remembering

God-Sized Dreams: Looking Back at a Year

December 31, 2013 by Mel · 22 Comments

I’ve gotta admit something to you, my sweet and faithful readers.

I have procrastinated this post up and down and all around. I have known for weeks…weeks…that it needed to be written. I’ve had days in those weeks when I could have easily taken an hour, gotten comfy on the couch under my awesome sherpa blanket, and pounded out the words you are about to read.

At least, I hope you are about to read them. (I still have to actually WRITE them. Ahem.)

😉

It isn’t that I don’t want to…it’s because when I look back at this year, I almost don’t know where to start.

Except at the very beginning, so here goes. Please stick with me? Thanks a bunch.

It really began in 2012, on a cold (and early!) November morning when I was sitting at the table, eyes a bit glazed over, hand clutching my first cup of coffee, making my bloggy rounds. (The list was a lot shorter then.)

I found myself at (in)courage, really the site where it all began for me. I love that sweet space so much and drop by several times a week for the wisdom, laughter, and love these precious sisters share with their readers. That particular morning, I found myself clicking around more than usual, and I landed on a post written by my sweet and now-dear friend, Holley Gerth.

An invitation, really.

She was putting together a God-Sized Dream Team…and would I like to be part of it?

Of course I would!

She was accepting 99 women, and oh…Oh. How. My. Hopes. Flew. Way. Up. Beyond. The. Clouds.

I quickly filled out the application, sharing that my dream was to publish my book.

And when I sent in that application, that’s what I thought. That the heart of my dream was to write a book. Publish it. Maybe be famous, too.

A few weeks later, I received the e-mail that sent me on a little happy dance across my living room. (I really do happy dance. Often. You should try it sometime.) 😉 I’m thrilled to let you know that you’ve been chosen as part of the God-Sized Dream Team!

And what followed in those six months, which turned into a year and now more than a year…

There were gifts like intentional time to find my strengths and pray through how God can use them. (For a non-organized person like myself, this was a good thing. My focus often needs to be narrowed down.) I also learned the importance of carving out that time to pursue book-writing, and I faithfully visited Starbucks (SUCH a chore ;)) weekly to pound out as many words as possible on the rough draft.

In just a few months, I had completed my rough draft and handed it to my first friend.

Dream definitely on its way to being realized.

Yes?

Or, maybe…the dreams were just starting to grow.

Over the course of a year, a little piece at a time, He began to show me that it wasn’t just one dream. While there’s definitely a book in there (and oh, how I can’t wait to share it with all of you!!!) there’s so much more.

SO much more.

Dreams like being the best possible wife and mommy…a dream that I have to daily place in His hands and pray through.

Dreams like someday working on a medical ship as a family. (Yeah, this one’s BIG.)

Dreams like traveling to Uganda to help clean the jiggers from the feet of little children and give them shoes. Shoes that will save their lives…and tell them about the Jesus who saved them, too.

Even dreams that I didn’t know were in my heart…You see, I’d been so used to writing…just writing. Not really connecting, just sharing words and rarely going beyond my little online space.

And then, somehow, God took a group of 99 women and built a family. These women? They’re my sisters. I’ve had the privilege to hug many of them in real life…but all of our hearts are connected.

photo credit: Melissa Aldrich

And then, He took a few of us, and we formed a smaller Mastermind group…and from that, the dream of a brave sister became a new site for dreamers, one that launched yesterday.

And my dream of being a contributing writer came true. The one I’d been so afraid to speak aloud.

I feel humbled, blessed, and honored to even be part of it.

So when I look back at this year of dreaming God-Sized Dreams???

I see blessings…almost too many to even count.

A finished rough draft. Even a meeting with an agent. (I still haven’t written about that, have I?!) 😉

Hugs and heart spills with friends…those in real life and those online. The gift of community is precious.

Prayer times and Google Hangouts.

Voxer and the laughter, love, and sometimes-embarrassment it has brought to my days.

Allowing my heart to bleed even more for what God is doing all over the world.

Learning to take His hand each day and trust Him with my dreams.

And the reminder that sometimes dreams come in the everyday, extraordinary…like this. And there’s nothing small about these kind of dreams, either.

So how do I wrap up a year?

I don’t.

This journey isn’t over. In fact, I’ll be sharing tomorrow what’s next…or, at least, what I think is next.

This year…oh, He’s shown me just how much MORE He can do…beyond what I could have ever hoped or dreamed. He’s SO Good.

And I am so, so thankful. Praise Him for all of it.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

And today, friends?

