friends

You Are Four

June 14, 2014 by Mel · 6 Comments

MaeOnHike600
Dear baby girl, the one who’s not so much a baby anymore…

My Maelie Naomi.

Today you are four. FOUR. As in, years old. Wowza, where did the time go?

I was telling a friend tonight, through a stifled giggle, about life exactly four years ago. I was so enormously pregnant that I refused to even take a picture.

And yet I knew, somehow, that the little person inside me was worth the hugeness…that she was going to burst into my life and change it forever.

That, my sweet Mae, is exactly what you have done.

Each year, as I take the time to look back, I realize just how much you have changed me. Just how much better my life is because you fill my days.

I hear your howling and singing, the first things to alert me that you are ready to greet each new day. Sometimes I ask you to turn down the volume, but the truth is? I love your exuberance. And I love YOU even more.

Howl away. Really.

I see the joy you find in the simplest things…in playing outside, in a new little pony, in jumping on the bed only to leap into my arms for a hug…you see the beauty everywhere and you embrace it completely.

I love that about you.

We’ve watched you grow and change so much in the last year…your first year of school already behind you, several haircuts and jeans sizes (quit getting so tall already!) passed, many new skills and words, too. OH. You are just soaking up every piece of life around you.

It’s amazing.

You talk about wanting a baby sister. Sometimes you pretend you already have one. And often, we’ll stop what we’re doing to pray for one.

Sweet girl, I would love to see that happen for you. For all of us. And watching your faith grow as you kneel and ask Him for such a deep desire is something that melts me and breaks me all at the same time.

You are learning lessons, already, in resting in God’s will and trusting Him. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

But I really, really, hope that this is the year you will get to be a sister. Because I think you’d be an amazing one.

There are so many people who love you…when I pause to look around at this community, I see just how blessed we are with the people who love you…and you love them right back.

Please, sweet girl…never stop. Never stop loving people.

It’s a bittersweet night for me…the last night of having a three year-old in the house. I stroke the hair away from your face, watch your chest rise and fall as you sleep, and I know these days are numbered. This doesn’t last forever.

But I also know something else…I know a lot of somethings, but this one thing sticks out more than anything.

God gave us the most precious blessing in you…and every day is a gift.

I’m so glad I get to spend this life with you.

Dream big and love even bigger, my sweet girl.

He’s always got you. You are His forever.

All my love,
Mommy

MelMae600

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, community, family, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Hands

June 5, 2014 by Mel · 34 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

hands

Today’s prompt: Hands

I seriously can’t believe this is the prompt this week.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that my eyes filled with tears the second I saw it. The word, Hands.

You see, God gave me a gift this week. One He knew I needed…even when I didn’t know that.

He sent me a friend…a sweet friend from years ago. We’ve kept up as much as we could, but oceans and countries made that harder. Our lives were so separate…so alike, but that physical separation by miles isn’t always easy to bridge.

But she came for three days…and they were three of the most precious days. Days I will hold in my heart for a long, long time.

There were so many conversations. Some laughs. A lot of deep. Connections…sharing lives that had so many similarities but hadn’t been able to connect in the same room for so long.

What a beautiful gift.

She pulled away on Tuesday morning, and the tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched her go. And then I just breathed thanks…because God knows what we need, and He gives it in the most beautiful, unexpected ways.

But before she went, she left a sweet gift with me and my girl. Something from her life to wear on our wrists…a reminder to pray, and a reminder of our friend.

And so I did what seemed right at the time…I took a picture of our hands.

Just so I could have that little reminder of friendship. And of the way God brings people together in His timing.

Tonight, just before I left for praise team practice, I asked God something. Please give me a word that works…I’d love to write my Five-Minute Friday about this.

And He knew…and He gave it to me.

Friends. Always connected by our Father, even if we can’t be together. I love that He cares about the littlest things.

I’m so blessed.

Filed Under: blessings, Five Minute Friday, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering

A Lesson from Qatar + A Bucket List

May 22, 2014 by Mel · 2 Comments

So a couple months ago we took a trip to Indonesia. This post has been a long time coming…and it took awhile to write, so we’re going back a couple months. 😉

Doha.

That’s in Qatar.

