2013: Dream

January 1, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

Happy 2013!

If you popped over for my list of 13 in 2013 ;), I hate to disappoint you, but there’s not one.

It isn’t that I don’t believe in setting goals or having things to work toward. There are plenty of things I’d like to see happen this year. I just didn’t write them all down.

At least yet.

I’m trying to find more balance this year…and I’ll admit that I’m definitely in process.

We all are…all the time, but for some reason I just feel like I’m really in process right now.

I’ve decided that’s a good thing. :)

2013 is the year I get to write my book. Honestly, I’ve already written a good portion of it, but this is the year where it goes somewhere. That is, if God wants it to. And so a lot of my spare time…you know those moments between chasing a toddler and painting with watercolors and sticking stickers and rocking baby dolls…will be spent with words.

I wrote my life statement for the God-Sized Dream Team today.

Hmmm…

It was no small task. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on one sentence. And between the scribbles and notes, I managed to come up with what I believe God is asking of me this year.

I believe God has created and called me to encourage and inspire others through words, stories, and lessons learned from the unexpected adventures that come from a journey of walking by faith.

At this time in my life, I feel that sentence best depicts the purpose of my book.

God gave me (us) an experience like no other when He opened the door for us to spend five years in Indonesia. That doesn’t make our experience, or our lives for that matter, any better than anyone’s, but those years did leave me with a few things.

Perspective.

Insight.

Heart lessons.

Laughter.

Deeper love.

…and more.

And my purpose in writing is to share some of what He taught me through the grit and the grace that abounded during those years.

And still continues today.

In trying to choose a word for 2013, I went through several.

I thought I was going to choose Rooted, a word that God continually seems to bring to my mind and my heart.

In the end, though, I chose Dream.

God has given me an incredibly opportunity to really pursue the dream of writing a book this year. He’s given me amazing friends and prayer support and a team of women who are each pursuing a dream as well.

Today is the first day of 2013, and again, as I do each day, I am giving my dream to God. I can plan all I want, write all I want, submit my book to as many publishers as I want…but in the end?

What happens is up to Him.

I trust Him and I’m blessed beyond words for the opportunity to

DREAM.

Will you come along for the journey?

And, today, my sweet friend, Holley Gerth, launched an e-book called The “Do-What-You-Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better. It’s fantastic…I’m going through it right now. And today…JUST TODAY…the Kindle version is free! Head on over here for your free copy!


Sig

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, goals, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Those 12

December 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

This post should probably be otherwise titled, That Post When I Reflect Too Much.

However, I want you to actually read it. 😉

Exactly 364 days ago, I set some goals, which you can read here. (Or you can just scroll down, too.)

Time to see how I did! (And to look forward to all that 2013 holds…which I very much hope includes some brown and tan paint over some purple walls. Do I get bonus points for choosing the colors at least?)

Spoiler…oops. Sorry about that. 😉

Here we go!

1. Start…and finish…the canvas painting for Maelie’s room. Check. No drama here. I just painted it one Sunday afternoon, hung it on her wall that night, and that was that. :)

2. Redecorate our front living room. (The purple needs to go! Soon.) Well, friends, the purple still needs to go. We actually bought the paint in October, but between life and more life, the living room is still an unfortunate shade of purple.

3. Start an Etsy store so I can sell my jewelry. Ok, so I’m not selling jewelry. But selling hats on Etsy counts, right? 😉 

4. Take some kind of lessons…guitar, voice, djembe…still deciding, but leaning toward djembe. I went with guitar and started in April. It’s good…am learning a lot and even played a real bar chord, though it wasn’t pretty. :) 

5. Complete a marathon. (Edit…1/2 marathon.) Didn’t happen. Though a half marathon is on the list for this May, and then we’ll see. I don’t have any plans to run a full marathon yet…to be honest, though I love running, four hours straight of running does not really sound even remotely enjoyable. I think I need my marathon-running friends to give me a little push here. :)

