Unplugging

Hey, friends!

Pardon the short and sweet post tonight.

We had a busy day, lotsa snow, and I worked my muscles a little (or a lot!) by shoveling. Don’t laugh at me…I kinda love to shovel. :)

Though I’m gonna be feelin’ it tomorrow!

Maelie and I are heading to Iowa in the morning, and…miracle of miracles…I am actually mostly done packing for us. (And, most likely, we will wait until later morning or early afternoon to leave…depending on the roads and weather.)

I’m also going to be “unplugging” for the weekend.

I use that term very loosely…I may, in fact, still write my Five-Minute Friday, but for the actual weekend, I’ll be taking a break to clear my head and spend some time with family and friends…I’m especially looking forward to seeing my two best friends…I don’t see them often enough.

But I’ll be back on Monday…AND on Tuesday to tell you about some things God has been showing me when it comes to dreaming. Things that, even a few days ago, I’d been blind to. Things that I think He’s going to use, and I’m excited. πŸ˜€ Are you curious yet?

You should be. πŸ˜‰Β 

Really looking forward to sharing more with you all. And if I’m not here tomorrow, happy weekend! Thanks for being here, friends. :)

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Mean Girls

It’s Tuesday…Dreaming Day.

Actually, every day is full of dreams for me ;), but today…grab a cup of coffee and let’s have a chat.

Last week, my friend Holley asked the ladies on the God-Sized Dream Team to do something really scary. Like, so scary, I still cringe.

She asked us to post a photo of ourselves during an awkward phase.

Oh, there were sweaty, shaky hands and almost-puke-inducing butterflies as I selected this photo, checked fifty times to make sure I was only posting it to the private Dream Team facebook page, and then hit the share button.

Awkward, almost-12-year-old Mel.

It’s not as if I think I was the ugliest person on the planet…though that perm…really?! Why did we ever think that was a remotely acceptable style? πŸ˜‰

But that picture reminds me of things. People. Words…often unkind ones. Memories I can’t shake of a heart-bleeding time in my life.

Those have left deep wounds that are still not fully healed.

I was awkward, somewhat of an outcast…always questioning belonging and relationship. Not the happiest place for a preteen to be. And, sadly, it never really got better until I moved on from that little Iowa town.

There were just some mean girls…I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now. And I really don’t want to go there today…we all know about mean girls.

But when I saw today’s writing topic,

What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

Oh, I tried. Believe me, friends, I tried…to find one fear that was bigger, one that scared me more, yet I could somehow bear to face a little easier in this vulnerable, online place of heart-spilling.

But I just couldn’t.

Because, more than anything, I am afraid of mean girls.

I fear what I feared in middle school…in a different, yet strangely similar, way.

I fear that the things I write from my heart that mean so much to me will be ridiculed and made fun of, purposely stomped on and torn apart. I fear that the dream God has placed in my heart will shatter to bits under the weight of these things.

Oh, how these thoughts and emotions could potentially destroy me if I let them. And I can’t let them.

I know that these fears and insecurities I have in me won’t just disappear overnight. That’s not the way we learn trust and acceptance and identity.

But what I know? Is that my God is bigger than them.

Way bigger.

And in facing this fear of rejection, I simply need to rely on His promises to me and trust them as Truth…because they are.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:7-8

There are probably a thousand other verses I could share…My Father is truly the One Who can heal and overcome, build us back up when we’ve been torn down…and remind us of where true belonging and identity are found.

Perhaps the experiences I’ve had have also reminded me of grace and the choice I have to extend it each day to those around me. I don’t always know what they face; I don’t know what goes on in their hearts. But I can choose to love and accept, to be kind and embrace others as who God has created them to be.

And if you’d like to read some amazing stories of how God is at work in making big dreams happen for some amazing women, click on the button below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Monday Scatter

Do you ever have those scatterbrained days?

I started off with a plan for this glorious day called Monday. I really did.

It is so against my personality type to make a to-do list, but I actually scribble one out every Monday (on crazy paper that’s about nine different colors ;)) and add to it as the week goes on. This morning I was actually pretty motivated, but I had such a hard time focusing.

While Maelie ate her breakfast, I was planning to send out an e-mail to my Bible study. (That didn’t happen until much later.)

