A Lesson from Qatar + A Bucket List

May 22, 2014 by · 2 Comments

So a couple months ago we took a trip to Indonesia. This post has been a long time coming…and it took awhile to write, so we’re going back a couple months. 😉

Doha.

That’s in Qatar.

Here you go…a map, just so you don’t have to go and look it up. :)

qatar
So we layed-over in Doha, Qatar, both going to and coming home from Indonesia. When we first booked our flight with Qatar Airways, I had to look it up on a map. Where is this mysterious country? Is this even a country? (Ahem…clearly, geography was not my strong suit. Actually, it was, but I missed out on this one.)

So I located it, a little peninsula of a country sticking out into the Persian Gulf and, in my opinion, just a bit too close to the country of Iran, but whatever. A motto in my life is to embrace the world, and so I at least try to do that.

So I can’t really tell you, probably due to my lack of coherence (and sleep) at that point in my day, exactly what my first impressions of Qatar…or, at least the airport, were. I remember that we took stairs off the airplane, boarded a big bus, and took a ride to the actual airport, where we went through security again and then made our way to a lounge for eight hours. (Hubby and a guy from Britain decided to strike up a conversation about the missing Malaysia Airlines plane at this time. Gee, thanks…just what I want to talk about as I’m traveling. by. PLANE.)

But the lounge was nice. It needed more beds…really…but comfy chairs, showers, food, and the coolest coffee maker ever more than made up for the lack of places to ACTUALLY. LIE. DOWN. 😉 (And I tried to take a picture of the coffee machine and got yelled at…yep, apparently using my iPhone in the food area of the lounge was a big no-no. Though the woman who scolded me had no argument to back up her scolding. Just trust me…it was cool.) 😉

QatarCoffeeBut I DID sneak this picture of my COFFEE. IN. THE. LOUNGE. (Hand slap.) 😉

Anyway, back to my purpose in telling you all of that. 😉 Since the food was all-you-can-eat, we chose those hours to make up for the less-than-stellar airline food we’d been served, which had gone mostly uneaten. (Except for the bread, the cheese, and the little KitKats.) 😉 And, oh, the food. It was a spread of yummy deliciousness…pastries, breads, sandwiches, fruit, and hummus.

I swooned over that hummus. (And ate as much as I could without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I did feel a little sick. A little.) 😉

It was while I was munching on, yet another, triangle of pita doused in hummus that I realized it…Eating hummus in the Middle East should have been added to my bucket list. You know, the bucket list I’ve been saying I would write for years and never actually HAVE?

Yeah, that one.

The reality is that I probably should write it soon before all that’s left is for me to go skydiving. Because I will never go skydiving, so there.

If you’ve had a conversation with me regarding the trip we took, you may know that really the only negative thing I have to say about our trip to Indonesia involves laying over in Qatar…probably something we will not choose again. (Though the hummus was good.) But there was a takeaway from our time there, and for that I am thankful. (Oh, and I also bought a mug and a little stuffed camel, so I guess I took those things away, too.) 😉

I took away the inspiration to write a bucket list for us. Me in particular, but I’m hoping Tobin and Mae will jump in, too. They’re invited, and so are you. :)

So here it is…the beginning of it all at least, complete with my happy little commentary.

And, of course, subject to additions for the rest of my life. 😉

Skills

1. Learn to play another instrument and actually play it somewhere. (If anyone will let me!)
2. Sell a piece of my art.
3. Publish my book. (Finish it first, I guess…and then find an agent, too!)
4. Become fluent in another language. (I seem to have a good head-start in Indonesian…) 😉
5. Learn to roast coffee beans.
6. Speak at least once at a writer’s conference.
7. Build a coffee table.

Travel

1. Visit the pyramids in Egypt.
2. Take a boat ride on the Nile and maybe even swim there. (I know, I know. Let’s not talk about the crocodiles, k?) 😉
3. Shop the markets in Turkey. (Must. Buy. A. Cute. Bag.)
4. Take a mommy/daughter trip to another country.
5. Do an overland safari in Africa.
6. See Machu Picchu in Peru.
7. Visit Australia and hold a koala. (Except for Antarctica, it’s the only continent we have left.)

