writing

God-Sized Dreams: Looking Back at a Year

December 31, 2013 by Mel · 22 Comments

I’ve gotta admit something to you, my sweet and faithful readers.

I have procrastinated this post up and down and all around. I have known for weeks…weeks…that it needed to be written. I’ve had days in those weeks when I could have easily taken an hour, gotten comfy on the couch under my awesome sherpa blanket, and pounded out the words you are about to read.

At least, I hope you are about to read them. (I still have to actually WRITE them. Ahem.)

😉

It isn’t that I don’t want to…it’s because when I look back at this year, I almost don’t know where to start.

Except at the very beginning, so here goes. Please stick with me? Thanks a bunch.

It really began in 2012, on a cold (and early!) November morning when I was sitting at the table, eyes a bit glazed over, hand clutching my first cup of coffee, making my bloggy rounds. (The list was a lot shorter then.)

I found myself at (in)courage, really the site where it all began for me. I love that sweet space so much and drop by several times a week for the wisdom, laughter, and love these precious sisters share with their readers. That particular morning, I found myself clicking around more than usual, and I landed on a post written by my sweet and now-dear friend, Holley Gerth.

An invitation, really.

She was putting together a God-Sized Dream Team…and would I like to be part of it?

Of course I would!

She was accepting 99 women, and oh…Oh. How. My. Hopes. Flew. Way. Up. Beyond. The. Clouds.

I quickly filled out the application, sharing that my dream was to publish my book.

And when I sent in that application, that’s what I thought. That the heart of my dream was to write a book. Publish it. Maybe be famous, too.

A few weeks later, I received the e-mail that sent me on a little happy dance across my living room. (I really do happy dance. Often. You should try it sometime.) 😉 I’m thrilled to let you know that you’ve been chosen as part of the God-Sized Dream Team!

And what followed in those six months, which turned into a year and now more than a year…

There were gifts like intentional time to find my strengths and pray through how God can use them. (For a non-organized person like myself, this was a good thing. My focus often needs to be narrowed down.) I also learned the importance of carving out that time to pursue book-writing, and I faithfully visited Starbucks (SUCH a chore ;)) weekly to pound out as many words as possible on the rough draft.

In just a few months, I had completed my rough draft and handed it to my first friend.

Dream definitely on its way to being realized.

Yes?

Or, maybe…the dreams were just starting to grow.

Over the course of a year, a little piece at a time, He began to show me that it wasn’t just one dream. While there’s definitely a book in there (and oh, how I can’t wait to share it with all of you!!!) there’s so much more.

SO much more.

Dreams like being the best possible wife and mommy…a dream that I have to daily place in His hands and pray through.

Dreams like someday working on a medical ship as a family. (Yeah, this one’s BIG.)

Dreams like traveling to Uganda to help clean the jiggers from the feet of little children and give them shoes. Shoes that will save their lives…and tell them about the Jesus who saved them, too.

Even dreams that I didn’t know were in my heart…You see, I’d been so used to writing…just writing. Not really connecting, just sharing words and rarely going beyond my little online space.

And then, somehow, God took a group of 99 women and built a family. These women? They’re my sisters. I’ve had the privilege to hug many of them in real life…but all of our hearts are connected.

photo credit: Melissa Aldrich

And then, He took a few of us, and we formed a smaller Mastermind group…and from that, the dream of a brave sister became a new site for dreamers, one that launched yesterday.

And my dream of being a contributing writer came true. The one I’d been so afraid to speak aloud.

I feel humbled, blessed, and honored to even be part of it.

So when I look back at this year of dreaming God-Sized Dreams???

I see blessings…almost too many to even count.

A finished rough draft. Even a meeting with an agent. (I still haven’t written about that, have I?!) 😉

Hugs and heart spills with friends…those in real life and those online. The gift of community is precious.

Prayer times and Google Hangouts.

Voxer and the laughter, love, and sometimes-embarrassment it has brought to my days.

Allowing my heart to bleed even more for what God is doing all over the world.

Learning to take His hand each day and trust Him with my dreams.

And the reminder that sometimes dreams come in the everyday, extraordinary…like this. And there’s nothing small about these kind of dreams, either.

So how do I wrap up a year?

I don’t.

