Behind the Scenes: Counting Gifts

It’s November, and I looooooove November.

:)

It’s like that perfect, crunchy-leaf, apple-spicy-smelling, permission-to-drink-coffee-like-crazy, time of year.

Plus, I like pie almost as much as cake, and Thanksgiving=pie, but we’ll talk about that another week. 😉

Mostly I just like all that the season holds…time to be extra-intentional about giving thanks, the anticipation of celebrating the birth of our Savior, watching the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of my sweet girl, snowman-building, Christmas music and church services, sweaters and scarves, cookies…

So much to love and look forward to. :)

Honestly, this has been a challenging season. Not a bad one. It just looks…different. Much different than I’d pictured a year ago. I thought our family would look different by now. I thought we’d feel more settled into life and ready to embrace the next chapter and possibly the next family member, too.

But that’s not where we are right now. 

And that’s ok, most of the time. We’re (still) learning how to settle. :) (Maybe I’ll write more on that later.) We’re enjoying the blessings of now, and there are so many.

But I do have those moments, and once in awhile, I catch myself being less than thankful…especially on nights when I know there’s no little one growing in me and that there probably won’t be anytime soon.

And, yet, it doesn’t take much, really. Much to be thankful by just looking around me.

And by looking at this girl.

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She was my candy-lovin’ Belle on Halloween, but every day, she’s my sweetie. (And, good golly, she looks about TEN here. Oy…) She is joy and sunshine and a gift all wrapped up in something more beautiful than I ever could have even dreamed. And I know I share that often here, but sometimes…

Well, sometimes it’s just good to give thanks for those gifts who dance with me every day…those that bless me so much more than I can ever really express in words.

Mae’s been sick this week…a little fever, a lot of runny nose and coughing, and yesterday all she wanted was snuggles. And as I cuddled up to her for some story-reading, she leaned her head in close to my heart and whispered, I love you, Mommy. We are best girls.

Oh, bless. I melted all over the couch, I’m sure.

I look at her and I think back over the almost-three-and-a-half years we’ve had with this girl, and that’s just about all I need to whisper thanks and praise about 10,000 times. Or more.

Friends, He is so Good.

And I’m so thankful…for so, so many things.

I’m counting my gifts today. And every day…join me? :)

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

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Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

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I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her. 

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

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Behind the Scenes: About a Friend

Sometimes I worry about the words I write…not so much what other people think of them, although that happens sometimes.

I mostly worry about them when I’m writing about someone…because I want my words to give a voice and a true reflection of what that person means to me.

Or, to us.

So today I’m pulling out the tissues…just because I know I’m going to need them…and telling you a story.

One that’s worth telling.

It’s about a friend.

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There are a lot of titles that this picture could have.

Mae’s First Day of School.

Maelie and Her Buddy From Across the Street Showing Off Their New Backpacks.

Two Days Before Brenton Left For College.

All of the above…

When we moved here three years ago, God knew what He was doing.

We didn’t.

We didn’t know north from south (I still don’t), left from right (especially when driving), or where to even begin looking for a house in this brand new state. (And, honestly, one I’d never imagined living in.)

Almost by accident, we stumbled on a Craigslist ad for a two-story, blue house in C’ville.

I actually told my husband I wasn’t interested in seeing it.

Thankfully, he insisted we look anyway.

Long story short, we moved in six days later…into a house in a neighborhood and town where we knew not a soul…

But we hoped it would become home, and it did.

And there are so many aspects that have helped make this place home, but today, this is about some special friends.

You see, there’s a family across the street…and it didn’t take long for us to connect with them. (Potentially because we always needed help moving the furniture we were buying? 😉 Kidding, kidding…)

No, we connected with Jonny, Kris, and their son, Brenton, within the first few weeks…and soon they weren’t just our neighbors; they had become our friends.

At the time, Brenton was fifteen and just a cool, high school sophomore. (No sarcasm here…we think he was pretty cool. :)) We’d see him here or there, and he would stop to talk to us sometimes.

He didn’t really connect with Maelie at the beginning, but that’s not a surprise. I don’t know many fifteen year old boys who make it a point to sit down on the floor and try to entertain a baby girl.

But around the time Mae turned one, Brenton started talking to her and playing with her more. One night his family came over for dinner, and she sat on his lap for a long time.

It wasn’t long before she was saying his name.

And a few months later, we had her bedroom windows open, which faced their house. She saw him come home from work and yelled as he was getting out of his car.

Brenton!

To her surprise?

Maelie!

Brenton!

Maelie!

It continued back and forth as he stood on their front porch and she pressed her nose against the screen in her window.

