My God-Sized Dream: Deep Breath…

What do you really want more of in your life? Will you dare to say it out loud?

Well, since you’re asking…I really want more coffee and sleep. (Strange paradox, I know.) :) And, silly, but I’ve kinda been hoping for a pair of these…I can’t believe this world traveler has stomped her feet in so many places without a pair of TOMS. ๐Ÿ˜‰ย 

But since those probably aren’t acceptable (or inspiring) answers, we can talk a little longer.

:)

This was another question I wrestled with over the last week, but I think that wrestling and battling was so much against my own fear…and Iย think what’s coming out of it is good.

Scary, but good.

Though, up front you need to know that this. is. the. scariest. post. I’ve. ever. written.

Please be gentle with my heart.

Deep breath…here we go.

*******************

In the fall semester of 2007, over our Idul Fitri break from school, some friends and I flew up to Sumatra to visit Bukit Lawang, an orangutan preserve. Included in that long weekend was a day-long jungle hike.

Forgive me here for not sharing too many fun details. This may, or may not, be a chapter in my book. :)

At some point during that hike, we stopped for a water break, and I took the time to really look around me.

Vines everywhere…it was totally like the movie Tarzan. And I’d kinda had this dream to be Jane at one point in my life. :)

It was at that moment I realized there was an opportunity in front of me…one that, if I didn’t take then, I might never have again.

So I asked our guide to cut me a vine so I could swing.

He looked at me, laughed a little, and then obliged. He was even kind enough to test it out for me.

I was scared for a minute, but I reminded myself that now was the time…and if I ever wanted to be jungle-swinging Jane, this was the day.

Deep breath…whoooooosh. I sailed through the jungle.

Ok, ok…so maybe sailed is the wrong word. :) Gotta be honest that my awesome vine-swing was not exactly like it is in the movies.

Definitely still a dream come true, but it wasn’t quite so dramatic. :)

My point?

Is that sometimes dreams take a deep breath and bravery, but they can turn into something truly incredible.

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I’ve been reading (and re-reading parts of) a fantastic book that I think maybe some of you have heard me talk about. ๐Ÿ˜‰

It’s pretty much amazing.

And as I’ve been chewing on the first part of the book (no, not literally…though I may have chewed off a few fingernails!) I’ve realized something.

When it comes to dreams and saying them aloud, I’ve been safe.

Really.

Maybe it’s because I am an ENFP through and through…very much a talker, processor, people-lover, sky-high dreamer, and I thrive on it all.

So when I shared my dream for the first time, it didn’t scare me, at least too much.

The prospect of writing a book, in general, doesn’t scare me because I’m not afraid of words and stories.

Don’t get me wrong, there will definitely be butterflies that will most likely be doing backflips off of my stomach lining when (and if) my book is published, but this kind of dreaming makes me want to jump up and down and do cartwheels.

At least right now. :)

All that to say, for me, there is safety with words.

God has given me this dream, and I know it’s for me…and because He gives good things to His children, I know He’s got this. And I can’t wait for His plan to unfold.

However…ya had to know there would be more, right?!

What do I want to see more of in my life?

Deep Breaths.

Bravery.

Leaping out of my comfort zone with my arms outstretched, ready to embrace whatever He has for me.

Last week a Dream Team sister and I were exchanging facebook messages, and I let something slip. Sort of…I really did want her to know. :)

My other dream.

There is another one…that long-term one that really seems out of reach right now.

For a long time I wanted to keep it hidden, preferrably behind a door with twelve locks, but that’s not being brave, now, is it? ๐Ÿ˜‰ย 

I want more bravery…more courage…to let go, and trust completely that my Father has all of these dreams in His hands and that He’s going to make them beautiful.

And not only the bravery to dream them but the heart to accept His answer, whatever it is.

So we’ve come to the part of the show…ahem, post…where I take a deep breath.

Deep breath…

Deep breath…

Deep breath…

and tell you another deep desire that has been rooted in my heart for quite some time.

There’s a pretty fantastic online space out there…maybe you’ve heard of it? ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’d love to be one of their regular writers.

Big exhale.

