Five-Minute Friday: Bare

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Bare

It’s an early and cold winter morning, and the first thing I do is wiggle my bare feet into my slippers.

Being a tropical-at-heart girl, I’m not so much into being cold, and those slippers, strangely, make my entire body feel about a hundred degrees warmer. Even though they’re only covering my feet.

I remember the blizzard we got two years ago, and how I couldn’t wait to jump around in the almost-two-feet of snow that fell. At one point, I got this crazy idea to take my boots and socks off and run around barefoot in the snow.

It was cold…like, I’m not sure I’ve ever been that cold. And, honestly, I had a hard time warming up for the rest of the day.

When we walk around with bare feet, our senses are heightened. We notice those things we may have missed with shoes or slippers or even a pair of socks.

That lovely, little dribble-puddle of apple juice my daughter has left on the floor.

The sticky peanut butter that somehow escaped from her sandwich and made it’s way to the bottom of my foot.

That tiny little rock on the sidewalk that, had I even been wearing flip flops, I never would have noticed.

And sometimes? What we’ve experienced while we’re barefoot affects us longer than foot-stickiness or a moment of pain.

I named my blog what it is for a reason.

While slippers are awesome…especially in the frigid-to-me, Chicago-burb winters…I never want to get too comfortable with those foot-coverings.

God tells us in Scripture that we should rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

Basically, I feel like He’s telling me I should feel…as much as possible.

Go barefoot. :)

Even if my feet end up freezing while I’m doing it. 😉

Five Minute Friday

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Mean Girls

It’s Tuesday…Dreaming Day.

Actually, every day is full of dreams for me ;), but today…grab a cup of coffee and let’s have a chat.

Last week, my friend Holley asked the ladies on the God-Sized Dream Team to do something really scary. Like, so scary, I still cringe.

She asked us to post a photo of ourselves during an awkward phase.

Oh, there were sweaty, shaky hands and almost-puke-inducing butterflies as I selected this photo, checked fifty times to make sure I was only posting it to the private Dream Team facebook page, and then hit the share button.

Awkward, almost-12-year-old Mel.

It’s not as if I think I was the ugliest person on the planet…though that perm…really?! Why did we ever think that was a remotely acceptable style? 😉

But that picture reminds me of things. People. Words…often unkind ones. Memories I can’t shake of a heart-bleeding time in my life.

Those have left deep wounds that are still not fully healed.

I was awkward, somewhat of an outcast…always questioning belonging and relationship. Not the happiest place for a preteen to be. And, sadly, it never really got better until I moved on from that little Iowa town.

There were just some mean girls…I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now. And I really don’t want to go there today…we all know about mean girls.

But when I saw today’s writing topic,

What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

Oh, I tried. Believe me, friends, I tried…to find one fear that was bigger, one that scared me more, yet I could somehow bear to face a little easier in this vulnerable, online place of heart-spilling.

But I just couldn’t.

Because, more than anything, I am afraid of mean girls.

I fear what I feared in middle school…in a different, yet strangely similar, way.

I fear that the things I write from my heart that mean so much to me will be ridiculed and made fun of, purposely stomped on and torn apart. I fear that the dream God has placed in my heart will shatter to bits under the weight of these things.

Oh, how these thoughts and emotions could potentially destroy me if I let them. And I can’t let them.

I know that these fears and insecurities I have in me won’t just disappear overnight. That’s not the way we learn trust and acceptance and identity.

But what I know? Is that my God is bigger than them.

Way bigger.

And in facing this fear of rejection, I simply need to rely on His promises to me and trust them as Truth…because they are.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:7-8

There are probably a thousand other verses I could share…My Father is truly the One Who can heal and overcome, build us back up when we’ve been torn down…and remind us of where true belonging and identity are found.

Perhaps the experiences I’ve had have also reminded me of grace and the choice I have to extend it each day to those around me. I don’t always know what they face; I don’t know what goes on in their hearts. But I can choose to love and accept, to be kind and embrace others as who God has created them to be.

And if you’d like to read some amazing stories of how God is at work in making big dreams happen for some amazing women, click on the button below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Pushing Past Doubt

When I went I away to college, I was barely 18. (Read: just weeks into adulthood.)

