Behind the Scenes: Counting Gifts

It’s November, and I looooooove November.

:)

It’s like that perfect, crunchy-leaf, apple-spicy-smelling, permission-to-drink-coffee-like-crazy, time of year.

Plus, I like pie almost as much as cake, and Thanksgiving=pie, but we’ll talk about that another week. 😉

Mostly I just like all that the season holds…time to be extra-intentional about giving thanks, the anticipation of celebrating the birth of our Savior, watching the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of my sweet girl, snowman-building, Christmas music and church services, sweaters and scarves, cookies…

So much to love and look forward to. :)

Honestly, this has been a challenging season. Not a bad one. It just looks…different. Much different than I’d pictured a year ago. I thought our family would look different by now. I thought we’d feel more settled into life and ready to embrace the next chapter and possibly the next family member, too.

But that’s not where we are right now. 

And that’s ok, most of the time. We’re (still) learning how to settle. :) (Maybe I’ll write more on that later.) We’re enjoying the blessings of now, and there are so many.

But I do have those moments, and once in awhile, I catch myself being less than thankful…especially on nights when I know there’s no little one growing in me and that there probably won’t be anytime soon.

And, yet, it doesn’t take much, really. Much to be thankful by just looking around me.

And by looking at this girl.

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She was my candy-lovin’ Belle on Halloween, but every day, she’s my sweetie. (And, good golly, she looks about TEN here. Oy…) She is joy and sunshine and a gift all wrapped up in something more beautiful than I ever could have even dreamed. And I know I share that often here, but sometimes…

Well, sometimes it’s just good to give thanks for those gifts who dance with me every day…those that bless me so much more than I can ever really express in words.

Mae’s been sick this week…a little fever, a lot of runny nose and coughing, and yesterday all she wanted was snuggles. And as I cuddled up to her for some story-reading, she leaned her head in close to my heart and whispered, I love you, Mommy. We are best girls.

Oh, bless. I melted all over the couch, I’m sure.

I look at her and I think back over the almost-three-and-a-half years we’ve had with this girl, and that’s just about all I need to whisper thanks and praise about 10,000 times. Or more.

Friends, He is so Good.

And I’m so thankful…for so, so many things.

I’m counting my gifts today. And every day…join me? :)

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

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I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her. 

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Ordinary

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Ordinary

What do you want to do today, girlie?

It’s a question I ask her often…and I usually get the same response.

I want to play at home!

This sweet little girl…as much as she loves going to school and play dates and park fun and adventures…she revels in the ordinary magic of a day.

Her favorites?

Coloring together on the back porch.

Playing in the sandbox.

Swinging or sliding or kicking the hot pink and orange ball around the side yard.

Hide and seek.

Walking the neighborhood and visiting friends we love.

Stories, songs, and princess-playing.

Coffee dates and chats with friends. (True.) 😉

Sometimes I wonder if I’m giving her a life that’s too ordinary…and then I smile.

This little girl has learned the value of finding the magic and wonder in the little moments that I so often take for granted.

Dear, sweet girl…thank you for finding a reason to celebrate each moment. You know what? I celebrate YOU. Even in the most ordinary of moments.

Because you?

You are extraordinary…and my life is so much more just that because you are in my days.

MaelieSilly

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

Hey, friends. :)

Just up front, I don’t know why I feel the need to explain this, but I do. It’s not me defending myself…I promise. Just a this-is-why explanation. With a cute picture at the end. 😉

So, it’s October…and I have to admit that I’ve been waiting for this month for a loooooong time. Not only do I love fall and pretty much all things pumpkin spice (who doesn’t?!), but it’s also the month when I finally get to wrap my arms around the necks of so many amazing women who have walked this dreaming and writing journey with me in the last year.

I almost want to actually get up and do a cartwheel in the living room, but it’s early, and I’m tired, so I’ll refrain from that…but I will let out a virtual

Squeeeeeeeee!

Thanks for letting me do that. 😉

This is also the month when a lot of my blogging community is participating in the Nester’s 31 Day’s series.

I love the idea…blogging for 31 days (the entire month) about a specific topic. (I actually did my own version of it a couple years ago.) And I’ve gotta be honest here…I’m dying to participate.