Father, you are the Giver of all dreams…and I trust You with this one, too.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Friends, we are linking up! Every Tuesday at amazing, Holley Gerth’s place. Click on the button below and join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: A Letter to My Dreaming Sisters

To my dear, sweet, beautiful, inspiring, God-Sized dreaming sisters,

Do you know how much you have added to my life in the last few months?

When I saw the topic for this week, I almost didn’t feel like I was in the place to do the encouraging because you, my friends, have been that encouragement for me in the past months.

And it has been a true joy to know you and love you and cheer for YOU as you go for your dreams, too! So, thank you.

I’m a mushy-gush when it comes to friends…just putting that out there now. :) I value relationships and am so blessed by each of you. I just love you all and the way you inspire me through your stories, through the way you courageously dream SO BIG, through the way you live your lives in obedience and surrender, even when it’s hard...and it usually is.

Keeping up with a b-gillion new friends can be a challenge. (Amen, yeah?) ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I try to read as many of your stories as I can. And you know what?

Every. Single. One. Is worth sharing.

Your dreams matter, your voice is important. We need you, and you have purpose.

For we are Godโ€™s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

I love, love, LOVE how God brought together this group of dreamers…and how we’ve been able to love on each other and pour on encouragement and blessings, despite the fact that most of us have never met face-to-face.

Just heart-to-heart…and maybe that’s even better. (Though I definitely can’t wait to meet you!)

And as each of you go for your dreams and walk (or skip or full-on sprint…however it is that you travel) this journey, I want you to know…

You can do it! {You need to insert some hand holding from me, jumping up and down, and squealing. Because if we were meeting (in)RL, this is how I’d cheer for you. :)} I believe in you, I pray for you, and I am so excited to watch God work in each of your hearts and lives! If God places the dream in your heart, He’s going to give exactly what you need for it to happen.

AND

You are His! Even more important, you are loved by Him…bought with a price, (not a cheap one, either) valued, and honored in His sight. That’s an amazing Truth I think we, all too often, forget.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a (NIV)

There are going to be those days of discouragement, and when you have them, remember these Truths.

I am blessed beyond anything to walk this road with each of you, and you will now, and always, hold a place in my heart. Philippians 1:7.

Love,
Mel

P.S. I’ve been dying to share this video with you all. Though it’s definitely on the silly side, it always leaves me smiling and dreaming a little more! Feel free to crank up the volume and dance around…that’s what we do in our house! ๐Ÿ˜‰

We’re linkin’ up every Tuesday! Today, you are sure to be blessed by reading the letters that some amazing dreamers have written to each other. Click on the link below and hop over to say hi!

God-Sized Dreams

And don’t forget that Holley Gerth‘s new book, You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You is now available! You can find it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Dayspring, or your local Christian bookstore. I hope you’ll take the time to check it out…Holley’s words and her heart will bless you!

Sig

Monday Talk

Hi friends…happy Monday!

The day of the week that I used to not love, but gotta be honest…it’s growing on me. But that could also be because coffee tends to make any day look a little better.

๐Ÿ˜‰

I am incredibly blessed.

For so many reasons, but in the past few days, it has been almost overwhelming (but the good kind of that) to see how God is speaking Truth into my life.

Amazing concept that if I will be still and listen, I might actually hear! ๐Ÿ˜‰

It humbles and amazes me that He knows this heart…the one that can beat with a hundred different emotions at once, and He can still decipher those and know exactly what I need.

…hurt=peace

...confusion=assurance

…doubt=Truth

…loneliness=enough

emptiness=encouragement

Just a few of the ways He has met me since Thursday. You know, that day when I truly vowed to find bloggy-balance. (Hee hee…do you think they would coin that term and give me credit?!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

And for those of you who read that post, I thought you might be interested to know that God brought up that verse Saturday AND Sunday, in separate contexts from different people.

He speaks. Loudly…and it’s amazing what happens when we turn off the noise.ย 

So on Friday’s I participate in Lisa-Jo‘s Five-Minute Friday. It’s become sort of a tradition for me in ending my week, one that I truly love. It’s also given me the chance to connect with some beautiful, amazing friends out there who heart-write, just like I do. :)

Last week, as I mentioned in my post, her topic scared the begeebies out of me. I may or may not have mentioned wanting to run away from the computer?! ๐Ÿ˜‰

And then, this past Friday’s word did the same thing to me.

