adventures

Not Forgotten

February 28, 2020 by Mel · 1 Comment

There are moments in life when we feel forgotten.

This past Tuesday afternoon was one of those for me.

I was sitting in a cafe at the entrance of Machu Picchu, trying to stomach a sandwich. (That’s probably not a sentence I’ll ever write again.) The truth is that it was the middle of a day I’d looked forward to for, pretty much, most of my life, and I was sick.

Like, altitude + stomach + probably dehydration + whatever else was taking over my body and making me feel terrible, sick.

I’d made it through half of the tour we’d started that morning, after enduring the craziest (read: most puke-inducing) driving conditions I’d ever seen, along with the most beautiful train ride I’d ever taken. I’d trudged up the steps to several lookout points, taken every possible selfie with a few real smiles even, but most were half-fake. I’d pushed with everything I had, but then that moment came.

I knew that if I didn’t sit down, I’d become a tourist casualty on the steps of one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

I’ve worn a lot of titles in my life, but that’s not one I want.

And so I forced myself back down the too-many steps, managing to stay upright, found a place for something to drink where I could sit as long as I wanted, people watched, and chatted with a group of Canadian guys who had hiked for five days to just get to Machu Picchu. I kind of felt unworthy of their presence, but at least they were nice. And also, they couldn’t stop talking about how much they just wanted to sleep in their beds, and I totally agreed. 😉

And as I sat there, I started to ask why…Why, God? Why on this one day? You could’ve picked any other day, and You picked this one?

Honestly, it’s probably a little early to begin processing this. (It sort of blows my mind that I’m sitting in my Chicago suburb home only three days after this all went down.) I fought back tears as I started writing this post on my phone that afternoon, trying to answer the question I was asking Him.

Why?

I felt so forgotten in the middle of one of the things I’d hoped to do for over two decades. I’d dreamed of it. It happened…and then it didn’t. Or, at least the way I wanted it to.

And here’s the thing: I know it’s not the end of the world. In comparison to the many things others are going through or even living every single day, missing half of a tour is really nothing. This is not a pity party; it’s reflection.

I spent last week among some of the strongest, bravest, kindest people I’ve ever met, people who are living out challenges I can’t even imagine. They face hardship and with every moment, they trust God and the work He’s doing in the tiniest corners of the world, the places we’d never think to vacation or visit. (Except, now I’ll visit.) I’m sure, at times, they feel forgotten.

But they’re not, and they know it, and they have this unshakable faith in God that’s hard to put into words. It’s honestly one of the most humbling things I’ve ever experienced, to hear them share stories of their faith through things that hurt so much. It brings tears to my eyes as I see their faces and know that these are my brothers and sisters, and though miles and hemispheres separate us, God’s love doesn’t.

As I sat there and reflected (and, yes, cried a little) I was reminded that my Father always sees me. He doesn’t forget me or any of us because we’re His children.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1

One of the verses God has written on my heart is this one. I’m redeemed, I’m called by Him, I’m His. And because of that, I’m never, ever forgotten. It’s a promise I return to often and choose to trust.

In reflecting over the last few days, I’ve made peace with the things I missed out on. I’ve found smiles and sweet moments in what I did get to be part of. I’ve smiled at some of the crazy photos I’ve snapped (or others have taken) to remember these life-changing days. I’ve had a few happy tears over the friendships God has grown, over the new people He has brought into my life, people I already love and am praying for.

I have a lot to be thankful for, even in the midst of something that didn’t quite turn out like I wanted it to.

The next days will bring a lot.

And thankfully I’ve already caught up on some sleep. I’m hoping for a lot more. 😉

I’ve seen God take a missed connection and turn it into a Starbucks sipping, lots-of-extra-space flight, complete with headphones and movies…the perfect way to breathe a little before the wheels hit the runway at ORD.

I’ve seen smiles and hugs from my people, things I’ve missed so much. Because it’s true that no matter where we go, there’s no place like the home God has given us here on earth.

I’ve gone back and looked through pictures and laughed and cried and remembered and thought that maybe I’m a little crazy. But I’m not (too much, anyway)…I just love people, and God took me back to Peru to give me the chance to love even more people. That gift isn’t lost on me.

And now I get to do the work of asking Him to show me what needs to change. How do I trust Him with the life I have and also enough to be open to whatever He asks of me? How can I take my more-than-enough and use it to help others?

There’s a lot more I need (and want) to share, but first I need to process and pray (and also sleep) 😉 and ask God for what He wants from me…how I can obey Him right now.

And so, though I can’t make promises, I’m looking forward to returning to this space more often to share stories and consider things and maybe…maybe go beyond myself more than I have before.

It’s what He asks any of us, right?

So here’s to a missed tour and a day that morphed into something not at all like what I was expecting.

May I learn to find the blessing in it and remember that I am not forgotten.

None of us are.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, church, community, encouragement, family, friends, just life, prayer, remembering, travel, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Peru: On Humility, Generosity, and the Things That Change Us

February 23, 2020 by Mel · 3 Comments

Hi, friends.

So we wrapped up our official time in Lima last night, and everyone is off to the airport (or already gone) except me and Ginger. We’ll leave for Cusco later this afternoon for a few days before heading back to the States. (But not before we go for a snack run because…well, because snacks. See two posts ago.) 😀

It’s a strange sort of quiet this morning as I look around a room that‘s been filled with laughter, love, jokes, and memories…all of those things spanning just seven days that somehow felt like much more. God truly blessed us with a wonderful team, and I love each of these friends so much.

I got up before 5 a.m. to see most of the team off and also because, selfishly, I wanted one more hug and memory with each of them. And then I climbed back into my bunk bed and tried to go back to sleep, but my mind started wandering and processing all we’ve experienced.

As much as I should sleep because, honestly, there hasn’t been a lot of it lately, I guess I want one more blogging memory, too. 😉

So the coffee is brewed, I’m drinking out of the mug I’ve been using all week…and I’m hoping that maybe my words this morning might begin to give our time here some justice. Begin, at least.

Lima is an interesting city…it has so many things that other large (read: HUGE) cities do: more restaurants than I could ever visit, the crazy driving that somehow makes sense but doesn’t really at all (ask me about our last taxi ride here sometime), and so many people.

So many people.

They are what make this place what it is…a beautiful, heartbreaking, amazing city and country with maybe the kindest people I’ve ever met in my life. (And also some of the best food. I promise I didn’t come for the food.) 😉

And all of what we did here centered around people. Whether we were visiting their churches, feeding them (but more often, they fed us), teaching, going to their homes to hear their stories and pray with them, playing with the kids at the park…the people are what make Lima what it is. They are kind, generous, and open…I totally jumped on board with the whole greeting with a kiss thing, I guess because it just shows how accepting they are of others. I love how warm and welcoming they were, from the first moments we entered their churches, homes, lives.

