My God-Sized Dream…in Words

January 8, 2013 by · 22 Comments

It’s a gorgeous January morning.

For me, gorgeous means sunshine and NO snow, though if some of my friends were to read this, they’d be writing out an IOU for one snowball to the face.

Well, when there’s actually enough snow to THROW said snowball. 😉

I’ve got my coffee, too…always a prerequisite when I’m about to write something deep.

Deep, it is.

Big, too.

I’ve always been honest in this space; therefore, if you’re a frequent reader, the news that I’ve got a God-Sized Dream brewing in my heart and soul isn’t new.

And by now, you probably know that one of my deep desires is to publish a book and share the stories God has placed in my heart.

Eight years ago (goodness, has it really been that LONG?!) my husband and I were preparing to make a big move to the other side of the world. God had placed the burden in our hearts to serve in an international school, possibly even a Christian school, and He flung the doors wide open for that dream to come true in 2005.

We sold it all, said some tearful goodbyes, and moved to Indonesia.

It was five years of…everything.

Wonderful…the kind of wonderful that still makes my heart sing when I think of the people we grew to love and the ways He changed hearts and lives. So amazing.

Challenging…the kind that makes me sometimes-wish I could go back but then brings me to a place of trust because God can still work through imperfections. Thank You, Father, for that.

Life-Changing…I still think about it every day. Most days we talk about it. And once in awhile I’ll even write about it on my blog.

Just Hilarious…I’ve always been that girl; the one who doesn’t need to seek out adventure because it just finds her, and life in Indonesia was no exception. (Trust me…this book is worth reading just for the story about me using a squatty potty for the first time. Really. It’s a kick…I can’t believe I’m putting it in print. :D)

When we returned to the U.S. in 2010 to begin our family and put down some roots in a new place, I started to write.

Really write.

I need to process the change from life in Indonesia to life in Illinois, the transition from being a couple to a couple with a new baby girl, and, quite honestly, what it was like to go grocery shopping in a store that had a thousand kinds of salad dressing.

And as I began to write, it wasn’t long before a dream started to creep in.

That dream turned from creeping in to planting itself deep within my heart.

And that brings me to today.

Today I am writing it down, reliving each story, and it’s an insanely wonderful place to be.

It has taken me the better part of two and a half years to finally be able to express the many, many emotions that still emerge when I visit the Indonesia part of our lives.

My God-Sized Dream, right now, is to take this collection of stories and experiences and turn them into a…memoir? (Just being honest with you…I am not a fan of that word. I think it’s corny. Help, please? ;))

Stories that will make my readers laugh out loud, let a few tears drip, love a little more deeply, and see the goodness of God in a life that is continually in progress.

I would love to see my stories in print, and each day I’m getting a little closer to that.

That’s my dream. :)

I am so, so thankful to God for the paths He allows us to travel.

Each one never ends up looking quite like I think it will, but He is always there, always guiding me, always next to me holding my hand…and this book-writing journey is no exception.

I am so incredibly blessed to be a part of the God-Sized Dream Team…a team of women who are also busy dreaming and doing and trusting. They’re amazing…every single one of them, and I’m so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to join them as we all pursue our dreams together! It’s gonna be a ton of fun to watch what He does through all of us!

And thanks to each of YOU for joining me…it means the world to me that you are here.

Love to you, friends!

God-Sized DreamsAnd be sure to stop back every Tuesday…I’ll be sharing more each week about my dream and what He’s doing. :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, travel, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Little Blessings (Pt. 58)

January 6, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

:) My precious girl falling asleep in my arms tonight.

:) Pizza night with a chick flick.

:) Creating and inspiring.

:) Words…on both the days they flow and the days they don’t.

:) Book progress.

:) Laughter with a dear friend.

:) Mommy/daughter duets…I’ll love you forever…

:) Mittens on clearance. (Guess who’s gone the entire winter so far without having a pair that actually cover her fingers? This girl.)