I wrestled with those topics on the days I wrote of them and the days following.

And then I realized that half of that was the fact that He’s stretching me…growing me. He tends to do that, I guess, when we grow tired of complacency and desire to, instead, be what He’s called us to be.

Thanks to my (mostly) non-TV Lent, too, I’ve been doing a lot more reading.

I’ve just started Angie Smith’s book, Mended: Pieces of a Life Made Whole. Angie speaks such truth in a way that anyone can relate to…and I am (intentionally) slowly soaking in each sentence. I have been somewhat guarded with the topic of this book, but within the first few sentences, I knew that God had brought a group of women (and the study they are doing on this particular book) into my life for a reason. Will you pray I will find the courage to connect with them this week? :)

My Bible study at church is also starting a new book. I’m looking forward to going through it in-real-life with some of the sweetest friends ever and praying that God will show me Truth…and with this particular topic, I’m expecting some of that Truth to be tough. I’m praying He’ll keep my heart open.

And I’ve been reading through Holley Gerth’s book, You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You.

Friends, just WOW…the good kind. So Holley has the gift of writing to begin with, but Truth and beauty just ooze from her grace-filled words. It’s a book that is hard to put down because I just can’t wait for what she’s going to say next, but once again, I am intentionally soaking in the words and praying God will use them in the journey to be more like His Son.

Oh, and guess what?!

Her book officially releases on Friday, and I’m giving away a copy. :)

So, a hint for y’all…stop back by here on Wednesday or Thursday to enter for a chance to win the book and some other fun stuff. Chocolate may or may not be included. And by may-or-may-not, I mean most definitely. Just in case you weren’t sure. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Hope you all had a fantastic Monday. :)

Sig

More of the Still

It has been one of those seasons…over and over, there have been reminders from Him.

Sometimes quiet whispers, sometimes not-so-quiet, and a few in-my-face. ๐Ÿ˜‰

For some reason, God keeps bringing this verse into my life…literally. I can’t even count the number of times it’s come up on the radio, in sermons, in reading…in the past few weeks.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.โ€
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

At first it was a little weird to me that this verse, one that spent most of my life hidden away in the sometimes-elusive Old Testament, has now become such a precious promise to me…but I’m so amazed at all that He’s teaching me through these twelve words.

So it’s probably not news to most of you that I’m an open person…and I’m well aware of the amount of heart-spill that happens on these pages. It may surprise you, though, that I do have a filter, though it’s not always in the proper place while I’m doing that heart-spill. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I have struggled with this for a long time…and, combined with my sheer love of words and talking and sharing, I’ve almost exhausted myself.

And probably shared too much.

So this verse is more than a promise to me from God…it’s also a challenge.

You see, friends, He is fighting for me. He’s fighting for all of us…and He’s fighting for the good.

Always the good.

He just asks that we be stilland that involves so much more than physical stillness, which I believe is an important part of choosing to sit and be, too.

It’s learning to have a quiet heart…one that can be silent enough that when He speaks…I can actually listen. I have to admit that I’m not so good at that. Some people are internal processors, and I am anything but…I always feel the need to talk and share and bounce my thoughts off of those closest to me.

Right now, He’s asking one thing of this heart…

To be still.

And what He’s asking of me means a lot of things.

Rest. (I need to stop my literal burning of the midnight oil. My new goal is in bed by 11, up at 6:30. Yes, seven-ish hours. Ambitious, I know…honestly I’ll be happy with seven good hours, but that extra 30 minutes would sure be nice.) ๐Ÿ˜‰

Quiet. I have got to learn the art of thought before words, of consideration before expressing. It’s not my strength, and I think I have gotten better, but there’s room for improvement. :)

Less Words. This place is going to be quieter for a few weeks. I have to admit to you that it just about kills me to only visit here a few times a week…as in three, maybe four. (No more.) Tuesdays, Fridays, and another day in there. And it’s not permanent…but for a season, I need to step back.

Not walk away…just distance myself a bit. For lots of reasons.

For one thing, my rough draft is getting so close…and while I don’t want to force the words out, it does feel as if it’s coming more easily, and I’m SO excited to see this dream continue to grow.