It was instant friendship, and that will stay with me forever.

One of our first mornings here, we split into two groups and had the opportunity to visit the homes of several members of the church in Los Olivos. At the first home, we talked with a new mama while her baby napped. I was amazed, as she shared her story, at how much we have in common, and my heart went out to her as she talked about the struggles I have, too…with life and her past, with parenting, with feeling like she’s enough. The things that are universal with every mama’s heart.

A few mornings later, God set it up so I could be in a home with another mama of three, including a nine year-old girl and a three year-old boy. Again, hearing her stories and pain and joy and faith, sometimes all in the same sentence, reminded me that we’re really not so different from each other. We struggle, but we also have hope because of Jesus.

The last few days have been spent in a different part of Lima, where the challenges seemed a little more tangible. It’s pretty hard to forget walking into someone’s house with the first door being to a bedroom…and then realizing that it’s the whole house. There were beds, the tiniest kitchen area, clothes, a tv, everything this family possessed…all in a space smaller than our family room back home. Plastic stools were lined up, and they stood so we could sit.

We were given their very best.

It was humbling and it was also life-changing. I thought about the place I come from and how I don’t ever have to think about my next meal or what I’ll do if I need or want something. And yet, the poverty here is real, and it stabs a person in the heart so deeply that it hurts…maybe so we can enter into their pain just a little.

And so we don’t forget.

And beyond those struggles, we heard a father of three talk about a difficult health challenge he’s facing, and we saw his brokenness in worrying about his children. I think there were tears in all of our eyes as we listened, and then he stood there and proclaimed that, despite all of this, his Heavenly Father would take care of them because He’s the best Father, and I can’t get this man’s face or words (even if they were in Spanish) out of my head.

If anyone in the world is justified in losing hope, it would be him…but he knows and believes with all his heart that Jesus is our true hope.

And I suppose I could keep writing this morning…I could tell you more stories and talk about the amazing place called Castillo Fuerte (Mighty Fortress) and about the life-changing work being done there and about how the place is so full of love that it makes a person never want to leave. One of the teachers there asked me, when will you return?

And I told her…I want to. So much. And I meant it with all my heart. This church and school, a tiny space I’d never be able to find without a map, is doing life-changing Jesus work and families are being transformed. I hope and pray I’ll have the chance to go back (and hopefully before another twenty years pass) so I can hug these people again and see the rewards of their faithfulness.

It’s been a good week.

It’s been a hard week.

It’s been a week where the love, grace, and mercy of our Father has been so present.

There’s so much more to share, and I hope that will happen soon.

For now, it’s time to figure out how to cram everything into my suitcase and still leave room for a few souvenirs for my people. (Including snacks.) 😀

Thank you, all…for your prayers, for your support, for being part of this journey. I’m blessed.

And may I live that way, knowing how blessed I am so I can be as generous as the people I’ve met this week.

God is good. So. Good.

And I’m so thankful.

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, church, community, encouragement, family, friends, just life, prayer, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

Where Are Their God Moments?

February 21, 2020 by Mel · 1 Comment

There are moments in life that stand out to me, times when I have known, without a doubt, that God was painting a masterpiece right in front of my eyes so I’d know He was there.

I could talk about them for days, the ways God has shown up in our lives…about how He’s led us to places far beyond what we could have ever dreamed of, how He brought us to just the right place when our beyond-those-dreams life changed into a different kind of dream. How he gave us unimaginable gifts in the form of kids we thought we might never have, about how He’s provided and given and blessed.

I have no shortage of masterpieces in my life.

And maybe the first, clear one goes back to this twenty year-old girl who traipsed through jungles with a wide-open heart and let God do whatever He wanted with her life. In between the moments and memories, He pressed deeply into her heart the desire to love the people of Peru and serve them.

I remember that when I returned, I knew this was my call…to return and be in the very place I’m typing this post from tonight, twenty years later. Except it wasn’t.

And over the years, as things and seasons have changed and shifted, the painting I thought He was doing in my life changed palettes and colors. I learned acceptance and obedience as I saw Him rearrange all I’d expected and anticipated.

And yet, still…I can look back at all that and know that it’s beautiful. A masterpiece.

It’s all from Him.

I’ve talked often about how this time in Peru feels like a gift in so many ways. Just landing here, spending time with the people, getting to share the love of Jesus with them, praying over them, receiving every single one of those kisses (and boy are there a lot!) 😀 from the probably-hundreds who have greeted me…those things have been blessings beyond what I could have hoped for.

We’ve visited people in their homes, prayed with them, played games with kids and taught them lessons, talked with older people at a health clinic, wandered and explored neighborhoods with rugged beauty and heartbreaking poverty that somehow exist in the same space.

Those things and places and people are all part of His masterpieces, too, and I have struggled with that this week.

I want to write a post to you that tells all about the amazing things we’ve seen God do and how He’s worked…and He has. Oh, my goodness, has He ever.

He really has been working, and it’s been awesome to see.

But today, as I heard another mom share her heartbreaking story and follow it with hope, as we met with a man and his three children in their one room (yes, you read that right) apartment, who is dealing with unimaginable challenges…and then in practically the same breath, we heard this man preach at us about how God is faithful and provides and takes care of his children and is the best Father to us all…I found myself wondering why the redemption in these stories isn’t more tangible. Here were these people in desperate need, clinging to Truth they know and believe with all their hearts…

And why isn’t God showing up for them and providing beyond what they could ever dream?

Where were THEIR God moments, the kind where they could look back and know He was making something beautiful for each of them, too?

And then it was almost like God decided to smack me over the head in the midst of the tears that were threatening to drip…

…because wasn’t the fact that these people, who were facing such heartbreak and pain, could turn to their faith and proclaim their trust in God and all He’s promised them…wasn’t it enough?

Watching and hearing and knowing they’re living out their faith…those are the biggest God moments.

We were gathered last night as a team, along with a local pastor and his wife, having dinner…and someone told us to look out the window at the dusk sky.

I’m not sure He painted it for me…but it brought to me the reminder that God is writing each of our stories. He sees the people we’ve seen just as much as He sees me. He is present in this hillside village, just as much as He shows up in my suburban neighborhood back in Illinois.

I can trust the God who is writing my own story to write one for each of His children.