:) Date night anticipation.

:) Being able to talk to my Father like I can…despite how scattered and frustrated I’ve been lately, He still listens. I’m so thankful for that. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, Maelie, where I am

Banished to the Basement

January 5, 2013 by · 2 Comments

No, not really, but I knew that would get your attention. 😉

I’ve actually spent a good part of the day IN the basement, but that was by my own choosing. (But before you go feeling sorry for me, I have a comfy chair, a fleecy blanket, my laptop, and my awesome slipper boots that I hate to ever remove from my feet. Life is really very good with these four items. :))

AND my awesome husband gave me a wonderful, late-Christmas gift.

The afternoon off.

Yes, it deserved bold. I probably should have typed it all in caps, too.

I needed it. Between attempted book-writing, keeping up with the blog, staying connected with my Dream Team sisters, spending as much time as possible with Maelie, and trying to not bow out of regular life…I maybe think I almost, kind-of went a little crazy yesterday. Just maybe. (Though I’m positive I hid it very well.) Add to that the fact that the emotions have been running high this week, and well…enough said.

So we spent this morning together as a family…coffee, took our time getting out of the house, and then made trips to Hobby Lobby and Target to pick up a few things. (Side note: Yes, yes, I know that today was “Support Hobby Lobby Day”. However, I went there because I needed to get a few items, not because I’m into that whole thing. I mean, I support Hobby Lobby and AMEN to their courageous stance against the whole Obamacare fiasco, but I’ll go there anyway, not just on January 5th.)

Ok, ok, climbing down from my soapbox. Hee hee. 😀

Anyway, so when we came home, I temporarily much moved myself to the basement to get my head back together. I am pretty sure there were so many scattered pieces floating around in my brain by then that productivity would have been questionable had I not given myself peace.

I created for awhile. Thanks, Pinterest. I am now almost positive that if I continue at the rate at which I am currently going, my friends will never again need to purchase an accessory of any type.

That could make me cool. Or slightly obsessed. (I vote for the first. ;))

So between Mod-Podging (I love that verb…it SO belongs in the dictionary) and an extremely-overdue, hour-long chat with my Indo-friend, Becky, I managed to squeeze out two more chapters. The plan is one more tonight, and I will be on track to be half done with my rough draft by January 20th. Wowza.

Definitely a productive day.

Oh, and guessing you probably want to see what I created?

These.

They’re going to be on chains for necklaces. (Mod Podge just takes so stinkin’ long to dry that I haven’t finished yet.) And this is my first try, so they’re definitely not perfect, but I love this kind of thing. So the fact that I can make them now? Well, like I said, thanks, Pinterest. I really do heart you and the far-too-many, must-make options you provide for my creative streak. :)

So can I tell ya something?

Writing a book scares me.

I mean, the actual words to paper are the fun part for me. I love reliving the memories…it’s like they come alive in my heart all over again. :)

But there’s that part of me that wonders why my stories would matter to anyone else.

I know that’s fear and uncertainty speaking, but I gotta be honest. I’m terrified.

But I also know that God wouldn’t have opened some pretty huge doors lately if He didn’t want this to happen. And so I’ve got to trust (there’s that word again) that it’s all in His hands. Which I already know.

I just sometimes forget that little detail.

So I’m gonna head back to my rough draft and pound out several more paragraphs.

And, hey…if I don’t feel like much of a book writer tonight, at least I look like one. Guess who got glasses? (Translation: Guess who really needed to start wearing them again so she could see…I don’t know…across the room?! Slight sarcasm. ;))

But life IS much better without a headache. And when I can see. :)

Off I go…back to the book. Must. Write.

Happy Saturday to you…hope it was a good one.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, creating, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, Tobin, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Opportunity

January 4, 2013 by · 7 Comments

It’s back! (insert slightly-cheesy, but oh-so-HAPPY grin)

😀

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Opportunity

Each day is a new opportunity, especially with a sweet, sometimes-more-than-slightly-mischievous, toddler running around at my feet.