More importantly, my daughter is growing up WAY. TOO. FAST. She is at the most amazing age…and we are truly having the best days together. I want to soak up each and every one completely. :)

As I’ve gotten busier during the past two months, I’ve noticed a decrease in the time I spend encouraging others. I want to intentionally make time for coffee or a chat, for writing a note or having a text conversation, and even for prayer. Relationships are huge part of my life.

Which brings me to my hubby. Since beginning his new job, it feels like we see much less of each other…and I want to be able to give him quality time together…not time that is spent distracted by what I feel needs to be written.

I also want to really focus on filling at this point.

As a writer, I often feel like I spend so much time pouring…and it’s time to fill up.

I’m blessed. Through connections and some amazing women in my life, both in-real-life and online, I’m part of two different studies and have three incredible books to read, books that are speaking Truth to me in ways that are so needed and such blessings.

I love how He knows and meets me exactly where I need to be met…without me even asking.

So please be patient with me for the next few weeks, friends. There won’t be new thoughts every day…though I will still be here at least a few times a week…but I’m not going to push it. Just take the opportunity if it’s there and I can. :)

I want you to know that you truly bless me just by being here, reading my words, and allowing me to share part of my heart with you.

Please pray that during this time of stillness I will really learn to be still.

Thanks so much…love you all!

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Mending

The most dangerous word for a God-sized dream is โ€œsomeday.โ€ How can you start implementing your God-sized dream {even in a small way} right where you are?

I wrestled with this question for several days.

And then, the other night, I cried to my husband.

The tears came after we’d had a little spat…the kind that should have normally never even been an issue. The kind that really wasn’t an issue…it was just a buildup of too many feelings…that were released because I forgot to rinse out the blender after I made my protein shake. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (Can anyone relate here?!)

And in expressing those extremely worked-up, tear-streaked, emotions, I started talking to him. Really talking.

About how my past still hurts and haunts me.

About how, each time I return to my hometown for a visit, which I did last week, I leave feeling more battered and scarred.

About how I need to quit letting the past define the woman God wants me to be. Because, in some ways, it’s keeping me from becoming her.

The truth is that if I let who I was be who I am nowI will never move on. Yes, I grew up feeling as if I never had a place to belong. Yes, my parents divorced when I was sixteen, causing emotional heartbreak that only God has been able to even begin to heal.

And while the past might hurt, it is never wrong to keep moving forward, talking about it when it’s necessary, because sometimes it is, and choosing to learn and grow from the pain instead of sitting and letting it continue to wound me.

When I think of Indonesia, it seems most natural to write about the good…the things that brightly painted my days and filled my heart to the point of overflow.

But if my goal is to be honest and real, then I have to face some ugly moments…the times when God chipped at me and dragged led me, sometimes kicking and screaming, through places I didn’t want to go. Because He wanted to bring Himself the glory, as it should have always been.

Writing this book has been a lesson in dealing with the past.

Yes, revisiting things that make my heart sing with complete JOY because of what He did and how He moved in such an imperfect life.

But it also means opening up those places I would rather leave locked behind a heavy, unmovable door…the places He still did some amazing things, but the places where my flaws and inadequacies were put on display for all to see.

So what I can I do now?

The writing part isn’t hard.

What I have to do now is be willing to go to those places. And while they may hurt, I need to trust and KNOW that no pain is ever wasted…and that His healing will be even greater, far surpassing what I can even imagine.

It is a complete God-thing, too, that I came across an (in)courage community that seems to be a perfect fit for this season. One of my dear God-Sized Dream Team sisters is helping lead a study on this book…and while I’m finding myself a bit guarded right now, I really am looking forward to what God will show me.

I am choosing to believe, with everything in me, that God can and will mend a heart that is still cracked, one that still sometimes-hurts, one that has never been able to fully let go of the past.

My prayer is that He will give me the grace and strength to do just that…because I really can’t wait to watch what He will do.

Because of the Lordโ€™s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Every Tuesday we’re linking up here! Click the button below to read how God is molding and shaping the lives of some amazing women who are choosing to dream BIG while following Him in obedience. We’d love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

How Quiet It Is…

It’s a quiet night.

Really quiet.

I’m sitting in our family room, snuggled under my favorite blanket, pounding on the laptop keys…and the only sound I’m hearing is the keys.

