A New Favorite Song

July 11, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Tonight will be short and sweet.

I had a really great workout with friend s

tonight and now

am enjoying a little “me” time before it all starts again tomorrow.

:)

Laura Story’s song, Blessings, has been a chart topper for a couple months now. I like it still, even though I think it’s slightly overplayed right now. But the message remains the same, and it’s changing people’s lives…that’s what’s important.

A few days ago, a friend posted another song of hers on Facebook, Grace,  and I love it…maybe even as much as Blessings. I think  it’ s becau

se of the place I am in life right now.

Fixing some things.

Trying to refocus.

And definitely leaning heavily on His grace.

But give it a listen…good stuff. Really good.

Have a blessed night!

 

 

 

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, music, where I am

Mohon Maaf Lahir Batin

July 10, 2011 by · 5 Comments

I learned a lot about the Indonesian culture while living there.

One of the most enlightening times was during Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting. During this month (for those of you who are unfamiliar) Muslims don’t eat from sun up to sun down but instead focus on prayer and spirituality. (Most don’t even drink water during this time.)

The month concludes with Lebaran or Idul Fitri, a huge all-night celebration. This day is considered the mark of a new beginning or “new year”.

Along with this celebration is a ritual (?) that really makes me think and consider my actions and relationships. They say the following phrase to each other:

Mohon maaf lahir batin…Which translates, roughly, to, “Please forgive me for anything I may have done wrong in the past.”

I like it…a chance to make things right and to start over. An opportunity for each person to be intentional in asking for forgiveness and reconciling with those closest to him/her.

A couple days ago I talked about refocusing my thoughts and words, and I’m praying that it happens. I know it won’t be overnight, but I can work on little things.

And one thing I know I can do is apologize.

I know I get dramatic, heated, and opinionated…and while I believe there can be times when those are ok, I also know I exhibit those characteristics far too often…and crush the toes of others as I spout my thoughts and emotions.

So, Mohon maaf lahir batin. Please forgive me if I’ve said or done anything to offend you either through this blog or otherwise. It was not my intention.

I’m being shaped, pounded, and molded right now…and like it or not, I know it’s needed if I’m to be the person God created me to be.

Thanks for being part of the journey.

I truly am grateful for each of you.

Sig

Filed Under: what I'm learning, where I am

Little Blessings

July 9, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Today was full of them.

:) Blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

:) A late birthday gift for Mae that came in the mail.

It really made me smile.

:) A short but sweet visit from Tobin’s cousin and his wife…which included lunch at my favorite place.

So good to see them and chat for a bit.

:) Another late birthday gift for Mae and the cutest v ase ever

as a housewarming gift for us.

Thinkin’ we need to go buy some flowers soon.

:) Going to Immanuel’s Summer Youth Theater production of Alice in Wonderland with a friend. It was a really good show, and it made me smile again.

:) A napless wonder of a daughter who was so happy to see me when I came upstairs to rescue her from her crib. That smile melts my heart every single time.

:) Watching Mae take three steps while holding on to her push toy.

So, so close!

Any day now!

:) Managing to come up with something for dinner without going out to get anything.

:) A daughter who loves Little House on the Prairie as much

as I do. (Yeah, I’m addicted.)

:) Frisbee tossing with my man.

:) Letting my heart hurt over things…and being able to give them to God.

:) Feeling blessed with where we are in life. It’s good. So is He.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, random

Searching for Importance

July 8, 2011 by · 6 Comments

Today I read possibly the best blog post ever.

It made me cry, it made me think, it made me re-evaluate everything.

You should take a few minutes and read it here. (Plus, if you don’t, then you won’t have a clue what I’m talking about.

:))

****************************

At the end of January I embarked on an adventure. In the past, my adventures have taken me around the globe, pushed my limits, and stretched my emotions. And for this latest adventure, I decided I needed to spend a year blogging my life…the ups, the downs, the joys, the sorrows, the smiles, the tears…the memories.

I just passed the five month mark, and other than a couple of days of giving myself a “pass”, I have blogged my heart out on virtual paper for the world to read every day. The thing with that

? Is that you get me on the good days, the bad ones, the ugly parenting days, the ones when Maelie has been a train wreck, the ones when I’ve been one, too. You also get me when my heart is fragile, when I’m over the moon, when Tobin and I have had a huge blowup, and when I can’t figure out who I am.

And you get a lot more, too. :)

The problem I have with all of that…the world doesn’ t read i

t. Some people do, but not nearly enough…at least in my m

ind.

I let it bug me a lot more than I

let on.

There’s an unwritten expectation in the blogging world that is hard to define. I believe it is best said that when a “wannabe” writer like myself starts a blog, he/she dreams of having a huge audience, tons of comments, and (eventually) generating income.

Hey, we can all dream. :)

But that’s not reality for most of us.

When I started the blog, I had lofty dreams. (insert sarcasm…just lettin’ you know :)) I mean, I’m funny, I’m witty, I’m a great writer…or at least I think I am sometimes. Why wouldn’t anyone want to read what I have to say? Um…

Because there are a lot of people out there who have a lot to say.

