Five-Minute Friday: Jump

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Jump

I watch her jump Every. Single. Day.

It’s one of her favorite things.

Whether she’s jumping from a chair, jumping on the bed (which she’s technically forbidden to do but still does…) or simply jumping to the next place she’s planning to go, the girl lives to jump.

And there are times I have to ask her, in all of her two year-old non-understanding, to stop, simply for my sanity.

But the truth is, I think it’s adorable…the way she finds so much pleasure in the simple. The way jumping down each back step brings a smile to her face…and, well, it makes me smile, too. Really big.

I get so caught up in the busy of life…things that occupy way too much time, and I forget that sometimes, joy can be found in the simplest of things.

A few days ago we were taking a little walk down the sidewalk in our neighborhood.

She looked at me. Mommy, jump?

I obliged.

We jumped down the sidewalk.

And it was the best part of my day.

You know, I might just spend tomorrow holding her hand…and we’ll jump through our day together.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

A Reminder of His Protection

I don’t love to fly.

Which could actually be shocking to many of you, considering that my life, in general, has deemed traveling by plane very necessary.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that takeoffs and landings, especially, scare the b-geebies out of me. This, coming from a girl, who has endured at least two hundred of them. Yep, I still sweat and grip the armrests so tightly that my knuckles turn white.

So, you can imagine the kind of conversation that ensued when, Saturday morning I trudged out of bed (yes, I usually trudge for the first few minutes…not exactly a morning person), and his first words to me…

This is crazy…a plane coming from Bandung overshot the runway in Bali and landed in the ocean. 

So, like any curious, former-Bandung-Indo-resident, Bali-lovin’, girl would do, I immediately headed to the computer to watch a clip with him.

It kind of shook me up to see it.

We’ve flown all over Indonesia. Once, even with that very airline. We’re also (still) aware of the fact that several of the airlines there don’t meet safety requirements, and runways in several major Indo airports teeter toward the too-short length. There is one, in fact, that has been “officially” deemed too short, but it’s one we never actually landed on.

Seeing the footage sent chills up and down my spine as I recounted the many times we’ve landed on that very runway. (Prayers being uttered during every landing by yours truly. ;))

Once we watched the footage together (and laughed at how one of the announcers pronounced Bandung (friends, its Bon-doong, not Ban-dung ;)) we had to process it out, you know.

Or, at least one of us did. :)

Indonesia and Bali are both on our list for next year. We’ve been wanting to take Maelie there before she gets too much older…plus, if we’re going that far, we have to do Bali so this girl can hit a surfboard for a few hours. 😉 Well, and so we can introduce our girl to this little slice of paradise that is so special to us.

But, true to my personality type, I immediately freaked out. I guess there’s no way Maelie will see Bali now!

:)

It’s moments like that when I’m glad to be married to a rock-solid, albeit-slightly-a-little-too-steady, ISTJ like Tobin. Because his response?

Why not?

He gets it, and it was a short, not too earth-shattering (thought maybe plane-splitting ;)), reminder that my Father has it all figured out. The fact is that if our time to go…and if God chooses a plane crash for that…then there’s not a lot I can do to stop it.

I just have to trust that He’s got it all worked out for good…and I know He does.

I’m posting this video because, praise God, other than some minor injuries, everyone made it off the plane safely, which seems like a miracle when you see the plane. (It is also, in fact, shocking how close to shore that plane is.) We used to hang out at Kuta Beach and watch the planes come and go from just a mile or two away…crazy to think that a plane went down just that distance from where I surfed and boogie boarded. Wild.

Thanking my Father today for His protection of these precious people.

(P.S. My apologies for any potential ads that may precede this video…I tried to find the least-offensive one, but who knows what’s gonna show up. ;))

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Here

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Here

I’m sitting here on the couch. Deep, I know. 😉

It’s that moment of the day that I’ve been looking forward to…a time when I can just hash it all out without (well, almost always without) using the delete key or proofreading or questioning.

Just a time to process five minutes of here and what’s going on in life now.

Honestly, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past few months and the ways that time has felt so up and down, so full of circle-spinning.

So many questions…and, just, wondering.

And the thing He continues to remind me of is the present…of the fact that the blessings, the joys, the sorrows, the ups and downs, the millions of things that make up the past…they all add up to this. The here.

And, I love it.

Despite the fact that in the last month I’ve wept over past loss.