6. Run a 5k in less than 30 minutes. This actually happened several times during the year, which was a boost. I broke 30 for the first time in May and am now running my regular 5k around 28:00 flat, give or take. My fastest clocked one was around 27:15…factor in a few stops for cars that don’t yield to pedestrians (or runners). I’ll take it. :) Would still love to hit the 26’s…we’ll see. :)

7. Continue blogging at least three times a week once January 24th has passed. Yep, got that one covered. :)

8. (Re)Learn how to sew and make a bag out of some of my Indonesian batik I still have. Nope. I thought about pulling out the sewing machine several times but never actually did it. I love to teach myself new things, but sewing scares me.

9. Finish the rough draft of my book, Lessons From Indo: On Life, Love, and Squatty Potties, and submit it to at least one publisher. Am late on this one, but the plan is to be done by May. Extremely grateful for the chance to be part of the God-Sized Dream Team…these women are such an encouragement as I navigate something that is really new. It’s one thing to write a blog…it’s a completely foreign place to write a book. Really praying it will happen in 2013!

10. Continue developing discipline in my life by spending time in God’s Word each day…whether two minutes or two hours. This one could be a post all on it’s own. I’m not sure why I even set this goal because for me, it was unattainable. Don’t misunderstand me…I love my Father and His Word. But, honestly, I didn’t read the Bible every day. I don’t know if that makes me a bad Christian or just an honest one. Maybe I’ll hash this one out more later. :)

11. Guest write for another blog at least once. (The Patch doesn’t count.) I didn’t pursue this one like I should have…I found myself most content just writing at my own place and linking up other places, which provided some new bloggy friends. To me, that’s worth it. :) But I do have a guest post coming out next month on (in)courage…not sure of the date but will let you all know when it’s up! This one, in particular, was really a blessing because one of the editors wrote and asked me if they could use something I’d written. I must be doing something right. Thank you, God. :)

12. Go on an actual vacation with Tobin (and no Mae) to celebrate our 10th. We stomped our feet (well, not really) through Marbella, Spain; Tangier, Morocco; and Paris, France. It was a crazy adventure, as all trips we take together seem to be. We missed Maelie, but it was good time to spend together, and we had a really memorable time. Spain gave us our time to relax, Morocco was an insanely crazy adventure that left me dying to go back and explore more, and Paris was a dream come true, complete with bread. (We even kissed under the Eiffel Tower!) 

It was a wonderful 2012, though not everything turned out as I had first pictured. In many ways, it was better.

Here’s to a wonderful 2013!

Blessings to each of you, and thanks for being part of my barefoot journey!

God is so Good.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, family, goals, just life, Maelie, remembering, running, Tobin, travel, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Collisions

December 30, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Is it bad to tell you that for the last week writing has been about the last thing I’ve wanted to do?

I especially felt guilty about that as I’d read the blogs of friends…they were all so inspiring and beautiful as each writer managed to take something profound from the birth of Jesus and apply it to life now.

I mean, it’s Christmas, after all. That’s when bloggers are supposed to pull out their best writing.

Not me.

And I suppose it’s not that way for everyone. It’s just how I feel. How I felt as I labored, literally, over each word in the last week, trying to pull beautiful out of seemingly nowhere.

And as I opened my laptop tonight, part of me just wanted to go to bed and do some more non-writing.

Which, I guess, is the opposite of writing.

Which makes me a genius for figuring that out? 😉

At any rate, yeah.

Life is just a strange collision right now.

In some ways, that’s not a diversion from the normal of life. There are always ups and downs, joys and sorrows, things that make me laugh and others that make me cry, times of being surrounded and times of loneliness.

I usually have no problem processing those things, but for some reason, it feels almost impossible to scribble out anything worth reading lately.

That’s why I post pictures like this one. Hey, when you have a cute little princess dancing for the camera, who needs words? 😉

But if I’m being honest, life is a mix of crazy confusion and big blessing right now.

I’m supposed to be in the thick of book-writing right now, and instead I’m wading through a swamp of doubt and fear and insecurity.