We’re linking up at the new God-Sized Dreams website! I hope you’ll stop by, read the stories of other dreamers, and even share yours, too! And thanks to each of you for sharing your lives and being a part of mine. You bless me more than you will ever know.

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, community, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, remembering, where I am, writing

Even in the Small Things: A Guest Post

November 25, 2013 by Mel · 2 Comments

I remember the day so clearly, and it wasn’t one of those warm, fuzzy, happy-memory kind of days.

Christmas Eve, 2005. A Saturday.

And we were on the opposite side of the world from our family and friends.

Life and a two-year commitment in Indonesia…but, really, it was all God…had taken us, geographically, about as far from “home” as we could get.

To say that I was in a bad mood that day may be an understatement…and it’s pretty accurate to say that my husband was there, too.

All day long we spatted back and forth. With last-minute shopping and gift wrapping, Christmas music and cookie baking, giving a gift to our house helper, and anticipating the Christmas Eve service filling those hours, it should have been a day full of the joy of the season.

Instead, it was a day of spouting frustrations and complaining.

It seemed, that day, there was a continual focus on all we were missing…from family get-togethers and friends and our church in Minnesota, to really good eggnog, hot chocolate, and snow.

And maybe that makes sense somewhat…it doesn’t mean it’s right, but it makes sense. The holidays can be hard.

They’re hard for missionaries and people who are away from loved ones. They are painful for those who have experienced loss and have empty hearts. They can be lonely and full of reminders of what was.

Probably each of us could place ourselves in one of those categories if we want to.

Sadly, I don’t think it crossed our minds that day to give thanks for the many blessings that surrounded us…

You can go here to read the rest this post.

Friends, today I’m thrilled to be guest posting at my sweet friend, Kim’s space, Winsome Woman. I’ve known Kim through the God Sized Dream Team over the last year, and God even worked things out for us to be Allume roommates for one night. As a bonus, we even got to have coffee at my favorite ever (so far!) coffee shop the next morning. She is sweet, kind, and gracious, and I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share on her blog today!

Filed Under: blessings, community, friends, guest posts, Indonesia, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Behind the Scenes: What I Want Her to Know

November 19, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

Sometimes I think back to this girl…the one who, in this picture, is so close in age to my daughter today.

The girl you see here isn’t really so different from the one who dances around my feet each day.

She loved dolls.

She was a bit on the crazy…ahem, adventurous…side. (Gee, I wonder where Mae gets it?) 😉

She looked forward to playing with her friends, going swimming, just enjoying life. Mae does that last one really, really well.

Sometimes it seems like two seconds since I was three (maybe four…not quite sure when this pic was taken) and I wonder where time went. How I went from that to this in a lifetime that passed in about three blinks.

I was thinking this morning as I was in the shower (yes, I do my best thinking in the shower ;)) that there’s so much I want to tell her. So much I want her to know to prevent heartbreak and disappointment. And I wonder often what I need to tell my daughter so that her life will be the happy of sunshine and daisies all the time.

False reality, I know…or, maybe, that’s just a momma’s heart.

Sweet Mae, the days are going to fly. So quickly.

There are going to be the ones when nothing will get you down, nothing will make you cry, and everything will make you smile and probably turn somersaults because that’s just wonderful you.

There will also be those days when you run to me, arms outstretched, ready for that hug that will hold you tight and shelter you from whatever is breaking your heart. I’ll be there.

And I know there will be those days, too, when you don’t want that hug but want to navigate the world on your own instead, exploring those hidden nooks and corners, searching for whatever it is He has for you. And that’s ok. It’s good. It’s right.

I just pray that you’ll walk with your hand in His no matter where He takes you.

I love you so, so much, my sweet girl. And I wish I’d saved that dress for you, too.

(But that’s another story…maybe for next week.)

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Tree

November 14, 2013 by Mel · 40 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Tree

We’ve lived in the blue house on Wisconsin and Charles for three years. And almost a half.

It’s home…and we love it here.

One of my favorite things about our lot is the side yard and the big oak trees there. I’m not kidding when I tell you they tower over the entire yard. (You can see one in this pic…the other is closer to the street.)

And it may sound a little silly, but when I think of the time we’ve spent here already and the memories we’ve made, some of my favorite ones actually involve those trees. Our first October back in the States, we couldn’t get enough of the falling leaves and were total kids one late Wednesday afternoon, even taking our four month old girl outside for some leaf-playing fun.

Still one of my favorite memories…and one of my favorite photos of the two of us.

