Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

March 3, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I came across this today as I was sorting through old documents.

According to the last time I updated it, it was written two days after we moved here, on July 30, 2010. I suspect I was feeling lonely, Maelie was napping, and I needed something to do since we had no internet.

I smiled as I read through it…felt a little guilty, but mostly happy.

The way God provides is amazing…and reading this made me so very thankful for the blessings He’s given.

Oh, and I added my commentary ’cause I knew you’d want my reflections. 😉

Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

1. Spend money on the bedroom. It is the place Tobin and I connect and share our most intimate moments. It is worth every single penny. Ok, ok so this one took quite awhile. But we did eventually follow through.

2. It is not wrong to have a most amazing kitchen, especially if it was already that way when we moved in…so don’t feel guilty about it. Success…I feel zero guilt and mostly love for my kitchen. Especially since there are no cockroaches hiding in the silverware drawer. :)

3. Take walks every day and meet my neighbors. (Plus I have that annoying baby weight I need to get rid of anyway…) We did take a lot of walks but that wasn’t really how we met our neighbors…they mostly came to say hi if we were outside. And the baby weight? Well, it took a lot more than walking! 😉

4. Don’t hide behind a closed door and wish for what I can’t have anymore. Thankfully this only happened for a few weeks before I was rescued by an incredible friend. I learned that, having an infant, it was very easy to hide but that I didn’t want to. And once I had a way to not hide, it was pretty easy to open the door.

5. Allow myself a Starbucks or Caribou once a week. Take Maelie and go, looking for someone to talk to. Don’t wait for someone else to initiate the conversation. I’ve definitely made a few friends in coffee shops…and I’ve probably allowed myself more than one coffee a week, too! I maintain that a coffee shop is a great place to find friends. :)

6. Make finding a good church a priority. Don’t sleep in on Sundays and “wait til next week”. (I laugh because there was no such thing as sleeping in ever with Maelie. I’m thankful that, after trying out a few places, God provided the best place for us. We love our church. :))

7. Post pictures of life for friends back in my other “homes”. I’m not a big picture-poster, but I do a decent job through the blog, I think. I’m still not great at keeping in touch, but if someone writes me, I will almost always respond.

8. Update my status on Facebook more often. Epic. Fail. However, I am not a person who wants the world to know what I ate for breakfast or who I’m currently annoyed with. I update it when there’s something to share. :)

9. Find a mom’s group, preferably one that meets at parks so the kids can play. Sunshine is good…especially when I haven’t seen it for several weeks.

LOVE. My mom’s group kinda found me…and I’m forever grateful. Bonus…it’s a mom’s Bible study, which I needed and wanted and was scared to hope for. AND they meet at parks in the summer. :) I love how God gives us desires we’re scared to admit we have.

10. Crying is ok…for a little while. But part of moving on is accepting that things have changed. I did cry for awhile…and the day I decided to like it here was the day I wasn’t sad anymore. I decided that change can bring some of the biggest blessings God has for us, if we’re willing to accept it.

11. True friends will always be there, whether I live down the block or across the world. Don’t be afraid to make some new ones—the old ones aren’t going anywhere. Enough said. :)

12. Give myself some grace in this time of transition. Stop expecting perfection from myself and others. I don’t know how I did on this one…but I know I’m thankful for the people who love me despite my imperfections.

:)

God is GOOD.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, culture shock, encouragement, friends, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

I Miss Her

February 15, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I have often talked about our house helper in Indonesia, Ibu Sari, and how much I miss her.

When I talk about missing her…I’m talking about her as my friend. I miss cooking with her, laughing with her, practicing my Indonesian with her…just being her friend. She’s wonderful. :)

And though, at times, I’ve missed the things she did for us, I think I did ok adjusting. For the most part I can keep up on laundry and cooking and (some) cleaning. (No comments from a certain person reading this… ;))

But today I missed her for a completely selfish reason.

See, she used to make this coffee cake for us.

I made it once, it took a small forever, and she watched. I planned that she would watch me make it so I would never have to do it again. I know, I know…I’m a teeny bit sneaky. 😉

And, without even asking, she made it all the time…probably at least once a month. And if we ever went on a trip, we knew it would be there waiting for us when we got back. (Once, it was the only thing we had to eat in the house.

True story.)

