Maelie

Little Blessings (Pt. 48)

September 9, 2012 by Mel · 2 Comments

I feel bad that this series has tapered off…trust me, my life is abounding with blessings. And I need to keep counting them, even on the rough days.

God is doing some really cool things, and I’m excited to share them with you, hopefully soon.

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend.

Now, the list. 😉

Ice cream dates with my girl. Like, the kind when I end up wearing half of her sundae before the date is over. Choosing to smile over our precious time together instead.

This 5k. Which I managed to run a mere 25 days after having my gall bladder out. Nowhere near a PR for me, but I love the cause. Was worth the pain that running FOUR hills involved, and I managed to still break 30. 😉 (Ok, I’ll stop…some of you have heard me talk about this a little too much! HA.)

Symphony concerts with friends.

Changing the life of a child. So thankful for my Bible study group and their decision to sponsor a child. You can, too!

Hide and seek with a two-year old who skips five every time she counts to ten. LOVE her.

Parades and candy and perfect, sunshine-y 70 degree weather.

Piano duets with a certain little girl…a strange mix of beauty and chaos. So profound that it triggered a blog post I’m hoping to use as a guest-write. We’ll see.

Flowers and barefoot dancing.

The promise of fall being here very soon.

Seasons…and that He performs miracles in each one. My Father is Good.

Filed Under: blessings, Compassion, just life, Maelie, where I am

In This Brokenness

September 1, 2012 by Mel · 6 Comments

In accepting the brokenness I have found hope and beauty. I’m learning it’s by grace alone that we face each day.

These words hit me in a very powerful way several days ago. Written by an author for one of my favorite blogs, she shared a very candid account of how she’d had to learn to see the beauty in something that could potentially destroy a momma’s heart.

I thought about her words for awhile…and kept them in the back of my mind, wanting to process them more fully to see what God might be teaching me through what she shared.

I had no idea.

I had no idea that sometimes God breaks us to the point of having nothing to lean upon but His grace.

I had no idea He’d do that to me.

You see, I’m a person who has a hard time admitting weakness. And it had been a tough week. My daughter is two. Battles galore. My daughter is two. More time-outs than are worthy of counting. My daughter is two. What feels like constant correcting.

Trying to do all of those things in love.

But still…

My daughter is two.

And I am a human being. Not supermom.

I can try all I want, but I will never be perfect.

Wednesday afternoon came, and out of the blue, so did the very thing that broke me.

I didn’t see it coming.

I had no idea.

It literally about destroyed me.

I fell into my husband’s arms and sobbed. I held my daughter close and cried even more. The tears flowed as a friend interrupted her schedule to listen and hold my hand and pray and just be there.

I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t think of anything else. Couldn’t bring myself to face the world, the same one that usually gives this extreme people person the energy to thrive.

I told myself from the beginning that I had to keep going. But that didn’t mean it was easy.

I wanted to stay in bed. I couldn’t go to Bible study. Two visits from friends brought more tears than I wanted to cry.

I just wanted to see purpose behind heartbreak.

It’s been a few days, and I’m still in that emotional, searching-for-understanding, mode. There are still tears that threaten to spill as I sit in Starbucks and try to find words for a brokenness that is so real. So painful that it feels like the life is being sucked out of me.

And then I go back to the words she shared from a heart that knows what it’s like to bleed…

We’re all broken, and it’s by His grace alone that we face each day.

I don’t know how to get through this one.

I tell you that openly and honestly. Because my heart hurts, and I want more than anything to understand the purpose behind the pain.

But it is, truly, by His Grace alone that I have gotten out of bed on Thursday.

And Friday.

And today.

And I know I’ll get up tomorrow and trust Him to get me through the day…just like He has each day before.

I have the hope, in this brokenness, that He will bring beauty from something that shattered this momma’s heart.

***Thanks to each of you for reading. I realize I didn’t share many details here, and I know you’re probably curious. I want you to know two things. First, my family is fine. We’re loving on each other. And two, I hope that someday, when the pain is less and the beauty is more, that I can share more openly with you. In the meantime, thanks for just taking the time to read this space. You know I love you.

Filed Under: Maelie, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday

August 31, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Kinda liking this link-up.

It’s not really my blogging habit to get into weekly fads…though I’ll link to them occasionally. I just like the freedom to write what I want on any given day.

But I’m incredibly tired of thinking this week 😉 and so a Friday link-up, especially for THIS Friday…is perfect.

Wishing you all a great weekend.