I am such a noise girl. I thrive best when surrounded by it; I often intentionally create it; heck, I even sleep better when there’s some. :)

And most nights when there’s writing happening, that writing coexists with noise, and we’re not talking about the toddler kind. I can’t tell you how often I’ll flip on the TV or put a in a DVD just to fill what I term as empty space. I am always convinced that this helps me be more productive.

But guess what?

In thinking about what to give up for Lent, I landed on two options. Coffee. Or TV.

Iย  could have chosen coffee, but if we’re being real, I am a much more pleasant person to be around when I’ve had my six cups of coffee. (Kidding. That was a joke…I promise.) I was truly thinking of others…and maybe a teeny-tiny bit about my love for this beverage. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Maybe it sounds like a cop-out, but I chose TV. (And my hubby is enthusiastically(?) going along for the ride with me.) We do have one amendment to it…we’re allowed to watch movies on weekend nights.

We began the non-watching yesterday, and I barely noticed it. (By the way, Maelie is not participating. It isn’t as if my daughter watches hours a day, but with a non-napping sweetheart of a two year-old, mama needs a bit of down time.)

However, last night I went to work out, and immediately realized I couldn’t flip Netflix on and find something to occupy my brain while I crunched and planked and burpeed (that word just seems wrong) and squatted (even more wrong). ๐Ÿ˜‰ I had to settle for some music instead.

You know what? It wasn’t bad. And I might argue that singing along burns a few extra calories. ๐Ÿ˜‰

But here I sit, tonight, heading to the rough draft for an hour or so after this, and I’m more-than-well aware that the familiar sounds of Little House will not be the soundtrack to my writing moments for quite awhile.

It’s a new kind of focus, a reminder that sometimes He just asks me to be Still.

To throw away the noise and rest in Him…in His goodness, in His grace, in His love.

Thank you, God, for quiet…for still. Please teach me to thrive in it.

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Less…

Hi, my name is Mel.

And I write. Like, a lot.

I pour out my feelings in this space not-quite-but-mostly every day, and my huge dream is to finish writing and publish a book of my Indo-stories.

I’m also mommy to the most amazingly wonderful and talkative little girl. (Think as chatty as her mama. ;))

So, in essence, there are an extra-lot of words all over my days. :)

When Holley shared with us what she’d like us to think about and apply this week, I almost laughed at my initial response.

In fact, most likely I did. (Laugh at myself, not my sweet friend. ;))

Choose what you will decrease in your life so that your God-sized dream can increase.

Friends, I almost think you might laugh, too.

Because, though the dream of writing a book is inching closer and closer to reality, what I chose to decrease?

Writing.

I know it sounds like an almost-too-easy answer.

But it makes sense to me…and maybe some of you can relate, too.

I am first and foremost a follower of my Father. Then comes wife, mommy, friend. All things that will remain, no matter where life takes me, priorities.

And after that, a mix of writer-runner-creator-singer/musician…things that fuel my passion for life.

But mixed up in the writing hat is the fact that I not only am somewhat-furiously writing a book, I’m also trying to blog 5-6 times a week.

Writing is how I process the extraordinary and the everyday…whether or not I have anything important to say. (I rhymed…love. That quote totally belongs on Pinterest.) :)

But last week I had a moment.

On Wednesday, I hit a social-media-overload wall fueled by too much blog reading and commenting, and too many status updates, tweets, and dessert-pins. Can’t blame a girl for loving dessert, though. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I actually buried my head in my hands and then closed my laptop for several hours and just sat on the floor and played with my daughter, forbidding myself from opening that computer. And as Mae and I put puzzles together and rolled out play-doh, took her princesses on a field trip to the Little People farm, and giggled at life in general…I thought

about how I’ve got to find some kind of balance with writing…to write with purpose and not because I feel like I have to.

I started by somewhat-unplugging for the weekend. (No blogging or commenting Saturday and Sunday and keeping other forms of social media to a minimum.) It helped that we were out of town, but it was a good time to consider direction.

