Rejected…Again

May 11, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

😉

Tonight after I picked him

up from work, Tobin and I headed to church for the blood drive being held there.

We have both donated blood quite a bit in the past, minus the five years we spent in Indo.

Really, neither of us have a reason NOT to donate.

We can handle the needle stuff, we’re both healthy, and we

both have good veins. (In fact, nurses used to comment on how quickly I could fill up that bag with blood. True.) And strangely, I find watching them put

the needle in my arm fascinating.

(I know, I know.)

We went through the initial Q & A, and I met the requirements, but Tobin almost didn’t. He hasn’t been back from Indonesia for quite a year, but in the end because of where in Indo we were, he got to give.

But I didn’t.

You know the dreaded finger prick

? (Yeah, that’s the worst part!) Both times they tried, my iron was too low.

So I was rejected.

Bummer.

Truthfully, I tried to laugh it off, but I was frustrated.

Mostly frustrated that I hadn’ t ea

ten a steak before I tried to give. :)

I supposed it could be worse. I mean, there are much more horrible things than not being able to give blood, right?

But to me, donating blood is a small way to be Christlike.

Maybe that pint of blood I give every once in awhile will play a part in saving someone’s life.

Just like the blood he shed saved me.

Life will go on today even though they wouldn’t take my blood.

But without the blood of my Savior, life wouldn’t go on.

Today I was rejected. (In a small, insignificant, almost silly way.)

But please don’t reject him. Because the blood he gave was the most precious gift in history.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, uncategorized, where I am

Heart Changes: A Guest Post

May 10, 2011 by · 4 Comments

Today I am thrilled to be the guest blogger at (in)courage, one of my favorite sites!



I wrote a short piece about a small-town, Iowa girl (me) and how God used

a tiny Amazon village and one woman to change my world and my heart.

I hope you’ll hop on over here to check out my post, Heart Changes!

Thanks so much for reading.

Love you all!

Sig

Filed Under: writing

Eternal Praise

May 9, 2011 by · 6 Comments

I really love to sing. I think I’ve mentioned that a few times. In fact, if you were a fly on one of the walls in my house, you’d probably have purchased earplugs by now.

😉

Cause Mae and I sing all day long.

Just a week or so ago I sang on Praise Team at church.

It was a bigger group of us, and it was so much fun to sing and praise God with this particular group of singers.

And there was a man in our group by the name of Don.

That man could sing.

I’d heard him sing a few times for different services, often on the praise teams, and even once as the entertainer at the Italian Festa put on at our church.

He had a rich tenor voice that wa s ju

st so beautiful.

For the last part of the service, he was standing just a few feet away from me, and during practice I remember smiling as I heard his voice booming out. I turned back to watch him for just a second.

I would have looked longer and stopped to savor those moments of music if I had known.

Just a few hours later Don lost consciousness, never regaining it.

He went to Heaven just a few days later.

I’ ve kind of been going back and forth as to whether to go to the funeral or not for the past few days.

I didn’t really know him or his family and finally decided not to go but will definitely be keeping his

family and friends in my prayers tomorrow as they celebrate his life and say goodbye.

But it’s interesting how, even though I never knew Don, his last moments have had such a deep impact over the last week.

Last night I was thinking about that Sunday and how close I was, physically, to that tenor voice.

Just days later, that same voice (but probably even better, if that’s possible!) is wowing Heaven and being sung to the very face of Jesus.

That’s just jaw-dropping amazing.

And not only is it amazing, but it will continue. He’ll keep singing with that same voice, praising the Father he loves, and someday we’ll all get to hear it again when we’re singing right along with him.

Singing and praising for eternity.

That’s just what I’m thinking about today. I’m so thankful for the promise of eternity and no more tears or goodbyes.

Someday.

Sig

Filed Under: music, remembering, where I am

For My Girl

May 8, 2011 by · 3 Comments

May 8, 2011

Dear Maelie,

It might seem a little odd that I’m writing to you on my very first Mother’s Day. But there are some things I want you to know, my girl, because I love you.

