Aaaaahhhhh…

So, we’ll see how long this virtual coffee date (without the coffee) lasts tonight.

For now, it just feels good to sit down.

But, Happy Friday, friends!

I saw the BEST quote on facebook the other day. Something to the effect of…

Yay! It’s Friday! Oh, wait…I’m a mom.

So stinkin’ true. Most of the time I really don’t mind that, for the most part, my days get all mashed together and the general routine of them is the same, but about a week ago…

Well, this is tough to admit. Really.

My eyes filled up with tears, and I looked at my husband when he got home from work, and I told him I wanted to walk away from my life for the night.

Just a few hours.

I couldn’t believe how completely glorious it sounded to take a book to a coffee shop, order a steaming latte, crawl into a comfy chair (and probably cover up with a blanket…yes, IN the coffee shop ;)) and disappear into another world for a couple hours.

I didn’t do it…but it was a wonderful dream. One that I plan to make a reality soon. Blanket and all. πŸ˜‰

But I did get somewhat of a break earlier in the week.

Mae had some awesome grandma time in Iowa, and I?

I had two days with my best friends. You know, those girls who know every single detail about me. It was wonderful and bittersweet and memorable and sad all rolled into a short 30ish hours. One of them is going through a valley so dark that I can’t even begin to imagine.

Yet, she shines.

She inspires.

She’s one of those people who reminds me, on days when I feel that there is no hope, that there is.

HOPE.

In every circumstance, no matter what. Will you pray for her? I know she’d be so thankful.

We had some good time together, complete with the misadventure of my van briefly going kaput, and as always, our time together was way too short.

But I always leave thankful for the time we do have. :)

Mae and I made the trek back yesterday, and she really was a very good traveler. The poor girl doesn’t like to be restrained, but she managed well despite being strapped into the evil confines of her carseat…she played with her toys, dolls, books, sang, talked, ate. It was good mommy/daughter bonding time, and I’m so thankful for her. What a sweetie pie. :)

It’s a busy weekend. Our church has a big day of serving in the community tomorrow. After six hours of my own personal concert (aka: the drive home) πŸ˜‰ and two music rehearsals (last night and tonight), I somehow need to find my voice for tomorrow morning and Sunday morning. Hopin’ it’s there. :)

People from our church will be doing all kinds of things for people in the community…fixing up houses, cleaning yards, collecting food, making blankets and hats, putting together care packages for soldiers and shoe boxes of Christmas gifts for kids in need.

It’s so incredible to see the body of Christ at work in such a tangible way…really looking forward to tomorrow! :)

And even though there’s probably a lot more that I could go on (and on and on) about, I should probably end this for the night. My morning starts early, and life is just easier with a full eight hours. Ya know? :)

Hope you’ve all had a good week…have a happy weekend! Love you all.

Sig

10 Years!

From this…

…to this…

…I. LOVE. IT.

Special thanks to our friend, Kelly, at Stick People Productions for the awesome family photos! :)

Sig

That Post Where I Talk About My Gall Bladder

Seriously.

This time, I’m not kidding.

Which is kind of a bummer.

So it’s been a strange couple of days.

I think I’m usually pretty good at rolling with the punches…I’ve learned that in the multiple, multiple times that life has thrown me curve balls. You just kinda go with it.

And yesterday was no exception.

For the past few weeks, I’ve felt a little off. I had some issues I wasn’t particularly worried about but were still present. (And annoying.) Nausea (mostly), some abdominal/back pain. A couple times it was bad, but you know…it went away.

Thursday was especially rough. It was really hard to smile and be myself when I just felt like crap. Which was pretty much an accurate description. That night I came home from Praise Team practice around 9:15, and I was hungry. That’s not abnormal…I kinda like to eat. Hence the reason I run. πŸ˜‰ I had a cookie, a glass of milk, took a few minutes to blog, and went to bed.

I had kind of an ache in my chest and was hoping I’d sleep it off. I fell asleep for a few but woke up around 11:30 with the most pain I’d ever felt in my life…back/chest pain that brought me to tears. I tossed and turned for awhile before waking up Tobin. I got up, walked around, and at one point decided to lie down on the floor (THAT actually helped) before going downstairs and lying on the couch. Around 2:30 the pain subsided somewhat, and I was able to fall asleep.

I woke up around 6:30 feeling…ok. Definitely not great and still in pain, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I had some things I needed to get done, and being a very I-don’t-go-to-the-doctor-unless-it’s-absolutely-necessary person, I had a hard time choosing that over what I felt was more important. But after several minutes of going back and forth with Tobin in an, I-don’t-know-what-we-should-do-do-you conversation, we decided I needed to get checked out. I made a phone call, got Maelie up, and we took her to a sitter before heading to the hospital, (in)conveniently located way too far from our house.