We haven’t had it since Indonesia…in fact, I think I ate a piece of it the morning I left. :) But there’s a reason for that.

(insert cheesy grin and slight head tilt)

And I rediscovered it tonight.

I have treats for Bible study tomorrow morning and have been planning to make this for a couple weeks.

Why did I NOT look at the recipe before today?

More importantly, how did I possibly FORGET why I hate making this so much

?

Because not only does the dough take eight hours to chill, the rest of it takes at least two. Three if you’re me.

Ugh.

And you are probably wondering why I have time to blog about it all…because I get to wait for an hour for it to rise before it bakes.

Hello going to bed at midnight.

I always miss my friend, Ibu Sari.

And tonight, I miss her just a little more. 😉

Sig

Filed Under: food, friends, Indonesia, just life, remembering

Remembering…

February 4, 2012 by · 2 Comments

I had fun

looking through some random pictures this afternoon while waiting for Maelie to take a nap.

Twenty minutes later: she is still fighting. Forty later…ahhh, quiet. 😉

Anyway…we just booked our hotels for our trip (finally!) and it got me thinking back to some of the crazy trips we’ve taken. So, of course, I had to look at pics!

Here are a few I thought you might enjoy. Yeah, we were younger…we definitely look it!

It’s fun to remember.

This is us at Clifton Beach in Cape Town, South Africa…and it just screams happy. It’ s one of my favorite picture

s of us ever. (I won’t tell you how many tries it took for us to get one that was Christmas card worthy.) :)

We unashamedly went to Bali six times while we lived in Indonesia. Yes, we did. (And you would have, too. Promise. ;)) This was from the trip we took at the end of our first year there. Good memories. :)

Here’s adorable us at the Grand Palace in Bangkok. It was cool…and I was sick. Like, horrendously, running-a-fever-on-Christmas-day-but-still-traipsing-throughout-90 degree-Bangkok sick. In fact, after this, I think we got Subway and went back to the hotel so I could sleep. Alas, it was a fun memory, and I had dreamed of seeing the Grand Palace for years. So cool that it happened.

I know it’s dorky, but I think this is one of the coolest pictures ever. When we were in Kuala Lumpur for our visa run several years ago, we had to see the Petronas Towers. And though we don’t look as cool at night, the towers? Most definitely do. That was fun.

I don’t have a photo of just the two of us, but there’s no way I could leave this trip out. In ’08 we took a long weekend beach trip with some of our closest friends. We crammed eight people into an eight passenger car (plus luggage!), drove six hours one way, sang every song imaginable…and we had the most amazing time. This pic tugs on my heart a little…I doubt we’ll all be together again this side of heaven. But what a memory. (And I had to laugh when I saw this, ’cause I realized that the trip was just a few weeks after I’d broken my foot…and begged our P.A. to let me go to the beach without crutches.

Thus, the taped up foot. Haha. :D)

Oh, the beach, how I love thee…even if I am not wearing makeup and got “slightly” sunburned. 😉

Such fun memories.

Here’s to many, many more…whether we’re travelin’ the globe or around the corner. :)

Thanks for letting me share.

😉

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, friends, Indonesia, remembering, Tobin, travel

Little Blessings (Pt. 20)

January 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) Cuddle time with my favorite little girl. And giggles…lots of giggles.

:) Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips.

Oh. My. Goodness. They need to sell them in smaller bags.

:) A ten-mile race in May to train for.

Choosing to see this one as a blessing.

😉

:) Reminders this week that God is faithful.

:) Prayer and what a blessing it can be to pray for people I love.

:) Watching my daughter’s vocabulary continue to explode… new words this week

? Cello (I know!), pinecone, puzzle. (All while pointing to pictures of them. It’s so fun to watch!)

:) Missing Indonesia a lot today and thinking of so many reasons why I loved it.

:) Good coffee, good chats, good friends.

:) Eight hours of sleep…straight.

:) American Idol auditions…fun to watch and bring back some amazing memories.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, Maelie, remembering

A Year

January 24, 2012 by · 6 Comments

Ok, so I literally typed the title of this post, and that’s how long it took for the tears to start streaming down my cheeks.

I have no idea why I’m crying.

No…actually, I think I have a little one.

A year.

A YEAR.

Golly, that’s a long time.

A year ago, I sat down and stared at a blank text box wondering how to start this new adventure. I decided to tell you the basics…why I do what I do.