Or the fact that I struggled through days of parenting and prayed with everything in me that I wasn’t screwing it all up.

Or even that, in the pursuit of a dream, there are days when it feels so close, and other days when I feel like I’ve been body slammed fifty miles backwards.

And He reminds me…Here.

Now.

Live.

Just as it is, just as it comes.

Take what you’ve learned…and live it, along with the blessings all around.

That is here.

And I am blessed.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Dear Chihuahua,

Dear Chihuahua of Fear,

I have some things I’d like to say to you.

You see, I know what it’s like to be chased by you, oh tiny, insignificant, annoying one.

Most mornings I wake up ready to go. I tie the laces of my running shoes, stretch, crank up my playlist, and get moving.

On my early morning run, I don’t usually notice if you’re there.

It could be that my playlist of praise is vastly overpowering your presence. Or, it could be that I’m simply too tired to notice that you might be trying to run me down.

But as I continue to run throughout my day, that’s when I notice you.

You nip at my heels when I continue dreaming dreams.

You chase me with your little two-inch-long legs if you think I’m moving closer to those dreams.

You bark with a sound that resembles a child’s squeaky toy, far more than a canine, at the very moments I’m finding my voice.

On the occasion that you sink your teeth in…oh, I’m sure you’re pretty proud.

But the thing is, Chihuahua, you’re little...in one swift kick, I can send you to the curb.*

I can outrun you…I’m pretty sure you can’t pull an 8:15 mile with those tiny little legs.

And when you bark? Well, I just turn up the praise a little louder and let my Father speak over the fear.

You may bite, sometimes. You may draw a little blood, make me cry…you may even leave a mark.

But, guess what?

Those emphasis-on-the-word-little marks are going to be nothing more than tiny battle wounds. Scars to remind me of overcoming and victory and the fact that

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

It’s Tuesday, friends! Come on over to Holley’s place to check out how some incredible, God-Sized dreaming sisters are staring down the Chihuahuas of Fear in their own lives.

God-Sized Dreams

*My apologies to all chihuahua lovers; no chihuahuas were harmed in the writing of this post. 😉

Sig

Stitch Fix…the Experience

stitchfix

A few weeks ago, I signed up for Stitch Fix.

The concept is pretty cool, actually. You go online, fill out your style profile, sizes, preferences, etc…and then one of the designers picks out five clothing or accessory items for you. They ship it to you, you try things on, keep what you like, return what you don’t.

It costs $20…which can be applied toward any items you decide to keep; if you decide to keep everything, they knock a cool 25% off the total price. Returns are free (return envelope included!), and you can schedule your “fixes” anytime.

Really, for $20, it sounded appealing. Even fun. A few of my blog friends have tried it out and had mixed reviews…some loved it, some not-so-much. I was intrigued.

So here are my thoughts and opinions…completely unsolicited. Just my Target lovin’, bargain shoppin’, cute clothes adoring, opinions.

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So when the box arrived, I was pretty excited. (But I totally made myself clean up our bedroom first so I could properly take photos without you seeing any potential messes I’ve created in the last few days due to my clothes throwing tossing habit. 😉

sfbox2

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Even the inside of the box was cute. Stitch Fix really knows how to get a girl excited about clothes!

The first item I pulled out? These beauties.

jeans

I swooned. Really. I would never have picked out a pair of cantaloupe-colored skinnies, but I was actually happy with the color choice. Unfortunately, at least with these pants, they fit like juniors. And this normally-size-six girl doesn’t wear that size in juniors. I could get them on, but I really shouldn’t post that picture for y’all. I guess, from reading other reviews, it’s not completely uncommon for things not to fit, especially the first time. So, a little bummed, but I’m gonna be honest…no matter how much money we have, I can’t justify $88 jeans.

So I slipped into my favorite skinny jeans to try on the rest of my fun fix!

Next up was an adorable, gray tank top. This is totally something I would choose…at Target. Meaning, I’m probably not going to pay this kind of price for a tank top, even if there are some adorable beads around the neckline. But it was cute under my turquoise-y cardigan with the bubble necklace they also sent me.

tank&necklace

Honestly, I adore bubble necklaces. But I don’t adore gold jewelry…so while it was fun to model, I’m not going to keep it.

birdprint

This one was actually my favorite. I’ll be honest…when I saw the bird print, I cringed. I’m am, almost always, NOT a print girl. I like my stripes and polka dots and the occasional flower…but this is cute. I really love the style, but again…I can’t swing $68 for a shirt.

stripes

When I saw my fix, this last one was the one I thought I’d keep if I kept anything. I do like it, despite the fact that I have exactly one red item in my closet currently. But it looked too much like a Target shirt to me…agree?

