Late Night Coffee

February 7, 2012 by · 2 Comments

It’s been far too long since I’ve sat down with a cup of actual coffee while I write.

Tonight, at a quarter to ten, I’m gonna pour myself some and spill my heart…for at least as long as it takes me to drink it. 😉

I’ll let you know tomorrow how late it kept me up…though I’m tired enough that I’m not sure it will make too much of a difference.

Really random…but you know what I looooove? When coffee is at that just-perfect temperature and it kinda burns your throat as it goes down. Yeah, that’s awesome. 😀 (And I think I just solidified in all of your minds that I am a total dork. But, really, that’s ok. If you haven’t at least thought that by now, then you probably don’t know me well enough yet. But you’ll think it soon enough.) 😉

So I know I talk about Mae a lot on this blog…she is the majority of my life, after all. 😉 But it’s been amazing to watch her the last few weeks. Words are turning to sentences, she understands and follows directions, she’s able to tell me when she needs or wants something. It’s all kinds of crazy…and all kinds of happy. I just love her and the little person she is.

Sunday was an especially sweet day of Maelie memories. When I was singing on praise team that morning, I looked out and saw her pointing at me, saying, Mommy! Mommy! Oh, how part of me wanted to run to her and grab her and bring her back up on stage with me! After church, when I finally got to see her, I was walking around with her, and she was passing out hugs to everyone. It was the cutest thing. Then, that night, we went to watch the Super Bowl with some friends, and she was just so full of love and cutie patooty-ness. Really, that’s her every day, but I can brag on her, right?! I just love my girl!

So, barring an actual training program, I started training for my ten mile in May. That translates to hopping on the treadmill and running until I can’t anymore, or in the case of today, running until I’m out of time and have to do something else. I managed to pull a little over four miles, and I was happy with that. Now I need to work on my pace, which can’t be done with our treadmill.

I have finally separated a good treadmill from a not-so-good one…besides price. The good ones actually go faster than 10:00 pace. So I will have to wait til it warms up a little and I can run outside. But it does feel good to keep my running up through the winter. Not sure I’ve ever done that before.

And possibly the best news is that my runner’s knee doesn’t seem to be flaring up as much. I’m trying to keep my distance running to every other day and mix cardio and strength on the other days. That and ibuprofin seem to be helping a lot. Praise God.

By the way, who’s running with me? I’ve got a couple friends…I need a few more. And those of you who don’t run with me

? Should come be my cheerleaders ’cause I’m gonna need ’em!

Ok, I’ve devoted far too much of this to working out…on to new topics.

I’ve been in crazy, I-miss-Indo mode. The other day a friend who is still there told a story on facebook of driving her motorbike, hitting a bump, and her bags of groceries flew off the bike and landed in the river. And a nice, old, Indonesian grandpa-fisherman helped her get them out.

You all laugh…I smile.

And that story actually makes me MISS it.

Almost like I wish it had happened to me!

And all this missing Indo reminds me of home and all that it is. Just a year ago, we weren’t sure what home would look like for us. God was so good…and we got to stay.

We love it here. We are blessed times a million. But when I think of home, I remember that my heart will always have two earthly homes.

There is no way that Indonesia will ever leave my heart. I can rejoice all I want that my house is cockroach-free (HALLELUJAH!!!!) and that I don’t have little lizards popping out of my toaster.

That traffic is, for the most part, orderly, and I can usually get to my destination without stopping to wait for longer than a minute or two. That my grocery store has every possible food I could ever want…and the idea of getting by without brown sugar or Lucky Charms? Is no more.

And yet, the lessons I took away from Indonesia are still there. They have changed me…and are now part of who I am.

And so I guess the word home is relative…no matter if I own my house or not.

The good news? We own our house, and we’re really happy here. :)

Just a random tangent. :)

I’m thankful.

It hasn’t been an easy few weeks. Like I said, I’m learning to appreciate winter and the hidden growth that it brings. But at the same time, my heart is heavy and my eyes are puffy and red.

I’m learning that thing I mentioned yesterday. Trust.

I know He is GOOD. And I know that I can trust Him.

And when my heart aches, I can give it to Him, knowing He will hold it and heal it.

That amazes me sometimes.

No, it amazes me all the time.

Well, my coffee cup is empty, and I really should crash for the night.

Thanks for stopping by. You bless me. :)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, church, coffee, friends, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, where I am

Little Blessings (Pt. 21)

February 5, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) My daughter’s newest phrase…belly “butt”. Golly, we laugh hard. Every. Single. Time.