That’s beautiful. That’s a God moment.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, church, community, encouragement, just life, remembering, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

On Snacks and Language Barriers and Love

February 18, 2020 by Mel · 6 Comments

Greetings from Peru!

Before I get going too much into this post, I feel like I need to fess up to something that is totally un-holy and absolutely not why I came back to this incredible country, though you would also absolutely expect this from me:

Oh my goodness. The snacks.

I’m not gonna lie. Snacks are always a winner with me, but there’s something so fun about traveling to a new place and exploring the little corner stores and grocery stores and markets that carry so many fun things. On our first day here we wandered into one during the afternoon so I could find my beloved Inca Kola…and, praise Jesus, they make it sin azucar (without sugar) now, so now I won’t be flying on a permanent sugar high during the twelve days I’m here. 😉

Totally didn’t mean to match my Inca Kola. 😉

And, of course, while we were there, I had to take stock of the cookies and crackers, and pretty much stuffed an entire package down while I was wandering a little store in the market.

I really didn’t pop in here to talk about the snacks, as good as they are. But I’ll share some pics of my favorites later. 😉

Peru.

Here I am (we are), and it’s been hard to put it all into words, which is why it’s taken this long to get the first post up. We flew in Saturday night, and I absolutely did tear up when the wheels of the plane hit the runway, just in case you’re wondering. We arrived where we’re staying late and finally crashed after midnight.

It was a short night of sleep before we hit the ground running on Sunday morning. It was a full day…over an hour walking/bus ride to get to church, followed by cooking and serving lunch to the members of the church while Kelley gave a nutrition talk. She’d done a lot of research and spent even more time trying recipes and prepping a menu so we’d have something to work with when we got here. (And she did an amazing job!) While she shared with members of the congregation, the rest of us had our first experience of cooking in Peru. We also had some time to chat with people and get to know them. I’ve been digging deep to try to find the Spanish I used to have (and praying that Indonesian doesn’t fly out of my mouth…it has a few times already!) and it’s starting to come back. I’m thankful for that and have mad respect for people who can manage to juggle more than two languages now.

After we left church, we spent the afternoon near the coast, where we got to explore a little. We shopped a little, snack-hunted a little, gazed at the Pacific, wandered some more, and met up for dinner.

It was a great first day, and we all loved our first opportunity to see the ministry at Los Olivos and to explore a little of the city.

Monday morning was another early one…we headed back to Los Olivos (lots of walking and time on a bus), and spent the entire day visiting members. We split into two teams and went with either Pastor Walterson or Vicar Elvis and walked/rode the bus/rode a motor taxi what felt like all over town, but really wasn’t even close to that. (Lima is big. I can’t even describe how big.)

I’m honestly still processing the visits…it was truly a great day, and there are stories to tell and things weighing on my heart that remind me to pray for the people we’ve met here.

One thing I’ve been reminded of as I’ve listened and tried to translate as much as I could…

People are people no matter where you go. There’s always something we can find in common, a way we can connect and laugh and love. Right now my heart feels connected to a new mama we had the chance to visit yesterday morning. She has a baby boy and is going through the same struggles I have and still do…worrying about things, wondering if she’s a good mom, both of us trying to trust that we’re doing our best and not messing up everything. I love that we could connect through those things, even if the language barrier made it more difficult.

In all of it, love transcends language, and I think I’m going to hang on to that one as we go through the next days here.

We’re doing well and are thankful for the opportunity to be in this beautiful place with even more beautiful people.

Thanks for reading and being here.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, church, community, encouragement, Indonesia, just life, prayer, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

On Peru: Before We Go

February 14, 2020 by Mel · 1 Comment

Peru sendoff #1

In my last post I shared with you all that God did something pretty big to open a door for me to return to the country of Peru. For over two decades, it’s been a place that has been hidden in a corner of my heart where I store some of the sweetest memories of my life, memories that have shaped just about every aspect of who I am today. I spent just less than a month there, and during that time, the people captured my heart in a way that’s hard to describe.

I always wanted to go back.

And because God does His own things in His own ways in His own time (which seems to be the theme of my life, um, every single day) He decided now was the time to fling a door open. It wasn’t one I was necessarily looking for, and I think that’s what makes it so sweet. In the busyness of life with a hubby, two kiddos, and several different things that keep me busy, a mission trip wasn’t even on my radar.

And because of that, I feel like God just gave me a huge gift.

Now to Him Mel finaljpg

Two months ago I told you all about how I was raising money for the trip by selling coffee mugs, and boy did you all show up in the most amazing ways! I raised nearly ALL of what I needed to cover my plane ticket, just through friends and family, both local and online, buying these sweet little coffee mugs. (Which actually aren’t that little…and I still have a few, so let me know if you want one!)

And in addition to supporting me personally, I can’t get over how our church rallied around us and gave money, gift cards, and TONS of medical supplies, enough to fill four suitcases. Amazing! We are so blessed.

And I’m just so grateful for each of you who have given and prayed and supported, so thank you.

THANK YOU.

There are five people from my church traveling to Peru (along with four others), and last week we met for dinner and kind of a “last, what-are-we-forgetting?” chat. While we were talking, the subject of sharing this journey on a blog came up. I said I’d be happy to use this space for Peru updates in the next couple of weeks.

So that’s what I’m doing, and also…in case you haven’t noticed, you’ll get a little of my wit sprinkled in occasionally, too. 😉

So, if you’re new here, welcome! And if you’re not new here, welcome back! It’s good to have you here.

Our team is comprised of: me (of course), Ginger, Kelley, Doug, and Samantha. Ginger is a nurse and good friend of mine from church, and I’m so excited that she’s part of this team! Kelley (physical therapist), Doug (firefighter and EMT) and Samantha (who has lots of cross cultural and refugee work/experience) are all friends from church, who I’ve known through different capacities…singing on praise team, playing bells, participating in volleyball tournaments. (And they’re also husband/wife and daughter, and I think it’s super cool that they’re doing this as a family.) I think we’re a pretty fun group, and I’m looking forward to the time we’ll have together!

Peru sendoof #8(1)

We’ll also be meeting up with a doctor (Jennifer) and three missionaries from the Dominican Republic (Jamielynn, Erin, and Courtney). I’ll share more about them when I can get some photos and stories in person.

A little about what we’ll be doing: our trip to Peru is newer territory for the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS), and so the word, flexible, has been reiterated to us many times. The word, in general, just goes with missions. Nothing ever goes as planned. EVER. Or, at least it feels that way.