I really had no idea at the time what barefootmel.com might turn into. Possibly, a place to share my heart on those days when God was speaking loud and clear. Or a place to share pictures of the new things my sweet, then-baby, girl was doing. Or a place to tell my funny culture-reentry stories. Or a place to cry. Or laugh. Or be crazy, adventurous, often-emotional me.

Mel.

Just being me on any given day, in any given mood.

You, my friends, have been such a part of this journey. You make me smile when you comment…and sometimes you make me cry, too. You make my heart happy when you talk about something I wrote.

Well, most of the time…there are always those posts that make us all wonder (myself included) what exactly Mel was thinking.

And then we just laugh, and that’s good, too.

I don’t often talk about how scary it was to move “home” to the States, though I tell plenty of the funny stories.

A year ago, I was still in scared-and-shocked mode. I was still figuring out this how-to-function-in-America thing.

And when I sat down to write that first day, I didn’t know that this would be where I threw all of that out there.

For you to read, offer advice, sometimes laugh (or roll your eyes!), and just be there.

Just the fact that you were here for me this year…means so much.

I think the tears came today, partly because I realized that I no longer have an obligation to my blog every day. I won’t be intentionally finding time every day to write, though I still plan on three times a week.

Or more.

It feels strange, almost sad…like a death. And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to tear myself away from the blog…because eventually there’s going to be a day when I don’t write.

But that’s a good thing…I think.

Words are such a gift…one for which I’m incredibly thankful. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t write…couldn’t share my heart. I can’t always do that when I’m speaking, but when I write, it just works. For me, it works.

But maybe the tears also came today because I have a lot to be thankful for. Including you. Thanks to each of you…for being a friend. For reading. For laughing. For loving me.

It’s been a life-ch

anging year.

And, most likely, I’ll be back tomorrow.

:) Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, remembering, where I am, writing

Blog Reflection, #1: What You See Is What You Get

January 16, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

What you see is what you get.

It’s cliche, I know.

But it’s truly how I try to live my life.

One of my least favorite things in the world is superficiality. (Read my bio…I think I actually wrote that, but I’m too lazy to actually go look right now. ;))

I also understand to a certain degree all that comes with trying

to live that way.

It means that the whole world…or at least the wonderful people who read this blog.

..know a lot of details

of my life. Some days I’m pretty fantastic with restraint and don’t share too much; others, I throw it all out there.

It’s me. :)

And while I make no apologies,

I also know I have room to grow.

I have tried to keep

true to one of my only blogging rules…never push the delete button on a post. 99.5 or so percent of the time, I have been able to keep to that rule.

I deleted one, and I don’t regret

it.

People who know me also know that I’m wildly emotional and full of crazy love. My emotions do go up and down, and I’ m well aware of that.

It definitely shows in my blog posts some days…and I know it.

But I want to be real.

That’s me, too.

This last year has been a surprising journey.

I’ve learned things about myself I didn’t know. I’ve gotten feedback from people that made me believe that I CAN do this writing thing.

I’ve learned the importance of being myself and standing up for what I believe in. Along with that comes the realization that I am an adult and, while people can and will disagree with me, I have a right to my beliefs, just as each of you also do.

But even more so, there’s the aspect of being Christlike in all I do. I still have a long way to go. I know what I’m like some days…even when it doesn’t show through on the blog. I know the impatience and grumpy moments that emerge sometimes, causing me to say things I shouldn’t and do things I regret. But at the end of the day I’m a follower of Christ and I should reflect him in all I do…regardless of my emotions and moods.

I’m me…just Mel.

What you see is what you get.

Thank you for reading in spite of that.

You bless me. :)

Sig

Filed Under: remembering, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

When We Break

January 4, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I was listening to a song on KLove a couple days ago…

This one. I really love

it.

So when I heard it for the hundredth time the other day, I was jammin’ and probably playing the drums on my steering wheel…and I almost missed this line…for some reason its meaning never registered before.

Why don’t you break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet.

Yikes.

That was a good yikes, but still a yikes.

It got me thinking, though…how there are so many broken people right now.

People I know, people I don’t know…and me.

Yeah, I’m broken.

Truthfully, I’ve been breaking for awhile now, and it kind of just happened through different situations and circumstances…and life.

I suppose everyone breaks once in awhile.