I love this space and plan to continue here. But I also need to learn to give myself permission to miss a day or two (or four) in a row without feeling as though I’ve failed somehow. My new goal is no more than five days a week but at least three. (And if I don’t do three…extending lots of grace to myself. ;))

I also need more focused, spaced-out, intentional book-writing time. (I can’t write with the same intensity and productivity on consecutive days.) I typically take Wednesday nights from 6-10 for that, but guess what? Ash Wednesday is tomorrow. So I’ll need to find another time during Lent where I can sit, uninterrupted, and just let the words spill. My goal is to find two of those times each week…spaced out enough that I don’t feel like I’m forcing the words. (And if one or both of those don’t happen in a week…more grace.)

It’s not a race…it’s obedience. He’s got the timing figured out already…I just need to daily walk out what He’s called me to do.

To read more amazing things God is teaching a group of dreamers, click on the link below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love to have you join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Mean Girls

It’s Tuesday…Dreaming Day.

Actually, every day is full of dreams for me ;), but today…grab a cup of coffee and let’s have a chat.

Last week, my friend Holley asked the ladies on the God-Sized Dream Team to do something really scary. Like, so scary, I still cringe.

She asked us to post a photo of ourselves during an awkward phase.

Oh, there were sweaty, shaky hands and almost-puke-inducing butterflies as I selected this photo, checked fifty times to make sure I was only posting it to the private Dream Team facebook page, and then hit the share button.

Awkward, almost-12-year-old Mel.

It’s not as if I think I was the ugliest person on the planet…though that perm…really?! Why did we ever think that was a remotely acceptable style? ๐Ÿ˜‰

But that picture reminds me of things. People. Words…often unkind ones. Memories I can’t shake of a heart-bleeding time in my life.

Those have left deep wounds that are still not fully healed.

I was awkward, somewhat of an outcast…always questioning belonging and relationship. Not the happiest place for a preteen to be. And, sadly, it never really got better until I moved on from that little Iowa town.

There were just some mean girls…I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now. And I really don’t want to go there today…we all know about mean girls.

But when I saw today’s writing topic,

Whatโ€™s one fear youโ€™ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And whatโ€™s the truth thatโ€™s bigger than that fear?

Oh, I tried. Believe me, friends, I tried…to find one fear that was bigger, one that scared me more, yet I could somehow bear to face a little easier in this vulnerable, online place of heart-spilling.

But I just couldn’t.

Because, more than anything, I am afraid of mean girls.

I fear what I feared in middle school…in a different, yet strangely similar, way.

I fear that the things I write from my heart that mean so much to me will be ridiculed and made fun of, purposely stomped on and torn apart. I fear that the dream God has placed in my heart will shatter to bits under the weight of these things.

Oh, how these thoughts and emotions could potentially destroy me if I let them. And I can’t let them.

I know that these fears and insecurities I have in me won’t just disappear overnight. That’s not the way we learn trust and acceptance and identity.

But what I know? Is that my God is bigger than them.

Way bigger.

And in facing this fear of rejection, I simply need to rely on His promises to me and trust them as Truth…because they are.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:7-8

There are probably a thousand other verses I could share…My Father is truly the One Who can heal and overcome, build us back up when we’ve been torn down…and remind us of where true belonging and identity are found.

Perhaps the experiences I’ve had have also reminded me of grace and the choice I have to extend it each day to those around me. I don’t always know what they face; I don’t know what goes on in their hearts. But I can choose to love and accept, to be kind and embrace others as who God has created them to be.

And if you’d like to read some amazing stories of how God is at work in making big dreams happen for some amazing women, click on the button below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Afraid

Today Iโ€™m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Todayโ€™s Topic: Afraid

Really? Really? Do we have to talk about fear today of all days?

Gotta admit that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the FMF topic for today.

Being the emotional worrier that I am, I very much think about the what if’s of life a little too frequently. Before I make a decision…or even get to the point where I might be ready to make a decision…a thousand of these must be considered.

This mama heart…the one that spends her days with the most wonderful little toddler girlie…has a very afraid heart when it comes to the thought of more kids. Oh, it’s been on our minds and in our hearts for a while, for those of you who have wondered.

Gotta be honest, though, and admit how scary that is for me. Babies don’t come easily for me and T. Pregnancy struggles and loss before Maelie were hard enough. I can’t imagine them after.

This fear…this time of truly being afraid…has ruled so much of where my heart is when it comes to more.