Thankfully the ER was empty…I do not handle places like that well. I also learned that when you walk into one and say the words, chest pain, almost immediately you are hooked up to an EKG machine. That was a first for me. Thankfully, that came back clear.

But I still spent several hours in a room in the ER in one of those horrible, flash-the-world hospital gowns, hooked up to a heart monitor and I.V. while the doctor asked me questions, ordered a chest X-ray, asked more questions, and finally ordered an ultrasound to check out my gall bladder and a few other organs, but the gall bladder was the suspect.

And the doctor was right.

A nasty gallstone.

UGH.

It does explain the nausea and pain I’d been experiencing for awhile, though. In all honesty, I was thankful to finally have an answer even if I’m not excited about what that means.

I’ll have a follow-up with my regular doctor this week and then will probably meet with a surgeon.

Really, I’m frustrated, but I’m kind of at the whatever point…let’s just get this taken care of so I can get on with life. (And feel better.)

It makes days like today hard when I carry Maelie up the stairs and am so exhausted I just want to crawl into bed. When the sun is shining and it’s a gorgeous day and I’d rather lie on the couch. Granted, the Olympics ARE on. Thankful for that. :)

Funny story from when I was in the ER yesterday. I seriously couldn’t stop thinking about the opening ceremonies and how much I wanted to watch them NOT in a hospital room. I guess I should have been more worried about my health, but admittedly, that thought raced back and forth through my brain the entire time. :)

I am thankful, though.

Very.

The real reason we went in is because I was worried it was my heart. I kept telling myself, There’s no way it can be your heart, Mel. You’re healthy, in shape…you’re fine. But the pain I was feeling suggested otherwise, and I was scared.

If I had heart issues, it would have meant a huge life-change. (There’s definitely a spiritual parallel there…maybe I’ll touch that again another time.) :)

Gall bladder? Definitely inconvenient, but it can be dealt with. I’ll get my energy back. I’ll still be able to run. Chase my daughter. Laugh with her. Share ice cream sundaes with her. Be my old self. :)

I’d appreciate your prayers over the next couple of weeks…hopefully it’ll only take that long. :)

God is Good.

Sig

Fun on the Farm!

Maelie and I visited the farm this week with our friend, Kris.

It was actually the dairy farm she grew up on, which made it even more cool…love seeing pieces of a friend’s life. :)

And for a kid, there’s nothing that’s not to love about the farm…yes, I’m talking about Maelie. πŸ˜‰ Exploring, discovering, getting licked by a cow, chasing kitties, running around, driving a go-cart (ok, ok so that one was more me!)…oh, we had so much fun!

“Grandpa” and “Grandma” R were awesome hosts…we were very, very spoiled and loved. We were fed some of the most yummy food I’ve eaten in a long time, we stayed in the coolest farm themed room ever, and they even took time to love Mae…lots of stories and playtime and some coloring and exploring everywhere.

She had the best time, and She. Loved. It.

WE loved it. :)

I had a hard time choosing our favorite pics, so you get a lot of them. :)

Our first stop was to visit the baby calves. She was a little hesitant at first but was definitely curious.

Up close and personal. She loved it, though…you can tell.

Mae loved the cats, even if most of them didn’t want to be caught. Grandpa caught this one for her. She is still talking about “chasing kitties”. :)

I was surprised this one just sat and let her pet it!

Time for a story with Grandma! This was the first time Mae had ever heard the story of Chicken Little, and she was very, very worried throughout the entire book. It was cute. :)

This was too sweet of a moment not to share. Kris sat down to play the Veggie Tales song on the piano, and Maelie sat right by her, “playing” and “singing” along.

I loved driving the go-cart…it gave me a moment of Indonesia again. And as a bonus, no one died. Always a good thing. :)

I didn’t get too many mommy-Maelie pics on this trip. I like this one, though, even if she is much more interested in the kitty.

What a FUN adventure…YAY for friends and the farm! :)

Sig

Where the He– is Matt? 2012

This is insanely beautiful.

Really.

I want to travel the world and dance with everyone I meet. Enjoy! :)

Oh, and come back tomorrow for a recap of our adventures on the farm!!!

Sig

Monday Morning Coffee

Hey, friends.

I’ve got a little time this morning, have a cup of coffee in my hands, (well, on the computer desk at the moment :)) and decided it was time to update the blog and coffee-date with you all.