To be blunt…it sucks.

Not only does it just suck…but it’s suckING me down, slowly.

I’m questioning purpose, the right to dream, and if I’ve actually got what it takes to follow through. It’s discouraging, at-times depressing, and just feels…wrong.

It feels wrong to be even feeling those things when there are so many blessings surrounding me.

Because there really are.

Friends, family, community, church, sisters and dreamers…all good things. And there are so many more.

I know I am blessed, but I am also reminded that any journey toward a goal isn’t without challenges.

Most of you know that I’m writing a book with the goal of being finished by May. (I’m shooting for much sooner, but well see. :)) I could use prayer.

Prayer for focus…that I will keep my eyes on what I’ve set out to accomplish. And that I’ll keep them on my Father and what He’s asking me to do.

Prayer for balance…because I’m still a wife and mommy, and those two titles take precedence over “writer” each and every moment, as they should.

Prayer for wisdom…that God will guide my words and help me to speak Truth without being culturally offensive. (This is a big fear of mine because some of my writing deals with life in another culture.)

Prayer for love…that each word will be just that.

Thanks for reading my collision of words tonight. Blessings to you all as you close out 2012…can you believe it?! Time just zips by.

Love this quote I found today…maybe it will add some inspiration to your day, too. :)

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, friends, goals, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, prayer, Tobin, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Friday Photo

December 28, 2012 by · 1 Comment

Dance like no one is watching.

My Maelie girl, you are amazing. I love you so much!

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie

‘Tis the Season

December 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Just being up front here…I celebrate Christmas ’til New Years. K? 😉

That’s why when my girl crashed for the night at 6 pm (really), I decided to make myself a mocha and curl up on the couch under my favorite flannel blanket to do some writing. I think the Christmas tree lights are inspiring. :)

We had a great Christmas.

Really great.

It seems that the last few we’ve spent here have each looked different, but they’ve all been good. This year we spent Christmas Eve with some sweet friends from church, and then we spent Christmas Day just the three of us.

It was nice. :)

This was the first year that Maelie really understood the concept of baby Jesus and Christmas presents…it was so much fun to see Christmas through the eyes of a little girl. She slept in, and once she was up we took our time with gifts. She’d open one or two, play for awhile, we stopped to make breakfast, read a few stories, opened a few more gifts, played more, opened the rest, and then finally opened our stockings. I think we finished around one in the afternoon, and it was perfect. :)

A few pics of the fun. What a cutie. :)

Santa brought a “Cinderella toy”, just like she wished for. :)

Her “very own iPad!” (her words ;)) Though she doesn’t have the concept yet, she will soon enough, and Mommy and Daddy shout out a huge “thank you!” to Grandma Rose and Grandpa and Wilma O for making road trips more enjoyable. :)

Yesterday we trekked (not really…it’s an easy, just-over-an-hour drive) to Janesville to see some dear Indo-friends who now teach in Peru but were home for Christmas. I love these reunions, and we have been blessed with many of them. We also got to catch up with more friends who were passing through the area…it was just a great, big Indo-reunion. So fun. :)

Today we just took it easy. Did a Target run as a family…the kind where our hilarious (read: possibly slightly dramatic) daughter completely chilled out in the cart and kicked her feet up. Oh, I love her and the countless ways she brings a smile to my face…and to my heart. :)

It was a busy afternoon of princess-playing and Tinkerbell-watching and cookie-munching, (hey, I said I celebrate ’til New Years!) and by five this afternoon, she’d had it. She snuggled up close for a story, a few songs, and went to sleep.

And I smile.

I love the traditions we’re beginning as a family.

I feel so loved.