And what they have to say is far more interesting than the thoughts swimming around in my head that eventually make it to the blog.

For me, my blog was a search for importance in the midst of the biggest life changes I’d ever experienced. I was trying to figure out being a mommy (still am!), trying to find a place in a community I loved (still do!) but didn’t necessarily completely belong in yet, and trying to wrestle through the emotions of leaving behind one world for another.

I wanted to be someone important, someone who could change the world, even if I wasn’t on the other side of it anymore.

I was searching for validity in all the wrong places…from friends (in-person and online) who might offer some encouragement (and comments!) to other blogs that might let me guest-write.

There’s nothing wrong with that…as long as I don’t find my fulfillment in them.

Somewhere in those five months of hashing out my convictions, dreams, disappointments, victories, and failures, I lost sight of the real point of my blog…and of my life.

To glorify my Father.

The One Who said, Hey, I’m going to give this girl a teeny bit of writing talent. I want her to use it for Me.

It’s almost as if I threw it back in His face as if to say, No, I’ve got this all figured out…and I’m going to do it my way.

****************************

The author painted such a beautiful picture of following Christ in relation to blogging, and it doesn’t involve having a bunch of followers.

Growing closer to Him, that’s what I want.

Tonight I will be honest and tell you that I feel like a failure as a blogger, but more importantly, as a Christian. I’m continually thankful for the promise that His mercies are new every morning…especially today.

Because I need that promise more than ever right now.

Father, take away the need I seem to have for readers, for comments, for drama. Replace those things with a heart that wants to follow You.

Guard those thoughts that turn into words that don’t bring You glory. Squelch my unnecessary drama and teach me to wait before I spill those emotions.

Teach me to use my words to bring You glory and to be satisfied with what you give…two readers or two thousand.

Amen.

Sig

Filed Under: what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Stay

July 7, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Our friends/neighbors left on a mission trip yesterd

ay to Ecuador. They’ll be gone 2 1/2 weeks along with another adult and several teens.

I’ m happy for the

m. They just ooze passion for God and want to serve Him, and while I’ve never seen them with their teens, I have seen them with the kids in the neighborhood. They’re amazing.

But I have to admit that

as I watched them go…figuratively–there was no way I was gettin’ up at 4:30 a.m. to see them off!…there was a twinge in my heart.

Of jealousy?

Of pain?

Of sadness?

I really don’t know.

Here’s the thing. I’m not used to seeing other people go; I’ m used to being the one who goes.

That world out there is what changed my heart and my life…and I can’t get enough of it. As much as we truly believe we are supposed to be here for now, sometimes I remember those things that come along with going…

That last statement is still true when I think of our future.

Only, instead of the adventures that lie within the word, “Go”, they now lie within the word, “Stay”.

He says to us, Make my name known here.

You are here for such a time as this. You are called, you

are chosen, you are loved, you are mine. I love you with an everlasting love, and you can make disciples right here in your own country.

( Pardon my paraphrasing.

:))

The word stay is foreign to me. And yet, it holds an unknown factor, something that does still create a spark in me. I wonder, I dream…

And while there is a twinge of jealousy for those who get to go, doing what He has called me to do is far more important and truly is what burns in me right now, even if there is sometimes sadness.

I live, I love what is now…and my heart’s prayer is to be content in that. He has given that.

If, for some reason, I may Go again…I will pray to be content in that, too.

But for now, I will Stay.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, what I'm learning, where I am

UNchange

July 6, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

My heart’s been going through a lot lately, some of which I can’ t even effec

tively describe.

It’s not like it’s drama…it’s not really even a big deal. It’s not sad, it’s not stressful, it just is.

Oh, I don’t know

what it is.

Maybe…silly? Anyway, it’s something I don’t really expect most people to understand, but I’ll talk about it anyway ’cause it’ s my blog.

:)

A lot of it has to do with a lack of change,

something my hubby and I chatted about last night.

A lack of change.

Dude, Mel, do you realize how much change you’ve gone through in the last yea

r?

Yeah, I know.

In our married life, Tobin have been the picture of what a constantly changing life looks like.

Year #1…he got laid off, job search, job switch for me. Oh, yeah, we were getting used to being married, too. 😉

Year #2…new job for him, new job for me.

Year #3…two jobs for him, another new one for me, selling everything, moving to Indo.

Years #4-8…Indo, which was full of constant change.

Year #9…EVERYTHING changed.

And now we’re going into Year #10. And other than buying a house, nothing’s changing.

It is the strangest, most unimaginable thing for us to consider committing

to one place for a long time. (I guess we’re past considering…it’s reality. :))

It’s kind of freaky to me when I consider settling down for good.

Don’t get me wrong…this is something we’ve dreamed of and hoped for…and are excited for.

But it feels like such a huge commitment.

Is it normal for someone to feel that way?

It’s something so strange that I almost can’t talk about it because I don’t want people to think I’m weird.

I guess for us…the fact that life is NOT changing? Is our change.

See if you can wrap your mind around that one.

