Coffee Thoughts

Tonight…yeah.

A bunch of scattered thoughts.

Coffee, definitely.

And sleep, early. Hopefully.

Yes, I am completely aware of what an insane oxymoron those last two lines were. 😉

I was realizing that over the last two weeks, most of my posts have been somewhat shallow. I hope that those of you who read here often know that’s really not me. It’s not, I promise…and I’ll always tell you that one of the things I really can’t stand is superficial.

It’s just that sometimes it’s so hard to be deep when life feels so upside-down.

I can’t go into it tonight. Maybe I’ll share part of it later…I’m just processing a lot and waiting on God for answers. Not easy, especially when the emotional, dramatic tendencies tend to so easily take over my thoughts and days, making things often seem bigger than they are.

I beat myself up for feeling things I do and for not having answers.

That’s basically the drawn-out description of the word, Wait. (You know, that thing I do so well.) 😉

It seems like more often than not, my plans tend to not turn out just as I’ve pictured them. Really, I think we could all say that. I’m human…something I especially rock at. 😉

It’s so hard for me to give things completely to God. I want to, but in my prideful, less-than-thinking-of-others moments, I get it in my head that I can somehow do a better job.

All of those really scattered pieces to say…I’m thankful. For a God who takes me…in all of my wandering and flailing and fighting…and loves me unconditionally. What an encouragement to my heart to know that He can take something of the mess I am and make it beautiful.

And, honestly, after the last year or so, I’m expecting something pretty amazing. I love that He can do that.

More importantly, that He will.

So now that I’ve been a little less shallow…

Life is…life.

With a two year-old, it seems that it’s always an adventure. We are in the thick of No way! and Go away! and I find myself wondering what happened to my parenting and my daughter. Our days are filled with so many wonderful moments and memories I’ll hold forever, yet one solitary incident leading to a temper tantrum which then leads to a time-out can ruin a good part of a day.

I know she’s two. (It’s what everyone tells me.) 😉

I know she won’t always fight me when I force her to take off her princess jammies. (You know, the ones she’s worn for a consecutive twelve days.) 😉

I know we’ll both grow through these mother/daughter battles and emerge with a stronger bond.

Because I know she’s two. And I’ll blink and she’ll be sixteen.

I’ve tried to focus on the joys that make up a day. I can honestly say that each night when I sing to her and pray with her, I fall in love just a little more. The frustrations of things melt away, and my heart feels so full I think it’s going to burst.

She truly is such a big part of my JOY.

She also starts gymnastics this week, which we are BOTH excited about. I think she’ll love it. And hopefully she’ll quit doing somersaults off the end of the couch. 😉

I’ve been good with running this past week, and though it’s sometimes-tough to drag myself out of bed so early, I’m always glad I did it. My goal this week is 20 miles. (Gosh no, not all at once!) I’m slowly upping my distance, though, and it feels good.

Now I just need to quit making dessert.

I made this today. It’s one of my favorites, and it was so amazing. (I sent some to our dear friends across the street because I knew I’d eat it all if we kept it.)

My other downfall is this. (Which I cannot seem to find on the internet. But go look in the freezer section of your grocery store…I promise it’s there.) Thank you SO much, Cool Whip, for taking two of my very favorite things and throwing them together into one container of gooey, yummy-ness. (Hope you could sense the dripping sarcasm there…)

Cool Whip frosting…no cake required. (I can so see myself doing a commercial for them, can’t you? ;))

Well, I should head toward bed. Early morning tomorrow, and I definitely need to be up to run off all of that frosting…

Hope you all had a great weekend. 😉