remembering

is serious business, folks.

A good cup of coffee can start a day off perfectly; and a bad one can ruin it.

We don’t want that now, do we?

I could just end this post now by saying you should go here to get your coffee, but even as an employee of that place, there are other good coffee places out there, too. Though I really like Firefly.

500 effects levaquin side

Coffee really became part of my life when I worked at Caribou the year before we went overseas.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

I mean, I drank it in college (what college student doesn’t?!) but it was there that I really learned to appreciate the finer points of pulling the perfect espresso shot, the proper amount

of froth for a latte, and what a true macchiato actually is. (And for the record, folks, it does not involve caramel sauce, though that IS tasty stuff!

;))

In Indonesia, coffee became even more important.

Yes, I drank it every morning…it’s kind of necessary for surviving life as a teacher.

But it also became that thing…when I needed some girl time, we’d all go out for coffee just to talk and laugh.

When Tobin and I went on a date, it almost always included Starbucks. We’d take our cribbage board with us and play a few rounds while sipping our usual…an iced Caramel Macchiato for him, a skim hazelnut latte for me.

When I was having a bad day, I’d get Becky and we’d hop on a bike and go down to Starbucks (or Excelso…mmm, I miss that place!) for some caffeine, some laughs, some tears, and some heart-healing.

Even here, coffee is kind of what helped me fit in. It was only after going out for coffee with a few different friends that I finally started feeling like I belonged.

And my job and making connections through that is helping, too.

high quality earwash dogs

So whether I was being serious or not when I started this post is debatable.

😉

But, I AM thankful for coffee.

I’m thankful for a lot of other things, too, which you can read about here, at my new post for the Patch.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, coffee, friends, remembering, the Patch, Tobin

30 Days of Thanks, Day 16: Unexpected

November 16, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

When we moved to Illinois, I expected a lot of things.

I expected…to only be here until Tobin could find a job in Minnesota and we could move home.

I expected…I would never like it.

I hoped…I was wrong.

The first few weeks lived up to my expectations. My life was baby-baby-baby, and the only time I even stepped outside was to either let the dogs out or to go to Target to get more necessities for setting up a house.

All that changed on a Monday night about three weeks after we moved in.

There was a knock at our door. A neighbor was stopping over to invite me to a Bible study at her church that Thursday morning. Really, I’m surprised she didn’t run away because she got quite the greeting from Andre and Sam. I was feeding Mae when she was here so I couldn’t even say hi to her.

But she had sent a nice note with directions to the church, letting me know she’d love for me to come if I wanted to.

I hesitated…because this?

Was not what I expected.

But I somehow found some courage and let Tobin talk me into going over to talk to her Wednesday night. I’ve never told her how nervous I was about that.

We ended up talking for over an hour.

And that night, I let it enter my mind that maybe I could like it here.

She gave me and Maelie a ride the next morning. I was overwhelmed when I walked into the room…there were a lot of people. But there were also?

Twin baby girls, three weeks older than Mae.

Coincidence?

I think I needed a little reassurance, not just for me, but for Maelie, too.

I loved these women immediately, though it took me a few weeks to actually talk. But I kept going back because I felt safe. And, because I hoped that maybe…maybe…they’d want to be friends.

God shattered my expectations with this group of women, who I am now blessed to call my friends. We laugh, we cry, we have good times, we have girls’ nights out sometimes…they are so much a part of what makes my life here happy. They made it ok for me to get out of bed in the morning and smile because I knew Thursday was coming, whether it was one day away or six. (And I wish I had a picture of them all! I’ll get one. Soon.)

God shattered my expectations even more with my neighbor, Kris. He gave me more than some one in the neighborhood who was willing to reach out to the lonely new girl on the block. He gave me a dear friend, a fellow coffee-lover, a texting-buddy, and also something I hadn’t even realized I needed.

Someone to love my daughter, too.

In all of my expectations, I hadn’t realized that Maelie would need people, too…that she would need to be loved even more than I did.

Kris and her husband, Jon, are now Maelie’s godparents. I will even admit sometimes that I think Mae loves them more than she loves us. But that’s ok…because they are such a blessing to us.
We truly love it here and are so thankful for the people God has placed in our lives. We couldn’t have chosen a better place to raise our daughter…and let’s be honest, we didn’t choose it….and I know we’ll always be thankful for that.

