Scattered Purpose

So, I couldn’t do it…I almost did.

I almost consciously let the day go by without writing.

And I couldn’t. I was watching the clock tick later and later, knowing that I had to make the decision soon.

Honestly, the first time is going

to be painful. I’ll probably cry.

And then I’ll find it easier to take a day off here or there.

I decided I couldn’t take the pain tonight. (Mostly ’cause my abs are killin’ me from last night’s workout, perhaps?!) No, really…I just couldn’t.

I spent the afternoon writing my next article for the Patch…I think it’s around 80% finished though I definitely need to work on some grammar issues I’ve got going. Does anyone else use the word really way. too. often.?

It’s like a disease. 😉

And as I sat at the computer this afternoon writing about life and blogging and everything in between, there was a word that kept nagging me.

Purpose.

To be honest, I’m struggling with finding mine right now.

I know I’m supposed to be a wife.

A mommy. A friend. A sometimes-writer, always-blogger.

A follower of Him.

But I have this nagging feeling that there’s something more, something I’m missing.

I pray and ask Him for more direction, but I just feel so scattered. Some days I’m convinced I’ll write the next best-seller, others I think I’ll go a completely different direction and go back to teaching. And still some, I’m content with life as it is, convinced that it’s His purpose for me.

But today’s not one of those days.

I have to continually remind myself that my Father’s purpose for me is far greater than I can imagine and that He simply asks me to trust.

I truly believe that this season for me is meant to be exactly what it is…being home with my family. Writing for free when I have time. 😉 Being a friend. Loving others…or trying to. Living a life for Him.

If it’s meant to be more, then I’ll know it. At least I trust that I will.

Reminding myself of that tonight…that there’s a time for everything, and each of those times are planned by Him.

He knows. He sees. He’s good.

And He’s enough…even when I feel scattered.