Behind the Scenes: Counting Gifts

November 5, 2013 by · 22 Comments

It’s November, and I looooooove November.

:)

It’s like that perfect, crunchy-leaf, apple-spicy-smelling, permission-to-drink-coffee-like-crazy, time of year.

Plus, I like pie almost as much as cake, and Thanksgiving=pie, but we’ll talk about that another week. 😉

Mostly I just like all that the season holds…time to be extra-intentional about giving thanks, the anticipation of celebrating the birth of our Savior, watching the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of my sweet girl, snowman-building, Christmas music and church services, sweaters and scarves, cookies…

So much to love and look forward to. :)

Honestly, this has been a challenging season. Not a bad one. It just looks…different. Much different than I’d pictured a year ago. I thought our family would look different by now. I thought we’d feel more settled into life and ready to embrace the next chapter and possibly the next family member, too.

But that’s not where we are right now. 

And that’s ok, most of the time. We’re (still) learning how to settle. :) (Maybe I’ll write more on that later.) We’re enjoying the blessings of now, and there are so many.

But I do have those moments, and once in awhile, I catch myself being less than thankful…especially on nights when I know there’s no little one growing in me and that there probably won’t be anytime soon.

And, yet, it doesn’t take much, really. Much to be thankful by just looking around me.

And by looking at this girl.

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She was my candy-lovin’ Belle on Halloween, but every day, she’s my sweetie. (And, good golly, she looks about TEN here. Oy…) She is joy and sunshine and a gift all wrapped up in something more beautiful than I ever could have even dreamed. And I know I share that often here, but sometimes…

Well, sometimes it’s just good to give thanks for those gifts who dance with me every day…those that bless me so much more than I can ever really express in words.

Mae’s been sick this week…a little fever, a lot of runny nose and coughing, and yesterday all she wanted was snuggles. And as I cuddled up to her for some story-reading, she leaned her head in close to my heart and whispered, I love you, Mommy. We are best girls.

Oh, bless. I melted all over the couch, I’m sure.

I look at her and I think back over the almost-three-and-a-half years we’ve had with this girl, and that’s just about all I need to whisper thanks and praise about 10,000 times. Or more.

Friends, He is so Good.

And I’m so thankful…for so, so many things.

I’m counting my gifts today. And every day…join me? :)

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

October 29, 2013 by · 26 Comments

This?

photo-1

This is cake.

It’s my love language. (Well, one of many.) 😉

And this particular piece of cake? It was eaten on Sunday, late morning.

After my roomies had left.

After I’d said (and cried over) a lot of goodbyes.

After I’d made a quick jaunt to this sweet little coffee shop with a dear friend.

I just needed a little time to think…about an amazing weekend spent surrounded by so many of my beautiful sisters.

Well, I also needed something amazing to eat as I attempted to cram all of those sweet, awesome, swag goodies into my suitcase. Trust me, friends…when they tell you to bring an extra suitcase, Just. Do. It.

Says the girl who checked a 50.5 pound bag and toted a way-too-heavy carry-on through the airport. 😉

Anyway, back to Allume.

Amazing.

Life-changing.

Love-led.

Spirit-filled.

It was overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming.

And, honestly, I can’t begin to process it all just yet. (Hence, the reason this post is #1 of about 212…)

Because I’ll want to tell you about how the country of Uganda wiggled its way into my heart, probably forever.

Or how I was blessed to meet with an agent and take another step with my book.

About how I met some truly fabulous women who are just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

And those posts will come, but they’re not quite here yet…I’m still processing, still smiling, and a teeny tiny part of my heart is grieving that the weekend is over. Yep, still rockin’ the ENFP all over the place. 😉

But I can begin with cake.

And?

This.

GSDT Allumephoto credit: Melissa Aldrich, Quiet Graces

My beautiful sisters.

This group of women who daily inspire me in my walk with Jesus. They live with passionate abandon, they prayer-cover those who struggle, they give an abundance of hugs, they laugh loud and love even louder.

They listen to my stories and share theirs with me.