I mean, it’s been a whole 48 hours since I’ve posted anything.

YIKES.

No, seriously, it’s good. Yesterday I intentionally stayed away from posting anything. I have to admit that it felt weird going to bed knowing I hadn’t written, and yet, I knew that if I could do it one day, it would be easier later. :)

It’s a strange freedom. And maybe now that I’ve forced myself to take that step, you’ll get a lot more thoughts worth reading and a lot less fluff. :)

Though this blog is about life, and sometimes life is fluffy. So I hope that on the days it is just that…well, that you’ll laugh with me and keep reading.

Maelie and I are off on an adventure to the farm this afternoon. Our sweet friend is taking us to her parents’ dairy farm a couple hours from here. We won’t be back until Wednesday, so we’ll look forward to sharing pictures of Maelie’s trip to the farm to visit the cows! :)

We’re excited. :)

Yesterday’s project (the magnetic paint/add-some-color-to-the-kitchen one)…is done. Ish.

Just, fyi…should you choose to use magnetic paint: a) stir it REALLY well; b)cover everything (and I do mean everything) you don’t want painted, including yourself…see: Mel’s hands. Hilarious; and c) plan it for a day when everyone else in the house can be outside because the fumes are NAS. TY. Golly, it was bad. (Mucho thanks to our friend who loaned us a fan to clear the place out a little.)

I like how it turned out, though the magnetic part isn’t as strong as we thought it would be, so we may end up adding two more coats and painting over it. Again.

Crazy crazy.

Why is it that home-improvement projects never quite turn out like we picture?

It makes me nervous to attack the front room, which is next on the list. OY…

Thursday is Tobin’s birthday. Sometimes it’s nice that our birthdays are all relatively close together, and other times I wish we could spread out the celebrating a little more. He doesn’t want anything, which doesn’t work so well for this girl who loves to gift-give, but I’ll figure something out. :)

And Saturday…well, I’ll talk more about this later, but we get to see a dear friend from Indonesia…we haven’t seen her for over four years. I have a feeling the tears will flow big time. Oh, Linds, I can’t wait to give you a HUGE hug! :)

Lotsa good stuff goin’ on, and that’s just June! I really love summer. :)

I should get going…some things need to get done before Mae and I head out to party it up on the farm. WOO HOO!

πŸ˜€

Back soon. Happy Monday to you all!

Sig

Cherry Drool

I took Mae to the doctor today to get her leg checked out.

She was cranky and crying, as usual, while Dr. F was examining her, making it hard for him to pinpoint if he was dealing with a little girl in pain or just a mad little girl. πŸ˜‰ He invited her to take a walk down the hall with him to “get a sucker”…or, so he could see her limping.

She gladly obliged, and he was suddenly at the top of her “favorite people list” after giving her a sucker from the basket. (I think this made him feel good after so many visits of not being especially loved. True.)

The second she tore that wrapper off the Dum Dum, she stuffed the candy into her mouth…and I watched in amazement.

When did she learn to do this?

I’d never given her a sucker before, but she knew what to do!

And…what not to do.

Enter…The. Drool.

Cherry flavored.

Mmmmmmmm. (Or not.)

I could not believe the amount of drool that teeny, tiny sucker produced. It soaked the front of her shirt. It left a trail AND then a puddle on the floor.

And all Dr. F and I could do…was laugh.

Golly, it was funny.

AND a sticky, gross mess (that I got) to clean up…BUT it was such a good reminder to me.

Sometimes there are pieces of life that are not the easiest to deal with. The best we can do is laugh, clean it all up, and keep going.

Which is exactly what I did…except, I waited until she was done with her candy before I took her out of the office. (No sense in continuing the trail of cherry goo.) πŸ˜‰

We got out to the car, changed her shirt, and were on our way home.

With a story that, I’m sure, will be told over and over. :)

(Oh, and her leg is ok…just a sprain. Thanks for praying! :))

Sig

The Skinny(er)

So I’m sitting here with a too-late cup of coffee, deciding how to do this.

But I promised you all, after the pics yesterday, and so here’s the skinny…or at least the skinny(er). πŸ˜‰

So, I’m sure most moms can relate to the extra poundage that hangs on after having a baby.

For some reason, I had it in my mind that the 44 pounds I gained with Maelie would just magically disappear once I started breastfeeding. What I hadn’t anticipated were difficulties with latching, making it necessary for me to pump around the clock for months. (Ugh…there I go reminding myself.) And for whatever reason, the weight, which was supposed to come off…didn’t.