Personal/Parenting/Family

1. Adopt a child.
2. Visit an orphanage with Mae.
3. Read 100 chapter books aloud with Maelie.
4. Return to Indonesia as a family for an extended period of time to serve.
5. Spend a year as a family doing acts of kindness for others.
6. Let Mae choose any adventure she wants to take for her 10th birthday and just go.
7. Do something wild and unexpected for a friend.
8. Do something wild and unexpected for a stranger.

Crazy

1. Buy plane tickets, pack our suitcases, and just go…all in the same day.
2. Buy a home in Bali for retirement someday.
3. Take our friends on a crazy, other-side-of-the-world, getaway for my 40th birthday.
4. Buy a motorbike/scooter in the U.S. (T made me add U.S. ’cause I had one in Indo…) 😉
5. Go a month without using a car at all.
6. Get a tattoo.

Physical

1. Break 27:00 on a 5k.
2. Run a 10k in under one hour.
3. Run a half marathon.
4. Do CrossFit for six months.
5. Learn to do yoga.
6. Run a 5k as a family. (All of us. Running.)
7. Complete a triathlon. (Shakin’ in my Nikes already…)

Spiritual

1. Read through the Bible in six months.
2. Memorize the book of Philippians. (I’m 3/8 of the way done. At least I used to be.) 😉
3. Lead an overseas mission trip.
4. Spend a year volunteering for Mercy Ships in Africa.
5. Go to Uganda with Sole Hope.
6. Learn to love like Jesus.

Did I miss anything? (Of course I did…every time I proofed this list, I kept adding to it!!!) 😉

What would you add?

Here’s to a beautiful life…join me? 

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, bucket list, family, friends, just life, Maelie, marriage, Tobin, where I am

Less Words…

May 15, 2014 by · 16 Comments

This might be the kind of day when I heart-spill a little too much.

So if I do, forgive me. :)

It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I’m up early because…well, because I’m trying to get into a good routine, and as much as I’d love to sleep much, much longer, this is my time to get things done.

I have to admit to you that I wish I were drinking coffee right now. We’ve got a big ‘ol container of Bailey’s Mudslide Coffee Creamer in our fridge right now (it was the only size they had) and OH. Yes, it DOES make me want to drink coffee all day. (As if it takes creamer to do that…) 😉 But, alas, I am not drinking coffee.

YET.

See, I’m also trying to be better about getting up to run early in the morning. I’ve been good during the last few months about doing lots of strength training and cardio/strength, but I need to get back to running more often. And my rule? No coffee til the run is over.

I know. Oh, I know. ‘Tis a bit brutal. 😉

I’m pondering life and love and the fact that my sweet three, almost-four, year-old finishes PK3 today. It has been such a good year for her, and I’m finding myself thinking back to the times when I would finish a year of school; especially when I was younger, I would always be devastated to say goodbye to my teacher. Clearly that emotion has been passed, straight on, to my girlie.

She cried yesterday when she told me she had one more day. I don’t WANNA leave Mrs. H! Or Mrs. B!

And, oh, how there is that piece of me that would gladly let her remain there forever…but we go forward anyway.

And with a few tears because that’s how a lot of us roll, I think, whether we’ll admit it or not.

And along with the whole finishing PK3 thing comes other milestones to remind me that my little girl is growing up so fast. A ballet recital on Sunday in a sparkly costume with her hair all pretty and MAKEUP. So not ready for this one…

Maeballet
A real, kid birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate the BIG FOUR. Not ready for that one in a completely different way…

Swimming lessons to come. That one I’m excited for…she’s been asking, and I want it for her.

So many changes every day…the pants get shorter and the cute little shirts don’t cover her belly anymore. Her aqua toenails peek over the edge of he flip flops, and I realize it…

…I wasn’t looking, and she grew up.

So time marches on, and while the snuggles and kisses remain, the I-love-you’s are a daily thing, and we laugh and dance together because it’s just what we do, I know it’s going to change.

That’s the part I don’t want to come.

I think back to the things I’ve always wanted so much for her…

To know that she’s loved so much…

…accepted as she is…

…and beautiful. SO beautiful.

Those things…they start with me.

And God has been doing some things in my heart when it comes to my daughter.