We do life together…and even if it’s more through computer screens than at coffee tables, I will hold them in my heart forever.

More stories on the way…probably 211 of them. 😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, blessings, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

October 22, 2013 by · 24 Comments

MaeMommyHopscotch

I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her. 

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, God-Sized Dreams, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: An Indonesia Moment

October 15, 2013 by · 26 Comments

photo(22)

I let myself go back tonight.

It’s not a place I go often, but I do revisit once in awhile, whether through pictures, video, memories, even reading a random book sent to us by our organization before we even began our journey.

There are times when it’s good for the soul…and just plain good for my heart…to remember.

I know it’s something I’ll never have again.

But I do like to have those moments when Indonesia feels so real again…so close I can almost taste the nasi uduk and gepuk or even the pisang goreng. I can hear the call to prayer, the constant honk of car horns, the little beep of a passing motorbike. I can even smell the not-always-wonderful scents that permeated Jl. Cihampelas during a Saturday drive to CiWalk.

Sometimes I worry that the memories will fade…not just in my heart, but the hearts of others. I think of our sweet pembantu and wonder if she will ever hug my daughter. If we will ever hug her again.

It hurts sometimes.

And tonight, well…I knew I’d go sometime.

I went to the cupboard…and I dug through and found the very last packet of Indonesian coffee, one I’ve literally been saving for a night when I knew I’d want it. (And, clearly, patience was my shining virtue because the expiration date…which I totally ignored…was approximately a year ago. Give or take four months.) 😉

I plopped on the couch…and as I sipped and savored and remembered the many, many mornings when I’d begin a day of teaching 4th grade, coffee mug in one hand, drinking this exact beverage…it was like the memories and moments flooded back into my heart.

It felt like a beautiful, wonderful lifetime ago and at the same time, just a tiny blink spanning then and now, too.

I guess that’s the way it is with memories we hold so deeply…they feel like forever snapshots, ones that we tie into that corner, hoping that our hearts will always be strong enough to hold on.

And as the happy tears fill my eyes…but they only brim, they don’t drip…I give thanks for these moments.

The kind when I can smile and know that it was good.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, coffee, friends, Indonesia, remembering, where I am

Behind the Scenes: When You Just Need a Refill

October 8, 2013 by · 23 Comments

There’s a scene that greets me every morning, usually before six, that looks something like this.

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For a coffee guzzler drinker like me, this particular scene could be considered tragic…because it means I actually need to get up out of my chair, leave my blanket behind, and shuffle to the kitchen for a refill. Yes, I’m freezing in the morning and am usually wrapped up as much as possible while I do my Bible study… 😉 

That refill? It’s just what needs to happen because I know it’s not good for anyone…and I do mean anyone…if I choose to face by day with just one cup of caffeine. 😉

Maybe that was a bit of a stretch…but it’s so fitting for where my heart sits right now.

I am totally that empty coffee cup, the one with just the last few drops left…the one that is begging for a refill, for the good of everyone.

Friends, my words are gone, and I feel like I’m running on the fumes.

It’s been that way for the last few weeks as I’ve tried to write, tried to share…and nothing comes.

It frustrates me…I compare myself with others who are so good, with those who manage to string such amazing words together for days in a row, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.

Which also tells me something…that, potentially, I’ve found too much of my identity in being a writer and not enough in being His daughter.

So there are facts. A lot of them.

I’m writing a book. Actually, it’s written. (I’ll still shout out an Amen! for that one. It feels good. ;))

But, more accurately, I’m writing a book proposal. (Or trying to.) Yep, this wordless thing also carries over to proposals, and I’m currently staring down a 15-day deadline. (Double yikes.)

The timing for this whole where-are-my-words? thing isn’t great. All year I’ve been looking forward to this amazing blogging conference…the one where I will have a chance to learn from and connect with so many awesome women and friends, in real life, that up until now I only know through computer screens. There’s also the opportunity to talk with publishers…kind of a necessary step toward becoming published. And here I am, throwing myself into a mix of writers when I don’t feel like one myself.