She is a sponge…and she soaks it all up, whether I want that for her or not.

And, together, we try to take each opportunity that comes our way for learning, teaching, changing, growing.

But lately, well…she’s two.

Those five previously written words probably speak volumes to most of you. 😉

She’s two, and sometimes taking opportunities is…hard.

That temper tantrum is often easier to ignore than to correct, and the same goes for other various misbehaving moments that generally occur within a normal day.

Often, rather than taking the opportunity to show her what she should be doing, I ignore or use the dreaded time-out…forgetting that those little eyes are watching me. Learning.

Too much, too quickly.

And then I stop and remember…

The greatest opportunities often come from the greatest challenges, not from the easiest ones.

On the easy days, I coast…and there’s no reason to go outside of my limits to reach for something else.

It’s on those difficult, sometimes-just-plain-hard, days that the biggest opportunities…for blessing, for sharpening, for growth…arise.

And so I stop in my tracks as I watch her getting frustrated again over something that seems small and insignificant to me.

But not necessarily to her.

I kneel down on her level, grasp her hands, look into her eyes, and take the opportunity to show her that I love her and that I’m on her side.

And that I always will be.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

2013: What to Read

January 2, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

Since I’m kind of in goal-setting mode, I thought I’d continue today. :)

Yesterday I shared more of my “life” goal for the year.

Here’s my intellectual/spiritual one. (More to come on both of those, though.)

As much time as I’ll spend writing words, I also want to put some good ones into my brain, too. What goes in must come out, right? I’ve got quite a few books on my list, and thanks to a Kindle gift card and some good prices for the new year, I’ve already got them all. (I just had to buy two of them, but hey…I’ll always take a good deal!)

Here they are…no particular order.

1. The “Do-What-You-Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better. (Holley Gerth) I wrote about this one yesterday…I started it a few days ago, and boy, is it a good one. Holley has broken it up into 21 days…short chapters and good things to think about, pray through, and do on my way to my big goal. :) I really can’t recommend it enough, even if you’re not pushing toward a God-Sized Dream…at least yet. 😉

2. You’re Made For a God-Sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You. (Holley Gerth) I haven’t seen this one yet. It releases in March, but I’ll get to read it before because as part of the team, I get an advanced copy to read and review. :) I’m really, really looking forward to reading it. And, as a side note, I am so giddy that I get to call the author of these first two books my friend! :)

3. A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband “Master”. (Rachel Held Evans) There are extremely mixed reviews on this one from just this side of the fence. I’ve read some of them, but if I’m being honest with you, the title alone made me itch to get my hands on it. I’ve started it, and so far, I’m enjoying it. I may not agree with everything in it, but I think there’s always a lesson to be learned somewhere. I’ll definitely let you know how it goes!

4. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. (Ann Voskamp) I have wanted to read this one for a long, long time. And today, as I was browsing, I saw that it was really on sale, so I eagerly snatched it up. I can’t wait! (P.S. There’s also a Bible study to go with the book…I’m hoping to do that this year, but we’ll see how time goes.)

5. Is it cheesy that I added the Bible? I’m saying no, and I’m not adding it to gloat that I’m planning to read it all, cover-to-cover, in a year either. I’m actually not…I had to do that once in college, (in about eight months, actually) and it became more of a chore than a hunger for Truth. While I may read the whole thing, I refuse to promise that now. The bottom line is that I want to grow closer to my Father through His Word.

I’m sure there will be a few less thought-provoking books thrown into the mix this year, too. I’m sort of a sucker for Sophie Kinsella’s books…she keeps me laughin’ like crazy! So when her newest one comes out…yeah. 😀

What about you? What’s on your reading list for 2013?