Part of me wants to never again subject myself to the pain of loss, while the other part feels a loss for the thought of never trying to have more.

I’m afraid…I am. In some ways, it’s very much like being afraid of the dark…not knowing what ‘s out there. Letting my mind wonder…and not allowing my heart to trust. And in this kind of dark, my Father whispers. I like His whispers because they’re loud and clear. Put Your trust in Me. You don’t need to be afraid.

And so…we trust. Pray for us?

When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3 (NIV)

Five Minute Friday

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Pushing Past Doubt

When I went I away to college, I was barely 18. (Read: just weeks into adulthood.)

There were a lot of rules going on at my small, Baptist college (another day, maybe ;)) but the one that nearly destroyed my college career was the you-can-only-miss-three-weeks-of-classes-per-semester, any-more-and-you-fail rule. No exceptions.

At face value, this rule didn’t seem like much. Who plans on missing that much school?

What I didn’t factor into the equation was the possibility of sickness.

Two weeks into the semester, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. I missed my three weeks, but I was adamant that I would not fail my classes and headed back to school even though I probably shouldn’t have just yet.

It was a tall order to fill…if I missed any one class another time, I would automatically fail it. (Let me just point out here that at a college with 7 a.m. classes, oversleeping was an entirely realistic possibility. Especially for a girl who loves her sleep. :))

I went back determined…and I did ok for a couple weeks until I heard two girls talking about me. (They have no idea, to this day, that I heard their conversation.)

She’s never going to be able to do it. She’ll give up and go home.

At the time, the words sliced like a knife. I couldn’t believe that at a Bible college, people were being anything less than supportive. (A bit naive, perhaps? ;))

I found myself tucked into a corner in my dorm room that night, knees huddled to my chest, crying my eyes out…So. Ready. To. Just. Quit. I had started to believe what those girls had said was true…that I could never do it. That I should just give up.

I’m not sure at the time if it was more because I wanted to prove those girls wrong (which I totally did…YAY me!) or if I wanted to obey God. I knew He wanted me to be a teacher, something I had dreamed of for years, and a failed semester with all of that wasted money would only put that dream even further out of reach.

And so I stayed, wading through life a day at a time, praying I could somehow do it all. I didn’t come out of that semester with straight A’s, but I did make it. :)

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And now here I am. Still Mel.

A little wiser and maybe-a-little older. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Wife, mommy, friend, blog-writer, hopefully, soon-to-be, published-author.

There are those days when the enemy whispers discouragement and frustration into my already-doubting heart. The sad thing is, sometimes he uses people to do it.

I had a situation recently where someone said something that literally about destroyed me…they had a hard time believing I’d follow through.

The logical part of me gets that…I do, I really do.

I’m extremely fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I get passionate about something and dive ALL-IN, sure that the entire world around me can’t wait to join in the fun. :)

But the emotional, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve side needed to get the tears out first.

And after I’d cried about it for probably-too-long, I talked to God. I even admitted to Him that sometimes I have a hard time following through. As if He needed me to tell Him that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

But He was so Good, bringing me back to this scene from college, one that I had almost let ruin me and my future, because I’d allowed a lie to creep into my heart and take root.

The lie that said I couldn’t do it. Just because someone else didn’t think I could.

We dreamers…that’s including any of YOU who have ever had a dream…are in a vulnerable place. It takes courage and confidence and strength to put those dreams out there for the world to see. It takes even more of the above to push forward and follow those dreams with a curious audience watching. It puts us in a place where it’s very possible there will be word-throwing and ability-bashing.

And sometimes failure.

We just have to keep going. Trusting. Following what He’s called us to do.

I’m not going to tell you all that I’ve completely forgotten those words that were said to me. I’m extremely thankful that there’s been resolution, and I’m holding nothing against that person. Hugs have been exchanged, all is good. :)

But I’d be willing to bet that it’s not the last time this kind of discouragement is going to creep in, but rising above it and pushing forward is what my Father wants me to do.

Remembering that it isn’t about proving someone wrong…it’s about following what I’m called to do.

My dear friends, dreamers…follow your calling. Don’t let people get you down. Do what you know you need to do, and never forget that

The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
1 Thess. 5:24 (NIV)

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God-Sized Dreams

Sig