I know it’s a lie…one that the enemy desperately wants me to believe. One I can’t choose to believe. I can’t.

Because there’s also Truth.

A lot of it.

The truth is that I’m a bit empty…in a dry and desperately-needing-a-refill season. The kind where I spend more time soaking up than pouring…and though it’s hard, I have to continually tell myself that it’s not bad.

The truth is also that there are times…like now…when He asks me to sit at His feet and just be. To wait and listen and still praise…and be filled with Truth and His love and rest in the fact that I’m His daughter and that His plan for me will be fulfilled when it’s time. 

I know this time of filling is so important…but it’s not what I had planned on for this season.

I had planned. No surprise to Him, though.

So I got up again this morning. Shuffled to the kitchen. (Yep, totally wrapped in my blanket…the turquoise and brown zebra print one, since I know you care about such details… ;)) Made the coffee. Sat down with my first mug and open my Bible. It’s 6:05 a.m. and the scene above is staring me down right now.

I think it’s time for a refill.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Wishing you all a great day! If you’ve got time, I know you’ll love the stories my friends are sharing today! You can click on the link below to find them. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: barefoot, Behind the Scenes, coffee, encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

October 1, 2013 by · 14 Comments

Hey, friends. :)

Just up front, I don’t know why I feel the need to explain this, but I do. It’s not me defending myself…I promise. Just a this-is-why explanation. With a cute picture at the end. 😉

So, it’s October…and I have to admit that I’ve been waiting for this month for a loooooong time. Not only do I love fall and pretty much all things pumpkin spice (who doesn’t?!), but it’s also the month when I finally get to wrap my arms around the necks of so many amazing women who have walked this dreaming and writing journey with me in the last year.

I almost want to actually get up and do a cartwheel in the living room, but it’s early, and I’m tired, so I’ll refrain from that…but I will let out a virtual

Squeeeeeeeee!

Thanks for letting me do that. 😉

This is also the month when a lot of my blogging community is participating in the Nester’s 31 Day’s series.

I love the idea…blogging for 31 days (the entire month) about a specific topic. (I actually did my own version of it a couple years ago.) And I’ve gotta be honest here…I’m dying to participate.

But I know me…and I know my current season. I’m very aware of a certain book proposal and chapter edits that are hanging over my head. (Good stuff but time consuming, to say the least.) I’ve gotta keep my head on straight (haha…does that ever happen?! ;)) and focus on the dream and taking the opportunities that are there…I might not have them again.

And?

I’ve also got this great little girl…and the days are slipping by.

Too quickly.

To the point where I want to run upstairs and interrupt her beautiful sleep at 6 a.m. just so I can hold her in my arms before she gets any bigger.

This season, God is also calling me to something great beyond writing: He’s calling me to embrace being a mommy completely.

I don’t say no well.

But I said no to blogging 31 days…not because I think it’s a bad idea. (In fact, I think it’s an awesome one!) But because, this season, He’s got greater things for me.

Things like…

...stepping away from the computer and going to the park.

...leaving my phone in the house and going outside to swing with my girl.

…putting down my Kindle and picking up a story to read with her.

…Pounding out a book proposal and editing like crazy when she’s sleeping. (Had to throw that in…it’s my reality. :))

All of those things.

Plus…taking the time to skip down sidewalks while holding a handful of flowers.

maeskipping

Ok, ok, maybe I’ll leave that to her…but I might grab her hand and join her one of these days! 😉

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Take some time today and stop by if you can…the hearts of these beautiful women who share their stories will encourage you as you read what’s happening behind the camera lens. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: What He Gives

September 24, 2013 by · 24 Comments

Do you ever have one of those weeks?

I’ve kinda had one of those months.

And it’s not that this is a huge pity party…because I’m really fine. My days are full of smiles and laughter, often thanks to the sweetest little girl who can brighten the darkest room.

It’s just been a season…one where my desires and plans don’t match up with what He’s got for me.

And that can be hard.

In some ways, it’s been a strange paradox of death but life, of laying down but embracing, of letting go but choosing hope.