Then there was the sweet 4th of July spent reading books in the shade and watching our little girl melt our hearts yet another time that day. We still smile over this one.

And we continue to make more memories…with swing sets and slides and snow-princess building and hide and seek. With frisbee throwing and chasing each other and being a family of three (plus two dogs) in our little place.

Under those trees.

Those trees.

Reminders of how very, very blessed we are.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, community, family, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am

Behind the Scenes: Surfing in Iowa

November 12, 2013 by Mel · 18 Comments

I’m a surfer.

I call myself that as I currently sit in the place I call home…the freezing burbs of Chicago. (It snowed yesterday. I’m still not over it.)

But it’s true. I actually surf.

How it happened is kind of funny…it was almost a last-minute, last-day-in-Bali, gotta-do-this-now-or-I’m-never-gonna thing…and after a few major wipeouts, I completely fell in love with all things surfing. This pic is actually from ’07 and is one of my first rides.

I’m well aware of how awesome I look. 😉

After this first ride, anytime we were anywhere near a beach, I would run down, rent a board, and take on the waves.

And it’s probably safe to say that I miss it now. A lot, some days. I haven’t had the chance to go since before I was pregnant with Maelie, though a nice surf instructor at Kuta Beach in Bali did offer me a discounted rate on board rental when I was six months pregnant, with a looks-like-nine-months, belly.

Sigh.

I have to admit that would have been quite the sight…IF I’d been able to actually stand up.

This past weekend, Tobin, Mae and I took an insanely quick, 36-hour trip to Iowa to see his family. We had some good times, more than enough more-than-good food, and managed to pull off surprising his older brother for his 40th birthday. It was fun, it was crazy at times with 22 people all in one house, and Mae soaked up the time with her twelve cousins. (On the way home: I miss my cousins! With wailing.)

On Saturday afternoon, the weather was so beautiful that we headed to a nearby playground so the kids could run off some (or more than some) energy.

Friends, I’m not kidding…when I got out of the car and saw this playground, I couldn’t wait to play. It was that good.

One of the first pieces of equipment we saw (and immediately jumped on) was this…to describe it? Basically as close to surfing as you can get in the Midwest and on a playground.

Long, skinny, wobbly, and requiring some good balance to stay on it.

It went up and down and up and down and I almost fell off once but totally saved it and my former-surfer pride. It was fun and a little tricky, and a great chance to bond with my sisters-in-law, all three of them, as the four of us navigated this piece of playground equipment…I’m still not sure what it was called.

But it was fun…and a happy memory from the weekend.

And, it’s probably as close to surfing as I’ll get for awhile.

What do you think? Should we build one in the backyard for Mae? 😉

**************************

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, family, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, travel

Five-Minute Friday: Grace

October 31, 2013 by Mel · 26 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

Today’s prompt: Grace

(thanks, Julie, for this one!)

I spent last weekend with some of the most amazing sisters ever. (To be fair, I don’t have any blood-related sisters, and I always wanted one. Or thirteen. So I like to think that God is just making up for it now with an abundance of them. ;))

I had looked forward to this conference for so long, and there were so many necks I couldn’t wait to hug. So many cups of coffee I wanted to drink while seated at a little table with friends over long, deep conversations.

Some of it happened…as much could be squeezed into an already jam-packed schedule.

And some of it didn’t.

There were some of you, beautiful sisters, who got a quick hello and a hug, and while I know that can convey something, I know how I wanted to find time for so much more.

This week? Well, it’s been a lesson in giving myself grace.

Of accepting that sometimes, no matter how we plan things, they just don’t quite work out like we want them to. And the simple fact that sometimes there’s not enough time.

My Father…He’s been whispering this thing of Grace to me over and over in the last few days. Reminding me that it’s ok.

That community can connect and love even despite distance and lack of sit-down-in-person cups of coffee.

If you and I had a chance to meet last weekend, I am So. Very. Glad. Y’all are beautiful and treasured…and I’m not just saying that.

This community? I never knew the magnitude of its impact until the hugs started happening and the tears started to fall and I could see it all for myself.

And if we didn’t connect in person, pull up a chair and we’ll keep talking, keep loving…through computer screens and twitter and our blogs. And someday soon, I hope we’ll sit down for that coffee at a cute little table in a corner.

Grace.

Grace in what happens, grace in what doesn’t.

So, so blessed by grace.

Love to each of you, whether you are part of my (in)RL community, my online one, or both. I’m so thankful to have you in my life.