:) Music. Praising God with people I love.

:) Random lunch dates that leave me encouraged.

:) Awkwardly wonderful conversations that I’m sure will make me smile for days.

:) Seasons. I am learning to appreciate winter…in more than one way.

:) Super Bowl fun…the friends were the best part.

And the food. Then the football. Not so much the halftime show…

:) A reason to look forward to Mondays. Got a few of them, actually.

:) My Father, Who is enough for every thirst and every need.

:) His precious promises.

:) Not being able to give up the blog-every-day thing yet…because I needed to count my blessings first.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, football, friends, just life, Maelie, where I am

I Am…

February 3, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

…a procrastinator. I put off everything until the last possible second.

For a writer, this is particularly not-so-good, especially if there is no set deadline. Hence, my Patch article is still. not. done. Guess who’s staying up late tonight?! Sometimes I frustrate myself.

…a wannabe rockstar. Well, maybe not, but dude, this video is awesome. Watch it now. Don’t you just want to keep your guitar in your car so you can sing how many orders of fries you want next time you go through the drive-thru

? I do. Totally.

…having a sugary week. I’ve been really good…and I’ve only caved once or twice. But I. Want. Sugar. I have no idea why it’s hitting this week. On Sunday (my day off) I am totally baking my favorite cake. And eating it all. Mmmmmm.

…enchanted by my daughter. In the last few days, she’s started something new. Repeating everything. And remembering what she says, which surprises me even more. Today in Target I told her we were going to find honey, and you’ll never guess what word she repeated throughout the store. She was looking at total strangers and saying, “Honey! Honey!” It was so adorable. :)

…glad it’s Friday. Though my days all kind of run together, at least weekends bring fun things like friends and church and praise team. Tomorrow night I am excited to go to the kick-off for my friend, Judah’s, new mission organization he’s starting. Two hours of praise and worship and hearing some of his ideas…I’m really excited. :) And, of course, the Super Bowl…yay for friends and food! And football, I suppose. 😉

…completely loving the show, Shark Tank. We rarely watch TV at night, but this show is good stuff. I love seeing the creativity and passion of people who want to see their products be the next big thing. If you haven’t seen it, you should. 😉 Friday nights at 7:00 on abc. My only other TV love is American Idol…which we may or may not watch this season.

…going to the grocery store. If I have to go, later on Friday night is the time to do it. So I won’t gripe and complain; I’ll just tell you that my list is short, and I may let myself have a little chocolate when I get home. :)

…wishing you all a fantastic weekend!

Sig

Filed Under: just life, Maelie, random

Don’t Ya Love It…

January 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

…when your awesome, thought provoking, blog post for the night completely messes up the formatting of the entire blog and you have to delete it

?

NO clue what I did wrong, but yeah. Good times.

Bummer, ’cause I was excited to tell you all

about everything I’m reading/planning to read… all that stuff.

(Yeah, that’s what I wrote about…but it had some fun Mel humor in there, too.) 😉

Honestly, it’s been a cruddy week. I wish it was full of smiles and laughter, but I feel like the gray that chased the sun away this afternoon kinda matches the funk I’ve been in for a few days.

Looking for some JOY tonight… I think

I know what I need to do to find it.

We’ve been studying the Beth Moore book on the fruits of the Spirit in Thursday morning Bible study, and honestly, they’re all thought provoking. But this past week, the one on the faithfulness of God really stuck out and made an impression. I don’t remember her exact words, but she basically eluded to the fact that when something in life is hard, God will often deliver us through it rather than from it.

He’s teaching me. I’m learning. I don’t know if I’m learning enough yet, but I know He’s doing things. Changing my heart. Making me a little more like Him.

It hasn’t been a great week, but it does encourage my heart to know that my Father, the Giver of all things good, loves me, cares for me, wants what’s best for me.

And is faithful to me.

Just a little thought tonight. Hey, tomorrow’s Wednesday. Halfway there.

Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Scattered Purpose

January 30, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So, I couldn’t do it…I almost did.

I almost consciously let the day go by without writing.

And I couldn’t. I was watching the clock tick later and later, knowing that I had to make the decision soon.

Honestly, the first time is going

to be painful. I’ll probably cry.

And then I’ll find it easier to take a day off here or there.

I decided I couldn’t take the pain tonight. (Mostly ’cause my abs are killin’ me from last night’s workout, perhaps?!) No, really…I just couldn’t.