But I know me…and I know my current season. I’m very aware of a certain book proposal and chapter edits that are hanging over my head. (Good stuff but time consuming, to say the least.) I’ve gotta keep my head on straight (haha…does that ever happen?! ;)) and focus on the dream and taking the opportunities that are there…I might not have them again.

And?

I’ve also got this great little girl…and the days are slipping by.

Too quickly.

To the point where I want to run upstairs and interrupt her beautiful sleep at 6 a.m. just so I can hold her in my arms before she gets any bigger.

This season, God is also calling me to something great beyond writing: He’s calling me to embrace being a mommy completely.

I don’t say no well.

But I said no to blogging 31 days…not because I think it’s a bad idea. (In fact, I think it’s an awesome one!) But because, this season, He’s got greater things for me.

Things like…

...stepping away from the computer and going to the park.

...leaving my phone in the house and going outside to swing with my girl.

…putting down my Kindle and picking up a story to read with her.

…Pounding out a book proposal and editing like crazy when she’s sleeping. (Had to throw that in…it’s my reality. :))

All of those things.

Plus…taking the time to skip down sidewalks while holding a handful of flowers.

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Ok, ok, maybe I’ll leave that to her…but I might grab her hand and join her one of these days! 😉

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time today and stop by if you can…the hearts of these beautiful women who share their stories will encourage you as you read what’s happening behind the camera lens. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

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This picture has popped up on my blog a few times lately.

Yeah, I think she’s pretty adorable. :)

A couple months ago, we took advantage of a Groupon deal and hired a photographer to come out to our C’ville stomping grounds and take some family pictures.

Let me tell you, friends…with a spunky toddler like we have, this was a tall order to fill.

But he rocked it, despite the fact that she was constantly on the move.

And? He managed to capture this gem.

To say that I. Completely. Love. It. is just scratching the surface.

Because what this is…it’s me and my girl and my passion and my heart all miraculously captured in one, beautiful photo.

For years, I have dreamed of writing. Of blogging, of publishing, of making a name for myself. (I didn’t say all of these were noble aspirations.) 😉

And during those years, another dream of mine has been dancing around my feet, sometimes holding my hand, sometimes spinning on her own.

This girl.

Maelie girl.

She’s fabulous.

And she’s my calling, my dream, my heart.

She is who I want to be my priority every second of the day.

Even over writing and blogging and publishing and being all that those things bring.

And so this picture…this snapshot of our moments…it represents so much.

Because I love my daughter to the moon and back. (Plus infinity…just ask her. ;))

I still love to write…

I still want to publish a book…

I still dream of being a contributor on a blogand that one is happening soon, so stay tuned!

But my point?

Is that I want moments like the one in this photo all the time.

I want her all the time.

And so…I’m redefining.

Making mommyhood, marriage, a follower of my Father, a friend…priorities.

Oh, I’ll still write…’cause a writer still needs air sometimes. Plus, I just love to write…I can’t give it up.

But I’ll do that when she’s in bed. Or having her quiet time. Or watching her hour of tv (hour, not hourS).

😉

And I’m not perfect. I’ll fumble, I’ll fail, I’ll write a blog post while she watches yet another episode of Sofia the First or Doc McStuffins.

But where my heart is now?

It’s in that place where I don’t want to miss a single moment.

Ever.

And, friends?

I’ve been given a great opportunity, one I am incredibly thankful for, one I didn’t plan on…but one that God was weaving into His plan all along.

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I am completely blown away by the opportunity to be an (in)courager.

Squeeeeeeeee! 😉 (Plus, imagine a little happy dancing, too.)

I am so excited to encourage and invest in the lives of other stay-at-home mommas like me…ones who, I have a feeling, struggle with many of the same things I do.

(In)courage has a new session of (in)courager groups kicking off this week, and registration is open! If you’re looking for a small group, a place to connect with women in the same season of life, a place to be encouraged…this is exactly for you.

You can go here to read the heart behind (in)courager groups AND to find one that is the perfect fit for you. Of course, I’d love it if you joined my group, but look for the one that best meets you in your current season. (And as of tonight, my group is full…but there are TONS of groups…go find one! ;))

You will love it. I promise. :)

It makes me smile to look back at the last few weeks…to see how He is weaving together pieces of my heart and writing another part of my story. Pulling back on a few things, but still filling my life with amazing blessings.