Then, while she was painting or doing puzzles, I was going to have some quiet(er) time…catching up on a study I’m doing and reading some Psalms. Instead, I felt guilty that I hadn’t shoveled yet and the poor mailman (or woman) would have to tromp through four-ish inches of fluffy snow…and so I took Maelie outside to “play” at 8:30 a.m. :) She had fun in the snow and “helped” me shovel, which only made everything take longer, but it’s about the memories, right? And those were most definitely made. πŸ˜‰

This afternoon was more of the same. I went to clean the kitchen and got sidetracked by a basket of laundry that needed folding. I pulled out the vacuum, and it sat in the living room for two hours before I actually used it.

Just call me incredibly scattered today. Oy…

Even tonight…I sat down to finally write after my usual, Monday night workout, and I got distracted by this site. Oh, don’t misunderstand me…I think it’s fantastic to use your smarts to donate rice to help feed the hungry. And…it was a good reason to brush up on my world geography. πŸ˜‰

But, still…did I actually do what I intended? Um, nope…well, not til at least 10:30 p.m.

I guess some days are just like that…all over the place.

I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting on Friday’s post.

I couldn’t believe how hard it was to publish that.

Ever the non-rule-follower, I actually do follow the rules for Five-Minute Friday, and after my five minutes of writing were done, I saved the draft, plopped on the couch next to my hubby…and cried. I could have not pushed the publish button, I guess…I was caught in this strange place of wanting to know how honest I should/could/wanted to be.

Not everything needs to be shared, ya know? And I wasn’t sure I wanted to share all of that. I don’t feel I owe any of my readers an explanation for my obvious openness…it’s certainly not the first time I’ve bared my soul. πŸ˜‰ But it was a hard post to put out into the blogosphere.

The funny thing? Was that I felt free after I published it. Almost as if God said, Ok, Mel…you know what you need to do, so just do it. Trust Me. Actually, pretty sure He did…and has been saying it for awhile. :)

And that makes me smile. It’s a good place to land after a scattered day. Here’s hoping for a little more focus tomorrow. :)

Sig

Currently…

Been awhile since I’ve done this one. And it’s a good way to wind down on a Sunday night. :)

Current Reads: Just finished Unglued (Lysa Teurkeurst)…we read that one for Mom’s Bible Study. It was so, so good…I recommend it to just about anyone. Just about finished with A Year of Biblical Womanhood (Rachel Held Evans) which has been a fun and challenging read. Also almost finished with The Do-What-You-Can Plan (Holley Gerth) and so excited to dive into her new book, You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream! (Planning to start it tomorrow!)

Current Playlist: I actually just made a new favorites/running playlist a few days ago. Even splurged and bought a few new favorite songs on iTunes. This one is definitely toward the top of the list…I even hold my own little karaoke session in the car whenever it’s on. :)

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: These. Found on Pinterest, of course. πŸ˜‰ I decided that even if we didn’t have plans for the Super Bowl, we could still eat something yummy. Oh, my.

Current Colors: Gray and mustard yellow, green, cream, black. Lovin’ a lot of colors right now.

Current Fetish: Leg warmers and tall boots…two things I love about being cold and am desperately trying to wear as often as possible. :)

Current Food: See above. Though we went out for some pretty amazing buffalo chicken pizza here last night. Gotta be a winner when you combine two of my favorites.

Current Drink: Water. Though thinking about making some coffee. Yes, I’m boring. πŸ˜‰

Current Wishlist: Nothing, really. I’m boring? A new laptop, but that will have to wait. Still got a few miles left in this new-to-me one. πŸ˜‰

Current Needs: Peace…and more trust in my Father through some uncertainties that seem to be looming on the horizon. He is Good.

Current Triumph: A pretty fantastic week (minus a few isolated incidents) with my daughter. Less and less temper tantrums, less and less mama-frustration…lots more happy memories and bonding moments. She is my sunshine. :)

Current Bane-of-my-Existence: Rude drivers who don’t obey merge signs. (Not that I’ve had a recent experience with that or anything. ;))

Current Celebrity Crush: Well, there’s this pretty cool guy. And he’s married to a girl who could maybe be a published author in the near future. And that would make him a celebrity, right? Yeah, I’ve got a crush on him. πŸ˜‰

Current Indulgence: Too much coffee. I blame it on the creamer…always the creamer. And that sinful, buttery dessert I may have mentioned a few times already.

Current Mood: Subdued with a bit of guilt. I should be trying to add a chapter or two to the rough draft tonight. (Though there is definitely still time since I don’t really care about the game. ;))

Current #1 Blessing: One? Really? My little family. My sweet friends. My Father and His love for me.

Current Slang or Saying: Oy; Oh, goodness; Really?!