God took your daddy and me on a journey, one that was not what we had imagined at all, before he made us parents. And because of the waiting, heartache, and tears, we know that you are that much more special. Through all of that, He had you picked out for us!

Our little Mae, you are so very loved and treasured.

When I first found out I was expecting you, I was SO EXCITED. (It was really hard to keep it a secret for a few weeks!) Over time, I was convinced you were a boy. (Isn’t that so funny?) But deep down I w anted

a girl, and God knew that and gave me the desire of my heart.

You made my dreams come true on June 14, 2010, when you made your entrance into this big, crazy world. I couldn’t wait to hold you, love you, hug you, kiss you, snuggle you, pray for you…be mommy to you. You came out ready for all of that…and at the same time, marching to the beat of your own drum.

I like that.

I like it that you’ve found your own rhythm so early in life. There’s gonna be a lot of dancing going on in our house as you grow up!

You’re going to learn a lot of steps from me, and you’ll teach me some, too. And we’ll figure out this mother/daughter dance of life together. It’ ll be fun.

😉

I also want you to know how much I love dreaming BIG dreams for you. As fun as it is to imagine what you might be like, though, I want your dreams to be

your own. I know God will give you those dreams, and I can’t wait to see who you will become!

With everything in me, I want you to be a girl who grows up to love Jesus and others.

Your daddy and I want you to see the world and learn to love

the beauty of diversity. (But take your time growing up because the first year has already gone by too quickly!)

I love you so much, my sweet girl. And even though it’s Mother’s Day, today I celebrate you.

Because you are what makes me mama…and you make my life so much sweeter, so much more beautiful, and so much more blessed.

May you find God’s blessings in each moment and grow to love Him more and more each day.

I’ll love you forever,
Mommy

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Maelie

Saturday Love

May 7, 2011 by · 1 Comment

My blog post for today is so not deep or profound.

Probably because I’m still waking up from that glorious 2+ hour nap I gave myself this afternoon.

(Thank you to my fabulous daughter for the close-

to-three-hour nap she took just so I could sleep.

;))

I use to love running all over the place and doing everything on weekends.

Now, if given a choice, I want nothing more than to be with my family, hanging out at home or spending time outside in our neighborhood. I think I am boring.

Or maybe finally growing up. :)

Today was the perfect pre-Mother’s Day gift. Because the sun rises so early now, I really can’t sleep past 6:30. Which is frustrating at times, but today it was ok. I popped out of bed, realized that my daughter was still OUT (which is pretty rare…usually she’s talking to herself in her crib by around 6:15), and decided to be productive and make Oatmeal Cream Pies. Again.

Yes, at 6:30 a.m. I’m just cool like that.

And, for the record, they turned out perfectly this time. Which is good and bad.

I gave some to the neighbors tonight

so I can still fit into my pants tomorrow. Hopefully.

My daughter, in all of her I-was-up-talking-to-myself-at-4:39 a.m.-but-mommy-ignored-me-and-I-went-back-to-sleep glory slept til 8:00. She. Never. Does. That. Ever.

It was a fantastic start to the day.

She got up and did her usual eat, play, cuddle, eat routine…then it was back to bed for her morning nap around 10:30. We didn’t get a huge nap, but she slept a good hour.

Then it was off to Target for tp, formula, and diapers…such a fun trip. We did get to browse a bit while Tob “shopped”, found some too-adorable kitchen towels, and even saw some friends.

T’was fun. Well, as fun as it can be to drop $50 at Target for expensive essentials. Grrr.

Then it was home for a little swinging and playing, a bottle, and

?

Another nap.

Bless my daughter’ s awe

somely sensitive heart. She knew her mommy needed a nap and was only too happy to oblige. And so she slept from 2:30-5:15. (At which time Tobin went to wake her up so she would actually sleep tonight…) I slept too. It. Was. Wonderful.

Then more eating and playing. My daughter really loves to play. (And crawl all over creation, getting into everything.)