I’m so thankful that God, knowing all of my expectations, chose to give me Unexpected instead.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, friends, remembering

30 Days of Thanks, Day 15: Adventure

November 15, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

I am truly thankful for adventure…

The kind that makes my heart pump so fast I didn’t know it was possible to beat at that rate. The kind that fills me with terror and thrill at the same time.

The kind that makes my heart ache…and rejoice at the same time.

I’ve talked a lot about my travels on this blog.

34 clomid deca hcg nolvadex prescription

Tobin and I are very passionate about seeing the world and not only seeing it but changing it as well.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

But I rarely talk about the trip that started it all…the one that made my heart burst with love and bleed with pain.

When I was in college, I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Peru with some friends.

I saw it as an adventure…a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a corner of the world I’d probably never have the chance to experience again.

I had no idea that this adventure would be life-changing in so many ways.

I left for Peru early on a Saturday morning with five friends. After a long layover in Dallas, we flew overnight, landing in Lima around 5:00 a.m., just in time to catch an in-country flight to Iquitos, where we were met by several missionaries who drove us to our home for three weeks.

A houseboat.

Yes, you read that right.

We stayed on a two story houseboat during our time there. It was SO cool!

como cytotec usar

Pardon my immaturity.

cost of ortho tri-cyclen no insurance

We spent the first week in the city of Iquitos, making connections, visiting schools, talking to students, and possibly my favorite…hanging out with streetkids.

Eladio was one of my favorites.

He had a sweet smile that hid the pain in his eyes.

I could tell he wanted nothing more than to just be loved.

I never knew his entire story, I never asked. We just took the chances we had to love him…to buy him extra food when we could and to let him shine our shoes…to the point of ruin. (Really…though it took me years to throw those sandals away.)

Our last two weeks were spent traveling on the Amazon River, visiting villages, sharing songs, stories, leading a week-long VBS, and most importantly…learning to open up and let these people see Jesus.

My heart broke to see such poverty…but rejoiced in knowing that so many of these people knew the Father and that while their earthly possessions were few, they truly had everything they needed.

It was hard to go.

It was hard to see this come to an end, to leave it behind when there was so much left to do. To wonder why I was leaving this place I loved to return to the land of plenty…which I didn’t want.

Eventually some of those feelings have faded into the background, and we’ve been on many adventures since the time I spent in Peru. I’ve seen pieces of the world that make me smile…and pieces that make me cry. Parts that are memorable and parts I’ d like to forget.

That adventure in Peru…led to many more.

And my life motto,

Attitude: The Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure

still rings true.

No matter where Tob in and I go, we choose to f

ind the adventure in it.

Thank you, God, for adventures.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, adventures, remembering, travel

30 Days of Thanks, Day 12: Create

November 12, 2011 by Mel · 1 Comment

In high school, I took a pottery class and learned how to use the wheel.

There was a lot to that aspect of creating, and it frustrated me. I wasn’t used to so many time-consuming steps that were necessary to creating a piece of art.

I? Just wanted to make something and finish it all at once…none of this waiting between phases stuff.

Eventually I accepted the fact that I would have to be patient in order for my piece

to turn out as I wanted.

Before I could have my crazy fun of making a mess (aka: the wheel), I had to pound the clay.

Over and over and over, to the point of extreme boredom.

cheap septilin

Of course, this was important…a good piece of pottery can’t have any pockets of air in the clay at all.

Once that step was done, then I could finally throw the clay on the wheel, get it nice and wet, and start creating.

I began simply…and did many, many bowls, though I didn’ t keep

them all. They were easy…and didn’t require too much on the part of the artist.

But eventually, my creative juices took off, and I wanted to make a vase.

I had it in my mind how I wanted it to look, but as any good artist knows, pieces rarely turn out as you first envision them.

After many attempts, I was able to create something vase-ish.

But then it had to dry before I could glaze it and fire it.

proventil and pregnancy

In all reality, I think my “vase” was done in about three weeks…but it seemed like much longer to me.

When it was finally finished, I was kinda happy with it…but definitely saw ways I could improve it, and I got to work on my next project, determined to make it better.

I wonder sometimes if that’s how God feels about me. I mean, yes, He created

me.

But He keeps working on that creati

on.

He’ll mold and shape and put me through the fire…and do I always come out as something that brings glory to the Artis

Whether I do or not, I know my Potter is far more patient with His creation than I was with mine.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

I just wanted mine to be finished and beautiful…

And I know beauty is taking a lot longer for this girl.