And that’s what continued for the next two years…little moments like that.

He’d come over and see her when she was playing outside.

Once they “shoveled” the sidewalk together.

She pushed him on the swing (really) the day he graduated from high school.

Little moments, nothing huge…but things that made an impact.

It’s no secret that Brenton became someone that Maelie really loves…and someone we love, too.

He was a high school student, busy with homework and friends and music, work and college searches. He didn’t have to take the time for a little girl…and honestly, no one would have blamed him if he didn’t.

But he did.

And he made a difference in her life…and ours, too.

This picture was taken last week, on Mae’s first day of PK3 and two days before Brenton left for college.

The two mamas behind their iPhones were both a little weepy for similar, but at the same time different, reasons…because seasons change.

Just like it was time for Mae to begin school (even if it’s just a few hours a week), it was time for Brenton to go off to college.

We said goodbye to him the next day, and the day after that, he left.

Mae is little and she doesn’t understand goodbyes yet…but I know she will miss him.

In fact, just a week ago, she looked at me. Mommy? Brenton’s my hero. And I think there’s some truth to that statement that she might not understand just yet.

Today I tear up when I look at this picture, but I know it’s one we’ll keep forever.

Thank you, Brenton, for taking the time to be part of Maelie’s life…it means more to us than you will ever know.

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It’s Tuesday and time for one of my favorite link ups over at my friend, Crystal’s space.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

If you’ve got some time today, hop over for the sweet and funny, the silly and sappy, and sometimes the tear-jerky stories that happen behind the camera lens. They’re told by some of my favorite writers and friends…and their words will make your day. :)

crystalstine.me

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Five-Minute Friday: Small

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Small

Ok, a confession?

In this great, big, bloggy world…I sometimes feel so very small.

Tiny .

And often insignificant.

For almost two years, I wrote just to write…and while it was good, there was always that part of me that wished for a community, the kind that would read my words and invite me to read theirs.

I’m not even really sure how it happened, but one day that changed, and suddenly there was this beautiful and amazing community surrounding me.

It would take much longer than my five minutes to list them all, but they surrounded me with their hearts and words and prayers…and these beautiful ladies have become my family, though I’ve met very, very few of them in real life.

And it isn’t that I became big once I meant them.

It’s just that God used each of my sisters to remind me that I am a small part of it all…but an important part.

All of us…

We each have a voice, and that voice matters.

It may not be one that shouts from rooftops, gets a thousand retweets a day, or that many comments, either.

But it’s still important, and He can still use it to reflect His glory. 

Father, thank you that you can work through the small and insignificant…

Thank you that, despite me, you still choose to use me and my voice.

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Five Minute Friday

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Five-Minute Friday: Story

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Story

Messy.

Ugly.

Unloved.

Unwanted.

For years, this is how I thought my story would end up.

For years, I lived with the belief that I was these things.

Oh, how wrong I was.

You see, He was using those moments, those tears to write my story.

He took the ugly pieces, the messy ones, the ones that made me feel like I had no place at all…and He wove them together into something I could have never pieced together on my own.

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He gave me a man (the one I celebrate 11 years with on Saturday!) to love me and take care of me.

He gave us a sweet, precious, gift of a daughter.

He gave us community and family and friends…a place for our story to be written.

A place to belong.

He’s led us step by step…sometimes with just enough light for the next step, but always leading.

My Father?

He’s the best author.

Because He can take any story…any storyand turn it into a beautiful one.

And no matter how long this chapter is, or where the next one lies, I know something.

I know that it will be good because He is Good.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

A Wall to a Foundation: A Guest Post

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I was never that girl…

…the one invited to sleepovers and parties, the one who had boys lining up for her, the one who was beautiful and had the latest, most perfectly-tight-rolled, Guess Jeans or Keds with the Real. Blue. Tag. on the back of them.

Gotta love the 90’s. 😉

Life in a public school was difficult and so was feeling like I had that group of friends who understood me and had my back.

I remember that day in freshman choir when I realized just how much I wasn’t accepted.

She stood behind me in our second soprano section of singers and kicked the back of knees.

Over and over.

For fun.

I’d always known she was mean, but this seemed like a new low, even for her…and when I turned around with tears in my eyes, she laughed.

The other girls joined her.

And the bricks?

Well, I started to build with them…

Please click here to read the rest of my post, A Wall to a Foundation.

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Today I’m so excited to be guest posting at my dear friend’s space.

Christine is one of my God-Sized Dream sisters, a powerful prayer warrior, and an inspiring dreamer. She writes at Living Joel 2:25, and I was so excited when she asked if I’d like to be part of her Rebuilding the Walls blog series! Please stop by and check out her space…I know you’ll leave inspired and encouraged. :)

Thanks for reading today, sweet friends!