Here you go…a map, just so you don’t have to go and look it up.

qatar
So we layed-over in Doha, Qatar, both going to and coming home from Indonesia. When we first booked our flight with Qatar Airways, I had to look it up on a map. Where is this mysterious country? Is this even a country? (Ahem…clearly, geography was not my strong suit. Actually, it was, but I missed out on this one.)

So I located it, a little peninsula of a country sticking out into the Persian Gulf and, in my opinion, just a bit too close to the country of Iran, but whatever. A motto in my life is to embrace the world, and so I at least try to do that.

So I can’t really tell you, probably due to my lack of coherence (and sleep) at that point in my day, exactly what my first impressions of Qatar…or, at least the airport, were. I remember that we took stairs off the airplane, boarded a big bus, and took a ride to the actual airport, where we went through security again and then made our way to a lounge for eight hours. (Hubby and a guy from Britain decided to strike up a conversation about the missing Malaysia Airlines plane at this time. Gee, thanks…just what I want to talk about as I’m traveling. by. PLANE.)

But the lounge was nice. It needed more beds…really…but comfy chairs, showers, food, and the coolest coffee maker ever more than made up for the lack of places to ACTUALLY. LIE. DOWN. 😉 (And I tried to take a picture of the coffee machine and got yelled at…yep, apparently using my iPhone in the food area of the lounge was a big no-no. Though the woman who scolded me had no argument to back up her scolding. Just trust me…it was cool.) 😉

But I DID sneak this picture of my COFFEE. IN. THE. LOUNGE. (Hand slap.) 😉

Anyway, back to my purpose in telling you all of that. 😉 Since the food was all-you-can-eat, we chose those hours to make up for the less-than-stellar airline food we’d been served, which had gone mostly uneaten. (Except for the bread, the cheese, and the little KitKats.) 😉 And, oh, the food. It was a spread of yummy deliciousness…pastries, breads, sandwiches, fruit, and hummus.

I swooned over that hummus. (And ate as much as I could without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I did feel a little sick. A little.) 😉

It was while I was munching on, yet another, triangle of pita doused in hummus that I realized it…Eating hummus in the Middle East should have been added to my bucket list. You know, the bucket list I’ve been saying I would write for years and never actually HAVE?

Yeah, that one.

The reality is that I probably should write it soon before all that’s left is for me to go skydiving. Because I will never go skydiving, so there.

If you’ve had a conversation with me regarding the trip we took, you may know that really the only negative thing I have to say about our trip to Indonesia involves laying over in Qatar…probably something we will not choose again. (Though the hummus was good.) But there was a takeaway from our time there, and for that I am thankful. (Oh, and I also bought a mug and a little stuffed camel, so I guess I took those things away, too.) 😉

I took away the inspiration to write a bucket list for us. Me in particular, but I’m hoping Tobin and Mae will jump in, too. They’re invited, and so are you.

So here it is…the beginning of it all at least, complete with my happy little commentary.

And, of course, subject to additions for the rest of my life. 😉

Skills

1. Learn to play another instrument and actually play it somewhere. (If anyone will let me!)
2. Sell a piece of my art.
3. Publish my book. (Finish it first, I guess…and then find an agent, too!)
4. Become fluent in another language. (I seem to have a good head-start in Indonesian…) 😉
5. Learn to roast coffee beans.
6. Speak at least once at a writer’s conference.
7. Build a coffee table.

Travel

1. Visit the pyramids in Egypt.
2. Take a boat ride on the Nile and maybe even swim there. (I know, I know. Let’s not talk about the crocodiles, k?) 😉
3. Shop the markets in Turkey. (Must. Buy. A. Cute. Bag.)
4. Take a mommy/daughter trip to another country.
5. Do an overland safari in Africa.
6. See Machu Picchu in Peru.
7. Visit Australia and hold a koala. (Except for Antarctica, it’s the only continent we have left.)

Personal/Parenting/Family

1. Adopt a child.
2. Visit an orphanage with Mae.
3. Read 100 chapter books aloud with Maelie.
4. Return to Indonesia as a family for an extended period of time to serve.
5. Spend a year as a family doing acts of kindness for others.
6. Let Mae choose any adventure she wants to take for her 10th birthday and just go.
7. Do something wild and unexpected for a friend.
8. Do something wild and unexpected for a stranger.