I was in Houston a few weeks ago with some pretty awesome sisters, and during our time there, a friend and I took a little break outside for a bit to sit by the pool in the glorious, Texas sunshine. (You know, that thing we haven’t seen much of in FOREVER here? Yep.) 😉 We were chatting up life…the two of us are in different parenting seasons…and I was soaking in all she had to say. The mama of four daughters, she gets this…

And I admitted to her that I felt like the blog was wearing me down and all I wanted to do was just be mommy. (But please, my readers, don’t run away.) 😉

As we continued to talk, I confessed that I felt like the time and energy I’d spent trying to build and comment and connect had depleted me more than filled me. That was a hard confession because I love…LOVE…this community. I want to be here…writing, sharing, doing life together.

And God isn’t saying to give that up…but He IS saying to step back a little.

That’s why it’s been so quiet in this space. It’s been a word battle anyway lately, but I also haven’t spent as much time at the computer. The majority of my day is spent with my girl…how it should be anyway. And nights are a little different, too…I used to spend them commenting and answering comments and reading blogs…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But you see, I have a husband, too. He and I are desperately trying to find our dance again. We’ve both kind of forgotten how that looks, but it definitely doesn’t involve computer screens.

It’s such a confusing place to be…knowing I’m meant to be a writer, but being aware that to everything there is a season. And I think it’s my season to write less. A lot less.

I miss connecting with my community as often. I miss the twitter parties and late nights…and while I may show up once in awhile, it’s no longer the commitment I sprint out of praise team for. It’s an added blessing when my day allows it.

And so, for this season, the rough draft still sits. The blog is a bit quieter. And the words flow through my heart more than they do through my fingertips.

But I’m good with that because it’s where I need to be.

And now I need to go…because four miles, a pot of coffee, and a sweet, three year-old princess await me.

Life is so incredibly beautiful…and I don’t want to miss any of it.

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Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, community, encouragement, just life, Maelie, marriage, running, Tobin, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Grateful

May 8, 2014 by · 9 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Grateful

Mae&MommySelfie2

This little girl is going to finish PK3 next Thursday. Hold me, ’cause I hardly know what to do with it all.

I’ll never forget the first day of PK last August. It was an emotional day, one when the tears just flowed. I was honestly surprised that I cried, but when I think about it…well, it doesn’t surprise me anymore.

I get it now…how quickly the days go, how the months seem to fly, how they just grow so fast. It’s sweet and it’s sad, but it’s all good.

This thing called mommyhood…the beautiful gift wrapped in love and crazy and hugs, a bit more crazy and even more love…well, it’s wonderful. Sometimes it feels like a wreck, especially on the days when the temper tantrums abound…but at the end of the day, yep.

My heart just bleeds gratitude. And so much LOVE.

I’m so grateful that I get to raise this girl. I feel so lucky. And even more blessed.

Last week we were playing with my phone. Lately it’s been a struggle to get her to actually look at the camera and smile at the same time…but the first thing she wanted to do?

Mommy, let’s take selfies! (Yes, she knows that word…ScArY.) 😉

And so we took a string of them. Some smiley, some goofy, some sweet…and the quality of them is terrible because I didn’t take the time to adjust the flash, check the lighting, or even to wipe the smudged makeup from the corners of my eyes. I just snapped the memories, and to me…well, they’re perfect memories.

And that sweet afternoon lives in my heart forever, too…and I’m so grateful.

Grateful that He chose me to be her mama and that we get to spend our days together. The tears threaten to spill over when I think of the years that are flying, but I wouldn’t trade a bit of it.

Thank you, Father, for my girl. :)

I am so very blessed.

Mae&MommySelfie

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, where I am

Here

May 6, 2014 by · 12 Comments

bike canvas

I was walking through Hobby Lobby the other day and I came across this. And I had to have it.

Bonus? It was 50% off…I think I paid $7 for it. (I really, really, loooove that store.) 😉

Yes, it’s a bike and not much else. No inspirational words, no deep thoughts to ponder, just a bike.

A bike.

And yet, it somehow struck a chord with me.

So we’ve been home from Indonesia for about four years and back from our visit for 38 days.

38 times I’ve woken up in the morning, most days with at least a smile because this really is such a good place. I love it.

But there have been more-than-a-few days, too, where there’s that ache in my chest followed by a quick, whispered prayer. Father,  I miss it. Why?

That’s a hard thing to admit to y’all…that my first words of the day have sometimes been of wondering and questioning, instead of trust.

It seems that the theme of my life, the story He has for me right now, revolves around the word, Here.