And that’s what I need right now. All of this.

But, a confession? It’s been hard to pray.

When my heart is just heavy and tired, I don’t feel like praying. Pray for others…absolutely. But pray for me?

It’s tough.

And maybe that’s why I’m so thankful that He’s there and He hears and He answers cries we don’t even speak…

And He answers them like this…

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…a sweet note in the mail from a dear dreaming sister, just to let me know she’s thinking of me. Oh, if she only knew how perfectly timed those words were. Still are.

…a little book that has been exactly what my heart needs each moment I open it. My sweet friend has no idea how much these words have meant to this heart, especially in the last weeks.

…a Friday morning text…”Can I buy you a Starbucks?” She doesn’t know how long it’s been since someone asked me that…or how much it meant.

…a book that most of the world has already read, (or it seems like it, anyway!), and I am just now diving in. Coincidence? Not at all…my heart grips each word a little more tightly than the one before.

…Hello Mornings and challenging verses and before-sunrise discussions and prayers that make me breathe thanks for sisters who walk this journey with me.

…just-because texts that bring a smile in the midst of a hard moment.

Each of these felt like God was reaching down to wrap me in His arms and tell me, It’s going to be ok.

The funny thing is, I know that…but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I’ve been showered with blessings in the past weeks, both by my (in)RL community and my online one as well.

Blessings…it’s a word He keeps bring back to me.

And I’ll write more about that next week.

For today, just thank you.

Thank you to those who love me so well.

Thank you to my Father for the countless blessings.

Thankful.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

If you’ve got time to hop over, you’ll find some stories that will definitely make your day. From the sweet and silly to the sad and sentimental, the stories that happen beyond the edges of a picture are truly worth sharing. Blessings and happy Tuesday, friends! :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, blessings, friends, just life, what I'm learning, where I am

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

September 16, 2013 by · 27 Comments

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This picture has popped up on my blog a few times lately.

Yeah, I think she’s pretty adorable. :)

A couple months ago, we took advantage of a Groupon deal and hired a photographer to come out to our C’ville stomping grounds and take some family pictures.

Let me tell you, friends…with a spunky toddler like we have, this was a tall order to fill.

But he rocked it, despite the fact that she was constantly on the move.

And? He managed to capture this gem.

To say that I. Completely. Love. It. is just scratching the surface.

Because what this is…it’s me and my girl and my passion and my heart all miraculously captured in one, beautiful photo.

For years, I have dreamed of writing. Of blogging, of publishing, of making a name for myself. (I didn’t say all of these were noble aspirations.) 😉

And during those years, another dream of mine has been dancing around my feet, sometimes holding my hand, sometimes spinning on her own.

This girl.

Maelie girl.

She’s fabulous.

And she’s my calling, my dream, my heart.

She is who I want to be my priority every second of the day.

Even over writing and blogging and publishing and being all that those things bring.

And so this picture…this snapshot of our moments…it represents so much.

Because I love my daughter to the moon and back. (Plus infinity…just ask her. ;))

I still love to write…

I still want to publish a book…

I still dream of being a contributor on a blog…and that one is happening soon, so stay tuned!

But my point?

Is that I want moments like the one in this photo all the time.

I want her all the time.

And so…I’m redefining.

Making mommyhood, marriage, a follower of my Father, a friend…priorities.

Oh, I’ll still write…’cause a writer still needs air sometimes. Plus, I just love to write…I can’t give it up.

But I’ll do that when she’s in bed. Or having her quiet time. Or watching her hour of tv (hour, not hourS).

😉

And I’m not perfect. I’ll fumble, I’ll fail, I’ll write a blog post while she watches yet another episode of Sofia the First or Doc McStuffins.

But where my heart is now?

It’s in that place where I don’t want to miss a single moment.

Ever.

And, friends?

I’ve been given a great opportunity, one I am incredibly thankful for, one I didn’t plan on…but one that God was weaving into His plan all along.

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I am completely blown away by the opportunity to be an (in)courager.

Squeeeeeeeee! 😉 (Plus, imagine a little happy dancing, too.)