But our plan is to hold a Community Health Fair in two different parts of Lima, Peru. We’ll be touching on several different things…nutrition, hand washing, dental care, eye care…and helping/assisting the people who come to these fairs. I’m taking the lead on dental hygiene, which is honestly not something I ever thought I’d teach. 😉 My lesson involves eating Oreos, though, so I think the kiddos will have a good time.

We’ll all be meeting in Lima on Saturday (tomorrow!) night, and our official work there kicks off on Sunday. (Some have already arrived, and some of us are leaving tomorrow morning.

This past Sunday our church sent us off with a blessing and a prayer. That first picture will probably make me tear up every time I look at it for the rest of my life. We’re so very blessed to be surrounded by the love and prayers of this church family…and I’m just grateful to have this opportunity.

Please pray for us as we go and love the people of Peru. That’s really what it is, isn’t it? Missions is really just love.

Loving people because He first loved us.

I have no doubt in my mind that each person on our team is going for a specific and important reason, and I’m so looking forward to seeing all that God does and the ways He works. Will you pray with us?

Prayers:

–health and safety as we travel to Peru
–for the people we’ll be serving and loving to have open hearts
–for flexibility as some of the details of what we’re doing will be figured out “as we go”

Praises:

–for God’s provision for each of us to be able to go
–that God always goes with us and before us. He is so good!

Thanks, friends! I’m looking forward to sharing more stories soon!

Special thanks to our friend, Mike, for the great pictures from Sunday. We appreciate you!

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, church, community, encouragement, just life, prayer, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

On Miracles and (Coffee) Mugs

December 15, 2019 by Mel · 4 Comments

e peru final

I remember the day. It was twenty years ago this past June. (Yes, I’m old, but this particular post isn’t about that.) 😉

I stood at the edge of the Amazon River as our team got ready to board a speed boat that would take us back to Iquitos, a city in northern Peru, so we could catch our flight.

I stood there, and I said goodbye.

Wrapped up in more hugs than I could count, that goodbye brought a thousand emotions and even more tears as I watched people, who had become so precious to me in just a few weeks, wave their farewells.

It felt like a forever goodbye.

I couldn’t stop the tears, and I didn’t even try. That morning, the then-20-year-old I was grieved and sobbed over all that came with saying such hard goodbyes…the kind I’d never had to say before.

I didn’t want to go, and I didn’t want to think of life without people who’d found such an important place in my heart.

But the goodbyes were inevitable and had to happen, whether I cried or not. (So of course I let tears fall because I’m me.) 😉

When I first returned to the U.S. after almost a month in Peru, I lived every moment for the opportunity to return. I looked for ways to plan for a life there, I prayed a lot, I pushed on doors. I figured that if God had hollowed out such a deep corner of my heart for this place in the world that surely He was going to send me there.

And yet, weeks and months passed, and life went on. The ache for a life in South America remained, but it was less.

And then a year had gone by. I found myself distracted with a new ministry and student teaching, with college graduation on the horizon. Once in awhile I’d still think of Peru. But, really, the plans had stopped, and the dream I’d once had to return…was dying.

And then a year became years, and I found myself even more distracted by a guy named Tobin, who would become my boyfriend, then my fiancé, and then my husband. (And in the God-thing our relationship was, he had a love for the country of Brazil.) As we carved out the new, married-kind-of-life for ourselves, some days we’d come back to the conversation. I think we always believed we’d go back to South America.

But in the ways that God does His thing and in His sense of humor, He moved different mountains and sent us across an ocean or two instead for half a decade.

Indonesia became a forever part of our lives during the years we called it home, and I can honestly tell you I never once wished we were in Peru instead. There were times when I wondered, but I never questioned.

God’s ways had always been bigger than mine. Why would that change?

And then the Indonesia season flipped and switched to Illinois and motherhood, and we found ourselves creating a different life in an unexpected place. While there was a trip here and there to somewhere exciting, I think we’d both come to an understanding and acceptance, even, that the overseas part of our lives was over. For whatever reason, God hadn’t pressed on us the burden to go again. Yet, anyway.

And over the past decade (almost), I’ve been choosing to love (and I really DO love) the life I have here. I’ve dug deep into motherhood and friendship, community and church, and it’s been wonderful. We’ve had blessing after blessing poured out on us in this place, and I hope we’ve returned some of the blessings we’ve been given to others. We often talk about how God put everything in place, just to bring us to where we are today.

And now that I’m at today, I guess I’ll get to the point, too. 😉

I’ve been sitting on a little bit of a miracle. It isn’t really a secret, but it’s not something I’ve shouted from the rooftops yet, mostly because I’m still wrapping my mind around all of it.

A few months ago, a friend was talking about a mission trip she and her family were going on. It sounded interesting, and being the girl who loves allllll the things that involve culture and adventure, I was ready to do a flying leap right into it all. But I also clearly heard God say, No. Not yet. And so, in a very un-Mel way, I stayed quiet. 😉

A couple months later a similar conversation happened, and this time that friend told me that she kept thinking of me and she thought I should go.

Out of the 195 countries that make up this world, guess where this group was headed?

Yep. Peru.

PERU, y’all.

And even though the flying leap was again tempting, I prayed. I really wasn’t sure this was the right fit or time for me, and so I took it slow. I drug my feet, I prayed, I still didn’t apply for a passport, even though mine (I know…M.I.N.E.) was expired.

But God wouldn’t leave me alone 😉 and it seemed like, at every turn, this trip was supposed to happen.

And so I applied. Interviewed. Prayed some more. And finally committed.

And two months from today, I get to board a plane and return to this place that has been tucked away in a remote corner of my heart for over 20 years.

I’m excited, I’m nervous, it feels surreal. But everyone around me has been so encouraging, and God clearly drew this one out for me. And so, I’m going. At least, I’m planning to.

My hubby, who has been incredibly supportive, challenged me to raise the money for this trip. And I chose to take him up on his challenge in a total Mel way.

And so, I want to tell you another (shorter) story…and confess something, too. 😉

The artist in me is always doodling and drawing. And lately, some of my favorite things have been created during sermons at church. (Which I have confessed to the pastors…because I listen better when I’m drawing anyway.) About a month ago, I doodled something in between singing songs for praise team, and I loved it so much that I joked about getting it printed on a mug.

And instead of leaving it as a joke, I actually did it.

Now to Him Mel finaljpg

And so, for the first time, my art is on a coffee mug, and I sort of love it. And I’m sort of selling them, too. Or, giving them away for a donation…whatever you prefer to call it. 😉

If you’d like to support my trip (total cost will run around $1,000), I would love that. For anyone who donates $25 or more, I’ll send you one of these as a thank you. (Local friends, I’ll do $20. I just have to factor in shipping.)