Over this Labor Day weekend I will be going for an early Saturday morning run, scrubbing down the pool before packing it away for eight-ish months, singing with my favorite praise team, and going to a picnic/BBQ at our sweet friends’ house. Ok, so those are the things that are planned. I’m sure there will be a lot more going on…especially with a two year-old in the house.

With the political debates going on right now, my thoughts are that I have a rule to never talk politics on my blog. But those of you who know me don’t have to think too hard to know which way I lean. Just sayin’. 😉

Today was our regular Friday. Plus lunch/coffee with some friends. After the insanely up and down, down, down week I had (which I’ll potentially process bits of tomorrow) it was nice to just be. Plus Mae sat still in a coffee shop for over an hour, just chillin’, drinking apple juice, playing ponies, and coloring. Dare I even HOPE that we might be past the please-let-me-run around stage? Maybe.

The best thing I’ve cooked recently is oh, goodness. Well, post-surgery, there hasn’t been a ton of that happening. But I did make a taco pizza last weekend that was pretty good. I didn’t know I could make taco pizza. Yay for me!

The last thing I bought was well, not counting a birthday gift for a friend today, I bought a skirt on clearance earlier in the week. I love Target 70% off clearance racks. Well, if we’re being honest, I love all things of the Target variety. But I’m willing to be patient if I can nab a skirt for $5 instead of $18. Which I did. Score. 😀

The best movie I saw this summer was HAHAHAHAHAHA! (That’s me laughing really, really loud…with a possible snort thrown in there, too.) Potentially because I only saw one movie this summer. No, I saw two. I take it back. As in, watched them both on DVD, not in actual theaters, either. The Vow was good, though I was a teeny bit disappointed with the ending. The friend I watched it with was much more fun than the movie. 😉 I don’t know…I’m just not so much a movie girl these days. Not sure why.

The best book I read this summer was Oh, golly, now I have to admit the things that I read. 😉 Drawing a huge blank here…and I read a lot. I re-read a Sophie Kinsella that was pretty good…her books always leave me laughing hysterically. (That wasn’t a new read, though.) I did finally start Water for Elephants, and I think it will be good. Also wanting to go back and read/finish the third book of The Hunger Games trilogy.

Filed Under: Fill-in-the-Blank Friday, friends, just life, Maelie, where I am

Aaaaahhhhh…

August 26, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

It was one of those days that I didn’t intend to be a day for sanity, but it turned into one. I have my wonderful, lengthy-nap-taking (today, anyway) daughter to thank for a lot of it. 😉 And the rain, ’cause I LOVE a rainy day. Pretty sure if it was relaxing, it was part of my Sunday.

I slept ’til 8. I never do that. It’s kind of my own fault, but maybe more of the fault lies with the author of the book I started at 10 pm last night. Yeah. After one, I made myself turn off my Kindle and go to bed. (Guess what I’m doing as soon as I’m done writing tonight????) 😉

I went to 10:45. Well, we do that every Sunday. But I really love my church family and friends. So it was definitely relaxing. And we sang a few of my favorites today…always a plus for this music lovin’ girl.

I ate a burrito. I guess this was relaxing in that I can nix Taco Bell from my I-can-eat-this-after-having-my-gallbladder-out list. Bummer, kind of. At least pizza seems to be ok. THAT would be devastating. I should point out that I ate On the Border the other night and was just fine…so it’s clearly Taco Bell. Clearly. 😉

It rained. Like, not pouring-so-much-there’s-an-extra-pool-in-our-backyard kind of rain, but it was still gray and drizzly enough to be the perfect Sunday afternoon. I wore a hoodie and sat on the back porch and drank coffee while…

Maelie slept. Oh, yes she did. (Thank you, rain.) And while she slept…

I created. One of my favorite craft-y things to do, besides painting, is make jewelry. I fixed a bracelet for a friend first, and then I started playing with wire to see what I could come up with. I made a ring that turned out ok…and daisy earrings that are pretty sweet. They still need a bit of perfecting, but daisies out of wire that are worthy to wear as jewelry? I think they’re one of my favorite creations so far. Oh, and I worked on a painting a little, but painting on the back porch when it’s raining doesn’t really work. The air was too wet, and the paint wouldn’t dry. I’ll finish tomorrow.

I took dinner to our neighbors. Grandpa S (as Mae calls him) is having surgery tomorrow, so we figured they didn’t need to worry about dinner tomorrow night on top of that. Plus, it’s always nice to go over and chat with them. We are pretty blessed with our neighbors.