Life is just really, really…blessed.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Thanks for stopping by tonight!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, where I am

Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Wishing you a joyous celebration of the birth of our Savior!
Blessings to each one of you!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, just life

Christmas Favorites

December 22, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Song? Hope is Born Again (Point of Grace)

Movie? Prancer takes the cake. But closely following it are Home Alone and It’s a Wonderful Life. And for some reason, I associate The Sound of Music with Christmas, so although it’s not technically a Christmas movie, it still makes the list. :)

Book? Would you believe I just started reading A Christmas Carol for the first time two nights ago? Determined to finish it by Christmas. :) But I also love The House Without a Christmas Tree and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, two books I read over and over as a child.

Drink? I hate eggnog…just throwin’ that out there now. 😉 Apple cider and coffee with holiday creamers.

Food? I don’t know that I have one favorite. Love the cookies. Love ham and all the yummy things that go with it.

Childhood Memory? Probably when I was nine years old. I had asked for a scooter, and when I came downstairs (at around 5 a.m. I’m sure!) it was under the tree. But it was so cold and snowy that I rode that scooter around the basement until March. :)

Most Unique? We spent Christmas of ’06 in Thailand with our friends, Becky and Andy. On Christmas morning, we exchanged stockings, ate breakfast, and then went to the Grand Palace in Bangkok. That night we went out for an incredible Italian dinner and finished the day with a little shopping in the market. Definitely a Christmas to remember!

Tradition? Now that we have Mae, I love the little things we are doing to give her traditions and memories…like our Advent calendar (which we always forget to do!), buying her an ornament each year that represents something significant from her life that year. As she gets older, it will be fun to do things like gingerbread houses and decorating cookies.

Giving or Receiving? Giving.

Tree…Real or Fake? Fake, out of necessity. I need to be able to breathe. 😉

White Christmas? Yes to the movie. The snow, I can go either way…so it’s win-win.

Lights? Yes again, but only white. Not a fan of multicolored.

Memorable Gift? I went a year and a half in Indonesia without my wedding ring. (Long story.) One Christmas Tobin picked out a white gold ring for me with three little diamonds. I loved it, and I love that he picked it out himself. :)

Wish List? It’s more fun to wish for Mae. :) But call me a dork…I asked for leg warmers. Really. If they are in my stocking on Christmas morning, I’ll be a happy girl.

Perfect Day? One spent surrounded by my family and/or friends and filled with laughter and love.

Feel free to join me and leave your answers in the comments. 😉 Hope you’re all enjoying the Christmas season…it’s a busy one, isn’t it?

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, just life, remembering, where I am

Little Blessings (Pt. 57)

December 20, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) Staying warm inside the house when the winds are blowing outside. (I was gonna talk about my slippers but think maybe I’ve overkilled that one. ;))

:) Cookie parties.

:) A heart to heart with a friend.

:) Decorating an empty wall.

:) Pretty incredible news that I’ll share with y’all soon. 😉

:) Dozens of colored lights and beautiful reminders of my Savior’s birth.

:) Handbell-ringing. I am still not good, but it’s still fun. 😉

:) A good workout after a nine-day hiatus. (Nasty cold. Feeling better now. :))

:) Perspective and moments to hold my daughter close.

:) The beautiful way that God is continuing to build community for me. (More on that soon!)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, just life, where I am

and More Honesty

December 17, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I don’t want last Friday to become a theme of my blog.

Because it isn’t about me…though it is where my heart is right now.

And I have to tell y’all the truth…I’m completely and utterly torn. Like, wake-up-at-4:30 a.m.-with-tears-streaking, torn.

In the dark, I whisper why‘s and how‘s and what-if‘s…all of those questions that should never be uttered because I know

Who.

And my sweet girl sleeps soundly in her room, and everything in me aches to lift her from her gonna-be-a-toddler-bed-soon crib, even though it’s the wee hours of the morning, just to feel her heart beating against my chest. How I would gladly sacrifice sleep and a less-tired day for the reassurance at that moment that she is alive and well.

I opt, instead, to tiptoe into her room, rest my sweating and shaking hand upon her chest, and wait until she’s taken a few deep breaths. Satisfied, I leave as quietly as I entered.

But sleep has escaped me and there’s nothing to do but lie there in bed and…pray.