Filed Under: blessings, coffee, community, friends, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Behind the Scenes: An Indonesia Moment

October 15, 2013 by Mel · 26 Comments

I let myself go back tonight.

It’s not a place I go often, but I do revisit once in awhile, whether through pictures, video, memories, even reading a random book sent to us by our organization before we even began our journey.

There are times when it’s good for the soul…and just plain good for my heart…to remember.

I know it’s something I’ll never have again.

But I do like to have those moments when Indonesia feels so real again…so close I can almost taste the nasi uduk and gepuk or even the pisang goreng. I can hear the call to prayer, the constant honk of car horns, the little beep of a passing motorbike. I can even smell the not-always-wonderful scents that permeated Jl. Cihampelas during a Saturday drive to CiWalk.

Sometimes I worry that the memories will fade…not just in my heart, but the hearts of others. I think of our sweet pembantu and wonder if she will ever hug my daughter. If we will ever hug her again.

It hurts sometimes.

And tonight, well…I knew I’d go sometime.

I went to the cupboard…and I dug through and found the very last packet of Indonesian coffee, one I’ve literally been saving for a night when I knew I’d want it. (And, clearly, patience was my shining virtue because the expiration date…which I totally ignored…was approximately a year ago. Give or take four months.) 😉

I plopped on the couch…and as I sipped and savored and remembered the many, many mornings when I’d begin a day of teaching 4th grade, coffee mug in one hand, drinking this exact beverage…it was like the memories and moments flooded back into my heart.

It felt like a beautiful, wonderful lifetime ago and at the same time, just a tiny blink spanning then and now, too.

I guess that’s the way it is with memories we hold so deeply…they feel like forever snapshots, ones that we tie into that corner, hoping that our hearts will always be strong enough to hold on.

And as the happy tears fill my eyes…but they only brim, they don’t drip…I give thanks for these moments.

The kind when I can smile and know that it was good.

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Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, coffee, friends, Indonesia, remembering, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: She

September 19, 2013 by Mel · 44 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: She

So I have this rule…

I go with the first thing that pops into my head when I see the prompt for a Five-Minute Friday.

You would think, with a prompt like she that would be a no-brainer.

Beautiful, fun, crazy, spirited, wonderful daughter…yep. There’s endless material to write about there.

However…

That’s not the she I thought of. So we go with it…and I give myself grace.

And forgiveness…right now, I don’t want to write about her.

Because she…she was the meanest person I’ve ever known.

The words that came out of her mouth were awful. The way she kicked my knees during choir and stomped on my pride in front of everyone…it was all just mean. The way she’d intentionally find a way to hurt me…

Sometimes I can’t even think about it.

I often resented even being in the same room as she was…I wanted to escape. And, yet…it was high school. Ya know how they have those laws about kids going to school?

Well, they kind of have to. And so I went, but I made every effort to avoid her.

And I honestly haven’t missed her a day since the last time I saw her sometime in May of 1996.

For years, I was sure that my interactions with her had scarred me for life, had wounded my soul, had made me less of a person than I would have been otherwise.

But I was wrong.

In the strangest way, she made me a better person. I learned from her how not to treat others, how to think before I act, how to make things right if I hurt someone.

The list goes on.

And today…on a random Thursday night…I think about what I might say if I ever saw her again.

Probably, it’s ok. And it’s over.

Because part of me wonders what ever happened to her…and if she was ever sorry.

I hope so.

Filed Under: barefoot, Five Minute Friday, remembering, where I am

Five-Minute Friday: Mercy

September 12, 2013 by Mel · 65 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s prompt: Mercy

Some nights I feel wordless…very wordless.

And tonight is one of them.

His Mercy Overwhelms Me. I know that much. I know how it has changed my life, how it has changed my heart.

I often talk about how thankful I am for the fact that His mercies are new every morning.

That’s because I. Need. Them. and I can’t pretend that I don’t.

I mess up…I have bad days, I say mean things, I do things that don’t honor Him…and I need His Mercy and Forgiveness.

I need those new days.

Recently I had A. Day. with my girl. It was just one of those frustrating ones…the kind when little, three year-old wills take over and don’t quite want to do what their mamas ask them to. Over and over, all day long.

And by the end, well, let’s just say I welcomed bedtime with a little happy dance. 😉

There weren’t a bunch of gushing, I-love-you’s as she cuddled down into her pillow and I closed her door for the night.

But the next morning when I heard her wake up?

I went into her room, and her head popped out from under her blanket, the biggest smile ever on her face.

We snuggled and said our good mornings…and it was a reminder to me, one that was so needed.