I am so excited to encourage and invest in the lives of other stay-at-home mommas like me…ones who, I have a feeling, struggle with many of the same things I do.

(In)courage has a new session of (in)courager groups kicking off this week, and registration is open! If you’re looking for a small group, a place to connect with women in the same season of life, a place to be encouraged…this is exactly for you.

You can go here to read the heart behind (in)courager groups AND to find one that is the perfect fit for you. Of course, I’d love it if you joined my group, but look for the one that best meets you in your current season. (And as of tonight, my group is full…but there are TONS of groups…go find one! ;))

You will love it. I promise. :)

It makes me smile to look back at the last few weeks…to see how He is weaving together pieces of my heart and writing another part of my story. Pulling back on a few things, but still filling my life with amazing blessings.

And reminding me of the ones I already have.

**************************

Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

I hope you’ll take some time to pop over and read the sometimes-hilarious, sometimes-tear-jerking, just-fun stories that go on behind the actual photos. :)

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: (in)courage, Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, marriage, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Just Breathe

September 9, 2013 by · 20 Comments

There are few moments…few…in the life of this extrovert when space is needed.

Yep, I’m mostly being serious.

I thrive from time spent with friends, my family…and it’s possible I thrive equally on caffeine, too. (Just keepin’ it real today, friends. ;))

That’s why I surprised myself last week.

Or, maybe it wasn’t really a surprise. That much, anyway. I’d seen it coming for awhile.

You see…this space has been going for almost three years. Yep, that’s a long time for Mel to stick to anything. I wrote a lot more during the first two years, but I’ve been posting at least twice, sometimes three times, a week since I started my blog.

And it’s slowly taken it’s toll.

Not always in a bad way, but I was exhausted. Emotional. Potentially starting to detest the idea of sitting down to splash out words from a tired heart that didn’t want the gift of words anymore.

But we can’t always throw away our gifts, can we? And, to be honest, I didn’t really want to.

And so I took a break. As in, I replied to the comments from last Tuesday, and I broke for a week.

That was not an easy thing for me to do.

My online community…where many of my sweet sisters and friends dwell…they were thriving and sharing life, and everything in me wanted to glue myself back together, take back my words, and rejoin them to tweet and pin and insta-whatever…just be a present part of their lives.

But I didn’t.

And instead, I embraced this.

bikepath

This path.

This quiet.

It’s one I used to detest.

Going on and on with not a whole lot more than solitude and creepy woods, it used to bore me to tears. (Not really…no actual tears involved. Just sweat running over my eyes, but that’s kind of the same thing, right?!) 😉

Last week I pounded out over 22 miles on this path.

Part of that is because I somehow got myself signed up for a 10k that involves a lot of running and a lot of hills and, therefore, I need to train my body to go further than 3.1 miles.

But I don’t think that’s the only reason I ran it over and over.

Do you ever have those weeks, friends?

The kind when you question everything?

I’d like to say that I spent this time in prayer…in praising God for His amazing creation. In thanking Him for giving me the physical ability to actually run multiple miles without (mostly) feeling like I’m going to die. In lifting up friends and those I love who are hurting.

Sadly, I think I spent more of my time arguing with Him…telling Him how I thought things should be.

How this writing thing should be easier and the words should just be flowing…it shouldn’t be this hard.

How relationships should be a lot less complicated, too…why can’t we just get along all the time?

And telling Him that I think now (or, at least nine months from now) is the perfect time for us to have another baby…and why doesn’t He think so, too?!

There was a lot more than that, I’m sure. (And so you all aren’t disappointed, I did still sing along sometimes.) 😉

But in the middle of it, even after unleashing that much frustration…I still heard Him.

Breathe. Just Breathe.

I’ve got this.

Friends, I struggle every day.

I struggle to accept the fact that He truly does have it all.

Because I have a plan in my head that seems *so perfect*…and I forget that my plans should be His and surrendered and taken out of my fully-open palms and placed into His.

Oh, how hard that is to do.

