Monday Scatter

February 4, 2013 by · 2 Comments

Do you ever have those scatterbrained days?

I started off with a plan for this glorious day called Monday. I really did.

It is so against my personality type to make a to-do list, but I actually scribble one out every Monday (on crazy paper that’s about nine different colors ;)) and add to it as the week goes on. This morning I was actually pretty motivated, but I had such a hard time focusing.

While Maelie ate her breakfast, I was planning to send out an e-mail to my Bible study. (That didn’t happen until much later.)

Then, while she was painting or doing puzzles, I was going to have some quiet(er) time…catching up on a study I’m doing and reading some Psalms. Instead, I felt guilty that I hadn’t shoveled yet and the poor mailman (or woman) would have to tromp through four-ish inches of fluffy snow…and so I took Maelie outside to “play” at 8:30 a.m. :) She had fun in the snow and “helped” me shovel, which only made everything take longer, but it’s about the memories, right? And those were most definitely made. 😉

This afternoon was more of the same. I went to clean the kitchen and got sidetracked by a basket of laundry that needed folding. I pulled out the vacuum, and it sat in the living room for two hours before I actually used it.

Just call me incredibly scattered today. Oy…

Even tonight…I sat down to finally write after my usual, Monday night workout, and I got distracted by this site. Oh, don’t misunderstand me…I think it’s fantastic to use your smarts to donate rice to help feed the hungry. And…it was a good reason to brush up on my world geography. 😉

But, still…did I actually do what I intended? Um, nope…well, not til at least 10:30 p.m.

I guess some days are just like that…all over the place.

I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting on Friday’s post.

I couldn’t believe how hard it was to publish that.

Ever the non-rule-follower, I actually do follow the rules for Five-Minute Friday, and after my five minutes of writing were done, I saved the draft, plopped on the couch next to my hubby…and cried. I could have not pushed the publish button, I guess…I was caught in this strange place of wanting to know how honest I should/could/wanted to be.

Not everything needs to be shared, ya know? And I wasn’t sure I wanted to share all of that. I don’t feel I owe any of my readers an explanation for my obvious openness…it’s certainly not the first time I’ve bared my soul. 😉 But it was a hard post to put out into the blogosphere.

The funny thing? Was that I felt free after I published it. Almost as if God said, Ok, Mel…you know what you need to do, so just do it. Trust Me. Actually, pretty sure He did…and has been saying it for awhile. :)

And that makes me smile. It’s a good place to land after a scattered day. Here’s hoping for a little more focus tomorrow. :)

Sig

Filed Under: barefoot, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, random, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Afraid

February 1, 2013 by · 20 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Afraid

Really? Really? Do we have to talk about fear today of all days?

Gotta admit that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the FMF topic for today.

Being the emotional worrier that I am, I very much think about the what if’s of life a little too frequently. Before I make a decision…or even get to the point where I might be ready to make a decision…a thousand of these must be considered.

This mama heart…the one that spends her days with the most wonderful little toddler girlie…has a very afraid heart when it comes to the thought of more kids. Oh, it’s been on our minds and in our hearts for a while, for those of you who have wondered.

Gotta be honest, though, and admit how scary that is for me. Babies don’t come easily for me and T. Pregnancy struggles and loss before Maelie were hard enough. I can’t imagine them after.

This fear…this time of truly being afraid…has ruled so much of where my heart is when it comes to more.

Part of me wants to never again subject myself to the pain of loss, while the other part feels a loss for the thought of never trying to have more.

I’m afraid…I am. In some ways, it’s very much like being afraid of the dark…not knowing what ‘s out there. Letting my mind wonder…and not allowing my heart to trust. And in this kind of dark, my Father whispers. I like His whispers because they’re loud and clear. Put Your trust in Me. You don’t need to be afraid.

And so…we trust. Pray for us?

When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3 (NIV)

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Five Minute Friday, Maelie, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Again

January 25, 2013 by · 8 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Again

I pick her up by her armpits and swing her high in the air.

The goal is as high as my muscles can handle…and probably even more to achieve the loudest, most exuberant, overjoyed, squeal possible.

It’s a new game we started about a month ago, and she really can’t get enough of it.

When I’ve given her a few good swings and gotten those little feet way up over my head, I give my muscles a break.

But this sweet, two-year old girl? Doesn’t always understand the word, rest. :)

Again! Again! More, mommy!

If my muscles aren’t completely dying, I’ll usually indulge her pleas a few more times before I need her to give me an honest break.

Even though she’ll still beg me to swing her up into the air again.

One more time. Always one more time. 😉

Sometimes I think about my relationship with God and how I am such the same way with Him.

He asks worship. A life of obedience. Simple praise.

He doesn’t ask for it once…He asks for it Again. And Again. And Again.

As He should.

And often…I will excuse myself with the simple fact that I’m too tired to read my Bible and spend quality time with Him…the kind that has been lacking during my busy day. It’s ok to miss today, I tell myself. I’ll do better tomorrow.