Around 6:15 we got a text from some friends inviting us over for dinner.

So we packed up the girl and headed all the way across the street. After d inner we sat around the fire pit

in their backyard chatting. Maelie is an outdoor girl…she is never grumpy if she is outside. It was a nice change instead of her usual crabby evenings. I think we may have found a cure. :)

Then it was home and bed for the girl and a little chatting with a friend for me.

Good Saturda

y…I really love days when the three of us are together. (Even if there are long periods of sleeping involved…)

Except for one thing. I had about six topics I wanted to write about tonight, and none of them came together. I was feeling wordless…which clearly isn’t completely accurate.

I mean, I obviously have plenty of words. :) Just nothing too deep.

How was your Saturday

?

Thanks for reading.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family

Five Minute Friday: Motherhood Should Come With…

May 6, 2011 by · 6 Comments

Today I’m linking up with the Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday.

Join me!

And for more great Five Minute Friday stories, click here!

Oh, and the guidelines: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, or w

orrying. Just write.

So, just write, I will!

Today’s Topic: Motherhood Should Come With…

…a manual containing the answers to every potential question a mom has

ever had, currently has, or is about to have.

…two extra hours in the day to give me time to actually do my makeup before I get in the car to go somewhere…and maybe so I can squeeze in that yoga workout that

I never quite find the time for.

(Really, why am I stopping at two? Make it six!)

…a coffee maker that just keeps brewing all day long.

Without me actually having to get up and keep it going…

…the ability to sleep anywhere.

(I think I’ve got that one now!)

…a daily hug and some words of encouragement, just so I know I’m doing okay with the mom thing.

…infinite amounts of patience and perseverance.

…understanding that no child is perfect, but my child is perfect for me.

…a ten pound bag of dark chocolate M&M’s and twelve cases of Diet Coke.

(That’ll get me through the first month!)

…more love than I ever thought possible.

Yeah, I got that one, too.

Love my girl.

:)

…more grace. Grace for myself as I make and learn from mistakes, grace for those around me who are often just trying to help, and an acceptance of it from those who have been there.

…a badge of honor.

Because being a mommy is my favorite thing in the world.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, Five Minute Friday

Thursday Afternoon Talkin’

May 5, 2011 by · 6 Comments

Ok, so I just about t itl

ed this post, Thursday Afternoon Drinks. Then I was like, Um, Mel…no. Not a good title.

I finally figured out the Diet Coke thing…which may change our “coffee” date slightly some weeks.

On Thursdays after Bible study I usually go with friends to either McD’s or BK so their kids can play and we can chat.

And I always have Diet Coke.

Always. (Yum…I love Diet Coke.

Do you know that about me yet? Well, now you do!)

Hence the reason I’m always drinking it on Thursdays! Today I’d rather have coffee, though, so after I finish it, I’m there. I found dark chocolate creamer last week that is so, so GOOD. Mmmmm.

So it’s been kind of a blah week in the Schroeder house. We’re all good…just lacking energy to do much. It would help if we could have a warm, sunny day…all day. (Not just part of it!) We’re still waiting on the house (and getting slightly impatient) and to top it off, the shower went crazy on us a couple days ago.

Really?!

I’m trying not to be completely annoyed. But is it so much to ask to just be able to take a hot shower whenever I want?

And I have to say here that I just need to suck it up and be thankful and remember all the cold showers I took in Indonesia due to various water issues.

This. Is. Not. That. Bad.

Thanks to those of you who prayed for Don, the man I posted about a couple of days ago. He passed away early this morning. Please pray for his family and those who were close to him. He will be missed. I am always so sad for the people who are left behind to cry and grieve and hurt. He got the better end of the deal, and I know the choir in Heaven is already sounding sweeter with his tenor voice adding to it.

I’ve really struggled with his situation/death this week. It’s very sobering to see someone and, literally, be standing a few feet away from them and praising God together…then a few hours later they’re gone. From what I know of him, I think it’s incredible that he “went out” doing what he was so very gifted at and what blessed so many people. But that doesn’t make it easy for those who loved him.