Current Outfit: Hoodie, jeans, and my favorite slipper boots.

Current Link: I always hate this one. I’ve got a bunch of new faves on the sidebar of my blog…feel free to check ’em out! :)

Current Photo: Tonight you get me and my sweet boy, Andre. Love him. :)

Happy almost-Monday, friends! Hope your weekend was a good one.

Sig

Little Blessings (Pt. 60)

:) Playing puzzles with my girl.

:) Laughter and extra snuggles on a rainy day.

:) Finishing a pretty fantastic book/Bible study. Highly recommended. Definitely looking forward to our next one, too!

:) A productive writing night. Smiling after another 3,500ish words…definitely getting there!

:) A lazy night to snuggle under a blanket and watch episodes of my favorite show on DVD.

:) A day this week in the almost-60’s. It may have rained, but at least it wasn’t freezing outside!

:) Friends who encourage my heart.

:) Sharing dreams.

:) Lessons learned on days that are tough.

:) Knowing that my Father has everything in His hands.

It’s a great night for counting blessings…what are some of yours?

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Pushing Past Doubt

When I went I away to college, I was barely 18. (Read: just weeks into adulthood.)

There were a lot of rules going on at my small, Baptist college (another day, maybe ;)) but the one that nearly destroyed my college career was the you-can-only-miss-three-weeks-of-classes-per-semester, any-more-and-you-fail rule. No exceptions.

At face value, this rule didn’t seem like much. Who plans on missing that much school?

What I didn’t factor into the equation was the possibility of sickness.

Two weeks into the semester, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. I missed my three weeks, but I was adamant that I would not fail my classes and headed back to school even though I probably shouldn’t have just yet.

It was a tall order to fill…if I missed any one class another time, I would automatically fail it. (Let me just point out here that at a college with 7 a.m. classes, oversleeping was an entirely realistic possibility. Especially for a girl who loves her sleep. :))

I went back determined…and I did ok for a couple weeks until I heard two girls talking about me. (They have no idea, to this day, that I heard their conversation.)

She’s never going to be able to do it. She’ll give up and go home.

At the time, the words sliced like a knife. I couldn’t believe that at a Bible college, people were being anything less than supportive. (A bit naive, perhaps? ;))

I found myself tucked into a corner in my dorm room that night, knees huddled to my chest, crying my eyes out…So. Ready. To. Just. Quit. I had started to believe what those girls had said was true…that I could never do it. That I should just give up.

I’m not sure at the time if it was more because I wanted to prove those girls wrong (which I totally did…YAY me!) or if I wanted to obey God. I knew He wanted me to be a teacher, something I had dreamed of for years, and a failed semester with all of that wasted money would only put that dream even further out of reach.

And so I stayed, wading through life a day at a time, praying I could somehow do it all. I didn’t come out of that semester with straight A’s, but I did make it. :)

***************************

And now here I am. Still Mel.

A little wiser and maybe-a-little older. πŸ˜‰

Wife, mommy, friend, blog-writer, hopefully, soon-to-be, published-author.

There are those days when the enemy whispers discouragement and frustration into my already-doubting heart. The sad thing is, sometimes he uses people to do it.

I had a situation recently where someone said something that literally about destroyed me…they had a hard time believing I’d follow through.

The logical part of me gets that…I do, I really do.

I’m extremely fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I get passionate about something and dive ALL-IN, sure that the entire world around me can’t wait to join in the fun. :)

But the emotional, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve side needed to get the tears out first.

And after I’d cried about it for probably-too-long, I talked to God. I even admitted to Him that sometimes I have a hard time following through. As if He needed me to tell Him that. πŸ˜‰

But He was so Good, bringing me back to this scene from college, one that I had almost let ruin me and my future, because I’d allowed a lie to creep into my heart and take root.

The lie that said I couldn’t do it. Just because someone else didn’t think I could.

We dreamers…that’s including any of YOU who have ever had a dream…are in a vulnerable place. It takes courage and confidence and strength to put those dreams out there for the world to see. It takes even more of the above to push forward and follow those dreams with a curious audience watching. It puts us in a place where it’s very possible there will be word-throwing and ability-bashing.

And sometimes failure.

We just have to keep going. Trusting. Following what He’s called us to do.

I’m not going to tell you all that I’ve completely forgotten those words that were said to me. I’m extremely thankful that there’s been resolution, and I’m holding nothing against that person. Hugs have been exchanged, all is good. :)

But I’d be willing to bet that it’s not the last time this kind of discouragement is going to creep in, but rising above it and pushing forward is what my Father wants me to do.