I. Am. Here. Deep, I know…but a concept every single one of you can relate to, due to the fact that you are…well, you are in your here, whatever that may look like, and wherever it may be. 😉

When I was little, I dreamed of another place…anywhere but my small town, where belonging never did happen. I didn’t want my here.

In college, I longed for a place with a bit more freedom.

I got married, and I longed for more because being married is tough stuff and a continual, day by day, process. Still.

In those first years of marriage, it was a longing for His Great Big Plan…wherever that took us.

And when that plan took us to Indonesia, we longed for home…far too often.

And now, here…well, sometimes we long for there.

It’s a jumble of always being Here. And, often, wanting there.

And it’s been a slow process…to accept that where He has me is always what’s best. It is because…well, because it is, and because it has to be.

My plan isn’t better than what He’s got…you’d think I’d have learned that a long time ago.

So if He’s got me here…well, here is where I should be.

And so I wrestle…and surrender. Wrestle again, surrender some more.

The truth is that my heart is torn between countries and continents, the crack separated by an ocean. It hurts…some days more than others and a few blessed ones, hardly at all.

In all of it, though, there’s been that reminder. Mel, you are blessed. And no matter how you’re feeling, and no matter where you are, there are always blessings. And you need to count them.

And so I count.

The sunny days, the rainy ones too. The days when Mae and I dance together and the days when mama and daughter struggle. The times when the adventures abound and the moments when they don’t. The living room picnics and the pony-playing. The sweet days and the hard ones, too.

All of it.

And maybe that’s what that bike meant to me, the second I saw it…Life is an adventure waiting to be lived. Here. Where I am. (<====Click to Tweet!)

How can I live it today?

Well, I doubt I’ll be riding a bike, but I think there will be some dancing with my girl. Some coffee drinking. Some playing outside. We might even take a walk to the park.

And maybe I’ll find a place to hang my new picture, too. :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, community, encouragement, Indonesia, just life, what I'm learning, where I am

Dear Dreamer…On One of Those Days

April 18, 2014 by · Leave a Comment

handsmug
Hello, sweet dreamer.

It’s your friend, Mel.

And I’m writing to you on one of those days. You know, those days. It’s the kind of day when I wish I could pour two mugs of coffee, add a little extra french vanilla creamer, and sit down for a heart-chat with you in a quiet corner at a cute little table.

Because…well, because we’ve all had those days, and sometimes I think we should talk about them more. Just so we can all be reminded that we’re not alone.

I’m imagining that, even as you read these words, you might be nodding your head. Saying, Yes. Or, maybe even, Days? How about weeks that stretch into months? (Trust me, I’m there with you.) 

Because there are those days, no matter who you are or what you’re dreaming, when the dreams feel shrouded in a fog so thick that there’s nothing to be seen.

Maybe the door to a dream has been closed.

Maybe He’s changed your heart and your desires.

Maybe fear has crept in and camped out in a too-big space, crippling your ability to move forward.

Maybe you’re just struggling for breath, hoping to make it to the next moment.

Or, maybe you’re all of them rolled into one…

Today I’m over at God-Sized Dreams, sharing a heart spill about some Truth on the hard days. Will you join me here? :)

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Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Five-Minute Friday: Paint

April 10, 2014 by · 22 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. So, grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Paint

Ok, so I really thought about making y’all laugh and writing about the ridiculous woodpecker who keeps pecking at our house and is leaving holes in the siding and taking the PAINT off.

I may or may not have totally chased him off with one of my boots today.

But, instead, I’m going to talk about what came to mind first and avoid the possibility of getting into trouble for chucking footwear at a bird. 😉

So, I’m really trying to be a more fun mama.

I mean, there are lots of moments of fun for me and my girl…goodness, we rode a motorbike together in Indonesia. And if there had been vines, I would have totally taken her vine swinging. 😉 And on a normal day, we have a great time. Dancing, playing, couch surfing.

Yes, yes we do.

IndoMotorBut there are also way too many times when I just avoid the mess.

Oh, there are definitely moments of the controlled kind of mess…the kind when we cook together and I just wipe up the messes as they happen. Or when we play with glitter glue and I just spread the newspaper far and wide so I don’t have to deal with the sticky and the sparkle all over Eve.Ry.Thing.

But this week…well, it was different, kind of.