Crazy

1. Buy plane tickets, pack our suitcases, and just go…all in the same day.
2. Buy a home in Bali for retirement someday.
3. Take our friends on a crazy, other-side-of-the-world, getaway for my 40th birthday.
4. Buy a motorbike/scooter in the U.S. (T made me add U.S. ’cause I had one in Indo…) 😉
5. Go a month without using a car at all.
6. Get a tattoo.

Physical

1. Break 27:00 on a 5k.
2. Run a 10k in under one hour.
3. Run a half marathon.
4. Do CrossFit for six months.
5. Learn to do yoga.
6. Run a 5k as a family. (All of us. Running.)
7. Complete a triathlon. (Shakin’ in my Nikes already…)

Spiritual

1. Read through the Bible in six months.
2. Memorize the book of Philippians. (I’m 3/8 of the way done. At least I used to be.) 😉
3. Lead an overseas mission trip.
4. Spend a year volunteering for Mercy Ships in Africa.
5. Go to Uganda with Sole Hope.
6. Learn to love like Jesus.

Did I miss anything? (Of course I did…every time I proofed this list, I kept adding to it!!!) 😉

What would you add?

Here’s to a beautiful life…join me?

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, bucket list, family, friends, just life, Maelie, marriage, Tobin, where I am

On Community and Sisters

May 2, 2014 by Mel · 3 Comments

GSD2

I boarded the plane last Friday morning feeling depleted.

It had been a long few months.

Months that were full of so many blessings…trips, reunions, memories, friendship. So much to fill my heart with thanks.

And yet…months that were full of so much discouragement. A halt to my dreams, a funk that I couldn’t pinpoint, words that were gone.

All I knew was that tired reigned and I was running close…so very close…to empty.

Add to that the fact that anytime I fly, the butterflies do backflips. My stomach goes nuts. Really, it’s pretty miserable until the flight is over, and then things tend to calm down. Thankfully the plane landed early, my crazy-70’s-flower suitcase was one of the first bags out of the gate, and I had no problem finding and hopping the transit shuttle to meet my friend, Mandy.

Just a few minutes later we were exchanging a hug, taking a selfie, and grabbing a Starbucks while we waited for another friend to arrive.

The butterflies were gone, and it was the beginning of a beautiful weekend.

Mandy&MelAirport Yes, that’s a moonwalking cow in the background. I guess he’s famous? 😉

Just an hour or so later, we were all at Gindi’s house, together…most of us reuniting with hugs and hello-agains, and a few hugging hello for the first time.

It was a moment when I stopped, took a deep breath, and determined to savor it all.

And through the weekend, there was plenty to savor, and I’m not just talking about the awesome food.

Y’all. Really.

Tex Mex, BBQ, sandwiches, chips with spinach dip (Oh. The. Spinach. Dip.), a dessert platter to die for. (It’s a wonder I came back lighter…I have no clue H.O.W.)

But food aside, the community. The sweet conversations. The powerful prayers. The amazing worship. The heart spills. The tears. The laughter. The stories. We came together to talk, plan, and pray about the future of God-sized Dreams, but we left with so much more than that.

It was all an amazing gift.

I still can’t quite wrap my head, or my heart, around the fact that God decided to bless me this much. THIS. MUCH…with a community of women. Writers. Dreamers. Friends. Sisters.

It’s true. They are sisters and my family. And we share life, even if it’s more often through messages and voxer than it is around a table.

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They love me even when I’m the ugly crier in the room, they laugh when I get a little crazy and do a cannon ball into a kinda-cold pool, they listen and love when I tell them that I’m not sure of much right now. They smile and do life with me anyway in the mall when the four inch heels just aren’t cutting it and I’m forced to live up to my bloggy namesake. They (somewhat?) willingly happy dance with me. 😉

I’ve spent several days trying to find words…adequate ones…that will explain just how much these women mean to me…and what this weekend meant, too…and there really aren’t words. Just our Father who brought us all together and gives us the reason we’re doing what we do.

I’m thankful. I’m blessed.

And He is Good.

And the weekend did so much for my heart. Even as I boarded the plane Sunday night in Houston when the weather was bad, and I knew that the flight was going to be rough…my heart was still so full.