But it isn’t a once, whenever-I-feel-like-it kind of thing…It’s. Daily. Obedience. Worship. Praise.

It’s an again and again and again thing…regardless of how I’m feeling, regardless of my circumstances.

Father, I pray I’ll do better. Today.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Cherished

January 18, 2013 by · 14 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Cherished

Buried up to what felt like my neck in dirty dishes this afternoon, I sighed as I looked down into the sink to see several of Maelie’s play dishes from her Little Tykes kitchen.

Sigh again.

A moment of frustration for me definitely…I completely wanted to just sit down. Fighting the flu/sinus/cold stuff going around, doing anything extra wasn’t really on my agenda for the day.

But since her dishes were already in the sink…along with the rest of the ones that were actually dirty, well…there was no choice.

So I held in my impatience and washed her dishes…letting them dry in the draining rack.

Oh, thank you, Mommy. Thank you for washing my dishes!

Those few words uttered from my daughter just melted my heart into a puddle. By taking the time to let my daughter know that I would make what was important to her important to me, she knew that she was cherished.

And she is…so completely cherished…I just sometimes forget to show her that.

I love how my Father does the same thing for me…for all of His children. (Well, minus the frustration and impatience part. ;))

He sees what is important to us, what we hold dear…and He cares for us because we’re cherished in His eyes.

Today was a moment of humility for this mama…I realized that I so easily get wrapped up in my own thoughts and desires and life…and I forget about the little girl running around at my feet…the one who is already growing up way too quickly.

May I take each and every opportunity I am given to let her know she is cherished.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Dive

January 11, 2013 by · 4 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Dive

Ok, I just gotta laugh here.

Like, really.

Because I know a lot of you think of me as somewhat athletic…no sarcasm here…I’m a runner, and I can hold my own in a volleyball match or a basketball game.

But you should have seen me try to learn how to dive.

Like, physically dive. Into-a-pool dive.

It was a riot. 😀

I was your typical eight-or-nineish-year-old girl who hung out with her best friends at the pool every day during the summer. (I heart small towns for that very reason.)

Around that age, diving became the cool thing…and what’s not to love? Springing off the diving board, sailing through the air, and plunging headfirst into the cool water?

I so wanted that to be me.

And. It. SOOOOOOO. Wasn’t.

Oh, I was a klutz. For most of that summer, I just couldn’t figure it out.

I’d bend over with my arms outstretched over my head and jump.

Every time, without fail, I’d splish splash into a belly-flop worth of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

I would laugh at myself because that’s just me, but secretly, I wanted to execute the perfect dive so badly.

What a metaphor for life, really.

There are so many dreams and desires we hold dear and wish deeply that they will come true.

We try and try and put our best possible effort forward, and they still don’t end up looking like we wish they would.

Often, though they will eventually happen, there are challenges and flubs along the journey that complicate it. Or, maybe, build character.

And so when I dove headfirst into writing this book, I think somewhere inside I knew it would be much like I described learning how to actually dive…I’m sure there will be moments, but it will happen…when the time is right and when God says, Now. 

Until then, I just keep trying. Just keep doing what I’m doing and trusting Him.

Just keep writing those paragraphs and telling those stories. :)

And since I know you’re wondering, I can now execute a flawless dive. Maybe I should try for the Olympics next?

:)

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, friends, remembering, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Opportunity

January 4, 2013 by · 7 Comments

It’s back! (insert slightly-cheesy, but oh-so-HAPPY grin)

😀

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Opportunity

Each day is a new opportunity, especially with a sweet, sometimes-more-than-slightly-mischievous, toddler running around at my feet.

She is a sponge…and she soaks it all up, whether I want that for her or not.

And, together, we try to take each opportunity that comes our way for learning, teaching, changing, growing.

But lately, well…she’s two.

Those five previously written words probably speak volumes to most of you. 😉

She’s two, and sometimes taking opportunities is…hard.

That temper tantrum is often easier to ignore than to correct, and the same goes for other various misbehaving moments that generally occur within a normal day.

Often, rather than taking the opportunity to show her what she should be doing, I ignore or use the dreaded time-out…forgetting that those little eyes are watching me. Learning.

Too much, too quickly.

And then I stop and remember…

The greatest opportunities often come from the greatest challenges, not from the easiest ones.

On the easy days, I coast…and there’s no reason to go outside of my limits to reach for something else.

It’s on those difficult, sometimes-just-plain-hard, days that the biggest opportunities…for blessing, for sharpening, for growth…arise.

And so I stop in my tracks as I watch her getting frustrated again over something that seems small and insignificant to me.

But not necessarily to her.

I kneel down on her level, grasp her hands, look into her eyes, and take the opportunity to show her that I love her and that I’m on her side.

And that I always will be.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Wonder

November 30, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Wonder

Sometimes I wish I could see life through the eyes of my daughter.

Because, to her, everything is wonder.

She walks outside and sees a blanket of snow covering the ground, and there is nothing more magical.