We’ve been talking about painting together…that thing that is just GUARANTEED to change the color of the dining room table forever. But we were walking through Target, and she found it. A cute little princess set with a brush and Real. Live. Paint. (As in, not watercolors.)

Oh boy…and Mel takes a deep breath and spends the dollar so her sweet girl can have an afternoon of painting fun.

She had a blast. She seriously loved it.

And the best part? The paint wiped right off the table.

Win. And here’s to a lot more afternoons of painting and making messes.

Because I’ve got a pretty fantastic girl…and I want to make all the memories we can. :)

melmaepool

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, creating, Five Minute Friday, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, where I am

Behind the Scenes: The Blanket Stealer

March 4, 2014 by · 16 Comments

sammy_sm
Today’s post comes courtesy of a wife and mama who’s had a scattered Monday. Hey, sometimes it just happens. 😉

When I can’t focus, I talk about the fluff.

And today…well, it’s literal fluff. 😉

If you’ve been around this place awhile, you know about Sammy.

He’s our younger golden of the two at eight years old, but he acts about eight months old. He’s all crazy puppy and all love. Truly. And you will also never, ever meet a more loyal dog.

We kinda love him. A lot.

And it’s not really a secret in our house that our dogs are a bit spoiled. Not completely, but there are certain things they get away with. They regularly make themselves comfortable on our bed or on the furniture. (We just clean the dog hair off a lot. Pretty much every day, or at least it feels like it.) They beg when we eat. While we make them lie down while we’re actually eating, they do usually get a scrap of people food. And there are presents for them on Christmas and cuddles for them every day.

Every hour. 😉

They’re part of the family, and if dogs can reason, I’m pretty sure they know that.

Around Christmas time, I was the recipient of two awesome blankets. A sherpa throw that is UH-mazing and a heated blanket that has been my best friend during this never-ending thing called the Polar Vortex.

I will occasionally have to wrestle these blankets away from my daughter…she clearly shares her mama’s love of NOT. BEING. COLD.

Don’t worry…there’s zero bitterness in there. 😉

But my dog? Really?

I literally hopped off the couch for less than two minutes to run upstairs and do something. Left the heated blanket on because, well…IT’S COLD and I really can’t wait to Just. Crawl. Back. Under. It. And. Be. Warm. Again.

I thunder down the stairs, turn the corner, and…

Sammy.

On my blanket AND my pillow. All cozied in and snuggled up and looking about as cute as he possibly can.

Oh, the eyes…the please-don’t-move-me, look. Melt.

And while everything in me just wanted MY BLANKET BACK, it was too cute not to photograph. Hubby is good with a camera, yeah?

So that’s the story.

Of my cute, furry, sweet golden retriever and how he totally steals blankets and the comfiest spots in the house.

And since I know you’re wondering, T convinced him to scoot over a few minutes later, just enough so I could reclaim my spot.

And then he snuggled right up next to me.

It was a good afternoon. :)

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today I’m linking up at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes with some of my favorite friends. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

crystalstine.me

Sig

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, dogs, family, just life

Five-Minute Friday: Choose

February 27, 2014 by · 30 Comments

Friends, it’s been too long, and I’ve missed this community of heart-sisters and friends. And so today, I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday. If you’d like to jump in…grab a timer, set it for five minutes, and join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write. Then leave some comment love for the person who linked up before you…and anyone else because that’s the fun and the heart of the community!

Today’s prompt: Choose

I made a choice tonight.

To come back to write for Five-Minute Friday.

I’ve taken several weeks off, and it has nothing to do with anyone in the community…friends, my sweet sisters, you bless me. And I’ve missed you.

But I’ve also been having a doozy of a time with writing.

I call myself a writer, but for some reason I have struggled…battled…to get those words out.

And so I ran.

Not too far and not too long, but I ran just enough that I could give myself an excuse. I didn’t want to go away, but the choice to stay felt too difficult.

And you know what?

That choice made me miss all of you.

Miss the Thursday nights we used to tweet late into the evening and then spill our hearts through drooping eyelids. Miss the laughs and jokes and comments we shared.

It made me miss my community. A place I find home.

And it reminded me that community isn’t because of ability or the amount of words we can splash onto a page or, even, how beautiful we can make them sound.

Community is about making the choice to show up and love, every single day. No matter what.