We hung out with Mae and each other. Minus the part about Tobin completely skunking me at cribbage, it was a good family night. Nothing big or exciting…just us. It was nice.

I sang to my girl. Still one of my favorite parts of the day. I love that she’s now starting to sing along and even match pitch. Scary, I know. But also cool. She’s out for the night…

And I’m gonna go finish my book.

G’nite, friends!

Filed Under: blessings, church, coffee, family, friends, just life, Maelie, Tobin

Fill-in-the-Blank Friday

August 24, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

I found this link-up awhile ago.

Love the idea.

So, tonight, I’m linkin’ up!

My favorite thing to do on Friday is hang out at church. I know that sounds a little weird, but every Friday morning, Maelie and I go to Immanuel to help with wrapping bread and delivering it to places in our area. We also get to see some pretty great people/friends then, too. A little blessing that’s an important part of our Friday and of our week. Oh, and I also like looking forward to the weekend. Who doesn’t?! 😉

This Friday I did the above. Plus a no-nap afternoon from the princess, coffee with a friend/playtime for our girls, and then dinner with them plus the hubbies. A good Friday. Defintely.

The best thing about a weekend is having all-of-us-together time. Even though life isn’t always easy with a two year-old and we’re very-imperfect human beings, I love that we can do little things together like play outside, go for walks, have ice cream dates. I also really look forward to church.

Now that summer is almost over I’m feeling the strange paradox of sadness and anticipation. I love the free and wonderful of summer that bring with it flip flops and swimming and sunshine and extra friend time. At the same time, I love fall. Early morning running, coffee on the back porch, sweater and jeans weather. Perfection.

The best thing I did this summer was ummm…??? I don’t think I can choose just one thing. I love friend and coffee time in general, and there were some oh-so-good times that included just those. Probably the highlight was the trip that Maelie and I made to the farm with our dear friend. We loved it. And she is still talking about it.

The thing I’m looking forward to about fall is leaf-crunching while I run. I…ahem…will actually go out of my way during a timed run if I see leaves that need to be crunched. And, of course, the sweaters and jeans…and the combat boots, too. 😉

If I had to be stuck in one season for the rest of my life, I would choose spring. (Funny that I did this for several years already. And let me tell you all…year-round summer is not all it’s cracked up to be.) I’d choose spring for the fact that it can kind of be anything on any given day. There’s a chance of snow but also a chance of a really beautiful, sunshine-y day. I also love the new life that emerges…such a beautiful picture of how our Father is continually teaching us to grow.

Filed Under: blessings, coffee, family, Fill-in-the-Blank Friday, friends, just life, Maelie, remembering, Tobin, where I am

I Really Love This…

August 20, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Maelie had a play date with her sweet friends this morning. (M & E are just a few weeks older than she is.) I just think this is way too adorable…SO much cuteness!

I can’t believe how much they’ve grown up! So fun.

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, Maelie

Blessings for Today

August 17, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

I read a really good reminder this morning in the book, Jesus Calling.

“Accept each day just as it comes to you. Do not waste your time and energy wishing for a different set of circumstances. Instead, trust Me enough to yield to My design and purposes. Remember that nothing can separate you from My loving Presence; you are Mine.

I love it.

I love, even more, how God knows exactly what I need each day…and how He always gives it.

It doesn’t always look the same.

Sometimes His measure of mercy, from an earthly perspective, looks far bigger for one day than it does for another. On days like Wednesday, when I was fighting pain and desperately needed healing, it was more tangible.

Today is different. Yes, there is pain, but it’s more manageable and isn’t the type that I spend time crying to God, begging for healing.

He knows my needs each day and gives according to what He knows I need…not according to what I think I need.

I love that about Him.

The rest of today, and for at least the weekend, I’m going to intentionally focus on those blessings…however He chooses to give them.

Today they came in simpler forms, but were no less than blessings…a friend offering to take Maelie for the morning. A nap. Tobin being able to work half a day in the office. A shower and the energy to do my hair and makeup. A visit from a friend. A facebook note from a friend. A chocolate banana smoothie from my hubby. Friends who are bringing us dinner tonight. A chance to slow down and reflect. A smiling girl who understands mommy’s “owie” and continually reminds me that Jesus will make it better.

Tell me that I’m not one of the most blessed people on the planet.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend! Lotsa love to you, my friends.

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, Maelie, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am

Coffee?

August 13, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Mmmm…caffeine at 10 p.m.