:)

Please pray for us as we finish up the last things toward purchasing our house. Financing is figured out (Praise God!) so now we’re just waiting on all of the papers for closing to be finished, then we’ll sign them and finally be homeowners! Exciting stuff ahead…even if it’s not really change.

So many blessings to count. He is so Good.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, where I am

What a Find!

July 5, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

So Mae and I were browsing Target today. Yeah, we do that often, but today we actually had a purpose for being there, and it was NOT to buy anything big for ourselves.

We were lookin’ for a baby gift. :)

While we were trying to decide which cute baby toy to buy, my eyes glanced over at a lone bib hanging in the clearance section. One thing Mae has plenty of

? Bibs.

But this one…

I. Could. Not. Resist.

( This was  the best I could do.   It says "Star of Mommy's Blog")

Seriously.

So incredibly perfect!

Yes, I just showed you this picture.

Yes, I am slightly embarrassed that you are seeing this.

Yes, it now proves that I do NOT need to look perfect in every photo to share it with the world. And yes, it defin

itely warrants an explanation.

The look on my face? Let’s fake being happy so we can finally get this picture right after several failed attempts!

Or something like that…

The look on her face

? Clearly, I am not happy about this. Can we just be done already?

Grumpy or not, the bib was one of my favorite finds so far.

I think Target knew I was coming!

Love.

G’nite!

Sig

Filed Under: Maelie, random

Happy 4th!

July 4, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Happy 4th of July!

Instead of blogging, I spent the day with my awesome husband, adorable daughter, and wonderful friends.

It was a great day. :)

I hope you all had a memorable 4th!

Sig

Filed Under: just life, uncategorized

Uninspired

July 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Lately I’ ve felt uninspired.

I’m not exactly sure what inspired for me is, anyway.

:) On the days when I have a great idea pop into my mind for a blog post, inspiration will take off, and I can usually come up with something I like.

I write what I feel, and it’s a good feeling…at least most of the time.

Sometimes writer’s block hits, but I wouldn’t define that as being uninspired…usually the ideas are

there, just the words to describe them are lacking.

But lately I’ve just felt dry…like I’m living in a desert of meaningless words and thoughts.

It stinks.

Even with the Fourth of July being tomorrow, I just don’t have any profound thoughts.

It’s almost like I’m too tired to think…and to be honest, sleep does sound more appealing than just about anything right now!

:)

So…admitting that this is completely NOT meaningful…this is what I’m posting.

Hopin’ for some inspiration tomorrow…do ya think a two hour parade in the hot sun will provide some

?

Happy 4th, everyone!

Sig

Filed Under: where I am

Spaghetti Face Steals the Saturday-Blog-Post Show

July 2, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Ok…so it has been a good week, mostly.

Lots of good stuff…my hubby had a birthday, some good friend time, excursions for me and Mae, laughs and memories, and…of course, the house.

THE HOUSE!

Can ya tell I’m still excited about that one?!

Thought so.

For the most part, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous, too.

I love an upper 70’s/lower 80’s day. That is just perfection in my mind. Today was a little too hot, but it gave me a taste of my Indo weather, so who am I to complain?

Today ended up being a pretty good day even if it started off rough. (And early.)

I woke up with a killer headache around 6:15. The kind that you go to bed with the night before, hoping and praying that you can sleep it off, but it only gets worse.

That kind. It was so bad that even though Maelie was up, I followed my husband’s orders, took five Ibuprofin (I NEVER take more than three…), and crawled back into bed.

An hour later? Headache gone. Thank You, God!

We kind of took our time getting ready for the day.

We took Maelie for a walk, brought her home and let her swim in her sandbox (yeah, yeah, yeah…but how many one year olds do YOU know who know how to properly play with sand?!), and then we headed down to the Farmer’s Market in East Dundee. It was hot. And we walked around for about 30 minutes before giving up, grabbing some lunch, and heading home.

Maelie took a nap for over two hours and so did mommy and daddy. Once we were all awake, we played outside, swam some more, and a friend brought us a couple tomato plants so Mel can attempt to actually grow something in her yard/keep something alive. Wish me luck!

Then we went out for dinner to The Village, a place that friends had recommended.

We tried the double decker pizza, and it was good, but I was so stuffed when we left that it was painful.

We made a quick s top after dinner and then came home and some more good friend time before Mae headed

to bed.

But was MY day over

? Heck no…I went to Target, grocery shopping, and now…at 10:30 p.m., I am blogging. :)

You know, when I read over everything we did today, I actually feel a teeny, tiny bit accomplished.

(Oh, and I did laundry in there, too…so there’s some more accomplishment.)

Really, it was a great day. I love days when we just are. We h ang out

as a family, kind of take things as they come, and make memories.

Oh, and here is a memory…even if it’ s from la

st night.

At supper we let Mae eat spaghetti on her own for the first time.

This is what she looked like!!!!

We had a good time laughing with her, and I am SO glad we’ve got pictures to document this. Oh, she will so love us when we pull out this photo when she brings her boyfriend home to meet us someday.

:)

Thank you, God, for memories, laughs, fun, friends…and family.

We are so blessed.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, Maelie, random
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