To most people, silence is golden.
I think of that often, especially since I’m mama to the sweetest…and possibly most talkative ever…toddler. We DO have a good time…we also do a lot of chatting. 😉
So for me, if there’s too much silence, something is wrong.
Which is actually funny if any of you knew me at all between the ages of 0 and 20-ish.
I kind of didn’t talk much. Or, really, at all.
And then I decided enough was enough…and maybe I started making up for the two decades I didn’t talk. 😉
Honestly, it’s been a test in maturity for me. I can truly talk someone’s ear off…I really have to be careful to keep a rein on my tongue and decide when to use my words and when to use my ears. Because, in my mind, there’s almost nothing better than sitting down with a friend and chatting it up for hours.
And hours.
And even more hours, if we have those hours. 😉
And for a long time in this space, it was the same way. Talk, talk, talk (aka: write, write, write) all the time, every day, without fail.
I began to find my worth in the number of times I hit the publish button on this page.
I was learning anything but silence during that time.
And then it happened…about a year ago. Instead of writing seven days a week, it went down to six. Then five, then four, and I sat at four for quite awhile. And then somewhere in there it went down even further to two or three.
I began to struggle for words…and for a writer, that’s similar to a struggle for air.
And I fought God more than you can possibly imagine.
What’s wrong with me, God? Where are the words? Where are the deep thoughts and lessons?
I felt useless.
Instead of basking in the gift of silence, of reflection, I was fighting it, determined to be noisy and heard.
Oh, Mel.
Mel.
Mel.
Mel.
How often I act like this in life.
Instead of sitting and listening, whether it’s to a dear friend or my husband or my daughter or God…I beg for someone to listen to my words.
Friends, it’s become my time to be silent-er. (I do believe I just made up a new word.) 😉
Actually, it’s been that way for awhile; I just haven’t wanted to admit it.
That’s why this place has been so quiet lately.
There are still a few blog posts each week, but I’m well aware that I don’t share nearly as much as I used to.
The truth is that there’s a lot going on in my heart, and while it feels like He’s been putting me through the fire a little lately, I know His purpose is to refine me.
I’m seeing that refining and taking the time to process some really cool things…and, hopefully, I’ll be able to find the words for them soon.
And that’s really, really good. 
I’m moving forward on a couple of dreams that I haven’t talked about too much here. Yet. 😉
One is in the works…being a contributing writer. And I’ve gotta tell you, friends…it’s been nothing short of incredible to watch God move on this one.
Ooohhh, I really can’t wait to tell you more soon!
And I’m taking a big, scary step and going for another dream today.
I don’t know when I’ll have an answer to this one, but I do know that if I don’t take this step…though it feels more like a gigantic leap off the edge of a cliff?! 😉
I’ll always wonder and wish…and just regret that I let the Chihuahua of Fear win. (Nope, you annoying, little, ankle-biter…you’re not winning this one.)
I’m believing that He’s got good plans always…even when I can’t see them just yet.
I. Just. Need. To. Trust.
And take the time to be still and know that He is God.
He’s. Got. It. All.
So thanks for hanging with me through the quieter days in this space, for stopping by and leaving comment love, for connecting and Tweeting with me…for just being there.
I’m so blessed by each of you.
I’m always proud of what you’ve achieved. I’m hoping and praying the thing you aren’t talking about works out, but it won’t impact what I think, just so you know.
And no, I’m not missing out on the irony that it’s a post about silence…and I’m actually commenting.
Oh, and that picture has always been one of my favorites – I’m glad more people than just us will finally see it.
I’m always up for coffee and hours of talking. 😉
Looking forward to some of your big secrets. I’m sure they’re going to be awesome. And that is an awesome picture.
Thanks!
We’ll have to have coffee and a chat soon…sorry today didn’t work out.
Seasons for everything. You have to sometimes step back and evaluate; especially if you are considering contributing elsewhere. Time will have to be divided, and sometimes there has got to be a little more grace for oneself, and things have to be let go of. After the silence comes the work; but don’t muffle the silence. It is yours; it is your life, it is beautiful and sometimes to meditate in it and enjoy the beauty is worth not posting and posting and posting. God does stuff in our hearts that is sometimes for us to know and ponder. 😉 Hope you are enjoying the beauty of the journey, friend!
Thank you for those sweet words, friend…I needed them today. I think I’m still searching for balance…getting there, but I have a hard time saying no because everything is just too much fun. 😉 I’m learning, though. Blessings…hope you have a great week, Lisa!
Sometimes we are called to be silent in order for God to teach is a lesson that we will one pass on. I pray that God brings all your dreams true within His will and plan.
Thank you, sweet friend. Your encouragement means so much to me. xo
Your dreams sound amazing and I am saying a prayer right now for you, sweet Mel!
Thank you, Ashley! I can’t wait to share more.
Blessings and have a wonderful week, friend!
I lived in Israel for four months back in 1997. The most profound silence I experienced was in Be’er Sheva, in the desert. We had gone to look at a massive crater and the silence was complete. No wind sounds. No bird sounds. No.Thing. And I thought then that perhaps that is what my soul sounded like. Still, quiet, no need for bells and whistles and bird song. We forget that silence is a friend.
Thank you for this.
I need to be reminded (pretty much every day) that there’s nothing wrong with silence. Sounds amazing. Blessings, friend! 
If you ever get a chance, go visit Israel. I must say, the people can be really in your face, but that stillness in Be’er Sheva. I’ll never forget that.