Now To Him final

When I look at this mug and the artwork etched onto it, it strikes me as another God-thing. In all the times I’ve doubted and questioned, God has always been able. And He showed that by opening a completely unexpected door for me to be part of something in a place I’ve loved for so long. He didn’t do it in my timing, but He DID do it.

And I’d love for you to be part of it all.

If you’d like a mug (and to support me), you can Venmo me @barefootmel or send a check/cash. (Message or email me for my address.) And then I’ll get that mug sent off to you as soon as possible.

When we lived and worked overseas, asking for money and support was the hardest thing. I don’t love it, even if it’s for a great cause, and while I’ll happily give to others…it’s tough asking for the money. I appreciate your support, however you can give it…whether it’s through giving or through prayer or through both.

And if you do end up with one of these mugs, I hope it’s a sweet reminder that God always sees your heart and the things you hope for most.

Don’t ever doubt His ability to do above and beyond…because He IS able. Always.

Thanks for reading, friends. Thanks for being willing to still show up even if it’s been about ten months since I’ve written anything. And thanks for your prayers and support, too. Love you all!

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, friends, Indonesia, just life, prayer, remembering, travel, what I'm learning, where I am

The Dance Between Now and Heartbreak

September 7, 2018 by Mel · 15 Comments

sammy1

There was a time not so long ago when I’d sit down and the words would pour out. I’d share my heart, my life, and the flavor of coffee creamer I was currently obsessing over with anyone who might listen.

As (slightly) self-indulgent as it sounds, those were good days.

I felt like someone and something in this great, big, bloggy world…and like I might be making a tiny difference when my words were out there, perfectly crafted or imperfectly messy. Either way was ok.

They were my words.

And then the words got fewer and further between and, for awhile, almost completely stopped. There are seasons of life like that, and as the words fell off and away, much like the leaves fall from the mighty oaks in my side yard during October, I entered a season of winter. And like every season, I knew it would pass.

We moved through the pain of heartbreak over a miscarriage, the loss of our sweet first golden, a life-threatening pregnancy gifting us with unimaginable joy and total chaos in the form of a little boy, and marriage difficulties that threatened to tear us apart.

It felt as if winter were lifting just a tad, and then things got hard again. It’s not like I expected them NOT to…life isn’t supposed to be a smooth ride around a predictable, even track.

But the fog was lifting a bit, and there was some clarity. Even joy.

And every day has been a dance since then…not always the good kind, but a dance. I was never a good dancer, and sometimes I can picture myself as a ballerina, but then I laugh over the obvious grace that would not accompany me, were I to be center stage in a tutu. (BAHAHAHA!!!) 😀

K, I needed to publicly laugh that one out. Mad love to all the ballerinas out there…YOU are AH.MAZE.ING.

There’s joy some days…smiles, laughs, and I think to myself, I can do this thing. I can raise this toddler boy and love my daughter well and even be a good wife, the kind who thinks ahead on dinner and stays up on laundry and (GASP) keeps the dining room table clean.

And then there are the days when I’m not those things, and it’s hard. It hurts. And life becomes more difficult. Those difficulties aren’t earth shattering, really. Like I said, they’re life.

But sometimes, life smacks us hard.

There’s this sweet doggie boy, our Sammy, who has shared our lives and our love over the last almost-thirteen-years and has poured so much into our family just by being him, and we know the end is near. We’ve been told there’s a tumor and we’ve got months at best, and in the middle of all the other struggles, I find myself waiting for heartbreak.

And it’s so, so hard. Some days, I really have to remind myself to breathe as I look at his sweet golden face and the joy he has brought us.

I can’t imagine our days without Sammy, and yet we know they’re coming.

And it’s this kind of dance I’m tripping through right now…the kind that soaks up every single moment because we have to but knowing that things can turn tomorrow, and our hearts will shatter even more.

I hate the in-between.

And I have fought God on it with all of my being some days…yet the other days I find some type of reconciliation and cuddle my Sam a little closer and remind him that, even though he can’t hear me at all, he has been an absolute gift to us, and we love him so much. SO much.

And I’m not even sure why I’m pouring out all of this, mostly-unedited and all-messy, and sharing it today except I think it might be necessary for me as I try to figure out how to say goodbye to a constant in our lives, one who made our lives better and some days just made us smile a bit more through the dark times.

Maybe I don’t have a right to hurt so deeply, especially over a dog. But as any dog owner knows…they’re never just that. There’s a deep ache in the pit of my stomach all the time. I don’t suppose it will go away for awhile, even if there’s full surrender and even if it’s the kind that says, It’s ok, God. It really is.

Because it is.

Ok.

At the end of the day, much like the rest of us, God has always known how long we’d have this doggie boy. He knew…on that heart-wrenching day, eleven years ago (ironically, exactly eleven years ago) when I found myself, face down on the floor, pouring out my heart and begging Him for one more day with my missing dog…He knew He’d give us almost eleven years more instead.

I serve a good Father, and so even as the pit deepens and aches just a bit more and the tears fall hard and steady, streaking my eyeliner, I can cling to His goodness and know that as we face something so sad…He’s there. Has always been and will always be.

It’s the lesson I’ve always come back to when I think of Sammy…that God has shown Himself faithful, and He’ll continue to.

Maybe you’re there today, friend? I don’t know. I just know how much I need that reminder as I stroke my hand through his fur and rub his ear yet another time, hoping and praying we’ll still have tomorrow.

It’s the dance between the now and the heartbreak I know is coming. I guess we call it life?

But I’ll dance it in flip flops and jeans with tear-filled eyes and cling to the Goodness I know is my Father. May you see His goodness today, too, no matter where your circumstances find you. And may you love a little deeper, knowing it’s all a gift.

And a good gift.

Thank you, God, for Sammy and for today.

Sammy2

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, dogs, encouragement, family, Indonesia, just life, loss, miscarriage, remembering, where I am, writing

3rd and 8: A Prayer for My Girl

August 24, 2018 by Mel · 1 Comment

3rd and 8 Words final

That morning back in February of 2009, when we went in to find out the gender of our baby, my blood pressure skyrocketed so much that the nurse was worried about me. I had to try to explain to her, in Indonesian no less (and that was never very good), that my blood pressure was Just. Fine. and I was actually, possibly, and just really more nervous than I’d probably been in the HIS.TO.RY. of EV.ER.

Only a few people knew how deeply I longed for a baby girl, and that morning, that wish took over my heart. And, clearly, my bp as well. 😉 I would have loved a boy (and I certainly love the boy I now have with all my being) but there was something about the dream of a daughter…it had been there my whole life.