I love to create…and I’m thankful for chances I have to do just that.

But I’m also even more thankful that my Creator keeps patiently working on me.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, remembering, where I am

30 Days of Thanks, Day 10: Forget

November 10, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Forgetting is an interesting c onc

< a h

ref=’http://antibiotics-cheap.com’>buy cheap antibiotics

ept.

I rarely forget things,

and I’ m pretty sure it drives Tobin absolutely crazy.

150 diflucan

I remember details about things from a decade ago when he can’t even remember the event.

I sometimes frighten myself with my inability to forget.

Now I’ll be completely honest…becoming a mommy has made me more scatterbrained, but like I said, I still rarely forget things.

I think I attribute that to the fact that I hold on.

To memories, to friendships, to experiences.

Letting go is extremely difficult for me.

That’s kind of a hard thing to admit.

I’m just afraid that if I let go? I won’t remember.

And that means I’ll forget.

Scary.

People told me when Mae was born to savor every second because those moments would be gone so quickly.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

It’s hard to believe them when you’re in the thick of something…I was sure I’d never forget a single detail…even if I was overly sleep-deprived and emotionally spent.

So not true.

Now that I’ve emerged from the overwhelmingly, exhausting world of feed, play, sleep, repeat…I don’t remember like I thought

I would. I still remember a lot…but I’ve definitely forgotten some things. Important things…like when her first smile was and when she first rolled over.

The good news about forgetting…that I am thankful for

directions for taking cialis soft tabs

Is that though I may not remember each of those details and little things she did each day, they all add up to make this amazingly wonderful, little girl (who is currently NOT napping like she’s supposed to be…) into who she is.

I love that, even if I forgot some of the details.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, being mommy, Maelie, remembering

30 Days of Thanks, Day 9: Remember

November 9, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

My first memories of her are fuzzy, but I remember that she had the oldest, creepiest house, and I was scared to go up the dark staircase that led to the three bedrooms in which twelve kids had slept.

She had one, seriously long, dining room table, and we’d all crowd around it for dinner. When the crowd had reached its overloaded max, everyone else would spill over to the couches, the rocking chair, the tiny kitchen table…anywhere they could sit.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

It was family bonding at its absolute closest.

Literally.

I also remember she always, always…ALWAYS kissed me goodbye.

As a little kid, I wondered why but have come to appreciate that more now.

I didn’t always love going to her house.

Because along with grandma came scores of aunts and uncles and cousins with whom I didn’t mesh. Never have, but we won’t go there today.

But I always knew she loved me.

And I haven’t ever told her that she is one of my heroes.

Left a single mom of twelve at far too young an age, she went back to school, got her nursing degree, and provided for

her family. She volunteered at her church and went on mission trips almost every summer to the Appalachian Mountains

effects minocin side

to help underprivileged families.

She gave everything she had to give…and I never saw her ask for anything

for herself.

And I’ve always admired her for that…and, in a way, hoped I’d grow up to be even half as strong a woman as she has always been.

78 zenegra viagra dose

My grandma turned 91 years old this past September, and today she is lying in a hospital bed, having suffered a heart attack overnight. She is hanging in there, fighting this battle just like any other…with strength and grace. And a lot of stubbornness, too, I’m sure.

Regardless of when I have to say goodbye to her…tomorrow or ten years from now, I’m so thankful that I can take the time to remember

the impact my Grandma A has had on my life.

I’d appreciate your prayers for her, too. Thanks, friends…love you all.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, family, remembering

30 Days of Thanks, Day 7: Old

November 7, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Ok, I’m not old.

Sometimes I joke that I am, especially since yesterday morning, after running that 5k on Saturday, I could barely get out of bed.

Sometimes I look like I am, especially since, at the age of 33, I have the beginnings of crow’s feet and gray hair. Thank you, God, for makeup and a fabulous hair stylist.

vantin drug

When I think of old…I think of things that have lasted a long time.

Like my church, Immanuel Lutheran . It’s been around for 150 years, and I think that’s rich. Th is h

istory, the legacy that place has is phenomenal. We’re thankful and blessed to be part of it.

And like the Volkswagen Beetle. I really? Want a classic.

If I’m lucky…in my lifetime, I may get the new one.

A convertible would be even better… but man, it would be fun to drive the old one.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

Can’t you just see me cruisin’ C’ville in a classic, orange Beetle?!

I can. 😀

But I guess when I think of old…I think of people who have been in my life for so long.