And reminding me of the ones I already have.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to pop over and read the sometimes-hilarious, sometimes-tear-jerking, just-fun stories that go on behind the actual photos. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Mercy

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Mercy

Some nights I feel wordless…very wordless.

And tonight is one of them.

His Mercy Overwhelms Me. I know that much. I know how it has changed my life, how it has changed my heart.

I often talk about how thankful I am for the fact that His mercies are new every morning.

That’s because I. Need. Them. and I can’t pretend that I don’t.

I mess up…I have bad days, I say mean things, I do things that don’t honor Him…and I need His Mercy and Forgiveness.

I need those new days.

Recently I had A. Day. with my girl. It was just one of those frustrating ones…the kind when little, three year-old wills take over and don’t quite want to do what their mamas ask them to. Over and over, all day long.

And by the end, well, let’s just say I welcomed bedtime with a little happy dance. 😉

There weren’t a bunch of gushing, I-love-you’s as she cuddled down into her pillow and I closed her door for the night.

But the next morning when I heard her wake up?

I went into her room, and her head popped out from under her blanket, the biggest smile ever on her face.

We snuggled and said our good mornings…and it was a reminder to me, one that was so needed.

New mercies, new compassion, a new day.

Blessed.

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Five Minute Friday

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Five-Minute Friday: Worship

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Worship

Music is in my soul…it’s always been there.

It whispers and sometimes dances loudly throughout my days…

Whether we’re going to the potty or reading stories or playing on swings, it seems there is always a song going on at our house.

And while I know that music isn’t the only way to worship, it’s a big part of how I do.

And because my days are spent with a sweet toddler girl, she is starting to reflect that. It usually comes in the form of Jesus Loves Me or You are My Sunshine or Bushel and a Peck or another of our bedtime songs.

I hear the joy in her voice, and even more in her heart, as she learns what it means to sing her heart out and worship, even if she doesn’t completely understand just yet.

It’s something that fills my heart and reminds me that the way I live speaks to her heart…And I need to shine Him always.

Perhaps one of my sweetest reminders happened just last night.

With hubby out of town, I had to take Mae to praise team practice with me.

During our second song, I heard a little voice. One that grew stronger and joined with our voices.

Hers.

She was singing, praising, worshiping…and it was beautiful.

She’s already starting to shine Him.

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Five Minute Friday

Sig

Behind the Scenes: About a Friend

Sometimes I worry about the words I write…not so much what other people think of them, although that happens sometimes.

I mostly worry about them when I’m writing about someone…because I want my words to give a voice and a true reflection of what that person means to me.

Or, to us.

So today I’m pulling out the tissues…just because I know I’m going to need them…and telling you a story.

One that’s worth telling.

It’s about a friend.

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There are a lot of titles that this picture could have.

Mae’s First Day of School.

Maelie and Her Buddy From Across the Street Showing Off Their New Backpacks.

Two Days Before Brenton Left For College.

All of the above…

When we moved here three years ago, God knew what He was doing.

We didn’t.

We didn’t know north from south (I still don’t), left from right (especially when driving), or where to even begin looking for a house in this brand new state. (And, honestly, one I’d never imagined living in.)

Almost by accident, we stumbled on a Craigslist ad for a two-story, blue house in C’ville.

I actually told my husband I wasn’t interested in seeing it.

Thankfully, he insisted we look anyway.

Long story short, we moved in six days later…into a house in a neighborhood and town where we knew not a soul…

But we hoped it would become home, and it did.

And there are so many aspects that have helped make this place home, but today, this is about some special friends.

You see, there’s a family across the street…and it didn’t take long for us to connect with them. (Potentially because we always needed help moving the furniture we were buying? 😉 Kidding, kidding…)

No, we connected with Jonny, Kris, and their son, Brenton, within the first few weeks…and soon they weren’t just our neighbors; they had become our friends.

At the time, Brenton was fifteen and just a cool, high school sophomore. (No sarcasm here…we think he was pretty cool. :)) We’d see him here or there, and he would stop to talk to us sometimes.