In the fall after Maelie was born, I started running again. It took me a long time to build back up the endurance I’d had before I got pregnant. I set a goal to run a 5k that November, and I did run it…but there’s no way I’m sharing my time with you all! :) During that time of running and training, I continued to eat whatever I wanted.

I think, in some ways, food became that stability. It wasn’t like I was gaining a lot…I just wasn’t losing anything. But at a time when everything was new…city and neighborhood (COUNTRY, for that matter), friends, church…at least there was always chocolate and Chicago deep-dish and pretzels. (And a lot of other things.)

Last summer, I finally got serious (or, at least thought I did) and joined a Biggest Loser competition with some friends. I worked out religiously…5-6 times a week. However, I didn’t?

Stop eating whatever I wanted.

At the end ofΒ  the summer, after losing only a few pounds, I knew I had pinpointed a problem.

Food had started overtaking me.

Gosh, that’s hard to admit. I’m really, really struggling with hashing this out for you all…just being honest.

Tobin, Maelie, and I went to Mississippi for a week in September to see some good friends. While we were there, I found some inspiration in the form of my friend, Sarah. She had worked really, really hard and looked fantastic…after having three kids in less than four years, no less. She told me a few things that had worked for her, and I decided I needed to do something.

I came home, joined another round of the Biggest Loser, got rid of the bad food in our house, and got serious.

I counted calories…1,000-1,200 a day.

Plus a workout or two each day. (I let myself take a day off every week.)

It worked…in nine weeks, I was down 22 pounds and just 14 shy of my goal weight.

I survived the holidays, only gaining a couple pounds back, and joined yet another round of the BL.

Ten weeks later, I was one pound from my goal. (Which I did eventually reach.)

Yeah, so I totally realize that if I stop here and post this as it currently is, I do sound like a brat.

So, bear with me, ok?

This journey was a good one for me. I needed to get myself into better shape. I needed to be healthy. I needed to stop squeezing my size 14 into a size 12. πŸ˜‰

I needed to feel better about myself.

Yes, it was a good journey. (And it’s not over! My goal now? To stay here!)

But, it was also a hard one.

I battled through a lot…I learned a lot. I was humbled a lot.

And maybe sharing this will help someone.

I learned…

First and foremost, that no amount of weight loss and skinny can make a person truly beautiful. One day, after an especially frustrating morning in which I was NOT a good mommy, I caught myself staring at my reflection in the mirror and thinking about how good I looked. But the truth is? I. Felt. Ugly. I’d said things, done things that day that didn’t honor my Father and didn’t show Maelie that I loved her. I was reminded that morning (and am being continually reminded) that having a beautiful heart is so much more important than having a beautiful body.

Also? That any obsession apart from my Father is wrong. There were days when I was SO focused. I HAD to get that second workout in before I went to bed. I HAD to burn this-many calories before I could end the day. And those things? Got in the way of time I could have spent in His Word, in prayer…growing in Grace. There is nothing wrong with having a goal, but when that goal takes away from what’s really important, then it needs to re-evaluated.

I have to admit to you that I continually work on that one. Sometimes it’s hard to miss that workout or run because of something more important.

God also taught me something that I never thought I’d share here…but I feel like I should.

He gave me a glimpse of what it was like for someone who struggles with anorexia. Because I think, at one point, I was headed down that road. Every waking thought was about food. I obsessed to the point of not eating enough and working out too much. All I could think about was clothing sizes and being “skinny”…and it began to overtake my mind.

Thankfully, I recognized it…and that was totally from God. I had a pretty tough conversation with a friend, who was really gentle with me but also pretty honest. After talking with her, I knew I had to recognize the fact that this obsession could potentially be dangerous.

I don’t think I ever reached the point of anorexia, but I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I asked two friends to keep me accountable. To ask me if I’d eaten enough…and to check in on me. I needed that.

Since that time last November, God has been really good. He’s teaching me to find balance and ways to stay healthy without overly obsessing if I miss a run or eat a cupcake. (Or twelve!) πŸ˜‰ He’s working on my heart in ways that are painful but necessary. He’s teaching me so much about loving what He’s created and being satisfied in who I am.

That doesn’t mean I’m there at all…but He’s working on me.

I never understood people who struggled with eating disorders before this journey, and perhaps He gave me this glimpse to help me to be more empathetic. I get it…or at least a small part of it…now.

So often, we focus on becoming what society has termed acceptable. We have it in our head that a number on a scale is what’s most important. And it’s not. Because I’ll tell you that that number goes up and down a little. And if it goes up by two? I can’t let it ruin my day. Or my week. I just have to keep going.