Friends, I’ve missed you. And I’m sorry I ran for a little while. I might not be back every week, but I’m not going to run anymore.

Because my community…my family…it means too much to me.

And I choose to be here.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, community, Five Minute Friday, just life, where I am

Coffee For Your Heart: On Death Grips and Inspiration

February 26, 2014 by · 22 Comments

Family-28
We’re sixteen days out.

Sixteen sleeps, as I tell my girl.

It’s crazy…craaaaazy…that in just two and a half weeks, our family of three will be boarding a plane bound for Indonesia. (Only for a two week visit…just in case you thought we were moving back. Nope.) :)

To be honest, I don’t think I’ve fully processed all that will actually go into an opposite-side-of-the-world trip with a toddler. I know there will be extra packing and more organization than normal needed…gone are the days when we can toss things into suitcases the night before and call it good. Now I actually have to plan what she will need, not only while we’re there…but while we’re on the plane. While we’re in the airports. While she’s up at two a.m. and running circles in someone else’s house, thanks to the inevitable, sleep-stealing, jet-lag.

I have gone over and over potential details of this trip in my head…meaning I’m pretty sure I’m missing a lot. (I need to just Make. A. List.) 😉

But I’ve planned surprise activities and gifts for Mae. (A huge thank you to the dollar section at Target.)

Lots of snacks. (Hello, endless fruit snacks and goldfish. Hypothetically, of course. Of. Course.) 😉

New headphones so she can watch movies and play games. (The first flight is 14 hours. The second, nine. Plus a stellar eight hours in the Doha airport. Yeah….)

My goal is to do everything in my power to keep her busy, entertained, and blissfully unaware of what happens when the plane lands.

Because here comes the confession. 😉

I’m not a great flier. I do fine once we’re in the air, but the takeoffs send my heart rate up, and the landings? Well, they send it through the roof.

It’s pretty safe to say I hate landings, which is so weird and ironic, because those landings mean we’ve finally arrived, and the fun can begin.

But I still loathe them…and freak out far more than a person should.

Though the takeoffs make me nervous, I totally plan on grabbing Mae’s hand, comforting her if she’s scared, being close and letting her know that her mommy is there as the plane soars into the sky.

She thinks we’re taking the plane to heaven…goodness, I hope not. 😉

But the landings…well, that’s where I might get selfish and hand it ALL over to my hubby. I’ll be too busy trying to calm my own heart, attempting to keep my pulse inside of my body, hoping I don’t break my fingers as I death-grip the armrest.

And that will be hard for me…I know it. I will struggle as my three year-old sees fear in her mama, up close and right in front of her.

It’s not something I’m proud of…but I also know something. I’ve been on a gazillion flights…I think, last time I counted, we are hovering near the 200 mark.

And I know…I KNOW…it’s not going to be different.

I’m not going to magically have a calm heart and be all chill when the plane hits the runway and, most likely, does a hopefully-only-little bounce. I can pray, and I know He will give me the strength to get through it.

My Father knows how good my prayer life is when a plane is about to land…but He also knows that’s how I face fear.

I’ve been thinking about fear and how I so often view it as a weakness.

But it’s not. Really, it’s just an opportunity to lean on Him and not let that fear overtake me.

And that’s what I’m hoping my daughter sees in me when we have the first of six landings. And the second, the third, the fourth…

When I think about people who inspire me (though I’M not necessarily inspired by ME) I think of those who stare down fear and rise above it.

And that doesn’t always mean the death grip is released and the heart rate returns to it’s usual, whatever number.

It simply means there’s a trust that God is bigger than all of it. Because He is.

I think of a sweet friend and mama who is raising her six precious kiddos alone. She’s so brave as she lives a life that looks different from what she planned, and I’m sure there are times when she is afraid and times when her kids might even see that fear. But she faces it, she trusts in Him as she walks in Grace, and she inspires a lot of people.

I think of a friend who is facing unknown right now…scary unknown. And he chooses joy and trust in the midst of it, knowing that God’s plan is always the right one. That? It’s inspiring.

I think of a dreaming sister who fights for her family and for what’s right, even if it comes at a cost. The days can be hard and the future blurry, but she walks on in faith. And she inspires me.

And I’m hoping that maybe…maybe…one day down the road, my sweet Mae will see the death grip and the shaky, sweaty hands of her mama as inspiring.