She randomly stops whatever activity she is doing, stands up and spins…around and around, arms full-on-stretched. Embracing the fullness of life around her…simply because she can.

We’ll be out for a walk in the neighborhood, and she’ll break into her toddler-sprint. Nowhere to go, just simply taking her boundless energy and letting herself fly because, well, why not?

Or, tonight, we were at a Christmas tree lighting. Happy choir music, pretty lights, people all around…and she decides to do backflips.

Hers is a world filled with wonder.

At times, I’m jealous. A little.

It feels like when I grew up (sorta, anyway!) I lost my sense of finding the wonder in all that surrounds me.

I forget that the beauty outside my window screams of my Creator.

I forget that the beautiful girl I am so incredibly privileged to spend my days with is wonder.

And in the hustle and bustle and busy and crazy of all that surrounds Christmas, I sometimes forget about the

True Wonder.

That baby who, so long ago, was born in a stable.

He was the picture of wonder that would captivate the world…and change the hearts and lives of multitudes…

One of those being me.

May I always, always remember that wonder…and pass it on to my daughter, too.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Thank You

November 23, 2012 by · 4 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mamafor Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Thank You

Some days the thanks come so easily.

And on those days it’s often the most simple things that bring the most gratitude.

My family. Being surrounded by my hubby and my daughter and my two doggie boys. Knowing that there is love exploding in our house. ‘Tis perfect…for me. :)

My friends. Those who don’t always get me but love me despite that and are Jesus to me anyway, even if I’m having a not-so-lovable day.

Today…the blessing of a snowy outside but a blanket and slippers and legwarmers (lovin’ them!) and time to sit down to write words while my girlie watches Snow White.

Such simple blessings, but the Giver of them knows my needs…and does just that. Gives them.

Some days the thanks don’t come as easily. Disappointments, hurts, and emotions cloud what I want to be reflected in my heart, and I forget to look beyond them to say a simple thanks.

Because there are so many reason to say thank you to Him for all He has done. It certainly can’t be in five minutes, but I’m thankful that despite what may not come out in words for others to know, He knows the thanks in my heart, and I pray that those sometimes-whispers will speak more loudly than anything I could write or speak.

I am loved, I am forgiven, I am secure, I am His. I am surrounded by Love, washed in His grace, forever His daughter.

And those things are enough to make my heart scream, Thank You, for the rest of my days.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, Five Minute Friday, friends, just life, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Stay

November 16, 2012 by · 4 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Stay

I’ve always been pretty cool with going places.

When the opportunity came up during my junior year of college to spend a month in Peru, I jumped at the chance.

And that was only the beginning.

Mission trips led to more of the same and eventually a long-term commitment of five years in Indonesia. Be still my heart, I still ache over missing it.

It seems like each event leading up to the now for us has always involved an obedience in being willing to go. And we were always willing to do just that.

So moving here…was different.

The way He brought us here was equally different.

We knew, this time, that it was time to dig those roots down. Maybe not permanently but definitely for an extended amount of time.

That was almost two and a half years ago. Golly, time flies!

And somewhere in all of the moving out of the transitory state of life and into something more stable, that little word crept into our lives and settled into our hearts.

Stay.

We have always had hearts to go. To tell. To love. To reach.

And now He has asked something different of us but no less important.

I believe my Father is teaching, and has yet to still teach, us some of the greatest lessons in obedience as we learn the contentment that comes from being satisfied in Him and in where He has placed us.

And the Truth of it is that nothing has really changed. He still wants us to Tell. Love. Reach.

But this time He wants us to Stay.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, Five Minute Friday, Indonesia, just life, what I'm learning, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Quiet

November 9, 2012 by · 6 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Quiet

Tonight I took my girl on a “date”, and we went to a movie night for preK-junior high students.

It was free, it was our time together, there were lots of great friends to hang out with.

But I noticed something as the movie started.

There were So. Many. People.

So. Much. Chaos.

SO. MUCH. NOISE.

As time went by, it became clear that it was going to be impossible to pick up on any kind of story line much less actually watch the movie. We lasted maybe halfway through the movie before she became restless and it was clearly time to go.

There was just so much noise, it didn’t work.

I’m not angry or upset. It was fun, for the most part. But, watch the movie?

We did not.

I thought about that during the drive home while my overly-tired daughter, for once, sat quietly in her seat, fighting sleep.

About how I often live my moments and my days in the chaotic instead of the quiet.

I almost-purposely surround myself with things that keep me busy and going, determined that I won’t need to think if I don’t stop and be still.

There ARE those quiet moments, though.

The ones when He almost forces stillness and silence. Perhaps because He wants me to listen?

I think so. No, I know so.

And I always walk away from those moments of quiet with something. A piece of Truth. An encouraged heart. A smile in the reminder of His goodness. A glimpse of Grace.

And as I take those steps from the moment, ready to dive headfirst back into the chaos of life, and there’s nothing wrong with that sometimes, may I always remember

that He moves deepest in the quiet.

May I always be willing to stop and listen.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: Five Minute Friday, friends, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am
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