I can’t think of a way to end this.

Maybe by having a good cry? (Because I could sure go for one about now!) πŸ˜‰

Maybe just to encourage you…to keep your focus where it needs to be. And if part of it is on losing weight…that’s OK. As long as you don’t forget about the other things that are important, too.

I’m really thankful for the last eight months…and for me, the hardest part is yet to come. Because, as with any goal, sometimes when you “arrive” is when you start to slack. I’m working hard to not do that. I’m also really thankful that, on this earth, we never “arrive” spiritually…He continues to mold and shape our hearts if we’ll let Him.

God is GOOD, isn’t He? Find some time today to thank Him for what He’s done. :)

Sig

Morocco Love

Ok, thanks for being so patient!

Here are the long-awaited photos from our quick jaunt to Tangier, Morocco.

:)Β 

Our transportation from Spain to Morocco, across the Strait of Gibraltar. (aka: the ferry that made me sick. ;))

Me on the ferry…smiling and determined to not lose my breakfast. It was kind of a bummer that the ferry was pretty sweet…it had a bar and cafe and tables so we could play games…had I been able to actually sit up. πŸ˜‰Β However, I can’t complain too much. The Dramamine worked and I got to enjoy Morocco.

Us at the northwestern most point in Africa. Interesting travel fact about us…we’ve now been to the northwesternmost and southernmost points in Africa, but nowhere in between. I’m thinkin’ another trip to Africa should be in our future. :)

Baby camel love. I wanted to bring him (or her!) home with me. So soft and cuddly. :)

The obligatory camel ride…that was pretty cool. Something to cross off the bucket list that I haven’t yet written. πŸ˜‰

Just a cool shot from the coast.

And another…cause I couldn’t decide between them. :)

This was, I think, taken at a different place along the tour. The water was so incredibly beautiful. (But COLD!)

Since living in Indo, I am largely unimpressed by snake shows/charmers. And, to be honest, cobras bring back memories I don’t want to revisit. However, this stop provided a cool opportunity to share with our tour guide that we’d been missionaries, and he was especially intrigued with my snake stories…never thought those would come in handy! πŸ˜‰

And…we begin the obsession with doors. :) Morocco had cool doors. This one is famous, but I can’t remember for what. But if you Google “green door Tangier”, I’m pretty sure you’ll find out why. πŸ˜‰

I’m such a dork…no idea why I was laughing. But the door is cool. :)

I like this one. The doorΒ AND me. :)

Included in our tour was an authentic Moroccan meal. The soup was ok and the bread was good. The meat was just ok. The couscous was really soggy. But this? I suppose when you cover any pastry with gooey, sugary, caramely yumminess, you’re bound to come up with a winner. Dessert was GOOD. And definitely worthy of making the blog. πŸ˜‰

So, Morocco was good…the tiny part we saw of it. Truthfully, I can’t wait to go back and explore more of it…the part that doesn’t include pushy sellers and snake charmers. I knew that once I got a taste of it, I’d want to explore more of it…so we’ll see. Maybe for our 15th, honey? πŸ˜‰

I honestly feel so blessed that we’ve had the opportunities to travel that we have. The world is so incredibly beautiful…and we highly recommend seeing it! (Well, the parts we’ve seen, at least! ;))

Thanks for looking, friends.

Coming soon: Pareeeee…and a few more from Spain.

Sig

The Best of Spain

…as promised. :)

The walkway along the beach in front of our hotel. We walked it many, many times. And isn’t the Mediterranean just beautiful? πŸ˜‰

Look! They sell white chocolate Magnums! Mmmmm….or, not really. The regular ones are much better. But we had to try one, just to say we did. The ice cream part was good.Β :)

Another pretty view. I honestly never got tired of standing on the balcony and seeing this. :)

We had chai and a latte one afternoon. I may be a cool barista, but I can’t pour a latte that beautiful.
Yet. πŸ˜‰

The “Old Town” center in Marbella…it was a cool place to walk around and explore. Lots of history there.

So, this is what we had for dinner almost every night in Spain. :)

In keeping with the food trend, this is what I had for breakfast almost every morning. Yeah, it was as good as it looks…probably better. :) Mmmmm…

Tobin took this shot from our balcony…Marbella at night. I think it’s a great picture. :)

Just a shot we took of ourselves…there are a lot of those.

Spain was cool. Very, very different from what I was expecting but still fun and an adventure we’ll always treasure.

I’d always wanted to see it…and so it was a dream come true to do just that with my man. There’s no one I would have rather shared this experience with. :)

Coming soon: Morocco Love!

Sig