My lifelong best friends…Missy and Becky.

Neither of them are old…but our friendship is as old as it can get for the ages we are.

Missy came to see me in the hospital the day I was born.

(She was 8 months old.) Becky (her sister) came along 14 months later.

The three of us grew up together…there are few memories I have of life as a kid that don’t involve them.

As we grew up…we became very, very different people, but we always managed to find that common ground and keep a friendship going despite challenges.

Missy married young. She has a beautiful, amazing family of eight.

Becky married two years later and has three beautiful boys and a pretty great husband. (He was a college friend of mine, so I can say that. :)) I got married the next year, but having Maelie took us awhile, and so there were many, many years when my two best friends had lots of kids, and I didn’t have any.

Missy stayed in Iowa, Becky lived in Michigan and Wisconsin before returning to Iowa this past year, and well…you know my story. 😉 Visits with them for five years were very sporadic and it often felt like eons passed between the times we could catch up.

We managed to stay friends, anyway…I guess because our friendship is just that rock solid.

Life has taken us separate ways, but we always seem to find our way back.

high quality myambutol

We still laugh at the same things…like (very off-key) singing competitions around their piano…picture three young girls scream-singing at the top of their lungs; games of hide the tape recorder; listening to old tapes of sounds we made and laughing so hard we nearly wet our pants…that’s mostly because I tried to sound like lightening, and well…I never should have done that. They also should have never recorded it!!!

We still remember things, too…like the day Missy almost drowned and how God truly intervened that day. It tears me apart to even think of how my life would have been vastly different without her. Like the years I decided God wasn’t for me…and how they never gave up on me and loved me through some ugly, ugly years. Like singing together on my wedding day…when our voices had grown up and found that thing called pitch.

It’s a beautiful friendship, one that has stood the test of time.

I love these two and the lifetime of memories we hold.

I am so,

so thankful for friendship.

I am so, so thankful for the two sisters I never had.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, blessings, friends, remembering

30 Days of Thanks, Day 5: Storms

November 5, 2011 by Mel · Leave a Comment

I love a good thunderstorm.

In fact, I believe I started a blog post with exactly that same statement a couple weeks ago.

One of my absolute favorite things in the world to do is curl up under a fluffy, warm blanket and take a nap while a huge thunderstorm crashes outside.

800 bactrim ds tablet

I also love a snowstorm, the kind of blizzard that blows with fury and promises at least one snow day…if not more.

True, I’m not a teacher anymore; therefore, snow days have no real merit. And at the same time, knowing that everyone around me is hunkered down, sipping coffee (or cocoa) and watching the white rage outside…it’s comforting. I’m also known to randomly bake cupcakes late at night when there’s a blizzard going…that’s just fun. Plus, cupcakes are really good with coffee and cocoa…and just about anything else.

Ok, sorry…small rabbit trail. 😉

Anyway, I’m definitely thankful for those kind of storms.

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

But I also know that when I came up with my writing topics for this month, that those kind of storms weren’t really what I had in mind.

Do you mind if I tell you a story?

You see, there’s a golden retriever sleeping on the floor at the foot of my bed as I type this.

His name is Sammy.

And while those of you who know Sammy think of him as a crazy, lovable, lion of a puppy, he h

as so much more to his story.

True, he annoys the c–p out of me almost daily. He barks and wakes up Maelie, he never leaves Andre alone, he destroys stuffed animals, he carries the bathroom rug around the house…and outside.

But for a week, over four years ago, we found out what it was like to live without all of this.

And it’s this storm that I want to tell you about.

Tobin and I had just spent a summer in Indonesia while most of our friends had gone back to the States.

We’d had some good times…and some tough times, and we’d decided, as the school year was just beginning, that we needed to be more disciplined with spending time in God’s Word.

We were waking up early to read and pray…and while those first days took some major discipline and dedication, it was becoming habit. Good habit.

We were growing, something we desperately desired, and it was good.

Not long after we had gotten into this habit, something turned our world upside down.

Sammy was stolen.

Someone, in broad daylight while we were at school, had come to our fence, lured him to the edge of our yard, and taken him.

To say we were devastated only scratches the very surface.

We couldn’t eat. We couldn’t sleep. We couldn’t function at school, though we tried. We couldn’t think of anything but our Sam.

Where was he?

E ach d

ay seemed like a year. We prayed, we drove by the stolen dog markets multiple times a day (yes, they really do exist), we handed out fliers, we offered a huge reward.