New mercies, new compassion, a new day.

Blessed.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, encouragement, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am

Behind the Scenes: About a Friend

August 26, 2013 by Mel · 44 Comments

Sometimes I worry about the words I write…not so much what other people think of them, although that happens sometimes.

I mostly worry about them when I’m writing about someone…because I want my words to give a voice and a true reflection of what that person means to me.

Or, to us.

So today I’m pulling out the tissues…just because I know I’m going to need them…and telling you a story.

One that’s worth telling.

It’s about a friend.

There are a lot of titles that this picture could have.

Mae’s First Day of School.

Maelie and Her Buddy From Across the Street Showing Off Their New Backpacks.

Two Days Before Brenton Left For College.

All of the above…

When we moved here three years ago, God knew what He was doing.

We didn’t.

We didn’t know north from south (I still don’t), left from right (especially when driving), or where to even begin looking for a house in this brand new state. (And, honestly, one I’d never imagined living in.)

Almost by accident, we stumbled on a Craigslist ad for a two-story, blue house in C’ville.

I actually told my husband I wasn’t interested in seeing it.

Thankfully, he insisted we look anyway.

Long story short, we moved in six days later…into a house in a neighborhood and town where we knew not a soul…

But we hoped it would become home, and it did.

And there are so many aspects that have helped make this place home, but today, this is about some special friends.

You see, there’s a family across the street…and it didn’t take long for us to connect with them. (Potentially because we always needed help moving the furniture we were buying? 😉 Kidding, kidding…)

No, we connected with Jonny, Kris, and their son, Brenton, within the first few weeks…and soon they weren’t just our neighbors; they had become our friends.

At the time, Brenton was fifteen and just a cool, high school sophomore. (No sarcasm here…we think he was pretty cool. :)) We’d see him here or there, and he would stop to talk to us sometimes.

He didn’t really connect with Maelie at the beginning, but that’s not a surprise. I don’t know many fifteen year old boys who make it a point to sit down on the floor and try to entertain a baby girl.

But around the time Mae turned one, Brenton started talking to her and playing with her more. One night his family came over for dinner, and she sat on his lap for a long time.

It wasn’t long before she was saying his name.

And a few months later, we had her bedroom windows open, which faced their house. She saw him come home from work and yelled as he was getting out of his car.

Brenton!

To her surprise?

Maelie!

Brenton!

Maelie!

It continued back and forth as he stood on their front porch and she pressed her nose against the screen in her window.

And that’s what continued for the next two years…little moments like that.

He’d come over and see her when she was playing outside.

Once they “shoveled” the sidewalk together.

She pushed him on the swing (really) the day he graduated from high school.

Little moments, nothing huge…but things that made an impact.

It’s no secret that Brenton became someone that Maelie really loves…and someone we love, too.

He was a high school student, busy with homework and friends and music, work and college searches. He didn’t have to take the time for a little girl…and honestly, no one would have blamed him if he didn’t.

But he did.

And he made a difference in her life…and ours, too.

This picture was taken last week, on Mae’s first day of PK3 and two days before Brenton left for college.

The two mamas behind their iPhones were both a little weepy for similar, but at the same time different, reasons…because seasons change.

Just like it was time for Mae to begin school (even if it’s just a few hours a week), it was time for Brenton to go off to college.

We said goodbye to him the next day, and the day after that, he left.

Mae is little and she doesn’t understand goodbyes yet…but I know she will miss him.

In fact, just a week ago, she looked at me. Mommy? Brenton’s my hero. And I think there’s some truth to that statement that she might not understand just yet.

Today I tear up when I look at this picture, but I know it’s one we’ll keep forever.

Thank you, Brenton, for taking the time to be part of Maelie’s life…it means more to us than you will ever know.

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It’s Tuesday and time for one of my favorite link ups over at my friend, Crystal’s space.

If you’ve got some time today, hop over for the sweet and funny, the silly and sappy, and sometimes the tear-jerky stories that happen behind the camera lens. They’re told by some of my favorite writers and friends…and their words will make your day.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering, where I am

God-Sized Dreams: Looking Back at a Year

Even in the Small Things: A Guest Post

Behind the Scenes: What I Want Her to Know

Five-Minute Friday: Tree

Behind the Scenes: Surfing in Iowa

Five-Minute Friday: Grace

Behind the Scenes: An Indonesia Moment

Five-Minute Friday: She

Five-Minute Friday: Mercy

Behind the Scenes: About a Friend

Mel

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