God gives gifts in all kinds of different ways. This gift…the amazing gift of community…is one I breathe thanks for each day.

To my beautiful sisters…(in no particular order, I promise!)…Mandy, Christine, Holley, Lisa, Alecia, Gindi, Kristin, Elise, Delonna, Elizabeth, Chelle…you truly bless my life, and I am so grateful to be walking this dreaming journey with you.

And I already can’t wait until the next time we exchange hugs. And maybe do a little happy dance together, too. 😉

***Thank you to sweet Lisa, who let me borrow a few of her pictures for this post.

Filed Under: blessings, community, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am

She Called Me Family

April 9, 2014 by Mel · 5 Comments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA I still remember the day when we first talked.

She stood outside the gate of our new home as I pored through our English to Indonesian dictionary, determined to explain to her that while I was excited to have her work for us, the house was far too messy and disorganized for her to even enter it. She should come back on Monday.

I remember the look of confusion in her eyes, and finally, she understood. And thankfully, she came back on Monday despite the utter ridiculousness of my request.

It was a foreign concept, no pun intended, upon our move to Indonesia to even fathom having someone working in our home. It certainly wasn’t a luxury I ever thought I’d have, and yet, in that particular country it was expected. I was a foreigner, and that alone branded me as someone with enough money to provide jobs for others. Not only would we hire a house helper, we would also hire a guard/gardener.

Two jobs for two people.

And though the first weeks were a bit awkward, I quickly found myself warming up to the idea and grateful that among our many responsibilities, cleaning the house, laundry, cooking and taking care of the yard were not included.

Maybe we were a bit spoiled, but those who live or have lived it can testify that it’s necessary. For both sides.

Ibu S quickly became more than just someone who worked in our home. I would take the time I could to practice my limited Indonesian while she practiced her English. As much as we could, we would talk and learn things about each other. Two years in, T and I stayed in the country for the summer and took some language lessons.

As our communication ability grew, so did the friendship I had with Ibu S.

Mel&Ibu1 And somehow two years turned into five, and that last year, I was a stay-at-home wife. A pregnant and puking one, but I was still home. And a surface friendship grew between two women into a deeper one…language, belief, and status bridged by the fact that in so many ways we were similar.

Really, we were both moms (well, I was a mama to be!) just looking for a friend.

And while I knew it was our last year in Indonesia, and she knew it too, we still took the moments to talk. To laugh. (Mostly over my language flubs.) 😉

We shared life.

And she became a dear friend.

And when it was time to go on that April morning in 2010, I didn’t hide the fact that saying goodbye to her broke my heart. And she didn’t hide it either.

And over the years…the ones when Mae was teeny tiny and growing up too quickly…I ached. Often, for this friend that I wanted so badly for my daughter to meet. I thought about what I’d tell her…because things went unsaid. I wished, for years, that I could have found the words to thank her for being one of the most important people to me during our time in Indonesia.

And God…well, He’s Good. So. Good. He provided a way for our family to return…all three of us…for a visit. While there were many people we wanted to see, Ibu and her family were toward the top of the list.

And this happened…and it was perfect. Oh, life is never perfect with a jet lagging three year-old, but seeing my friend again and watching her hug and love on our Mae is a memory I will hold close for the rest of my life. And when Maelie played princesses with her…oh, melt.

ibumae&mel
It was when we were talking at her house just three Saturdays ago that she told me something.

You see, all along I’d wanted to tell her that she was a dear friend…and someone who was treasured and loved, despite the distance and difficulty of communication. I even made her a necklace.

Teman, it said. Friend.

And then she spoke for me…she said she loved us and missed us. And I watched the tears well up in her eyes as she said it, her hand over her heart.

Ibu Mel, you are my family.

And it was at that moment, I knew. I’d known it all along, but then…well, I knew.

I knew that Indonesia was part of us…a piece so deeply imbedded into our hearts that it will never go away. Nor do we want it to.

And so we said our goodbyes with hugs and teary eyes and a few more pictures, and while it hurt to leave my sister behind, I did it knowing that I wasn’t just leaving a friend.

I was leaving family.

And family is forever, so I know we’ll be back.