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Behind the Scenes: Sammy

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Aaaahhhh, Sammy.

Meet one of my two “boys.” :)

And behind this picture…more stories than I can possibly begin to tell you.

I could tell you that the reason we have him is because he and I fell in love one night in a pet shop in Bandung, Indonesia and how I had to take him home in a taxi…and how the taxi driver charged me double for the simple reason that he didn’t like dogs and he could.

I could tell you about the utter heartbreak we experienced when he was stolen from us and missing for six days…and how we paid a ransom, literally, to get him back. (That story is in the book… ;))

But today, I’m just going to tell a bit of the silly and sweet of this crazy, lovable, completely loyal pooch named Sammy.

We tell people that he is our Indonesian dog, which is true. Andre is from America, Sammy is from Indonesia

and I kind of think it’s cute that it ended up that way.

Sammy has been, from day one, all kinds of mischievous and loyal and ornery and loving, rolled up into one, big, lion-ish golden retriever with Really. Big. Paws.

No joke.

For years we’ve found it hilarious that he will lie in the direct sunlight when it’s HOT out, and take a nap.

That would be what he’s doing in this particular photo. 😉

Andre is usually lying nearby in the shade because he gets that lying in the sun is…well, it’s HOT.

Especially when you have golden retriever fur.

Not that I would know…I’m just imagining here. :)

He would do it on a daily basis when we lived in Indonesia. (Read: when the temperatures were pushing 95 or 100.)

We would watch him and think he was crazy as we still-sweated in our not-outside-in-the-sun living room. Yet a good part of his days were spent basking in the glorious (and did I mention HOT?!) tropical sunshine.

Maybe he was soaking up all he could because he knew eventually we’d stick him on a plane bound for the Midwest. And snow. Which he loves, by the way..

The truth with this dog is that he’s always been a little odd.

The first time we offered him ham, he wouldn’t eat it. What dog turns down meat?

His first interaction with Andre, as a twenty-or-less pound puppy, began with him trying to jump on top of our poor, confused, American dog. We still laugh about that.

He always has to have something in his mouth…usually in the form of a stuffed animal. (And he will steal one of Maelie’s if he can’t find one of his four or five.)

He still lives to greet us at the door in his usual, run-full-speed-and-almost-knock-us-over, manner…whether we’ve been gone for a week or two minutes.

The truth is, this crazy dog wormed his way into our hearts immediately…

And we love him like the crazy that he is.

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It’s Tuesday, and this link up at my friend, Crystal’s place is becoming one of my favorites. It’s pretty sweet (and sometimes tear-jerking, so bring tissues) to read the stories that come with the photos of life…especially the photos where there’s so much more going on than what we see.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time and come on over to check out the silly and sweet of what goes on behind the camera lens…I promise you’ll leave smiling.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Beautiful

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: Beautiful

It’s one of my favorite words that she says…beautiful.

Except she doesn’t say it that way.

Flowers are beaufitul.

Mommy is beaufitul. (according to her, anyway!) 😉

The car is beaufitul. (I adore her.)

It’s one of the few words we won’t correct because it’s just so darn cute. :)

Really, the word, beautiful or beaufitul or however you want to say it…

Is the word I would use to describe this journey.

The journey of mommyhood and being a wife and finding community and dream-chasing.

Oh, it hasn’t been easy…and the days haven’t been perfect.

But when I look back at the end of each day, there is always,

Always

Always a reason to smile.

Life is beautiful.

The blessings He gives are beautiful.

And I’m going to soak up each precious gift He chooses to give.

Especially when those gifts come in the form of a beautiful little girl who says the word in about the most adorable way possible.

Beaufitul.

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Five Minute Friday

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Behind the Scenes: We’re Not Just Picking Flowers Here…

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When I first look at this picture, I think,

Mel, couldn’t you have at least gotten this from another angle? Really? It’s your precious girlie picking a flower!

And then I answer myself with a loud, resounding, NO!

Because this is not really a story about picking flowers at all…but I hope you enjoy my drama storytelling, anyway. 😉

On Sunday afternoon we left town around 12:45 p.m. and headed to Madison, Wisconsin, for Tobin’s uncle’s birthday party.

It’s a two hour drive.

ETA with a potty break thrown in there: 3:00 p.m.

Right. On. Time.

But, no. Oh, no.

Our first mistake was getting on I-90 which was kinda like downtown Chicago after a Bulls game.

Times about a hundred gazillion.