I spent the afternoon writing my next article for the Patch…I think it’s around 80% finished though I definitely need to work on some grammar issues I’ve got going. Does anyone else use the word really way. too. often.?

It’s like a disease. 😉

And as I sat at the computer this afternoon writing about life and blogging and everything in between, there was a word that kept nagging me.

Purpose.

To be honest, I’m struggling with finding mine right now.

I know I’m supposed to be a wife.

A mommy. A friend. A sometimes-writer, always-blogger.

A follower of Him.

But I have this nagging feeling that there’s something more, something I’m missing.

I pray and ask Him for more direction, but I just feel so scattered. Some days I’m convinced I’ll write the next best-seller, others I think I’ll go a completely different direction and go back to teaching. And still some, I’m content with life as it is, convinced that it’s His purpose for me.

But today’s not one of those days.

I have to continually remind myself that my Father’s purpose for me is far greater than I can imagine and that He simply asks me to trust.

I truly believe that this season for me is meant to be exactly what it is…being home with my family. Writing for free when I have time. 😉 Being a friend. Loving others…or trying to. Living a life for Him.

If it’s meant to be more, then I’ll know it. At least I trust that I will.

Reminding myself of that tonight…that there’s a time for everything, and each of those times are planned by Him.

He knows. He sees. He’s good.

And He’s enough…even when I feel scattered.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am

Just a Talk

January 29, 2012 by · 1 Comment

I didn’t really write much yesterday…so it’s been almost two days since I’ve shared any deep thoughts.

Confession? I was dying to sit down and write tonight, even if it IS closer to 11 pm than it is to 10. 😉

I’m having my post workout bowl of oatmeal with chocolate chips, finishing off a diet coke…and dying for a chat with you all. I think it’s funny (and ironic?) that though last Tuesday is long past, I still want to write every day.

I think I could be certifiably nuts.

But, as a side note, you really should put chocolate chips in your oatmeal. It takes away the need to add sugar and makes the really, really healthy, grainy stuff I eat (’cause it has a ton of protein) taste WAY better.

Now I’ll quit talking about oatmeal ’cause, chances are, you really don’t care. :)

Though you might care about the chocolate chips.

I do. 😉

Andre is lying at my feet…and it’s moments like this that I soak up.

I so rarely have cuddle time with him withOUT Sammy. He is still the sweetest, happiest dog in the world…and I find myself wondering where the last 8 1/2 years went. I know it’s the inevitable when you get a pet, but at the same time, I think every pet owner always wishes they could be the one exception. He’s wonderful. And healthy…and while there are no signs of him even slowing down, it still makes me sad to think that he’s getting older.

Ok, enough of that. I do NOT need to cry at 11 pm.

So I’ve unofficially committed myself to a 10-mile race in May.

YIKES.

That’ s a loooooooot of running.

So far I’ve talked two friends into joining me, and I think it will be good. (aka: I won’t die.) I’m planning to do a half in June, so really, it’s perfect timing.

And the fun part? I get to write about it after!

Yeah, I know I’m dork.

I’ll just admit that yes, I find JOY in running and writing.

Could I get any dorkier

?

Don’t answer that. 😉

Unfortunately my training needs to start for that race sooner rather than later. I should probably make a plan, oh, tomorrow. I am a teeny bit excited. :)

We leave for Spain five weeks from Tuesday. I haven’t booked hotels. I still tear up when I think of leaving Mae. I have no shorts that fit. (Very true.) We don’t have rides to the airport yet. (Anyone? Anyone? ;)) It feels surreal.

But at the same time, it feels good. Tobin and I have needed to do this for awhile. Not necessarily go to EUROPE…but take some time to invest in us. In all honesty, we’ve spent most of our anniversaries traveling between here and Indo or moving…I think six out of nine.

We always said we’d do something big for our 10th…and here it is!

So as uncertain as I am about a few details, I have to remind myself that some of the crazy trips we’ve taken in the past have left us with some of the best memories we have as a couple. No marriage is perfect, and we’ll be the first to tell you we’ve had our challenges. And nine day trips to Europe don’t fix things.

But they do give intentional time to focus on the relationship. And the good stuff.

There’s SO MUCH good. And I’m really thankful for that.

And now that I’ve spilled my heart about pretty much everything…

Go have some oatmeal.

And don’t forget the chocolate chips. 😉

G’nite, friends.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, running, travel, where I am, writing

Grin… :)

January 28, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Tobin spent some time the last few days organizing our photos on our new desktop.