Someday. 😉

In the meantime, I’m gonna fight that fear…because He didn’t give me a spirit of fear.

He gave me a reason to lean on Him.

Our Indonesian adventure with a toddler is just 16 days away…bring it on!

This time, as a family of three…and I. Can’t. Wait.

**************************

I love my sweet friend, Holley‘s, new link-up! Her Coffee For Your Heart: 2014 Encouragement Challenge is just what it sounds like. Think of Wednesdays as that day where I just share some encouragement…and you can pretend that we’re sitting at a table over coffee, just sharing life. Sounds like a great way to spend Wednesdays in this space. :) I hope you’ll hop over and join us!

Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, coffee, culture shock, encouragement, just life, Maelie, Tobin, travel, where I am

Coffee For Your Heart: I’ve Got Joy

February 19, 2014 by · 22 Comments

JOY
Just call me Mom of the Year.

Really. I may even sport a sash today, declaring it to the world. (Or, at least my town.) 😉

Blame it on the lingering, flu-like whatever I’ve been fighting, the distractions that come with some commitments, the crazy of chasing a three year-old all day, or the fact that I’m just Mel.

Probably all of them are to blame a little yesterday.

It’s bad enough that I missed her Valentine party last week…more on that some other day. Ahem. 😉 AND that I walked into her PK room just in time to hear her tell her teacher, But I don’t haaaaave a mommy {here}!

Dagger to the heart. Vow to never mess up so badly again.

Enter Tuesday.

Bless my heart, I got her to school on time, even a few minutes early. I went home, made some coffee, got a few things done. Definitely looking like it’s gonna be a good day.

Pick her up right at 11:00. Perfect.

Go home. Give both of us a chance to rest and hopefully kick the rest of the flu nastiness.

Mae has her pb&j…and I hear my phone go. A text.

Are you guys coming to lunch? We miss you!

Stink.

Oh, stink.

Stink, stink, stink.

I forgot.

HOW did I forget?

Special lunch for sweet little three and four year olds at a fun restaurant not too far away. I prepaid. I. Even. Set. A. Reminder.

And I forgot.

I was almost in tears when I told Mae that I’d forgotten. We quickly put our coats on and headed out to catch the end of it, but I was afraid she’d missed the fun.

I told her I was sorry, and she squeezed my hand.

It’s ok, mommy. I still love you. We’ll have fun!

Melt. Me.

Oh. Oh, how often I focus on the times when I mess up. (I kind of do it often. But still.)

But this little girl…she looks at the good…she finds the joy.

JOY. She’s got it.

She didn’t see yesterday as a Mommy-messed-up, day. She saw it as an I-get-to-go-hang-out-with-my-friends, day.

She saw the joy in the moment…and she’s reminding me to do the same.

Joy…it’s found in so many moments. So many.

My Father’s love for me. Promises from His Word. Sweet, good-morning hugs from my favorite toddler. Happy doggies panting in excitement to see me. A kiss from my hubby. Bowling with my girl. A fun Valentine’s dinner with friends. A fresh pot of coffee to make those six a.m.’s just a bit more bearable. A sweet voxer thread from my team of dreaming sisters. A heart-and-coffee chat with a dear friend. Prayers. Uplifting words, verses. Writing. Singing. Playing handbells. A long, not-too-early, morning run. Reconnecting with an old friend. Anticipating a long-awaited, other-side-of-the-world, reunion. Beach trips and surfing. Laughter. Rainy season memories. Family. Being home. An amazing neighborhood. Community. Church. Bible Study. Learning to love others.

I could keep going for a long, long time. There are so many things that bring joy…because the Giver of that joy? 

Well, He’s Good.

And this little girl…well, she is one of my biggest JOYS.

And she might have even seen me as Mom of the Year yesterday, too. 

Do you think I could get her to make me a sash? 😉

Mel&Maebowling
What brings you joy today? :) 

**************************

I love my sweet friend, Holley‘s, new link-up! Her Coffee For Your Heart: 2014 Encouragement Challenge is just what it sounds like. Think of Wednesdays as that day where I just share some encouragement…and you can pretend that we’re sitting at a table over coffee, just sharing life. Sounds like a great way to spend Wednesdays in this space. :) I hope you’ll hop over and join us!

Coffee-for-Your-Heart-150

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, encouragement, family, friends, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am
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