He didn’t really connect with Maelie at the beginning, but that’s not a surprise. I don’t know many fifteen year old boys who make it a point to sit down on the floor and try to entertain a baby girl.

But around the time Mae turned one, Brenton started talking to her and playing with her more. One night his family came over for dinner, and she sat on his lap for a long time.

It wasn’t long before she was saying his name.

And a few months later, we had her bedroom windows open, which faced their house. She saw him come home from work and yelled as he was getting out of his car.

Brenton!

To her surprise?

Maelie!

Brenton!

Maelie!

It continued back and forth as he stood on their front porch and she pressed her nose against the screen in her window.

And that’s what continued for the next two years…little moments like that.

He’d come over and see her when she was playing outside.

Once they “shoveled” the sidewalk together.

She pushed him on the swing (really) the day he graduated from high school.

Little moments, nothing huge…but things that made an impact.

It’s no secret that Brenton became someone that Maelie really loves…and someone we love, too.

He was a high school student, busy with homework and friends and music, work and college searches. He didn’t have to take the time for a little girl…and honestly, no one would have blamed him if he didn’t.

But he did.

And he made a difference in her life…and ours, too.

This picture was taken last week, on Mae’s first day of PK3 and two days before Brenton left for college.

The two mamas behind their iPhones were both a little weepy for similar, but at the same time different, reasons…because seasons change.

Just like it was time for Mae to begin school (even if it’s just a few hours a week), it was time for Brenton to go off to college.

We said goodbye to him the next day, and the day after that, he left.

Mae is little and she doesn’t understand goodbyes yet…but I know she will miss him.

In fact, just a week ago, she looked at me. Mommy? Brenton’s my hero. And I think there’s some truth to that statement that she might not understand just yet.

Today I tear up when I look at this picture, but I know it’s one we’ll keep forever.

Thank you, Brenton, for taking the time to be part of Maelie’s life…it means more to us than you will ever know.

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It’s Tuesday and time for one of my favorite link ups over at my friend, Crystal’s space.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

If you’ve got some time today, hop over for the sweet and funny, the silly and sappy, and sometimes the tear-jerky stories that happen behind the camera lens. They’re told by some of my favorite writers and friends…and their words will make your day. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

On Accountability, Compassion, and Being a Playground-Mama: A Guest Post

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As the mama of a sweet, but spunky, three year-old, I know what it’s like to have what I like to call playground-mama moments.

Oh, and they come in all different shapes and sizes…and levels of embarrassment, too.

For instance, there might be the kind when I unleash my words at whoever-or-whatever may-or-may-not-be harming my child.

My first memorable one was around the time Mae was 18 months old.

A later walker, she was finally steady on her feet and running everywhere. She couldn’t get enough exploring, climbing, sliding, and jumping.

One day near Christmas that year, I took her to the playplace at the mall near our house. She was running around, squealing in all of her cuteness (and there’s a lot of it!), loving every second, when…Bam.

Like, physically, bam.

Some too-big-for-the-playplace boy came barreling around a corner, running right over her.

I ran to her, made sure she wasn’t hurt, and then I unleashed…

My Playground-Mama Fury…

Today I’m excited to be guest posting at my friend, Gindi’s space. Gindi is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, and she has been such an amazing encouragement to me in the last year. I’m honored to share my words on her blog today. You can go here to read the rest of my guest post!

Happy Monday, friends! :)

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Story

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Story

Messy.

Ugly.

Unloved.

Unwanted.

For years, this is how I thought my story would end up.

For years, I lived with the belief that I was these things.

Oh, how wrong I was.

You see, He was using those moments, those tears to write my story.

He took the ugly pieces, the messy ones, the ones that made me feel like I had no place at all…and He wove them together into something I could have never pieced together on my own.

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He gave me a man (the one I celebrate 11 years with on Saturday!) to love me and take care of me.

He gave us a sweet, precious, gift of a daughter.

He gave us community and family and friends…a place for our story to be written.

A place to belong.

He’s led us step by step…sometimes with just enough light for the next step, but always leading.

My Father?

He’s the best author.

Because He can take any story…any storyand turn it into a beautiful one.

And no matter how long this chapter is, or where the next one lies, I know something.

I know that it will be good because He is Good.

Five Minute Friday

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