And, lo and behold, there are pictures I had no clue we had in digital format.

This one?

Just made me grin…

Gosh, we’re cute. Hard to believe it’s been almost ten years.

Love this guy.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, marriage, Tobin

Little Blessings (Pt. 20)

January 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) Cuddle time with my favorite little girl. And giggles…lots of giggles.

:) Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips.

Oh. My. Goodness. They need to sell them in smaller bags.

:) A ten-mile race in May to train for.

Choosing to see this one as a blessing.

😉

:) Reminders this week that God is faithful.

:) Prayer and what a blessing it can be to pray for people I love.

:) Watching my daughter’s vocabulary continue to explode… new words this week

? Cello (I know!), pinecone, puzzle. (All while pointing to pictures of them. It’s so fun to watch!)

:) Missing Indonesia a lot today and thinking of so many reasons why I loved it.

:) Good coffee, good chats, good friends.

:) Eight hours of sleep…straight.

:) American Idol auditions…fun to watch and bring back some amazing memories.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, Maelie, remembering

Being Held

January 26, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So yesterday’s mail brought a new ch

apter in Maelie’s life…or at least, the beginning of a new chapter.

The POTTY CHAIR!

(Goodness…I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready for this thing we call potty training!)

Right now, it just sits in the downstairs bathroom, and she’ll sit on it, play with it, haul it into the living room. You know, the things 19 month-olds are supposed to do with a potty chair. 😉

Tonight she was sitting on it and saying, “Potty, potty!” So we did what any intelligent, sure-their-daughter-is-a-potty-training-prodigy, parents do…we removed the diaper and plopped her, cute little naked butt and all, on the chair.

She thought it w as gre

at and giggled and squealed for a couple minutes.

(But, alas, no actual potty.) As we were trying to pick her up to put her diaper back on, she fought us and ended up pinching her finger on something.

Oh, she cried. Squealed. Howled.

She. Could. Not. Be. Comforted.

I finally managed to get the diaper back on, her pants pulled up…and I held her close as she cried. The tears flo wed for several minutes, and

we ended up in the front room on the couch snuggling under a blanket as we shared a pillow.

It’s where she felt safe.

Eventually the pain (must have) lessened because she hopped down for a minute to go play in her kitchen…only to return, running to mommy’s arms, where she snuggled up again for several minutes.

This scenario repeated for probably half an hour…each time, she’d come running to me and want to be held.

What a beautiful picture. And reminder.

It’s been a couple months.

And there is far more meaning to those previous five words than most of you know.

To say it’s been hard, difficult, challenging…only scratches the surface.

Heart-wrenching, tear-stained…are far more accurate.

But those snuggles tonight reminded me that just as Maelie found comfort in her mommy’s arms, I can also always, always find comfort in my Father’s arms.

Even if I leave them to go try something on my own, I know I can always return to be held.

Loved.

Comforted.

When I talk about the last two months, I also need to interject that things are getting better. There’s no such thing as a perfect day, but I have a Hope that is certain…and that? Is comfort. :)

My Father is so very Good, and He held me and loved me exactly as I needed during that time. And I know He always will whenever I need Him to.

That’s incredible.

What love.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, Maelie, where I am

Just Because…

January 25, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Just because I can

?

No, truthfully…I sat down at the blog tonight because I want to. It felt strange for the entire day to go by without feeling pressure to sit down and write my required daily post. Maelie went down for her nap, and I ran three miles on the treadmill. Showered. Folded laundry and put it away. Picked up the house. Sent a couple e-mails. Got a lot done. It’s amazing the feeling that comes with freedom.

:)

And, yet, somehow I missed something. Sharing my heart, maybe.

It’s been an encouraging week. A few little things here and t

here that are giving me glimpses of what the future might look like. Nothing big, nothing too exciting, but something to make me feel that I have a purpose outside of being a mommy.

It will be fun to tell you more about that…later. :)

But I have to admit to you that yesterday, I almost signed on for another year of blogging every day because I was so afraid to let it go. And I make no promises…who knows? Maybe I will blog another 365.

Oh, wait…366. It’s leap year. 😉

But for now, I’ll just write because I love it. And that’s enough. :)

My hubby bought me a present to celebrate blogging for a year. I’ve really wanted to see this movie since it was in the theatre, and he came home with it today. So…this is what we’re doing tonight. After we eat ice cream ’cause I saved my calories for it. :)

It’ s a good night.

Back soon.

Sig

Filed Under: just life, where I am
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