Traffic was creeping…and I do mean creeeeeeeeeeeping.

We sat in it for a good fifteen minutes before we were able to inch our way toward the first exit we saw.

We’re poring over the GPS, trying to find an alternate route, already running super late, and have just turned onto Route 72 when we hear that little voice from the backseat.

I need to go potty!

It’s our first road trip with her being potty trained. {OF COURSE she needs to go potty…it’s Murphy’s Law at its finest and most inconvenient. ;)}

We stop at the first gas station we see and We. Make. It.

Whew.

But we’re Tobin and Mel and Maelie…the fun never stops with just a potty break! 😉

She spots a field of flowers as we’re walking back to the van. Down the hill from where we’re parked.

I’m wearing heels. (Of course…when am I not? But still.)

I WANNA PICK A FLOWER!

Knowing that the easiest thing to do in this situation is to Just. Let. Her. Pick. The. Flower…I kick off my heels and we run down the hill to find the very best one.

Realizing at this very moment that this is potentially a perfect picture for my Tuesday post, I whip out my iPhone and snap a picture as fast as I can before we run back up the hill to the van.

And, yes, I remembered to go back for my shoes. 😉

Soon we’re off again, down or up or whichever way we were going on Route 72. (I’m thinking I need to write a song here…)

The drive is going smoothly for about six minutes, which is a record for us on this trip, friends.

Things. Are. Most. Definitely. Looking. Up.

And then we see? The brake lights.

There’s a train. It’s. Not. Moving. At. All.

People are turning around, and I just think, Can’t you wait a few measly minutes for a train?

And then Tobin points out that people on the other side have gotten OUT of their cars and are walking around. Clearly, this train is not moving anytime soon.

We sit for a few minutes, thinking that maybe our presence will bring some good luck and things will get moving again. Not a chance. Like the multitudes, we backtrack and find another route. (At this point, the GPS tells us we’re going to be about 30 minutes late.)

Finally on our way (again) we head toward Rockford. We are Just. About. There. when we pass over I-90, which I think may have a new name in my mind now. (It does not belong here.)

Traffic is moving.

We’re encouraged that perhaps we can hop back on the freeway and make up a few minutes.

Our next mistake: We get back on the freeway.

Because we’re optimistic like that. 😉

No sooner had we actually entered the highway when we saw brake lights and it backed up.

We crawled.

Crawled.

Actually, I’m pretty sure I could have gotten out of the car and, literally, crawled faster.

OY.

At this point, I think the phrase, And WHY are we doing this?, may or may not have escaped my lips.

But by now, I just need to focus on something else, so I pull out my phone and tap out a text message to a friend. It’s all, Hope you’re having a good day, we’re stuck in traffic, haha, but she knows me well enough to know that I’m just not telling her exactly how frustrated I am.

It takes up a minute of our forever-into-eternity, long trip, and then I look up.

Still traffic.

Twenty more minutes before we hit Rockford, which is normally a 40 minute drive for us. Sunday? It took us

An. Hour. And. 40. Minutes.

Good grief, have we done something wrong?! Don’t answer that.

Thankfully the rest of the trip was uneventful except for one more little stop right before we arrived at our destination just a few minutes before 4 p.m.

Happy party, fun to catch up with people we hadn’t seen in a long time, there was cake, all is good.

Except there’s a drive home, ya know?

We planned it and got off the freeway Completely. Before. We. Even. Arrived. In. Illinois.

Take THAT, I-90.

😛

Home in two hours and a few extra minutes. Praise Jesus.

Except I have to go through Rockford next week, and I have no idea how I’m going to survive it.

Lots of prayer?

More detours?

Please. Send. Chocolate.

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Happy Tuesday, sweet friends! On Tuesdays I link up with my sweet friend, Crystal, at her space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to hop over and read about the real and messy of life that happens behind the photos we take.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: In Between

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s topic: In Between

It’s true what they say…the days are long but the years are short, and we’ve “only” got three years behind us.

I can’t believe how fast it went…how that precious, tiny little girl grew up into such a little lady…one who even steals my headband for certain birthday celebrations. 😉

We celebrated her last week, and it was the strangest mix of joy and disbelief…but really?

Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I. Am. So. Blessed.

Not only am I the one who gets to spend my days with this awesome girlie, but I get all the in between moments…and sometimes those are the best of all.

In between swimming and trying out her new scooter, I get that quick snuggle and I love you, Mommy.

In between a fun morning at the park and the ride home, I get to hold her hand while we walk to the van.

My sweet Mae, let’s hang on to those in between moments and soak them up for all they are.

I hold every one of them in my heart.

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Five Minute Friday

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