This journey isn’t over. In fact, I’ll be sharing tomorrow what’s next…or, at least, what I think is next.

This year…oh, He’s shown me just how much MORE He can do…beyond what I could have ever hoped or dreamed. He’s SO Good.

And I am so, so thankful. Praise Him for all of it.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

And today, friends?

We’re linking up at the new God-Sized Dreams website! I hope you’ll stop by, read the stories of other dreamers, and even share yours, too! And thanks to each of you for sharing your lives and being a part of mine. You bless me more than you will ever know.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, community, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, remembering, where I am, writing

When Dreams Come True

December 30, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

I’ve written this post in my head about 636 times. 😉

It’s so funny how things that are so big, so life-changing, so amazing to my heart…are sometimes equally difficult to write about.

And this one? Well, I want to do it justice…because it’s all about dreams. God-sized Dreams.

And I’ll be sharing more tomorrow about how God took the ones in my heart and grew them beyond anything I could have ever imagined. ‘Cause He’s awesome like that.

But today, I want to share this brand new space with you.

It’s the dream of a sister and friend, Christine…she bravely stepped forward and obeyed when God said, Yes. Do this. I’ve got it. All.

And we have certainly seen that He does have it all…down to every last, even often small, detail. As we’ve prayed over this space…and shed a few tears before praying some more…we’ve seen Him move and guide.

And now there’s a beautiful place for dreamers to connect.

Today her dream becomes a sweet, beautiful, reality, and she’s invited me, along with several of my sisters, to be part of the journey. And that means that my own God-sized Dream of being a contributing writer comes true today, too. Squeeeee!

Dreams all over the place are comin’ true, I tell ya! 😉

I hope you’ll take the time today to stop by and leave her some sweet encouragement and comment love…she has such an amazing heart for God-sized Dreamers, and I know her words…and her heart behind them…will bless you.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, community, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am, writing

Just a Chat (with Coffee)

December 20, 2013 by Mel · 4 Comments

It’s one of those mornings…oh, don’t misunderstand me. I love a good Friday morning. (Especially when it comes with coffee, and it always does.) It’s just the kind of morning where throwing out confessions feels freeing.

Don’t judge...sometimes it’s just good for the soul.

Confessions like, I haven’t vacuumed the kitchen floor in two, give-or-take, days. (Black kitchen, golden retrievers, you do the math.)

Ahem.

Or, that for about the thirteenth time this week, I jacked up the heat three degrees and am sitting on the heating vent in the kitchen, snuggled under the most amazing, sherpa-lined blanket ever, thanks to a fantastic Christmas party/gift exchange. I’m a sucker for an awesome blanket…I kind of never want to crawl out from under it. 😉 (And, while we’re talking about blankets and heating vents, I am fully expecting a heating blanket for Christmas…that’s kind of a serious confession. And maybe a little hint.)

😉

Or, I could somewhat-embarrassingly confess that I don’t want to wash my hair today because the faux hawk my stylist gave me a couple days ago is awesome. (Though I rock it nowhere near as well as the beautiful Crystal.) 😉 And yes, I am posting a selfie. I promise I am not one of those people…I just am today. 😉

Or, that I completely feel like a Christmas shopping failure. Even though I’m finished. I have managed, TWICE now, to buy the wrong size in a certain gift for my hubby. The first time, I guessed the size wrong, and the second time, I bought the right size. (Or so it was marked.) Got it home…and, WRONG. Can I just tell you that I really don’t want to go back to the mall? Ugh. (No picture…we need some actual surprises in our house on Christmas morning.) 😉

And though it might not fall into the confession category exactly, I’m gonna take a little bloggy break until after Christmas. I want the next days of this beautiful season to be spent with my little family, my church family, and my friends…focusing on the real Reason we celebrate. I have to admit that it brought tears to my eyes today as I watched my daughter acting out the Christmas story with her little people. Such sweet, precious moments, and I don’t want to miss any of them. Oh, she melts my heart, even on the super silly days.

Golly, I love her.

But be sure to stop back by around the 30th because I have something cool…or maybe more than cool…to share with all of you.

I kind of can’t wait…I’m so thankful to God for all He’s doing, and I can’t wait to tell you all about how one of my big dreams is coming true. Now I know you’ll come back…haha! 😉

Until then…

Merry Christmas, sweet friends!