And so, when she said, It looks like a girl! I did two things. First, I whispered, Hi, Maelie! as the happiest tear slipped down my cheek.

And second, I didn’t believe her.

In fact, it took FOUR (yes, you read that right) ultrasounds, all with the same gender results, for me to believe that we were absolutely having a baby girl.

Really, she was a deep dream come true…one I’m not sure I believed God would give me. But He did…and I’m so incredibly thankful.

She burst into the world over eight years ago, changing us and a lot of others around her, too. She made me a mama and she has multiplied the love in our lives so, so many times over.

We are blessed.

And I don’t always gush over the beginning of a new school year anymore, at least in this space, but last week I sent her off to 3rd grade. And for some reason, my heart is still figuring out what all of that means.

She has just six years before high school and ten before she flits and flies off to spread her wings and chase her dreams. And while some days those years feel like a lot, they aren’t. Not really. Not when we think about how fast the first eight have gone.

Mae 1st Day

This summer has been a turning point for her, and all of us, I suppose. We’ve seen a bigger shift in independence and probably a few more head-butts, too. 😉 She’s making her way just like they’re all supposed to do, and I’ve had to sit back some days, breathe deeply, cringe occasionally, remember to pray, and let her be who she is.

Because who she is? Is beautiful.

Sometimes the age of eight is a challenge, but I caught myself watching her play in the yard the other day and that familiar lump found my throat and I had to take a deep breath to fight back the tears.

It’s true that when we let Him, He makes our children into exactly who they’re supposed to be.

She’s quirky and funny, she’s got a big heart and equally big emotions, and her also-big eyes still melt me every time. She cares about everyone and everything, even bugs (well, certain ones) and some days it can be a struggle to teach her to let go of the things she needs to in order to move forward.

And maybe that’s the lesson she’s teaching me in this season.

A couple months ago she and Mac were playing in the front room, and she saw a turtle out the window, trying to cross the road. She jumped up and insisted that we run outside and help it before a car ran over it. My hubby obliged, and she followed him, stopping traffic (really) to make sure that her new turtle friend was safe and sound in the neighbors’ hostas before she’d even agree to think about walking back home.

But as she went, she wept. Wailed could potentially be an appropriate descriptor. She didn’t want to say goodbye.

And I’m not gonna lie…I sorta feel like that as we are turning the page to a new chapter. I want to hang on and remember every single thing about my eight year-old, to stop time and freeze us just as we are. It’s sweet, most days anyway, and I know what to expect. I feel like I’m figuring out the Mae I have now. And while I know life doesn’t work like that and that we’ll love 3rd grade just like we’ve loved all the other stages, it’s still bittersweet.

Mae & Mac 1st Day

There will be more growing and changing, and I absolutely believe that God will keep growing her into a girl who’s kind, loving (more than she already is) even if there are bumps along the way. I have faith that He will give her what she needs to follow Him and be a light for Him every single day.

I pray a verse over my family every day, and in my heart, it’s become our family theme. We aren’t perfect, but we are His and doing our best to follow Him on the easy days and the tough ones, in the seasons when the road stretches out in a straight path and in the ones, too, when it winds so much we can’t see much ahead of where our feet are traveling.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience… And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Colossians 3:12, 14 (ESV)

And I guess that’s my prayer for her, too, today…words I want her to hang on to when she doesn’t know what to do, how to be, or who to be either.

May she always know she’s loved, chosen and His. Forever. And may she share that love with everyone else, too.

My Maelie girl,

I probably say this every year, but I can’t believe we’re here. Another year, another stage, many more milestones to come. It truly flies, this time thing, and while I want to hang on to your sweet hand with all I have, more than that, I want to see you fly. And so I’ll release my grip just a tad more in this season and let you do your thing. As you go off to the wonderful world of 3rd grade (which was one of my favorites!) know that we are always loving you, always cheering for you, and always here for you. May you choose, each day, to put on a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, patience…and above all of those things, LOVE. Love for your Father, love for your family and friends, and love for those who come into your life…because if you show love, it will change people. And God will use it to change you.

We pray that you will seek to follow Him with all you have for all your days.

Go and fly. I’ll be waiting with the biggest hug every day after school. 😉

Love, Mama

Mae & Mom 1st Day

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am

Confessions from a Tired, Whole30 Mama Who Needs to Tweeze Her Eyebrows

September 15, 2017 by Mel · 4 Comments

coffee table final
So I typed out that title and laughed a little because it’s totally and completely 100% true. The tired part AND the Whole30 part AND the part where I tell you that I have largely ignored my eyebrows for my entire life.

But I’ll get to that later.

First we must sit down with something to drink, preferably coffee since I can still drink that on Whole30…thank you, Jesus…and talk about the tired. 😉 I kind of wish we could chat it up in real life because, let’s be honest, for most of us it’s been way too long. But since this is the best we can do today…well, let’s get to it.

I was telling the sweet, fellow-mama cashier at Walmart yesterday, as she rang up my…AHEM…eyebrow mascara, that there will be a day, again, when we shall sleep. I don’t know when that day is, and it may very well be in heaven, though I’d like to think there’s hope of it happening before then. Now don’t go getting all theological on me. If God is creating a place of pure and absolute joy for us, then I have to believe there will be naps. (Uninterrupted ones with fuzzy blankets and just the right amount of darkness and rain on my mansion rooftop to accompany them.)

But, enough about heaven. For now, I’m tired.

When we had Mae, I didn’t know how good we had it. She was an instant sleeper and slept through the night, EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT., from 7:30 p.m. to 7:00 a.m., at FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS.

Let’s just let that sink in.

I thought it was normal and surely a result of reading (sort of) and implementing (kind of) this book.

Easy peasy stuff.

She has continued to sleep like an absolute champ, and while there are other things we struggle with, sleep is not one of them. Bless it all and her, forever and ever, AMEN.

Mae 7 years final (Isn’t she SO grown up? I just adore this girl.)

And then, there’s Mac…probably, and by that I mean absolutely, the happiest kid I’ve ever seen. He’ll give a smile to anyone, and he’s full of cute words and giggles and kisses and love. But sweet little smiley boy that he is, sleep is NOT his gift.

Here are the facts: I’m over-the-moon lucky to get one good nap from him a day. And nights? He almost always maxes out by 5:00 a.m.

Oh, dear Lord, I pray as I hear him whimper each morning. Aroused from sleep and aware of my insatiable need to pee, I refuse to move even the slightest. (This is helped, not at all, by the fact that he is in the alcove attached to our room. I CANNOT WAIT for our addition to be finished and for there to be a DOOR. on. his. ROOM.)