There were a lot of rules going on at my small, Baptist college (another day, maybe ;)) but the one that nearly destroyed my college career was the you-can-only-miss-three-weeks-of-classes-per-semester, any-more-and-you-fail rule. No exceptions.

At face value, this rule didn’t seem like much. Who plans on missing that much school?

What I didn’t factor into the equation was the possibility of sickness.

Two weeks into the semester, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis which turned into pneumonia. I missed my three weeks, but I was adamant that I would not fail my classes and headed back to school even though I probably shouldn’t have just yet.

It was a tall order to fill…if I missed any one class another time, I would automatically fail it. (Let me just point out here that at a college with 7 a.m. classes, oversleeping was an entirely realistic possibility. Especially for a girl who loves her sleep. :))

I went back determined…and I did ok for a couple weeks until I heard two girls talking about me. (They have no idea, to this day, that I heard their conversation.)

She’s never going to be able to do it. She’ll give up and go home.

At the time, the words sliced like a knife. I couldn’t believe that at a Bible college, people were being anything less than supportive. (A bit naive, perhaps? ;))

I found myself tucked into a corner in my dorm room that night, knees huddled to my chest, crying my eyes out…So. Ready. To. Just. Quit. I had started to believe what those girls had said was true…that I could never do it. That I should just give up.

I’m not sure at the time if it was more because I wanted to prove those girls wrong (which I totally did…YAY me!) or if I wanted to obey God. I knew He wanted me to be a teacher, something I had dreamed of for years, and a failed semester with all of that wasted money would only put that dream even further out of reach.

And so I stayed, wading through life a day at a time, praying I could somehow do it all. I didn’t come out of that semester with straight A’s, but I did make it. :)

***************************

And now here I am. Still Mel.

A little wiser and maybe-a-little older. 😉

Wife, mommy, friend, blog-writer, hopefully, soon-to-be, published-author.

There are those days when the enemy whispers discouragement and frustration into my already-doubting heart. The sad thing is, sometimes he uses people to do it.

I had a situation recently where someone said something that literally about destroyed me…they had a hard time believing I’d follow through.

The logical part of me gets that…I do, I really do.

I’m extremely fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I get passionate about something and dive ALL-IN, sure that the entire world around me can’t wait to join in the fun. :)

But the emotional, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve side needed to get the tears out first.

And after I’d cried about it for probably-too-long, I talked to God. I even admitted to Him that sometimes I have a hard time following through. As if He needed me to tell Him that. 😉

But He was so Good, bringing me back to this scene from college, one that I had almost let ruin me and my future, because I’d allowed a lie to creep into my heart and take root.

The lie that said I couldn’t do it. Just because someone else didn’t think I could.

We dreamers…that’s including any of YOU who have ever had a dream…are in a vulnerable place. It takes courage and confidence and strength to put those dreams out there for the world to see. It takes even more of the above to push forward and follow those dreams with a curious audience watching. It puts us in a place where it’s very possible there will be word-throwing and ability-bashing.

And sometimes failure.

We just have to keep going. Trusting. Following what He’s called us to do.

I’m not going to tell you all that I’ve completely forgotten those words that were said to me. I’m extremely thankful that there’s been resolution, and I’m holding nothing against that person. Hugs have been exchanged, all is good. :)

But I’d be willing to bet that it’s not the last time this kind of discouragement is going to creep in, but rising above it and pushing forward is what my Father wants me to do.

Remembering that it isn’t about proving someone wrong…it’s about following what I’m called to do.

My dear friends, dreamers…follow your calling. Don’t let people get you down. Do what you know you need to do, and never forget that

The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.
1 Thess. 5:24 (NIV)

Want to read more stories of how God-Sized Dreams are being realized? Click on the button below and hop on over…we’re linking up every Tuesday to share what God is doing!

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Dive

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Dive

Ok, I just gotta laugh here.

Like, really.

Because I know a lot of you think of me as somewhat athletic…no sarcasm here…I’m a runner, and I can hold my own in a volleyball match or a basketball game.

But you should have seen me try to learn how to dive.

Like, physically dive. Into-a-pool dive.

It was a riot. 😀

I was your typical eight-or-nineish-year-old girl who hung out with her best friends at the pool every day during the summer. (I heart small towns for that very reason.)