Sig

Filed Under: goals, God-Sized Dreams, just life, reading, where I am

2013: Dream

January 1, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

Happy 2013!

If you popped over for my list of 13 in 2013 ;), I hate to disappoint you, but there’s not one.

It isn’t that I don’t believe in setting goals or having things to work toward. There are plenty of things I’d like to see happen this year. I just didn’t write them all down.

At least yet.

I’m trying to find more balance this year…and I’ll admit that I’m definitely in process.

We all are…all the time, but for some reason I just feel like I’m really in process right now.

I’ve decided that’s a good thing. :)

2013 is the year I get to write my book. Honestly, I’ve already written a good portion of it, but this is the year where it goes somewhere. That is, if God wants it to. And so a lot of my spare time…you know those moments between chasing a toddler and painting with watercolors and sticking stickers and rocking baby dolls…will be spent with words.

I wrote my life statement for the God-Sized Dream Team today.

Hmmm…

It was no small task. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on one sentence. And between the scribbles and notes, I managed to come up with what I believe God is asking of me this year.

I believe God has created and called me to encourage and inspire others through words, stories, and lessons learned from the unexpected adventures that come from a journey of walking by faith.

At this time in my life, I feel that sentence best depicts the purpose of my book.

God gave me (us) an experience like no other when He opened the door for us to spend five years in Indonesia. That doesn’t make our experience, or our lives for that matter, any better than anyone’s, but those years did leave me with a few things.

Perspective.

Insight.

Heart lessons.

Laughter.

Deeper love.

…and more.

And my purpose in writing is to share some of what He taught me through the grit and the grace that abounded during those years.

And still continues today.

In trying to choose a word for 2013, I went through several.

I thought I was going to choose Rooted, a word that God continually seems to bring to my mind and my heart.

In the end, though, I chose Dream.

God has given me an incredibly opportunity to really pursue the dream of writing a book this year. He’s given me amazing friends and prayer support and a team of women who are each pursuing a dream as well.

Today is the first day of 2013, and again, as I do each day, I am giving my dream to God. I can plan all I want, write all I want, submit my book to as many publishers as I want…but in the end?

What happens is up to Him.

I trust Him and I’m blessed beyond words for the opportunity to

DREAM.

Will you come along for the journey?

And, today, my sweet friend, Holley Gerth, launched an e-book called The “Do-What-You-Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better. It’s fantastic…I’m going through it right now. And today…JUST TODAY…the Kindle version is free! Head on over here for your free copy!


Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, goals, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Those 12

December 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

This post should probably be otherwise titled, That Post When I Reflect Too Much.

However, I want you to actually read it. 😉

Exactly 364 days ago, I set some goals, which you can read here. (Or you can just scroll down, too.)

Time to see how I did! (And to look forward to all that 2013 holds…which I very much hope includes some brown and tan paint over some purple walls. Do I get bonus points for choosing the colors at least?)

Spoiler…oops. Sorry about that. 😉

Here we go!

1. Start…and finish…the canvas painting for Maelie’s room. Check. No drama here. I just painted it one Sunday afternoon, hung it on her wall that night, and that was that. :)

2. Redecorate our front living room. (The purple needs to go! Soon.) Well, friends, the purple still needs to go. We actually bought the paint in October, but between life and more life, the living room is still an unfortunate shade of purple.

3. Start an Etsy store so I can sell my jewelry. Ok, so I’m not selling jewelry. But selling hats on Etsy counts, right? 😉 

4. Take some kind of lessons…guitar, voice, djembe…still deciding, but leaning toward djembe. I went with guitar and started in April. It’s good…am learning a lot and even played a real bar chord, though it wasn’t pretty. :) 

5. Complete a marathon. (Edit…1/2 marathon.) Didn’t happen. Though a half marathon is on the list for this May, and then we’ll see. I don’t have any plans to run a full marathon yet…to be honest, though I love running, four hours straight of running does not really sound even remotely enjoyable. I think I need my marathon-running friends to give me a little push here. :)