So many of you have been asking for Indonesia stories, and you have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you. Honestly, it’s been an emotional time of processing so many good things, and it’s taken much longer than I thought it would to even find words. But thank you…for being here, for being patient with what’s going on in my heart, and for reading. There are many, many more stories to come. It may just take my entire life to tell them all, but I’m good with that.

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, Indonesia, Maelie, remembering, where I am

How Lucky I Am…

March 31, 2014 by Mel · 18 Comments

We’ve been back on U.S. soil for about a day, and already, jet lag is rearing its ugly head.

I’m not surprised…really. We’ve done this enough to know that it just happens when days and nights are completely flip flopped. I have to admit that I was hoping…just a little…that Mae might defy it all and sleep through the night. She made it until about 3 a.m. and was in bed by 4 this afternoon. I’ll just take it and hope she’ll make it a little longer each day. (Says the girl who took a four-hour nap at 3 p.m. Yeah.) 😉

Oh, where to start, where to start.

After a whirlwind two weeks, spent almost completely unplugged, it’s really hard to even know where to begin.

So, please forgive the broken thoughts and sentences and the randomness. I’m hoping you’ll see my heart through the words, and more importantly, the people.

My prayer in going back to Indonesia was that God would remind me of the good there.

Friends, He did it. Over and over. Through conversations, through memory-making, through adventures and walks and chats and visits. He gave the beauty I so desperately wanted to see, and the funny thing is that I didn’t even have to look very hard to find it.

I also wanted closure. I honestly thought we were going back, once more, so I could say goodbye.

And then my feet hit the ground in sweltering Jakarta, and I realized something before we even left the airport…that while I may say a lot of see-ya-laters to Indonesia, I never want it to be over.

This place, the people…they’re in my heart. I don’t want to say goodbye and just leave it all behind forever.

ibumae&mel

We also wanted our daughter to see this place…and even love it. And she did. She may have even told her daddy that she wanted to live there… Really, watching her embrace it all and take the adventures as they came was something that reminded me, again, of the beauty that can be found if we’ll just take the time to look for it. And it was kind of a secret dream that we’d get to be one of those families on a motorbike, just once. Granted, we’re about twelve kids from breaking the record, but I’ll take it. I love this pic. (And, yes, we really did drive around like this…kind of a lot.)

IndoMotor

God gave me a gift almost immediately upon our return in my friend, Becky. She and I picked up a friendship, one that had gone almost FIVE years without a visit, exactly where it left off. There were motorbike adventures our first morning, more coffees and talks than I can even count, early morning walks, times spent together that were good for both of our hearts. Oh, I love this beautiful woman who is living out her calling. And I count her as one of my dearest friends, even if twelve time zones separate us.

beckyandmel1 P.S. Someday I’ll tell you the story of why we took this pic where we did…it may or may not be in the book. 😉

And with Becky comes her wonderful hubby and this sweet little boy. Becky said it best…We wanted our kids to like each other. We had no idea they would love each other so much. Mae and M had two weeks of play dates and pool times and friendship-building, even though they’re young. What a gift…and I have to whisper something to you. One of the hardest things on Friday, as we got ready to leave, was watching the two of them say goodbye. They both cried, and this mama wept. My daughter is learning at such a young age how much it hurts to say goodbye.

MaelieAndM

And, yet, we choose to open ourselves to the goodbyes because we want this kind of life for her…the kind that sees beyond her own backyard and embraces the world and the beauty it holds.

There were so many people who reached out to us during our time in Indo, making time for coffee (I seriously drank more coffee in the last two weeks than I have in my entire life.), dinner, hugs, chats, adventures. Sharing life with these precious friends is a gift, and I’ll take it and breathe thanks, even if it means that years separate visits.

lilybecky&mel

We stayed with some wonderful friends and so loved reconnecting with them. One of our favorite days was spent with them…they took us to the angklung show, something Tobin and I had experienced several times and were thrilled that Mae got to see. She even got to dance at the end of the show with a sweet girl, the one who beat out her friends for the chance to dance with our girl. That blessed this mama’s heart, too.