Around that age, diving became the cool thing…and what’s not to love? Springing off the diving board, sailing through the air, and plunging headfirst into the cool water?

I so wanted that to be me.

And. It. SOOOOOOO. Wasn’t.

Oh, I was a klutz. For most of that summer, I just couldn’t figure it out.

I’d bend over with my arms outstretched over my head and jump.

Every time, without fail, I’d splish splash into a belly-flop worth of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

I would laugh at myself because that’s just me, but secretly, I wanted to execute the perfect dive so badly.

What a metaphor for life, really.

There are so many dreams and desires we hold dear and wish deeply that they will come true.

We try and try and put our best possible effort forward, and they still don’t end up looking like we wish they would.

Often, though they will eventually happen, there are challenges and flubs along the journey that complicate it. Or, maybe, build character.

And so when I dove headfirst into writing this book, I think somewhere inside I knew it would be much like I described learning how to actually dive…I’m sure there will be moments, but it will happen…when the time is right and when God says, Now. 

Until then, I just keep trying. Just keep doing what I’m doing and trusting Him.

Just keep writing those paragraphs and telling those stories. :)

And since I know you’re wondering, I can now execute a flawless dive. Maybe I should try for the Olympics next?

:)

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Those 12

This post should probably be otherwise titled, That Post When I Reflect Too Much.

However, I want you to actually read it. 😉

Exactly 364 days ago, I set some goals, which you can read here. (Or you can just scroll down, too.)

Time to see how I did! (And to look forward to all that 2013 holds…which I very much hope includes some brown and tan paint over some purple walls. Do I get bonus points for choosing the colors at least?)

Spoiler…oops. Sorry about that. 😉

Here we go!

1. Start…and finish…the canvas painting for Maelie’s room. Check. No drama here. I just painted it one Sunday afternoon, hung it on her wall that night, and that was that. :)

2. Redecorate our front living room. (The purple needs to go! Soon.) Well, friends, the purple still needs to go. We actually bought the paint in October, but between life and more life, the living room is still an unfortunate shade of purple.

3. Start an Etsy store so I can sell my jewelry. Ok, so I’m not selling jewelry. But selling hats on Etsy counts, right? 😉 

4. Take some kind of lessons…guitar, voice, djembe…still deciding, but leaning toward djembe. I went with guitar and started in April. It’s good…am learning a lot and even played a real bar chord, though it wasn’t pretty. :) 

5. Complete a marathon. (Edit…1/2 marathon.) Didn’t happen. Though a half marathon is on the list for this May, and then we’ll see. I don’t have any plans to run a full marathon yet…to be honest, though I love running, four hours straight of running does not really sound even remotely enjoyable. I think I need my marathon-running friends to give me a little push here. :)

6. Run a 5k in less than 30 minutes. This actually happened several times during the year, which was a boost. I broke 30 for the first time in May and am now running my regular 5k around 28:00 flat, give or take. My fastest clocked one was around 27:15…factor in a few stops for cars that don’t yield to pedestrians (or runners). I’ll take it. :) Would still love to hit the 26’s…we’ll see. :)

7. Continue blogging at least three times a week once January 24th has passed. Yep, got that one covered. :)

8. (Re)Learn how to sew and make a bag out of some of my Indonesian batik I still have. Nope. I thought about pulling out the sewing machine several times but never actually did it. I love to teach myself new things, but sewing scares me.

9. Finish the rough draft of my book, Lessons From Indo: On Life, Love, and Squatty Potties, and submit it to at least one publisher. Am late on this one, but the plan is to be done by May. Extremely grateful for the chance to be part of the God-Sized Dream Team…these women are such an encouragement as I navigate something that is really new. It’s one thing to write a blog…it’s a completely foreign place to write a book. Really praying it will happen in 2013!