So, in the end, I’m out $20…with the conclusion that Stitch Fix probably isn’t for someone like me. I love clothes, but I love actually going shopping for them. I also love a really good deal…which makes me a bargain shopper, I guess…and also makes their prices a little too high for my taste. :) But it was a fun way to spend a little money one time.

And…I can see how it’s a good thing for really busy moms who either don’t have a ton of time to go shopping or would prefer not to take their four kiddos along. I get that and I only have a little girl. So…it is a really great thing for some people. :)

Just my opinions…what about you? Have you tried Stitch Fix? Or been thinking about it? I’d love to hear about your experience!

And if you use this link to sign up, I do get a $25 credit to use for another fix, if I decide to try again. 😉

Sig

Heehee…Look What I Did!

BlueHairA few of you wanted a picture, so here ya go, friends. Now, don’t run anyone over as you sprint out the door on your quest for blue highlights. You know you want them. 😉

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: How I Live

What’s a typical day in your life like right now? How can you see God’s hand in the middle of the “small” and ordinary too?

When I first saw the topic for this week, I smiled and started singing a song.

One that, for reasons unknown to me, somehow made it onto my running playlist about a year ago and became a favorite. I especially love the chorus.

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Looking back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did, it’s how you live

“How You Live” Point of Grace

Though it may sound a bit flaky, I try to live my life in this way…with the music cranked up (sometimes literally), looking for the adventure in every step, and dancing throughout my days, too. (As long as there’s coffee. ;))

On a perfect day, I start with a run.  I usually do between three and four miles, but  I only did 2.4 this morning…on Monday nights I work out with friends, and our workout went late last night and was topped off by a frappuccino and a chat with my dear friend :), so I didn’t push it. I’m not Super-runner Woman, either (though I would look good with a cape, huh?!)…it’s something I became intentional about in order to shed those baby pounds and turned into something I enjoy.

When I get home from running (before 7 am) I get the coffee going and get ready for the day.

Key word here = coffee. I drink a ton of the stuff. True confession. But not black…always with creamer. Bailey’s Creme Brulee is my favorite. Mmmmm.

I’m a stay-at-home-mom, and it’s the job title I wear most proudly.

I’m mama to the most incredibly wonderful, spirited, sweet girl, Mae. Ever the non-napper, she almost always gives me a wonderful night’s sleep, so she usually isn’t awake before 7:30. (Unless we’re in time change mode. Ugh.) I love that it gives me time to hop through the shower and get ready somewhat before she’s up.

Once Mae is up, it’s the usual. Breakfast, sometimes-playtime, sometimes-Sesame Street. If she goes the tv route, I use that time to do some Bible reading and blogging. It’s when most of my daytime writing gets done. A lot of people start their mornings early. early. early. with spending time with God. I have found  that it  simply doesn’t work well for me.

I love Him.

But my mind is not coherent enough before my run to focus. Instead, I crank up a pretty sweet playlist of praise songs for my run and worship Him in that way. I love it, and I usually sing along. 😉

The  rest of our day varies, depending on the day. Some days we head to church for Bible study or to help with Feed My Lambs; the other days we’ll chill at home and  do art projects or read stories or play princesses or bake. (She’s a huge play doh fan right now, too.) We save errands for the afternoon, usually, because my ever-so-sweet girl mostly-dropped her afternoon nap last summer. (She takes about one a month.)

It’s a simple day, usually, and sometimes there will be more writing or catching up online interspersed with what we do.

MaeMommyPumpkinDays

My main goal as a stay-at-home mama  is to simply enjoy her and be the best mommy to her that I can be. The days are already passing too quickly, and she’ll be off to preschool in just five short months. Tear. 