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, family, God-Sized Dreams, hair, just life, Maelie, where I am, writing

Just Blogging Today

November 27, 2013 by Mel · 16 Comments

I haven’t just written in soooooo long.

Or, just shared pictures.

So, hi. Let’s do that today.

I remember when I first started this blog a few years ago, I’d sit down with a cup of coffee and just write to you all…tell you about life, tell you about where I am, tell you about the flavor of creamer in my coffee cup. (Pumpkin spice today, since I know you care. ;))

That stopped…and there are reasons why, and maybe I’ll share those another day.

But there are things I can tell you today, so why not? 😉

So it’s Thanksgiving, and we are headed up north. (Such a Minnesota term.) 😉 This time, though, to Green Bay to see some of his family. That will be fun…but, confession? And not really a new one…I hate to be cold. It’s gotten worse since moving back from Indonesia, but thankfully the weather report is sunny and not too frigid.

Some of you may have seen this picture on facebook…Maelie got her own tree for her bedroom, and she’s beyond ecstatic about the fact that it’s hers and all things sparkle. This is one of my favorite pictures of the two of us ever…and it’s a memory I will always hold close. She looks happy in the picture…but I wish you could have seen the excitement and heard the squeals as she raced around the room, almost unable to contain her joy in between hanging pink ornaments. Yes, pink. 😉

I kind of want to live like that every day…well, minus the pink ornaments.

And I still haven’t fully processed Allume. In fact, I might be the last person who attended to actually write about it. Sometimes you just can’t force the words, ya know? I’m working on one post that’s not quite there yet…it’s heavy but even so much more amazing that I’m still trying to wrap my brain around all that God did…and is still doing.

I also want to tell you about the book. And how I left Allume with hope instead of hurt and, for the first time, the actual desire to let God do with it what He wants, instead of me pushing it like crazy. I’m taking a break until January, and then the plan is to look (and pray!) for an agent. And actually pursue publishing it. Squeeeeee!

And I want to share pictures and tell stories of women who have made such an impact. I’m not kidding when I tell you that hugging them (in)RL was a highlight of my year. Lisa-Jo, Ann, Holley, Kristin, Delonna, Christine, Gindi, Mandy, Julie, Crystal, Laura, Kim, Elise…and so many more. So many sister-stories to tell, and I want to tell them. How they’ve changed my life and my community, every single one of them.

Me with Lisa-Jo…hugging her was like hugging an old friend. So thankful for her and her heart for community!

And, Holley…my sweet friend and mentor. She is truly as beautiful, kind, and wonderful (in)RL as she is through the words on her blog and in her books. The whole weekend felt like being home with her and my wonderful GSDT sisters.

Love ’em! Oh, girls, how I miss you…and making silly faces in the photo booth with you!

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

October 29, 2013 by Mel · 26 Comments

This?

This is cake.

It’s my love language. (Well, one of many.) 😉

And this particular piece of cake? It was eaten on Sunday, late morning.

After my roomies had left.

After I’d said (and cried over) a lot of goodbyes.

After I’d made a quick jaunt to this sweet little coffee shop with a dear friend.

I just needed a little time to think…about an amazing weekend spent surrounded by so many of my beautiful sisters.

Well, I also needed something amazing to eat as I attempted to cram all of those sweet, awesome, swag goodies into my suitcase. Trust me, friends…when they tell you to bring an extra suitcase, Just. Do. It.

Says the girl who checked a 50.5 pound bag and toted a way-too-heavy carry-on through the airport. 😉

Anyway, back to Allume.

Amazing.

Life-changing.

Love-led.

Spirit-filled.

It was overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming.

And, honestly, I can’t begin to process it all just yet. (Hence, the reason this post is #1 of about 212…)

Because I’ll want to tell you about how the country of Uganda wiggled its way into my heart, probably forever.

Or how I was blessed to meet with an agent and take another step with my book.

About how I met some truly fabulous women who are just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

And those posts will come, but they’re not quite here yet…I’m still processing, still smiling, and a teeny tiny part of my heart is grieving that the weekend is over. Yep, still rockin’ the ENFP all over the place. 😉

But I can begin with cake.