10. Continue developing discipline in my life by spending time in God’s Word each day…whether two minutes or two hours. This one could be a post all on it’s own. I’m not sure why I even set this goal because for me, it was unattainable. Don’t misunderstand me…I love my Father and His Word. But, honestly, I didn’t read the Bible every day. I don’t know if that makes me a bad Christian or just an honest one. Maybe I’ll hash this one out more later. :)

11. Guest write for another blog at least once. (The Patch doesn’t count.) I didn’t pursue this one like I should have…I found myself most content just writing at my own place and linking up other places, which provided some new bloggy friends. To me, that’s worth it. :) But I do have a guest post coming out next month on (in)courage…not sure of the date but will let you all know when it’s up! This one, in particular, was really a blessing because one of the editors wrote and asked me if they could use something I’d written. I must be doing something right. Thank you, God. :)

12. Go on an actual vacation with Tobin (and no Mae) to celebrate our 10th. We stomped our feet (well, not really) through Marbella, Spain; Tangier, Morocco; and Paris, France. It was a crazy adventure, as all trips we take together seem to be. We missed Maelie, but it was good time to spend together, and we had a really memorable time. Spain gave us our time to relax, Morocco was an insanely crazy adventure that left me dying to go back and explore more, and Paris was a dream come true, complete with bread. (We even kissed under the Eiffel Tower!) 

It was a wonderful 2012, though not everything turned out as I had first pictured. In many ways, it was better.

Here’s to a wonderful 2013!

Blessings to each of you, and thanks for being part of my barefoot journey!

God is so Good.

Sig

Christmas Favorites

Song? Hope is Born Again (Point of Grace)

Movie? Prancer takes the cake. But closely following it are Home Alone and It’s a Wonderful Life. And for some reason, I associate The Sound of Music with Christmas, so although it’s not technically a Christmas movie, it still makes the list. :)

Book? Would you believe I just started reading A Christmas Carol for the first time two nights ago? Determined to finish it by Christmas. :) But I also love The House Without a Christmas Tree and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, two books I read over and over as a child.

Drink? I hate eggnog…just throwin’ that out there now. 😉 Apple cider and coffee with holiday creamers.

Food? I don’t know that I have one favorite. Love the cookies. Love ham and all the yummy things that go with it.

Childhood Memory? Probably when I was nine years old. I had asked for a scooter, and when I came downstairs (at around 5 a.m. I’m sure!) it was under the tree. But it was so cold and snowy that I rode that scooter around the basement until March. :)

Most Unique? We spent Christmas of ’06 in Thailand with our friends, Becky and Andy. On Christmas morning, we exchanged stockings, ate breakfast, and then went to the Grand Palace in Bangkok. That night we went out for an incredible Italian dinner and finished the day with a little shopping in the market. Definitely a Christmas to remember!

Tradition? Now that we have Mae, I love the little things we are doing to give her traditions and memories…like our Advent calendar (which we always forget to do!), buying her an ornament each year that represents something significant from her life that year. As she gets older, it will be fun to do things like gingerbread houses and decorating cookies.

Giving or Receiving? Giving.

Tree…Real or Fake? Fake, out of necessity. I need to be able to breathe. 😉

White Christmas? Yes to the movie. The snow, I can go either way…so it’s win-win.

Lights? Yes again, but only white. Not a fan of multicolored.

Memorable Gift? I went a year and a half in Indonesia without my wedding ring. (Long story.) One Christmas Tobin picked out a white gold ring for me with three little diamonds. I loved it, and I love that he picked it out himself. :)

Wish List? It’s more fun to wish for Mae. :) But call me a dork…I asked for leg warmers. Really. If they are in my stocking on Christmas morning, I’ll be a happy girl.

Perfect Day? One spent surrounded by my family and/or friends and filled with laughter and love.

Feel free to join me and leave your answers in the comments. 😉 Hope you’re all enjoying the Christmas season…it’s a busy one, isn’t it?

Sig

Something Fun

So I’ve been having an I-miss-Indo month.

Lots of reminders here and there, I guess.

Anyway, I decided to look back through pictures, and I had totally forgotten about this.

In September ’09 we took a day trip to Jatiluhur, a lake that was about an hour from our house. (Lakes that are used for recreation are pretty uncommon in Indonesia.) It was a fun trip, and potentially the highlight (?) of the day was this.

A pedal-yourself roller coaster.

Seriously. You literally pedal yourself around on this teeny-tiny (really) track that wobbles a little too much for it’s own good.

