There’s a scene that greets me every morning, usually before six, that looks something like this.
For a coffee guzzler drinker like me, this particular scene could be considered tragic…because it means I actually need to get up out of my chair, leave my blanket behind, and shuffle to the kitchen for a refill. Yes, I’m freezing in the morning and am usually wrapped up as much as possible while I do my Bible study… 😉
That refill? It’s just what needs to happen because I know it’s not good for anyone…and I do mean anyone…if I choose to face by day with just one cup of caffeine. 😉
Maybe that was a bit of a stretch…but it’s so fitting for where my heart sits right now.
I am totally that empty coffee cup, the one with just the last few drops left…the one that is begging for a refill, for the good of everyone.
Friends, my words are gone, and I feel like I’m running on the fumes.
It’s been that way for the last few weeks as I’ve tried to write, tried to share…and nothing comes.
It frustrates me…I compare myself with others who are so good, with those who manage to string such amazing words together for days in a row, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
Which also tells me something…that, potentially, I’ve found too much of my identity in being a writer and not enough in being His daughter.
So there are facts. A lot of them.
I’m writing a book. Actually, it’s written. (I’ll still shout out an Amen! for that one. It feels good. ;))
But, more accurately, I’m writing a book proposal. (Or trying to.) Yep, this wordless thing also carries over to proposals, and I’m currently staring down a 15-day deadline. (Double yikes.)
The timing for this whole where-are-my-words? thing isn’t great. All year I’ve been looking forward to this amazing blogging conference…the one where I will have a chance to learn from and connect with so many awesome women and friends, in real life, that up until now I only know through computer screens. There’s also the opportunity to talk with publishers…kind of a necessary step toward becoming published. And here I am, throwing myself into a mix of writers when I don’t feel like one myself.
I know it’s a lie…one that the enemy desperately wants me to believe. One I can’t choose to believe. I can’t.
Because there’s also Truth.
A lot of it.
The truth is that I’m a bit empty…in a dry and desperately-needing-a-refill season. The kind where I spend more time soaking up than pouring…and though it’s hard, I have to continually tell myself that it’s not bad.
The truth is also that there are times…like now…when He asks me to sit at His feet and just be. To wait and listen and still praise…and be filled with Truth and His love and rest in the fact that I’m His daughter and that His plan for me will be fulfilled when it’s time.
I know this time of filling is so important…but it’s not what I had planned on for this season.
I had planned. No surprise to Him, though.
So I got up again this morning. Shuffled to the kitchen. (Yep, totally wrapped in my blanket…the turquoise and brown zebra print one, since I know you care about such details… ;)) Made the coffee. Sat down with my first mug and open my Bible. It’s 6:05 a.m. and the scene above is staring me down right now.
I think it’s time for a refill.
**************************
Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.
Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.
“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.
Wishing you all a great day! If you’ve got time, I know you’ll love the stories my friends are sharing today! You can click on the link below to find them. 
Mel, just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug on this chilly morning. I’m so excited about your book (and proposal) and will be praying that you find the words you need to complete it, as well as the rest, filling, and nourishment you need at the upcoming Allume conference. Man, I wish I was going to get to join you there to hug you in person! Your words always bless, and as you take a step back for some time to rest in His presence, I pray that you’ll be overwhelmed with His love and covered in His grace. Wishing you a beautiful day.
Oh, I wish you were going to be there too, friend…I can’t wait for the day we can exchange an (in)RL hug.
Thank you for your sweet words and for the blessing you are!
Dear Sweet Mel
Nothing wrong for feeling this way! Remember that we all go through these seasons and every season brings its own new beauty to our hearts. So drink a few refills and rest in your Pappa’s presence!
Blessings XX
Mia
Thank you, dear friend…you are always such an encouragement. Blessings and hugs to you!
