Infinitely Mae

I failed mommyhood today.

Like, an epic failure…it was not pretty.

I’m not sure why…but I was frustrated, annoyed, not at ALL patient, and almost-mean… to my daughter.

I hadn’t seen her most of the morning because I was busy with something and Tobin had the morning off. I literally spent an hour with her, and all of a sudden she was just…difficult.

Translation: she was ONE.

It was hot, she was getting into everything, and so I thought that was the perfect opportunity for her to play in her pool. We suited her up, I plopped her in, and all was good.

For two minutes.

Then she decided to play the game, I-love-to-get-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-my-pool.

40 times.

In between those times, she’d take handfuls of rocks, play with them, try to stick one (or more) in her mouth. You know, the fun things that one year olds do to drive their mommies crazy.

And somewhere in there I just got annoyed.

I had been trying to watch my girl and catch up with a friend on the phone at the same time…and Mae was making that hard.

I gave up after about twenty minutes and took her inside, gave her an afternoon bottle, and put her down for her nap.

And then I felt horrible.

What was it that Mae was doing SO wrong? Nothing, really. Other than being herself.

She woke up around 4:15, which gave me time to play with her before I had to leave for my hair appointment.

As I was soaking up the Mae-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-cuddle moments, I started to make up a song for her.

And some where in the song, the words, And you are infinitely Mae, came out of my mouth.

She giggled, I smiled…and then I realized how true those words were.

It’s exactly who she is… the best possible Mae in

the world.

There is no other person in the world who can be Maelie better than she can.

Sure, she will do things that get on my nerves.

Of course she’s going to get into trouble…she’s one year old and curious.

Yes, she will put rocks in her mouth occasionally because that’s just what kids do.

And every day, she will melt my heart because she’s my girl.

We’ll have days like today sometimes.

When they happen, I need to do two things.

Work on replacing my impatience with love. And have more grace for myself, too.

I love my Mae… and all that she is.

Even on days like today.