Here we are…right before we started pedaling. I was convinced we might die. And had I known that Maelie was in my belly at the time (’cause she totally was!) I may have never done it.

This one is my favorite. See that group of people in the bottom right corner of the picture that seem fascinated with the coaster?

They’re really not.

They are, in fact, fascinated with the shrieking bule (white girl) who is convinced that this may be her last moment on earth, as she teetered helplessly far too high in the air. (Ok, so maybe I’m a tiny bit over-dramatic. ;))

At any rate, it sure made me smile to see these tonight…and say a thank-you prayer to God that I’m still alive. 😉

Sig

Morky

I found him tonight, buried in a storage bin, and I had to hold the tears back as I hugged him for the first time in over a decade.

I’ve known him since the beginning.

Brown, soft, and furry, he was always my favorite.

I named him Morky.

At first glance, he just looks well-loved. But he holds pieces of my life…so many of them.

He wears a gray sweatshirt…it hides the scars of the multiple surgeries he has had over the years. Poor Morky has been sewn and stitched back together more than most who have been around for 34+ years.

His sweatshirt also bears a panda patch, the only thing that remains of my beloved baby blanket, Smoky. When Smoky was on his last threads, my mom found a way to preserve a little piece of him.

And, he holds my tears, too. He held them, for sure, the day my friend died. He still had a special spot in my heart and in my life during my teenage years, and he held the tears for me the day I watched my daddy leave, too.

Maybe it’s silly to hang onto something…and yet, he is more than just that. Morky is a piece of who I am.

And maybe it’s just as silly…taking the time to remember…but finding him tonight made my day. :)

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Roots

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Roots

Sometimes having a scattered life can lead to that feeling that there are no real roots. When pieces of existence span oceans and continents, knowing where exactly those roots are deeply planted is difficult.

The first decade was just that.

A cute little green house in a Twin Cities suburb. Job bouncing and church hopping, waiting for what He had for us.

We knew it was something, and it was.

Three years after we moved into that cute little house, whose color resembled that of pistachio ice cream, we pulled up the roots we’d put down, hopped on a plane, and flew to the other side of the world.

Those roots grew differently in the tropics.

Though we planted and watered, things just blossomed in a different way. Five years of wonderful and stressful, of stretching and challenging, of loving and living made us into different people. Gave us different worldviews, insights, and most importantly, lifelong friends.

And yet the roots were not to remain there forever.

Once more we pulled them up…strangely, far more painful than the first time…and moved them to an at-the-time obscure, almost-suburb of Chicago.

We planted them and we daily water them because, for now, this is where they should grow.

We have a daughter now, and she needs a place to call home. We are investing in the life around us, determined that these roots will stick no matter if there’s something next or if this is it.

And while, in this place, it is good to have roots and we love that they are planted here, my Father daily reminds me of something.

That this world is not my home.

As important as it is to have that place on earth to be my home, rooting myself in Him and His Word, His Promises, and His Love is what will truly bring growth.

My dear friend said it best in a song she wrote…

Lord, plant Your Word in my soul, only You make me whole.

Father, keep my roots planted in the right place.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Voice

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Voice

I have always loved music.

When I was a little girl, I would sing all the time…make up songs, sing along to my little Fisher Price cassette player, pound out tunes on my mini keyboard and sing along.

My singing voice was very important to me.

I remember my first solo when I was eight years old. I sang some song about a silly camel in our community children’s choir concert.

For a split second I was nervous, but once I heard myself through the microphone, I was all there.

I loved that I was being heard.

Granted, I was eight and very self-centered. More than just my singing voice has matured since then. :)

But the idea of being heard…of having that voice that people listen to…is still a desire.

This blogging community is a unique one.

Each of us use our voices in a different way…and while we won’t always admit it audibly, we want to be heard, just as I did the first time I stood in front of a microphone.

We want those readers and those comments and those people to say, Yes! I get it! I’m totally there with you! This is great.

But for many, these things don’t happen. We can’t all be the writer whose voice is heard by thousands…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Each time I, or any other blogger, sit down to splash our hearts out, we are using our voices. Someone…somewhere…will listen.

Which makes my voice (and yours!) worth something, even if it’s not always as loud as I would like it to be.

Five Minute Friday

Sig