A Barefoot Life

So, we’re technically not coffee-dating today, but that’s ok. It’s far too nice outside to even think of drinking something hot. (But I am having a Diet Coke while I write, just in case you’re interested. ;))

It’s so beautiful, in fact, that I went with some friends and all their kiddos to the park for lunch after Bible study.

Maelie loves the park. I love the sunshine. So it works.

However, today was a challenge.

You see, I have been blessed with a fearless, independent, personality-oozing daughter…who I do believe will conquer the world of Survivor someday. Or whatever reality show requires the most nerve at the time.

We hadn’t been to this particular park since early last fall, when she was just taking off…no pun intended…with walking. 😉 So, other than chase her around the grass, I hadn’t dealt with Maelie and the “big kid playground” yet.

We got there before her friends arrived, and I gave her a few minutes to play before we ate. She shot up that play structure faster than I could have…and went right for the dropoff with the climbing wall. I had chased her up and caught her arm just before she took the six foot plunge to the ground.

Crazy, sweet kid.

But she was mad.

And determined to play on this playground just like the kids who were older than she is.

I managed to detour her interests with McDonald’s for awhile, but she hadn’t forgotten about that humongo slide like I’d hoped she would.

The thing is…I knew I needed to let go.

To let her play, run, be a kid. Learn the hard lessons that come with bruises and scrapes and falls.

That’s life.

But my mommy heart ached to the very depths, and I just couldn’t.

So I followed her…up and down that playground equipment probably ten times. Each time, she’d look toward the drop off but turn and go down the slide.

After awhile she lost interest and busied herself with things closer to the ground. While I silently rejoiced…

After trying out the rocking dinosaur, climbing on a park bench, and walking up and down a hill several times, she was ready to go back to the slide.

I almost couldn’t handle it…and this is where I have to be honest with you.

I don’t want to let go of my daughter.

Already.

Because independence and fearlessness and a love of trying new things means that

She is growing up.

More quickly than I want, with more guts than I was prepared to handle.

I processed it out with a sweet friend who was willing to listen and let me cry and offer advice…and she assured me that all moms go through this at one level or another.

And as we talked…my daughter climbed.

She climbed…with a pause to jump on the little wiggly bridge (does that thing have a name?!)…to the top. She’d stop, look over the edge, then sit and fly down the slide as fast as she could.

Wheeeeeeee!

And I continued to be close…as I watched her do this over and over. Watched her because she is 21 months old. She could do something dangerous, and I wanted to be there to catch her.

But eventually, I won’t be there.

And when I’m not, the only thing I can hope and pray is that she’ll make the right choice. The one that comes from the things she’s learned as she’s growing up.

But my job?

Is to let her go.

Just a little right now.

And trust that it’ll all be ok.