And?

This.

photo credit: Melissa Aldrich, Quiet Graces

My beautiful sisters.

This group of women who daily inspire me in my walk with Jesus. They live with passionate abandon, they prayer-cover those who struggle, they give an abundance of hugs, they laugh loud and love even louder.

They listen to my stories and share theirs with me.

We do life together…and even if it’s more through computer screens than at coffee tables, I will hold them in my heart forever.

More stories on the way…probably 211 of them. 😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, blessings, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

October 22, 2013 by Mel · 24 Comments

I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her.

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, God-Sized Dreams, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: When You Just Need a Refill

October 8, 2013 by Mel · 23 Comments

There’s a scene that greets me every morning, usually before six, that looks something like this.

For a coffee ~~guzzler~~ drinker like me, this particular scene could be considered tragic…because it means I actually need to get up out of my chair, leave my blanket behind, and shuffle to the kitchen for a refill. Yes, I’m freezing in the morning and am usually wrapped up as much as possible while I do my Bible study… 😉

That refill? It’s just what needs to happen because I know it’s not good for anyone…and I do mean anyone…if I choose to face by day with just one cup of caffeine. 😉

Maybe that was a bit of a stretch…but it’s so fitting for where my heart sits right now.

I am totally that empty coffee cup, the one with just the last few drops left…the one that is begging for a refill, for the good of everyone.

Friends, my words are gone, and I feel like I’m running on the fumes.

It’s been that way for the last few weeks as I’ve tried to write, tried to share…and nothing comes.

It frustrates me…I compare myself with others who are so good, with those who manage to string such amazing words together for days in a row, and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.

Which also tells me something…that, potentially, I’ve found too much of my identity in being a writer and not enough in being His daughter.

So there are facts. A lot of them.

I’m writing a book. Actually, it’s written. (I’ll still shout out an Amen! for that one. It feels good. ;))

But, more accurately, I’m writing a book proposal. (Or trying to.) Yep, this wordless thing also carries over to proposals, and I’m currently staring down a 15-day deadline. (Double yikes.)

The timing for this whole where-are-my-words? thing isn’t great. All year I’ve been looking forward to this amazing blogging conference…the one where I will have a chance to learn from and connect with so many awesome women and friends, in real life, that up until now I only know through computer screens. There’s also the opportunity to talk with publishers…kind of a necessary step toward becoming published. And here I am, throwing myself into a mix of writers when I don’t feel like one myself.

I know it’s a lie…one that the enemy desperately wants me to believe. One I can’t choose to believe. I can’t.

Because there’s also Truth.

A lot of it.

The truth is that I’m a bit empty…in a dry and desperately-needing-a-refill season. The kind where I spend more time soaking up than pouring…and though it’s hard, I have to continually tell myself that it’s not bad.

The truth is also that there are times…like now…when He asks me to sit at His feet and just be. To wait and listen and still praise…and be filled with Truth and His love and rest in the fact that I’m His daughter and that His plan for me will be fulfilled when it’s time.

I know this time of filling is so important…but it’s not what I had planned on for this season.

I had planned. No surprise to Him, though.

So I got up again this morning. Shuffled to the kitchen. (Yep, totally wrapped in my blanket…the turquoise and brown zebra print one, since I know you care about such details… ;)) Made the coffee. Sat down with my first mug and open my Bible. It’s 6:05 a.m. and the scene above is staring me down right now.

I think it’s time for a refill.

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Wishing you all a great day! If you’ve got time, I know you’ll love the stories my friends are sharing today! You can click on the link below to find them.

Filed Under: barefoot, Behind the Scenes, coffee, encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

October 1, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

Hey, friends.

Just up front, I don’t know why I feel the need to explain this, but I do. It’s not me defending myself…I promise. Just a this-is-why explanation. With a cute picture at the end. 😉

So, it’s October…and I have to admit that I’ve been waiting for this month for a loooooong time. Not only do I love fall and pretty much all things pumpkin spice (who doesn’t?!), but it’s also the month when I finally get to wrap my arms around the necks of so many amazing women who have walked this dreaming and writing journey with me in the last year.

I almost want to actually get up and do a cartwheel in the living room, but it’s early, and I’m tired, so I’ll refrain from that…but I will let out a virtual

Squeeeeeeeee!