AngklungDance

The time we spent in Indo flew…and there are stories, lots of them, to share. Stories from airports, stories from surfing, stories from pausing to breathe and reflect. As they start to spill out, I’ll post them…but Rome wasn’t built in a day, and all that’s going on in my heart feels about like the size of Italy. 😉

As we were flying home yesterday (or Friday, or whenever because, really, the days are all mushed together right now) I was just talking to God. It was a conversation I wish I could have recorded because I’m not sure of all I said, but even just a day or so later, I’m already seeing how pieces of that conversation are revealing what’s next for me and what He wants. And those plans…while they don’t look at all like what I thought they would…well, I think they might be even better.

On our last night in Indonesia, many of our sweet friends came together to love us, and as we squeezed in, trying to get one photo of all of us together, I was reminded of this.

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye this hard.
–A.A. Milne

IndoDinnerGroup

For all of the heartache moments and streaming tears, for all of the wishing and wanting to have it all in one place, for all of the blasted tissues I went through on this trip…

I would do it all again.

I would open myself to the reality that my life will always be a series of loving two worlds…and always missing one.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Selamat tinggal, Indonesia…but just until next time.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, family, friends, Indonesia, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

When I Really Should Finish Packing…

March 14, 2014 by Mel · 6 Comments

…and because I’ve got one, uber-messy, suitcase wide open on the bed…I’m gonna blog instead. 😉

Hey, I’ve got five hours before we leave for the airport. It’s. ALL. good.

And so here I sit…on the hallway floor, leaning against the wall, out of sight of messes and reminders of what I should be doing, and instead…

Letting you know what’s really on my heart. It’s been awhile.

Tonight the three of us are headed out, just one layover and 31 1/2ish hours separating us from a place that holds a piece of my heart.

It hasn’t always been the pretty piece of my heart…but it’s an important one.

The reasons we decided to go back for a visit to Indo are really too numerous to count.

To visit friends and our beloved pembantu.

To take our daughter there so she can see it and know what Indonesia actually is.

To rebel against this ridiculous winter we’ve had. (Ok, I just had to throw that in…not really. Tickets were purchased mostly before the freezing, too-much-snow, madness began.) 😉 I will fully admit that Bali is included in our agenda for a few days, though.

But the real reason…and one that went so unspoken in our house for so long…is this.

We need closure.

Almost four years later, there’s something missing.

I think a lot of it comes down to the way things ended. Pregnancy, leaving the country separately, so many unknowns, a hard last year…it was just time.

And while my 32-weeks-pregnant body couldn’t exactly run out of Indonesia, I sure did my best.

These last years have provided so much time for reflection. For processing. And, yes, for writing.

There is currently a rough draft of a book that I hope and pray will see the shelves of a bookstore near you soon. 😉

But that book…it touches the good memories. A few difficult, but mostly the good. The funny. The ones that are easy to share.

The truth? Is that there’s a lot more that needs to be added…but before I can go there, I need to go back.

I don’t expect any deep, philosophical conversations about the time we spent there to happen. Nor do I really think that going back that far and revisiting hurts is a good way to spend our limited days. But I do think, if for no other reason, my feet need to touch Indonesian soil again so I can say a proper goodbye.

The kind that says, thank you. Thank you for all you meant to me. Not, thank you for giving me so many reasons to want to leave.

My heart is a bit raw when I think of leaving our lives here for two weeks to go back…and yet, I know there is so much good waiting for us. The smiles and hugs and hearts of people who mean so much, the beautiful green and mountains, reminding me of my Creator and the One Who loves us completely. The conversations I can’t wait to have over coffee. (Indonesia makes some gooooood coffee.) And, yes, the outlet shopping. (Oh, come on. You know me, right?) 😉

All of those are so worth it, too.

So I guess, in all of this rambling and putting off the packing, I’m letting you all know that I have no idea what the next two weeks look like.

I know they don’t include a lot of blogging or social media. Or texting. Or, really, being connected too often.

In fact, my time away looks just like that. Away.

Time to breathe and enjoy the moments surrounding me with my precious husband and daughter. It’s truly a gift, and I plan on embracing it.

So if you don’t hear from me, don’t worry.

And if you miss my words, know that I’m busy living the moments so I can tell you the stories later.

I love you all and am so grateful you are part of my journey.

Now, back to packing…though, really. Wouldn’t it be awesome if the suitcases could actually pack themselves?!