I know my prayers aren’t meaningless and unheard, but how can a person feel that their words to God can mean anything in light of the magnitude of heartbreak enveloping so many lives?

It’s a question I grapple with as I lie there.

The household doesn’t stir for almost an hour an a half more; even the dogs are oblivious to my nighttime restlessness.

I talk to Him. About the families, about those aching. I pray for those I know personally who need extra strength or healing. I talk to Him about my dreams, about my hopes.

I give thanks.

Thanks that I have the blessing of a little girl who is the sunshine.

Thanks, too, for the shadows that preceded the sunshine, because they brought more beauty than I ever dreamed possible.

And in that moment, I remind myself…

Oh, what dark shadows are surrounding these lives right now.

But, oh, what complete beauty will come.

Weeping may last for the night, but joy…JOY…comes in the morning.

He’s promised us this, and so we can know and lean on this Truth.

Oh, Father, we anxiously await the day when You will bring that JOY. And until then, we lift these precious families to You, knowing that You’re holding each of them in Your strong and sovereign grasp.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, friends, just life, Maelie, prayer, where I am

Honest Thoughts

December 16, 2012 by · 4 Comments

I try to be honest in this space.

Obviously, there are things that I don’t tell you, things that don’t need to be shared, and things that just plain don’t belong here.

But I think this particular type of honesty does have a place here, especially after last Friday, a day that will be etched in the minds of most of us for heart-wrenching reasons.

I think that’s why I need to share.

You see, it has been a really, really hard few weeks in the parenting department.

It felt like, almost overnight, my sweet, usually-compliant, full-of-love daughter did a 180.

She and I were constantly butting heads over everything…from helping to pick up toys to getting her diaper changed; from sharing with others to simply doing what mommy asked her to do. She would yell at me, throw temper tantrums, and often hit.

I don’t share these things to embarrass her later in life…goodness, I was two once, and no angel, I’m sure. 😉 And it wasn’t like there weren’t any good moments…it just felt as if the difficult ones overwhelmed everything else.

My meter-o-patience was teetering dangerously toward empty in the middle of last week. It felt like every moment was infiltrated by a toddler determined to do exactly the opposite of what I wanted from her.

And then Friday came.

We had a really good morning together, but by afternoon we’d had a couple rough patches, and I felt like we were both in survival mode until Tobin came home from work.

And then I logged into facebook, which led me to turn on the news, where the tears immediately started to fall.

Little kids. Why, God??? Why little kids?

I’m pretty sure those words came out of my mouth as I buried my head in my hands for a minute or two.

And then I felt her hand on my knee.

Mommy? Mommy? It’s ok. You don’t need to cry.

In an instant she was in my lap, snuggling deep into my left shoulder, allowing herself, uncharacteristically, to be held tightly for several minutes.

The whole time I prayed was a mix of Oh, God, be near and Thank You, Father, that my girl is in my arms.

The crux of it for me? Is that there are going to be Days. Weeks. Stages.

Ones that I don’t love like I should, ones that I squeeze out of my sponge rather than soak up.

I don’t think there’s a parent out there who would say that parenting is easy and without frustration and tears.

The events of Friday broke my heart. There’s nothing I can say that people haven’t already said…my eyes fill with tears when I think of parents who have empty arms and shattered hearts over those precious children who are gone from their lives much too soon.

As I held my daughter tighter on Friday, it was almost like God was saying,  You know what, Mel? There are going to be those days. But hold her close and love her because I’ve given her to you.

Oh, my Mae…we are going to struggle. We are going to have some rough moments. But, as has already been true, I know the good and the wonderful will always outweigh those moments that are less-than that. I want you to know, sweet girl, how much I treasure you, how much

I. Love You.

To the moon and back. Plus infinity.

:)

Thank You, God, for my girl. For mommy-daughter moments shared, for lives impacting others, for overjoyed laughter…

And for Love.

Always. Love.

Sig

Filed Under: barefoot, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, just life, Maelie, where I am
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