But I don’t look at that brokenness as a negative thing…I see the potential for God doing some awesome things through it.

Then I started thinking about so many amazing people whom God has used because they were broken…not because they were perfect and flawless.

I’m gonna tell you a story. One that, amazingly, I haven’t shared here on the blog yet.

About eight years ago, there was this girl.

She’d been married about a year and was being pressured by people we don’t n ame here to find

a teaching job. She made a few phone calls, but her current certificate didn’t allow her to teach in the public schools, and so her job search was limited…and looking hopeless.

Until she stumbled on an open teaching position for 4th and 5th grades at a small Baptist school about 3o minutes from her house.

She interviewed and was hired not only to teach those two grades but also to be the volleyball coach.

She was hopeful and optimistic, though she knew her beliefs and standards didn’t quite line up with the school and church, which she’d be required to attend. (They were pretty conservative.) Still she thought there was potential for reaching lives and was excited to begin.

It was a tough year. More hours spent working than you can possibly imagine, including many Friday nights. An administration that was less than supportive and often made her feel inadequate. A big class with some pretty amazing students…but some pretty strong and stubborn personalities, too. Being so wrapped up in school that there was little time left for anything else.

It all came to a big collision sometime in the middle of April.

This girl…Mel…she broke.

She couldn’t do it anymore.

The months she’d spent pouring into these kids lives felt like a waste.

She didn’t feel welcome at the school or the church. She’d been told by people in power that she was different and that she wasn’t a good fit for the school or the church. She wasn’t eating or sleeping well.

And it was time to go.

And so…go, she did. Without the chance to say goodbye at all.

It was devastating and made her want to turn her back on all she had always said she believed.

I left that school in April, sure that no

school would ever touch me again.

After all, who hires a teacher who quit her previous job a month before the end of the school year?

I was also fairly sure we might never look for another church…because for those first few, raw weeks following the end of this experience, I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with Christians.

But what I love about this story was that…to God be the GLORY…it didn’t end on that April night when I packed up my classroom into the wee hours of the morning and left.

Tobin and I took some time to process and search…and heal.

The parent of one of my students in that class called a week or two after everything blew up. She didn’t push, she didn’t make me feel guilty.

She just wanted two things. To listen. And to love.

Theresa became one of my dearest friends. (And her daughter, one of my former students and now my friend, is Maelie’s middle namesake. :))

We went to her church, ABC…and felt like we were home.

We were loved and cared for during our year there…giving us a chance to get our feet underneath ourselves again to prepare for the next adventure.

Indonesia.

I won’t go into being used by God there…because really, He knows it. We don’t know so much.

We know that we were used, but we also know how much people were used in our lives during that time.

And then it was time for the next adventure…here. :)

On that April night when I thought my teaching career was over…and possibly my faith, too…God took this broken mess and used it.

That’s why the line in that song is so precious to me…and why He is so precious to me.

Because when we break, that’s when He does some mighty things.

Break my heart ’til it moves my hands and feet…

Sig

Filed Under: remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Love From Minnesota

December 26, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Tobin and I came “home” to our first home today.

..well, our first one together.

We spent our first three years of marriage in a suburb of Minneapolis, and it was a great place to start out. After Indonesia, we kinda thought we’d come home to here…but God had other plans.

It wasn’t easy to leave this place…and we thought we’d return to visit more often than we have. We spent Thanksgiving 2010 here…and that was the last time we’ve been to Minnesota until

today.

That seems like a long time to go between visits.

But what’s funny is that though home is now C’ville…which we LOVE, Minnesota still feels so familiar.

I guess it’s good that a place that isn’t home anymore still feels like a place we can come home to.

We’ll be busy the next couple days

with family…including LOTS of Mae’ s cou

sins, so forgive me now if my posts are short or just pictures. :)

Sending a little love from Minnesota…it’s good to be b ack for

a few days.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: just life, remembering

Sentimental

December 11, 2011 by · 3 Comments

My husband would tell you that I have a hard time getting rid of certain things.

When it comes to things like clothes or household items, I have no problem donating them or whatever when it’s time to de-clutter.

It’s the little things…the things with sentimental value that I just can’t part with.

And so, I tell you a little story. ‘Cause you all know I like stories. :)

About three years ago, when we were living in Indonesia, I had a pretty tough week. It was

busy, I was super-stressed, and I just needed a day of pampering…so a friend and I headed to one of the local malls for reflexology massages.

