays over at my friend, Crystal’s place!

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll hop over for some sweet and crazy and fun and sometimes-sad stories of what actually goes on behind the pictures we share.

crystalstine.me

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And, could I ask a little favor, sweet friends? :)

If you haven’t had a chance yet to hop over to CausePub, would you take the time to read my story and vote?  I submitted A Moment of Love,  and am hoping like crazy that it will be accepted into their book project; the proceeds from this book will go to Blood:Water Mission in Africa.

You can go here to vote for it. :) Thanks so much!

couchrebels

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A Wall to a Foundation: A Guest Post

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I was never that girl…

…the one invited to sleepovers and parties, the one who had boys lining up for her, the one who was beautiful and had the latest, most perfectly-tight-rolled, Guess Jeans or Keds with the Real. Blue. Tag. on the back of them.

Gotta love the 90’s. 😉

Life in a public school was difficult and so was feeling like I had that group of friends who understood me and had my back.

I remember that day in freshman choir when I realized just how much I wasn’t accepted.

She stood behind me in our second soprano section of singers and kicked the back of knees.

Over and over.

For fun.

I’d always known she was mean, but this seemed like a new low, even for her…and when I turned around with tears in my eyes, she laughed.

The other girls joined her.

And the bricks?

Well, I started to build with them…

Please click here to read the rest of my post, A Wall to a Foundation.

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Today I’m so excited to be guest posting at my dear friend’s space.

Christine is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, a powerful prayer warrior, and an inspiring dreamer. She writes at Living Joel 2:25, and I was so excited when she asked if I’d like to be part of her Rebuilding the Walls blog series! Please stop by and check out her space…I know you’ll leave inspired and encouraged. :)

Thanks for reading today, sweet friends!

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A Moment of Love: I Need Your Vote!

Hi, friends! :)

So a pretty cool opportunity came up about a week ago. One that I am already so in love with, I hope it’s something I’ll be able to participate in often in the future.

CausePub is an organization that is putting together a crowd-published book called Couch Rebels…meaning lots of people contributing stories for one publication.

If you have ever traveled abroad or placed yourself in an environment that is uncomfortable from what you are used to, you’re a Couch Rebel. It is within those times of choosing to be uncomfortable that we learn, grow, and experience the incredible things life has to offer… and then tell those stories for the rest of our lives. (causepub.com)

The sale of this book will benefit Blood:Water Mission in Africa, which I think is beyond awesome.

320 million Africans are without access to clean water. For every copy of Couch Rebels sold, the organization, Blood:Water Mission, will be able to provide three people with clean water for one year. The goal of this Cause is to sell 15,000 copies, which means that 45,000 lives can be directly impacted through your participation in this CausePub project! (causepub.com)

And I’m thrilled to have the chance to participate!

I’ve submitted the following story, but in order to be part of this publication, I need your help! Would you consider stopping by here to read and vote for it? Thanks so much! :)

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There are those moments in life that leave an imprint forever; this is one of them.

My husband and I spent five years living and working in Indonesia. Life there…well, it differed drastically from what we’d always known, and many of those differences were good.

They were differences we embraced.

But there was one…one that was so in-my-face and obvious; wherever we went, there were so many people in need.

In every facet of life, it seemed, there were people hurting…from those with housing needs to being hungry; and others unable to send their children to school or lacking the funds for desperately needed medical care.

And then there were people in the kind of need I’d never seen before…

To read more of this story and vote for it, please click here.

couchrebels

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Behind the Scenes: Confessions of a Former Park Street Girl

Today’s photo comes courtesy of a girl who doesn’t necessarily love going back to her hometown.

The why of that is far too long and complicated to get into…it’s just difficult.

I go so Mae can see her grandparents…

…so I can see my family and a handful of friends who live there.

But it’s hard to be in a place that hurts…so much heartbreak and un-belonging. (I’m in the business of making up words these days. ;))

One of the ways I survive (and I say that carefully…it’s obviously not real survival ;)) is by running. I run here, but running there is different because that physical run often turns into a head-on sprint into my past.

Last Tuesday morning, I went for a run through the neighborhood I grew up in.

So much of it hadn’t changed and yet it felt foreign.

I had run from my mom’s house, past my elementary school, through my old neighborhood, down by the park and public pool, around the lake, and on my way back, I decided I needed to run back by the place I’d lived for the first fourteen years of my life.

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I really wanted to take a full-on picture but didn’t want to look like a creeper. Instead, I settled for wrestling my iPhone out of my sweaty armband and snapping a photo of the street…but my house is the white one that you can kind of see through the trees. 😉 

Running by it was bittersweet…out of my years spent in C-town, those spent in that house…on that street…are the ones that I’m (mostly) ok with revisiting. There were special moments in that neighborhood…bike rides with friends on sidewalks that are still there, getting knocked out with a baseball in the side yard one spring, sledding down our hill every winter, 4th of July fireworks-watching from our backyard.

I do smile when I think of those things, even the baseball knocking out part. 😉

But what I’m kind of glad you can’t see in this picture is the stop sign at the end of the (very long) block.

It’s the corner of Park and Kirby, and it’s an intersection I wish never existed. Ever.

Because when I was ten, that’s where my closest friend in the neighborhood died.

Car accident.

I’m brave enough to drive through it now, but I couldn’t for years. Years.

I ran through it, and while I tried to put out of my mind what had happened there 24 1/2 years ago, the tears still sprang to my eyes.

Some memories are embedded too deeply to ever be erased, I guess.

I’ve tried giving thanks over and over for my hometown, for the pain it holds, for the memories that are there, for the pieces of my heart that will always be tied to this town of 9,000.

I find it hard to say thank you for pain, but He does work through it. He gives and He reminds that He is always good, even when families shatter to bits and girls are mean and friends leave this world way too soon.

Just a few confessions from the small-town piece of my heart I left behind 21 years ago.

Thanks for taking a walk down Park Street and memory lane with me today. :)

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Happy Tuesday to you all! Today I’m linking up at my friend, Crystal’s place for some sweet and silly and sometimes-tear-jerking storytelling…the kind where we show you pictures and tell you what’s really going on behind the camera lens.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Thanks for taking the time to read my words…I hope you’ll hop over and read more about what’s happening in the lives of some of my favorite bloggy-sisters!

crystalstine.me

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Embracing the Chaos: A Guest Post

Hi, friends!

Today I’m super excited to be writing over at my sweet friend, Kristin’s place, The Riches of His Love.

I met Kristin through the God-Sized Dream team, and she was kind enough to let me share a piece of my heart in her space. I hope you’ll take some time to hop over here to read about the crazy and the chaos (and also the lessons) that came from driving a motorbike in Indonesia. 😉

And maybe from crashing into a few bushes, too…

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You’re totally curious now, aren’t you?

😉

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