I know myself well enough to realize that when the blog has been quiet for too long, I just need to write.
Something.
Anything.
Well, not exactly anything…but at least sentences that tell a story or two.
The truth is that the last few weeks have been full of writing for myself…but not for anyone else. I think I intended to share more than I actually did (which would be No.Thing.) but life just got in the way, I guess.
But words felt necessary today…and so here are some. They’re random, but it’s been a random week, so I’m just gonna roll with it.
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My girl finished PK this week, and I honestly have no idea what to even do with it all.
I cried because who doesn’t cry when their sweet kiddo reaches a milestone? Plus, Kindergarten? How is she old enough for this???
And then the two of us went out for frappuccino minis, which really translated to I-needed-to-go-to-Target-for-shampoo; how-convenient-that-Starbucks-is-here-too. That kind of thing, you know?
And we smiled and laughed as we walked through the store, and I thought about how awesome it is to have such an amazing little girl to share my days with. (I just wish those days didn’t fly by quite so quickly.)
A few days ago, it was a gorgeous, sunny day. It was also 46 degrees, according to my iPhone. I didn’t really believe my phone because Mae and I were both outside in tank tops and we weren’t cold AT ALL. And also, my shoulders turned a shade of red that I don’t usually see until that day mid-July when I forget to reapply the sunblock.
Yeah, I got fried in May. IN. MAY.
And also I’m pretty sure the weather app was broken because No. One. Burns. In. 46. Degree. Weather. (Just let me be right here, ok?) š
I am more than ready for warm weather to make an appearance for longer than a few days at a time.
And if that randomness doesn’t scare you off… š
I spent three days eating red meat for every meal this week. (As in, to the point that it was becoming gross.) Before you start thinking that I have weird eating habits, let’s just say I wanted, in the worst way, to get my iron levels up so I could donate blood. Because, yeah, they stink, no matter how much steak I eat. You know it’s bad when I walk into the room and tell them to do the finger prick part before I sit through all the paperwork.
And also, I failed again. (My husband asked me if I was ready to give up yet. Never.)
And after my last few end-of-the-month blog posts…you know, the ones when I share all my favorites? Yeah, I decided I needed to read more books. So I’ve been reading a lot.
I laughed my way through Sophie Hudson’s A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet. I cracked open A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for the second time…I didn’t finish it the first, and I’m actually almost done with it. And then a few days ago, I finally opened Eight Twenty Eight: When Love Didn’t Give Up, and an hour later I looked up, and I was almost on page 100.
So I think it’s safe to say I’m doing just fine in the reading books department. And also, yay for expanding my reading horizons. I feel proud of myself.
And I’m also really looking forward to summer with my girl.Ā
We’ve got a whole summer, friends! It’s been fun to hear her talk about the things she wants to do. Parks, picnics, play dates, swimming, froyo, birthday celebrations…she’s an easy (and fun!) kid to please.
She’s not asking for the moon, though if she did, I’d probably try to find a way. š
So I’m praying that God will give us an extra wonderful few months together…and also that He’ll redeem last summer.
It feels like we’ve lived a lifetime since last July. And, maybe in some ways, we have.
We’ve seen loss and walked grief. We’ve found joy on the other side of it…and days that still hurt and pinch in painful ways.
I suppose it might be how this life looks from here on out.
We’ve found ways to surrender dreams and keep walking with Him. And Trust.
That’s been the hardest part of it.
But in the midst, there’s been so much good. And He has been good.
The other day my girl was picking “all the pretty yellow flowers” in our yard, giving them to me one by one. And I thought about how God has been so good about giving us those pieces of tangible beauty despite the pain of the journey…a verse, a text, a prayer, a flower, a surprise coffee from a friend, sweet time with my hubby and girl, friends who have loved us so well.
We’re really blessed…even if there are days when it’s hard to see purpose.
And I hope this Friday morning finds you counting your blessings, too. Thanks for being here, even when I take huge, bloggy vacations. š