$5 for an hour of bliss…really. I can think of NO better way to spend Rp 50,000…the equivalent of about US $5.

After our glorious hour, we went to Starbucks (also at the mall) and I think squeezed in a little outlet shopping, too, before heading home.

I remember that morning so well because I felt human again after all the crazy that had encompassed my life the previous week.

I was about to plop down on the couch for a movie and/or nap when I decided I needed a piece of chocolate… and I broke into the heavily guarded, semi-secret, American c

andy stash we had in the kitchen.

I pulled out a Dove Promise.

And here’s the thing about those…you know how they always have a quote on the inside of the wrapper

? Whenever I eat one of those chocolates, I am careful to never tear the wrapper, just in case the quote is a keeper.

And this one was.

It said?

Get your feet massaged.

Really?!?!

What are the odds

?

I know it’s nothing earth-shattering…but it m ade me smile, it w

as ironic, and it reminded me of a happy time.

And so I put it in my wallet on that day a few years ago.

I’ve switched wallets a few times…and that quote has survived all the switches.

It’s a tiny piece of foil…but to me, it represents so much.

Laughter with a friend. Memories I’ll always cherish. A day that was a good one. A place that will always be in my heart.

So if you ever catch me staring at something in my wallet and smiling, now you know.

Those sentimental things are worth keeping.

Sig

Filed Under: friends, Indonesia, remembering

All Over the Place

December 4, 2011 by · 3 Comments

Warning: I’m about as scattered as Humpty Dumpty’s poor, shattered, eggshell-of-a-body tonight. So read…or don’t.

Either way, I’ll still love ya.

:)

To preface this, I really don’t watch much TV. Other than the Morning Show occasionally, Blues’ Clues with Mae while she has a morning snack, and sometimes Millionaire in the afternoon so I can feel smart.

So when the ritual Sunday football mania was over tonight…

Insert…deep breath…and a WHEW!

Don’t do that to us, Pack.

Anyway, so when it was over I decided to keep the TV on and watch The Amazing Race.

Which I love, but really, my life has been an amazing race of sorts, and I don’t think the producers would ever let me and Tobin race it for real.

(Because we know too well how to navigate a country without speaking a lick of the language, maybe?! ;)) So I don’t really watch it.

Except I’d heard several weeks ago that they’d been to Indonesia…and to Yogyakarta, one of our favorite Indo cities. This trip to Indonesia was a first for the show, and I’ll admit I’ve been curious. So I pulled the episode up on cbs.com and watched away.

The teams stood in places we did…the Jakarta airport, Gambir train station and the Yogya station, Malioboro Mall.

Things made me smile…like seeing the Bata shoe store and Blue Bird taxis and a motorbike identical to what I drove and black and white painted curbs.

There were words I recognized and beautiful Indonesian faces that looked so familiar…and it was just so smile-worthy. (Though I’ll totally admit that I cracked up hearing the teams botch the pronunciation of Yogyakarta, too.

:)) I think it’s awesome that CBS finally thought Indo was cool enough to send people there.

But in watching all of this…

I didn’t expect the familiar ache.

I’m learning that it will always return whenever those particular strings on my heart are pulled.

I didn’t expect to cry.

I’m learning that it’s ok to cry over something.

I didn’t expect to want to dive for my phone and call Delta to try to use our miles again.

😉

Don’t worry…I didn’t yet. We’ll see. Yeah.

I have no idea why it’s so hard to let go of this place that was our better or worse for five years.

I HATED the snakes…they gave me nightmares. I HATED the horrendous traffic.

I HATED the lack of so many things I deemed “necessary” for happy survival.

And yet, I must have LOVED

…the people, the pretty green everywhere, the way I was loved and accepted, the people, the shopping ;), the motorbike love, the people…

Indonesia wormed its way into the heart of a girl who never thought she could love something so different.

So tonight my heart aches a little and I hurt a little more.

I’ll probably cry a little more tonight.

And tomorrow, I’ll wake up and smile because I remember the LOVE.

Thank God for Indonesia.

And if you want to see a bit of what pulls on my heart, you can find the video here. It’s long but worth the watch…the producers did an amazing job of representing Indonesia. Who wouldn’t want to visi

t? :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, Indonesia, remembering
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