My hubby usually gets home around 5:30, and  we’ll spend a little time together as a family,  eat dinner, and then it’s off to bathtime and bed for the non-napper girl we have. :) She’s usually in bed and asleep before 7:30 which gives us some time to unwind. Sometimes T and I will play a game or watch a movie; sometimes we’ll do our own thing…me, usually write; him, catch up with his favorite blogs or watch a TV show. Fun fact: we really love playing cribbage. I know it’s an old-people game, but it’s fun! You should try it. 😉

Being a SAHM was not something I ever thought I’d be, but I love it. I’ve realized, too, that it’s something I should never take for granted. My husband works hard so I can be with my girl, and I know there are a lot of mamas who wish with everything in them that they could be home with their kids, too. I am extremely blessed, and so thankful I can spend my days with Mae. :)

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One of the things God has over-and-over convicted me about is my prayer life. I grew up always thinking that to pray, I needed to stop what I was doing, fold my hands, close my eyes, and talk to Him in that way. And while there are times for that, I try to make prayer part of my lifestyle…and I talk to Him throughout the day. Sometimes in a sentence, sometimes longer. While I’m washing dishes, vacuuming, or even changing a diaper.

I love that He hears me…and that He listens no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

I also love that my daughter is learning the value of speaking to her Father, too, no matter where she is in her day. Often, we’ll pray for Putra, our Compassion child…his picture is on our wall in the kitchen, and she likes to look at it. Mae knows that we can talk to God about him, and that we can do it while we’re playing princesses, too. :)

In relation to my dream(s) and pursuing them in daily life, my biggest goal is to place them in His hands each day and pray for opportunities. Right now, my sweet friend is reading through my book, and I’m good with that…in some ways, it’s a break I can use to reflect on what He’s asking of me and what could potentially be next. As for my other dream of writing for a bigger blog, I talk to Him about it…and just keep doing my thing…

…writing  in this space, which I truly love. I really do, even if the number of blog posts a week has dwindled a bit. (I’m trying to focus on content more instead of word count. Please don’t count the number of words in this post. ;))

I’m trying to be faithful with the smaller things…and trust that He’ll bring the big things when it’s time. His time.

More than ever, right now, I’m content with that, and it’s a good place to be.

Just living the life He’s created for me, following Him in obedience, and trusting that His plan will happen.

And it’s Tuesday! Hop over to the lovely Holley Gerth’s place to read more stories of what God is doing in the lives of my dreaming sisters! We’d love for you to join us. :)

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

For When It’s Hard to Feel

I sat in the pew while he preached yesterday.

Tears brimmed on my lower lids the entire time. The only reason I wouldn’t let them fall is because I didn’t want my eyes to get all streaky before communion.

You know, when someone might notice the black streaks as I made my way back to my seat.

Stupid pride.

He preached about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on the donkey and how the onlookers spread their cloaks and branches, shouting,

Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!

We all know the story…while it was a celebration, the darkest day in history was well on its way.

And the problem was…I knew the story. I’ve heard it a hundred times, more than a hundred.

I keep hoping that this will be the year I feel something.

I’m waiting to feel.

Stupid feelings.

Just about anything can usually make me cry.

I sob buckets at movies.

If I ever argue with T, I’m almost always in tears at some point.

Frustrations make me cry.

Sad makes me cry.

Heck, happy makes me cry, too.

I feel…it’s how He wired me, and I accept that and always make sure I have a tissue.

I usually don’t. 😉

But I have a hard time with being able to accept that when it comes to my faith, it’s so hard for me to feel anything.

I get that a relationship with my Father is not about feelings. It’s not about emotions that pour all over the red carpet of ILC. It’s not about tears that stream down my face as I sing about all He’s done for me.

It is, in fact, about knowing Truth and trusting it even when I don’t feel it.

Yes, there have been times when I’ve cried out to God, literally…and many of them.

Yes, there have been days when I’ve heard a sermon preached and it’s moved me to tears.

There have been life-changing days when I’ve witnessed, firsthand, the power of my Father in transforming a life.

But then there are days like today…days like Palm Sunday when the church is gearing up for Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday and everyone around me seems to be so in awe and emotional…and I sit there.

Oh, the tears were brimming, but it wasn’t because I felt.

It was because I didn’t. And I wanted to. So badly.

In a raw moment, I’m going to say something, in hopes that maybe some of you can relate.

I don’t have an amazing conversion story.

What I have are pieces of ugly and unsure, steps that are hesitant and and taken in fear…that my Father has somehow woven together into a becoming-beautiful journey of trust and acceptance and assurance and surrender.

It’s not perfect, and I know what it’s like to fail.

But I do know…That I’m a sinner. That my Jesus died to forgive my sins. That my Father in Heaven loves me. That He has an eternal home for me in heaven. That I should tell the world.