Why, yes, I am.

Honestly, I don’t know how long it will be before I have another cup of coffee. But, let’s be honest, in Mel’s world, even a day or two seems like eons. I’m just guessing that doctors who remove gallbladders don’t really suggest that their patients drink coffee after the procedure.

Man, that stinks.

Somehow…SOMEhow…I’ll survive, I guess.

😉

So, tomorrow’s the big day, and as much as I don’t want to think about it, it’s pretty much impossible to NOT. I’ll admit to you, though, that I’m fighting the strange paradox of being potentially mortified yet slightly entertained at the strong possibility of me talking in my sleep during surgery.

When I had foot surgery in ’00 I spent the entire time talking to the doctor about skiing. He told me he was quite entertained. But I? Was completely embarrassed. And sooooo very thankful I never had to see him again. Well, after the follow-up when I got two cortisone shots in my feet to pour a little more salt into the wound.

Oy…

Does anyone else have a fear of that? I wonder if there’s a name fear of talking in your sleep during surgery?

There should be.

Ok, now that I’ve let that lovely thought re-enter my mind, we’ll move on.

Though I’m not sure to what…

I realize that this has zero to do with me, really, but I think it is utterly ridiculous that kids are going back to school so stinkin’ early. August 13th? (I have friends down South whose kiddos went back LAST Monday. The 6th.)

REALLY?!?!?!

Summer is winding down…it’s always a tiny bit depressing. On the up side, I have another year with my girlie before she heads off to PK…she’s growing up so fast! I’m excited for our year together, though…there will be so much more we can do…trips to the library, parks, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll learn to sit through a coffee date as well!

One can always have a bit of hope.

She was such a cutie today. We had a pretty busy morning with a hair appointment, a Target run, late lunch, and then a nap. (Throw in there that I went to the hospital at 6 a.m. to get my pre-op bloodwork done.) When I woke her up from her nap this afternoon, she recounted the entire day for me, telling me all kinds of details. We had the following conversation:

Me: What did we do today, Mae?

Maelie: Mommy…haircut. I love haircut. Mae-Mae needs a haircut.

Me: Maybe…not yet. And then what did we do?

Maelie: Shopping! At Target!

Me: What did we buy?

Maelie: Um…goldfish. (No, just Cheez-Its, but she thinks all crackers are goldfish. :)) And baby doll!

Me: And then what did we do?

Maelie: I take a nap. Mommy sing. Cover up. (blanket) Larry Boy! (Veggie Tales music)

Seriously, I think she’s brilliant. She doesn’t forget a thing…which, ahem…is not always good. But a good reminder for me that she is always, always watching. Learning. Repeating.

I feel like I blinked and my baby girl grew up.

I know that in sixteen years, I’ll be saying that again. And probably a lot more times in between, too.

I love her…the goofy, jumping-up-and-down-in-her-crib, spirited, fun-loving, a bit crazy but oh-so sweet girl that she is.

I’m so blessed.

And on another random note, I heard this song on KLove today. I loved hearing it on the radio though I found the music video slightly cheesy. However, I have never in my life seen someone look so incredibly UH-dorable while singing and playing the guitar. In clunky shoes. Maybe that’ll be me one day. Hey, I can dream.

Have a listen!

Hopefully I’ll be on the blog for at least a little while tomorrow, but we’ll see how things go. Thanks for your prayers, friends!

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, hair, just life, Maelie, music, where I am

Rest

August 11, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

The other night Tobin commented on how quiet Maelie was when I put her to bed that night.

I told him it was usually that way. Because before I put her into her crib, we always take about ten minutes to rock, cuddle, and sing. It’s a special time of day for me with my girl, and even if she starts out those minutes wiggly and hyper and ready to run circles, she always calms down and snuggles close within a few minutes.

I’ve continued to think about that since our conversation… it really is a beautiful picture of our Father.

Sometimes life is just like that pre-cuddle-with-Maelie time…it’s full of those crazy, so-anxious-we-want-to-run-laps, emotions that threaten to swallow us completely. Feeling that it’s impossible to sit still and just Rest.

As I processed through some things this past week, there was one thing that really calmed this heart.

Taking that time to sit, be still, and spend time with my Father. Sometimes I wish He could give me a real hug, but the promises in His Word are just as good.

I’ve got a couple days coming up that are going to have moments of anxiety.

Instead of letting those feelings overtake me, I’m choosing to find rest in my Father.

He is so, so, Good.

Filed Under: being mommy, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am