Remembering that it isn’t about proving someone wrong…it’s about following what I’m called to do.

My dear friends, dreamers…follow your calling. Don’t let people get you down. Do what you know you need to do, and never forget that

The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
1 Thess. 5:24 (NIV)

Want to read more stories of how God-Sized Dreams are being realized? Click on the button below and hop on over…we’re linking up every Tuesday to share what God is doing!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Post-Weekend Chatter

Weekends have been kind of quiet lately…and I almost didn’t write today.

There’s nothing crazy or too-interesting happening in life (well, other than the random ice storm that showed up yesterday and has since made a slushy, sloppy, swimming pool in our yard) but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Whatever it is, my heart has been pretty silent the last few days. That in particular seems slightly out of character, but it is what it is. :)

I’ve been trying to put more focused energy into writing my book, and the draft is getting there, one story at a time. I have to admit that some of the stories are making this book more and more painful to write.

I started with the easy stuff. I don’t cry over things like remembering the time I ate a baby octopus in one bite or the first time I tried durian. Those things bring happy smiles…though, along with them, perhaps a slight gag reflex. πŸ˜‰

It’s the stories of painful-chiseling, pride-crushing, and relationship-breaking that make me cry. Says the girl who sobbed all over her keyboard at Starbucks last Wednesday night. Twice.

I’ve got a lot of stories that will make you laugh, but there are a few that will make you cry, too. And as I’m pounding them out one by one, it’s coming together. I am so, so close to the halfway point, which symbolizes a lot for me. It means I’m actually writing a book.

Wowza. :)

I’ve been going through Holley Gerth’s The Do-What-You-Can Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better, and I’m following one of her awesome suggestions. (Actually, I’m following quite a few of them, but I especially liked this one.) πŸ˜‰

A reward for reaching a goal.

See? See Mel’s reward? Do you SEE????

Of course you do. πŸ˜‰

This is my Mel-gets-to-use-this-when-she-gets-to-the-halfway-point purse! :) (Special thanks to my dad for the Christmas money. ;)) The deal to myself is that this purse hangs where I can see it, but I have to reach the halfway point in my draft before I’m allowed to put anything in it and use it.

I kind of want to point out the incredible self-control I am currently demonstrating… πŸ˜‰

The halfway point for me is 26 chapters/short stories AND 25,000 words. I’m close in the chapters department but behind with the word count, so I have some tweaking to do.

But on to other things because I’m really supposed to save my book-talking for Tuesdays. :)

The other exciting thing in our lives (though you will not finding me jumping for joy over it) is that we are potty training. Again.

But as of late Monday morning, it is going far better than any other attempt.

I am motivated.

She hates having her diaper changed, and truth-be-told…I am growing to hate changing them.

She is preregistered for PK-3 for August…I know! We won’t dwell on this one or I may sob (again) all over the keyboard. (Prerequisite: Must. Be. Potty. Trained.) And? It would be lovely if she could attend VBS in June…which she will love and for which she must, again, be potty trained.

My biggest motivation is, perhaps, that she is almost too big for her size 5 diapers. While I’m already tired of buying them, I’m even less excited about the fact that for a box of size 6…you get 30ish less diapers for the same price.

Hence…we are hard-core potty training for a few mornings this week. (And stuck at home until Thursday morning, should any of you like to bless me with your presence to provide some much-needed socialization. :))

The bright side to my Monday (besides the extra large bag of M&M’s used as Maelie’s reward…of which I’ve eaten far more than she has…) is that I get to hang with this girl.

I adore her. Insanely.

Even on potty training days. :)

Happy Monday, all! Hugs. :)

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Again

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Again

I pick her up by her armpits and swing her high in the air.

The goal is as high as my muscles can handle…and probably even more to achieve the loudest, most exuberant, overjoyed, squeal possible.

It’s a new game we started about a month ago, and she really can’t get enough of it.

When I’ve given her a few good swings and gotten those little feet way up over my head, I give my muscles a break.

But this sweet, two-year old girl? Doesn’t always understand the word, rest. :)

Again! Again! More, mommy!

If my muscles aren’t completely dying, I’ll usually indulge her pleas a few more times before I need her to give me an honest break.

Even though she’ll still beg me to swing her up into the air again.

One more time. Always one more time. πŸ˜‰

Sometimes I think about my relationship with God and how I am such the same way with Him.