And I believe it with all my heart.

It’s almost a little too simple, but it’s what He wrote for me, as only He can, and it’s what I desperately cling to on mornings like yesterday when the feelings are absent and it’s too easy to let the guilt become shameful.

It’s Holy Week.

And I know I’ll spend a lot of it reflecting, but while I reflect and regardless of what I feel, I know I need to remind myself that it’s not about feelings…

But about knowing the beauty of what came from that dark Friday so many years ago and trusting that He did it for me.

And you.

Sig

Little Blessings (Pt. 62)

Just a night for counting blessings…join me!

:) Sweet memories with my hubby. 366 days ago, we kissed under the Eiffel Tower. (Sorry, I don’t have a picture of that; we were too busy…um…kissing. ;))

us@eiffeltower

:) Hand-holding days with my girl…I want to savor every one because I know a day is coming when she won’t want to hang on anymore.

:) Unexpected blessings like chatting with a friend and a random lunch date.

:) Beautiful sunshine to make a cold day seem a little less so.

:) Music and the freedom we have to praise Him in this place.

:) A surprise conversation today with someone I’d never met who understood my Indonesia life a little. What a blessing that was to this still, sometimes-homesick, heart.

:) New friends who have spoken Truth, love, and encouragement into my life.

:) Old friends who also speak that same Truth, love, and encouragement.

:) Hard lessons and the reminder of the importance of daily surrender.

:) A Father Who loves me…even when I have those many, many moments a day when I am unlovable.

And, P.S. I couldn’t resist posting this picture just one more time. :)

best eiffel shot

What are some of the ways He’s blessed you this week?

Sig

The Art of Real

I love those days.

The kind when I’m up front singing with praise team and a blog post idea comes to me, mid-song.

Really. I even somewhat processed it out as I sang, but really that’s not a good idea for more than one reason. 😉

It was one of those days that actually started Saturday.

Wake up with monster headache.

Take ibuprofen, drink coffee, take time getting ready.

Go out to get a few things done.

Come home and get ready for commitment that night.

Monster headache still there…more ibuprofen.

Go to said commitment. Come home around 10:30, don’t get to sleep until 12:30. (with the time change thrown in there)

Sleep for six, too-short, hours.

Wake up, and lo and behold, headache? Yep, we’re good buddies now…apparently inseparable ones at that.

Get ready for church, get girlie ready for church, all of us leave at 9:20. (But, really, it’s 8:20. You know, with that awful time change.)

Look in the mirror when I get to church. Not good. I chose yesterday to wear those pants…you know, those. The ones that are a strange, shiny, shade of blue-almost-black that go with everything and, really, go with absolutely nothing.

Hair a mess…yay for day #2 and the new jar of hair putty I was experimenting with that gives me bedhead all day long. Still contemplating whether the slightly spiky, messy look is really a good thing or not.

Tired eyes…teenage skin. (Yep, it was one of those weeks.)

Belly pooching over pants…six pounds since Christmas, and my sixes don’t fit so well anymore.

I kind of wanted to crawl into the back pew and away from the world. But, noooo…not an option yesterday morning.

And as the morning continued on and I stood in up front of the congregation, the question I asked over and over…

Why am I so afraid of real?

Why does it bother me so much if my hair is less than perfect, and if my clothes aren’t equally perfect? If someone sees me without makeup? Or catches me at the end of a week that’s been full of editing and short nights from the girl and even less sleep for the mama?

Without realizing it, I’ve made it too easy to hide behind the makeup and as-perfect-as-I-can-manage hair, behind an outfit that helps me hide at least some of those extra pounds.

We have this image of perfect…and often forget that He loves imperfect. Anyway and in spite of.

But I still try to cover those imperfections…the ones He sees and knows and, yet, unconditionally loves.

I don’t have a pretty ending for this post. I just know what my heart looks like.

I also know that tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up, throw in some type of workout, shower, putty up my hair, put on some makeup, and wear clothes that (mostly) hide the hopefully-now-only five extra pounds.

But I’ll try…to be a little more content and see something beautiful when I see my reflection…instead of seeing all the flaws.

Because He loves flawed and imperfect.

He loves real.

And, this is cool…I wrote most of this post before I read what one of my favorite bloggers, Lisa-Jo, wrote today. I love her perspective…hop over and read her heart. It’s beautiful.

Sig