See you again soon.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, encouragement, friends, Indonesia, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, travel, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Coffee For Your Heart: I’ve Got Joy

February 19, 2014 by Mel · 22 Comments

Just call me Mom of the Year.

Really. I may even sport a sash today, declaring it to the world. (Or, at least my town.) 😉

Blame it on the lingering, flu-like whatever I’ve been fighting, the distractions that come with some commitments, the crazy of chasing a three year-old all day, or the fact that I’m just Mel.

Probably all of them are to blame a little yesterday.

It’s bad enough that I missed her Valentine party last week…more on that some other day. Ahem. 😉 AND that I walked into her PK room just in time to hear her tell her teacher, But I don’t haaaaave a mommy {here}!

Dagger to the heart. Vow to never mess up so badly again.

Enter Tuesday.

Bless my heart, I got her to school on time, even a few minutes early. I went home, made some coffee, got a few things done. Definitely looking like it’s gonna be a good day.

Pick her up right at 11:00. Perfect.

Go home. Give both of us a chance to rest and hopefully kick the rest of the flu nastiness.

Mae has her pb&j…and I hear my phone go. A text.

Are you guys coming to lunch? We miss you!

Stink.

Oh, stink.

Stink, stink, stink.

I forgot.

HOW did I forget?

Special lunch for sweet little three and four year olds at a fun restaurant not too far away. I prepaid. I. Even. Set. A. Reminder.

And I forgot.

I was almost in tears when I told Mae that I’d forgotten. We quickly put our coats on and headed out to catch the end of it, but I was afraid she’d missed the fun.

I told her I was sorry, and she squeezed my hand.

It’s ok, mommy. I still love you. We’ll have fun!

Melt. Me.

Oh. Oh, how often I focus on the times when I mess up. (I kind of do it often. But still.)

But this little girl…she looks at the good…she finds the joy.

JOY. She’s got it.

She didn’t see yesterday as a Mommy-messed-up, day. She saw it as an I-get-to-go-hang-out-with-my-friends, day.

She saw the joy in the moment…and she’s reminding me to do the same.

Joy…it’s found in so many moments. So many.

My Father’s love for me. Promises from His Word. Sweet, good-morning hugs from my favorite toddler. Happy doggies panting in excitement to see me. A kiss from my hubby. Bowling with my girl. A fun Valentine’s dinner with friends. A fresh pot of coffee to make those six a.m.’s just a bit more bearable. A sweet voxer thread from my team of dreaming sisters. A heart-and-coffee chat with a dear friend. Prayers. Uplifting words, verses. Writing. Singing. Playing handbells. A long, not-too-early, morning run. Reconnecting with an old friend. Anticipating a long-awaited, other-side-of-the-world, reunion. Beach trips and surfing. Laughter. Rainy season memories. Family. Being home. An amazing neighborhood. Community. Church. Bible Study. Learning to love others.

I could keep going for a long, long time. There are so many things that bring joy…because the Giver of that joy?

Well, He’s Good.

And this little girl…well, she is one of my biggest JOYS.

And she might have even seen me as Mom of the Year yesterday, too.

Do you think I could get her to make me a sash? 😉

What brings you joy today?

**************************

I love my sweet friend, Holley‘s, new link-up! Her Coffee For Your Heart: 2014 Encouragement Challenge is just what it sounds like. Think of Wednesdays as that day where I just share some encouragement…and you can pretend that we’re sitting at a table over coffee, just sharing life. Sounds like a great way to spend Wednesdays in this space. I hope you’ll hop over and join us!

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, encouragement, family, friends, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Coffee For Your Heart: You’re Not Alone

January 29, 2014 by Mel · 41 Comments

Yesterday morning was not my favorite.

Days that involve trips to the Women’s Health Center at a nearby hospital for follow up on what seems to be a never-ending issue don’t generally rank up there at the top.

To say I was in a bad mood might just be scratching the surface.

And even Monday was just not good.

It didn’t help that I was cold because…well, because I live in the U.S. (Is everyone here freezing their tails off? Pretty sure.) I was moody because I got to think all day about going to the doctor first thing Tuesday morning. I was snippy with my hubby and in a horrible mood when I went to work out with friends that night. (Really, I probably should have just stayed home and gone to bed.)