He asks worship. A life of obedience. Simple praise.

He doesn’t ask for it once…He asks for it Again. And Again. And Again.

As He should.

And often…I will excuse myself with the simple fact that I’m too tired to read my Bible and spend quality time with Him…the kind that has been lacking during my busy day. It’s ok to miss today, I tell myself. I’ll do better tomorrow.

But it isn’t a once, whenever-I-feel-like-it kind of thing…It’s. Daily. Obedience. Worship. Praise.

It’s an again and again and again thing…regardless of how I’m feeling, regardless of my circumstances.

Father, I pray I’ll do better. Today.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Hand-Holders

In life, I need those people. We all do.

Hand-holders.

The ones who will celebrate victories by taking my hands and, no matter who is watching, jump up and down with me.

Squealing gleefully is optional but most definitely adds to the fun. :)

Those same people are the ones who will grasp tightly to my hand as I sit with a mug of coffee and heart-spill all over the glazed, wooden, Starbucks table.

The ones who will grab my hands and say a prayer because sometimes that’s all they can do.

I am always amazed as I consider the different paths on which my Father has taken me. Places I never would have imagined, valleys I’d never even considered, victories better than anything I could have dreamed.

At every step, there’s been a hand-holder.

For I have never done alone well.

I need friends who not only will go out for coffee :), but will sit and share hearts. Cry tears. Laugh loudly. Love deeply.

Hold my hand. Sometimes…really, always…in their hearts.

And so when the God-Sized Dreaming began and my book-writing dream began to grow even more in my heart, I knew which hand-holding friend would pray me through this journey.

Kris is so much more than my friend and neighbor. Lucky her. πŸ˜‰ She’s my sister-in-Christ and the Godmother to my daughter. She’s a fellow coffee-drinker, dark chocolate-consumer, music-lover. She reads my blog, encourages my writing, and when we chat…well, sometimes it lasts for hours. She loves people well and inspires me through the way she walks in Grace.

Oh, and she makes really amazing hot fudge sauce. Like, so good you don’t really need the ice cream at all. :)

She’s prayed me through some tough days and celebrated some pretty wonderful ones with me, too. And knowing that she’s lifting me up every day means…a lot.

I am so blessed to call her my friend.

(This pic was last summer…we really need to get the camera out more. :))

I believe we all need real-life friends who will love and encourage us, but I have also been so blessed by the connections I’ve made with God-Sized Dream sisters. Last week we teamed up with other dreamers in our group to pray for and encourage each other. These two women are amazing…and I know you’ll be blessed by reading their stories and hearing their hearts!

Cathy blogs at Moments on the Journey. She is an encourager and has already blessed me and made me smile so many times in the past week! Hop over here to read about her God-Sized Dream and what He’s doing!

Jessica is also a dreaming sister and blogger. Her space is a great place to be…head on over and read about what God is doing in her life and heart!

And I really can’t end this post without mentioning this guy.

Yeah, I kinda love him.

We are extreme opposites, and anyone who knows us…knows that. :) I rock the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants ENFP label, and he…is the ever-rock-solid ISTJ. He is not a blogger. He often doesn’t “get” my writing style or the random ways my brain works. But he loves and supports me…to the point that he told me last week, Honey, you can buy a ticket for that blogging conference. I want you to go.

Yeah, this one.

Insert extremely happy dance. πŸ˜€

He has loved me on the days when I’m anything but lovable, held me up through days when I couldn’t stand on my own, celebrated victories with me by buying me chocolate and sweaters…and as a bonus, he’s a pretty fantastic daddy to our girl.

And though no part of our journey has been perfect, he’s an amazing hand-holder too. I love you, Honey. I’m so blessed to have you by my side.

No matter where we are…no matter the path…no matter the length of the phase of the journey…we all need those cheerleaders, the ones who will grab on to our hands and say, (preceded by the almost-mandatory jumping up and down and squealing,of course)

“You Can Do This!!!”

(And if you’d like to read more about what God is doing in the lives of other dreamers, click on the button below and come on over…we’ll be linking up every week!)

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Little Blessings (Pt. 59)

:) Bedtime snuggles with my favorite little one.

:) Dress-up clothes and princess shoes.

:) Coffee and a friend-chat.

:) Dreaming sisters.

:) Sleeping in.

:) Cake.

:) Good reads.

:) Music and celebrations.

:) Moments of rest.

:) Laughing with my family.

It’s a good night to count blessings. What are some of yours?

Sig