Hallelujah and another amen. 😀

Once in a very great while, he’ll have a cup of milk and go back to sleep until 6:15 or so. But not always.

And so there have been many early mornings and a tired mama often. Always, perhaps?

I am blessed by this sweet face. He is pure joy, and it’s a good thing because I would like a nap pretty much every single moment of my entire life, currently.

Mac laughing final And let’s be honest. He may be the cutest little boy ever.
(In my incredibly unbiased opinion.) 😉

The other day, I was examining the crows feet that have taken up residence in the corners of my eyes. I sort of wanted to cry as I realized that we are here, and next year my age will not begin with a three. No, no it won’t.

And while I’m planning to celebrate with a huge party of epic proportions, it’s all kind of sinking in right now.

And then there are my eyebrows, which are really close to those crows feet.

To be honest, I’ve ignored them pretty much my entire life.

Oh, I’m a makeup girl. Not a ton, but you’d better believe that there’s powder, mascara, and eyeliner involved before 8 a.m. every day. (Except Saturday.) But my eyebrows have never bugged me too much, so I just kind of left them alone.

Except now. NOW they’re changing to grayish. What on earth?!?! And I’ve been dying my hair for years because hello, genes, but eyebrows? What does one do with those?

So off to Walmart I went this week. Mac and I wandered the makeup aisles and finally found a little tube of the right color of eyebrow mascara (I. KNOW. RIGHT.) I’m probably the last person to know it existed.

And so I bought that tube, and we came home, and I tried it out, and HOLY EYEBROWS. They exist! And my daughter told me they look weird, but I’m going with the opinion of the girl who actually knows how to. use. makeup. 😉 So I think they don’t actually look too terrible, except now I can see every hair, and NOW I am going to have to tweeze them.

Yikes.

Should I wax them instead? Please send help???

And also, it would be a total injustice to my current existence to leave out the part where I also confess that it’s Whole30 time again for this girl. Friends, my jeans don’t fit. And out of all the eating plans I’ve ever done, this one helps them fit the fastest. (Even though it’s not technically a weight loss program. But let’s be honest…when you remove sugar and dairy and grains and beans and alcohol from anyone’s diet, they’re gonna lose weight.)

So, while I wait to recover my lost sleep and long for some dark chocolate and tweeze my eyebrows, you can most likely find me with a cup of black coffee and a bowl of cauliflower rice which, contrary to what everyone says, is NOT an acceptable substitute for the real thing. It tastes like…Cauliflower. Blech.

But I do like the part where I can eat bacon. So there’s that, too.

Life…it’s just a beautiful mess, isn’t it? Every day.

But then, every day, too, there are always reasons to smile. It’s September (one of my favorite months), fall is on its way…and hellloooooo to all the hoodies and boots and things that can be made pumpkin spice, even if they shouldn’t be. 😉 Why can’t we just live in September all the time?

The kiddos are growing, changing, becoming even more of who God made them to be. Hubby and I…we’re good, too. Still growing in Him and in life and in marriage. Perfect, no…but He’s not done working on us yet.

Community still continues to be a precious gift…a beautiful one that is sometimes a challenge but always a blessing. The roots for our family are being dug even deeper, and the joy that comes from anticipating a lifetime in this place is good. He’s good.

And I’m thankful that, despite horrible sleeping patterns and funky eyebrows and a bit of a pudgy belly that spills over the top of my jeans…that God meets me anyway.

He loves me despite those and in spite of me and the way I run ahead of Him often and try to do things my own way and, instead, just end up making a mess of things.

And I wasn’t really planning on ending up here today, but I did. And so I’d like to share this with you.

One of my dreams is coming true this year.

AMTB_PreOrder_Square final

I’m over-the-moon humbled and so very grateful to be included in this book as an author. And there’s a part of me that does an inner, WOOHOO!!! scream every time I see the cover, but honestly, letting it sink in makes my eyes well up with tears, too. The happy kind.

It’s one that’s for people like me…the ones who want to follow Jesus and make him their all every single day, even in the middle of the mess.

You can pre-order it here, and if you do, you get that super cute mug FREE from Dayspring, too. (Ummm…yes, please!) I feel like you kinda can’t lose with extra time with Jesus and another cute mug to drink coffee out of. (And mine will have creamer in it in 25 days, too!)

You know what? You all bless me, just for taking the time to read the random words that spill out of my heart through my fingertips. I may not ever author a published novel or be a storyteller who goes viral, but I’m a writer, and it’s very much a piece of what defines me. I’m learning to speak that and believe it.

And so it means the world when you read my words.

Blessings, hugs…and may you go eat a piece of chocolate for me today since I can’t. 😉

Happy Friday!

Filed Under: (in)courage, adventures, being mommy, blessings, coffee, community, encouragement, family, friends, just life, Mac, Maelie, marriage, reading, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Thoughts and Favorites (+ a Giveaway!)

February 27, 2017 by Mel · 45 Comments

almostspring

Or, we could just call this piece the everything-all-at-once post.

😉

As usual, it’s been too long since I’ve found this place. Life just keeps zipping by, and I can’t believe it’s almost March and that I have a seven month old.

Time can slow down Any. Day.

I started writing a pretty deep post last night…and when I hit 1,400 words and was still only about half there, I decided maybe now’s not the time for (too) deep thoughts. Though there’s plenty of rambling going on here.

You’ve been warned. 😀

But occasionally I have a day when there are a zillion thoughts swirling that aren’t as deep, and so why not hit the blog? Mac is napping, it’s a beautiful sunny day, and I’m basically killing time until we can sneak out for a walk. (And last week when we had those gorgeous, basically-spring temps? It was Mac’s first time sitting up in the stroller and…OH. MY. HEART.)

Mac in stroller

But back to writing…the honest truth is that I’ve been pretty quiet the last year. It felt like the internet was so, SO noisy, and I just felt overwhelmed even entering conversations. And so I’ve hung back and learned to be still and listen more…and it’s been really, really good. Mostly.

But writing is the one thing I don’t want to be too silent on. Sharing words gives me life. I’m not ready to hang up this place yet.

So I’ll keep running back to it and finding words when there are some.

I also haven’t done a favorites post in forever, so I thought I’d do that, too. You know, because sometimes it’s just good to catch up on life, if not for the good of everyone else, at least for me. And how about a giveaway? Cause I love a good one. (Keep going.)

READ

I’ve been reading a lot.