Love this.” …I’ve found too much of my identity in being a writer and not enough in being His daughter.” When we came back to the states, some loving friends gave us an article that basically said ‘Everything is going to change. What you do has changed. But who you are in Christ has not. You need to remember your identity is based on that. ” I’ve found it very encouraging when we’ve faced life shifts to remember that my identity isn’t based on a job title, or what I have done. It is who I AM in Christ. Thanks for the reminder, sweet friend, and praying for your words. They will come. 😉 Much love.
I love that…thank you for sharing.
And thank you for the prayers, too…you are such a blessings, sweet friend. Love to you!
“The truth is also that there are times…like now…when He asks me to sit at His feet and just be. To wait and listen and still praise…and be filled with Truth and His love and rest in the fact that I’m His daughter and that His plan for me will be fulfilled when it’s time.”
You got the words Girl! This resonated with me and I’ll remember it when I’m plum out of words myself. Thank you
You’re welcome, friend…thank you for the sweet encouragement today. Blessings!
Mel, refill or no, written words or no, you are starting your day with God! I pray He fills you up completely and to overflowing, and this burnout you are feeling will be once again ignited into flames for the passionate person you are. I also pray you have a blessed time at your conference — a well deserved break and community with like-minded women may be just what the doctor ordered!
Thank you, friend…you are such a sweet part of my life. Thankful for you!
Oh I know those empty days friend… and you are so brave, so, so brave for writing courage here. Praying for you sweet friend, that God would fill you up to full and brimming over.
Thank you, friend, for your words of love and encouragement. You bless me so much, and I can’t wait to hug you!!! (15 days!!!)
Oh how I have missed you! I have been feeling a little out of sorts myself as well. But I am believing that sooner than later, He’s got big plans
Love to you sweet friend!
Thank you, sweet friend! I always smile when I see that you’ve visited and left some comment love. Praying your week is a wonderful one!
How timely your words are for what we’re reading in Ephesians. Hang in there, friend. The refill always comes.
Thank you, Kristin…I was thinking that as I read morning, too. Blessings to you, sweet friend!
Mel, A book (and proposal) ??? How did I miss this? Maybe I knew it but it got lost but either way I am so excited for you. Today I am praying that God gives you all the words you need.But for now it seems He is calling you to find some rest. I wish so much I could attend Allume if for no other reason than to give you a big hug.
Thank you for your prayers, friend! I know He’s got this…and I need to rest in that. (And physically take that rest, too!) Sending you a hug and waiting for the day it can be an (in)RL one! Love to you!
Oh wow! You just reminded me that I should be studying and meditating in the morning too. Well, not that I need reminding. There’s that stab of guilt each time I pass it over in order to get out early enough to beat the traffic. Do you do your bible study every day? I am so challenging myself to get up early and do my studies too. I’ll have to take a photo of my altar and books early in the morning to post. I will indeed do that and link you in.
Thank you for the reminder.
Absolute best of luck with the book proposal. I am looking forward to having a published (hopefully signed?) copy of the finished product in my hands some day soon, then! You go!
I usually get up around 5:15, though I had a couple mornings this week that were closer to six. As much as I’m not a morning person AT ALL 😉 my day is a lot better when I’m up and ready to go before my daughter. And thank you, too…absolutely you will get a signed copy! I hope that day is soon, but I’m leaving it in His hands. It will happen when it’s supposed to.
Blessings, friend…hope you’ve had a great week!
Mornings and I have never been friends. I can only have a coherent conversation with someone at 11.
Mel,
Twitter gave me your name. So that’s something to thank Twitter about.
I understand the lies of the Enemy – don’t believe them – you are a writer. When you can write from the heart as you just did. So go take that time with Jesus – rest in Him. Claim the gift of writing He has given you. Then believe it.
Now – go write that proposal.
Many blessings,
Janis http://www.janiscox.com
Thank you for the encouragement, Janis!
Well, the book proposal is moving forward. (Slowly, but better than not at all!) It will get there, and when it’s finished, I know I’ll wonder why I let it freak me out so much, too. 
Blessings to you…thanks for stopping by!