6. Run a 5k in less than 30 minutes. This actually happened several times during the year, which was a boost. I broke 30 for the first time in May and am now running my regular 5k around 28:00 flat, give or take. My fastest clocked one was around 27:15…factor in a few stops for cars that don’t yield to pedestrians (or runners). I’ll take it. :) Would still love to hit the 26’s…we’ll see. :)

7. Continue blogging at least three times a week once January 24th has passed. Yep, got that one covered. :)

8. (Re)Learn how to sew and make a bag out of some of my Indonesian batik I still have. Nope. I thought about pulling out the sewing machine several times but never actually did it. I love to teach myself new things, but sewing scares me.

9. Finish the rough draft of my book, Lessons From Indo: On Life, Love, and Squatty Potties, and submit it to at least one publisher. Am late on this one, but the plan is to be done by May. Extremely grateful for the chance to be part of the God-Sized Dream Team…these women are such an encouragement as I navigate something that is really new. It’s one thing to write a blog…it’s a completely foreign place to write a book. Really praying it will happen in 2013!

10. Continue developing discipline in my life by spending time in God’s Word each day…whether two minutes or two hours. This one could be a post all on it’s own. I’m not sure why I even set this goal because for me, it was unattainable. Don’t misunderstand me…I love my Father and His Word. But, honestly, I didn’t read the Bible every day. I don’t know if that makes me a bad Christian or just an honest one. Maybe I’ll hash this one out more later. :)

11. Guest write for another blog at least once. (The Patch doesn’t count.) I didn’t pursue this one like I should have…I found myself most content just writing at my own place and linking up other places, which provided some new bloggy friends. To me, that’s worth it. :) But I do have a guest post coming out next month on (in)courage…not sure of the date but will let you all know when it’s up! This one, in particular, was really a blessing because one of the editors wrote and asked me if they could use something I’d written. I must be doing something right. Thank you, God. :)

12. Go on an actual vacation with Tobin (and no Mae) to celebrate our 10th. We stomped our feet (well, not really) through Marbella, Spain; Tangier, Morocco; and Paris, France. It was a crazy adventure, as all trips we take together seem to be. We missed Maelie, but it was good time to spend together, and we had a really memorable time. Spain gave us our time to relax, Morocco was an insanely crazy adventure that left me dying to go back and explore more, and Paris was a dream come true, complete with bread. (We even kissed under the Eiffel Tower!) 

It was a wonderful 2012, though not everything turned out as I had first pictured. In many ways, it was better.

Here’s to a wonderful 2013!

Blessings to each of you, and thanks for being part of my barefoot journey!

God is so Good.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, family, goals, just life, Maelie, remembering, running, Tobin, travel, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Collisions

December 30, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Is it bad to tell you that for the last week writing has been about the last thing I’ve wanted to do?

I especially felt guilty about that as I’d read the blogs of friends…they were all so inspiring and beautiful as each writer managed to take something profound from the birth of Jesus and apply it to life now.

I mean, it’s Christmas, after all. That’s when bloggers are supposed to pull out their best writing.

Not me.

And I suppose it’s not that way for everyone. It’s just how I feel. How I felt as I labored, literally, over each word in the last week, trying to pull beautiful out of seemingly nowhere.

And as I opened my laptop tonight, part of me just wanted to go to bed and do some more non-writing.

Which, I guess, is the opposite of writing.

Which makes me a genius for figuring that out? 😉

At any rate, yeah.

Life is just a strange collision right now.

In some ways, that’s not a diversion from the normal of life. There are always ups and downs, joys and sorrows, things that make me laugh and others that make me cry, times of being surrounded and times of loneliness.

I usually have no problem processing those things, but for some reason, it feels almost impossible to scribble out anything worth reading lately.