Thanks for letting me do that. 😉

This is also the month when a lot of my blogging community is participating in the Nester’s 31 Day’s series.

I love the idea…blogging for 31 days (the entire month) about a specific topic. (I actually did my own version of it a couple years ago.) And I’ve gotta be honest here…I’m dying to participate.

But I know me…and I know my current season. I’m very aware of a certain book proposal and chapter edits that are hanging over my head. (Good stuff but time consuming, to say the least.) I’ve gotta keep my head on straight (haha…does that ever happen?! ;)) and focus on the dream and taking the opportunities that are there…I might not have them again.

And?

I’ve also got this great little girl…and the days are slipping by.

Too quickly.

To the point where I want to run upstairs and interrupt her beautiful sleep at 6 a.m. just so I can hold her in my arms before she gets any bigger.

This season, God is also calling me to something great beyond writing: He’s calling me to embrace being a mommy completely.

I don’t say no well.

But I said no to blogging 31 days…not because I think it’s a bad idea. (In fact, I think it’s an awesome one!) But because, this season, He’s got greater things for me.

Things like…

...stepping away from the computer and going to the park.

...leaving my phone in the house and going outside to swing with my girl.

…putting down my Kindle and picking up a story to read with her.

…Pounding out a book proposal and editing like crazy when she’s sleeping. (Had to throw that in…it’s my reality. :))

All of those things.

Plus…taking the time to skip down sidewalks while holding a handful of flowers.

Ok, ok, maybe I’ll leave that to her…but I might grab her hand and join her one of these days! 😉

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Take some time today and stop by if you can…the hearts of these beautiful women who share their stories will encourage you as you read what’s happening behind the camera lens.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

September 16, 2013 by Mel · 27 Comments

This picture has popped up on my blog a few times lately.

Yeah, I think she’s pretty adorable.

A couple months ago, we took advantage of a Groupon deal and hired a photographer to come out to our C’ville stomping grounds and take some family pictures.

Let me tell you, friends…with a spunky toddler like we have, this was a tall order to fill.

But he rocked it, despite the fact that she was constantly on the move.

And? He managed to capture this gem.

To say that I. Completely. Love. It. is just scratching the surface.

Because what this is…it’s me and my girl and my passion and my heart all miraculously captured in one, beautiful photo.

For years, I have dreamed of writing. Of blogging, of publishing, of making a name for myself. (I didn’t say all of these were noble aspirations.) 😉

And during those years, another dream of mine has been dancing around my feet, sometimes holding my hand, sometimes spinning on her own.

This girl.

Maelie girl.

She’s fabulous.

And she’s my calling, my dream, my heart.

She is who I want to be my priority every second of the day.

Even over writing and blogging and publishing and being all that those things bring.

And so this picture…this snapshot of our moments…it represents so much.

Because I love my daughter to the moon and back. (Plus infinity…just ask her. ;))

I still love to write…

I still want to publish a book…

I still dream of being a contributor on a blog…and that one is happening soon, so stay tuned!

But my point?

Is that I want moments like the one in this photo all the time.

I want her all the time.

And so…I’m redefining.

Making mommyhood, marriage, a follower of my Father, a friend…priorities.

Oh, I’ll still write…’cause a writer still needs air sometimes. Plus, I just love to write…I can’t give it up.

But I’ll do that when she’s in bed. Or having her quiet time. Or watching her hour of tv (hour, not hourS).

😉

And I’m not perfect. I’ll fumble, I’ll fail, I’ll write a blog post while she watches yet another episode of Sofia the First or Doc McStuffins.

But where my heart is now?

It’s in that place where I don’t want to miss a single moment.

Ever.

And, friends?

I’ve been given a great opportunity, one I am incredibly thankful for, one I didn’t plan on…but one that God was weaving into His plan all along.

I am completely blown away by the opportunity to be an (in)courager.

Squeeeeeeeee! 😉 (Plus, imagine a little happy dancing, too.)

I am so excited to encourage and invest in the lives of other stay-at-home mommas like me…ones who, I have a feeling, struggle with many of the same things I do.