Next Tuesday is a big day for me…for me. Not really for anyone else, but that’s ok. :) I’ll be the guest blogger here, and I’m scared. Those thoughts that I so easily splashed onto my computer are now going to be published for a lot of people to see. It’s cool. And scary. And my stomach turns thinking about it. I’ve never been published before so it’s kind of a dream that’s finally happening. Cool cool. 😀

So if you actually were joining me for an afternoon drink…ahem, talk…I’d be pulling out the runny oatmeal cream pies and grayish-purple scones.

It’s just been that kind of week in the kitchen of Mel. I found a recipe on Monday for Oatmeal Cream Pies that looked UH-MAZ-ING. I had to try them.

The recipe even looked more whoopie pie-ish, so I decided to give it a go. And here’s the thing…you should always read the reviews that people post because…um, these people have actually TRIED the recipe. I did read some of them.

:) Several said that the cookie parts were too crunchy so I baked them for a lot less time and they turned out ok. But the buttercream in

the middle? I even borrowed my awesome neighbor’ s mixer

so I could actually make the recipe the RIGHT way and whipped the SNOT out of that butter! (Ok, figuratively…that’s kind of a gross choice of words, isn’t it? :P)

It still ran everywhere.

Fail.

I put them in the fridge after I slapped them together, and that salvaged the batch for the most part…as long as we eat them cold.

Enter cooking venture #2. I made these scones over the weekend for my in-laws but substituted strawberries for raspberries. They were slightly messy to make but not really that bad. And if they were good with strawberries, I figured they’d be even better with raspberries! (Oh, and they were to take to Bible study…aka: people outside of my house were going to eat them.)

I don’t know what went wrong.

First, the dough was so sticky that I ended up adding about two extra cups of flour just to get it to a point where I could work with it. (And it was still sticky!)

Then, the juice from the raspberries ended up turning the scones this grayish-purple color. I can’t say I was a fan of the color, but whatever. Color is secondary to taste and texture.

And while they tasted fine, the texture was slightly rubbery.

I was oh-so-very-frustrated by the end of the scone-baking drama yesterday that I vowed I will never bake again.

If this is true, you can guarantee that my hubby and I will both lose weight! And…ahem…that my kitchen will be a lot cleaner. Really, some people should just not be allowed in a kitchen, and I think I might be one of them.

But enough about my cooking skills…or lack of them.

Do you have any plans for Mother’s Day?

So this is kinda my first. I mean, I was…um…really pregnant last year.

But with Tob still in Indo and me in the States, there wasn’t really a celebration. And I was kind of expecting this year to be a big deal which I realized is pretty selfish. So I’m gonna bare my soul for a minute. This is a coffee date, after all…usually there’s a lot of soul-b

aring going on!

Expectations have gotten me into trouble in the past, and I can see where they’re taking me this weekend, too. It isn’t good.

Sunday is Mother’s Day.

You know, that day I’ve looked forward to for almost 33 years.

In my narrow, self-centered, bratty way, I expected it to be about me. And I realized today that I need to stop that. I mean, we all have our bratty moments, but I think I have more than the average person.

Bear with me…I promise I’m getting there.

As I was driving home from McD’s today, I was reminded (for about the millionth time!) that I have the most beautiful daughter. She blesses me every single day…every single hour…every single minute…and second, too. I love her so much.

And she is someone I celebrate being mommy to every day, not just one day out of the year.

So, hon, if you read this. (And you better cause supposedly you keep up on the blog… ;)) Don’t go out of your way to make Sunday a crazy, all-about-Mel day. Instead, let’s just spend the day together…the three of us. And be happy that we get to be the three of us.

That’s what I want for Mother’s Day.

And with that, I think I’ll close…cause I topped 1,000 words a few paragraphs back.

Happy Thursday to you all! And Feliz Cinco de Mayo, tambien!