That’s why I post pictures like this one. Hey, when you have a cute little princess dancing for the camera, who needs words? 😉

But if I’m being honest, life is a mix of crazy confusion and big blessing right now.

I’m supposed to be in the thick of book-writing right now, and instead I’m wading through a swamp of doubt and fear and insecurity.

To be blunt…it sucks.

Not only does it just suck…but it’s suckING me down, slowly.

I’m questioning purpose, the right to dream, and if I’ve actually got what it takes to follow through. It’s discouraging, at-times depressing, and just feels…wrong.

It feels wrong to be even feeling those things when there are so many blessings surrounding me.

Because there really are.

Friends, family, community, church, sisters and dreamers…all good things. And there are so many more.

I know I am blessed, but I am also reminded that any journey toward a goal isn’t without challenges.

Most of you know that I’m writing a book with the goal of being finished by May. (I’m shooting for much sooner, but well see. :)) I could use prayer.

Prayer for focus…that I will keep my eyes on what I’ve set out to accomplish. And that I’ll keep them on my Father and what He’s asking me to do.

Prayer for balance…because I’m still a wife and mommy, and those two titles take precedence over “writer” each and every moment, as they should.

Prayer for wisdom…that God will guide my words and help me to speak Truth without being culturally offensive. (This is a big fear of mine because some of my writing deals with life in another culture.)

Prayer for love…that each word will be just that.

Thanks for reading my collision of words tonight. Blessings to you all as you close out 2012…can you believe it?! Time just zips by.

Love this quote I found today…maybe it will add some inspiration to your day, too. :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, friends, goals, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, prayer, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Friday Photo

December 28, 2012 by · 1 Comment

Dance like no one is watching.

My Maelie girl, you are amazing. I love you so much!

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie

‘Tis the Season

December 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Just being up front here…I celebrate Christmas ’til New Years. K? 😉

That’s why when my girl crashed for the night at 6 pm (really), I decided to make myself a mocha and curl up on the couch under my favorite flannel blanket to do some writing. I think the Christmas tree lights are inspiring. :)

We had a great Christmas.

Really great.

It seems that the last few we’ve spent here have each looked different, but they’ve all been good. This year we spent Christmas Eve with some sweet friends from church, and then we spent Christmas Day just the three of us.

It was nice. :)

This was the first year that Maelie really understood the concept of baby Jesus and Christmas presents…it was so much fun to see Christmas through the eyes of a little girl. She slept in, and once she was up we took our time with gifts. She’d open one or two, play for awhile, we stopped to make breakfast, read a few stories, opened a few more gifts, played more, opened the rest, and then finally opened our stockings. I think we finished around one in the afternoon, and it was perfect. :)

A few pics of the fun. What a cutie. :)

Santa brought a “Cinderella toy”, just like she wished for. :)

Her “very own iPad!” (her words ;)) Though she doesn’t have the concept yet, she will soon enough, and Mommy and Daddy shout out a huge “thank you!” to Grandma Rose and Grandpa and Wilma O for making road trips more enjoyable. :)

Yesterday we trekked (not really…it’s an easy, just-over-an-hour drive) to Janesville to see some dear Indo-friends who now teach in Peru but were home for Christmas. I love these reunions, and we have been blessed with many of them. We also got to catch up with more friends who were passing through the area…it was just a great, big Indo-reunion. So fun. :)

Today we just took it easy. Did a Target run as a family…the kind where our hilarious (read: possibly slightly dramatic) daughter completely chilled out in the cart and kicked her feet up. Oh, I love her and the countless ways she brings a smile to my face…and to my heart. :)

It was a busy afternoon of princess-playing and Tinkerbell-watching and cookie-munching, (hey, I said I celebrate ’til New Years!) and by five this afternoon, she’d had it. She snuggled up close for a story, a few songs, and went to sleep.

And I smile.

I love the traditions we’re beginning as a family.

I feel so loved.

Life is just really, really…blessed.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, where I am
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