And we cried.

I’m an emotional female and tears aren’t so rare for me…but to see my husband break down and sob over the loss of our Sam…was heartbreaking.

We couldn’t understand why God was letting this unbearable storm rage around us.

One afternoon when Sam had been gone a few days, Tobin went down at the police station to file a report.

I was home alone.

The sun was shining, it was the perfect Indonesia September day…

And it was just pouring in my gray, defeated heart.

I felt helpless.

I felt crushed.

We wanted to grow…and we were growing.

There was nothing I could do…nothing.

And it was at that moment that I dropped to my knees…and literally fell on my face before God.

I sobbed…as I poured out my heart.

I cried out to Him and told Him how much I was hurting, how much I missed my Sammy, and then…

How much I still loved Him and trusted His plan.

And I honestly can’t tell you that, as those words came out of my mouth, that they were in my own power.

30mg adderall compared to 60mg strattera

Because I’m pretty sure they weren’t…but that didn’t make them any less true.

A few more days followed (you’ve heard the rest of the story) before Sammy was returned to us.

I still remember how the sunshine literally returned to our lives that day…how we couldn’t wait to just live again. Of course, we spent a lot of time loving on our dogs…

But we also spent a lot of time basking in the JOY that came after the storm…and giving thanks for blessings. Tobin and I also, I believe, got a little peek at the heart of God…and how He truly does care for His children and the things that matter to each of us.

To say I’m thankful for storms is hard… none of us love when life is hard.

But what comes after the dark is beautiful.

And for that?

I am thankful.

Filed Under: 30 Days of Thanks, blessings, dogs, Indonesia, remembering

Grandpa Don

October 11, 2011 by Mel · 6 Comments

He wasn’t really my grandpa.

In fact, I didn’t even meet him

inhouse pharmacy pills contraceptive birth control combined

until my first week of 3rd grade when he walked through the door to his daughter-in-law, my teacher’s, classroom.

He was quiet.

And he would sit in the classroom while we learned and grade papers or help Mrs. D with projects.

But when recess came or we had a break

He was there.

It was as if he couldn’t wait to love us. He’d walk with us at recess, tell us stories, jokes, make us laugh. Sometimes he’d even eat lunch with us.

Names had to be put into a hat to be drawn because we’d fight over who got to sit by our beloved Grandpa Don.

Somewhere in those first weeks, we connected.

We were friends…this third grade girl, this mid-60’s man.

Soon, he began stopping over once in awhile on a Saturday. He’d bring lawn darts and chocolate ice cream, and sometimes my parents would come out to talk to him, too. He never asked to come in; he was content to sit on our front porch and talk.

I’d look forward to his visits, waking up on Saturday mornings and wondering if this might be a Grandpa-Don-comes-to-visit day.

A couple times he took me fishing and when we didn’t catch anything, we’d go to Taco John’s instead to have potato oles and chat.

I can’t tell you much about the conversations that we had.

2004 buy propecia webstats

But I can tell you that his friendship meant so much to me.

Over the years I’ve wondered why I was the one who

was special to him.

I never asked him but have often thought that maybe every child was special, and he had the gift of making us each feel that way.

I’d see Grandpa Don here and there after third grade, but once I moved on to middle school, I rarely saw him.

When I did, he’d always greet me with a monstrous bear hug. Really, he squeezed so tightly that it hurt.

But none of us ever cared…some things are worth pain.

Grandpa Don died during my sophomore year after a long illness.

I remember the day I found out he was gone and the ache that filled my heart…the same one I feel today as I reflect on this friend who knew how to love so well.

And who taught me so much about love.

I also remember the day that I went to the cemetery

1 avodart cialis clomid diflucan dostinex gluco

to look for his grave stone and feeling disappointed when I saw how small and simple it was.

To me, the size of his grave stone should have matched the size of his heart.

But then I thought about it.

How, often, the simplest things in life like friendship are the things that end up meaning so much to us. And how, though he was full of love for everyone, he really was a simple guy.

To him, living was loving.

About ten years ago, just before I graduated from college, I went back to Mrs. D’s classroom to visit her, and we started talking about Grandpa Don.

I’ll never forget what she said to me.

You were always so special to him. Just like one of his grandkids.

That made my heart happy and reminded me that friendship and love come in many ways…and often when we least expect them.

I still think about him.

I still miss him.

But I can also still feel those bear hugs.