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, coffee, food, where I am

Giving It All

May 4, 2011 by · 3 Comments

A few scattered thoughts tonight.

😉

So I struggle with insecurity, and I’ve talked about that before. I think a lot of it goes back to life as a less-than-gorgeous, more-

than-slightly-awkward pre-teen/teenager.

Thinking back to that time when I was so unsure about myself…everything, and I do mean everything made me nervous. From trying out for the basketball team to running hurdles and playing in a band concert to singing a solo…every one of those things made those butterflies do backflips.

That’s a hard thing to get past.

Even in high school, I didn’t love being in front of people. I stayed with music because I really enjoyed it, I ran cross country, and I was in FFA. But that’s about it as far as extra-curricular activities go. FFA actually was pretty leadership-oriented.

On several occasions I had to get up and give speeches. Yeah, I wanted to throw up every time, but somehow I survived…without puking. :)

Then comes college. Heck, I was studying to be a teacher…that kinda meant I needed to get used to talking in front of people, right?! The first few speeches I had to give and lessons I had to teach were torture. Tor.Ture. I didn’t sleep at all the night before and would get so nervous that I’ d practically cry.

Eventually… a person kind of gets to

a breaking point. And I reached it.

At some point, this had to stop. I couldn’t keep going through life like this.

And so I made a choice…the choice to just do life. And the choice to quit worrying about what other people thought. And the choice to not be nervous. (Which still doesn’t always work…)

That was so hard.

I remember clearly when I was raising money for my mission trip to Peru.

I had to write letters…and that wasn’t bad. But I also had to speak at my church and sing a solo that night…and that was just about enough to put me over the edge.

Getting up in front of people like that…to me…is like completely throwing yourself out there,

nothing hidden, for everyone to judge. I was so stinkin’ nervous that night that I actually cried before I went up on the stage. I hated being that nervous.

Hated it.

The first ten or so minutes were absolutely awful, but once I got going, it wasn’t as terrible. I then realized, Hey, I can do this! And what a fantastic feeling to finish my talk, get

to the song, and not even be nervous anymore. (I’m pretty sure that’s the only time I’ve ever sung a solo and not been nervous.)

And even though I’ve gotten a lot better about being in front of people since that time, it’s still hard. And it translates to more than just talking or singing or playing an instrument.

The blog often makes me nervous.

Especially when I post things that I know not everyone will agree with. I feel like the bravery that it takes to push the publish button also brings with it a large, red “X”.

Shoot me down, shatter me.

My words are yours to tear apart.

The blog started out as a journey to process life and the things we were going through.

It turned into so much more. A place to have an opinion. A place to share my life, as much

as I choose or

choose not to, with my readers.

A place to have a voice.

And sometimes it scares me to have that voice that could potentially reach thousands of people. (Although I doubt that will happen!) But it’s also kind of a cool thing that so many people could be reading what I write.

I was thinking of all this and how it compares with having a relationship

with God. Sometimes He asks us to do things that are so far out of our comfort zones. He doesn’t ask us to hide behind our insecurities, giving only those things that make us comfortable, sharing just those talents that come easily.

He asks us to put it all out there.

Give it.

Throw it!

He wants it all…no matter the cost. Some things will be scary, some things will make us cry, and some things will change life to the point that it will never be the same.

But He asks for ALL.

What is my ALL?

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Please Pray

May 3, 2011 by · 1 Comment

Sometimes my emotions completely take over… and tonight is one

of those nights.

I can’t come up with significant words or deep thoughts…only prayers.

And so tonight I just ask you to pray for a man, Don,

and his family.

On Sunday morning, D on sang

on praise team at our late service along with me and several other singers.

At the confirmation service just a few hours later he collapsed, apparently from complications with a respiratory problem he’d been having.

I don’t know many details other than he was not breathing for a significant amount of time and, now, is not doing well.

Please pray for him and his family. Please pray specifically for a miracle… he needs one.

Father, be with this family… please give them a miracle,

please heal Don. I know You’re near…and I ask You to hold them through this.