This is the path where I told Him all of that as my feet pounded and the tears mixed with sweat and the words

Lord, I need You, Oh, I need You

played over and over.

That time for me and my heart and Him.

And now I’m back.

I’m not sure what’s different yet, but something is.

Because He’s Good and He hears the hearts of His children.

**************************

On Tuesdays, I link up with my friend, Crystal, at her space for Behind the Scenes.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

If you have some time, feel free to stop by for some great stories of the fun and funny, the sad, the joyful…all of those things that happen behind the camera lens. I hope you’ll join us! :)

crystalstine.me

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Filed Under: barefoot, Behind the Scenes, encouragement, just life, running, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: A Sanctuary (and a Superwoman Story, Too…)

September 2, 2013 by · 28 Comments

 photo(16)

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m not really Superwoman.

😉

Especially when it comes to tasks that require assembling…well, pretty much anything.

But I surprised myself last Friday night.

So this past June, a friend and I were walking through Target, and I saw The. Cutest. little table and chairs the world has ever seen…exactly something I’d been wanting to buy for awhile. Unfortunately, the price tag was more than I could pay at the time, but I vowed to keep my eye on it throughout the summer, figuring it would go on sale eventually in the land of red and white.

Well, I was right.

I was really right, apparently. Just a week later, the price had been slashed 50%. I bought it immediately.

And then?

The box sat in our garage for a small forever. (Read: two months.)

I’m not exactly sure why.

I’d been dying for a cute little place to sit and drink coffee with a friend, to do my morning Bible study on our back porch, to kick my feet up in the afternoon and read a book…

But there it sat. And sat. And sat.

Finally last week, I decided it was time to put it together.

Hubby was out of town.

I was faced with attempting the impossible to assemble some big and scary furniture all by myself.

And Friday night was the night.

Mae and I had been out most of the day, got caught in a huge storm, made a late(r) night trip to Target…but by 9 p.m. she was in bed, and I was ready.

Tired, but ready.

I tore open the box.

I made sure I had all the pieces.

I read the directions because I am a woman. 😉

And then I found the little allen wrench (totally had to ask hubby what that thing was called…) and started on the first chair.

After (rather painfully) struggling through attaching the first armrest/leg, I decided it would be best to work on both of the chairs at the same time.

It was slow going…I think I finished them around 10:30 p.m. with a quick, I-need-something-to-eat, snack thrown in there.

My muscles were tired from squatting, bending over, and trying to hold pieces in place with one hand and use that little wrench thingy with the other hand.

I actually broke a sweat. (And made a lot of noise when I kept dropping the wrench…)

But I finished.

You can clap here if you so choose. I may or may not have had a little celebration myself. 😉

And the table was my redemption. Five minutes.

Aaaahhhh….furniture.

Furniture. That. I. Miraculously. Assembled. By. Myself.

😉

The best part? Is that my sweet friend joined me the next morning, just so we could break it in properly with coffee and a long chat.

And no one broke a chair, either. 😉

And since Saturday morning, I’ve managed to sit at that table quite a few times.

Coffee on Saturday morning and Sunday, catching up on a few things today, reading a little…

I love it.

It makes me smile that I finally have a little place…a sanctuary…on my back porch to breathe and just be.

And I’ll gladly reclaim the title of Superwoman if anyone wants to send me a cape. 😉

**************************

And, friends? I want to thank all of you who have been stopping by to read my words, leave me some comment love, pray, encourage me…you just bless my flip flops off. Truly.

But for the rest of the week, I’m going to take a break. Just a week…my plan is to be back for Behind the Scenes next week.

I just need a few days to breathe, catch up on some other commitments, and work on a few things that desperately need to move from my brain to paper. Plus, we all need to take a break once in awhile, right? :)

Love you all!

**************************

Happy Tuesday, friends! It’s time for one of my favorite link ups, hosted at my sweet friend, Crystal’s place.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Hop over and check out some sweet and silly, fun and moving stories of the things that go on behind the pictures. Some of my favorite bloggy friends hang out there, and I know their words will bless you. Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

crystalstine.me

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Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, creating, friends, just life
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