Mostly the Bible…I started the beginning of the year in 1 Samuel, and I decided to just read straight through. Some days it’s eight chapters (usually not, though) and some days it’s two. I’m just trying to open my Bible more…and I’m finding that, for the first time in my life, I’m enjoying it. That sort of makes me sad to say, especially after five years of Bible college, but it’s pretty true.

I’m thankful that God doesn’t give up on us.

He’s renewing my heart and showing me a deeper relationship with Him.

I’ve been reading through a couple other books, too…slower than normal, but sometimes I can’t process it all at once, ya know? 😉

The Broken Way (Ann Voskamp) is amazing. I got so excited when it came out that I ordered a few copies. And the study guide. And the DVD. So if you’re local, there might be a Bible study coming up sometime.

Uninvited (Lysa TerKeurst) This one just speaks to the season I’m in right now. Some relationships are a little up and down/confusing, I’m not sure where I fit anymore, and I need the reminder that God wants me…even on the days when no one else does. Maybe we all need that reminder?

WEAR

I’m a sucker for cute hoodies, and I’ve loved Evy’s Tree since I first heard about them. Their hoodies are awesome quality but a little on the expensive side…but once in awhile, I splurge.

cutehoodie

I spent some of my Christmas money on this beauty, and I think it was worth the splurge. It screams spring, and I love that, until I tone the last bit of my baby belly, it hides it all…well, when I zip it up anyway. 😉 Plus, it’s just cute. If I had an endless cash flow, I would buy ALL. THE. HOODIES. But I don’t and that’s probably better for everyone. And yes, yes I do take pics late at night with messy hair and smeared makeup and a wrinkled shirt. That’s just how I roll.

Speaking of toning a baby belly (and not speaking of hoodies) I finally, for the first time ever in the U.S., joined a gym. I’ve been doing a 5:45 a.m. spin class twice a week…and oh, boy. Once I get there, it’s actually enjoyable. (And sweaty) The dragging myself out of bed at 5:15? Notsomuch. But it’s good for me, and it’s one way I can take care of me.

Another thing I’m still loving…earrings. ALL the earrings. 😉 And though I typically gravitate toward the bigger-and-more-dangly-the-better, kind, my most recent pair from Fair Trade Friday kind of has my heart. And the story behind these brings tears to my eyes, too.

FTF earrings

So I’m breaking my rule and wearing them anyway and totally loving them.

And should you want a cute pair of earrings in your mailbox every month, go here. It’s the best $13 I spend every month…and every pair comes with a story of redemption. That’s just cool.

WATCH

Other than This is Us (and we’re two episodes behind, so SHHHHH!) or some HGTV here and there, I’ve barely turned on the TV in weeks. I go in spurts…lately I’d just rather read or create or get something done around the house.

Maybe I’m getting old. 😉

The truth…and this isn’t the first time I’ve shared this here…is that the “older” I get and the older Mae gets, the more there’s a filter on what comes into this house.

I didn’t always filter what I watched, but especially now it just seems like there’s so much garbage out there. I don’t need all kinds of bad language going into my head, and I don’t need sexual references in just about every show there is. Sometimes I feel like an old prude for voicing all of that. And some days I miss watching Friends, too. (Honesty here.)

But God has been working on me in a lot of ways, and one of those is praying for the strength through Him to make choices that honor Him. So I don’t apologize for trying to do the right thing…the right thing for me and my family. I’m definitely not perfect at it. (No judgment here on what’s right for everyone else.) It’s tough some days, though…and I think it’s ok to admit that, too.

I’m itching to take a trip…it’s been a few years since we’ve left the country, but it’s not gonna happen this year. We’re currently having our garage door replaced, and that desperately needed to happen. (Ask me sometime about the morning I spent three minutes, when we were already late, trying to get the stupid thing to stay down.) 😀

AND…since Mac was a boy instead of a girl, we need another bedroom. 😉 And I LOVE that he’s a boy, but facts are facts. So we’re (hopefully) adding a two-story addition to our house. I’m super excited for an extra family room, a bigger bedroom for him and us (with a walk-in closet and little sitting/writing/drinking coffee area overlooking the river) and just more space.

I guess we finally dug those roots down deep. It feels good.

And also, we’re never moving. Ever.

indo green

And the truth is that, most days, I’m sure of that. I don’t usually miss Indonesia anymore.

But I did today. I saw a picture that brought back a memory, and it was hard and the ache was deep. And, again, I had to breathe and wrap my mind around the fact that the Indonesia part of our life is over.

Forever.

It won’t ever be again, even if there are trips back to visit. Life there has changed and gone on and morphed into something that isn’t the Indo we lived. It’s good because life has to keep going and kids need to know our Father, but sometimes it hurts that we aren’t there for it all.

But we know we’re where we need to be, and so…hello, house addition.

As I look out the window and see the sunshine coming through bare branches, it calms my heart and reminds me, once again, that my God is so very good.

Even in the changes and the unknowns and wonderings. Even if, sometimes, we have to stop and just give thanks for what was, what is, and what’s to come…even if, and especially when, we don’t feel gratitude.

I wonder how many times I can share this song on one blog…but it’s a perfect metaphor for life and it resonates so much right now.

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced,
Teaching us to breathe.
And what was frozen through is newly purposed,
Turning all things green.
So it is with You and how You make me new
with every season’s change;
And so it will be, as You are recreating me…
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring

And how ’bout a giveaway? Nothing like changing the subject. 😉

Presents are my love language and I just feel like brightening someone’s day. So I fell in love with this Pioneer Woman mug at Walmart a few weeks ago. (Yes, you read the Walmart part right. I’m currently on a stay-out-of-Target-for-the-sake-of-our-budget kick. And I’m doin’ good.) 😉

giveaway2017

So I’m giving away this mug, some of my favorite coffee (try it with some vanilla almond milk…YUM!) and this chocolate because duh. Chocolate. And a cute pair of fair trade earrings that came in my box last month…they weren’t as much my style, but they’re still stinkin’ cute and someone out there needs them.

Wanna win?

Leave me a comment here or on facebook and tell me something. Anything. A blessing, a smile, a way I can lift a prayer for you. I’ll pick a winner Wednesday night.

That’s it.

I hope your week is overflowing with blessings, friends. Happy Monday!

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, fashion, giveaway, Indonesia, just life, Mac, Maelie, random, reading, where I am, writing

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3rd and 8: A Prayer for My Girl

Confessions from a Tired, Whole30 Mama Who Needs to Tweeze Her Eyebrows

Thoughts and Favorites (+ a Giveaway!)

Mel

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