Honestly…I just felt so alone. It’s not like you can shoot into facebook-land a status like, Getting a mammo tomorrow…please pray?

Well, maybe some people would. No judgment on my end, but for me, it just seems too personal. (And, yet, here I write it on my blog.) 😉

But I did mention it to a few people, and they prayed for me. I felt a little better by the time I went to bed Monday night.

But then Tuesday morning came, and I felt defeated.

I put off getting up until the last possible second. My stomach was in knots and my mind was wandering to places it shouldn’t go. But I made myself put one foot in front of the other, and I even put on makeup.

And as I was applying the eyeliner, I heard my Voxer beep at me. It was a sweet, dreaming sister sending a message to let me know she was praying.

I sent a quick reply back, and my phone beeped again.

A text. Praying for you this morning. This time from a sweet friend.

I’m not alone. I’m not…the promise that came to my mind.

Somehow I made it to the appointment with time to spare. (Thankful for back roads.)

My technician was about the sweetest woman I’ve ever met in my life…so compassionate and caring. He knew I needed her.

And while the process wasn’t pleasant, it was the quickest mammogram I’ve had yet. In less than an hour, I was on my way home…No changes. See you in a year. (Which has now been switched to six months, but that’s for another day.)

(Still) Praise. Jesus.

I stopped at Starbucks for a drip brew with white chocolate to celebrate.

I got to send a few texts to friends…Things look ok…so thankful.

And looking back now brings tears to my eyes. What I had to do yesterday was almost my least favorite thing ever…and, yet, my Father met me in the most tangible way. With sweet, little reminders that I’m not on my own here…because I know that, but it’s always nice to be reminded.

He’s given me a community of women…friends, sisters…to walk this journey with.

Some days are full of sunshine and we laugh, joke, and share smiley faces.

Other days…well, they’re hard. There’s more rain than there is sunshine and we pass the (sometimes virtual) tissue box around the table and squeeze each others’ hands as we whisper prayers.

But we’re still not alone, and we cling to that.

I don’t know where you are today, friend, but know this. You’re not alone.

He’s got you, and so does this community. Don’t be afraid to grab a hand and join in…because we’re here.

**************************

Filed Under: community, encouragement, friends, just life, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Visit

January 23, 2014 by Mel · 24 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

Today’s prompt: Visit

I can’t believe it’s already been almost four years.

Four years since I clung to him at the airport, seven-month-preggo belly creating distance between our embrace, tears staining my cheeks as I released his hand and stumbled toward immigration alone.

Four years since I said goodbye.

Oh, not to him. He followed me six weeks later, after he’d completed his commitment to the school and just in time for the birth of our sweet Mae.

No, it’s been almost four years since I said goodbye to my other home…the one on the opposite side of the world.

Time flies. Like a jumbo jet across the Pacific…and I have been waiting for the day when we can board one again for a visit.

There have been many, many days when life here…the life we know and love now…has completely enveloped me. He has poured His blessings on, and we have gratefully accepted them. This is a good place, one I’m So. Very. Blessed. to call my home.

But there have also been the days when my heart longs to Visit. To go back and hug the people I love who live so far away, those I said goodbye to as tears brimmed and hearts ached.

And a couple weeks ago, we bought tickets!!!!!!

Can I throw in a late-night, happy dance? I just think one belongs here. 😉

It still feels surreal that, in a short 57 days, (yikes!) the three of us will board a plane. And after a stop in Qatar (who knew? I had to look it up on a map…), our plane will land in Jakarta, and my feet will, once again, step down on Indonesian soil, the dirt happily making its way between my flip-flop clad toes. (In March…be jealous. Very jealous.) 😉

There will be a beach trip, hopefully a little surfing, some BFF time, an exploration of all-things outlet shopping…but mostly?

There will be time to love people…those people I have missed so much that my heart aches over the distance that spans these two countries.

I can’t wait to visit.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, friends, Indonesia, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, travel, where I am

You Are Four

Five-Minute Friday: Hands

A Lesson from Qatar + A Bucket List

On Community and Sisters

She Called Me Family

How Lucky I Am…

When I Really Should Finish Packing…

Coffee For Your Heart: I’ve Got Joy

Coffee For Your Heart: You’re Not Alone

Five-Minute Friday: Visit

Mel

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