Amen.

Sig

Filed Under: prayer

How He Loves

May 2, 2011 by · 1 Comment

“All you need is love.” –The Beatles

I don’t typically quote the Beatles, although I do think there is some truth in this statement.

Love is that all-encompassing value.

No matter what we believe, where we stand on issues, or what personality type we are,

love is…and should be…that integral, overriding aspect that covers.

I’ve been thinking about love and what it looks like.

As a child growing up, I think I loved with the capacity that a child can. I wasn’t typically mean to other kids, I tried to be polite and helpful, and even though I struggled making friends, I’d go out of my way to be nice to the new kid. I even regularly gave away my belongings, which I think frustrated my mom.

:) I guess, in a child’s world, that’s love.

As a teenager, I was shaken and shocked by the amount of non-love I saw. Whether directed toward me or not, it was all around…a daily battle. To me, love was taking that time to accept all people…talk to them, speak kind words, and leave the meanness behind.

As an adult, love took on such a deeper, more sacrificial meaning. As a wife, I have learned (and still am learning) that love often means putting aside what I want for the good of my husband. It means pay attention to his needs and making those sacrifices when necessary for what is best for him. And for us.

It’s hard…and I fail far more often than I succeed.

As a mom, to quote what a friend said yesterday, love is being willing to throw myself in front of a Mack truck for my daughter…I’d do it without even thinking.

Although the love I have for my friends is different from how I love my husband and daughter, I do love them. As a friend, there’s nothing I’d rather be than there…even if it means staying up all night to cry, staying out late to laugh, or using up

all my cell phone minutes to listen.

That’s friendship, and I’m there…it’s how I love.

But how do I love my enemies?

One of them is dead…yeah, I consider Osama Bin Laden one of my enemies.

Pure evil, the kind that makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Last night when the news leaked out, my Twitter feed was full.

I have to admit that my initial reaction was right along with several that I read, Oh, yeah! We got that sucker!

Thankfully, I made myself stay silent…and consider things. I am learning that it’s not always best to share my emotional reactions with the world, especially in a place where my thoughts can be re-tweeted for all to see.

A friend even texted me, and I replied with a “YAY!”

I didn’t mean that YAY! in a negative, I’m-so-glad-this-jerk-is-dead way…just a what-a-victory-for-the-U.S. way. The people who suffered unspeakable loss on 9/11 now have some type of closure. After what they’ve been through, they deserve that much.

But a man is still dead. That man…as evil as his actions were…stood before God and gave an account for what he had done. And then he received his punishment…where he will spend eternity.

No matter how terrible someone is, the thought of him…or anyone…spending eternity there makes my stomach twist and turn.

Because God is not willing that any…ANY…should perish.

No matter what they’ve done.

On the day of 9/11, I was teaching third grade at a small Christian school in Wisconsin. I remember a certain boy from that class, who was usually on the quieter side and always very thoughtful, asking, “Miss Osmun, (yeah, I wasn’t married yet :)) can we pray for Bin Ladin?”

Holy cow, did he really just ask if we could pray for our enemy?

This eight year old boy?

And so we prayed…and he prayed the most heartfelt prayer of all. “God, I pray that Osama Bin Laden will get saved.”

We moved on from that moment, but I never forgot it. How at a time when it was so natural to not love a person, this third grade boy chose to love.

He chose to love just as our Father does…regardless of what we’ve done or how awful we are.

Because He knows that there’s still hope for us.

That’s just how He loves.

And now we have that opportunity again.

Hang on with me, ok?

Because Bin Laden is gone…and there’s nothing we can do to change that. (And I’m not even going to enter in to whether it was right to kill him or not. I, personally, think there are arguments for both sides.) But there are plenty of evil people still out there…enemies, as we would term them. People who do unspeakably awful things that we can’t even fathom.

And while understanding them may be impossible, praying for them is not.

Neither is loving them.

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

Who is God asking you to love today

?

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am
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