(In)courage has a new session of (in)courager groups kicking off this week, and registration is open! If you’re looking for a small group, a place to connect with women in the same season of life, a place to be encouraged…this is exactly for you.

You can go here to read the heart behind (in)courager groups AND to find one that is the perfect fit for you. Of course, I’d love it if you joined my group, but look for the one that best meets you in your current season. (And as of tonight, my group is full…but there are TONS of groups…go find one! ;))

Behind the Scenes: Just Breathe

September 9, 2013 by Mel · 20 Comments

There are few moments…few…in the life of this extrovert when space is needed.

Yep, I’m mostly being serious.

I thrive from time spent with friends, my family…and it’s possible I thrive equally on caffeine, too. (Just keepin’ it real today, friends. ;))

That’s why I surprised myself last week.

Or, maybe it wasn’t really a surprise. That much, anyway. I’d seen it coming for awhile.

You see…this space has been going for almost three years. Yep, that’s a long time for Mel to stick to anything. I wrote a lot more during the first two years, but I’ve been posting at least twice, sometimes three times, a week since I started my blog.

And it’s slowly taken it’s toll.

Not always in a bad way, but I was exhausted. Emotional. Potentially starting to detest the idea of sitting down to splash out words from a tired heart that didn’t want the gift of words anymore.

But we can’t always throw away our gifts, can we? And, to be honest, I didn’t really want to.

And so I took a break. As in, I replied to the comments from last Tuesday, and I broke for a week.

That was not an easy thing for me to do.

My online community…where many of my sweet sisters and friends dwell…they were thriving and sharing life, and everything in me wanted to glue myself back together, take back my words, and rejoin them to tweet and pin and insta-whatever…just be a present part of their lives.

But I didn’t.

And instead, I embraced this.

This path.

This quiet.

It’s one I used to detest.

Going on and on with not a whole lot more than solitude and creepy woods, it used to bore me to tears. (Not really…no actual tears involved. Just sweat running over my eyes, but that’s kind of the same thing, right?!) 😉

Last week I pounded out over 22 miles on this path.

Part of that is because I somehow got myself signed up for a 10k that involves a lot of running and a lot of hills and, therefore, I need to train my body to go further than 3.1 miles.

But I don’t think that’s the only reason I ran it over and over.

Do you ever have those weeks, friends?

The kind when you question everything?

I’d like to say that I spent this time in prayer…in praising God for His amazing creation. In thanking Him for giving me the physical ability to actually run multiple miles without (mostly) feeling like I’m going to die. In lifting up friends and those I love who are hurting.

Sadly, I think I spent more of my time arguing with Him…telling Him how I thought things should be.

How this writing thing should be easier and the words should just be flowing…it shouldn’t be this hard.

How relationships should be a lot less complicated, too…why can’t we just get along all the time?

And telling Him that I think now (or, at least nine months from now) is the perfect time for us to have another baby…and why doesn’t He think so, too?!

There was a lot more than that, I’m sure. (And so you all aren’t disappointed, I did still sing along sometimes.) 😉

But in the middle of it, even after unleashing that much frustration…I still heard Him.

Breathe. Just Breathe.

I’ve got this.

Friends, I struggle every day.

I struggle to accept the fact that He truly does have it all.

Because I have a plan in my head that seems *so perfect*…and I forget that my plans should be His and surrendered and taken out of my fully-open palms and placed into His.

Oh, how hard that is to do.

This is the path where I told Him all of that as my feet pounded and the tears mixed with sweat and the words

Lord, I need You, Oh, I need You

played over and over.

That time for me and my heart and Him.

And now I’m back.

I’m not sure what’s different yet, but something is.

Because He’s Good and He hears the hearts of His children.

**************************

On Tuesdays, I link up with my friend, Crystal, at her space for Behind the Scenes.

If you have some time, feel free to stop by for some great stories of the fun and funny, the sad, the joyful…all of those things that happen behind the camera lens. I hope you’ll join us!

Filed Under: barefoot, Behind the Scenes, encouragement, just life, running, where I am, writing

God-Sized Dreams: Looking Back at a Year

When Dreams Come True

Just a Chat (with Coffee)

Just Blogging Today

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

Behind the Scenes: When You Just Need a Refill

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

Behind the Scenes: Just Breathe

Mel

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